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Dating chat thread! Number 47

(1000 Posts)
lubeybooby Wed 20-Mar-13 19:43:20

Here we go again folks, all dating related chit chat here.

lubeybooby Wed 20-Mar-13 19:44:54

can't believe it's that time again already shock

WarmFuzzyFun Wed 20-Mar-13 19:45:08

I love a new thread Lubey, well done for the link, smart move. thanks

lulubellaboozle Wed 20-Mar-13 19:50:43

Place marking << waves at thread>>

lubeybooby Wed 20-Mar-13 19:51:26

I had literally just turned up to post, noticed it was on 998, did this face shock and hurried up... haha.

another shock at the realisation that it's a year since mine and BC's first date.

Part of me wants to rewind a year and do it all again because it was awesome... but another part knows that yet again I've come a long way in a year and is happy with the me that is the result of it all.

OhWesternWind Wed 20-Mar-13 19:53:28

I like a new thread too and I wonder what's going to happen in our lives over the next few days to fill it up ..,

Had a good, positive day today with no whittling (well, a couple of minor ones but I didn't let them get a hold). Treating this like giving up smoking or something, a day at a time, but all is well so far.

Seeing LM tomorrow. Must admit I do still get a bit excited about seeing him. Need to lure him back to mine for Coffee afterwards and hope the children stay asleep!

ParsleyTheLioness Wed 20-Mar-13 19:55:14

Oh good, a new one. Anybody know if there's a way of blocking on POF if I haven't had a message recently? Recurring time-waster site user, who I talked with a few months ago, but the messages don't go back that far. He has appeared again, as wants to 'meet me' hmm but can't see a way to block...

ike1 Wed 20-Mar-13 19:56:39

You can only block someone with a message I think parsley using the block button next to the message.

hoplittlebunnyhophophop Wed 20-Mar-13 19:56:41

New thread! Ok well I did hear from him, hi how are you etc. Dying to ask about this woman, but don't feel like I can without coming across as a bunny boiler! How would a message along the lines of 'weird coincidence but someone I vaguely know was gushing to all and sundry about a man she's seeing, sounded very much like it was you. Its none of my business but I don't want to tread on anyone's toes so would rather cancel friday if it is you' sound?

lubeybooby Wed 20-Mar-13 19:57:14

I don't think you can block the meet me thing.

I just find that entire feature massively annoying and wish they would scrap it, it encourages messages without reading profiles imho. I have directed all the 'wants to meet you' emails to spam as well because you can't turn those off.

Snapespeare Wed 20-Mar-13 19:59:33

Place mark. Nothing goin'on with me. Friday date planned with nameless. I miss him. I thought Monday and friday would be reasonably spaced meet-ups. They probably are, I'm just feeling a bit frisky cuddly.

lubeybooby Wed 20-Mar-13 19:59:38

hop oh gawd... I dunno. Brain a bit frazzled. Hmmm..

ParsleyTheLioness Wed 20-Mar-13 19:59:55

Oh, that's a good idea. Spam them...never fails to irritate amuse me the no of men who use this feature, then don't respond to the first message! Are they just mass mail-shotting?
Bunny are you sure its the same one, or just a hunch?

OhWesternWind Wed 20-Mar-13 20:01:10

Hop it's probably best to have a conversation face to face about this type of thing. And apparently you're now supposed to have a conversation about being exclusive, until then some people think its ok to carry on dating so I wouldn't necessarily chuck him for this. All very odd, not like the olden days when I was last dating confused

MirandaWest Wed 20-Mar-13 20:02:08

Hello new thread smile

Was just chatting with Mr Nice who is in San Francisco now and found out I thought he came back Monday afternoon but its Tuesday afternoon. As I'm picking them up from the airport it's a good thing I know grin

MirandaWest Wed 20-Mar-13 20:03:05

I am missing Mr Nice. Humpf.

VelvetSpoon Wed 20-Mar-13 20:05:32

Lubey, well done for starting a new thread!

So I have POAS, and (as expected) it was negative. Albeit there was a slightly nervous moment where I had it the wrong way round and confused the control window with the test window...

Anyway, all for the best as I think C is seeing someone else. Or if he's not, he's actually not that interested in me. As I'm sure everyone but me has thought all along.

Which feels a little bit like a kick in the stomach. And I had a brilliant day at work, and was so happy earlier.

hoplittlebunnyhophophop Wed 20-Mar-13 20:07:00

About 90% that it's him, it wasn't just a physical description, it was specific stuff about his job, where he lives etc. Really unlikely that it isn't him.

ike1 Wed 20-Mar-13 20:07:58

Ha Miranda bloody hell that would have been a bit of a wait!!!

ike1 Wed 20-Mar-13 20:09:07

Oh good Velv. xx

hoplittlebunnyhophophop Wed 20-Mar-13 20:11:38

Velvet, sorry to hear you're feeling like that, why do you think that C is seeing someone else?

hoplittlebunnyhophophop Wed 20-Mar-13 20:11:39

Velvet, sorry to hear you're feeling like that, why do you think that C is seeing someone else?

ParsleyTheLioness Wed 20-Mar-13 20:12:01

Bunny I think that there is good advice upthread about exclusivity...takes a bit of getting my head around, I must admit.

VelvetSpoon Wed 20-Mar-13 20:17:54

I hope you mean purely re the POAS bit Ike!

Hop I have been digging on his FB. I don't know what made me, but I looked at one of his friends added this year, he has made a very flattering comment this week on a recent photo of her. It's the sort of comment you would only make to someone you were involved with, or were at the very least attracted to. He only has about 50 people on his FB, so it's not like he's handing out compliments to loads of women. And of course I am not his friend on FB.

Guess that solves the mystery of why I haven't heard from him...

OhWesternWind Wed 20-Mar-13 20:21:41

Velvet good news about the stick! Has anything happened with C to make you think this or is it just his slow communication style? If its the latter I'd text/phone and ask him. Nothing to lose really if you've come to the end of your patience with him. Hugs to you, sorry you're feeling low.

OhWesternWind Wed 20-Mar-13 20:23:15

Sorry Velvet cross post. Sorry to hear that.

lubeybooby Wed 20-Mar-13 20:26:39

Hmmm velvet (yay for the neg result btw) but about C, so he is around online and stuff then yet takes forever to reply to your texts? That is really shit tbh.

I had got the impression he was one of these technophobe type people but those types don't make comments on photos.

mercury7 Wed 20-Mar-13 20:27:15

bloody facebook is the work of the devil..maybe just ask him Velvet if he wants things to be ongoing between you?

ike1 Wed 20-Mar-13 20:27:43

Course Velv Was in a bit of a rush with message there. Fuck sakes its all so bloody disappointing....

hoplittlebunnyhophophop Wed 20-Mar-13 20:30:47

Oh, sorry velvet. What are you going to do?

VelvetSpoon Wed 20-Mar-13 20:32:33

Lubey generally he is not an online sort of person, hence so few people on his FB. I've not seen anything else he's commented on - I've had a quick nose on his immediate family's pages and nothing there, and nothing else on any of this girls other photos. So I don't think its something he does all the time, which makes it worse somehow.

Bollocks.

VelvetSpoon Wed 20-Mar-13 20:35:39

I am gutted, honestly I thought he really liked me. I didn't think you spent all night cuddling someone and holding their hand if they were just a meaningless shag.

If I don't get a text by tomorrow I will have to text him and ask him outright if he intends to see me again. Even though I probably know the answer to that.

lubeybooby Wed 20-Mar-13 20:36:53

I would text him again now asking nicely for an answer about Friday, so that you at least know if you have the chance to talk or not.

Is he still on PoF or whatever?

Movingforward123 Wed 20-Mar-13 20:51:26

Just marking my place wink

Velvet - sorry to hear that hmm stupid men!

VelvetSpoon Wed 20-Mar-13 20:53:26

C was on Match, I deleted my account so can't check but tbh even if I could I don't really think I can face knowing about that, tonight has been disappointing enough already.

I have never doubted him for a second (in terms of thinking he may be seeing/pursuing other women), somehow that makes it worse.

I had a brilliant day at work, a v senior manager (the one who thinks I am always cheerful, and today said he cant imagine me being in a bad mood!) told me he thought some work I'd done for him was outstanding grin, and told my manager (in front of me) that I am not allowed to leave, as he wants me working directly for him for the foreseeable. Which is a massive feather in my cap.

and now this hmm

WarmFuzzyFun Wed 20-Mar-13 20:53:26

Velvet sad I hope not. Let's not be to swift, it may not be how it looks...

WarmFuzzyFun Wed 20-Mar-13 20:58:46

{Some} Men are strange creatures....talk to him, face to face, and find out. Decide what you think/feel and go from there.

We are here.

I feel a bit upset about it myself (silly isn't it?)...sad

OhWesternWind Wed 20-Mar-13 21:01:19

I'm with WFF if you can get to see him. When the situation's a bit tricky, face-to-face talking is usually best. Could you just text saying you need to see him Friday?

ike1 Wed 20-Mar-13 21:01:40

I apologise to the undoubtedly many fine fellows out there....but honestly at times it just seems that we females are dealing with utter crap and bollox from blokes..

velvet crap sad. How about you text him tonight, see if you're going to meet or not this week. Like Lubey says, at least you'll know that at least.

OhWesternWind Wed 20-Mar-13 21:02:28

And brilliant stuff at work. A real feather in your cap!!

I really must stop trying to post from my phone, I'm bad enough when I'm on the laptop blush.

VelvetSpoon Wed 20-Mar-13 21:08:40

Ah WFF don't be sad it's bad enough I'm on the verge of tears, I don't want to make anyone else sad!

Much as I do want to talk to him, (and I think everyone is right, any sort of conversation needs to be face to face - not that I'll be admitting to stalking his FB, but I do need to know whats going on between us, whether this is just sex or more than that) and not jump to the worst possible conclusion, I don't know if or when I'll get the chance, I haven't even had a reply to the text I sent on Monday yet, which asked if I was seeing him on Friday.

Velvet ((((hugs))))

VelvetSpoon Wed 20-Mar-13 21:34:54

I just got a text. I hadn't sent mine, so this is replying to Mondays. Need the collective hive view.

He has said he's got his DC Friday, he's really sorry, that he is useless for not having told me sooner or for having arranged anything else instead, and for letting me down. He said he feels he is messing me about a lot, and not being fair to me.

Bollocksbollocksbollocksbollocks

ike1 Wed 20-Mar-13 21:38:12

Put simply...yes he bloody well is! What a flaming pain...

ike1 Wed 20-Mar-13 21:41:16

I think at this stage Velv I would be tempted to text a 'Are you really all that bothered? text and try to move on..

hoplittlebunnyhophophop Wed 20-Mar-13 21:41:37

Velvet, you could try just being straight up with him by agreeing that he has been a bit useless and that you would like to see him but that if he would just rather leave it at that he should be honest about it.

Actually, I am not the person to give advice about this. Ignore that.

KinNora Wed 20-Mar-13 21:41:39

Firstly Velvet I'm really sorry about the FB thing. I agree with everyone else who says that you need to see him face to face ( and I know how hard that is ) - as for the text apologising about messing you about, being useless, not being fair to you, the answer is easy, he should stop being so bloody elusive and actually put a bit of effort in instead of angsting.

ike1 Wed 20-Mar-13 21:44:20

I wonder what he would do if you told him you are coming over now to talk?

KirstyWirsty Wed 20-Mar-13 21:46:51

Sorry to hear about C velvet ..

I have set up an ok Cupid profile .. Have had one message (a bit slower than the POF deluge I had last time) from tallsmartsexy who claims to be a model .. His profile and messages have more red flags than Moscow on May Day

Anyone want to have a once over on my profile for me?

VelvetSpoon Wed 20-Mar-13 21:48:05

My head is spinning, am going to have a bath and a bit of a think, will be back in a bit. Please carry on without me smile

Ike I've never been to his house, he lives with his parents - which is part of why it's hard to see each other. So there's no way I could say I was coming round to talk, or that he'd believe me if I did say it.

Movingforward123 Wed 20-Mar-13 21:48:51

Velvet - well done at work, glad that's going well at the moment!

How often do you normally see him? As its defiantly not often enough for you, and he doesn't seem to have good manners as never replies on time and leaves you hanging! I think he's right he is messing you around.

Its a shame as I know you do seem to like him, but without being rude do you really like him? Or do you like him as you had that period bridge where you didn't get past the first date?

And I promise I'm not saying it in a judgey way, I'm saying it from experience as I feel I let guys hang around for too long that don't deserve my time!

hoplittlebunnyhophophop Wed 20-Mar-13 21:49:07

I will if you want kirsty?

Scattylatte Wed 20-Mar-13 21:49:36

Aaahhh velvet bollocks. ok he has sent you that text and I'm sure you are both pretty pissed off and upset. I'm not sure how you should reply to make you feel better but I'd be inclined to treat him like he has treated you and dutifully ignore the text for about 2 weeks then casually reply 'who is this?' I suspect your suspicion about his Facebook is spot on and I think he is messing you around by giving you excuses. Sorry and hugs.

Scattylatte Wed 20-Mar-13 21:50:44

Fab news about your work though. Get that feather out!

Velvet so he knows what he ought to do and it's really not that difficult to be considerate. This can't be doing you any good, do you want to bite the bullet and ask him outright or shag everything else in sight whilst you wait until you can see him face to face? If you wait, it could be a while of just not knowing when, never mind what his answer is.

lubeybooby Wed 20-Mar-13 21:57:52

Velvet I suspect he wants to make you dump him. I'm really sorry but that's what his reply smacks of to me. Cowardliness.

I would reply: Tomorrow then? Quick drink after work?

if that's a no, then Sunday? (or whenever he's dropped his DC back at their mums)

I would get on his case now, basically. His reaction will be telling as to whether he means he is sorry or is just making excuses and waffling and being a coward.

Kirsty I have OKC, pm me if you want to

ike1 Wed 20-Mar-13 22:00:15

As Lubey suggests and keep looking...no more Ms Patient

KirstyWirsty Wed 20-Mar-13 22:05:59

velvet I think he probably is trying to goad you into dumping him too .. He doesn't really seem what you want.. You can do better .. And I forgot to say great news on the job .. I'm glad the move to the new job has worked out for you

Next you'll meet a nice man who wants to spend as much time with you as you do with him

OhWesternWind Wed 20-Mar-13 22:07:34

Sorry Velvet if we're deluging you - don't want you to feel pressured. But I think Lubey's plan is good - drinks tomorrow and then see what he says.

48howdidthathappen Wed 20-Mar-13 22:21:52

I would like to wrong, but I do agree Velvet I think C is trying to make you dump him. If I was in your position I would delete his number and move on.

Do you need this bollocks?

Movingforward123 Wed 20-Mar-13 22:21:58

Also velvet I agree about him maybe wanting you to end things.

If you remember mrworkaholic was treating me badly so I decided to en things! Then we spoke and he ended things because he felt bad and didn't want to hurt me. That was four days before Xmas! And now 3 months later has tried to get in contact.

For once I've done the right thing and bloked him on Facebook and what's app!

ClippedPhoenix Wed 20-Mar-13 22:24:31

Is there room for one more?

I just rejoined POF and Friends Reunited Dating.

Anyone got any other suggestions?

48howdidthathappen Wed 20-Mar-13 22:29:14

For various reasons haven't seen Mr R&R for over a week. He is going to see family in fucking Yorkshire. Again angry Over easter.

I am going to purchase a rabbit grin

WarmFuzzyFun Wed 20-Mar-13 22:29:17

Hi Clipped,

My suggestion is :

1. Develop a thick skin;
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon;
3. It's all BS until it actually happens;
4. Trust your gut instinct;
5. If it is not fun, stop.

grin

I enjoy OD, it is nice to talk to and meet new people, sometimes it works sometimes is doesn't, but still it is interesting to get out there and 'carpe diem'smile

VelvetSpoon Wed 20-Mar-13 22:30:03

I'm reading, and trying to word a text to C. I can write a 50 page report in an afternoon yet with him I am utterly tonguetied, and have so much and yet so little to say.

I guessed you would all think he's BS, and wants to be dumped.

I do like him, a lot. When I'm with him it's just lovely. Not perfect, not the best ever, but lovely nonetheless.

I do know though that I can't make him like me if he doesn't.

WarmFuzzyFun Wed 20-Mar-13 22:31:51

Velvet, be kind to yourself, and if you can't do it just now, don't. Take your time and do it when the words flow and you are ready for whatever the outcome is <hand squeeze>

48howdidthathappen Wed 20-Mar-13 22:35:38

As WFF" says *Velvet In your own time. In your own way. ((((hugs))))

lubeybooby Wed 20-Mar-13 22:36:19

Velvet, I would just keep it simple and sharp - ask about a drink tomorrow asap... no other wording and keep on pretty much like that til you have a day sorted. It's urgent that you talk to him and any other wording for your text can be in person smile and as I said his reactions will be telling. Don't exhaust yourself with a text, just send one quick so he gets it tonight.

That's what I would do anyway

<sneaky hug>

48howdidthathappen Wed 20-Mar-13 22:36:47

Excuse typos wine

OhWesternWind Wed 20-Mar-13 22:37:20

Velvet just write what comes from the heart. This isn't a time to be over thinking stuff. We'll all be here to hold your hand.

48 very seasonal grin. How long is he going for? Was this the place where there was no mobile signal?

Phoenix OkK Cupid is free, lots of people use Match but it can be expensive unless it has an offer on. Good luck!

WarmFuzzyFun Wed 20-Mar-13 22:38:41

You know how I feel about MisMatch! {boo}

WarmFuzzyFun Wed 20-Mar-13 22:39:12

grin Bet I meet my next husband on Match

ike1 Wed 20-Mar-13 22:39:50

Yep...Velv business like...As we cant meet up Fri I suggest we meet up tomorrw night. End.

ike1 Wed 20-Mar-13 22:40:09

Dont ask, tell.

ClippedPhoenix Wed 20-Mar-13 22:41:29

Thanks all.

Don't worry I've used dating sites for years. So know the score and have a skin like a buffalo grin

Just wanted to know what sites are good these days.

Will give OK Cupid a go too seeings as its free.

48howdidthathappen Wed 20-Mar-13 22:43:09

OWW A long, long, sexless weekend. 4 days!!!!! No chance this weekend either. We both have too much on.

Yes. The arm waving place.

I feel very seasonal grin

WarmFuzzyFun Wed 20-Mar-13 22:43:22

They are all a 'good' as each other, of course I have a bias <whispers> Match is best avoided, allegedly grin

Scrazy Wed 20-Mar-13 22:44:16

Velvet, I would also second, don't say anything to him now wait until tomorrow. He is telling you that he is messing you around and he is. It reiterates the saying 'people tell you who they are'. I know you liked him and it must be hard to take but you need someone who won't mess you around.

ike1 Wed 20-Mar-13 22:58:08

Its a broad church that athletic description isnt it?

KirstyWirsty Wed 20-Mar-13 23:05:47

ike I think a lot of men think athletic means that if they own a pair of trainers then that's them hmm

ike1 Wed 20-Mar-13 23:09:13

Yep! Think you might be right there Kirst....pic of a pretty enormous bloke in Maccy D's ....athletic apparently. Well, well...

Velvet you have done patient, you need to know what is going on with him so I second Lubeys suggestion, no explanations, feelings etc, just about meeting up tomorrow, Sunday etc. Nothing to loose at all.

48howdidthathappen Wed 20-Mar-13 23:10:40

Or watching footy on Sky.

Where is Bants loo update? This could be a good sign grin

Clipped any of them, except MatchAffinity, Match or e-disharmony. I like okc as it's a bit more alternative and friendly but it depends where you live apparently.

VelvetSpoon Wed 20-Mar-13 23:13:13

I've sent C something. I couldn't condense any of my actual thoughts onto paper so I've gone for the can we meet tomorrow idea instead. In the hope that he says yes, and that I can actually manage to verbalise said thoughts by then.

Thanks so much all of you for your kind and thoughtful advice tonight, I may not take all of it because I'm irritating like that, but it is v much appreciated nonetheless smile

lubeybooby Wed 20-Mar-13 23:32:09

It's ok velvet there tends to be a lot of conflicting advice as well... hope he pulls his finger out. Keep us posted and keep that chin up... don't let anything spoil how brill your work day was!

Velvet keep meaning to say congrats on your work stuff today! grin

VelvetSpoon Wed 20-Mar-13 23:51:27

Thanks - the work stuff is keeping me going! That and some harmless flirting with the guy from school who's on my FB...

C can't do tomorrow, youngest DC's parents evening. I have checked, and it is true. I've suggested he should come up with an alternative. look at me getting all bolshy!

Go velvet grin

VelvetSpoon Wed 20-Mar-13 23:56:27

My god, he has now actually sent me a flirty text. C that is. First one ever shock

Maybe I should be bolshy with him more often?!!

I am not sure I will ever work men out...

ike1 Wed 20-Mar-13 23:58:50

Velv...what the????????????

Ok so he's woken upgrin
Name the day C, name the day.

ike1 Thu 21-Mar-13 00:01:06

No Velv....nor me....

lubeybooby Thu 21-Mar-13 00:21:27

<taps fingers together in the manner of mr burns... >

eeeexcellent velv... wink

WarmFuzzyFun Thu 21-Mar-13 08:06:19

Told you '{Some} Men are strange creatures...'

48howdidthathappen Thu 21-Mar-13 08:53:58

Woo hoo Velvet smile

Snapespeare Thu 21-Mar-13 09:23:08

Velvet what's he playing at? hmm His texts read (paraphrase)

1) I'm rubbish, aren't I? you'd be far better off without me being sporadically communicative and never making an effort to even grab a coffee with you bearing in mind we live so close to each other. you'd best dump me….
2) flirty flirty flirty flirt.

he's a head-fuck. he's blowing cold and hot. I know you have this 2nd-date cherry mindset and I know you like him, but you deserve to be treated with honest communication and respect and I'm not seeing any of that. I'm seeing either someone with an over-inflated opinion of themselves who likes keeping a variety of women dangling because it feeds his ego, who is calculatingly applying a hot/cold to keep you interested. or someone who is just a twat.

in summary: he's an idiot. you are a young leopard print clad Jackie Collins. If I were you I'd get back on dating sites toot sweetie - especially the ones you know he frequents.

OhWesternWind Thu 21-Mar-13 09:42:03

Got huge butterflies/nerves about seeing LM tonight. Sense of impending dooooooom and it's not even Winedoom. He's been good with phoning but seems to have totally abandoned replying to any texts which is unsettling me. It's over a week since I last saw him, nearly two since we had the chance to go to bed.

I'm feeling very sidelined and pushed out, low down on his list of priorities. I know his children will always come first, but i cant see why we cant see each other when he has his children, either all together kids and all or stopping in. Or he could get a babysitter like I have to. And he is making time to see his sodding Little Friend over Easter but no plans with me so far. Just feeling a bit frustrated, I know he's been hugely busy with his shop, which I do understand. Just letting off steam a bit.

Maybe I should be a bit more high maintenance and demanding like his friend (and his mum) but its really not me, plus I think he has enough demanding women in his life.

Part of me thinks tell him, part of me thinks this isn't a good time for that kind of conversation and to leave it a while. Advice please!

ike1 Thu 21-Mar-13 09:45:59

In comparison Mr Marine Eco/Bio is confusing me with his concern that I might think he is being rude/ignoring me if he does not reply immediately. What is this? Politeness? Or a red flag......? What are his alterior motives I wonder? (cynical, moi?)

Velv...its bloody confusing that's for sure...let's see if he can sustain in first then I'll get out my best bottle of Pinot for a toast...hoping the best fot you though..

ike1 Thu 21-Mar-13 09:46:48

sustain IT.

ike1 Thu 21-Mar-13 09:47:37

....oh and he can speak latin (translated one of the film titles, that I went to see)

lubeybooby Thu 21-Mar-13 09:49:38

OWW you should definitely come before the little friend. So yes! be demanding! If you don't ask, the answers will always be a no, because the others have got in first with requests for time.

Fuck being understanding when it means you are suffering and waiting around and questioning things as a result. Nip it in the bud.

ike1 Thu 21-Mar-13 09:52:22

OWW, when pushed I can do MAJOR diva strops ....but I really dont like doing it and dont feel good after. I suppose I can see both sides...he is having his work cut out at the mo but its Easter and a good time to have fun together.......I'd probably wait a bit and then have a chat...let's see what the others think too.

ike1 Thu 21-Mar-13 09:53:03

Oh there you go ...Lubes is going for the Diva option...

lubeybooby Thu 21-Mar-13 09:59:47

Definitely... why should OWW, as a serious girlfriend and who he supposedly loves, be coming second to piddly annoying friend?

No need to have a strop as such but definitely talk about it...

ike1 Thu 21-Mar-13 10:03:52

Yep...happy to second that...

Bant Thu 21-Mar-13 10:08:41

Sorry for the lack of loo update from last night. I was kind of distracted.

Excerpt from last nights second date conversation with buffy..
Me: so I haven't learned to cook Hungarian food yet but if you'd like to come over at the weekend I can practice my spag bol?

Buffy: that sounds nice. Or, to be honest, we could just go back to yours now and see if the sex is good. I think it will be, don't you?

Me:... Erm. Okay. (to waiter) Check please!

(it was)

ike1 Thu 21-Mar-13 10:11:13

Well, well...a forthright lady indeed, Bant...you lucky fellow! Brains n Bonkin....good combo......

lulubellaboozle Thu 21-Mar-13 10:14:47

OWW definitely need to have the conversation and come first in front of his "little friend" funny how you can really despise someone you've never even met!. Sometimes there never is a "good" time to talk, it just needs to be done and you have been very patient.

Bant get you eh? bet you've never paid a bill so quickly!!

lubeybooby Thu 21-Mar-13 10:22:06

Hahaa Bant grin I LOVE her style, nice one

Movingforward123 Thu 21-Mar-13 11:27:47

Oh crap was just speaking with my brother about something and he told me his friend has got a girlfriend, and has been going out with her for quite a while. What a little shit!!!! confused

ike1 Thu 21-Mar-13 11:36:54

....well there you go Moving ....bullet dodged! Little shit indeed!

Bant Thu 21-Mar-13 11:45:41

Right. I dropped MedStudent. Told her I'd met someone else and was seeing how it worked out, and couldn't see more than one person at the same time as they were both worth more than that. Feel like a cad as she was very into me, but ..

Moving - what a little tosser. Are you going to mention it to your brother?

ike1 Thu 21-Mar-13 12:08:16

Had to be done Bant, had to be done.....it was only 2 dates in anyway.

lubeybooby Thu 21-Mar-13 12:25:13

Bant, yep what ike said.

Moving, also what ike said! Bullet sooo dodged.

bant now that is a woman gringringrin

OhWesternWind Thu 21-Mar-13 12:39:38

Bant yay for Buffy! She rocks. And you've done the right thing with the Med Student - all is looking good in Bant World. grin

Moving slimy toe rag. You're best out of it. Anything more from your ex?

Velvet - have you heard from C today? Very mixed signals, don't know what to make of it at all, really.

I'm going to see how things are tonight with LM, will talk about Easter plans and hope we've just had a bit of a glitch with all the shop stuff. It's been very stressful but things should be calming down soon and he needs to give me some more of his time. I hope he does this off his own bat but if not I'll talk to him and ask. Am also going to ask him if his fingers have dropped off as that's the only reason I can see for zero texting . . . but lots of actual phoning. Weird. I am having a horrendous time with my mum at the moment so I am aware that this may be responsible for feelings of doom with regard to LM.

Moving that's very poor, what a shit

OWW so, he's used to demanding women? Give him what works then.

Velvet any date finally or not? What Snape said.

lubeybooby Thu 21-Mar-13 12:53:02

Arse. Haven't been able to sort out the meeting I wanted that needs to happen up near BC as easily as I thought.

I'm going to have to invite him down here instead of 'just happening to be nearby'

Really don't have much available time (namely with my DD away) to invite him down though... hmmm. This is going to take a lot of clever jiggerypokery.

OhWesternWind Thu 21-Mar-13 13:55:22

Aw fuck it, I know I'm worrying about LM because of other shite going on. I'm going to go out tonight and have a good time with him. Which I always do, I love spending time with him.

WarmFuzzyFun Thu 21-Mar-13 14:13:42

OWW is this the right time to [hsmm], or am I too late, or wrong time? I need some clarification...

(Relax, deal with the 'friend' however you see fit, and try not to fret, he is yours, okay? He isgrin)

WarmFuzzyFun Thu 21-Mar-13 14:14:13

hmm not [hsmm] blush

OhWesternWind Thu 21-Mar-13 14:26:25

Yep, WFF, could be quite a good point to hmm at me . . .

Will channel my inner diva - or maybe not. I'm not particularly divaesque and I always end up feeling a bit embarrassed if I do have a bit of a moment. Prefer talking and a bit of humour/sarcasm so will try that first. If that doesn't work, then watch out LM!!

I think my mum is having a bit of a mental health crisis, very bizarre and disturbing behaviour. Won't post about it any more on here but it is causing me a lot of worry especially as she looks after my children after school.

Lubey hope you can sort out the logisitics!

ike1 Thu 21-Mar-13 15:07:16

Think about after school club oww...mine love it! Do you think it could be the start of alzheimers or dementia?

48howdidthathappen Thu 21-Mar-13 15:08:41

What a day.

Came home for lunch. Locked myself out angry Mad panic! Shut my bedroom window this morning. I never do that. Sat in car pondering what to do. My sister called she had just bumped into Mr OZ. He has just got back.
He is calling me tonight

Went back to work. Text a friend "get on my sons FB and find out no of his locksmith mate. Called him, he came round and sorted it. For free smile

Told Mr R&R by text Mr OZ is back. I don't like secrets.

Going back to work now. And breathe.

OhWesternWind Thu 21-Mar-13 15:11:31

She's been getting more erratic for a while but this week's behaviour is very bizarre and upsetting. Could be the start of something but she will never admit there is a problem.

Only thing about after school club is the ££££ but it might be the only way forward. sad [worried]

OhWesternWind Thu 21-Mar-13 15:13:09

Oh bloody hell 48 what a day!! Mr Oz is back double bloody hell!!! What are you going to do?

ike1 Thu 21-Mar-13 15:18:21

Depends OWW you may get tax credits...

ike1 Thu 21-Mar-13 15:19:12

Or part and part with mum and after school

KirstyWirsty Thu 21-Mar-13 16:08:22

48 what are you going to do re Mr Oz

OWW are there no mums from school who could help out?

I may have a date on Sunday wink

Snapespeare Thu 21-Mar-13 16:27:32

buffy (I know you're not here but) <high-five>

bant I hope you are walking around with a GIANT grin on your face today. and extra points for being honest with MedStudent

48 yay! and ooh. points for you as well for being honest and telling mr R&R

OWW hope your mums MH isn't too difficult. Thinking of you. agree re tax credits, but finding an after-school can be a PITTits

VelvetSpoon Thu 21-Mar-13 17:37:40

Western, how stressful re your mum. Hope you can sort something out re the DCs.

I might (and it is only a might) see C tonight. It may be end of next week or later otherwise, and I don't want to wait that long. So we are trying for tonight - subject to how late the school thing goes on etc.

I am reserving judgment til I speak to him, and we have a proper conversation. I know you all think I deserve better, and am probably being stupid, but this feels like the right thing to do.

Velvet you are not being stupid, hopeful yes, but never stupid. I hope you see him, I hope you are able to get some answers as you really do deserve better than this.

lubeybooby Thu 21-Mar-13 17:48:47

Velvet, there is no doubt you do deserve better... but keep up that bolshiness and keep up the contact with C and maybe he'll actually be able to give the 'better' version... if that makes sense.

It's been so long now, it's worth a try.

lulubellaboozle Thu 21-Mar-13 17:51:45

velvet I think it is the right thing to do, find out where you stand and then you can make an informed decision about what you want to do. Hope you get to see him, parents evenings don't finish that late, and good luck

OhWesternWind Thu 21-Mar-13 17:53:47

Yes, LM is at a parents' evening before he comes over tonight, it's that time of year! Hope you get to see him, Velvet, and to have a good talk with him.

My mum's currently not speaking to me, which is a relatively easy option grin

48howdidthathappen Thu 21-Mar-13 18:39:09

I am going to see Mr Oz if he is up for it, would rather tell him about Mr R&R face to face.

Mr R&R has said he ok about it, not so sure he is. But hope I proved my honesty.

VelvetSpoon Thu 21-Mar-13 18:42:08

Am feeling a bit stressed both by the prospect of the conversation (and hearing stuff I dont want to hear) and not knowing for definite* if I will see him, and may therefore end up having primed myself for nothing. Aagh.

*because I don't think it starts til 7, by the time he's seen the teachers, either had a chat with his Ex (if they've gone together) or dropped DC home and then spoken to her (if hes gone alone) thats going to be 9ish at the earliest...

Plus I've never had any sort of conversation like this before, not just with him, but anyone. I've either known how someone's felt about me and been happy with the status quo or if not just dumped them without any discussion. This all feels a bit grown up and unchartered territory blush

Am going for a lie down and to try and stop thinking about it all, and hopefully feel a bit better!

KinNora Thu 21-Mar-13 18:43:31

Velvet never yet seen you be 'stupid'. I hope you get to see him tonight.

OWW give him a bit of northern diva, Little Miss Sheep Eyes needs to know precisely how unimportant she is.

Moving what a tool he is, I think you need to go out and get yourself a foxy replacement.

Bant - go Buffy ! Whadda gal.

Juliette did I miss what happened with GSM 'What Day is It' Man ?

48 blimey. Good luck with Mr Oz.

Kirsty excellent news on the date.

WFF really liked your 'things to bear in mind when OD-ing' list, it pretty much summed up my own thoughts.

Ike what's the deal with the herbalist bloke, are you going to meet him ?

Waves at everyone. No real news chez Nora ( apart from having to take part in a cheesy work photo op tomorrow with a donor, of puddings, not organs). Mr Showbiz sent me a photo of a pair of very sparkly high heels the other morning. <Cough> shoe perv. Mr Software is checking out a cocktail bar he's going to take me to on my birthday trip to his city, to make sure it's 'good enough' for me. I might go Buffy on his ass.

lulubellaboozle Thu 21-Mar-13 18:43:36

48 have you told Mr R&R what you are going to say to Mr Oz?

lubeybooby Thu 21-Mar-13 18:47:34

Woohoo! I'm off out tonight for curry and maybe some slight naughtiness with #1fwb. Who, thinking about it is also one of my best friends. We rock the fwb thing.

Kin I liked WFF's list as well, verrrry very good indeed. WE should put that somewhere on every thread! And yes, we should all go the way of the great Buffy at some point in our lives. grin

48howdidthathappen Thu 21-Mar-13 18:56:07

lulu I have no idea what I am going to say to Mr Oz. New ground for me confused

I do know I missed him loads more than I thought I would. Need to meet to see if there is anything still there. He is only man I have ever met that sex didn't matter shock

MsCellophane Thu 21-Mar-13 18:56:48

hello everyone, too much to catch up on but glad everyone's tests came out in the way wanted and jealous of Bant and Snape and in awe of Velvet - you are pretty amazing!

I have been planted firmly on the sofa after MrCM. He dented me a little bit

But have been back on POF this week and set up another IE profile - hoping to find a new hotbut (who is never around when I am, have had to cancel him twice recently as my off time didn't match his)

I went on a date today - the man had 2 and a half teeth and 1 was black! I can't do bad teeth - shudder. So that was disappointing

Last night on IE profile, MrCM messaged me, didn't know it was me supposedly - absolute prick, it describes me to a T - hair, eyes, shape, location - had a brief convo, I scared him apparently (bless) he still isn't sure he is ready for anything, he asked if he could say hi sometime, I was polite and said if you want to. I didn't say I would say hi back though and I don't think I will smile

No other men in the pipeline, so will carry on halfheartedly and see what turns up

lulubellaboozle Thu 21-Mar-13 18:59:36

I can see why Mr R&R may be a bit unsure then 48. when you say sex didn't matter, what do you mean exactly? xx

lulubellaboozle Thu 21-Mar-13 19:00:38

Oops texting and MNetting at same time, added xx as derigeur for my texts blush

48howdidthathappen Thu 21-Mar-13 19:04:41

Mr R&R & me are both very sexual, which is fantastic, we have a lot of Coffee.

Mr OZ not so, he is very inexperienced and quite shy. I didn't care. Loved every minute with him. It was like we had known each other all our lives.

JakeBullet Thu 21-Mar-13 19:14:18

Glad to have found this thread....hoping for some advice.

I have been single a long time but recently heard again from a man I started chatting to on a dating site last year. We have never met because I wasn't in the frame of mind for it last year but we did exchange a couple of friendly emails.

Anyway....lots of recent emails later we are now planning to meet up for lunch.

So...he is widowed, has older and adult children...some still living at home.
Nursed his wife at home while she was dying.
Has been single more or less since she died....had one relationship after a year but said it was too soon so didn't last.
Now it's several years on and he feels ready again he says...his children are much older now.

But but.....the younger ones have had loads of issues as a result of losing their Mum...this is understandable.
He is out of work and struggling financially.....again this is not an issue to me.
There seems to be a lot of need still from his children....while I have no issue with this we do live quite a distance apart and am not sure we can have a relationship as I am tied to this area and he is tied to his.

We are going to meet for lunch in April but honestly don't know if this can go anywhere. He sounds like such a lovely man though and comes across well on email. It's less easy by phone as I am nervous and he is just....well....a typical bloke who doesn't know what to say on the phone lol. I need to meet him to see if this can go anywhere or not.

Would the issues put YOU off? I am a little bit reticent but it's due to the logistics rather than anything else.

SweetSeraphim Thu 21-Mar-13 19:22:39

Yes, they would really put me off I'm afraid.

There are so many men out there... why pick one with all that baggage. Dykwim?

OhWesternWind Thu 21-Mar-13 19:24:52

Jake, I think I'd go and meet him. There's a good chance there won't be any spark there when you actually meet, but if there is, you'll find a way round the logistics if the will is there on both sides.

Snapespeare Thu 21-Mar-13 19:37:38

velvet jackie collins hand hold (which involves a cocktail ring the size of a robins egg, so might be a bit uncomfortable>

KinNora Thu 21-Mar-13 19:41:43

I were to be really, really honest Jake then the initial bald facts would put me off but as OWW says, why not meet him anyway ? If you don't feel there's anything there between you then you don't have to see him again, and if there is some promise you can just see how things pan out.

Lubey yes, WFF's list could be the Dating Thread Commandments grin

ike1 Thu 21-Mar-13 19:48:32

Aw Mr Herbalist has just sent me a rose on POF...says he's thinking of me but not in a stalkerish kind of way. Both him and Bio guy seem really sweet...

JakeBullet Thu 21-Mar-13 19:50:40

I think my feeling is that he sounds absolutely lovely, supportive, kind and caring from his emails. He has obviously loved and cared for his family and I feel I need to give him a chance.

If nothing else I feel we could be friends.

lubeybooby Thu 21-Mar-13 19:51:33

KIn it's about time we started putting some collective wisdom into the OP of each thread maybe. That one definitely has to go in!

ike1 Thu 21-Mar-13 19:52:15

I could meet him this weekend but I just feel rubbish still sore throat, aches etc.

VelvetSpoon Thu 21-Mar-13 19:52:15

Snape that really made me grin.

It's on. Meeting him in an hour.

<tries to channel inner calm>

ike1 Thu 21-Mar-13 19:53:12

Coolio Velv.

JakeBullet Thu 21-Mar-13 19:53:23

The last time I went on POF I attracted a foot fetishist who wanted to know if I wriggled my toes as that really turned him on hmm

This bloke seems normal by comparison.

lubeybooby Thu 21-Mar-13 19:53:32

Jake I'd give it a chance but I'm funny like that. However tied to areas people are, things can change. Also like someone else said it is actually unlikely that there would be chemistry, so many first dates lack it even when everything else is great online, so be prepared for that having chatted to him for so long.

lubeybooby Thu 21-Mar-13 19:53:53

Velvet! here have some of my inner calm wine

lubeybooby Thu 21-Mar-13 19:54:53

I had better go get my face on and dressed etc... off in about half an hour here. Have a good night all especially the lovely velvet!

ike1 Thu 21-Mar-13 19:56:51

What's the chances that I could juggle them both??? You are managing to do that arent you Kin?

ike1 Thu 21-Mar-13 19:57:23

Enjoy Lubes!!

OhWesternWind Thu 21-Mar-13 19:57:53

Jake do it!

Ike do it!

Lubey you'll be doing it soon!

Velvet so much good luck to you. I am so hoping it all works out.

lubeybooby Thu 21-Mar-13 19:59:29

grin OWW

Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast & desperate to get to my PC for a velvet update!

ike1 Thu 21-Mar-13 20:00:47

I'd do it..... but I might have to cough up a glistening ball of phlegm first...

KinNora Thu 21-Mar-13 20:01:54

Ike you could dose yourself up and meet him ( is Bio Man someone else then ? I really am hopelessly off the pace at the moment )

Velvet go, kick ass. Maybe you should adopt a Jackie Collins' heroine alter ego - Cashmere La Brief ? Quartz Santatort ?

Lubey absolutely, I think that's a great idea.

Someone take this bar of Ritter mint chocolate off me before I scoff the lot.

OhWesternWind Thu 21-Mar-13 20:06:03

I'm someone's safety contact for a date tonight but she's not checked in as arranged, or answered my text, phone goes through to voicemail so I've left a message. Help, what should I do???

KinNora Thu 21-Mar-13 20:08:45

And I missed Lubey's FWB date, have a marvellous time.

Ike both Messrs Software and Showbiz live some distance away from me and I've not met Showbiz yet so I'm not really juggling them. I like to think of them as a complimentary pair - Mr Software provides earnest, nerdy sweetness, Mr Biz is a very amusing, bon viveur with his own martini recipe and a suspected high heel fetish

I think you should deffo go for the pair of them, have some fun

KinNora Thu 21-Mar-13 20:10:46

How long's it been OWW ? Sometimes if it's awkward to break off conversation and text, or answer the phone then I leave it a little while - I've been told off for it.

AndLibbyMakesThree Thu 21-Mar-13 20:12:06

OWW, did you talk about what you'd do if you couldn't get hold of her?

OhWesternWind Thu 21-Mar-13 20:12:34

Over an hour late ... She said she'd text when she arrived and when she left. Hoping she's just not heard her phone.

OhWesternWind Thu 21-Mar-13 20:13:45

I asked her what she wanted me to do, but she didn't get back to me Going out myself now!

48howdidthathappen Thu 21-Mar-13 20:17:45

OWW Not alot you can do really.

Have a fab time Lubey

Velvet Really hope you sort thing out with C smile

ike1 Thu 21-Mar-13 20:24:38

Do you know where she has gone OWW?

OhWesternWind Thu 21-Mar-13 20:25:37

Yes I know where she is

KinNora Thu 21-Mar-13 20:26:05

Chances are she'll be fine OWW although it is a bit worrying.

Bant Thu 21-Mar-13 20:26:24

oww I dunno. Call her home line and speak to the babysitter if she has one? Then find out if she said where she's going to and call the place to ask if she's there?

I've never been a safety call. I think there should be rules agreed

48howdidthathappen Thu 21-Mar-13 20:28:17

My son is heading to the outback as a cattle station cook. Job counts for his 2nd year visa. Very proud of my boy smile

Snapespeare Thu 21-Mar-13 20:32:49

velvet don't take any shit. Would a young jackie Collins take any shit? No! She'd pat down her leopard print chemise, waft around in a cloud of Chanel and recognise her worth. Toss that bouffant, be surprised by the awesomeness of your cleavage only if it is pointed out and regard your eyelashes as butterfly wings.

You are awesome.

Bant Thu 21-Mar-13 20:33:42

(seconds Snape)

ike1 Thu 21-Mar-13 20:47:57

Snape...what do you think of Zombie Boy? God he is pretty hot! I never thought I would say that about someone in a full suit and zombie face tats..

ike1 Thu 21-Mar-13 20:49:35

His tatooist is incredibly skillful

Snapespeare Thu 21-Mar-13 20:56:27

Zombie boy is quite hot, but I have recently started to appreciate the benefits of the non-tattooed from the POV that nameless has none and he is one of the very few people I have ever met who I think could not be improved by tattoos he'd be pretty with or without though.

For someone with extensive tattoos, I'm not overly fond of hands/face/can't be covered tattoos. I like the idea of things being intimate and not able to be seen by others..

ike1 Thu 21-Mar-13 21:00:45

Totally with you there Snape....but this is one of the really weird occasions where the facial tattoos seems to enhance his beauty somehow...very strange indeed. Unlike that poor cow Lesya whose face has been obliterated by that hideous tatoo across her face.

Movingforward123 Thu 21-Mar-13 21:24:38

Hey everyone! I agree with you all he is an idiot. And I am better off without him, he did seem sweet and I think I'm starting to see the bigger picture about people now, I used to think guys that did things like that were complete pricks! But with him I think it's that h wants someone to want him ! I think maybe I was too relaxed for him.

Bant - no way would I tell my brother he would kill him! Considering we slept together a few times!

Anyway I have even more news to report, you are not going to believe this but apparently he and his gf are trying for a baby! Wtf!!! shock

My brother was at his house over the last few days and was chatting to his mate about about waiting till he was around 30 and having children then! His friend agree that's a good time etc. and then the gf said what? But we are trying for a baby!y brother said his mate tried to style it out and make out like hes not trying for a baby! Wow glad I'm not involved in that!

Movingforward123 Thu 21-Mar-13 21:28:38

I know that I probably shouldn't and I'm sure you will all talk me out of it, but I really feel like texting him and saying:

Hi, how's things? Long time no speak, I hear congratulations is in order!

Or above with this on the end:

Good luck for you and your girlfriend with trying to conceive a baby smile

Bant Thu 21-Mar-13 21:30:30

Close escape then, moving

I'm still grinning. MedStudent replied and said she was too busy for a relationship anyway but would like to stay friends cos I'm interesting. Which is nice.

Buffy wants to see me again, which is nicer.

I am going to have a pizza. I haven't cooked a proper meal for myself here yet. Not tonight, either.

KinNora Thu 21-Mar-13 21:31:24

Nah Moving leave them to it, it'll all degenerate into a hideous mess before long anyway.

Bant Thu 21-Mar-13 21:33:55

moving it's probably not worth a response. He'll get defensive, angry, lash out, make things miserable.

You should feel sorry for the girlfriend if anything. Or just rise above it and find someone worth your attention. He obviously isn't.

ike1 Thu 21-Mar-13 21:50:22

Yes...if you send that message, moving, you run the risk of sounding jealous!!

Snapespeare Thu 21-Mar-13 22:10:00

velv sending the best thoughts and suggesting a roll-call of ultimate loveliness. We are in your corner. :-)

KinNora Thu 21-Mar-13 22:18:23

Seconded ^

48howdidthathappen Thu 21-Mar-13 22:34:54

Count me in snape

I now have two coffee dates this weekend. Software what-day-is-it man on Saturday afternoon (sounded genuinely contrite) and gsm2 man Sunday lunchtime browsing a market.

Moving, you know, he will know you know but not how much and that's enough.

Velvet, what the others said

Bant I like Buffy, whether it's short and sweet or long term lurve it's all good smile

ike1 Thu 21-Mar-13 22:38:10

Market browsing sounds like a nice idea Jule!

Yes he suggested it, I think I might like gsm2 he sounds interesting, hope so.

Since I dropped down to 48 on my okc profile I'm getting so much more interest hmm. Are you going to meet both of your men Ike?

KirstyWirsty Thu 21-Mar-13 23:04:49

Juliette .. What age are you?? I didn't think you were anywhere near 48 from your profile???

48 plus 7 grin

ike1 Thu 21-Mar-13 23:17:47

I hope so Jules potentially I could meet Mr Herbalist on the wkend but I look awful at the mo due to illness so wld rather not, and Mr Eco/bio wants to meet up too but no date set yet. They both seem lovely and polite....very refreshing ...seem to really want to know about me too...

Were these from the IE profile Ike?

Hi all. I'm back. And I just want to say 'Grrrrrrrr' I'm giving up on men! Bah!
As you were smile

MirandaWest Thu 21-Mar-13 23:25:59

Tell us more <lives vicariously>

ike1 Thu 21-Mar-13 23:27:12

Jule Mr Eco/Bio is IE, Mr Herbalist is 'normal' (if there is such a thing) POF. Going well then Dolly?

Men can be such dicks.

I don't know. It's a weird time of year for me. This time last year I was a week overdue with DD2 and my husband was being awful to me. I am remembering a lot of things that he did around the birth and early weeks of DD2's life and it's making me sad and angry. And I don't want to be sad and angry.

To top it off, have been texting back and forth with a lovely sounding man for 2 weeks with a date scheduled for next Tuesday. Have been trying not to get too excited about it as had a few awful dates so was keeping calm. We then spent an hour on the phone Tuesday night and got on really well. Started to allow myself some excitement. Texts always been one or two a day, every day. Slow but in contact each day. I now haven't heard from him since yesterday afternoon. And I have committed the cardinal sin and double texted blush
OMG as i type I just got a text from him! Haha! I'll report back

Ok he's forgiven wink says he's sorry for slow response but been so busy, etc etc. I'm not replying for at least 12 hours ignore the fact I'll be asleep for 7.5 hours

ike1 Thu 21-Mar-13 23:37:34

ok!

ike1 Thu 21-Mar-13 23:38:30

Cooll! Let us know how the date goes Dolly!x

<taps foot waiting on Velvet and 48 and hope Lubey is dirty stop out>

VelvetSpoon Thu 21-Mar-13 23:51:49

So I'm back.

He's still lovely. He honestly - and I believe him - thinks I'm lovely.

BUT (and here's the thing I have long suspected)

He is shit scared of a relationship, with anyone. Of it all going wrong.

He said as happy as liking me, and knowing I like him, makes him, it also scares him immensely. Because it involves feelings, and the risk of it all going wrong.

and?

MirandaWest Thu 21-Mar-13 23:56:00

Am glad you're back Velvet and that Cuthbert is lovely smile

Being scared of a relationship is something that lots of people are scared of. What happened in previous relationships he has been in? And more importantly what do you think about him saying that?

Movingforward123 Fri 22-Mar-13 00:02:12

Yes I believe you are all right I'm not going to message him! But I do deep
Like I want to!

Bant - your right he doesn't deserve my time, and I find that I only get involved with the ones that don't deserve me and want to treat me badly mainly because they have issues!

Why can't I ever just go for the nice guy?

VelvetSpoon Fri 22-Mar-13 00:07:16

And I don't know, really. I don't want to stop seeing him. He wants to keep seeing me. We are going to try and see each other more often, even if just for a few hours, whenever we can. Hopefully one day over Easter, which will be nice.

Miranda, he's has 3 relationships. No 1 started when he was at school, married young, had DC, she was unfaithful to him several times, and eventually went off with someone else.

He then started relationship 2 very quickly after that break up, moved in with her practically straight away, bought a house. More DC. She was then v unhappy, I think they had counselling, it didn't work.

He left her for relationship 3, again moved in with her almost immediately. After several years she had an affair with someone v well off (if not a millionaire close to it) and kicked him out, that was almost a year ago.

From stuff he said about it tonight, I think he had a breakdown, or was v close to it. He said he couldn't function at work, left his job, withdrew from friends.

This last few months is the only time pretty much he's been single in his life. I think he fears - not unreasonably - repeating past mistakes.

Velvet well at least he has opened up, been honest and you have moe idea about what is going on. Are you content with this as it is, it seems he would benefit from some counselling if he is going to be able to move forward.

VelvetSpoon Fri 22-Mar-13 00:46:54

I think for now I'm content with it. I may of course change my mind in a few weeks, but for now I'm ok. I did suspect he was scared of getting involved, so it's confirmed that. And I do understand it, because I feel similarly, but for very different reasons - a relationship has been my holy grail for what seems like forever, to think that (if he was ready) this could possibly be one is terrifying. And if I wasnt single what would I have to moan about?!

Flipper924 Fri 22-Mar-13 07:36:38

I'm really pleased you're happy with the outcome of your chat, Velvet, and well done for having it. I can entirely see why C would be nervous.

It strikes me that he could do with being a bit more independent before he gets into another serious relationship, if he's practically bounced from woman to woman, straight out of his parents' home when he was younger. He seems to realise that he's made bad desicions, but If I were you, I'd want to know that he was aware of why he made those decisions, and what he's doing about that, before I committed any further to him. In the meantime, as long as you're both taking things slowly, there's nothing to stop you building a more stable relationship with him.

Moving, I agree with others, your brother's friend is a little twerp.

Good morning to everyone else. I've been too tired to engage in any dating type activity this week.

KinNora Fri 22-Mar-13 08:10:39

Good morning Flipper and everyone else of course.

I need a slap with the wet fish, Mr Showbiz's contact has been less frequent this week, for some bizarre reason I'm allowing this to upset me, despite him being far from my ideal beardy, not tall enough, 11 years older I need to get a chuffing grip.

KinNora Fri 22-Mar-13 08:11:50

Flipper 'twerp' is an excellent word for that category of knobber.

lubeybooby Fri 22-Mar-13 08:25:22

Back! Great time had as always with #1fwb and the curry was gorgeous. Ooof my head though... too much wine!

Anyway morning all grin

Velvet, so glad you got to talk to him and that you are happy enough with the outcome for now.

Lubey grin

Kin have an anchovy. Can I ask how old he is, just trying to benchmark if my idea of what to expect is within 'normal' range. The beardy has set me off iyswim.

WarmFuzzyFun Fri 22-Mar-13 08:41:39

Hi All,

Sorry to post and run, but pushed for time. I am off for the weekend to the coast, with some long time girl friends. Haven't packed yet, and my dresses are proving difficult to decide between. (Would have liked to done a 'lubey' and arrange a young man to warm my bed, but no where near as organised as I'd need to be to do that)

Have cooked 3 meals, and kids' dad is staying for the weekend, (he is a good guy), clothes strewn all over my bedroom, house an absolute bombsite. My DD said 'you know there will be a deer in the kitchen when you get back?!' Yup that bad.

No doubt I'll have about 20 pages to read on my return, try your best people to keep out of trouble, the nest of vipers are at the ready though if needs be! (WFF squeezes into superhero lycra suit, 'I really must lose my winter weight!')

KinNora, and OWW thanks

I am all of a kerfuffle confusedsmile

<waves and blows kisses> WFF is very un MNtyblush
WFF x

KinNora Fri 22-Mar-13 08:45:52

He's 57 Juliette and the 'too old' should more accurately be' a larger age gap than I've experienced in the past'.

I'm teetering on the edge of the whole precipice of 'no-one will ever want/love/shag me' thing again. Silly. Fetch a carp, stat !

Kin s'right I haven't yet managed to hit 57 which is why I'm asking, trying to work out if I'm missing a trick here and there's a secret place where they have found eyebrow grooming.

lubeybooby Fri 22-Mar-13 09:02:47

<arrives with emergency crash carp for Kin>

Clear!

lubeybooby Fri 22-Mar-13 09:03:52

WFF have a lovely time! I laughed at the deer in the kitchen and doing 'a lubey' grin

KirstyWirsty Fri 22-Mar-13 09:12:00

Juliette no way!!!! I had you as my age or younger .. What's your secret?

KirstyWirsty Fri 22-Mar-13 09:15:24

WFF have a fantastic time x

ike1 Fri 22-Mar-13 09:27:05

Boot the Bearded wonder up the arse and get some sexy messages on the boil Kin....isn't he gonna be the lucky recipient of a booty call soon??? I refuse to believe I am 42 ..I have a portait in my attic. WFF have fun m'dear!

ike1 Fri 22-Mar-13 09:27:19

portrait

ike1 Fri 22-Mar-13 09:32:33

....and infact my POF profile PROVES that I am NOT 42....38 infact.

48howdidthathappen Fri 22-Mar-13 10:15:26

Velvet Happy that you are happy smile

Kin I think we can call be prone to over thinking text frequency. Bloody mobiles are a ball and chain. I tend to think 'fuck em' grin

ike and Juliette hope at least one of yours turns out good shaggable

Nothing from Mr OZ. Maybe Jet lag <shrugs> Mr R&R has upped his texting, so not as cool as he claims.

48howdidthathappen Fri 22-Mar-13 10:18:52

Have a great weekend WFF envy

ScumbagCollegeDropout Fri 22-Mar-13 10:19:09

Hi all!

Probably don't remember me but I posted a couple of times about 20 threads ago.

So anyway, I have actually started a relationship with the bloke I first met off of ID. I met him for drinks and then kinda drew back contact as he (at the time) reminded me of an old friend of mine whowas a fuckwit.

But. I whilst a bit tipsy just after new year I replied to a nice 'Hi how are you?' message on FB with my phone number (as I have moved away from FB).

Well, my initial impression was way, way off and he is so funny, ridiculously smart and really sweet. We have so many 'Me too!' conversations. Very similar sense of humour, which is a big plus for a weirdo like me smile

We just hit it off whilst texting for a while. Met up again nearly 2 months ago and haven't looked back. I guess we are at a similar stage as Snape and Nameless (so awesome for you Snape BTW). He makes me grin like a loon.

Here's the thing though. Is it okay to wantto keep him to myself? As in not want to introduce the children for a long, long time. Same with living together (if it comes to that). I am enjoying my own space far too much. I really can't see me living with anyone for quite a few years yet.

I know it's early days. But can't help thinking about this stuff blush

Bant Buffy is awesome!

48 Mr R&R bless, I wouldn't be cool either but at least he is putting up a good show grin

Yes, I'm well overdue for a good seeing to.

ike1 Fri 22-Mar-13 10:42:27

Yeah 48 I think you will find that is called cock blocking heh heh...

Bant Fri 22-Mar-13 10:59:56

Hi Scumbag ( I love starting off a post like that smile

me and my ex agreed a rule that we wouldn't introduce the DC to anyone new until we'd been seeing them for at least 6 months, but it's horses for courses. I don't think it's selfish at all to not want to introduce him to them, it's nice to have a grown up relationship all to yourself without having to fit it round a ready-made family. That said, if they knew he existed it might make it easier to see him if you'd be okay with him staying over at yours when the DC are there.

Introducing him to the DC and having him move in are very different things.

and thanks for the Buffy comment. Although she hasn't mailed since yesterday morning, and we're potentially supposed to meet up tonight.. humph.

48howdidthathappen Fri 22-Mar-13 11:13:20

I am loving cock blocking Ike grin

MirandaWest Fri 22-Mar-13 11:16:27

I didn't introduce Mr Nice to the DC until after we'd been seeing each other 6 months. Had told the DC about his existence before then. I think it depends on how old the DC are a bit but definitely nothing the matter with waiting for a while. Have been going out with Mr Nice 11 months now shock and the DC have met him a number of times but he's never stayed the night when they're here. Living together is something on a distant agenda in our case - hope it will happen one day tbh but I'm not in a desperate hurry.

OhWesternWind Fri 22-Mar-13 11:19:58

Juliette looks like it's all happening for you now on the dating front. How crap though that it looks like people are so hung up on age.

Velvet well I am glad you've had a talk with him. Like other people have said, many of us are scared/wary about going into another relationship and I think it becomes more difficult as we get older. If he's saying he's going to see more of you, then that is fine - there's nothing wrong with being scared and trying to overcome that. I've been there (am still there a bit), so is LM. I think it's really very common.

Kin of course someone will love you, want you, shag you and more!! You are brilliant and any man would be lucky to have you.

WFF hope you have a wonderful weekend. Just pack everything!

Bant all the Buffy stuff is great. Long may it continue.

Scumbag it's really early days yet, plenty of time to think about children/moving in in the future. My children knew I had a boyfriend for a couple of months before they actually met him, made things a bit easier. I have no idea if I'll ever want to live with anyone ever again, but that's something I can think about if and when the opportunity ever comes up. Just go with it and enjoy it - it sounds wonderful.

Talking of wonderful, am totally loved up with LM. Have done no serious talking at all, too busy with other stuff. I have absolutely no idea what it is about him but blooming heck he does something great to me. I probably get on better with him than anyone I can think of. Got it bad, arse. Hoping we can see each other on Sunday. Fingers crossed . . .

MirandaWest Fri 22-Mar-13 11:26:41

OWW am glad you had a good night winkgrin

48howdidthathappen Fri 22-Mar-13 12:00:39

OWW Loved up is the best feeling smile

I am seeing Mr R&R Monday. We both have a busy weekend. I am chaffing at the bit. 10 days is hard!

KirstyWirsty Fri 22-Mar-13 12:33:27

so what happened with Mr Oz 48?

I am getting zero interest on ok cupid .. apart from the one guy who I am meeting on Sunday .. is it my age? (I was honest about mine)

KirstyWirsty Fri 22-Mar-13 12:36:02

oops - missed your update 48 .. I know now ...

48howdidthathappen Fri 22-Mar-13 12:39:26

Nothing as yet Kirsty Strange as he approached my sister, she didn't recognise him. Oh well.

I was honest about my age too, when ODing.

I haven't had a date for over a month hmm. They've all been a bit slow, being Guardian men an'al.
Ooh, that looks wrong but possibly correct.

Talking to a couple of others, does anyone else get bored with mailing?

Kirsty Okc is very different from pod, far fewer chancers or one liners, most are genuinely interested and send a proper reply. Not found any married either or hidden perves as the kinky stuff is usually already on the profiles.

mercury7 Fri 22-Mar-13 12:56:14

Juliette, yes I find all the 'chatting' via e-mail and messaging as boring as hell, I have no appetite for engaging with any of the men on dating sites unless I'm pretty sure I'll fancy them if I meet them.

Thats why I suggest skype pretty early on...even that can be tiresome...I almost always find the conversation hard work

Bant Fri 22-Mar-13 12:59:07

Juliette - if I get bored with mailing someone, I generally don't bother meeting them in person. Whilst someone can be far funnier by text and email than they are in person (everyone has more time to think up witty one liners behind a keyboard) I don't think I've met many people who are far better in real life but come across as boring via mail. Some, but not many.

Buffy mailed me back, we're meeting tonight. I withdraw my earlier 'humph'

She's also introducing me to a couple of her friends across from the US. Oh the pressure of being witty and charming in front of several people at once.

I got to thinking about kissing. Buffy is a good kisser. The Artist was, and the Vanishing Historian was (although there wasn't a huge amount of that before she vanished).

Safrican wasn't. MedStudent was too bitey. My ExW was a really bad kisser, and I never told her, which I suppose I should have done, gently, in the early days.

So is it just that there are styles people are comfortable with, so a bad kisser for me might be a good kisser to someone else? Or is it just that some people are 'good' and some aren't?

VelvetSpoon Fri 22-Mar-13 13:01:08

Kirsty, I never got anywhere with okc, a handful of messages none of which were worth replying to!

Western glad you had a great evening (and you too lubey)

Hello and happy friday to everyone.

Am still feeling happy re C and haven't stopped smiling, probably more because I actually for once manned up and attempted a grown up conversation. I'm maybe not as happy as I would be if he'd said this was a relationship, or he wanted to be my boyfriend or whatever, but for now knowing he likes me very much and wants to keep seeing me will do. Hopefully in time it will become more. He said that liking me, and now knowing how much I like him, is lovely but terrifying at the same time. So, we'll see smile

VelvetSpoon Fri 22-Mar-13 13:07:14

There are definitely different kissing styles - found this out years ago kissing a friends Ex (who she said was a great kisser). I thought he was terrible.

I bit C last night, slightly harder than I intended to blush. He didn't mind too much...I said it was actually his fault because I hadn't seen him for weeks so was now all over excited grin

Scrazy Fri 22-Mar-13 13:08:34

Hello, I've been told I am a very good kisser by lots of men blush. I don't like bad kissers.

mercury7 Fri 22-Mar-13 13:08:45

re kissing, I dont know if it's a case of incompatible styles, or just being bad or good at it, I think some people are more into kissing than others.

It might be in part do do with 'chemistry' in that saliva varies according to a persons biochemistry, so kissing one person might feel more right because of that.

In my experience good kissing doesnt always lead to good fu(king.

I think I'm getting weary. Perfectly nice corporate type 'liked' me on gsm, I did same and then I get fed up of waiting so mail him. Couple more days and he's replied telling me he is a great conversationalist and will make me laugh blah, then hacks me off by asking one of those standard 'and what makes you passionate Juliette?' questions. I feel like saying 'its on my profile you twat'. Just feels condescending but he's a newbie so... It's me isn't it, someone else would be enthralled confused

ChooChooLaverne Fri 22-Mar-13 13:11:42

I can't keep up with you lot - have missed about 2 threads I think, though have tried to read up.

Bant I've been thinking about kissing a lot too as have been seeing lovely man for a few weeks who is the best kisser I've ever come across. I could easily spend hours kissing him - it's a revelation. My ex was a terrible kisser but I think he just wasn't interested. Maybe it wasn't so much that we weren't compatible, it just held no interest for him.

Velvet I'm really pleased for you that you managed to get C to speak about what's going on. Did you find out anything about the FB woman? I really hope it works out for you.

Waves at everyone else and goes back to lurking.

48howdidthathappen Fri 22-Mar-13 13:13:13

Oh dear Juliette I would of replied 'A man that has read my profile'.

Sorry Bant kissing, some people just have no passion, some have no idea how to respond to the others cues, stabby, sloppy, mouth like a goldfish, or washing machine tongue are all no nos for me. I've been blown away by a handful of great kisses, has always meant good sexual chemistry.

48howdidthathappen Fri 22-Mar-13 13:20:00

I love great kissing. Mr R&R is a fab kisser. We do a lot of it. I knew the first time we kissed I had to have him. There are several types I really dislike. Wet and sloppy. Too soft and wishy washy.

48 oh yessss. I just know he's going to be patronizing, must give him a chance very rarely do these men see my lighter side because they do the humor, then they mistake my wtf face for 'do carry on talking about yourself'.

Snapespeare Fri 22-Mar-13 13:31:30

velvet goodoh for the chat. glad it went well. smile

WFF hope you have a fab weekend! it's bloody freezing - hopetheres lots of nice warm pubs

bant hope you have a nice evening with Buffy.

scumbag it's OK to think about these things. it's not OK to think about them too much. very early days smile i also think it would be difficult for me to share a living space with someone and like the idea of possibly thinking about it when Dcs have flown nest - which hopefully will be reasonably soon... I don't want any of that 35 years old and still at home mullarkey.

CRASH CARP! hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah!! grin

i wasn't too sure about kissing nameless the first time - now i think it's amazing. Think it was an acclimatisation issue.

lulubellaboozle Fri 22-Mar-13 13:34:57

OWW so pleased you had a great night yesterday, yay for LM!

Velvet you too, good news that you have a smile on your face and have made positive steps with Cuthbert, seeing more of each other, even if it is just for a few hours will help move things forward

I love kissing and it is really important to me, good kissing has always led to good fucking for me, but then a bad kisser never got beyond the kissing stage, so maybe that was self fulfilling confused

I have just had a very entertaining morning, I have a big circle of gay male friends and have just been having coffee with a couple of them. We got into a debate about men letting themselves go, once they are in their mid forties and I maintained that gay men had better pickings in that age range because they look after themselves more and take more pride in their appearance. They totally dispelled that myth by taking me through a gay dating website. Full of spuds, bathroom pics, men claiming to be 40 but looking at least mid fifties and a very off putting cock shot from a 60 year old man! The grass aint greener, guys and gals

lulubellaboozle Fri 22-Mar-13 13:38:55

no fish pics though - maybe gay men don't define themselves by the size of their carp confused

ike1 Fri 22-Mar-13 14:52:35

Oh God no to the washing machine tongue bleugh, not keen on biting either ...slow sensual with just the right amount of urgency...

ike1 Fri 22-Mar-13 14:53:32

Slow but urgent...no mixed singles there then guys ...get it riiiiiight!

Bant Fri 22-Mar-13 15:01:27

I think my pet hate is being attacked by an eel. Anyone can be a bit slobbery when drunk, although it's not great. Bitey is a bit off too, but being stabbed to death by a pickled gherkin is just horrible.

Yeah, I really should have told the ex that..

KinNora Fri 22-Mar-13 15:01:49

Bad kissers - first boyfriend, like being assaulted by a giant flobbery eel, exh-didn't like kissing, had all the sensuality of a Roy 'Chubby' Brown gig, best kisser ever- that ginormous turd, Spud.

I think many people equate accomplished kissing with writhing tongue exchange whereas I've always prefered a more sensual, responsive approach, and any man who kisses up the back of my neck is onto a sure thing indeed.

ike1 Fri 22-Mar-13 15:06:34

yeah TR was quite good nice soft sensuous lips...oh well...

KirstyWirsty Fri 22-Mar-13 15:27:08

Mr Cheeky was a lovely kisser <sigh> .. I'm with you on the neck and shoulder kissing Nora

48howdidthathappen Fri 22-Mar-13 15:27:12

I like a bit of tongue action. When done correctly wink

Scrazy Fri 22-Mar-13 15:31:30

Tongues are fine, at just the right time.

MirandaWest Fri 22-Mar-13 16:04:27

I like a bit of tongue smile

Am feeling just a tad frustrated at the moment - no sex for 12 days so far and have to wait another 6 days for some shock. A few years ago I wasn't having any sex at all and didn't miss it. Think it's a case of use it or lose it for me.

It is so cold here <brrr>

OhWesternWind Fri 22-Mar-13 16:25:57

It's freezing here too! Snuggled up with ds under a blanket as he is always warm. Dd is always a bit chilly so she's my summer snuggle.

I went for years (literally) with no sex whilst I was with my ex and after we split up and like you Miranda I didn't really miss it, just got used to it. Now I'm back into it I think I could happily do it every day if I had the chance! Love kissing too and just sitting holding hands or with our legs touching or whatever.

Best thing about last night was being in bed with LM afterwards, both happy, dozing, lying on his shoulder with our arms and legs wrapped round each other, lovely and warm listening to the horrible weather outside. Perfect. Then the poor bugger had to get up and go home sad, don't have him stopping all night when the children are here. I am daft about this blooming man.

MirandaWest Fri 22-Mar-13 16:37:40

Mr Nice hasn't ever stayed here when children are here yet. I haven't stayed with him when his DS is there either (he did ask him but his DS said "absolutely not" or something like that as it felt a but too weird to him. He will be going to university in the autumn though.

As Mr nice is hoping to come and stay with us on holiday for a couple of nights I am hoping he may sleep here at some point when children are here. There is a greater distance between rooms in the holiday cottage though (have been there before) grin

Ahhhhhh I've just counted. It's six months for me. Six MONTHS.

Bant it may not have made any difference if you had said something to exW. It hasn't when I've tried with various people, some people just have not sensuality about them at all, I used to feel like one of them though he was polishing the car and may have actually used that term in frustration in mitigation it was 5 long years when he was attempting foreplay.

typo city more than usual with with me today blush

Movingforward123 Fri 22-Mar-13 17:07:22

I havnt had any sex for about 5 weeks hmm since I hurt my leg! And I really want some! My options are:

1) exp who wAs about to propose to me! Has offered to take me and dd on Holliday! And will pay for couples counselling if I will go confused

2) fwb who I havnt slept with since june as he was pissing me off and withholding sex to piss me off and play games! Who has just got engaged and who still is trying to meet me for sex.

And that's it!

Also mrworkaholic who I have blocked in whatsapp and Facebook has also text me so I guess you could say he wants some action too!

That is all my options right now and I can't go out to meet someone new as I can't walk confusedconfusedconfused

Crap!! How crap!!!

Movingforward123 Fri 22-Mar-13 17:16:06

Does anyone know if u can block people on iMessage?

MirandaWest Fri 22-Mar-13 17:23:37

Don't think you can.....

Flipper924 Fri 22-Mar-13 17:55:29

Stopping by for a Friday evening check in.

Emergency crash carp is toooo funny. I've scared the dog!

There's lots of lovely dating going on at the moment, I like this.

I'm off out tonight to a 50th birthday meal at a dancing-on-tables place, so will probably not be pulling then. Although a lovely friend said (when talking about ages) he thought I'd have no problem pulling a man in his mid-20s, and that said man would be the one who'd done well! I have a massive crush on this friend.

lubeybooby Fri 22-Mar-13 18:03:48

Evening all

Quiet night in for me tonight, and probably the next few nights, although DD is away now, just left to go stay with her bf for a few days! I have too much work and stuff to be getting on with so haven't organised anything fun for my free time. Boo, hiss... but it's gotta be done.

I do have wine though and plenty of it!

Flipper... oooh at that nice comment... pounce! Pounce!

OhWesternWind Fri 22-Mar-13 18:15:15

For all of you Interested in the last dating someone with depression thread, there's another one called "Three choices" which may be worth a look and a post as a lot of the advice is heavily biased (again).

Night in for me with my old mate rum - need a stiff one (fnar) as I'm recovering from being locked in my bedroom for half an hour due to a faulty door handle. Scary!

Yep, Flipper, go get him!!!

Moving when will you be up and about again? Can't be too much longer I hope.

Have had a good, frank chat with my mum today which ended in us both hugging and saying we love each other. Can't remember the last time we did that. I seem to be getting somewhat soppy in my old age.

MirandaWest Fri 22-Mar-13 18:15:23

Pizza and curry here. Then need DC to sort out stuff for staying with XH tomorrow and Sunday nights. Due to various things they haven't stayed there since last Thursday. Am intending to do a 5k park run tomorrow morning at 9 (unless it snows) which is a little keen I think. And then go and mystery shop in Whitby (got nice fee as no one else wants to do it). Sunday is cleaning and tidying as my mum and dad are coming on Monday...

Hi everyone, just had a quick read through and a catch up- sounds like there's lots of you loved up now! Things are still very quiet here. No dates since Christmas time, no sex since January, and before that A YEAR, not even a bloke to text. Fed up now. Just bulk messaged a load of people who are maybes on POF, hopefully I'll get something back! And I'm having a night out next week, being doing some work in my house so been too skint for a social life for a couple of months. Bank holiday next weekend, so hopefully lots of hotties about.

MirandaWest Fri 22-Mar-13 18:20:22

OWW really glad you and your mum had a good chat and hug smile

Had hair cut rather than its usual trim today and had a fringe put in. Both children say I look "wrong". Am hoping Mr Nice doesn't share their sentiments. Should i tell him before I see him on Tuesday?

We have pizza here tonight to, I made a massive batch of dough the other day which we seem to be living off. I can't believe how much I save when I do that, and it stops the moaning about literally NOTHING in this HOUSE! grin

Flipper924 Fri 22-Mar-13 18:33:04

Ah, Lubey and OWW, I would, I sooo woould, and I suspect the crush is mutual, but alas he is married.

OWW, that does sound scary. I hate being locked in anywhere.

Miranda, I think the done thing is to forewarn, but I have a bizarre issue about having anyone comment on how I should have my hair.

Right, time to get make up on.

Enjoy your Friday nights, everyone.

Scrazy Fri 22-Mar-13 18:33:57

Wouldn't want to be out tonight it's blowing a blizzard. DD is here so I'm not lonely.

Plenty of wine too. Cheers everyone, happy weekend and stay warm. Have fun you lucky daters. 3 months for me, time I moved on and got out there, hopefully next weekend.

lubeybooby Fri 22-Mar-13 18:41:32

Oh no flipper! Bloody typical. Here have some wine

OWW awww at you and your mum, glad you were able to talk

Scrazy snowing here too, ugh.

BreakOutTheKaraoke good luck with your messages!

Miranda DS always did hate it if I changed my hair so I'm sure it looks fine. Mr Nice will just be pleased to see you smile. Good luck with your run tomorrow.

MirandaWest Fri 22-Mar-13 18:49:27

I have been procrastinating for months about the fringe and I like it so DC can lump it grin.

No snow here yet......

VelvetSpoon Fri 22-Mar-13 18:51:42

Quiet night in here too, or it will be when I get home from work. DSs are at the evil Exs til sunday.

Western, so pleased that things are better with you and your mum.

You saying about hugging her made me think of my mum, and then (of course because he is uppermost in my mind at the moment!) what she would think of C. Amd I know she'd say to do whatever makes me happy, could almost hear her saying it. Made me a bit teary. Miss her ever so much sometimes.

KinNora Fri 22-Mar-13 19:02:55

9 months, 1 week and 2 days. Not that I'm counting.

OhWesternWind Fri 22-Mar-13 19:46:57

Oh Velvet you must miss her an awful lot. But her advice is good smile. Hope you're still feeling happy about C. I think this is a pretty good foundation to build on and the rest will come with time.

Movingforward123 Fri 22-Mar-13 20:28:10

I've just come online to announce that if I don't get any action soon I'm going to die, it's making me so moody hmm

48howdidthathappen Fri 22-Mar-13 20:59:01

OWW you and your mum. I am all smiley for you smile

Kin You sound like you are about to pop grin

Hava a fab night Flipper

I shall not complain about 10 days ever again blush

KinNora Fri 22-Mar-13 21:22:59

Not quite 48, clearly my shitey sexless marriage served some purpose, as a barren period of 9 months is a mere stroll around the park in comparison.

Velvet fortunately my mum is still around but I can imagine the pain of those times when you miss a parent, it is lovely though that you know that she would always advise you to do what makes you happy, I hope Cuthbert does and will get his arse into gear to make you happier still.

OWW very pleased for you both with LM and your mum.

Hope Flipper and Bant and anyone else out on the razz is having a splendid time and that those of us staying in are drinking booze and eating cake in front of roaring log fires.

Movingforward123 Fri 22-Mar-13 21:32:55

Well exp is coming over and going to get a pizza and bringing wine confused

Luckily it's the time of the month so im a lot less likely to pounce on him after a couple of glasses!!!

I'm getting in a tricky situation with exp being around all the times like it but know its probably not a good idea!

OhWesternWind Fri 22-Mar-13 21:36:18

Staying in is a good thing tonight. It's a howling blizzard out there. I have alcohol, chocolate, naice crisps and a fleecy blanket that's currently been annexed by two cats. Got a good weekend ahead then thrice short week at work. Life is good.

VelvetSpoon Fri 22-Mar-13 22:05:59

Western and Kin thank you. My mum was my best friend, and a truly lovely person. I never had a secret I couldn't tell her, or a problem she couldn't help me solve. Think I got upset as am a bit tired (ongoing lack of sleep/insomnia), and over-emotional (hoping the latter may be hormonal, bloody period is now almost 2 weeks late and still no sign hmm) last few days have been a bit of a rollercoaster both workwise and personally and this seems like the downturn from my previous euphoria...

Ok, so I won't be putting 'in a relationship' on my FB for the foreseeable, this is still very much just dating BUT I'm hopeful that if we keep seeing each other when we can, at some point C might feel less scared, and more ready. I might be making a huge mistake but I do think it's worth a try.

OhWesternWind Fri 22-Mar-13 22:14:28

I don't think you're making a mistake at all Velvet. You've made huge strides forward by having that conversation last night, and I think that both of you being honest about your feelings can only be a good thing. The being scared about relationships is, I think, incredibly common in our age group when we have at least one failed significant relationship behind us, probably more, and it's only natural to worry about being hurt again. It's one of those things that can only be helped by just going for it, spending time together and learning to trust each other. You're off on the right track now and who knows what might happen now you've cleared some of the obstacles out of the way smile

KinNora Fri 22-Mar-13 22:20:36

What lovely things to be able to say about your mum Velvet, she sounds like a wonderful woman.

As for making a mistake about Cuthbert, all you can do is to try - its being brave and resilient and giving him a chance, it may just pay off.

KinNora Fri 22-Mar-13 22:22:12

Obviously OWW just did a far better job of saying exactly what I meant...

Scrazy Fri 22-Mar-13 22:25:11

Velvet you need to go what you feel is right. I am a firm believer in this and you alone will decide what feels right for you. Hope it goes the way you want it to.

Velvet it's so lovely the way you talk about your Mum and the way she looked out for you. She sounds like a very special woman.

You like C, he likes you and you've talked about things now. I really hope it all works out somehow, you're giving it a go and and it might be slow but it should be all good.

VelvetSpoon Fri 22-Mar-13 22:43:35

She was amazing in so many ways Kin, my dad too. I am pretty ordinary compared to the two of them!

Thank you all for being so kind about C. I hope it's not a mistake but think well, if it is, I've made many much worse ones in the past. I do think it's worth a try.

And if it all goes pear shaped as it might well, the v senior manager at work is being increasingly twinkly and smiley towards me at the moment (though he is quite a bit older than me and I'd heard his personal life was somewhat 'complicated' so not sure I'd ever go there really!)

Anyway, that's quite enough about me! Is there anyone out on dates tonight or are we all at home with blankets, snacks and wine? grin

KinNora Fri 22-Mar-13 22:58:35

Well Rekorderlig,my capacious hoody and a duvet but yes. It's too freakin' cold !

ike1 Fri 22-Mar-13 22:59:43

Still coughing...feel like shit..fed up..meh

ike1 Fri 22-Mar-13 23:01:01

Got a spot on my arse as well..any more info needed?

ike1 Fri 22-Mar-13 23:02:56

I might have to have another look at the crap tats facebook page...cheer myself up..

lubeybooby Fri 22-Mar-13 23:36:36

I have blankets snacks and wine! I'm a bit sozzled again actually. hic

KirstyWirsty Fri 22-Mar-13 23:53:32

I'm hosting a sleepover for DD8 and DNiece7 .. They fell out over the hieroglyphic for s and both ended up in tears .. The joys!! And I've had the impression that my sister (DN's mum) has been looking to pick a fight for a few weeks (she falls out with us all every few years and its been a while this time) so hopefully there won't be something that sets her off!!

Wine is a necessity!!

KirstyWirsty Sat 23-Mar-13 00:00:32

Oh and I noticed that my date for Sunday let's call him MrFixit as he seems to like dismantling things only drinks 'rarely' .. Could be a deal breaker that one!!

Bant Sat 23-Mar-13 09:15:08

Morning everyone.

Third date with buffy last night, we went out to some fantastic ruin pubs, drank lots of beer, chatted to her friends who've stopped off here for a weekend during a year traveling round the world.
Then we came back to mine. She's still asleep, I'm going to wake her up with bagels and tea in a minute.

Possibly the best sex I've ever had.

ike1 Sat 23-Mar-13 09:18:27

Wow Bant sounds like its all good down your way!

OhWesternWind Sat 23-Mar-13 09:20:15

Snow snow snow, cold cold cold. Ds has gone out to build a snowman but I have wimped out. Dd is the most sensible one, still being in bed.

Lots to do today but I don't really feel like doing it. Maybe another cup of coffee will see me right.

Going to get in touch with LM soon and try to arrange something for tomorrow - also need to warn him to ignore any texts sent after 6 pm or so when drink will have been taken.

KinNora Sat 23-Mar-13 09:21:47

Hurrah for Bant and Buffy !

( we did tell you she was a good 'un when you were mithering about her glasses )

ike1 Sat 23-Mar-13 09:24:26

Dont think they stayed on for long las night though Kin, know what I mean, eh? eh?

KinNora Sat 23-Mar-13 09:24:53

Yeah, snowy here too OWW - pah.

Are you planning to meet up with LM's knobby mate and show her who's boss ?

lubeybooby Sat 23-Mar-13 09:24:59

Loadsa snow here too!

Bant grin excellent update, yay for third date, beer, Buffy and bagels and tea grin

KinNora Sat 23-Mar-13 09:27:41

Ike that actually made me laugh out loud.

On a very rare occasion when exh and I were making the beast with two backs on the sofa in the living room, I'd put my glasses down the coffee table and the bloody dog chewed them while we were at it probably traumatised

OhWesternWind Sat 23-Mar-13 09:34:35

Whoo hoo Bant you old stud you! What are you going to put on her bagels (very important, this)? Really chuffed for you.

Don't think LM's friend is here this weekend, probably Easter, but as I totally failed to talk about anything even remotely serious last time, I don't know. Torn between leaving her be and zapping her to smithereens with my total all round stunning beauty, wit and charm. Or something. I've thought about this a bit more and she's not a threat, just an irritation as she takes up too much of his time. Will talk to LM soon about Easter plans and then we'll see.

ike1 Sat 23-Mar-13 09:36:03

Heh, heh Kin oh god being watched by pets while in flagrante delicto is strangely disturbing....perhaps he got a bit bored though Kin? Ex doesnt sound the most 'stimulating' of lovers...

KinNora Sat 23-Mar-13 09:37:00

That sounds like a very reasonable approach and no, she's not a threat, for a start LM loves you and she's a deluded little madam who can't hold a candle to you.

ike1 Sat 23-Mar-13 09:37:13

Tartex Bant, tartex...

KinNora Sat 23-Mar-13 09:40:51

The dog loved him Ike, she was jealous of him showing me attention.

(It's starting to sound a bit Jerry Springer)

lulubellaboozle Sat 23-Mar-13 09:42:29

morning all, I've got a feeling, that if Bant has just woken Buffy up that bagels are now the furthest thing from his mind wink

ike1 Sat 23-Mar-13 09:43:02

errrrrr ok kin! (shuffles backwards off thread)

KinNora Sat 23-Mar-13 09:43:47

Ahhh, the flowering of young love and discarding of bagels ...

KinNora Sat 23-Mar-13 09:46:27

Oh you are making me laugh this morning Ike

KinNora Sat 23-Mar-13 09:48:53

Which is good because there's still no word from Mr Showbiz, the beardy fucker, and Mr Software has failed to send me the post-night out drunken soppy email I was hoping for.

I'm sulking.

lubeybooby Sat 23-Mar-13 09:52:02

I'm going to join in sulking with Kin, have text BC and no reply yet... it's been TEN minutes dammit. <unreasonable>

KinNora Sat 23-Mar-13 09:58:49

It's a fucking outrage , innit Lubey ?

Bloody (some) men.

JakeBullet Sat 23-Mar-13 10:04:40

So can I ask which dating sites you are all using.

Morning all little bit of snow here too but down south so it counts more, inches like dog years .

Bant gringringringringrin very happy for you

OWW maybe if Silly Little Friend realises that you and LM are a package when she visits she may be less keen.

I have Software man later this afternoon, it's very local to me so an easy meet up.

KinNora Sat 23-Mar-13 10:13:20

GSM ( meh ) Match ( shite ) and Match Affinity ( most successful of the 3 ). The latter two because I got all confused and subscribed in error. I'm binning GSM and Match.

KinNora Sat 23-Mar-13 10:14:22

Juliette is Software Man the day mix-up chap ?

lubeybooby Sat 23-Mar-13 10:21:01

It is a total outrage Kin! <still unreasonable>

Jake I've been mostly playing around on PoF

Used to use Okcupid.com

I hate match/matchaffinity/eharmony etc.

MirandaWest Sat 23-Mar-13 10:26:11

Yay Bant grin

I ran 5km round York Racecourse this morning in driving snow. Am officially mad I think....

Software what day is it man, yes.

I also joined MA by accident then had problems getting out of it. Over a year I had about 3 messages, all from men who hadn't filled out the profile properly and more 60 than 50.

Match I had maybe 2 messages, potatoes. POF I've only ever responded to 2, one was the dodgy anesthesist and the other is current.

GSM men have all been useless so far.

Jake Okc works for me

KinNora Sat 23-Mar-13 10:31:29

<admires Miranda's resolve and digs out thermal cami>

Lubey I'm feeling so unreasonable I may venture onto PoF. Has he replied yet ?

KinNora Sat 23-Mar-13 10:34:17

Juliette in my experience a lot of anaesthetists are a bit errrr unusual .

I hope you have a lovely time with Software Man this afternoon.

lubeybooby Sat 23-Mar-13 10:36:52

Nope Kin no reply yet, I'm still feeling quite done with PoF for now though... may venture back there next weekish...

Kin grin and surgeons. You've got me more positive about Software, this is definitely a meet and see coffee thing.

48howdidthathappen Sat 23-Mar-13 10:40:22

Mr Oz has just texted. Got to be careful here as texting Mr R&R filth.

KirstyWirsty Sat 23-Mar-13 10:42:49

Go bant

OWW I'm sure you'll get something sorted out

Waves to everyone else .. It's very snowy here

KinNora Sat 23-Mar-13 10:46:00

Oh yeah Juliette (some) surgeons think they are god's gift. Software Man has been promising over email, hasn't he ? It's about time you had a slice of the fun cake ( no idea what that is but I think Snape, Bant and 48 may well be camped in the fun cake shop )

Lubey in that case I will dip a toe in PoF and report back for your vicarious amusement.

48 in the words of Father Ted ' careful now' ...

lubeybooby Sat 23-Mar-13 10:50:58

Kin thanks <awaits amusement>

I have to go off and do some work shortly but just like Arnie, I'll be back.

KinNora Sat 23-Mar-13 11:06:07

Of course just as I slag off Match, I get a message. (Admittedly he does look like Father Christmas and have a vomitous user name along the lines of 'BornToCuddle' )

I'm away to steam clean the bathroom - wooohooo.

Kin it's gsm2 that is the more promising and he's tomorrow for market browsing.

There is something vaguely apocalyptic about a steam cleaner, you can just blast stuff and know that nothing can live through it, very satisfying.

VelvetSpoon Sat 23-Mar-13 11:34:36

I so want a steam cleaner! (am hoping it might actually make me want to do some cleaning...)

I had over 10 (!) hours sleep last night. Can't believe I slept for so long but feel great now so I obviously needed it! Was expecting to wake up to some sort of Snowmaggedon judging by all the photos/comments on my FB but we have none. Which is good smile (Miranda am shock at you running 5k in the snow!!)

Western, I'd want to meet the friend only because I am an evil cow and wouldn't be able to resist the opportunity to show her how inferior she is in every way, and thereby hopefully put her off taking up any more of his time. But that's just me! And I do agree entirely she is no threat to you.

Juliette, good luck for later with Mr Software, hope all goes well smile

48howdidthathappen Sat 23-Mar-13 11:52:39

That was a texting nightmare. I am meeting up with Mr OZ next week. Details yet to be arranged. It will be great to see him smile

Mr R&Rs cock blocking has been very enjoyable grin I do think he is the man for me. For now.

Have a great date Juliette

OhWesternWind Sat 23-Mar-13 12:22:54

Enjoy it Juliette, hope he's a good 'un, but you've got a back up for tomorrow anyway haven't you? Ond of them will come good!

48 are you sure about seeing Mr Oz? I'd be feeling terrible if I was Mr R&R, poor chap.

Waiting for LM to reply to text about tomorrow. Why does it have to take so long? (Two hours!). Straightforward question requiring a yes or no answer, need to know because of babysitting. Fed up of this.

MirandaWest Sat 23-Mar-13 12:31:54

I think men generally don't understand the necessary immediacy needed and how things have to get sorted out - they don't just "happen" <waits to be shot down in flames by all men grin>

Am by the sea (doing an easy mystery shop but got lots of money out of them for doing it so is nice to be by the sea smile Is blooming freezing here too though - running in the snow did at least warm me up.

48 - I agree with OWW - Mr R&R could well feel a bit rubbish about you seeing Mr Oz. And you do keep splitting up with him (which he seems to have coped with but he might end up calling your bluff one day).

48howdidthathappen Sat 23-Mar-13 12:39:43

I have to see Mr OZ. I have to know.

I told Mr R&R about Mr OZ a few weeks ago. I have been completely honest.

I also promised Mr R&R I would never do the text dumping again. If he dumps me. I will get over it.

MirandaWest Sat 23-Mar-13 12:51:29

That does make sense. I think because we've seen your relationship with Mr R&R evolving were hoping it will be him, if that makes any sense.

MirandaWest Sat 23-Mar-13 12:51:57

Too much sense there......

48howdidthathappen Sat 23-Mar-13 12:53:40

I would put my own money on Mr R&R smile

MirandaWest Sat 23-Mar-13 13:08:14

smile

KinNora Sat 23-Mar-13 13:44:24

Ok, have just created a PoF IE profile - chop chop chaps, I want to be entertained.

Scrazy Sat 23-Mar-13 13:49:04

Kin, you will be by all accounts. Have fun.

ike1 Sat 23-Mar-13 13:51:44

Get in Kin!!!

KinNora Sat 23-Mar-13 13:57:27

Jaysus, Mary and Joseph - it's kerrrazzzee, are all these men in prison or something ? I think I may have received my first cock shot ...
I shall report back later with any particularly spectacular nuggets Scrazy

KinNora Sat 23-Mar-13 13:58:34

If I end up mentally scarred, I will be blaming you Ike grin

Snapespeare Sat 23-Mar-13 13:59:07

bant I am absolutely delighted for you <fist bump for best sex EVAAAAAAH!>

Bant Sat 23-Mar-13 14:24:30

<raises a weary fist to bump back, then goes back to sleep>

Snapespeare Sat 23-Mar-13 14:34:25

You're getting too old for this mullarkey bant wink grin

OhWesternWind Sat 23-Mar-13 15:18:07

Never too old grin

VelvetSpoon Sat 23-Mar-13 15:35:47

Kin grin at 'are all these men in prison?' Hope you're having fun with it!

Western hope LMs text you back now. If he's at the shop today, he probably hadn't even checked his phone, I know if I'm caught up with something I don't look at it for hours whereas the rest of the time I'm checking it every 5 mins

Keep having silly, rather soppy thoughts about C. Am such a saddo grin On Thurs he was talking about buying me a birthday present (half jokingly, was only a small, token thing). My birthday is 2 months away. Which I think is good smile (although I did say would that be the next time I was seeing him?...!)

OhWesternWind Sat 23-Mar-13 15:44:21

No I know he read the text straight away - both have iPhones and it sends a read receipt. Have just phoned him and he's not answering either. I'm not sure if he's at the shop all say or not, but even if he is he's not testing today so could take a moment to reply.

I just find this rude and ignorant.

Need an IE report Nora to cheer me up.

Friends coming round for wine in half an hour. Shit. Always get a bit pissed with them and am worried I'm going to do something ill-considered later when they've gone. Drunk texting/ phoning is not a good plan but I know I'm going to be tempted.

KinNora Sat 23-Mar-13 16:15:29

Ok OWW - you asked for it, set up a profile with no photo and a four line, facetious paragraph, 30 messages so far, variously offering sex in caravans, enquiring whether I know what filthy things they'd like to do to me, one opining that he is 'sick of the fucking snow' and a gentleman who wishes to know if I've ever 'dominated a man'. I'm astonished. I haven't opened the one with attached photo yet, not sure I fancy coming face to glans with a strange member on a Saturday afternoon.

I might reply to the man who wants to be dominated, as surely there's comedy value to be had there.

You could always send LM mucky texts when you're drunk, do you need me to tell you to 'give over' yet ?

(And the tsunami of poor testosterone addled little hopefuls continues, good grief )

lubeybooby Sat 23-Mar-13 16:16:37

Yes Kin IE report please... I am nearly done for the day now... getting there..

lubeybooby Sat 23-Mar-13 16:17:10

Oh cross posted! excellent... will read it now...

OhWesternWind Sat 23-Mar-13 16:20:29

Caravans????? Is that supposed to be a turn on??

KinNora Sat 23-Mar-13 16:24:32

Oh there's yet more, it's incessant - the latest one has sent me the start of a story in which he strides into the office in his new crisply tailored suit and greets me in a professional manner 'Good morning Miss Nora, how are things today ?' I suspect my answer is supposed to involve an attempt at cheesy 70s porn.

KinNora Sat 23-Mar-13 16:27:31

Sadly, no OWW because that would have made me hysterical, it's because I said that I wasn't bothered where I went on a first date as long as it wasn't an exhibition on the history of caravans.

lulubellaboozle Sat 23-Mar-13 16:38:16

grin kin now this is entertaining! please please tell us how you are going to answer *'Good Morning Miss Nora, how are things today?'

OWW men and phones and texts, generally are bloody annoying! If you are doing to do drunken texting, maybe the flirty route is the best one to go down? or else we are going to have to get all hmm at you

lubeybooby Sat 23-Mar-13 17:03:53

BC still hasn't replied shock he must have been eaten by wild squirrels or something because he always replies... oh well. Another one bites the dust... poor BC and his bitey demise. probably not

Kin this is entertainment gold! You + IE oh what fun grin