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To be a weeny bit suspicious of DP going to work today?

(404 Posts)
TallDwarf Sun 17-Mar-13 11:09:26

DP owns his own company along with his business partner. He does sometimes work weekends but its always from home, today he has gone in to work in one of their popular city locations. It was a last minute plan that he announced on Friday. He said he needed a business meeting with his partner, but they're emailing each other every day and see each other at least once a week at work anyway so seemed a bit weird to give up a weekend day for this.

I've emailed him a couple of times this morning but not got a reply, but have had a text from him.

Am I reading too much in to nothing here? Just seems weird to go to work on a Sunday, text me but not read or reply to emails...?

youfhearted Sun 17-Mar-13 11:13:13

doesn't he tell you any more details?
is his business doing well? or don't you know?

just wait til he gets home. if he is in meeting he wont be able to respond to your questions.
have you not been together long?

toomanyfionas Sun 17-Mar-13 11:13:36

I think that if y are feeling suspicious, then possibly something is up.

Where do you think he might be if not at work?

scratchandsniff Sun 17-Mar-13 11:16:13

I think there's something to be said for trusting your instincts. If it doesn't feel quite right then it probably isn't.

TallDwarf Sun 17-Mar-13 11:17:53

His business is doing well, I don't know all the ins and outs of it but I see the pay cheques and he tells me stuff about it. He didn't give me many details about this meeting today, but I didn't want to question too much either.
We've been together over 5 years.

I understand he can't reply to emails when in a meeting but he sent me a text a couple of hours after I sent the email.

I do normally trust him, we have a good relationship. There's just something I can put my finger on about today

scratchandsniff Sun 17-Mar-13 11:20:55

Could him and business partner of been invited on some sort of corporate entertainment I.e. golf day etc? Something that he thought you might have been pissed off about not being invited to or may have stopped him going.

ivanapoo Sun 17-Mar-13 11:22:31

YANBU - trust your instincts but don't jump to conclusions. Any way you can check where his business partner is?

myheadwillexplode Sun 17-Mar-13 11:23:43

I think people should trust their partners. Having to work at a weekend is not a reason to distrust someone IMO. Talk to him tonight.

TallDwarf Sun 17-Mar-13 13:49:14

I've said I do normally trust him myhead, there's just something about today that didn't seem quite right to me. He seemed worried when I questioned him last night.
He's still not answering my email and I've sent another since. If he was at work he would have his email thing open and would have replied by now.

AgentZigzag Sun 17-Mar-13 13:53:09

It's good sense to keep your eye on how things are, but try not to let your imagination run away with your or interpret things as him being up to something.

Keep it in the back of your mind and worry if you see something, otherwise presume there's an innocent explanation for today.

TallDwarf Sun 17-Mar-13 14:17:59

He's just rang and said he has to stop over in a hotel tonight hmm far too much work to do apparently

AgentZigzag Sun 17-Mar-13 14:19:31

Oooh, that's not going to put your suspicions to bed is it?

Is it normal for him to stop out because of work?

MrsTomHardy Sun 17-Mar-13 14:21:44

I'd say go with your gut instinct, it's rarely wrong. Sorry

LondonNinja Sun 17-Mar-13 14:24:00

How odd. Can you meet him for dinner at the hotel tonight?

HildaOgden Sun 17-Mar-13 14:24:26

Phone him and speak to him.

Or phone his business partner,use the excuse you can't seem to get through to dh's phone and ask him to hand the phone over to him.You'll soon see whether he actually is with the business partner or not.

It sounds suspicious to me too.Although I wouldn't automatically assume it's another woman.

drownangels Sun 17-Mar-13 14:25:23

Are you worried there could be a problem with the buisness, that he is seeing someone else or what?
If it seems odd to you then yes it is odd IYSWIM

TallDwarf Sun 17-Mar-13 14:26:49

He does stop occasionally but only if he's working the other end of the country, not our nearest city.
I asked him why he can't come home to work and he said he met a new client today and wants to take him out for dinner to work on getting him board with the company. It's all total bullshit.

I can't go meet him as stuck at home with our toddler.

LondonNinja Sun 17-Mar-13 14:27:39

Good idea to phone his business partner. Maybe block your number? It does seem strange - the lack of information is what would worry me. From what you have said, he is being evasive or, at least, economical with information...

It might be a big business problem, but he could should still share that without giving you chapter and verse.

StuffezLaBouche Sun 17-Mar-13 14:28:59

The facts on their own mean nothing, but I am a massive believer in that instinct and sense of something being not quite right. I hope it works out ok for you OP.

LondonNinja Sun 17-Mar-13 14:30:24

Hmm. Why can't he come home after dinner, though?

I'd be feeling unsettled if this happened to me. Whatever's going on, he's not exactly being inclusive!

TallDwarf Sun 17-Mar-13 14:30:38

I don't have his business partners number and we're not really on the best terms for being able to ring him like that.

I don't know what to do from here...

WorriedTeenMum Sun 17-Mar-13 14:30:54

Three possibles which spring to mind:

1. As scratchandsniff suggested there is some sort of corporate shindig on to which you werent invited

2. The business is in some sort of very deep shit

3. There is something like a takeover going on. Right now he cant discuss it at all.

The over the top cloak and dagger secrecy suggests to me something which will be made public soon. The secrecy is for now not forever.

CajaDeLaMemoria Sun 17-Mar-13 14:35:50

How are you suspicious?

I mean, are you thinking he's seeing someone else, or worrying there is something wrong with the business, or is it just his behaviour causing general suspicion?

For what it's worth, I think he's being far too obvious to be seeing another woman, but calling his business partner would soon settle any doubts about whether he's actually 'on business'.

Dillydollydaydream Sun 17-Mar-13 14:36:38

I'd be feeling quite suspicious right now if this was out of character for your dp.
My dh is usually very open about work meetings so if he was being cagey all of a sudden that would make me suspicious, he's had instances where he's had to make people redundant but he's always been upfront about what's going on.
You know if this behaviour is out of the ordinary for your dp.

HildaOgden Sun 17-Mar-13 14:36:40

Have you any other reason to be suspicious about him? I have to say,I'm finding it quite strange how little you seem to know about his work.Just a couple of things you've said....you don't have his business partners number,you didn't want to question him about the meeting today....is it usual that you are so excluded from a whole area of his life?If so,then yes,it's possible that he is wining and dining a potential new client and is booking a hotel so that he isn't tied to times.

How long would it take him to travel home by taxi?

LondonNinja Sun 17-Mar-13 14:37:36

I think it's a case of waiting it out, annoying and frustrating as that is. Plan something for this afternoon to take your mind off this situation and try to keep an open mind. When you see him tomorrow, see what he has to say. It might be a confidential business thing, who knows? You'll know pretty quickly if it's bullshit.

Ask him for details of the hotel, as well, if you feel he's hiding something. Not being alarmist, but just in case you need to check anything subsequently.

Hopefully, it will be the case that is has been worried sick about the meeting as has gone into himself like a typical man while he gets it over and done with.

MajorB Sun 17-Mar-13 14:40:20

Can you phone the office landline and see if he picks up?

Also, do you have anyone you can drop your toddler off with, drive to the hotel for a "surprise" evening together?

If he's on his own you get a nice evening with your DP, if he's not then you know immediately what's going on.

Depends how suspicious you are really.

Loulybelle Sun 17-Mar-13 14:44:16

If it dont feel right, it probably isnt, though tread carefully about how you approach this.

HollyBerryBush Sun 17-Mar-13 14:54:24

Do you think his business might be going tits up? a couple of bad payers and it can all go down the drain.

Geordieminx Sun 17-Mar-13 14:59:00

Could you take dc and drive to city, see if his car is outside office?

aldiwhore Sun 17-Mar-13 15:04:56

He should give you more details. It does sounds a bit odd. It could be 'innocent' odd. It could be he's having a wild covert affair (unlikely) or it could be that he's including drinking within the business remit. I'd put my money on drink.

My DH often meets colleagues in the pub at lunchtime, and sometimes they use the time to catch up over beer, some of their better ideas have come out of a long session.

However, he would ALWAYS tell me that's what is happening and I'm careful not to throw a hissy fit when he does so he never feels the need to lie...

How would I deal with the above? Well I'd try very hard to remain absolutely calm, non accusatory, whilst still conveying that you'd prefer to know details if it's coming out of your weekend 'family' time.

Do you have a way of tracking his iPhone online? Maybe you can see where he is exactly.

HillBilly76 Sun 17-Mar-13 15:06:01

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everlong Sun 17-Mar-13 15:10:43

Up until him saying he was sleeping over I wasn't dubious.

TallDwarf Sun 17-Mar-13 15:14:02

Why am I suspicious? Because I have a feeling that I should be.

I've thought of a plan, going to do it now.

QOD Sun 17-Mar-13 15:14:25

Do you drive? I'd go for a drive.

IneedAsockamnesty Sun 17-Mar-13 15:21:37

He's an adult that means he should be capable of conducting himself appropriately.

HildaOgden Sun 17-Mar-13 15:24:01

What's your plan?

scratchandsniff Sun 17-Mar-13 15:29:09

Hopefully It's nothing to be too worried about. I bet they've had the meeting and decided to go out on the piss.

TallDwarf Sun 17-Mar-13 15:32:51

Just rang him and said MIL has offered to have our dc overnight so I can come keep you company in your hotel. He went off it! Not happy with that plan at all, unusually angry about it when he could have just said its not ideal but nice idea.

MIL is going to have DC and I'm going to get the bus there. I know I must sound bonkers but I can't ignore this feeling. I've had it for the past month, lots of little things that I can't put my finger on.

StuffezLaBouche Sun 17-Mar-13 15:34:20

It doesn't sound good and if you've been feeling something isn't right for a month, chances are something isn't right. :-(

somedayma Sun 17-Mar-13 15:35:12

but now he knows you're coming so...

TallDwarf Sun 17-Mar-13 15:37:08

He doesn't know I'm coming, I told him I'd leave it if he was going to react like that.

Xenia Sun 17-Mar-13 15:37:46

He should be pleased. No matter how late the dinner goes on you will be waiting for him in bed in the hotel. Lucky him. What is there not to like?

LittleBairn Sun 17-Mar-13 15:38:21

I would listen to your instincts but it may not be another woman it could be the business is in trouble.

everlong Sun 17-Mar-13 15:39:27

He's up to something. What, I don't know.

What other things have made you uneasy the last month?

50shadesofknackered Sun 17-Mar-13 15:40:30

It does sound suspicious op, especially his reaction to u going to the hotel. I hope it's nothing tho. Good luck

scratchandsniff Sun 17-Mar-13 15:41:27

Oh that doesn't sound good. I really feel for you, such a horrible feeling when you know something is up. You don't sound bankers at all, I would have to go there too if I were you. Still hoping it is just a case of going out for drinks with business partner/client.

Follow your instincts, something is amiss.

I hope you find out soon, I think the not knowing is usually worse.

AThingInYourLife Sun 17-Mar-13 15:42:24

If it's a problem with the business, why is he angry at an unexpected night in a hotel with his wife?

scratchandsniff Sun 17-Mar-13 15:42:32

Bonkers not bankers

MoodyDidIt Sun 17-Mar-13 15:44:05

sorry op but it sounds a bit suss now. esp with him getting funny with you when you offered to meet him

and like lots of others said, i too am a big believer in gut instinct

good luck, and keep us posted x

Maryz Sun 17-Mar-13 15:44:32

Oh dear, it doesn't sound like a business meeting.

Will MIL not tell him she has your son?

SucksToBeMe Sun 17-Mar-13 15:45:54

I hope your wrong OP and there is a reasonable excuse.
I've been in your shoes and managed to get email passwords for my brother in law before I found photos of my OH in bed with another woman. I had a gut feeling and wouldn't let it drop.

LadyPessaryPam Sun 17-Mar-13 15:46:24

You can buy a tracker device that uses mobile phone technology that attaches to the underside of the car and you can trace where he actually goes. Bit extreme but it works, I know someone who did this.

Like this
www.eyetek.co.uk/car-tracker-200

AgentZigzag Sun 17-Mar-13 15:46:27

That's a bit different if you've been wondering about stuff for a month.

What kinds of things?

AvonCallingBarksdale Sun 17-Mar-13 15:47:03

Hmm, I wouldn't have been worried right up until you posted his reactino to you staying at the hotel. That's not good. Whatever's going on, if I was you, I'd need to find out one way or the other.

middleagedspread Sun 17-Mar-13 15:47:47

Nothing to add, except he might be totally innocent. If so, try & have a lovely evening together.
I really hope this is the case.

somedayma Sun 17-Mar-13 15:48:26

He'll be on high alert though, even if he thinks you're not coming. Good luck, I hope it's all innocent!

I hope it turns out to be nothing, but I am also a strong believer in instinct too.sad

QOD Sun 17-Mar-13 15:49:59

Make sure mil doesn't tell dh she has the dc!?

HillBilly76 Sun 17-Mar-13 15:50:29

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DragonMamma Sun 17-Mar-13 15:50:40

It doesn't sound great tbh, he's obviously lying about something. Let's hope it's a drinking session and not an OW.

Is the place you need to get to far from your home?

MortifiedAdams Sun 17-Mar-13 15:52:08

Goodness this sounds incredibly suspicious.

I work in a hotel. There is an awful lot of flings go on. It is scary.

Go there. They wont tell you the room number, unless they are crap at their job. However they may call the room and ask if he can come down of if they can have permission to disclose the room number.

An alternative is to not visit this evening but to call the Hotel Tuesday AM claiming to be his PA and ask them to email you the invoice for expenses purposes. This works best if you have a corporate email address rather than a personal gmail/hotmail one.

I really hope it's nothing OP, but I would be suspicious too.

Oh dear. I always think you should trust your gut, and the whole story does sound rather dodgy. I hope it's not as bad as you think.

scratchandsniff Sun 17-Mar-13 15:54:30

I can't stop thinking about this. Like someone else said it feels a bit too obvious if there was someone else involved. If that were the case I think it more likely that he would have planned an overnight stay further in advance. Surely if a man was up to something he'd have the sense to realise that arranging a last minute meeting which happens to turn in to an over nighter would make a partner suspicious.

AThingInYourLife Sun 17-Mar-13 16:17:01

"Surely if a man was up to something he'd have the sense to realise that arranging a last minute meeting which happens to turn in to an over nighter would make a partner suspicious."

Text message from OW:

I need to see you NOW. Can you get away? It's important.

Euphemia Sun 17-Mar-13 16:18:40

I hope you're wrong. sad

scratchandsniff Sun 17-Mar-13 16:22:17

I'm just really hoping for the OP that It's not another woman and to be fair there's every chance it isn't. But you're right a text like that would be all it takes to make them go off at last minute.

MoodyDidIt Sun 17-Mar-13 16:23:11

i hope op is wrong too sad

scaevola Sun 17-Mar-13 16:23:14

Ring him now, tell him you've off loaded DCs and are really looking forward to a night off, you and him alone.

See how he reacts.

scaevola Sun 17-Mar-13 16:24:55

Oops: missed some of the middle of the thread. Ignore me.

myheadwillexplode Sun 17-Mar-13 16:27:48

I can't believe people are suggesting 'tracking' him. I would be furious if someone did this to me. It would be the end of the relationship even if I was completely innocent. Actually someone turning up because they didn't trust me would probably mean I'd end a relationship too.

If you've been suspicious for a month (good drip feed there) why on earth haven't you TALKED TO HIM instead of asking a group of online strangers.

Ragwort Sun 17-Mar-13 16:28:09

Sorry to add to your suspicions but this happened exactly to my MIL (many years ago) - she decided to turn up unannounced and found him having a 'business meeting' with his secretary (it was in the 1970s); she actually had the guts to ask her if she was aware he had a wife and four children at home ...............

LadyBeagleEyes Sun 17-Mar-13 16:29:05

If he really was meeting someone, wouldn't he try to hide his tracks better?
He really does look like he's doing something suspicious, it's almost so obvious it's possible it's entirely innocent.

Good luck Tall, I can see why you are now very suspicious, going off on one after telling him you can join him is a big red flag.

ZenNudist Sun 17-Mar-13 16:33:04

Ok so I'm with you on trusting your gut. Better to act & look paranoid then to do nothing if he did start an affair today... worst case scenario.

BUT do you definitely know which hotel he is staying in? No use running around panicking, alerting MIL to problems... If you don't actually find him.

HildaOgden Sun 17-Mar-13 16:37:23

I'm still not absolutely convinced it's another woman.I didn't want to say it earlier in the thread when I first posted,but seeing as it's rapidly unfolding I will say it.

I know 2 people who checked into hotels,having decided they were going to commit suicide.Both succeeded.

I don't say that to alarm you,but just to put another possible explanation out there.It would explain why he is so agitated at those plans being foiled,it would explain why he has distanced off....it would explain a lot.

Don't go in there filled with rage,expecting to find another woman.Keep your mind open until you hear his explanation face-to-face.Something is obviously going on,but it might not be adultery.

AuntieMaggie Sun 17-Mar-13 16:41:52

good luck op.

TallDwarf Sun 17-Mar-13 16:41:54

Sorry not been able to get on here much, got DC wanting attention and trying to sort this plan out. I'm very close with MIL, I know she won't tell a soul.

Someone asked why I haven't spoken to him about his recent attitude - I have, we've spoken argued about it a couple of times. It's my problem according to him. We've been through a lot together and I really know almost everything about him. I'm pretty sure it is another woman. I've seen his attitude when his business has been in trouble and it is quite similar to what he's like at the mo, but slightly different iykwim.

Wtf do I do if I'm right? I don't think I could do a big scene in public. Sorry if I don't get back on here, will be setting off soon.

StuntGirl Sun 17-Mar-13 16:42:12

Is it not more likely something to do with St Patricks day? Staying away, suddenly has to stay overnight...sounds like a night out drinking to me.

Hope everything is ok OP

chipmonkey Sun 17-Mar-13 16:42:48

It does sound dodgy. Hope you find nothing amiss. xx

AThingInYourLife Sun 17-Mar-13 16:42:54

Jesus, that's so awful, Hilda sad shock

You come home and think about a plan. No big scenes. Im another to trust instinct but I hope it's wrong. Good luck.

scratchandsniff Sun 17-Mar-13 16:46:38

Good luck OP. I'm hoping it all turns out ok and not another woman.

ScillyCow Sun 17-Mar-13 16:47:21

Hope it all goes OK TallDwarf.

Loulybelle Sun 17-Mar-13 16:49:51

If it is another woman, tell him "Dont bother coming home" and leave, that will kept your dignity intact.

If its not another woman, then you both need a serious talk about where your relationship is going.

Cherriesarelovely Sun 17-Mar-13 16:49:59

Another one hoping you are wrong OP. What a horrible situation for you. Better to know though.

CabbageLeaves Sun 17-Mar-13 16:50:19

Hilda. I have known similar. Either way OP is concerned and I hope gets reassurance

headlesslambrini Sun 17-Mar-13 16:50:56

Good luck op, i hope it isnt what you are thinking.

Loulybelle Sun 17-Mar-13 16:51:25

Oh and when a man gets uncharacteristically snappy over something, its normally because they have something to hide, IME.

NaturalBlondeYeahRight Sun 17-Mar-13 16:51:27

I'm really not sure you are going to find anything now. Swap it around - if you were having an affair and DH phoned to say he might pop by, you wouldn't take any chances of bring caught would you. His heart must have been racing when you rang. If you do see anything, you will have to walk away to gather yourself. Will you be able to do that if you travelled by public transport?

TobyLerone Sun 17-Mar-13 16:52:10

This definitely sounds like something's amiss. I'm not usually the suspicious type, but this is odd.

Your plan is not the action I would take, but I hope it works out for you.

Ruprekt Sun 17-Mar-13 16:55:04

I do not think this will end well. hmm

Xenia Sun 17-Mar-13 17:04:02

Of course she won't be there as you gave warning so there will definitely be no scene. You just turn up and have a nice time with him.
He will know for the future he is not going to be able to get away with anything and that can be the end of that.

Cherriesarelovely Sun 17-Mar-13 17:14:20

Blimey, that wouldn't be the end of it for me xenia!

livinginwonderland Sun 17-Mar-13 17:14:40

good luck OP, i hope you're wrong.

everlong Sun 17-Mar-13 17:17:07

He might be at a gentlemans lock in type thingy.. strippers,booze etc.

Certainly not great but might not be an affair.

I can't decide if you're brave or bonkers for going to the hotel. I'll go with brave.

Good luck to you. I hope it's entirely innocent.

everlong Sun 17-Mar-13 17:22:07

He's not going to be at the hotel if he's seeing another woman.

barebranches Sun 17-Mar-13 17:24:34

sad hope its all ok

rhondajean Sun 17-Mar-13 17:26:33

I think brave. And I hope wrong.

Good luck op.

Squiglettsmummy2bx Sun 17-Mar-13 17:27:28

Hope it turns out to be nothing.

GreenEggsAndNichts Sun 17-Mar-13 17:28:04

Oh dear. Hope things go well.

Agree with everlong, I'll be surprised if he's at the hotel he said he'd be at, if there is another woman involved.

I hope it's all a terrible misunderstanding.

TallDwarf Sun 17-Mar-13 17:31:22

I don't think he will be suspicious of me coming up. I don't drive and I'm not really a spur of the moment type of person. He seemed pretty convinced by me anyway.

His restaurant reservation is booked for 8.30 so I'm going to try get there for 8.10 and hide in a corner at the bar. This is going to make me sound insane but I've put on a wig and got some big glasses to wear! It's weird but I'm getting a bit of a thrill from all this. Think I'm just hoping I've got it wrong.

Hope you're ok op

morethanpotatoprints Sun 17-Mar-13 17:32:40

I hope you are ok OP and everything is ok.

Has anybody suggested that the client he needs to get on board his business in a woman. I'm not saying this is acceptable but maybe a partner turning up in this circumstance could be seen as unprofessional, for either sex.
I can remember having dinner with a male client, many years ago and the thought of dh meeting me would have been unacceptable.

However, the reaction was a bit suspicious, i'd have explained more.

StuffezLaBouche Sun 17-Mar-13 17:33:43

What?! You're not really going to wear a wig and insane glasses, are you? Getting a thrill?! I am confused. If I thought my long term partner was planning a secret shag in a hotel I would be devastated.

everlong Sun 17-Mar-13 17:33:47

A wig and glasses confused

ivykaty44 Sun 17-Mar-13 17:34:02

it was the fact he didn't stay calm about you coming over to the hotel that put the final nail in the coffin - something is going on that shouldn't be happening.

TobyLerone Sun 17-Mar-13 17:34:57

How do you know about all his plans, OP? Which restaurant/hotel etc?

TallDwarf Sun 17-Mar-13 17:35:51

I wear wigs a lot, just didn't want him to recognise my normal hair and face. I don't mean a good thrill...it's hard to explain. It's like a thrilling sicky feeling.

He said it was a man, so if I see him turn up with a woman then I know he's lying.

WTF?

WipsGlitter Sun 17-Mar-13 17:36:58

What are you going to do at the hotel in both scenarios? Ie if it a work dinner - are you going to try and slope off unseen, if its not innocent are you going to confront. My DP frequently doesn't answer emails I send him at work because he's busy.

middleagedspread Sun 17-Mar-13 17:37:09

But what if it's a totally innocent meeting & he spies you in the corner dressed in a disguise?

StuffezLaBouche Sun 17-Mar-13 17:37:25

Sorry, I'm being slow. I thought you rang him and said your were coming over to have a nice evening with him. So surely he will be expecting you? Or was the upshot of that him saying not to come?

ivykaty44 Sun 17-Mar-13 17:37:55

we had a couple having an affair - this was before mobile phones were used widely and so they had two rooms with inter connecting door - then when her husband phoned she would answer in her room - when his wife phoned he answered in his room.

they both gave hotel and room numbers to their spouses, they thought they had it sewn up. But his wife turned up one day and caught him out.

We knew cause she asked for his room number - we can't give out room numbers to anyone including anyone who says they are a wife - she did still catch him out though.

TallDwarf Sun 17-Mar-13 17:38:25

I took a guess and rang our favourite restaurants asking what time the table was booked for under his surname. Pretty distinctive surname so I'm hoping I've not got that bit wrong as well. I didn't strike lucky with any of the hotels so the restaurant is my only option. He wouldn't tell me which one he was booked in.

SucksToBeMe Sun 17-Mar-13 17:38:57

I don't think TD is getting a thrill, adrenaline more likely.

myheadwillexplode Sun 17-Mar-13 17:39:12

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TobyLerone Sun 17-Mar-13 17:39:33

Very suspicious hmm

LandofTute Sun 17-Mar-13 17:40:17

Sorry to say that whenever i have known someone who has had suspicions about their dh he has always turned out to be having an affair. I hope that is not the case for you. Are you hoping he won't recognise you if you wear the wig and glasses then? It makes it sound comical which it isn't.

Loulybelle Sun 17-Mar-13 17:40:20

Stuffez OP suggested meeting him and he went mental at the suggestion, thats made her more suspicious.

everlong Sun 17-Mar-13 17:40:21

Well he isn't going to rock up to your favourite restaurant with another woman is he.

This is getting weird.

mum11970 Sun 17-Mar-13 17:40:35

If he's got an iPhone you can track him on the find my iPhone app, if he's got location services switched on. Hope it turns out ok and he doesn't spot you.

Chavvytastic Sun 17-Mar-13 17:41:30

So he refused to tell you which hotel he was staying at?? You actually asked and he refused to say???

Thats confirmation for me, if thats the case.

Why wouldnt someone say which hotel they were staying in on business to their spouse when asked???

TallDwarf Sun 17-Mar-13 17:41:46

I did stuffez but he kicked off and told me not to come. I backed down and hung up in a mood.

My plan is to hide in the corner of the bar and wait for him to come in. Hopefully he will arrive with the OW and that will be proof enough. If not I'll have to wing it.

MrsKeithRichards Sun 17-Mar-13 17:42:33

This all sounds fucking bonkers. How stupid will you look, sitting there in a wig and glasses? What the fuck will he think? That you're crazy and don't trust him.

Mental.

Loulybelle Sun 17-Mar-13 17:42:56

Oh refusing to say the hotel, thats an a red flag.

cocoachannel Sun 17-Mar-13 17:44:10

Following the wig and glasses post I broke a golden MN rule blush and see that you have had problems in recent months with DP, OP, to the extent that it really surprises me that you describe your relationship as good. Whatever is going on I hope it works out for you OP but this all seems much more complex than this thread suggests taken as a whole sad

StuntGirl Sun 17-Mar-13 17:44:13

I imagine the wig looks real and is not a Dolly Parton-esque number...I have one to cover my unatural coloured hair for work, it looks like my own hair.

everlong Sun 17-Mar-13 17:44:38

But why would he choose your favourite restaurant?

The staff would know its not his normal wife!

tiredemma Sun 17-Mar-13 17:45:02

Marking my place for tonight.

Loulybelle Sun 17-Mar-13 17:45:13

I think OP, that you really to assess your relationship, hes being suspicious and your going out in a wig and glasses to catch him out.

Your relationship sounds like its dying a slow death.

TallDwarf Sun 17-Mar-13 17:45:29

I won't look crazy in a wig, it's a nice expensive wig and it suits me.

I came here for support but being called crazy isn't helping. I'd like to see how you'd react in this situation

when you asked where he was staying, and he wouldn't tell you, did he give you a reason why?

MrsKeithRichards Sun 17-Mar-13 17:47:01

Not like a bampot that's for sure.

loopylou6 Sun 17-Mar-13 17:47:09

I was sympathetic till your last post, that actually does sound barking mad, big wig and glasses? You suspect your dp is having an affair, but you're getting 'a thrill' confused

Hope you don't mind me asking OP but is this the same DP who kicked you out a few months back or a new one?

AnneEyhtMeyer Sun 17-Mar-13 17:48:22

everlong Well he isn't going to rock up to your favourite restaurant with another woman is he.

You would be surprised. As a student I worked in a little Italian restaurant and we frequently had men bringing their wife one night and the OW the next. Some people have very little imagination.

StuffezLaBouche Sun 17-Mar-13 17:48:34

I apologise for reacting in a less than supportive way to the wig thing OP, it was mean. I don't know how I'd react if I were you but suspect I'd be just as desperate to find out the truth. But please do consider how awful it would be if he clocked you sitting there wearing a disguise.

MrsKeithRichards Sun 17-Mar-13 17:48:50

And I also think there's a lot of crazy fuckers here who like to egg other nutters on, thus making you think your acting rationally.

everlong Sun 17-Mar-13 17:49:54

OP answer me please.
Why would any normal man having an affair take their OW to their wife's favourite restaurant??

TallDwarf Sun 17-Mar-13 17:51:09

It's the same one.
I'm going now and won't be coming back. This is hard enough without the scepticism on here.

TidyDancer Sun 17-Mar-13 17:51:16

Quick history search shows OP is NOT hairy of hand. And seems like her DH has been a bit of a tit before.

OP please just be careful.

Ever long: my dad did, same restaurants, same holidays.

ChocolateCoins Sun 17-Mar-13 17:52:37

Op sad hope you're wrong and it turns out okay. Even though the wig idea sounds crazy I can understand why you're doing it. If it does turn out to be a man what will you do? Reveal yourself or just leave unnoticed?

ivykaty44 Sun 17-Mar-13 17:52:56

Some people have very little imagination.

others don't realise that the waiting staff have eyes and notice the difference between all the different woman they bring along to dine with....

FasterStronger Sun 17-Mar-13 17:53:17

TallDwarf - i think you are doing the right thing using the information you have but you also need to keep your powder dry.

maybe lay low for a few days/weeks and watch him carefully?
i would be worried about the pressure on anyone in a disguise finding their partner cheating. also he does seem to be hiding something, but there are other possibilities.

Talldwarf: don't go, you'll get support here. Your DP sounds as though he's been awful to you for a while.

everlong Sun 17-Mar-13 17:54:25

I can't believe that someone hiding an affair would take their bit on the side to somewhere where they know the wife.
Unless they want to be caught of course.

My mother walked in on my father with another woman.

She simply said, "don't come home, you don't live there anymore"

That was after 30 years of marriage & god knows how many affairs.

ivykaty44 Sun 17-Mar-13 17:54:44

everlong - how would a woman know why men are so stupid - but they do take woman to the same restaurant as their wives. Mine wanted me to give the baby the same name as the ow confusedangry and sad

ImTooHecsyForYourParty Sun 17-Mar-13 17:55:21

Please take care. I hope you are wrong, obviously, but if you are not, please be careful. You don't know how he will react to your sudden appearance.

ivykaty44 Sun 17-Mar-13 17:55:52

sorry that should be some men are so stupid, not all men

Gruffalump Sun 17-Mar-13 17:56:09

Best of luck Op.

Hopefully it's a misunderstanding, but if not then I can see that you need to do whatever it takes to set your mind at ease.

Loulybelle Sun 17-Mar-13 17:57:14

Katy Please tell me you dont mean name the baby after the ow.

Good luck TallDwarf, will be thinking of you.

MimmeeBack Sun 17-Mar-13 17:58:24

His behaviour is odd, I would be suspicious but don't know that I would go that far. Depends on background I suppose.
Good luck op.

Loulybelle Sun 17-Mar-13 17:58:42

Btw, men do that sort of thing because they get cocky thinking they can get away with taking the piss.

morethanpotatoprints Sun 17-Mar-13 17:58:46

IvyKaty

OMG there are no other words.

Loulybelle Sun 17-Mar-13 17:59:53

OP, come back and tell us if your were right.

MikeLitoris Sun 17-Mar-13 18:00:23

I have a few favourite restaurants, I doubt any of the staff know me or my my dp though.

Favourite doesnt mean that they eat there weekly and are on speaking terms with the staff.

Nagoo Sun 17-Mar-13 18:01:13

Men often lack imagination, I can easily see that he would take a OW to a restaurant that he knows is nice.

everlong Sun 17-Mar-13 18:03:18

Nice maybe nagoo but not one where his wife is known.

Wonderland121 Sun 17-Mar-13 18:04:17

Good luck op I hope there is no OW hmm
Stay safe

WandaDoff Sun 17-Mar-13 18:04:57

Good luck OP

Same restaurants same pubs same hotels same holidays. Some people are total tits, well my friends exp was anyway.

nkf Sun 17-Mar-13 18:05:40

Why do you need a disguise? What if he walks in with his business partner and you are there in your wig? And they both recognise you?

I am totally with you in that it sounds worrying and his behaviour is "off" but is this really the way to go?

FamiliesShareGerms Sun 17-Mar-13 18:07:59

Is it really so hard to imagine that he could be meeting a woman for (genuine) business reasons? Why assume even if he is having dinner with a woman that it must be an Other Woman?

OP, if you do go tonight, please don't go in disguise and try to catch him out. I can't see any possible way that will end well

SilverSnake Sun 17-Mar-13 18:08:00

I would do the same thing as you op including wig and scarf over my head.

If ow is there ask her name as your filing for devorce under adultary and that he no longer has a home with you.

If he see you have seen him and ow he cant denie it.

SayMama Sun 17-Mar-13 18:09:02

Good luck op

BarredfromhavingStella Sun 17-Mar-13 18:10:01

OP, please don't go through with this plan as it's a lose/lose situation if you do-if you're right then it's a fucking awful way to find out & if you're wrong you will have fucked the relationship over for nothing as what you did tonight will come out at some point.
What you should do is ring him & tell him you're not happy with the situation & why & state an explanation in person is required right now.

NaturalBlondeYeahRight Sun 17-Mar-13 18:11:00

We do support you OP, I think you have convinced yourself that this is the time you catch him at it (suspicions for some time I see). This might feel quite exciting/an adrenaline rush. You need to think about what you will do if its all seemingly innocent.

Bluelightsandsirens Sun 17-Mar-13 18:11:07

Goodness, please stay safe.

mum11970 Sun 17-Mar-13 18:11:47

Good luck op, hope everything works out ok for you.

AvonCallingBarksdale Sun 17-Mar-13 18:12:11

Good luck , OP and don't feel that you can't come back for support.

SilverSnake Sun 17-Mar-13 18:12:33

Also take photos on your phone as evidance.

If its his business partner and they see you laugh and say you came to suprise dh and a little roll paly and hotel stay was a sex fantasy of yours wink

scaevola Sun 17-Mar-13 18:13:15

Families it is hard to think a woman is the business contact, when OP has posted that she knew this particular business is being conducted with a man.

scaevola Sun 17-Mar-13 18:14:01

Though, Families I suppose adultery doesn't have to be heterosexual.

ivykaty44 Sun 17-Mar-13 18:14:55

Yes sad I was three months pg and he suggested ow name if it was a girl - I didn't know he was having an affair at this point, she has a more unusual name and when the affair was found out by me and I then found out her name....

Loulybelle Sun 17-Mar-13 18:16:18

Wow Katy, what an arsehole.

SilverSnake Sun 17-Mar-13 18:16:19

Ivykaty sad angry

Good luck TD, I hope it goes well for you.

ivykaty44 Sun 17-Mar-13 18:19:19

Op please be careful, you are running on a lot of emotions at them moment so it may be wise to put the brakes on and stop, slow down a bit and think about what yo are doing.

If there is something wrong and I think you are right - what will it acheive going there tonight? As others have said it is a lose lose situation.

Could you instead phone the partner and ask him a couple of awkward questions?

AndFanjoWasHisNameO Sun 17-Mar-13 18:19:42

sad Oh TallDwarf poor you. I know what you meant by a thrill-it's just pure adrenaline.
I'd probably do the same fwiw and have done just stay safe , do you have a friend that can come with you or even sit in the restaurant rather than you ? Whereabouts are you ? If you're near me I'll bloody meet you sad

OP, please come back and tell us. You do what you feel you have to do in life. In your situation, I'd be too coward to confront this so good on ya!

DontmindifIdo Sun 17-Mar-13 18:20:33

OP - I don't think you sound crazy, I think you sound determined. If you are certain that it doesn't sound right, then go for it.

He's lying to you, the question is, what about. I think an affair sounds about right.

That said, if he rolls in with a bunch of guys, all hammered dressed in Green singing "oh danny boy" try not to be too annoyed...

ivykaty44 Sun 17-Mar-13 18:22:23

please don't be sorry - it was a long time ago a now as she is nearly 16, plus she has a beautiful name

I was trying to make the point for everlong that men/woman having affairs do the most awful things along with their deceit that as a normal person we think - don't be silly they woudln't do that!

Loulybelle Sun 17-Mar-13 18:24:30

Katy, oh i know the idiocy men going too, its so obvious sometimes you nearly miss it.

QOD Sun 17-Mar-13 18:24:34

Good luck op. hope its nothing!

LondonNinja Sun 17-Mar-13 18:27:24

FWIW, I don't think you're crazy. You know your DP best, after all. It always annoys me when people on here are slated for following up suspicion when given good cause! And the assertion that TD should simply ask what's up, having been treated with such anger, is very naive.

Good luck OP. Hope you're ok. Please let us know.

mum382013 Sun 17-Mar-13 18:28:23

good luck op xxxx

everlong Sun 17-Mar-13 18:28:35

I'm sorry ivy that your ex was so awful.

I'm was just making the point that the people who I know that have had affairs would definitely not have taken their other man or woman to somewhere where their partners were known. Ime it's usually cloak and dagger.

AnneEyhtMeyer Sun 17-Mar-13 18:31:37

IME everlong it isn't cloak and dagger. Regular customers we would chat to would come in with their wives and then their OW. It was shameless. They are cocky and know waiting staff are hardly going to jeopardise their jobs by outing them.

ivykaty44 Sun 17-Mar-13 18:32:18

everlong - no usually it isn't clock and dagger - it is a mixture of the two which makes life a buzz and exciting, it is living life on the edge for a lot of men/woman that gets the adrenalin mixed up with the lust and they think it is love sad

ivykaty44 Sun 17-Mar-13 18:34:00

Can we get back to supporting OP please as I think that is what is needed tonight

everlong Sun 17-Mar-13 18:35:47

I'm not arguing. I am going off what people I know who have had affairs. That's all.

Hope you are OK , OP

Piemother Sun 17-Mar-13 18:38:40

Hope the op is ok. I'm hoping she knows a female friend nearby she cn go and get smashed with if she was right hmm

SilverSnake Sun 17-Mar-13 18:39:15

We dont know if op will be back but I hate to think of her in the dark on a bus all alone feeling everything and no support.

Maybe we should have suggested she take a rl friend with her?

Hope she is ok sad

Sounds suspicious. Hope you are ok OP, good luck... I agree with Piemother - have you got a friend who can go with you/ be nearby?

DrHolmes Sun 17-Mar-13 18:40:42

I am feeling nervous for OP.

Good luck

CornflowerB Sun 17-Mar-13 18:40:49

People do act very oddly when they are having affairs. My old boss (female) took myself and some other colleagues to the same bar where she had started her affair with a married man (and went to regularly) and bought us all the same cocktails that they used to drink. It was very uncomfortable. God knows what the bar staff thought.

I'd think he'd planned a piss up with his business partner. St Patricks day drinks.

Good luck.

WakeyCakey Sun 17-Mar-13 18:46:04

OP I would be doing the same in your position, in fact I've come close.
I was totally wrong and it turned out that DP was in fact doing exactly what he said he was and we know laugh about it.
It made us evaluate our relationship and understand that we had problems that needed sorting.

We are very happy now.
I really hope you have a similar outcome

aldiwhore Sun 17-Mar-13 18:50:41

I think you are absolutely wrong to go TallDwarf if you're right, you are going to look ridiculus turning up in a wig and glasses, if you're wrong same applies and you'll probably lose all chance of reconciliation with your DH.

I would be absolutely mortified if I was having a business meal and my DH turned up in a fake moustache and wig and, on knowing his suspicions were wrong, pretended that he'd stalked me as a nice surprise. It would be game over.

I do sympathise with you but you are not acting in YOUR best interests, and anyone who advises this completely nuts behaviour hasn't got your best interests at heart either.

You should not take this action, not unless you're 100% sure, 100%, and even then you should do it without a disguise, and have some support around you. I know, I've been there... if your suspicions are right, you're going to be alone, feeling a twat in a wig and glasses with no support. This will not end well.

Sugarice Sun 17-Mar-13 18:59:17

OP, please take care .

If you're reading this come back for support and advice, you're undeniably anxious and upset.

SpringyReframed Sun 17-Mar-13 19:00:27

Oh dear OP, I am so worried for you. I've been in a similar position too. Do not underestimate how good your instinct is or how much adrenalin will flow through your veins if you catch him out. You can end up very out of control. Dont be on your own and dont be on a bus. It is thoroughly understandable that you want to do it but please call a rl friend.

everlong Sun 17-Mar-13 19:03:39

I reckon the St Patrick piss up might be more like it like someone else said up thread.

BarredfromhavingStella Sun 17-Mar-13 19:05:19

No what's naive is thinking what OP is doing is a good idea on any level hmm
Like I said originally, this plan will end in tears, the OP's.

MrsKeithRichards Sun 17-Mar-13 19:05:53

aldiwhore I agree one hundred percent and I think those encouraging the op are doing so for their own morbid entertainment and dressing it up as support.

Euphemia Sun 17-Mar-13 19:08:33

TallDwarf You were on MN last August saying things were going badly, and again in November making plans to leave him. What changed?

I don't think anyone has been encouraging the OP with the wig and glasses covert operation, in my opinion too, it is not a good idea, but it has appeared the OP has definitely decided on this and already gone to do this, so all we can do now is support her, she must already be feeling terrible.

Crawling Sun 17-Mar-13 19:16:36

Op Ive just read thread and im so sorry you are going through this. Please come back and ignore people who are being unsupportive.

TeamEdward Sun 17-Mar-13 19:19:43

I can't decide how I feel about this. One one hand you are brave to be confronting him about this, but on the other hand it cannot end well. An event like this is a game-changer. What if this is all innocent?

happylass Sun 17-Mar-13 19:23:02

OP I totally understand your need for answers but please be careful. As others have said if this is all totally innocent it could completely destroy your relationship. Hope you have someone with you. Please, please come back to let us all know that you're ok.

Chavvytastic Sun 17-Mar-13 19:23:26

Hope you manage to read some of these posts OP - hopefully on your phone whilst you are out this evening. You have alot of support here, so please come back.

Do you have anyone you can take with you or if you let us know where you are perhaps a mumsnetter could meet you.

LemonPeculiarJones Sun 17-Mar-13 19:23:49

Do come back OP. I don't think you're being crazy at all. I think it's far crazier to sit home going out of your mind. You've been proactive in a horrible situation and empowered yourself, rather than feeling stranded without all the information.

More power to you.

LondonNinja Sun 17-Mar-13 19:29:38

No one has encouraged OP - she decided to do it. She says she has had suspicions for a while, she's hardly doing this for sport. Some of you are rather smug, making her out to be a nutter. Have you walked a mile in her shoes?!

I hope you have a RL person you can talk to, OP. Someone who, preferably, won't judge you (!)

Stay safe. And tell someone where you are. And have money for a taxi.

redandyellowandpinkandgreen Sun 17-Mar-13 19:30:36

I hope everything's okay OP.

Delatron Sun 17-Mar-13 19:36:59

I think fair play to the OP. She says she has had suspicions for a while, she wants answers and this is the only way she can get them. Good for her.

The main worry, as many have pointed out, is the lack of support. She needs a friend with her/near her if her suspicions are correct. Hope she can get this support from somewhere, quickly, if needs be. Good luck OP.

MadamFolly Sun 17-Mar-13 19:38:58

Good luck OP, please don't leave the thread.

NormaStanleyFletcher Sun 17-Mar-13 19:40:06

I hope she is ok.

WhatTheWaterGaveMe Sun 17-Mar-13 19:40:58

OP, I don't think you're crazy. I know how you feel. You go to crazy detective lengths to find something out. It completely takes over.

I'm not saying you're doing the right thing - I just know how you feel and you're not "crazy".

A lot of you are taking the wig thing out of hand - she said she wears wigs all the time, so it's just a different one he won't recognise.

I hope you're ok, do come back for support either way x x

Crawling Sun 17-Mar-13 19:42:29

Oh and as for the wig thing my step brothers mother used to wear them all the time I dont think its crazy.

Sausagedog27 Sun 17-Mar-13 19:44:02

Good luck op- hope you are ok x

clam Sun 17-Mar-13 19:47:09

Wining and dining a client on a Sunday?

MammaTJ Sun 17-Mar-13 19:47:15

Too late for advice I guess. Good luck OP.

GreenEggsAndNichts Sun 17-Mar-13 19:49:20

Not sure why people are being hard on the OP. Sometimes you just need an answer, and men who are manipulative will blame you (or, her, in this case) for any perceived slight until the cows come home. She won't be able to get answers from him, and if she's bold enough to do this, good for her.

Again, good luck OP.

OP, if you regularly wear wigs then won't your dh recognise you with this particular wig on? You would need to drastically alter your clothes, the way you walk etc for him not to recognise you..

Good luck. I hope your suspiciaons are unfounded.

Please do come back and update us, if only to tell some sceptics "I told you so" smile

Geordieminx Sun 17-Mar-13 19:56:26

Good lunch

Geordieminx Sun 17-Mar-13 19:56:51

Luck even blush

Good luck x

Fakebook Sun 17-Mar-13 19:58:12

I don't know why people are finding op's wig thing so strange. Quick search tells me she also owns a fancy dress condom wrapper suit too.

buttercrumble Sun 17-Mar-13 19:58:41

Good luck and take care, will be thinking about you tonight. Please let us know how you are x flowers

MrsKeithRichards Sun 17-Mar-13 20:02:54

Fancy dress condom wrapper suit? Wtf?

Crawling Sun 17-Mar-13 20:06:15

I would love to see a pic of a condom wrapper suit.

LayMizzRarb Sun 17-Mar-13 20:07:30

If I were your DH, and innocent of any wrong doing, if you turned up in disguise, it would just scream of 'I do not trust you'.
Put the wig and glasses back in your bag.

Sounds itchy. confused

MidnightMasquerader Sun 17-Mar-13 20:09:10

I don't know why people are finding op's wig thing so strange. Quick search tells me she also owns a fancy dress condom wrapper suit too.

Ah, right... That makes it much less strange.

hmm

threesypeesy Sun 17-Mar-13 20:09:20

I really hope this goes well. Good luck op i think your very brave for confronting your fears head on.

I hope you come back or have some rl support as some of your previous threads have shown your not in a great place at the minute and have had some very dark times and thoughts in the past. I hope your ok and to remember there's alot of support on here if you need it from some amazing posters

CookieLady Sun 17-Mar-13 20:09:45

Fakebook ???

Fakebook Sun 17-Mar-13 20:11:45

Ah, right... That makes it much less strange

Well at least she opted for the wig and glasses rather than the condom suit. grin.

Crawling Sun 17-Mar-13 20:13:32

fakebook grin

NotMostPeople Sun 17-Mar-13 20:14:04

Any news?

AuntieMaggie Sun 17-Mar-13 20:16:52

I'm lurking hoping the OP is ok and has found he just wanted a night to himself...

Maryz Sun 17-Mar-13 20:17:01

The condom suit might have been more appropriate in the circumstances.

JengaBlock Sun 17-Mar-13 20:17:51

Good luck op, hope all is ok.

Talkinpeace Sun 17-Mar-13 20:18:39

and if he and his business partner are actually brainstorming spreadsheets, laptops in hand with black coffee on tap ?

GirlOutNumbered Sun 17-Mar-13 20:19:02

Would he maybe tell porkies if he wants to get pissed for st Patrick's day? Some men are such cowards and can't just say, look I want to go out with friends and get drunk!
Mind you on second thoughts, she said there is a restaurant booked.... That doesn't sound like drunken fun.

How are you, OP?

milf90 Sun 17-Mar-13 20:22:36

Good luck op!

TweedSlacks Sun 17-Mar-13 20:26:34

" wearing a condom suit passing out free condoms to hotel guests "

I hope you do / dont find what you are looking for TD. I cant see a good ending to this as either way pretty much all trust is gone.

If he was intending to go for drinks 'on a school night' as its Paddys day then why not just ask or tell TD "Look , I am going for a Paddys day drink with some guys from work , it will be a late one so we are going to do a few hours work beforehand as we wont be in on monday morning as we will be in bed doing smelly farts and moaning that we drank too much" , then fair enough.

If your gut is saying otherwise then there probably is something odd going on .

onelittlemonkey Sun 17-Mar-13 20:28:54

Good luck OP. X

JaquelineHyde Sun 17-Mar-13 20:33:50

I hope everything is ok op and that you get some kind of answers from your trip out tonight even though they may not be the answers you want.

I hope OP feels she can come back for support sad

fuzzpig Sun 17-Mar-13 20:43:38

His behaviour sounds really suspicious. I can't imagine DH vehemently turning down a child-free evening in a hotel with his wife (even in preference to a st Patrick's day piss up - but then he doesn't really do 'nights out' anyway TBF) - wouldn't most busy/stressed parents jump at the chance?

Anyway I'm late to this thread but hope everything's ok sad

Saffra Sun 17-Mar-13 20:49:19

Oh my word, feeling anxious on OP's behalf. Hope everything is ok.

roastednut Sun 17-Mar-13 20:52:28

Please come back and let us know what happened op. You've had a lot of support here and people are worried about you.

MammaTJ Sun 17-Mar-13 21:08:05

I rather think the OP will be dealing with whatever the situation is right now and too busy to come back and update us as yet.

Yfronts Sun 17-Mar-13 21:09:04

I'd do exactly the same as you - wig and all. Hope it's not what you suspect!

Cannierelax Sun 17-Mar-13 21:27:19

Op, are you okay? I hate to think of you alone at this moment, when you came on here for support.

Happydotcom Sun 17-Mar-13 21:46:47

Good luck OP thanks

TallDwarf Sun 17-Mar-13 21:57:11

Well I went, saw him strut in with his arm round her waist looking oh so fucking smug. He didn't recognise me till after I slapped him.

I'm home now, MIL has got ds for the night so I plan on getting very drunk and falling asleep crying sad I do appreciate the concern but I don't think I'll come back to this thread. I just need to deal with RL for now sad

TheSecondComing Sun 17-Mar-13 21:59:19

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mum382013 Sun 17-Mar-13 21:59:45

oh how awful but good for you. did he say anything? did she know he was married?

Bluelightsandsirens Sun 17-Mar-13 21:59:53

I'm so sorry you but instinct was spot on sad

Take a day or two please know you will receive lots of support here if you choose to return.

<hug>

mum382013 Sun 17-Mar-13 22:00:10

meant to say xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

AThingInYourLife Sun 17-Mar-13 22:00:11

Well if you do need support getting through what happened next, you'll get it in spades here.

Sorry it was what you thought sad

peppapigmustdie Sun 17-Mar-13 22:00:27

I am so sorry that your worst fears were true, but please do come back to this thread as there is support here for you.

Thinkingof4 Sun 17-Mar-13 22:00:37

sad angry

Sorry talldwarf
What a twat he is

Bluelightsandsirens Sun 17-Mar-13 22:00:42

* your gut instinct not but hmm

50shadesofknackered Sun 17-Mar-13 22:01:39

That's awful! What a bastard! Oh op, I can't imagine how crap you feel! You can get through this, don't leave the thread you will get loads of advice and support here.

LandofTute Sun 17-Mar-13 22:01:47

Sorry your fears were confirmed OP. You will get a lot of support on Mnet if you want it. The Relationships board is very good.

FaceCake Sun 17-Mar-13 22:02:02

Oh TD take care of yourself, make sure you've got people in rl to help you through this. What a bastard.

SweetSeraphim Sun 17-Mar-13 22:02:19

You'll be surprised how much support you can get here, OP. Don't leave the thread, just post when you can. People are here to help.

I'm so sorry TD sad

QOD Sun 17-Mar-13 22:04:21

Oh man.

We are here for you

SpringyReframed Sun 17-Mar-13 22:04:49

Really sorry OP. Do come back and post. You will get wonderful support here not to mention a great chance to vent.

Ullena Sun 17-Mar-13 22:04:54

Don't get drunk alone op. Get someone round. If you have to be alone, stick to hot chocolate, cake and icecream. Or a kebab. Comfort eating is fully justified at times like this sad

As for him...change the locks time!

2anddone Sun 17-Mar-13 22:05:32

Sorry to hear that TD hope you get support either in rl or on here x <hugs>

nkf Sun 17-Mar-13 22:06:11

Don't get too drunk. You'll feel worse tomorrow.

mum11970 Sun 17-Mar-13 22:07:08

So sorry TD. Don't run away from MN, the relationship board is full of useful information and hand holding.

sad

StillStuck Sun 17-Mar-13 22:09:40

so sorry to hear that sad I hope you get lots of real life support. and the relationships board is really supportive as well. take care of your self.

Talkinpeace Sun 17-Mar-13 22:09:48

I am SO SO sorry that I was wrong.
Well done for slapping him.

Masai Sun 17-Mar-13 22:10:19

What a total cunt sad am so so sorry for you. Don't feel like you have to post just cos everyone is telling you to. You have good instincts sweety. Use them now to do what feels right for you and your little one.

Cut up all his nice suits, get pissed and cry yourself to sleep. Then in the morning consider what you need to do next. Right now its shock and feeling sick... So give in to it for a bit.

You sound like such a lovely woman. So please please let ppl help you in real life that know you xxx

Oh, TD I'm sorry.

I was lurking, wondering what to advise, then saw you'd gone to do a bit of detective work. I'm sorry your suspicions were confirmed.

Please don't leave MN, and please don't get too drunk.

As others have said, please do let people here and in RL help you. Oh, and take the bastard for every penny.

makemineapinot Sun 17-Mar-13 22:15:55

So sorry tall dwarf, but you know now and you will get support here. Take care and come back here you will get tons of really good advice. Look after yourself.

threesypeesy Sun 17-Mar-13 22:18:09

So sorry op xx

MammaTJ Sun 17-Mar-13 22:18:14

Sorry you were right. I was hoping he would be meeting a real live business contact!

CabbageLeaves Sun 17-Mar-13 22:18:15

His loss TD. You will recover and be better off without such a low life

What a cunt.

mummymccar Sun 17-Mar-13 22:20:42

So sorry Tall xxx

I speak as someone who discovered her (now ex) dp was cheating on the day i brought our first (and only) child home from hospital...you will get over this. You deserve better. You will get better.
For now, cry, scream, eat as much as you want - try to avoid too much alcohol <voice of experience>, share with other people. Be strong. Look after yourself. He is not worth it.

Loulybelle Sun 17-Mar-13 22:39:04

Oh jeez, what a shit think to see, i hope hes humiliated.

Euphemia Sun 17-Mar-13 22:39:07

Well your mind should be clear now.

Kick the bastard's arse out once and for all. There's no more chances.

sad

happylass Sun 17-Mar-13 22:41:26

So, so sorry that your suspicions were right. As others have said he doesn't deserve you. Please look after yourself and come back here if you feel you need to talk (( hugs ))

Cuddlydragon Sun 17-Mar-13 22:42:35

God, I'm so sorry Dwarf. What a bastard. Hope you take every penny you can. Change your locks and secure all financial paperwork you can.

toomanyfionas Sun 17-Mar-13 22:43:14

Oh no, I am so sorry to hear your worst fears were confirmed.
And I also feel bad that you've had some mean posts upthread. Your idea to go in the wig & glasses was great, I'll always remember it.
You smelt a rat, you asked for information, were fobbed off and were left to do your own detective work - and you did a great job. Just so sorry you were on your own.

What is your MIL's take on this? Do you have good RL friends?

Sorry OP, it doesn't get much worse than this. x

ChocolateCoins Sun 17-Mar-13 22:45:09

Hope you are okay op sad well done for slapping him. What a bastard. Don't get too drunk though.

You will get over this TD.

He's so not worth your tears - hard to believe right now, but it will get easier.

Don't leave MN, there are so many people on here who will have experience and will be able to help you.

FasterStronger Sun 17-Mar-13 22:52:49

really sorry.

I can imagine you are feeling very alone, but many women on MN have had the same experience and, with time, they have gone on to live happy lives.

katiecubs Sun 17-Mar-13 22:58:27

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

TheSecondComing Sun 17-Mar-13 23:01:03

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bluelightsandsirens Sun 17-Mar-13 23:02:25

Katie if you have suspicions it's best practice to report to HQ instead of upsetting the op further with false claims of trip trap posted on the thread.

I have no issue with the thread and think its vile to post directly when the op may be in genuine need of support.

AndFanjoWasHisNameO Sun 17-Mar-13 23:02:51

Oh TD sad so so sorry your instinct was correct. Please lean on some RL people but we are all here if and when you need support. Massive hugs to you <unmumsnetty>

Snoopingforsoup Sun 17-Mar-13 23:08:54

How awful. Instincts are usually correct in my experience.
I'm glad you have a fab MIL.
Look after yourself. Remember, this misery will pass eventually.
((Hugs))

sydlexic Sun 17-Mar-13 23:18:30

Katie, I don't think there is anything wrong with your instincts.

HildaOgden Sun 17-Mar-13 23:26:59

However far fetched and unbelieveable this may have sounded as the thread progressed,I really really hope you're ok op.

(on a side note,sydlexic might have won my vote for most clever username)

TheChaoGoesMu Sun 17-Mar-13 23:28:59

I'm sorry op. What a complete and utter shithead.

Hope you're ok OP sad

Greebish Sun 17-Mar-13 23:38:34

Oh sad

olivertheoctopus Sun 17-Mar-13 23:42:07

What a fucking shitbag. Hope MIL is understanding and ashamed of her son.

Oh dear, I'm so sorry your instincts were right Talldwarf. don't get too plastered, you'll need to get your head clear for the morning. Un MN <hugs> to you.

HillBilly76 Mon 18-Mar-13 03:42:40

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

scratchandsniff Mon 18-Mar-13 03:49:41

So sorry for this outcome. I had really hoped he'd gone on a bender. Hope you have some good friends that you can lean on. Ultimately you'll be better off without the wanker.

Katie - well done on making the OP feel even more shit than she already did

mabongwen Mon 18-Mar-13 04:11:33

Ok so let me see if I've got this;

Op has been suspicious of H for a while.
H suddenly announces he needs to work on Sunday.
Op sends e-mail but only gets a reply via text.
H then says he needs to stay the night in a hotel.
Op rings H to say she can come stay the night, but H is outraged by this.
Op then plans for MIL to look after DC so she can go investigate.
Op decided to go in disguise with a natural wig and glasses.
Op knows where H will be eating by phonin favourite resteraunts.
OP arrives at said restaurant to witness scummy H with OW ariving, she dlaps him and leaves.

All I can say is, I am truly sorry that your H has treated you like this, and offer sympathy thanks

To those questioning OP's credibility its not your place to do so, if ot is TRUE its a rather sad story, if it isn't TRUE then that's that but you can't go around pointing at people shouting LIAR! sad

Mimishimi Mon 18-Mar-13 04:39:26

But why wear a wig and glasses? Surely he wouldn't see you before walking in with someone else if you were tucked away in a corner anyway? You'd only want to wear those if you were following someone, no? It does sound a bit like a potboiler, my sympathies if it's real though.

riveroise Mon 18-Mar-13 06:17:58

Truth is stranger than fiction sometimes, and I believe the OP.

Rather then preparing business papers and sorting out his briefcase, he could have spent a long time getting ready, slapping on the aftershave, admiring himself in the mirror and wearing his fanciest clothes...and then leaving his laptop at home. He could also have spent the last few weeks glued to his phone etc etc.

What a b**stard!

MusicalEndorphins Mon 18-Mar-13 06:19:04

I'm sorry it turned out this way.

foofooyeah Mon 18-Mar-13 06:27:40

God, you are well rid of hm. Well done for confronting the bastard. Good luck TD.

bigbuttons Mon 18-Mar-13 06:40:37

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

TobyLerone Mon 18-Mar-13 06:49:31

Katie, I don't think there is anything wrong with your instincts.

grin

Branleuse Mon 18-Mar-13 07:18:39

Im sorry op x

newbiefrugalgal Mon 18-Mar-13 07:34:18

Searches history of OP, she had talked of trouble with him in the past (aug 12) about shared custody. Also mentioned history of self harm.

Please leave OP alone she does need MN help and RL help.

Hmmm.....

FeistyLass Mon 18-Mar-13 07:40:11

op, I know this is hard but at least he can't talk himself out of this (although he'll probably still try but don't let him). There are a lot of people on MN who can support you through the next steps so if you do need advice or to vent then the Relationships board is a good place to start.

fuzzpig Mon 18-Mar-13 08:02:37

sad

Hope you tell MIL before he gets to her with his lies.

Put his stuff in bin bags.

Crawling Mon 18-Mar-13 08:03:51

oh op im so sorry.

LittleBairn Mon 18-Mar-13 08:24:16

For those that question the wig you must have truly sheltered lives if your s supprised at a women having a wig. Many do for all sorts of reasons such as being Jewish, Alopecia or they just like wearing them.

SayCoolNowSayWhip Mon 18-Mar-13 08:33:04

I'm really quite saddened at the lack of support from some people on here. OP came on with a serious problem and instead of support received accusations of drip feeding and trolling.

Not on.

Any suspicions should be reported to MNHQ not splashed about on the thread - OP clearly has enough to deal with without people assuming the worst of her.

It's threads like these that make people with issues reticent to post because of the reception they might receive.

Hope you're ok TalkDwarf.

MidnightMasquerader Mon 18-Mar-13 08:38:37

It's not the owning of a wig that's causing some people to question...

GirlOutNumbered Mon 18-Mar-13 08:39:21

Is any where safe from the MN judgeypants?

MikeLitoris Mon 18-Mar-13 08:48:02

Even if this is a work of fiction there will be women reading this going through similar. The witch hunting is going to put people off posting and getting the help they need.

If you have doubts report the thread.

Troll hunting on a thread like this makes you look like a bit of a twat tbh.

LittleBairn Mon 18-Mar-13 08:56:17

midnight Shock horror people who own wigs wear them. WTF are they supposed to do with them!?

ChocsAwayInMyGob Mon 18-Mar-13 09:02:43

I think some posters have given the OP a rough ride on here.She was obviously feeling very vulnerable and some people have still been pretty horrible. She's hurting enough. Having posters being horrible can hurt when you're in a good mood, imagine how much it must hurt when your world is falling apart.

By the way, a friend of mine has wigs just to wear different looks. It's pretty common these days, like hair extensions and hairpieces to make a chignon looks bigger etc.

NormaStanleyFletcher Mon 18-Mar-13 09:07:38

Hope you are OK OP.

Ignore the nasty fuckers.

MidnightMasquerader Mon 18-Mar-13 09:09:12

Going incognito in a wig to trail your husband is, at best, misguided.

But look, I don't want to make it worse for the OP. I was simply pointing out that it's not the owning/wearing of wigs per se that was making people wonder.

YouTheCat Mon 18-Mar-13 09:10:14

OP, I hope you are okay.

seriouscakeeater Mon 18-Mar-13 09:11:26

If this thread is true, the op dh is an utter shite.
I can understand why op slapped him but the shouts of well done of many posters is alarming. If it was dh that slapped op then there would be calls of phone police its assault. what if the restaurant had phoned police?
What if dh had slapped her back? There is never any excuse for violence , sorry, it shouldn't be congratulated.

Puddlelane Mon 18-Mar-13 09:19:54

You poor thing TD
I know you won't be thinking clearly but sort finances out now as much as you can.
Pack his bags.

I'm so sorry what am awful man.

I would have done exactly the same thing

beginnings Mon 18-Mar-13 09:20:47

TallDwarf well done for following your instincts, that took real courage. All the very best for the future, especially while you sort all of this out.

HappyHippyChick Mon 18-Mar-13 09:27:15

I posted a thread a while back and had posters think it sounded unlikely and said so. It did seem far fetched but was absolutely true and although the thread was lighthearted it upset me a bit. I can't imagine how I would feel if I posted something as devestating as this and people were accusing me of trollery.

If you think there is something funny about a thread follow the talk guidelines and report, don't come on a sensitive thread and post your suspicions. As a previous poster put very succinctly - it makes you look like a twat.

Op, I hope you have someone to support you in RL, I am sorry you are going through this, good luck.

Branleuse Mon 18-Mar-13 09:31:56

ive had posters accuse me of not being real just for diagreeing.

Also people get pissed off and accusatory if the OP doesnt return quick enough to update and fuel their need for gossipy info.

Pure curiosity, rather than caring.

TheSecondComing Mon 18-Mar-13 09:45:14

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hillyhilly Mon 18-Mar-13 09:49:33

Bloody hell, the more mumsnet I read the sadder I get about how many men think they can behave with such total disregard for their partners.
So sorry your suspicions were correct tall dwarf, take care of yourself

LondonNinja Mon 18-Mar-13 09:52:42

OP, there are some utter shitbag wanker judgypants smug arse fuckers on this thread. Ignore them. They talk shit and are probably incapable of empathising, poor things.

I am so sorry that your suspicions were right. I hope there are people in RL on whom you can rely. I can totally see why you wouldn't want to come back here after the offence you've had to read here, but there are lots of people with practical advice and support who could be of use.

everlong Mon 18-Mar-13 10:16:28

' ignore the nasty fuckers '

Where are they?

Seems to me some of you like somebody else's drama a bit too much.

everlong Mon 18-Mar-13 10:17:49

Fucking hell LondonNinja you need to get a grip.

gordyslovesheep Mon 18-Mar-13 10:19:53

London ninja ...don't be so hard on yourself

LadyBeagleEyes Mon 18-Mar-13 10:20:36

Wow London, do you really need to use quite such aggressive language. One word would have done you know confused
I think you're getting a bit personally involved here.

mabongwen Mon 18-Mar-13 10:22:38

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

Dillydollydaydream Mon 18-Mar-13 10:33:47

sad so sorry to read the update.

SilverSnake Mon 18-Mar-13 11:13:19

At least you have the answer you needed. Hope you took photos in case he denies it.

Has he come back or tried to contact you?

Where do you want to go from here?

What did MIL say?

KateSMumsnet (MNHQ) Mon 18-Mar-13 12:06:38

Hello everyone,

Thank you to all those who reported this thread to us. We can see that there has been some troll hunting, which is against our talk guidelines. We have no reason to suspect that the OP is anything other than genuine, and we'd like to remind you all the Mumsnet is primarily a place to make parent's lives easier.

So sorry to hear your suspicions were right. sad Hope you have the real life support you need. Keep posting in the Relationships section, there are some wonderful posters there who have been where you are now and can help you through it.

Xenia Mon 18-Mar-13 12:59:14

Why would someone who has told her husband she is coming to the hotel be with the other woman when his wife arrived?

Because OP told him she wouldn't come Xenia

Pandemoniaa Mon 18-Mar-13 13:01:01

She didn't tell her husband she'd be at the hotel. She told him she could meet him at the hotel and he was so unimpressed at the idea that it validated her suspicions about things not being quite right. He had no idea she was actually going to turn up.

everlong Mon 18-Mar-13 13:02:15

Who knows Xenia.
Not many in their right mind I expect.

Xenia Mon 18-Mar-13 13:03:20

I thought I read yesterday she had told him MIL was baby sitting. Any man with an IQ about 100 would then make sure the other woman was immediately removed from the vicinity unless he has fallen in love and wants his marriage to break up to be with the love of his life, new woman of course.

everlong Mon 18-Mar-13 13:04:51

Maybe he wanted to be found out?

He'd been given the tipp off that his wife might come to the hotel so it seems very odd that he'd just go ahead anyway. I mean, why??

But he wouldn't tell her which hotel it was. Although he was at their favourite restaurant (not that he told her that)

seriouscakeeater Mon 18-Mar-13 13:12:12

Tbh I think some of the posts that were slightly doubtful were quite tame? The only posts that were getting hysterical were the posts by avid believers.
I honestly don't know why people invest so much emotional energy on either side. Give ur advice/opinion people don't have to start hair pulling confused

KateSMumsnet (MNHQ) Mon 18-Mar-13 13:16:02

Us again,

We're going to move this thread to relationships now, as we think it's the best place for it.

GirlOutNumbered Mon 18-Mar-13 13:25:24

ReAd the thread! She didn't go to the hotel, she went to the restaurant after telling DH she wouldn't come!

TallDwarf Mon 18-Mar-13 13:26:55

I didn't take photos but I doubt I'll need them. We're not married so no divorce needed and he'd be stupid to deny it now anyway. Plus MIL is fully aware of everything. She came round late last night and took me back to her house and has been looking after me since. There's nowhere to go from here, it's more than over.

I think I'm going to have to get this thread deleted now. I don't have the energy to deal with the troll hunting that is taking over it now. I'm sorry it doesn't look like a real situation, in fact I'd give anything for it to all be made up sad

I just wanted to update those that do care that I'm ok, just worn out.

Glad you are being looked after

Look after yourself tall

You deserve better x

buttercrumble Mon 18-Mar-13 13:30:12

Really hope you are ok, you will get through this. you need support from your good friends and family at this time, stay strong. x

TheCautionaryWhale Mon 18-Mar-13 13:32:47

thanks

TheCautionaryWhale Mon 18-Mar-13 13:33:43

You can post elsewhere for support if you do get this thread deleted tall
Plenty of us would like to listen smile

Sounds as though MIL is being very supporting, TD. I do hope you have some friends in RL that will have your back too.

Sorry that there are some nasty comments on here. Hopefully moving the thread will bring some people with helpful and constructive comments to the fore. Look after yourself. x

lysteddy Mon 18-Mar-13 13:34:14

Hi Tall i hope you are ok, nothing you have said sounds un truthful i hope you can get past this.

Sending you positive vibes.

Lys xxx

GirlOutNumbered Mon 18-Mar-13 13:55:28

Thanks for bothering to reply and update. Your MIL sounds brilliant. Its horrible to realise that your worst fears are true, in the long run you know that it is best that you found out, but it is so hard and hurtful to face up to it.

Stay strong, so may of us have been through it and are willing and happy to listen, should you need to chat.
Take care.

dadofnone Mon 18-Mar-13 14:22:32

LittleBairn. Genuine question. Why do Jewish women wear wigs? I'd never heard of that before.

Mumsyblouse Mon 18-Mar-13 14:42:26

Some orthodox jewish women cover their heads when they are out in public, so wear wigs or another head covering, I think it is to do with keeping their own hair private (i.e. for their husbands).

NormaStanleyFletcher Mon 18-Mar-13 14:52:42

I can understand why you might want the thread deleted. If you do, then do start another thread in relationships and take the care and support that WILL be offered by those who have been through this or similar.

So glad that your MIL sounds like a star

LittleBairn Mon 18-Mar-13 15:29:46

dad it's like the mumsy says its mostly orthodox Jewish women who wear wigs once they are married. A very small minority will also shave their heads ( usually those termed ultra orthodox) too partly because it comfortable and partly because they no longer need it to attract a man but many also wear head scarfs and hats outside the home instead of wigs. Amongst Jewish communities it really differs some feel that to wear a wig is cheating and it should be properly covered up.
They do it because it's one of their religious laws that they must cover their head once married, a women's hair is considered beautiful it's between her and her husband.

dadofnone Mon 18-Mar-13 15:42:52

littleBairn and mumsy. Thanks for that,
I'd never heard of that ritual before.

Oh love, what an out and out bastard. Please take care of yourself, you are so much better than that rancid sack of shit hmm

Horsemadhere Mon 18-Mar-13 16:25:48

Oh dear OP have just caught up on your thread.....
You were very brave last night, well done! I would of done exactly the same in your shoes.
The trouble is if it smell like a rat, then it usually is.
I'm pleased to hear you're being looked after.
Take care xx

noddyholder Mon 18-Mar-13 16:29:40

I admire you in many ways for tackling this head on immediately rather than dragging it out and waiting for his explanation as is often the case here! You know where you stand and in one day it is done and dusted as in you know its over. Hope things work out for you.

YouTheCat Mon 18-Mar-13 18:15:48

Keep strong OP. I think you did the right thing. At least you know for certain what a turd he is now, and so does his mother.

NotHoldenCaulfield Mon 18-Mar-13 18:54:36

Tall dwarf, I'm so sorry that this has happened to you. You have been incredibly
brave. It sounds like you have good RL support - I'm glad that you seem to have good people around you. You will get through this. Please ignore the unhelpful comments, you don't need the negativity. Take care.

ChairmanWow Mon 18-Mar-13 19:21:12

So sorry your worst suspicions were confirmed. It must have been devastating to see them together. What a turd he must be. Glad your MIL is supporting you, she sounds lovely. Take care and I hope all works out well for you thanks

sammysaidso Mon 18-Mar-13 19:47:28

Didn't want to read and run
No words only hugs, hope your ok.
Xxx

Omg what courage you have and well done for being so brave...sorry your oh is a lying cheating devil...you can get through this talldwar. i hope you are ok well as good as you can be considering the circumstance and the judgemental ppl previously, take care there is plenty of support here if and when you are ready love to you :-)

rhondajean Mon 18-Mar-13 23:09:29

Don't delete op, there will be much support coming your way now you are on this board and not on AIBU.

Bluelightsandsirens Mon 18-Mar-13 23:12:50

Hope those that doubted feel good about themselves and have learnt a valuable lesson.

Op so glad your MIL is supporting you and please don't feel threatens by those that no know better than to follow the guidelines.

MusicalEndorphins Tue 19-Mar-13 01:11:08

Glad your mil is so supportive, and wish you well for the future.

LovesBeingWokenEveryNight Tue 19-Mar-13 06:31:17

Hope you got some sleep op.

belagh Tue 19-Mar-13 07:21:35

Well done Tall for having the resolve to see this through. Sorry it had the out come it did.
I find that real life going tits up reads like a badly written soap, hence why I have never addressed my twunt issues on here but there are other sections of the boards where you would get less judgemental support.
Gut feelings and suspicions are from experience usually right and they make us do crazy things that are out of character. Take time now and look after yourself and ds. Pm me if you want to talk

NotAQueef Tue 19-Mar-13 10:24:39

So sorry TD. Look after yourself. If you need to talk things through - you can start a new thread, there are lots of us here who will be here to listen x

digerd Tue 19-Mar-13 13:57:34

OP
I want to say that I admired your determination to find out the truth, and it did sound very much like your suspicions to me.
About the wig and glasses, I thought again how resourceful and brave you were, and said to myself " Good for you".

Sorry it turned out as it did, but I knew it would after he turned stroppy about you wanting to meet him in his hotel in the evening.
He is a cheat and stupid with it.

TiggerWearsATriteSmile Thu 21-Mar-13 11:44:33

I read the start of this thread and just thought of you OP.
I'm sorry things turned out like they did.

Look after yourself.

Ruprekt Thu 21-Mar-13 19:00:55

Hows things TD?

digerd Fri 22-Mar-13 10:31:24

OP
What a lovely MIL you have. Hope she gave her son a right telling off.

Sorry sad

What a wanker.

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