Mumsnet Talk

all dating related chit chat here!

off we go

yoohoo daters waves

placemark of general smugness.

God, that time again???

Yep, again already!

What's the plan for Saturday Lubey?

OWW he's arriving about 2pm, so said I'd give him time to settle in and we'd meet about 6pm. Then the plan is drinks, dinner, drinks, drinks, and then presuming all is well and that and neither of us have run away screaming (unlikely both seen lots of pics etc and personalities seem to gel) then back to his room..

Don't get me wrong. I wear glasses. When I go out I'm often in contacts though. I can't say she looks better with the glasses off compared to on because the overall effect of big glasses and a big plastic beady chain is almost like a veil - its actually difficult to see how she looks at all. They're overpowering. She's not less attractive with them on, she's just obscured by brown plastic

And yes she's a geek. That is good. I'm seeing her on Wednesday when I'm back in the country. I think I may cancel date 3 with medstudent as I don't want to shag and dump, and don't want to stay with her out of guilt. And she's made clear date 3 would be mostly naked.

That sounds pretty good, you lucky thing you!

My Saturday evening from 6pm is likely to involve Hygiene Wars with the dcs and crap telly as its highlights ... When I am explaining through gritted teeth for the nth time why you aren't washed if you've not actually used any soap, there you will be swinging from the chandelier with a rose between your teeth (or something) and a hot man waiting in the wings. Jealous, moi???

That sounds like a good plan Bant re med student and also one of self-preservation - I'd not be surprised if getting nekkid induced new levels of bitiness to parts previously out of range ...

OWW the joys of having freedom as an adult! Something I've never had before in my adult life.

I went from school teen to mother to working and studying mother to single and working and studying mother through crap marriage out the other side doing the single and working and studying mum thing again but then joyously stopped needing babysitters about a year ago. It's... it's... a revelation! All so new and weird. Yet I have the benefit of years of experience too. So I can go out and be a bit wild but also avoid twats. I have to say I really do love it

My Saturday will have watching children climb up walls, going to see Oliver with them in a local theatre and then everyone going to bed a bit late. And hoping we all wake up late too

Tonight I will be all alone which is a litte unusual. May go running after dropping DC off with XH.

Very appositely, have just had a Wowcher e-mail through featuring hipster-style (read Scooby-style) glasses with clear lenses which are this season's hottest look. So I think you should just bow down before her gloriously trend-setting stylishness Bant and learn to love the glasses.

Lose the chain though.

Marking my spot .. Going to set up an OKC profile on Sunday when DD goes to her dad's .. Onward and upward and all that .. Had a few texts from Mr Cheeky while I was in New York which I have ignored .. He let me down for the last time last week

I'm hoping to tap the rich vein of gorgeous Glaswegians that lubey and wine have found (although us that on POF)

this thread series is fairly galloping along!

Hello new thread.

Got asked out on a date by a normal looking bloke on pof, only to receive a text from a friend asking me to go to the solicitor with her on Friday because her husband's left her. I don't think I will be in a dating mood!

I am therefore looking forward to hearing all your stories...

Kirsty oh I think Lubey is far more successful than me on that front! I had a quick look at that 'meet me' thig on pof earlier for Glasgow. Hmmmmm a lorra spuds.

I never even looked at the 'meet me' don't bother with that shite.

All I can promise you is that they are better than in my area... if you don't believe me, change your area to Leicester and try that then come back and tell me I'm wrong for swooning at the haven of lovely (in comparison) Glaswegian gents....

Oh Flipper I think that would put me off feeling like it too!

lubey oh I find it quite quick as I can zoom through at warp speed nonononono is generally what I am encountering at the mo. When I have more time on Sat I'll have another wee go I think. Though at the rate my week is panning out, I may not have time for a man!

Yeah specs fine...lose the chain...

I am sitting in my ex husbands clapped out car with the engine running outside pets at home. This is because he left his lights on while he was at morrisons and the battery went nearly flat (car is about 22 or so. Was his granny's). They are in pets at home getting a replacement fish.

Why did I marry him? Why?

Am still intending to go running despite the rain. Will drive to mr Nices house (in my car which is next to this one) and run from there for a little variety. Then going to use his house to (a) shower and (b) have microwave ready meal as I don't have a microwave, while he is somewhere like paramount studios maybe in Los Angeles in the heat. Then I will do mystery shopping reports

Mercury I forgot to add have you thought about getting new glasses? to my list

Honestly, I have tried everything. It is quite remarkable how any glasses will turn me into a bad version of Olive with a side parting.

Over the years I've been told more than once by friends the glasses I'm wearing "really don't do anything for you". With a couple of friends, I have, after years of them badgering me, let them try some out on me in an opticians. There is a moment after a few key pairs where they go mmm. They never ask again.

Have to say though Bant that plastic beaded chain sounds like a crime . I know she can't wear metals but even so <hypocrite face>. Maybe it's some ultimate man test.

Lubey am but also slightly of your saturday plans. I will be at home watching crap TV while the DSs kill things upstairs on their X boxes. Although I might make a start on decluttering ready for the (hopefully imminent if I ever get round to booking the guy to do it) construction of my ensuite and walk in wardrobe

I am however going for drinks with friends tomorrow as I can't stay in all weekend. And it takes my mind off the fact I haven't see C for 3 long weeks

Just marking my spot in the new thread! Still dating pof man, although we did have a bit of an argument last night, he's a moody git sometimes.

I wear nerd glasses and I'm proud of it!

How's it going with him generally Pixie? Hope there aren't too many moods from him. He should still be trying to impress you! What does he say if you pull him up on it?

Have been mailing with two gsm men who are both slightly hard work but that seems to go with the gsm territory. One seems perfectly nice but with no sense of humour or wit but that could be just in writing. The other, I don't know. Meeting the other sometime next week when he's back in London. VM (one date then he went on holiday) is back next week too, so we'll see.

I have lost 6 kg in four months. More importantly I'm getting my own shape back from a lot of gym work and can now fit into another dress again so

It's amazing what a bit of creative googling brings up. It appears that my pof bloke has a very, VERY murky past. Now, this may go some way to explain his quietness over the past day or so.

Particularly after a conversation we had in which I mentioned I used to work in prison (but with the lads, not on the punitive side)

As my young friend would say OMG

I've had it with the dirty sleaze site for now and have made a new pof profile, mind you there is a fair bit of overlap..but no penis pictures in profiles

well done Juliette!

Pixie I agree with OWW, he should be trying to impress you. You deserve more.

winefiend oh dear..

No reply from TT

Hmmm, might not be popular, but I had laser surgery on my eyes, and it was one of the best things I'd ever done.

I had to wear glasses from the age of 8, and hated it. Like Juliette, I could never find any that suited me. Later I wore contact lenses, but they made my eyes so sore and uncomfortable - even if I was having a great evening out, I often left early as I was desperate to take my contact lenses out. Not good.

So 6 or 7 years ago I took the plunge and had laser surgery.

Funnily enough, I quite like men who wear glasses - it's the whole 'geek look' I suppose.

mercury earlier on when I had a quick glance at pof, in the 'online' bit there was a bloke whose profile pic was simply an erect penis. His, I presume. I imagine his profile didn't last long

I really like men in glasses, women can look really good too. But I'm another geek lover, quite a few of us on here!

The problem with glasses is just all the practical stuff, steaming up, getting rained on, sliding about on your nose if you're hot and sweaty. Not fun! I got lasered after my son was born and it's brilliant. I wish I'd had it done sooner especially as I was really, really short sighted so it was a real problem for me.

Keep forgetting to ask Ike how's the Botox doing now you've had it a while? Did you have fillers in the end? Can't afford it at the mo but might start a Botox fund!

oh jeeze Wine, is there no escape from the penis pictures

problem I find with specs is the lack of wrap around style prescription shades, in the summer I have to wear contacts with sunglasses cuz my prescription sunglasses just let to much light in around the edges!

Yes, the practical stuff with glasses is tricky, but for me it was more the self-esteem stuff. I went from being a 7-year-old who loved nothing more than being in front of the camera to an 8-year-old who avoided having her photo taken because I felt so ugly with glasses.

I am getting a (fairly modest) bonus at the end of this month nowhere near the amount a friend of mine got, who bought a brand new 4x4 for cash with hers . Normally it goes into the house repair/buying off the Ex/rainy day fund. But as I am not getting any younger I am thinking of spending it on my face (Botox/fillers, that kind of thing). I would spend it on my teeth, but I don't think the amount I'm getting will come anywhere near what I'd need to spend to end up with some perfectly even smile...

If I could have laser surgery, I probably would. It's just that my chances of a successful outcome are minimal in which case I would have permanently impaired vision.

Wine what category of murky?

Pixie what's up with him? as others have said how he reacts when you pull him on it is what to watch.

Velvet braces can actually do a lot of the work if you can stand it. I think there is an emphasis on veneers etc because of the makeover programmes. The invisible braces take a lot longer and are still a bit visible though.

I think I look weird without my glasses.

velvet don't you dare spend good money on a load of monkey-spunk being injected into your face you are GORGEOUS and I will NOT hear another WORD about it. <crosses arms>

Had nice bath, shaved legs (!) attacked rampaging chin hairs... Am about to paint toenails..my fave pizza was yellow-ticketed in sainsbos (this always marks an evening of indulgence) and having a glass of wine. Very content. Is nice.

I'd just like to get rid of my frown lines which make me look cross and grumpy when I'm not. Eye bags too, but they don't really bother me. All the nice lines from smiling can stay

If Buffy is like any of the other geeky, Democrat activists I've known then the size of the frame and cordy thing is very much for effect. The whole kooky librarian chic thing is kind of a uniform for them.

I'm thinking of trying out Match. I've been irrationally snobby about it, but it can't all be accountants from the suburbs right?

here's a potato who's helpfully named himself after a brand of crisps:

www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=51164853

Juliette I wouldn't think it's worth the risk of permanently damaging your eyesight to have the laser stuff done (but easy for me to say as I don't wear glasses...yet). I don't think braces would do me much good, my teeth are more unevenly sized than crooked (they are crooked as well, but its more the size, and the colour, that I don't like!). I could just have them bleached but can't decide if it's worth it...

Snape you're too kind, I am not gorgeous (certainly wasn't earlier tonight when I was attacking my chin hairs and upper lip hairs in the magnifying mirror...!)

Juliette in prison overseas for stabbing someone category of murky, together with (I suspect) either past serious drug use or dealing (I couldn't quite get the entire gist, it was some stuff I gleaned from a drug forum when I googled name/location).

Now, a murky past I do not mind at all. My future plans involve setting up my own charity around helping rehabilitate ex-offenders as I love working with them, so no judgement here.

I was just a bit I think as I haven't met him so obviously you're conjuring up all sorts. The man (well, youngish man) I was seeing before Xmas had spent some time inside (way back in his youth) for dealing. He told me after a few weeks (I already knew though) but it didn't concern me as he had massively turned his life around and everyone makes mistakes (albeit a huge one in that case).

To chuck in some 'woo', both of the above have the last 3 digits in their mobile numbers. As my mate said earlier, as I've deleted both their numbers, if I ever receive a text from either, I'll be wondering 'now which ex-jailbird is this?'

I've heard that bleaching leaves you with uber sensitive teeth?

I am scared of laser surgery going wrong - I am pretty short sighted (-11 or so in both eyes so in the "if I don't know where my glasses are before I go to sleep I've had it) category but I've worn contact lenses for over 20 years and my sight is better with them than gasses I think. Especially due peripheral vision).

How short sighted were you OWW? Was it exciting being able to see when you woke up? Sometimes I would love to have that sensation . Both Mr Nice and XH wear glasses. Both look a little odd without them tbh

Wine . It would be the stabbing I would be concerned about, thank goodness for Google.

Velvet once they are moved you may find the size thing isn't the issue you think it is . I did it and was surprised at how much teeth can move.

My best shortsighted story is swimming related. Always took kids swimming on a Sunday afternoon.... Always saw the same guy there as I churned my lengths. As a tattooed lady myself, was appreciative of his full body suit.

Got contact lens trial.

Turns out he was just very hairy...

but swimming with contacts..surely not??

I was pretty short sighted about -8 with my right eye a bit worse, but neither much good for any practical purpose. They said they werent sure if it would be fully correctable but I thought that even being left a bit short sighted would be a huge improvement so I went for it. In the event it worked perfectly. The first couple of weeks I just couldn't get over waking up and being able to see!! Fantastic feeling. I take it for granted a bit now though

Juliette likewise! I'm definitely more shocked with this one than the last.

Well, at least I know it wasn't anything I did. I am just a magnet for (ex) BAD LADS it appears. To think the other month I was moaning about a lack of men 'who aren't knobheads but have a bit of an edge'. Oh dear.

Yes! Contacts swimming... Goggles... Amazing to final see where I'm off to.

So advice. Is 6 weeks too soon to develop 'feelings' (gak! GAAAAKKKK!) about someone. I should probably not mention this for a few weeks more... When does one introduce a bloke to your DCs? This is all a bit new and unexpected....

<waves at nameless... Just ignore this sweetheart... Go listen to some loopy hip hop. Love you! Eep! No, I mean ummm.... Oh. Bollocks )

I think if Nameless has discovered the dating thread it would be good manners for him to stop reading. stares hard. You wouldn't eavesdrop on Snape in the pub would you deary?

Snape that isn't too soon at all. Quite reserved really!

I think he's too mannerly to actually google my faux pas. And if he isn't, he should be.

Assume we are alone here. Let's talk about sex baybee.

Snape as for introducing I have a six month rule with my DD. Though that could be flexible depending on how sure I am about the relationship.

Snape I definitely loved Mr Nice within 6 weeks. Quite possibly sooner (we romantically declared our mutual feelings in the fog).

I didn't introduce him to the DCs until about after about 6 months but they knew about him sooner than that. I think I didn't want to do it too soon after they had met XHs girlfriend which I think happened not long before I met Mr Nice but tbh I don't think it would have mattered if they had met him sooner.

That was no help at all really was it?

I've done one report. Three to go.

Well I'd known LM for around four months when he said he loves me, next day when we introduced the children, just all went to the park together so very informal.

No such thing as too soon - you feel what you feel. I think I might be a bit circumspect about saying it for a few weeks yet but that's just me. I had feelings for LM for a few weeks before he said anything and just kept quiet. So happy for you. It's a wonderful feeling.

Snape it is not just the sex weeks, you two have a connection. You are both clearly smitten, it's too late now . As for the kids, I think the 6 month rule is sensible but, it depends entirely on the kids, the man, your relationship.

Last significant relationship after kids dad.. Took me me 18 MONTHS to introduce him to the DCs. Nameless says it isn't a big thing for him, but acknowledges that it's because they're not his kids. I think I'll bring it up again in a couple of weeks.

I loved the lovely Ex after about a week month, but didn't say it for another couple of months, even though I felt at times I'd literally burst from the effort of not saying it, but I didn't want to say it first! In the end he said it by text, then I said it aloud.

Never did the DC introducing thing, I have spoken to DS1 about it in general and ever so hypothetical terms recently, and he said he wouldn't want to meet anyone unless they were going to be moving in here (I have told him there is zero chance of that...). DS2 would be amenable I'm sure, but would relay all info to the Evil Ex which I have no doubt would kick off WW3

As such it's probably lucky there is no prospect of me being in this position for the foreseeable!

Six weeks, six ffs

at the sex/six weeks

My in box has got lively this evening. This is what I'm up against. Why, why would anyone advertise with that pic? The words he has tried to use aren't any better .

he thinks thats his best most flattering pic
thats all you need to know!

STOP THE PRESS

A seemingly normal, non potato has sent me a message, to which a photo of Josh Homme (from a gig was attached)

Oh my word Juliette, that made me megalolz big time

Been to a public lecture on eating disorders by Chris Fairburn (one of the world's leading researcher's on psychological treatments) he rarely gives public lectures ...ooooh get me!

It was really good very informative and for such an incredible academic he gave an easily understood, accessible lecture. Then caught up on the goss with my mates from col. Lotsa fun. Will catch up on the thread now..

I have a 1st date tomorrow night. Quite nervous. Last one was July 2012. I'm hoping he 1) turns up and 2) isn't attached and with a girlfriend and baby like the last one. Wish me luck.

good luck seaside. So was this an online thing or a real life thing or..?

sounds very interesting Ike, has he written any books?

another entry for the 'most unflattering profile pic' comp'
www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=52332242

I agree, Mercury, it looks like he gave the camera to his knob to take the picture! And it shows off his rather unattractive lampshade.

I have send polite 'no, thank you' messages to the man in the Timmy Mallett style comedy glasses (who has managed three 2-word messages), and the dull message from the man who's 20 years older than me.

The gorgeous men can message me now...

Snape, still . That goes for you, too, nameless.

Morning all

No headache, hurrah.

Apart from TT

I agree that pic is a baaaaad angle. Oh dear.

Hooray for lack of headache

I need to leave the house to go and stare at people taking an exam. Boo.

No reply from him, Lubey?

Nope OWW. I don't know what my next move is really? An attempt to explain exactly how much it cost me in terms of time off work, actually paying for it, plus having to get the hotel etc? Because if you add all that up what I'm asking for from him is about a quarter, not the majority at all. And he did promise he would do whatever it took to make it easier

Lubey glad you're feeling better in time for tomorrow!

I got about 5 hours sleep, still not great but I can cope on that so alls good

What do you think about this? (if anything) as you know my house is somewhat unfinished, and tends to attract comment. You might remember me saying that on our last date C made a little comment about whether I'd been hoping to date a builder which I was a little about.

Anyway, I have now found out (when looking for local tradesmen) that 2 of C's immediate family are in the building trade...is it odd he didn't mention it? Was telling one of my friends who thought it was. I didn't, but I did think it might explain his comment.

Sorry xpost, lubey am at tt being so crappy about this. Agreeing to pay for something and then not is really shabby of him. Especially given the circs.

Velv I don't think it's odd that he didn't mention it. Perhaps he knows they are sub standard and didn't want to put a word in for them? Plus it's not really his place to bandy their services about. I disagree with your friend.

and yeah i am mad with TT too... like I need this at the moment (or ever)

siiigh.

I'll try and explain to him what it actually means and what it's cost me. Guess I have no move left after that if he's still quiet about it.

'Overcoming Binge Eating' by Chris Fairburn Merc. He created the first method of treatment for Bulimia Nervosa in the 70s when nobody reconised it as an illness. He also was at the forefront of having CBT recognised as the main psychotherapy cure for Eating Disorders.

He also disvoveres that the majority of people with eating disorders have a jumbled up combination of bulimia and anorexia for which he uses CBT-E (enhanced CBT) with very good success rates (although this is currently undergoing study). Fascinating stuff.

I am sorry about TT Lubes, it is very wrong of him.

Morning.

Having been lurking. Just knackered.

My mum isn't home until next week. Fingers crossed. The Neighbourhood Team, the carers that look after stroke patients on release, decided at the last minute, mum was too complex for them Social Services have now taken over, they will provide care for a few weeks, until we get our own package in place.

One of my sisters is being a complete bitch

Dumped Mr R&R again last Sunday. Must control my texting fingers, it really is not good behaviour. I have promised I will not do it again. I need him

Chin hairs are the work of the devil!

Lubes, I think if you tell him straight then that is the only thing you can do. So peed off on your behalf that you are having to chase him up about this. Just crap.

Velvet - I wouldn't think it was weird. In fact, I probably wouldn't have mentioned it if it had been me in case it looked like I was touting for work for my family.

48 how disappointing about your mum. I really hope that it all works out for next week and she's finally back home. This type of situation can be really difficult with family members, lots of stress and people are not always at their best.

Next time you feel like dumping Mr R&R, don't. Come on here and vent instead and step away from the phone!

48 it is disappointing I know, but on the positive side, it is better that Mum has the right support in place so avoid extra strain on you guys and prevent Mum from feeling like she is 'failing'.

I dont mean to be intrusive, but why do you feel the need to reject Mr R&R at difficult times?

Yeah exactly OWW, it would put velvet in an awkward situation if he mentioned them, as she may feel she had to take on the work from them or be potentially embarrassed by saying 'not yet, not saved enough' or something like that. I think it's a good thing he didn't mention it, not odd.

Have just sent another text to TT explaining the whole amount it cost me etc etc and saying I could really do without having to beg for something promised.

Ike I think at the moment it is just hard work being in a relationship, with someone I have only known a few months. Hard for him too. I just get it in my head at times that life would be simpler on my own. I would miss him lots though, he makes me laugh, very important at the moment.

Ah ..I see.. I can understand that 48. Well could you, during this period, just meet up once a week and then really look forward to it. But have supportive fun texts meantime. Would that work?

lubey TT really is behaving badly.

Velvet I agree mentioning he had builders in his family could of looked like he was touting for work. Awkward.

We usually meet twice a week ike saw him Wednesday, will see him tomorrow. He is a real tonic. Absolutely useless in many ways, managed to flood his kitchen wednesday night. He does send me really laugh out loud texts during the week. Life is better with him

The floor needed a wash

Ok then stop finishing with him then, you silly bugger! haha! As OWW says come on ere instead!!

Haha 48, at the floor needing a wash... and what ike said!

TFO is making me laugh at present. We are emailing about tomorrow. says he has his passport, bikini and sun lotion. He's so silly, I really need silly right now haha

Silly can be bloody fantastic Lubey

Yep! Silly is my life really. It helps an awful lot!

Think dancing cats Lube!

Mind you just listening to Shakin by Jack White that's put me in a struttin' mood...

ike see you only have to say that to get a

Glad you all don't think it was odd - I think the point about touting for work is a good one. Plus I guess if they did a crap job or if anything went wrong between me and C it would be awkward to say the least. I know my ex was v reluctant to do any work for people we knew (aside from v basic, quick stuff) because of the potential for it to end badly.

48, No more dumping mr r & r! Definitely come here and vent. Or just write it all down on paper rather than firing off a text

Have mountains of stuff to do at work today. 5pm seems a long way off. Plus I think cos I was thinking about the builder thing earlier am really missing C <sad and pathetic emoticon>. It would be nice to think he might miss me too, but cynical me says if he did, he would probably have made the effort to see me once in the last 3 weeks...[Hmm]

Talking of cats this always makes me

www.simonscat.com/Films/Cat-Man-Do/

talking more of cats, this makes me too

www.27bslash6.com/missy.html

Oh I love him. That's the chap who tried to sell the electricity company a drawing of a spider instead of paying the bill. haha.

and all of Simon's cat too

48 sorry to hear your mums return has been delayed. Sending lots of well-wishes your way.

<general thread wave>

finally managed the STI clinic this morning - have been trying to get tests for the last three days - Wednesday - couldn't get through on the phone, so dropped by the sexual health clinic closest to my work (according to the internet) which now doesn't do sexual health services and closed 4 YEARS AGO Yesterday, I drove to nearest-to-house sexual health clinic after DS1s CAHMS appointment. Clinic is a 'walk in' clinic, which advertises services between four and six PM. I got there at a quarter past FIVE and they had just given out the last appointment Today, I went to clinic in major Central London hospital and it was lovely. They were ALL fab. Now have girl crush on the nurse who offered to do my vaginal swabbing if I didn't want to do it myself. Have mega pack of condoms as well. hurrah NHS! you got there in the end...

Oh hahaha Bant, my old cat Stanley used to wake me up by biting my nose...you could tell he was about to do it from the stench of fishy cat breath!

Oh gash Snape I should go really...havent had a smear for over 6 years ..that's BAAAD isnt it????

Same here ike maybe longer.

Have had breast screening. Wish I had bigger boobs for that

Not gash....oh dear....

everyone go and get your bits looked at! yes it's bad to have not had a smear for SIX years!! <snigger at 'gash' though>

I went 13 years without a smear test, then went regularly for a while, but have now left it for about 4.
I should just 'man up' and make an appointment!
Perhaps we could make an online pact, those of us who have let it lapse?

I'll start a thread! MN as a force for good and all that - suggest thread title 'FANJO-check STAT!'

Actually, I won't because I always go and get regular smears, because I had an abnormal one a few years ago and it scared me - So I might end up being a bit preachy...I think one of the non-smearers should pledge to smear....

I've actually got an appointment for mine on Monday - put it off but only for a couple of months.

I've already decided to make an appointment next month. I haven't had one for about 9 years. I know that's really bad, but the last one was so traumatic that I just haven't been able to face the thought of going through it again.

I am due one... but I have a polyp on my cervix and I'm scared it will hurt and just generally scared... I need to just grit my teeth and get on with it though as it's overdue.

I had a smear some time not that long ago. Also went to GUM clinic after I discovered XHs meandering ways. That was not exactly dignified but was also OK. Am not looking forward to having coil taken out and new one put in - is due in October. That was very ouchy.

48 I do hope it is all settled with your Mum soon, it must be tough waiting around to get her settled. No comment at all regarding dumping Mr R&R. Not one not five .

Bant Missy the cat, still sniggering here.

Velvet not odd, also maybe that is also why he mentioned dating a builder if he has builder relatives as its something he has around him. It's also Friday so your mind will be wandering towards missing C which has the potential to induce a wobble. Nothing changed.

Snape yay for good sti clinics on the nhs, they do vary wildly and there is a very stylish walk in one in Soho aimed at gay men.

Do get screened everyone, and check your boobs and balls. No matter how horrid it is, it will never be as bad as waiting to find out biopsy results.

Juliette I think I am averaging dumping twice a month Last sunday I went one step further and turned my phone off, so he couldn't call me. He has asked for my landline now. He is a bloody saint

Got a GP appointment early April for my depression, which is much better thanks to ADs. Will book a smear.

48 he does sound lovely. Totally human and lovely .

Happy Friday everyone!

48 - I'm sorry to hear about your mum, fingers crossed the correct care package can be put in place soon.

All ladies - as a preachy ex nurse I demand that you all get smear tests! The 2 mins of discomfort is well worth it.

Do you know, since posting on here about how great things are going with POF man I'm now not so sure! He spends a lot of time at my house, which is lovely, and my kids adore him. But I've only met his DCs twice, he is reluctant for our DCs to meet yet which makes it almost impossible for me to spend time with his as we have them the same weekends. He is moody and has shouted at me a couple of times when he's cross. He works crazy hours and I just feel like I have to slot into his life and work around him all the time. The relationship generally feels a bit imbalanced but if I try to talk to him about it he gets cross and tells me I need to chill out. Grrrr.

Don't get me wrong, he is lovely a lot of the time! But it feels like there are a few red flags after only a few months.

Hmm Pixie He does seem a bit of a control freak. I wouldn't be happy with the shouting or dismissing my opinion. This should be the honeymoon period.

Pixie, how long have you been together? If it's still early days then I'm inclined to agree with 48 - this should be the honeymoon period and you should be seeing his best side. Shouting at you sounds like a red flag to me, and the fact that he won't talk about the relationship is worrying - how are you supposed to make things better if he won't discuss it?

Chill out...no way...!!!

Have got around to messaging Mr Herbalist this morning ...he seems nice and is very new to dating..will probs see him next week.

Ike coolio (have no idea where that came from)

Pixie no he needs to show some respect for your feelings. I'm a shouter, I try and control it but I would never tell someone to chill out if it upset them I would apologise and try harder to keep it down.

'Chill out' is in fact the sort of thing that sends me into orbit, its up there with 'you've lost your sense of humour' He spends a lot of time at yours which should be lovely, I hope he hasn't tried moody or shouted in front of DC, he is a guest in your home ffs.

Oh dear, Pixie, I'm not sure I like the sound of all that. It is not on for him to shout at you, however angry he might be feeling, it really isn't. And him getting cross when you try to talk to him is not a good sign, either, nor is the dismissive "Chill out" stuff. I don't want to sound all doom and gloom because like you say there is a lot of good stuff there and no-one is perfect, but it seems like you have a few concerns about his behaviour. I don't know what to suggest really - normally I would say try talking to him, but you have and that hasn't worked, so it seems like a choice between whether you are prepared to put up with him as he is, or not. The fact that he doesn't take your concerns seriously enough to have a proper grown-up conversation about them is probably the biggest problem here and that doesn't necessarily bode well for the future.

Ike go get him before he gets contaminated by all the sweet-shoppy nonsense OD stuff.

On the subject of fanjos, I have received a letter today chasing me up for mine. Probably been about 8 years. Thing is, I'm not even arsed about smears, I just can't seem to get round to sorting it out! Must pull finger out.

pixie hmm shouting so early on (or even at all) would be enough for me to give someone the elbow.

I am an ex shouter I hope. LTR involved lots. My 'orbit' was 'you didn't tell me that'. I so bloody did!
Mr R&R is silly sod for the most part, but when I spit my dummy out he texts 'Can we have a nice calm chat?' Difficult to refuse

Same here Wine not bothered at all about having a smear. Just gotta get my act together.

I have no excuse either 48 as I finish early on a Friday. Though having a cold pointy thing waved in the general direction of my fanjo is not my ideal Friday post-work activity. But essential, unfortunately!

48 yes 'you didn't tell me that' is up there, like it's our duty to tell the obvious. It is incredible how someone actually listening properly really helps diffuse any situation properly too, I had one ex who took no notice of me shouting and he would say 'Juliette, why are you talking to me like that' . Stopped my in my tracks every time, and eventually I stopped shouting altogether -with him--.

Been having the sort of day where I'm chasing round all the time. And legs very worn out after last nights run. Feel lethargic and clumsy. Was cycling back home before and realised there were lots of cars at school and realised it was an assembly parents can go to. Luckily it started late so I was there.

Then DD had gym club so been backwards and forwards to school. Now properly home and going to have a bath. In the daylight

No reply from TT to the further explanation and plea. Oh friggin' joy. why be so good for a while and then turn major asshole on me? He was really good with the looking after thing and all that. Oh well... time to write that off I suppose. The money I mean, he was written off a while ago...

Neighbour has cancelled on me for drinks tonight. Don't mind actually as I am totally knackered. Early night planned.

Pixie not sure you should be tolerating someone shouting at you and making you unhappy, no matter how difficult his shift pattern is.

48, sorry to hear about the further delays with your mum and stop bloody finishing with Mr R&R, he's a sweetie.

Ike, hope Mr Herbalist is a winner.

So this afternoon I've booked my vair posh hotel in Mr Software's home city, he's offering to meet me at the railway station which is very sweet of him but for one thing I don't want him thinking he's deffo getting his leg over and for another, I was hoping for a bit of me time, loafing about in the roll top bath, lying around eating chocolates on the Egyptian cotton sheets and watching QVC on the flat screen.
I am also meeting Weird Coincidence Man for coffee tomorrow morning. We are so not going to like each other, I feel it in my water. In the meantime I'm all smiley every time Mr Showbiz texts, no doubt I'll meet him and he'll have all the allure of Richard Stillgoe.

Oh and yes, Lubey, how very disappointing that TT has turned into a knobber.

Oooh Kin! That's exactly what I did a lot of in my vair posh hotel. Loafing. And eating chocolate in those beds, with those sheets... omg. so nice. Enjoy

It's very disappointing Lubey, I suppose it just goes to show that talk is cheap and money is...money

Oh how lovely, Lubey, I love a bit of decadence, me.

I am also knackered. Think I will blame Mr Nice who has been having the temerity to message me when he gets in from a nice day out at about 5 his time and midnight mine. I have to go to sleep before this happens

Hi thread 46

<WarmFuzzyFun waves and blows unMNty kisses>

I'm okay, am part time lurking due to laziness and inability to keep up with events properly to post.

Less sure of man with bad teeth as during the course of texting he seems to do this thing where he makes a 'joke' which I don't find funny, then he carries on with 'joke' and then when I tell him I am unhappy, bewildered etc he says 'I was just joking'. But I feel he has a cruel side to him, why continue a joke when it is clear that the person with whom you are 'joking' is no longer enjoying it?

KinNora enjoy that hotel girl and the events (ie men) you have lined up. Of course I am and

Oh and have never miss a smear. Take care of yourself, you wouldn't be neglectful of your children's (or anyone else you cared about for that matter) appointment would you?

missed a smear

WFF are you going to meet him? I think he either gets the boot or you meet up asap to see the teeth what he is like in person.

Kin how lovely! you'll have a great time.

Thank you WFF and Juliette, I'll be making every effort to enjoy myself

Juliette, should be this weekend, but although he has been texting/mailing me all afternoon he hasn't mentioned meeting up which was/is scheduled for Sunday. So I am a bit 'meh' about the whole thing.

I just have a feeling that he is not a compassionate person, which is essential non negotiable personality trait for me.

Oh and well done for losing some much weight, it isn't easy to do especially (if I may be so bold) at 'our' age, so bloody well done <round of applause>

<sighs> so much weight

Kin Three lined up. Hope at least one turns out nice shaggable
Enjoy your hotel stay

WFF I get bored and slightly irritated with them if it is all chat and no action, it takes up so much time and then you just don't know if they are even going to turn up.

As for the weight, you are so right. 10 years ago it just wasn't a problem, I ate less cake, ate the right stuff and the weight just dropped off. I started putting it on about 2 years ago and this time it has been really hard, hence getting a trainer so I can focus on the gym which I know motivates me to eat better. I can't wait to wear my dresses again. I have another 4 kg to go until most stuff fits me.

Nora hope it goes well tomorrow! The hotel sounds like bliss. When areyou going? I am madly jealous. You have to meet Mr Showbuz soon too if you have any energy left!

Lubey. Really gutted for you. Sorry. What a cock.

WFF text humour can be difficult even if you know each other. Maybe best to meet on Sunday and see from there?

Juliette all kudos to you with the weight loss! Bet it is such a boost to you physically and mentally. Great stuff.

There are too many men who love the attention of texting/mailing and are then can't be bothered to arrange a meet up. I will delete and block if we get to the end of the week, or relegate him to a friend (without benefit ).

Keep going with the weight loss, the health benefits are dramatic at our age, not to mention the thrill of being able to wear clothes you couldn't fit into previously.

<waves to OWW>

I am in bed is good. Have managed to evict all children from aforesaid bed as well (I read to them in here and then kick them out ). Now I need to be sensible and actually go to sleep although will mumsnet a little first

Just need to tuck dd in then it's bed for me too!! My favourite place. I live my bed, I do. Quite fond of LM's too

Love. Duh.

Popping in to nag about smear tests.

Feb 2012 I had a negative smear test. It was done on BUPA as part of some gynae investigations. Sept 2012 GP summoned me for my 3-year check. The nurse said it would do no harm to have another smear 6 months after the BUPA one so I did. Positive. The cell changes are early stage and were zapped off easily during a colposcopy but thank god I went. I'm now on 6-month colposcopy visits. I could so easily have left it. Go and get your smear test!

More congratulations on your weight loss, Juliette - you know how you ( it might just be me with this ) imagine other posters on here ? Well I always imagine you as terribly elegant and sophisticated, striding around the world, taking lovers whenever and wherever you see fit don't let on if you actually work in Greggs in Scunthorpe, it'll ruin the illusion for me

I'm going to the Hotel du Vin at the beginning of April, OWW, and 48, I think the bookies' surprise favourite for possible sexy time is beardy Mr Showbiz, coming along on the inside, leading by a couple of anecdotes and an apparent ability to do impressions.

I imagine Juliette like that too, very glamorous but in an understated way, men yearning after her but being cast aside as inferior specimens ...

Did Mr Showbiz do a floating chipolata impression at one point, or am I getting confused now Nora? And will he not lose ground due to lack of Nora-inspired portraiture? It's neck and neck as they come up to the line ...

Kin if only! I have been most those things at some time except Greggs but the comment I get most from OD is that I'm 'down to earth'. Best not to ask

Nora you are allowed more than one you know...

Nah, OWW the floating chipolata was Talent Show's, Mr Showbiz, on the other hand, saw a millinery shop today and took a photo because he thought I might like it.

( I'm still fretting about this bloody painting ).

You're one of the women on here whose posts I read, Juliette, and think 'bloody hell, I wish I was a bit more like that ', I think this whole thread is full of the most intelligent, resilient, humorous people.
I did wonder, actually, about having more than one man on the go at once - I've never done that, it may well be about time ...

My friend has just set up an IE account on POF I am amazed at the quality conversations she is having..much better than the normal...what a revelation!!!

Are you going to set one up, Ike ?

Very tempted just for a laugh and a chat...

She did not even have a photo and only three lines..

Maybe we all should, just as an experiment. or you could just do it, Ike, and report back

Well ...ahem...I have...nothing too exciting to report yet though..about 20 messages from mingers in literally 5mins..

What, like an avalanche of spud-u-don't likes ?

( an email from Mr Software has just arrived, he's had a couple of beers and gone a bit soppy - bloody hell, that's the last thing I need )

Oh I appear ro have shaken out some of the same guys what a surprise....hahaha...

I put an ie profile up yesterday, put a couple of pics up and only wrote one line..it's been quite entertaining but I'm not sure if I can be bothered to actually meet anyone.
Alot of men act so desperate if there's a suggestion of NSA, it just makes me want to mess them around for my own amusement, are they really dumb enough to think anyone would fall for all the bullshit they come out with

Oh I know....I have started to have a bit of fun banter with one young guy. However ...one guy I think if I was interested ...could have serious potential...sensualist, artist...goregeous bod....hmmm

But...loads of Scorpios...hahahahahaha

plenty of married guys too....

Aagh of I see the word 'genuine' (or variations of spelling of the word), 'lol' or 'fishin' one more time I will not be held responsible for my actions.

My 'normal' one turnes out to be incredibly dull. It does say in his profile that he's 'sometimes quiet', but come on.

Millions and squillions of spuds! I think I may have to return to chucking my heels on and snaring inappropriately aged young men to scratch that itch.

Not that my spelling on this phone is anything to write home about

Get yerself on IE Wine its hilarious!

Most of em under 30

Well back from my first date. He turned up and we had a good night. Think it might not go any further. I liked him but I don't think it was mutual. Pof does have nice blokes on there after all.

why dont you reckon its mutual?

I might save that one for tomoro when I've had a few Ike

What's the spud : fit young Ben Drews ratio?

Did anyone else read Kin's description of 'intelligent, resilient humourous women' think well that's definitely not me...I know I did

Seaside its good that you had a nice date. Don't write him off too soon. Some men play their cards v close to their chests and its hard to tell if they're interested because they don't give anything away. So wait and see. But at the very least you've had a good date with a normal bloke, which is a lot better than a bad date with a potato!

I have been out, been chatted to (though no drinks bought this week, the men of kent are tighter than their essex equivalents!) Had a message via fb that I am gorgeous and a few texts from the one young enough to be my son who is pissed and silly (and quite funny in a very boyish way) so alls well though we won't speak of missing C because despite all the above I still do

However, I did get a message earlier from FOOTMASSAGEMAN - 'hey sexy toes'.

The search is over.

Velvet you are in demand!

I am in demand (rl/od) - but only by nutters, blokes who have previous for stabbing and married old men. It is no wonder I drink so much

Well I was in demand but they seem to have all gone belly up, as predicted..

Mr iPhone has vanished again, no sign of any damned pressie either, wtf was all that about?

Dishy doc sent me a text announcing the birth of his first child with his wife. (an accident of course, bet he's shitting himself now! ) although we only went for dinner and nowt happened not even a kiss... still not on is it? he's been asking me out for years... ffs! I wondered why he 'doesn't do facebook'

BC has gone very quiet, although must say I haven't tried to contact him

TT is a scumbag tosspost asshole

Mr Glasgow... well it was nice but I'm done with him now... not interested enough to carry anything on and was only ever meant as a one nighter anyway

TFO.. well that's all still fine and on as far as I know... I like him, good job really seeing as he's about the only option left

That was so much fun...honestly! And fairly decent convos too! I recommend it!

Oh Lubes....so sorry... I am of a mind that so often you just cant take much of this stuff seriously unfortunately. Hugs..my darling girl.

Are you all trying IE now?

it is good in a way. I couldn't do it without being very heavy on the block button though but definitely some of my best dates/meets/conversations have come from the gooduns on there.

ike it's fine! I have absolutely no feelings about any of it, apart from being excited about my date tomorrow, and annoyed about TT <shrug>

I expect I'll hit IE myself again at some point after this tomorrow date seeing as he lives so very far away.

I am a convert Lubes! Its like being a supermodel...all these guys fawning over you...for 3 lines and no pic!!

oh my!
sure is a lotta shit-fer-brains on POF

I may show my pic to 1 or 2 after much chat ...gonna squeeze the chat out of em till they beg for mercy!

Yep Merc but I have been mildly entertained tonight!

it is quite fun to dip in and out of when you're in the mood, I have LOL'ed lots!

I think that is the point isnt it Merc...these guys really believe you are gonna give it up at some point so they will humour you!!

aye, it does appear that they'll say anything if they think might get them a shag!

Thanks Velvet. Will just wait and see .

So I go to bed and you're fishing for poor, lust-maddened fools, Ike - you rascal. I'm not sure I'm brave enough to set up an IE profile but as I'm not on PoF anyway, it'd be like leaping straight over the frying pan and into the fire. Might do it for entertainment purposes.

Velvet didn't think the 'intelligent, humorous, resilient' comment applied to you ? I'm looking sternly at you over the top of my reading glasses.

I supposed I'd better start titivating myself for meeting Weird Coincidence Man - mehy mehy meh meh. We're meeting at a 'happening' local coffee bar so at least I'll be getting a good coffee in non-Starbucks surroundings. Groovy, man.

Mr Software's email detailed how he couldn't wait to have me in his arms etc etc . I can't cope with all that stuff, I just want some fun, not lovey-dovey bollocks - <rolls eyes>

Good luck to everyone out on dates today

If you just want some fun just get yourself an IE profile Kin....rolling in totty over there..hehehehe GPs, Lawyers, Artists, Musicians...all mostly LITERATE!!!And begging for it! Even want to stimulate my mind...that won be hard!

Ok Ike yer on, I'll set one up later, I could do with a bit of lighthearted amusement.

Ike You are almost making me miss POF

Enjoy your coffee Kin Mr Software is living up to his name. Oh dear!

Oh seriously Kin its an absolute revelation! But like Lubes says be tough with the delete button...there is no way you will keep up...oh and of course...take most of it with a pinch of salt...nuff said.

....however I am concerned that I may get a bit of a low opinion of blokes after this...the hoops they will jump through...if they think a shag is on offer...

Ok SOME blokes...

Morning all,

See...IE can be fun and there are some interesting BS free characters.

Perhaps, though,Scrazy is right that I am looking for 'casual dating' really, but I'll stay put for the time being in IE as I am (fingers crossed) close to sorting out the fwb(s!) that I want at this point. A 'good' fwb is like a relationship but without introducing to kids/family etc very similar to dating when young free and single.

What I find with OD is that things can go from good to bad in the twinkling of an eye. I don't take it personally, but every now and again someone does get under the (thick) skin though....

Yes WFF I realise that is mostly what I want for now..I found it difficult when TR wanted babies, marrage etc....

Having a chat with a GP about Angel Delight enemas...

I DON'T BELIEVE IT!!

TFO has cancelled, says he doesn't feel up to the drive.

<sulking>

Oh ffs Lubes...sigh

<sighs> Lubes sorry <hugs>

Flakey bastard

Oh sorry lubey I always find its feast or famine with men.

What flavour? Ike Its all in the detail

I know forgot to ask...was eating a chocolate croissant at the time....

I was sooooo looking forward to that! Then get up this morning to the apologetic email from him. Hmpf!

48 yes gone from feast to famine here in the space of a week, it is actually funny though so don't worry

I'll just get some wine in or something... make myself quesadillas... it's cool!

Oooh they look nice Lubes...what do you put in yours?

Oh what a bugger, Lubey, how very disappointing.

Ike - some doctors are bastards but they do provide marvellously entertaining anecdotes.

48 - I know, what's the matter with him, the big wuss. God help us all if he uses the fatal ' I want to make love' phrase because that'll be it, I can't do anyone who says that.

Well indeed Kin ...this one lives in the arse end of Cornwall....innocent little face he has too. Hardly gonna be driving through night to shag him or participate in 70's stlyle bum frolics. But ...he can entertain me tonight when I sip wine and eat a Lubey inspired dinner...

Ok tell him you want to 'make the beast with two backs' with him Kin...Othello inspired and sounds drrrrrrrty...

ike I do chicken, sour cream, chilli and cheese in my mine.... heavy on the cheese... nom. And marinade the chicken in lime and chilli first too.

Kin yeah really disappointing! arse, arse and arse, and hmpf.

Considering re-activing PoF profile and seeking a replacement. BUT I was so set in looking forward to that specific date, with that specific man I don't think anyone could impress me enough unless they booked the same hotel and made me laugh even more than TFO. Which is unlikely at such short notice...

Although I did have a dream last night that I had a job in a sex Call Centre. Maybe IE is playing on my subconscious mind...

Lubes sounds lush...will have to look into a similar veggie one though

at Ike

Yeah this Call Centre WFF was located just at the back of my house ..my MOTHER was in the dream telling me that I had to remain anonymous in case the neighbours got to know about it....how FREUDIAN is THAT!!!!

not that I ever listenened to my Mother...certainly not gonna start now...

Ahh Lubey how completely rubbish Bad bad TFO!!

I do love quesadillas, though have never tried making my own. May have to give it a whirl.

Kin can you tell Mr S to just cut the flowery language?! I like Ike's beast with 2 backs suggestion. I reckon Mr S can't believe his luck and is trying to 'court' you so as not to ruin his chances! some women like me quite like a bit of lovey-dovey stuff

Can I have a slap please...someone I dated once (who then revealed himself - literally - to be a bit of a cock shot sending perv) now has a girlfriend. I feel slightly envious, which is stupid because I would never want to be his gf in a million years. I doubt it will last once she finds out what he's really like. I think it's just the relationship but that I envy, not who it's with, if that makes sense.

God, I'm an idiot!

SLAP!!!!Velv. He's probs on line now chatting up women on POF with tales of liquid food enemas....

probably. Although showing them pictures of his cock is more his style. He does come from Cornwall too coincidentally.

and is only the same height as me

Yeah it is rubbish. I just missed a call from an unknown number and they didn't leave a voicemail... wondering if it was him changing his mind having had enough coffee! We have never text only emailed, though he emails via his phone. But then why withold the number and no voicemail?

Probably something completely unrelated though anyway. Another PPI or computer scam call probably!

I don't mind a bit of floweryness. I may only be after one thing, but I also like not to be cold or ultra porn star about it and literally just bang body parts. I mean I'd run for the hills if anyone was going OTT with it but I don't mind a little tenderness mised in with the filth

Awww velv! You're not an idiot, you just have a certain longing for what you are looking for, and you've been kept waiting so long by C, you have the patience of a saint but it's bound to drive you mad inside, it would do anyone.

Velvet it's normal to feel like that, innit ? You're deserving of, and looking for, something much better - don't concern yourself with the activities of piddling morons.
I like a soupçon of flowery romantic language too but I'm terrified of a relationship that goes any deeper than fun and nookie. In order to engage me in a serious relationship , a cunning and patient man will have to woo me like David Attenborough cosying up to a gorilla family, inching forward, looking at the ground and making gentle ' oo oo ' noises. ( not the last bit ).

Lubes I so want your quesadillas.

Ike yeah, I could say that to him but (a) not sure he'd understand, he'd never heard the William Morris quote about having beautiful or useful things in your home so I'm not holding out great hope for him knowing any Shakey and ( b ) I suspect he is not at all dirty. Sad.

Kin - serious actual LOL at your analogy there. Don't worry, I've managed to be both tender and completely not involved at the same time. With everyone I've been not involved with on any level deeper than fun and nookie. Don't let it scare you too much, doesn't necessarily mean anything at all.

and you're welcome to join me for quesadillas anytime!

I can her my DD on the phone to her BF, giggling her head off. They are so cute together god it's all so easy when you're 16 isn't it (if you find a properly nice lad that is) he treats her like a precious gem. Good job really or I'd be locking her up encouraging her to find someone else.

her = hear*

Lubey infuriating! There's nothing worse than calls from withheld numbers where they don't leave a voicemail, drives me mad wondering who it might be. Only to be disappointed when they call again later and it's 'would you like to change your energy supplier madam' or some such nonsense!

I think being envious of the relationship stuff (this is now the 3rd bloke I've dated who has recently got a 'girlfriend') is nothing to do with the blokes themselves, who are all dogs* and I expect are still on POF/sexting etc, but more from wanting that with C, who I do really like as if that were not obvious . I don't mind waiting, just hope there is something worth waiting for!

* piddling morons is an equally appropriate description Kin! When is your coffee with Weird Coincidence man?

Mr S might surprise you and have hidden depths of dirt . I do remember my lovely Ex once coming out with something quite filthy which surprised (and amused) me because up til then he'd been a picture of lovey-doveyness!

KinNora I've got to pinch this 'I like a soupçon of flowery romantic language too but I'm terrified of a relationship that goes any deeper than fun and nookie. In order to engage me in a serious relationship , a cunning and patient man will have to woo me like David Attenborough cosying up to a gorilla family, inching forward, looking at the ground and making gentle ' oo oo ' noises. ( not the last bit ). '

Which is exactly how I feel, and will be featured in a text or email to explain myself and my approach.

Gawd bless ya young miss! <WFF tugs forelock>

Just waiting for my taxi to the previously mentioned 'happening' coffee bar, I think that due to my actual level of fuckedupness, I'm not sure I'm capable of managing relationships in quite the rational way you do - I'm comfortable with jokey and silly and inconsequential, anything else scares the bejeezus out of me. One of the things I take from this thread though is the prospect that one day things will be different.

< gets train to your house for quesadillas and booze >

Did someone say we are going to Lubey's for a quesadillas and booze party? I'm coming.

Excellent! <buys more booze and tortillas and stuff>

Ok I'm ready

Coffee ( capital 'c' only due to the beginning of the sentence, frankly 2/3 of my 'lovers' went to the same school as he attended, I ain't going for another one ) is now < sounds Disappointing Date klaxon - URUGGGGGAAAAA URRRRRUUUUUGGGGGA >

< Lubey thinks I'm joking ...buys train ticket>

I'm not joking! Get yourselves over here it will be much more fun than anything else.

Count me in for the quesadilla and booze party too, I can bring my own alcohol!

<inflates airbeds>

<panics and runs round hoovering>

lubey oh no! They're like bloody buses. I don't know what bus services are like round your end, but in South Yorks they are shiiiiiit. Your night in sounds smashig though, I think I may do similar this eve

Nora Good luck this aft! At least you know you have another option, which involves a fabulous hotel and lota of loafing.

Ike I may do some IE this eve perhaps though I have woken up this morn to 2 messages from 2 verr arractive characters I vaguely remember looking at last week, asking to take me out. Ha! Buses! Bus services in Glasgow are fairly shite from what I recall too so we shall see.

Velvet I would be the exact same if the last guy I was 'dating' got himself a girlfriend, despite me not wanting owt serious with him (and him saying similar, yet freaking out re: me going to the pub with one ex and still living with the other). It would bruise my fragile little ego

I have just woken up. At 11 fucking am. Jesus! Must have needed it, I blame the ongoing lurgy I've had.

Wow, clearly not woken up yet. Fingers incapable of pressing correct buttons.

quesadillas?! am very hungry all of a sudden.

on my way home from namelesses. we talked about my haphazard approach to internet security, but he hasnt peeked i wouldnt have been able to resist understanding that online support in dating matters is a personal issue, much like discussing someone you're seeing with real life friends, but with a permanent record. told him that basically youre all delighted things are going well & all think he is lovely...

oh, just to it up some, also had the best sex of my life last night. movie sex that was even 'movier' that last time...he is utterly amazing..literally had to drag myself away or i would stay curled up next to him forever.

</vom>

will update with reference to you lovely lot once i get home & off phone.

Snape more wonderful loveliness

Mr R&R asked me what I like to call the deed once. I replied fucking works for me Haven't got a romantic bone in my body

Good morning all, Ike .

Velvet I refer you to 'some people are just not that choosy'. I've been through this too, but it is exactly that*

Snapethere was never any question of him peeking was there. And at uber movie sex. Really happy for you.

*I met the DP of a new friend recently, she's a lovely, bright aware woman. We had talked about my OD experience and how there were a lot of entitled men on there. She mentioned other friends she had who'd been successful. Then her DP came in, good looking, articulate. I mentioned I'd taken a wrong turn on the way to them and my friend started to say which turning I needed. He actually spoke over her that she'd got it all wrong, then mansplained me directions half a mile back to my house. That

Juliette thats so true! And how rude of him!

CSP (Cock Shot Pervert) is no loss. According to FB, he has recently taken said gf on a (seriously cheapo) mini break despite driving a flash car and earning nearly double what I do. Sod that, I'd expect to be taken somewhere like this

Velvet I just got lost in there for a while. I was tempted with Spring Cottage but it's too much like a house so I thought I'd go for the Lady Astor Suite because it has the terrace with a view. I will command a mahoosive outdoor heater and spend all my time out there and ask them to light the indoor fire in case I feel like walking through the interior.

oh good lord my poor eyes. Just got a cock pic, have added it to the options group, obvs.

Waiting for the bus home. Verdict - don't bother buying a hat.

Oh Kin, I was just on my way to the milliners as well. <does u turn>

Kin that's just one down, two to go...

'Fraid so Lubes. Big tip for future Nora dating applicants - don't tell me about your problems with anxiety 15 minutes into a date - I look as though I care because I have that kind of face, really I don't, you're there solely to amuse me.

Just received from stevomcnevo1

Hi
Do you like bondage?

Is it me or is his pic as well as message... creepy

velvet 'intelligent, humorous, resilient' gayest you thatis. In spades with jackie Collins rolled in. I hope you're ok today. I'm getting increasing annoyed with Cuthbert. I think you deserve the moon and stars. I hate seeing you wait around for this guy. I know you really like him, but I think you deserve much better and I know he broke your 2nd date curse, but he makes me go grrrrr!

juliette well done for weight loss! I can feel weigh creeping back on again...I'll need to do a cople of weeks of very low carbs to get me back on the straight and narrow. Love that description of you as v glam and striding around taking lovers as suits you. I do like that idea of how we 'see' each other

lubes sorry about flake. Ugh. I guess there will always be a fair amount of all-mouth-no-trousers men who bail. I can categorically state that it is always them andnever us you. Love the description of your DD on the phone to her young man. :D my DD has a lovely BF, who thinks the world of her, she would never stand any shit from him or anyone else. I think we're all bringing up amazingly strong young women.

WFF :D at David Attenborough.

Wave at the rest of you lovely lot.

I'm going to stop posting about nameless. It's just disgustingly soppy at the moment (I love the flowery stuff me... And the filth as well. I'm bilingual) and I'm aware that while you all share in my absolute delight at having snagged a good 'un... It can get a bit saccharine. I'll post if anything horrendous or absolutely amazing happens, but unless it does, can we all just assume that I am walking around with a smile that would blow out the Blackpool illuminations, consider myself astonished to be in the same room as him, especially if items of clothing are being removed and am generally just really very happy. I'm even tolerant of his use of marmite on toast. I think it's love.

I'll still post, obviously, if I may. I'd miss you all, like I miss a lot of folk who now lurk because they're happily coupled.

snape glad it's all going so well I wish I could meet someone like that! Did you find him online?

Ok so with regards to the brothers friend I still havnt called him and he hasn't called or text me either

All week I've thought not going to bother calling him as he clearly isnt that bothered about me. And today I'm fed up and thinking about calling him! As he would probably come and take me out if I did.

Also I havnt has any action for about a month and it's affecting my mood

And just to add to problems dds dad has been around a lot an I really really want to sleep with him!

I still can't walk and I'm still at my mums and I'm fed up!

Any suggestions? Should I call brothers friend? Should I sleep with dds dad? As the sex is amazing which I havnt had for over two years!

Lubey that's his blue steel. The placing of the pitbull dog is rather odd too.

Lubey no hes weird.

And his living room needs a bloody good tidy up and declutter

Snape you absolutely must still post. We desperately need happy people who this malarkey worked for it's just brilliant. And post whatever you like, I love it, but then I'm not the <vom> type really, being an old romantic deep down

Snape I am really happy for you Almost as happy as I would be for myself if anything as great ever happened to me.

I'm willing to wait around for C for a bit. I honestly don't think he's a player, or seeing other people, or just stringing me along (I might be wrong, I only think I know everything!), and that it won't always be like this. But we'll see. There's no rush. And I do get (and C should realise this!) a lot of attention from other men at the moment. Mostly potatoes admittedly

Oh, and keep posting.

I might be a bit but I can keep that in check!

Moving No, no and no (for any buts). Why call up a man who hasn't been in touch and DDs Dad is your ex for a reason. You are stuck indoors which won't be helping your mood either, you probably wouldn't consider either of them otherwise.

Snape as long as you promise to stay around, I would miss you if you didn't.

Snape and your happiness is all good, it's lovely and very similar to what I would like and I don't want anything less and why I'm still single so I like hearing about it. Spurge away if you feel the need.

I am now meeting gsm1 this week for coffee, probably Tuesday. GSm2 is likely to be next weekend. POF ones seem to have vanished.

moving nabbed him off of OKC. I'd banged some appreciative stars on his profile (god knows what I was thinking, he was 12 years younger than me, incredibly and some and frankly a bit out of m league. He sent me a short note saying thanks and generally being very amusing (I'd forgotten I'd starred him) we had a coffee a couple of weeks after that.. I really liked him, but also need that he didn't like me, because generally people I don't like don't like me, or see me as 'hot friend' or have a lot of issues... I've also reasoned that there is no chance of any future in it, as I'm a 45 year old single parent to three surly teenagers and he's 33 and has CFS. But I'm not concerned about longevity as right now I'm brilliantly happy, I can't look at him without wanting to touch him. He's amazing.

I will shut up now. I said I'd stop bleating on about him.

No. Don't shag your ex. No no no no no no. They're an ex for a reason. Don't contact Neighbour chap either. Get yourself on IE.

Now Kin ...get that IE account going tonight!

Sorry moving not neighbour- chap (why do I think that?) I mean brothers friend. Sorry you're still not able to get home... Did someone mention maybe trying to get home w/o DD for a Couple of days for a rest from your mum?

Snape you have to keep posting, it gives me hope that somewhere there's a Nameless with my name written all over him.
I was toying with saying you are the thread's Jim Bowen - 'here's what you could have won' as you gesture toward a speedboat but that's not a particularly accurate analogy as I feel very happy for you rather than cursing the missed opportunity to park a big, shiny craft in my front garden.

I've had to name change because of a nosey ex. Last week i learnt to stay away from men who aren't deep and how to decorate my especially feminine garden.

Why is it some men think that even though you ignore them sending more messages is the thing to do?

Does anyone have problems with text sex with men they haven't met yet? The bloke I'm meeting next week for coffee wanted to do it last night but i just couldn't. He was very lovely about it but it just felt all wrong. Am i a weirdo?

I'm also talking to someone who asks loads and loads of questions and i feel a bit like him being interviewed. It's putting me off a bit.

Snape - it all sounds great and I hope you keep posting too and the age difference doesn't mean it can't last!

Well with going home alone I wouldn't leave my dd here without me as she won't sleep alone and I wouldn't want her to sleep with my mum and her partner in their bed. So if I go so does dd

My mum has been great but I feel like I hate relying on anyone. Actually being dependant on anyone including my own mum is a nightmare for me. No wonder I'm still single and not in a settled and living relationship!

Snape you should defintely keep posting - even the lovely stuff! It's good to know that there are wonderful non spuds out there like nameless

Speaking of spuds - 'you should be on gorjus dot com'

Oh man.

So, proper date report now.

( background is Weird Coincidence Man is originally from my home city, went to the same school as exh and we knew the same people in the 80s ).

I'd never been to the coffee bar I suggested as a venue, turned up and it was tiny, hideously busy and the seating was my bête noire, the bar stool. I'm too short for bar stools. Anyway he turned up late as he thought we'd said 11.30.
He looked very familiar, worryingly I think I may have snogged him in my teenage years.

He persisted in wittering on about his anxiety and the stress levels of his job - hmmm mmmm, understanding head on side, ' that's no way to live' when what I always think about in these circumstances is throwing in some examples from my job - take that, ya big Jessie ! .

There couldn't have been less of a spark if he'd been Jim Davidson.

One positive thing I've learned through OD though, is that I'm not actually as shy and socially shite as I think I am, I appear to be able to talk to strangers in a reasonably engaging way - huzzah !

I've been spoilt by the PoF IE Glasgow experience.

Reactivated earlier for a more local nosey and oh dear god it's just awful. AWFUL. I have one possible, ticks all the boxes and though he wants to meet he's just lacking a bit of oomph, enthusiasm, or something. So therefore it's really not inspiring and I CBA.

Kin the date sounds... erm... well awful. Why do so many people have no concept of making an effort, trying to impress, etc... especially on first dates.

I think he was trying to impress, Lubey, just not in the kind of way that works for me. He also didn't react particularly well to my suggestion that when he had to wear a white trilby while managing in a factory, he wore his hat at a rakish angle.

The difference in PoF geographical quality must be most disheartening, I wonder why it's so different.

That was him trying to impress? Oh dear. Don't think it would have worked for me either really. However your hat suggestion works on me. Hook line and sinker, I'm all yours. He's a fule!

And yeah, just... urgh... I really am going to have to move.

It's REALLY making me miss BC as well... ouch... ouch..

That's a bugger, isn't it, the missing people thing, god knows what works to assuage it, I wish I knew. Are you going to see BC while he's in the country or do you reckon it's better not to ?

I dunno. I want to! I'll have to text him at some point and try and sort something else out before he buggers off again. It's the fave sex ever thing, and just how well we get on and laugh and all that. The latter especially seems really, really difficult to find.

He couldn't be more perfect for what I'm looking for at the moment and local PoF may as well be a cesspit with floaters rather than a sea with fish. Go away rubbish men.

Snape you have to keep posting or I will feel I should retire into the distance

Well, why not just get in touch with him then ? Even if it's just for a one off, life's too short not to grasp an opportunity for pleasure.

I miss the laughter aspect of my relationship with Spud almost more than anything else, we used to cry laughing on a regular basis. Shame he's a wankbiscuit.

Yeah, I will do at some point. Just need to think what to actually say not like me to be stumped but he didn't reply to my last text and that always leaves me a bit

I'm not waiting for him to text me or anything and my last text to him didn't need any reply, I just need to think of the actual wording and preferably some excuse to meet. Or be in a blatant enough mood to just invite him down.

Tricky. In that kind of situation I'd probably think about what I'd advise someone else to say, and then say that.

Oh no Dr Angel Delight is funny but obvs barkin ...makes you wonder about these GP's ......

He's not coming near my rear with his 'clear out' enemas and strawberry Angel Delight.

....as if I needed any more wack jobs what am I doing?????

What does he say the benefits of an Angel Delight enema are, Ike ?

( I can easily obtain a rectal catheter for you, together with attached 'puffer' should you so wish ...)

I haven't got to the 'bottom' of it yet Kin...but...it does involve mutual consumption of the by product (gaaaaag) Ill pass on the catheter Kin, thanks, he's probably got his own arse kit at home...

I feel like I will never be innocent again (weeps)...

Mutual consumption of the by product ? Hahahahahahaha.

I've told you all before about doctors, don't say I didn't warn you ...

<thinks about shitty Angel Delight, feels slightly queasy >

What's the matter with them? Eh? Are they all obsessed with bodily functions and tinkering about where no tinkering needs to be done???

I know Kin...it orrible without the extra 'matter'. I did give him a boring fact about my ex Chemistry teacher's brother having 'invented' Angel Delight...or was it Super Whip?....anyway that was the only thing I could bring to the convo...that, and noting that THANK GOD it wasnt chocolate flavour.

The thing is with them that they have a very matter of fact attitude to body parts and functions, there's no mystery. ( I never found any of the ones I went out with to be particularly sensual though - most disappointing )

I did once hear a story about a local GP having to attend A&E with a unretrievable rectal foreign body, he should have known better really - you never stick anything up an arse that isn't designed to go up there.
< professional face >

Yes... I did ask him whether the the clinical aspect kind of kill the passion element...but no it HEIGHTENED it apparently????

unretrievable??? oh Gawd! No No...!!!

killed (sp) Right off for another fanny wax (trill...!!!)

Oh aye, some people I've known (not me, honest guv ) like a bit of medical stuff in the boudoir I might have had requests to wear my uniform

Ah, never told you any of my work stories, we need to go out on the ale some time ...

Aargh classic Day Three angst kicking in. Who's got that wet fish? Didn't work out to meet up with children today, LM in full shop mode which is fair enough, proper official opening on Monday. He said maybe tomorrow but I will need a babysitter so a maybe's no good and it will have to be a no from me. I miss him, he misses me or so he says so why is it all so difficult? I know the answer to that btw, just frustrated.

Feel the pain of everyone else's crap dates/non-dates.

Must do Kin!! That would be so much fun....oh and this GP looks like he is about 12 honestly now...total baby face.

Angel Delight and arseholes? Agh bloody hell, I've heard it all now.

Ike, you are killing me - so funny, I won't be putting Angel Delight in my shopping trolley any time soon.

KinNora, it's good that you have another couple of dates to focus on otherwise it would be depressing.

Snape post, post and post some more. It's good that you have 'graduated' come back and share your wisdom {big kiss emoticon}

Jules, put that new body to use, have fun, come back and make us

Velvet, he is a good 'un, I can feel it in my water, or is that cystitis

Right, question: when to I say game over to the other chaps I've lined up just in case? I think I have a very good (very excited) fwb, I also have a couple of chaps in my 'holding pen', but you never know.

I've been through this before, the minute I release them back into general circulation things that looked firm go to shit about five seconds later.

WFF I don't ditch any of my back ups until I'm actually properly seeing someone... even then I stay friends just in case. My sex drive demands it for fear of ever being made to wait.

Hmm that's a point I have one of those I could see soon...

But they'd all be expecting me to have sex with them, I want just one.

So just tell them, after a couple of weeks I guess. I hate letting good suitable men go...just goes against everything I believe in

Hello hw's r u?hw's urz day going?

<headdesk>

I'm considering regularly conjuring up work trips to various parts of the country, and becoming the glam busty version of a sailor as snape suggested

I might test out London next...

WFF can't you give them all a road test then decide?

Lubey wuu2?

Don't bother testing out this part of the country, very slim pickings. Mcr might be okay though, in fact any of the big cities. Think I might be tempted to select by which accent I liked best ...

"hi how you doin im a culb kid tht a lady 2 dance with a good time undrer the sheets"

A what now?

<runs screaming from pof>

ok. My lucky streak is officially over.

I have to move, or keep testing out new areas. I am DONE with the inbred weirdos locals.

I HAD to open another one didn't I?

"Hey gawges how are you xx"

<gouges out own eyes with cocktail sticks>

Oh lubey I can fully sympathise! I've hidden mine this aft as I was losing the will to live. Plus there's 2 I have on the go - one of whom I reckon is a complete shagger (which is not a massive problem), the other not so much. I will suss em out over the course of the next couple of days (just to make sure they aren't stabby, like the last one). Assuming they don't vanish of course

Hahaha I prefer the spelling - 'gorjus'. Love it!

Hmm, it's an idea OWW, a good idea. 'Am I programmed to over-reach?' (quote from film DD is watching called 'Limitless')

(Oh, while on the subject of quotes, the quote re: David Attenborough, was pinched from KnNora)

I have just heard from Teeth, I will be meeting him tomorrow...

Oh good luck WFF

Winefiend 'gawges' is a new one for me. Oh dear oh dear oh dear.

Ok. that's my profile hidden again.

Now, stop my text to BC saying MARRY ME!!! TAKE ME AWAY FROM HERE!

only half joking

Step away from the phone lubey! It is so tempting to do similar though when you realise how many spuds are out there. I had a moment a couple of weeks ago when I was tempted to text ex twat (as I wanted a shag, basically), so instead I text 5 of mates advising them of this temptation and received instant 'noooooooo!' style replies. Put me right off

I wouldn't, and that isn't even what I want anyway really, but god that was enough to drive anyone to madness.

I will, however, text him and ask when we can meet next!

I have thought of the excuse actually, I do still need to stop around his area even though it was cancelled on my way back from Scotland... so I'll see if I can get that re-arranged and if he will be around then.

Or even ask when he IS around and arrange work thing for that day. That would make more sense.

Lubey would you suggest I send that text to Spud ? No, I didn't think so.

WFF - have a subs' bench, like in football. Test out their ability in training sessions and make sure you have someone to bring on for the big games.

Wine, I always thought it was 'gawjuss' that's how dd and her chums compliment each other. Hrrrrrummmmphhhh.

Kin, no... but.... BC isn't a wankbiscuit... further BUT I'm still not sending it though don't worry! I am aware that is a generally unsuitable thing to say to anyone, especially men with a tendency to leave the country and when you don't even actually want to marry them anyway.

I have located my 'temporarily misplaced due to horror of pof' grip.

Phew.

Right, now for quesadillas and booze. When are you all arriving?

Oh Nora, get with the programme, it's all about gorjusssss now! My favourite is stil a toss up between 'wana fuk' and 'hey sexy toes'. Megalolz

I'll be there in an hour lubey, just working my way through a bag of Revels.

My favourite from today was 'I got a fuckin big cock 9 inch fat as a coke can lol will that cheer u up'

@ megalolz

Excellent. I have mucho booze. I also have cadbury heroes and gateaux and cream as well as the quesadillas. Just in case.

Hahahaha fuck me, can of coke or not (remember those wee ones you used to get in Woolworths for about 12p?), it makes no odds if you have a face like a bag of spanners and the online persona of Vicky Pollard's younger brother.

Ooh gateaux. Proper posh

Just had fajitas inspired by Lubey!

Feeling very fed up if spending so many evenings sitting in by myself. I wish there was someone to take the children a couple of nights then I could actually get out and do something and start to get a life. I miss my old friends. I miss LM. I'm feeling lonely and bored and sorry for myself.

At what age do you think you can leave very sensible children in for a couple of hours in the evening? I fancy joining the pop choir and poss the meditation group ... Going to be at least a couple of years though

Fat as a coke can???!!! Bloody hell, the sheer romance and poetry of it.

Aww Oww, are there no decent babysitters nearby? Where abouts are you? It is shit being stuck in when you'd prefer otherwise

OWW I first left my DD for an evening from about 13, and first overnighter when she was 15. Both firsts were when she had a trustworthy friend over, then after that by herself, just her and the cats.

I am quite relaxed with things like that and would have done it sooner actually because she's so sensible but she was quite easily spooked and I didn't want to put her off it.

Oh and because I got reported to SS for leaving her for TEN minutes when she was ten. Yes, ridiculous, I know. And I got a very patronising leaflet sent to me with scenarios on it like leaving a three year old to clubbing, leaving a baby all day while you work, etc. Stupid.

Snape fucking hell ten minutes?

I have downloaded something called 'kik' to converse with the verr attractive pof gentleman. Totally down with the kids, me don't have a fucking clue how to use it

You're absolutely right, BC is not a wankbiscuit whereas Spud is a vast record breaking specimen. Any tequila, Lubes ?

OWW , how old are your dc ? You could find a trustworthy local teenager who fancies earning a few bob to sit with them for a while, it's important that you get time to yourself occasionally.

Wine - that'll be me, behind the times, I had never even experienced 'megalolz' - I feel like retraining as a High Court judge.

That's me Winefiend not Snape

Yes, ten minutes. Neighbour saw her waving my goodbye from the window and reported.

I stomped down to SS mightily offended but the SW I spoke to was adamant that ten was 'far too young'

mad.

Kin, hmm no tequila, but i do have beer, wine, vodka, gin, rum and various mixers...

and nope, not a wankbiscuit. I promise i have stepped away from the phone anyway though

I am loving being on my own tonight. No daughter. No daughters BF. No man.

Space

I may have had a couple

I was confused... By as I've spent all day smiling at strangers, then who gives an actual shit.

Tra la laaaaa

Oh oops lubey, worra knob

I am trying to keep up with this new fangled technology y'know

snape

More s for Snape.

Anything you want me to bring, Lubes ?

Not heard from Mr Showbiz today but he's just emailed, I am thoroughly charmed by him. Oh deary dear.

bring a comedy onesie and a crash helmet and we'll make a harlem shake video while we're at it

I would but dd has commandeered my onesie and is currently lounging a matter of feet away from me, brazenly comfy.

Problem is the old money thing - I have some teenagers from my street who babysit when I go out, but I just can't afford a regular extra night of two for a hobby every week plus going out with LM once or twice. Three nights' babysitting is going to be around £30-40, can't justify it.

They are sensible, maybe in a couple of years then! Can hang in there I hope. I've got you lot on here, texting, FB messenger and a phone too so it's not all doom and gloom.

Lubey, can't believe that about SS. Madness. Glad you put them straight!

Well, having seen the sweet shop in Budapest, and with Buffy being remarkably slow to respond to emails (I sent the last two last night, no response back yet, it's kind of her 'turn' rather than three in a row. I hate the games) I thought I'd just take a quick peek on Facebook dating - zoosk, to see who in budapest was on there.

And lo, I have discovered the potatoes. Compared to OKC or Match, or POF even, it is disturbing.

OKC will do me for the moment if things don't work out with Buffy and my charm fails me at the Expat things.

(Oh the girl from Accounting at the company do got very drunk and spent an hour in the loo, I made sure she got a cab home. She became much less attractive with sick in her hair, so nothing happened)

Now Bant...can I ask.....would you like an Angel Delight enema?

Zoosk I have not heard good things about

My (much younger) friend talked me into downloading something called 'Skout'. I lasted 3 hours before I deleted it. Made some of the tats on pof look positively sophisticated.

Oh Ike

I can happily report the fanny wax was much less painful this time around..

ike - no I would not.

I have always suspected the 'poo' in 2 girls 1 cup video to be butterscotch angel delight.

Well it appears you are probably correct in your suspicions lubes..

Oh thank goodness Bant...

What style of fanny waxing have you gone for Ike? I usually do it meself but I may 'treat' myself amd get it done properly for the trip up north.

Brazillian at mo Wine..

Proper hardcore fanny waxing then Ike. I may go Hollywood I think. I haven't ever had a professional one

oh do it...its fine!

I think I may! Fingers crossed I have good cause to.

Yes indeedy..

I really want to go and be waxed. But I am far too cringed out by the idea of having to lie there with my nether regions out...even thinking about it is bad enough, so low is my threshold!

The lovely Ex used to go and get his BSC done regularly but I wasn't persuaded by him saying he never felt embarrassed, I just know I would.

Some nice underwear on eBay at the moment!

Now OWW when you say nice underwear on e-bay I am assuming new...

I never have done bikini line waxing but do consider it. Might do it one day I suppose...

Ewwww yes I'm not a knicker sniffer I'll have you know

hehehe glad to hear it owww!

Hey you can get some decent money selling smelly shoes on Ebay you know (and underwear I imagine). not that I've looked into it, oh no

Velvet, it's not as embarrassing as you think it's going to be, honest.

Do you think red silk is a no-no with reddish hair? Usually go for black or cream but I am tempted!

And a womans worn socks. Come on use your imagination

They were pointed out to me on another site.

How much do you get for a worn sock? Enough to pay for an evening's babysitting???

and really manky slippers

Ballet pumps is a good one. Cheapo from Primark, wear em driving with no socka and you're off! Apparently. I've never got round to doing anything with this info.

OWW You to have to model the sock. Among other items. Jodphurs being another.

What's all this angel delight business? I need to be updated

Seems like we are all having a good munch tonight! Well I came home for the night with dd! I was feeling so pissed off at not being in my home.

I ate a family sized chocolate dessert with chocolate brownies and chic mouse and cream! Yum! Then ordered pizza and watched a Disney film and romantic film with dd (5) and she said what a lovely evening we are having! I think she is right

Normal I feel trapped when I'm home alone but right now I appreciate it!

Western - I know how you feel at lack of babysitters and would be nice to be able to go out more

Oh that's me out, then, horrible feet! It's a whole other world out there! I bet they send pervy messages on the 'Ask the seller' thing.

Evening, all.

Just read through the thread and I have to say that the Angel Delight Enema has me aghast! There is no limit to the depths of people's weirdness!

(though I might like to mention to Nora that we use Angel Delight with barium, in the same room they use for the enemas - I'm never going to be able to walk into that room without smirking again and thinking of Ike)

The Feedback was an eye opener

Flipper that is too funny! hahaa

Yeah my feet are horrible (bad circulation) so I might ask a mate to do it. Apparently you have to have a bit of the shoe on in all pics though or you'll get banned. Bit od leg helps too.

You can tell I am skint and have researched this (and have a bag of crappy shoes in a cupboard)

Oh do you, Flipper ? I think I know your profession in that case, which means that a. I was wrong and b. you're the only member of that profession I've ever liked.

As a student I once turned up to work to be told it was my day to insert an enema tube ( in a patient, I worked with some pervs but there were limits ). I honestly thought they were joking, I'd chosen my course partly because I reasoned there'd be no dealing with arses. The extent of the training was a whispered 'use lots of KY' - it was the first time I'd seen piles, I thought he had some terrible disease.

Oh god..Flipper he has probably somehow connected it and turned it into a kink!

Oh god does he actually DO it Ike? I thought it was just theoretical!

Well apparently so! Its his 'thing'...

what a fuckmuppet

Hahahah..I quite like him actually ....never gonna meet him ...fun chat though

Oh now that is just wrong. I consider myself pretty open minded but no. Just no. You could ask him if he'd like you to blow Primula down his bellend with a straw?

Ha ha Yeah that would be good or ...my fave....Tartex! I think its for mutual pleasure though...the by products that is....

yes what a fuckmuppet. I like MUCH ruder things than angel delight up my bum, the amateur.

winefiend... laughing so much at the primula

I know.....Wine that is KLASSIC...

I should let you loose on him Lubes...bloody hell he'd probably fart, blush and wet himself

To be honest much prefer Philidelphia. Garlic and herb. Obviously. Has a wee bit of a nip to it.

Wine, that made me snort!

Ooh, Nora, what did you think I was? I know we have a dreadful reputation, and I have to admit I have met several colleagues over the years that have earnt it for us! For some reason it's a profession that attracts people who take themselves too seriously.

I'm single handedly trying to persuade other professions that we can be quite nice!

And the Primula would have to be the one with 'ham' bits in it.

Mutual pleasure?!

Oh I do love a lovely bowl (bowel?) of shitty Angel Delight

Ha ha Wine yep....shared out equally mind and you have to eat it all up! He he

Oh my word. Wow, there really is a weird amd wonderful world out there.

My mum puts Angel Delight in her trifles. Never again will I be able to consume it the same way.

Yep Wine ....and its all waiting for you on Intimate Encounters.....enjoy!

Thank crikey he is all the way down in Cornwall...phew!!!

I thought you were a nurse Flipper. I deal with an American member of your profession who is particularly irksome, although to be fair she didn't appear to warm to me very much when I laughed at her 'Thick 'n' Easy '. At least you're not a physio, no-one loves them

Primula's bad enough without wedging it under a foreskin - there's a sentence I never imagined I'd write.

Oh Ike, are you sure being sat on the train for a million hours just to have the possibility of having Angel Delight in your knickers for days after isn't worth it?

Yes Wine I am bloody sure! Can you imagine for what earthly reason any female would want to have pink sticky goo pumped up her arse and then licked out??? Oh now I have said it...it sounds quite appealing (jooooooking!!)

Ooh now you've put it that way, hold me back!

Might put it on me pof profile.

Bloody hell he'd be on you like an Angel Delight seeking missile, Wine!

I still find 'thick and easy' hilarious, Nora, and have never understood why they don't do promo t-shirts! In fact, I insisted we made some with iron-on transfers for an inter-departmental bowling night once.

Discharge coordinators love physios. If you can walk, you can go home. Sod the fact that you can't dress yourself or call for help if you need it.

Sorry, that's not at all dating related. Normal looking chap from pof still wants to meet me, even after I explained about my friend's solicitors appointment, and my other news from yesterday, which is that one of my dearest friends has just been diagnosed with a (slowly) progressive illness. I can't decide if he's sweet for understanding, or a bit weird for not running a mile.

( God, I'm glad to hear you say that, Flipper, I thought it was just me being immature - the t-shirt would make me laugh for months )

No, he sounds sweet for understanding and really quite keen.

Oh I know what you are now Flip with your Thick n Easy...

Dont give it to the doc Flip...he'll find a way of pumping it up someone's arse..

That angel delight thing is disgusting. It's making me feel sick! Ike can you pm me his name so I don't inadvertently come across him!

I'm sure I still have my t-shirt somewhere...Do you think I should get a picture in it for pof? What do you suppose the result would be if I changed my name to Thick n Easy?

<glares at other people who hold budgets and decided that cheaper Nutilis was better in spite of low comedy value>

How do you know about us, Ike? What do you do? I'm quite excited that people know what my job entails! No one in real life has a clue!

Oh gosh I am assuming I know....I am training in an allied healthcare profession...the one I am thinking you are Flips would recommend Thick n Easy for Dysphasia.

Flipper that's because in real life people have been so comprehensively brainwashed by Holby and its cretinous ilk, and news bulletins which refer to 'doctors and nurses, doctors and nurses' every time there's an nhs story, very few people think of any of the other myriad professions involved in healthcare - we're all like bloody Cinderella.

Ike - I think I could make a fair stab at guessing your profession now too. Impressed that you've got 'dysphasia' into the dating thread.

I'm impressed, Ike! Though I think you've been autocorrected.

I am indeed a specialist in swallowing, and I work (well, used to) with a product called Thick n Easy. I don't know how that hasn't got into the dating thread earlier!

You're right, of course, Nora. It's a shame, because I think most AHPs have far more interesting jobs than a lot of Doctors and Nurses. You, for example, can have such an amazingly varied role, even if you do have to squirt stuff up bottoms and foofs.

<really hopes that Ike isn't training to be a physio>
<adds disclaimer to last night's comment: our discharge coordinators are mostly lovely people>

Nah, I reckon Ike is way too relaxed and reasonable to be a physio - sorry physios not really

I'm always impressed by the level of anatomical knowledge your colleagues have, Flipper , even if the ones we have get right on my breasts.

My career is definitely very varied - last week I was mainly fending off inappropriate approaches from elderly men.

Only in the one area, though, Nora! Show me a knee and I wouldn't know which way up it went even!

Aha, I have a pm from Ike (and have replied, Ike) so I know what she is - and yep, far too laid back for a physio.

Still impresses me Flipper, it must be very frustrating when people have no idea of the scope of knowledge you need.

Morning all! My hangover isn't too bad, yay

Hello

My bed has been invaded by (admittedly nice) children so have left it. Some housework is calling

Morning. I feel my batteries have been recharged after a night completely alone. Noboby wanting a piece of me.

Going to spend the day with some mates and horses

Have a great Sunday!

Morning! Have finished wallpapering dd's room - it was one of those friezes where you have twelve pieces to put together to make a scene to cover the wall, so a lot of faffing about making sure everything's aligned. Feeling a real sense of achievement!

Also feeling really wound up and anxious about LM. He's not read a text I sent him yesterday lunch time which is unusual and now I'm imagining all sorts of stupid things. Haven't got a definite date for seeing him as I was hoping to see him this weekend but he has been manic with shop stuff which is fair enough. Can someone please tell me to calm down and that none of this means anything?

Going to do last bit of painting in dd's room this afternoon and fix some new skirtings, then we're about done! Another room off my list. I'm getting there, slowly

OWW all will be well meanwhile...

and very well done on the wallpapering, you should be proud of yourself! Did she take that last piece of wallpaper off herself in the end?

You have just answered your own concern there OWW, lovely, he is probably too busy to go through texts....panic ye not!

Ha yes she blooming well did Juliette. Took over a fortnight but I can out-stubborn her any day (even though she's a Taurus).

I have only got stairs and landing, front room and bathroom to decorate now! Oh and the Room of Doom but I need to decide what I'm going to do with it first - maybe utility room? Home gym hahahaha? Actually it's just occurred to me that maybe I could partition a bit off for a separate loo which is desperately needed. Hmm, interesting thought!

That's what I need .... a 'hardcore' fisherman.....

How about a sex dungeon OWW????

....I think I have had my head turned by IE POF....sorry everybody....

ike I'm starting to worry about you...

Western, well done on the decorating! I agree with Juliette definitely be proud of yourself I seriously need a kick up the arse to get on with mine (and the rest of this bloody house ). If I spent as much time doing stuff as I do procrastinating about it the whole house would have been finished ages ago...

And yes, don't worry re LM. It will all be fine!

shame I don't think I can say the same about C

Ike do we need to tell you to step away from IE?

Yes...I think so Velv...before I become a perv...

Ike your reformation is like that episode of SITC when Charlotte has to be rescued from her Rabbit

I know Jule....from iron clad knickers to food enemas and sex dungeons in the space of 2 days!!

See, what did I tell you? Nice phone call off LM. Work almost finished in the shop, official opening tomorrow (though it's been sort of open last week for appointments). All good stuff. He's not been sleeping well with worrying about shop things, so I hope he'll be able to relax a bit soon.

Ah good stuff OWW.

TT has blocked me on fb. AIBU to blackmail the bastard?

Blocked you on fb!

What a fucking coward.

Blocked you. That is really nasty. Sorry.

Gonna walk my dog. Make enough flapjacks to live off for a week.

Then the hospital. Oh joy.

I know! I never even messaged or chatted to him on there or anything. Suppose that answers the question though doesn't it. For whatever reason he's not coughing up the promised amount and obviously thinks he's right not to.

This is the man who sobbed about his condition and being ashamed of himself for not getting a vasectomy. And who couldn't eat for a week for all the worry that I might want to go ahead.

Baffling and yes cowardly. wtf?

Honestly Lubey I could easily give up men if it wasn't for the sex. Bloody sex will be my downfall.

Lubey what a cowardly, nasty thing to do. Loads of hugs to you. Must be like a luck in the gut when you're expecting him to do the decent thing. So sorry he's turned crap, well worse than crap.

I tend to think those who block on fb are a little bit self important and believe that their rejection will lend the wounded party to boil bunnies all over their wall. In reality, it's far nicer to have a good rant about them far, far away from fb, occasionally updating ones b with what a splendid time you're having of things.

The faceblock is the epitome of self aggrandising passive aggressive twattishness.

I am noticing on POF a preponderance of names like 'brian-wants-to-give-you-one' and 'dave-shag-and-run'
whatever makes them think that will work??
would I call myself 'sarah-pet-assassin'

just read a blokes profile, 'So why not through caution to the wind and have some fun'

another says 'Rocking & Rolling and weaving threw the punches...'

shit for brains

lubey I think it's more cowardice as in not being able to face you than some attempted slight. Whatever, not acceptable. You need the money, he owes you the money, gloves are off. Do whatever you need to do.

Small claims court Lubey?

I'm sorry, Lubes what a pathetic person he turned out to be. How enormously disappointing.

well Juliette I happen to have saved a few of his friends and families pages, because i thought he would do this... just a nagging feeling. I'm considering sending them screenshots of the skype conversation where he made the promises that he would do whatever it took to make it easier on me, and agreed a specific amount for going private.

I don't know if I should really just forget it and take the hit myself though. he did pay some of it after all.

I find TT's behaviour so offensive...sorry Lubes yep...do what needs to be done. x

WFF it's not worth the small claims court fees. Plus I can't remember his address! I know his workplace though.

Oh, and a baking afternoon here too, I think know it's because I need some sexy time.

What kind of percentage has he paid so far *Lubey?

Whether you do anything else just has to be your decision, what you would feel best with.

Kin get on effing IE for the final time!

lubey I'd be tempted to text him and tell him he has x amount of days to cough up before you fire it off to family/work. Spineless fucker.

Unless there is some kind of written agreement I cant see that Lubey would have a leg to stand on legally (?)

Of course he has behaved like an utter cad but it just sounds as if he was so desperate to avoid her going ahead with the pregnancy that he said whatever he thought would make her have it terminated asap.

Perhaps the facebook blocking was because he thought she might post something on there that would let his friends know what a bastard he's been?

I'd probably be tempted to let his friends & family know

Perhaps have a good rant and be absolutely fucking furious for a day or two then move on. He knows, he is a bastard. What a low down good for nothing!

he's paid 55% of what he said he would OWW

Winefiend that did cross my mind too but I don't want to cross the line into blackmail although apparently it would be within the law as it's warranted and reasonable and not unwarranted

That is rubbish lubey

Lubey that really stinks! how cowardly, I agree with WFF, he knows he's a bastard

and his 55% of the promised amount was about 20% of what the whole sorry situation ended up costing me

just a thought but instead of getting angry with him, what about a text to say how disappointed you are that he hasn't responded, doesn't appear to going to honour his promise, that you thought he was a better man than that and it really is quite despicable to behave like that, you thought he would be someone who would keep a promise once it is made etc etc...... maybe, just maybe it might shame him into doing the right thing?

Lubey <puts work hat on> I would keep your evidence powder dry for now and think about how you may want to approach it. I can see how writing it off would appeal but I also think you may get really pissed off about it later down the line. If you decide to get him to pay up, perhaps send him a polite 'reminder' of your Skype conversation in case he has 'forgotten'. That would serve the dual purpose of an implicit threat clarifying any confusion and give him an out opportunity to do the right thing. Cunt.

By reminder I mean a screenshot/copy.

my last text was kinda like that lulu, plus explaining how much it cost me too with the lost work and physical toll it took.

and that got me an fb block, nice. I can still see him and all friends family and details from my work fb though... eejit.

Juliette letting him off would be a big thing for me to do because I'm in court on the 22nd for council tax (well I won't be because I can pay it before then in full, but only just!)

So yeah. The thought of making no further attempt to extract the remainder from his grubby tightarse hands is already majorly pissing me off.

But... I dunno. There's something that is really not 'me' about bothering any further with him. I'm so used to cutting assholes completely dead!

It's not about bothering with him, he is already toast. It's about the money.

I know, I just hate giving anyone the satisfaction of knowing they have driven me to bother myself about their stupid behaviour. I'd much rather always give off an air of 'and that day, not a single fuck was given'

This is different, the practical side is not personal it's just money. The rest, hell yes of course but you know you can always give the air of not giving a toss later It's whatever is best for you though

Lubey I'm sorry, what a complete and utter dick he's being

I agree the FB block thing was cowardly, I suspect because he's decided he can't/won't pay he thinks if he hides from you on FB you will back down and not chase him for it wankbadger.

My mum brought me up with the not engaging with assholes approach (when she split up with an Ex - before my dad - he ended up with her entire and extensive record collection because she refused to chase him to give it back...) I have written off money, possessions etc many times BUT I think there comes a point where you think No, I'm not standing for it. Especially as you do really need the money.

I know it feels uncomfortable but the thing is, he offered the sodding money in the first place apparently just to ease his conscience and without any intention of paying . He knows he needs to pay, hence hiding from you. Call his bluff, email him with a reminder of your conversation as Juliette says. Hopefully that will prick his conscience sufficiently to make him pay what he owes.

fair do's then Lubey you've tried the "I thought you were a decent man" approach and it didn't work. As Juliette says, it's about the money now, so a little reminder bloody big memory jog with a copy of the skype conversation would seem in order

at 'and that day, not a single fuck was given'

Lubey - delurking again ... I'd send this along with the messages where he agreed to pay up.

Message 1:
I see you blocked me on FB, which is understandable as you probably don’t want a constant reminder of the sad times that we went through together. Unfortunately I also have a worrying niggle that it signifies that you don’t intend to pay what you agreed to pay but I very much hope I’m wrong as I had thought you to be far more honourable than that.

We met for fun, we had a lot of fun and what happened to us was horrendous but I cannot erase the memory of what happened, nor the impact on my finances, by magically deleting those few weeks of my life at the press of a computer button. I hope that I have misunderstood you.

Message 2:
In the event of no reply to Message 1, I'd then send a repeat of Message 1 within a couple of days with this at the end but only if I were prepared to follow it through:

... I would not want to have to contact [small claims court/friends/parents/family - delete as appropriate] for the money - explaining the situation to them would just prolong the bad memories for all concerned.

hmm ok. I may go for the gentle reminder then with a sweet, delicate and breezy air of 'you're messing with the wrong bitch here dude' Rather than 'not a single fuck given'

Lawyer Velvet a promise to pay is still a contract? I know it may not be worth taking it to court but the fact that she could do may be enough.

Yes nothing to loose with that for openers Lubey. The fucker doesn't realise he is actually messing with an 'atrocious bunch of MN cunts' does he

Lubey-I'd imagine he thinks that if he ignores you you'll go away..e-mailing with a reminder of the conversation (do you have an actual recording, or e-mail exchange?) may also be taken as a subtle hint that you might show the evidence to other people?

BeforeAndAfter, thanks I really like that approach and message. I may send pretty much a carbon copy of it.

And yes velvet and all, you are right it is about the money now and not anything else. I had long decided I wasn't all that interested in him anymore.

mercury I have it all in writing from messages on skype.

B&A great post

I've just googled the small claims court and I'd be tempted (for Message 2) to download the form, complete a draft and send it along to him with the informational leaflets about the process to "give him a chance to comment so you get your facts right" before you start the tedious process of the claim. That should put the wind up him.

I also think the suggestion from B&A is very good, it sounds calm and in control with just the right hint of threat.

I'd imagine that having the skype conversation copied back to him a few times will make him think about how he'd feel if his friends & family read it

OK, I've emailed. And text to tell him he has mail.

dont fuck about with any of that boiling rabbits nonsense, take advice from B&A, straight for the jugular!

B&A I like this. From what I remember you have had a lot of experience in dealing with abject twuntery.

Legally a 'contract' doesn't have to be formally written, or indeed written at all ( I once successfully claimed about £75k for a client based on an oral variation of an informal written contract!) yes tell him small claims court, (even if you don't intend to) let me know if you need any help with the forms.

Lubey, the 'nest of MN vibers' will get this sorted.

I'd be turning up at his place of work in two months time with a cushion stuffed up my frock and running mascara, the fucker.

As if you haven't had enough to contend with lubes and now this.

Snape, lmfao at the cushion idea!

Nothing yet...

He must have got my text because he just came online on skype

that's because his hands are shaking so much he can't type a reply yet!!

I'll give it half an hour then send the second version if the mail. he's quite a slow typist so I'll give him a little time to reply.

I expect I'm blocked on skype and that email now too (if he knows how to do it with his email provider) but I have a work addy he doesn't know yet that I can send it from.

And a work phone I can text from in case he's blocked that too after the last text.

or should I leave it til tomorrow?

lubey what a cunt .. However he also sounds like a coward so hopefully the threat of the small claims court will make him cough up without much further ado

I'd say it's reasonable to give him 24 hours to respond to the first e-mail?

I'd be inclined to leave it until tomorrow or the day after then it looks like you're just taking it in your stride and in business mode rather than "incensed female mode".

Eurgh, Lubey.

So sorry that he's turned out to be such a twunt, after he seemed so decent. It smacks of 'not my problem now'.

Ok, I'll leave it til tomorrow.

If you're going for the small claims court threat it gives you a chance to do the forms as I'd send those with the 2nd e-mail. You don't want to drip feed him e-mails and get into that "... and another thing you bastard" mode by sending a 3rd e-mail with forms - plus he might have blocked you on whichever address you subsequently use. Do you have his home address in case he keeps blocking?

No B&A I can't remember any part of it at all. Which is annoying but I had severe pregnancy brain at the time. Just work addy.

Work's probably better to be honest as he'll be more motivated to keep this out of the office.

In the second e-mail, should it get that far, and subject to fact pattern (i.e. if he blocks you on Skype etc), I'd include this:

"As you are blocking each e-mail address I use to contact you, you leave me with no choice but to use your work address to ensure that I am able to demonstrate to the courts clear communication with you. Obviously I would prefer not to do that."

If you know his full name and town of residence I expect 192 will tell you his home address. You need to pay though.

nods in agreement at small claims courts forms accompanying the 2nd email. This is making my blood boil.

Yeah I know the name and town.

hmm.

Growl.

Lubey defo wait until tomorrow, it's all business now and gives him more time to sweat I've seen The Sweeny. You have everything to gain here he has everything to loose so lets hope he sees sense in his own self interest.

Oh... he's back online on skype... not blocked there yet then.

<waits...>

Lubey I've pm'd you.

..and I'm holding your hand and pouring virtual

Can't believe he's acting like such a twat. It's just the last thing you need on top of everything else. Really poor behaviour.

I'm hoping he'll reply soon if he's on Skype now. Got everything crossed.

Got a reply. being a total asshole. brb

Hmm. is he whining or is it an outright "no"?

He was whining. Saying he didn't appreciate being asked for money 'out of the blue' and 'guilt tripped'

I've put him straight, very politely, along with the screenshot of the conversation where he agreed.

Super nice and lovely, I was.

He was arsey though. Ha. I'm winning.

You've already won. Twat faced twat.

OUT OF THE BLUE?! I am raging on your behalf lubey. Cock.

Agree with Snape. Whether he pays or not you've already won. Nice and icy does it

I know, winefiend, I know. I am channeling my rage into super polite businesswomanwhowillwin mode.

He said he'd give it to you around the time when it was done if I remember correctly so nearly a month ago and gave you less then than he was meant to. Am also virtually hand holding

most men say they like facts so keep giving him facts. I think draft forms for the small claims court are very factual.

You could go back and tell him that "out of the blue" would be asking him for 50% and you're only asking for 20% per your contract (use the word contract, it IS a contract).

Icy and factual does it ...

Give him good fact girl.

Yep, all factual and polite. Contract is a good word.

I'll use that if he's an asshole again in the next reply. Or if there's no reply.

can I just say at this point that i love you lot for giving me the nudge to do it

Right.

compose me a reply please before I explode with THE RAGE

"To me 3 weeks of no contact and then requests for money seems quite out of the blue.

I gave you everything I could on the day and its left me short too.

I don't really know why you want another £150 from me, or £350 in total, for a £535 treatment"

Ah TT, you fool, crossing the vipers. What were you thinking ?

A quick afterthought - cowards don't like confrontation so he won't want to meet you to pay cash so give him the option of wiring you the money by offering your bank details. I wouldn't be inclined to offer him the option of posting you a cheque - you want it all done in real-time so you can keep the momentum; you're more likely to win with momentum. Procrastinators tend to bore us up-and-at-em sort and then we can't be arsed and go off in search of a new mouse to play with... don't let that happen to this rodent.

Lubey he's begging for it isn't he. Yep, give him fact.

. Bloody fool

Lubey, go and walk round the block or punch your pillow or something, get a bit of that rage out.

But really, how bloody dare he?

B&A has totally got the measure of him.

Wtf? how about, as part of a more considered reply,

'you gave me everything you could on the day and it's left me short'

Well, consider yourself fortunate that "on the day" all you had to do was part with some money, as I actually had to go through the procedure, which was a lot more painful that parting with some cash.

I still need a cutting, factual reply.

The three weeks of no contact... excuse me but he hasn't contacted me either, and this is humiliating so I was actually hoping to be in a flush enough position not to have to trouble him for it. I paid for it via overdraft which was temporary and being called in soon... hence approaching him now.

Helphelphelp with a factual reply including the word contract

"I had thought highly of you and believed you when you agreed to pay me XX. I didn't contact you straight away as I needed time to recover from the physical impact on my body and wanted to give you time to come to terms with what had happened. I also quietly hoped that you would 'do the decent thing' and honour your agreement without my request.

As you agreed to pay XX I made a decision to have the procedure done privately which has now put me in a position where, I'm embarrassed to say, I am unable to meet other bills. It boils down to the fact that I relied on you and, as much as I hate to use legal-style language, I relied on the contract between us.

Please send me the money you agreed to pay to XX account. I truly do not want any further bad memories between us."

Lubey up to you at this stage as to whether or not you use the small claims court threat. I think you are bouncing this rodent on your paw.

Of topic this knobber is clearly getting his kicks trying to set women up. Against my better judgement I replied to a one sentence message and got a very polite message back claiming he'd talked to his gf last night and she would like to try meeting a woman. Trouble is, he had clearly copied and pasted as he had added my name but forgotten to remove the name of some other woman. Knobber.

Off topic too, but I thought it may cheer people up from general twattishness:

This is just brilliant. I especially love #11

Also I should point out that the subject of #19, Rob Roy, is my great-great-great-great-great grandfather. Apparently.

Nameless mentioned 'eloping' in a scrabble convo tonight choose your hats ladies has he no idea how we do things?

Eloping sounds an excellent idea Snape

De lurks.- little suggestion

"I had thought highly of you and believed you when you agreed to pay for my operation to be done at a private clinic. I didn't contact you straight away as I needed time to recover from the mental and physical impact the operation had on me and wanted to give you time to come to terms with what had happened. I also quietly hoped that you would 'do the decent thing' and honour your agreement without my request.

maybe?

'fingers crossed for lubey'

tweed before you re-lurk... That's fab. Factual. Classy. Tempered.

thank you B&A <worships at feet>

I'll save the small claims threat for his reply following this one if it's anything but 'fine, have the money'

Ok. tis sent.

miranda god, no, I've known him for six weeks rrrrrrr that would be foolish.

lubey. Can I reiterate that you have acted with integrity throughout this and I have huge amounts of respect for you. He's being a bit of a dick. You shine, sister.

Lubey well done for sending it.

I probably wouldn't have said the 'thought highly of' bit but other that my evil lawyer brain would have come up with something v similar.

I really REALLY hope he now says 'Ok, have the money' even if it is (almost undoubtedly) in the manner of a petulant child who has been told to return something that they want but which doesn't belong to them...

Velv, great minds think alike... I didn't send the 'thought highly of' bit

I included a line also about not understanding why there is any dispute here, referring him to the section of conversation in the skype chat where he said he would do anything to make it easier.

Lubey I'm glad you didn't send that bit.

I think reminding him of what he said previously is good too.

He really is being a whiny little shit about this. And what annoys me is that its that hes saying he cant afford it (that still wouldnt be an excuse imo), seems more like he just resents being asked Utter, utter, knob.

Prepare to be even more annoyed.

He earns 70k absolute minimum for his field. Two modest properties, one he rents out long term with no problems, no dependants.

I get the feeling his idea of 'being short' is very different to that of a renting single parent on 25/30k who has paid out vastly more than him to cover the situation.

Lubey, I even think whether he has been left 'short' is besides the point.

The point is that he offered to pay for private treatment and you only went ahead on the basis of that offer.

Had it been some other matter you might have got the money upfront before you went ahead, but you were physically & emotionally very vulnerable and in your situation who wouldn't have trusted him and taken his kindness as genuine.

Hi ladies

lubey amazing as ever!! You are getting brilliant advice off the lovely people of MN tonight! He is messing with the wrong woman!

It is off with Mr Irish. I have always said I had my doubts and this week they came to fruition. Every communication we have had since Monday has been about how stressed he is at work and home. I have been sympathetic but tbh I don't like the way he has handled the stress (kept that to myself). I have been ill this week with awful viral thing and he didn't offer any support. Texts have got fewer and really boring. Defo not doing it for me. I sent him a text yesterday that he hasn't replied to. Pissed me off big time. Made me feel needy checking my phone every 5 mins like I want him when I know really that he isn't for me. Then tonight I went online and he was there too. Rat. Inwanted things to be fun and easy and this situation wasnt either. Nor did he mentally stimulate me, his spelling was awful and he had a potentially chavvy background! So I have wrote him off. Not sent him a text or anything but just mentally closed the Mr Irish door. Has upset me a bit because it was nice having someone but I know he wasn't doing it properly for me. I also has sex for the first time since exh and that was a big thing for me to do (but didn't actually feel that massive a deal when I had done it!!) and I don't think I liked his way!

So now I am just after a bit of advice. I realise I am the needy type. Can anyone recommend any good books on how not to be needy and how to value your life without a man in it. I need to be on my own for a bit. Everything is speeding up around me (job, divorce, kids, fab new social life etc) and I need to focus on that for a bit!

Sorry to interrupt lubey

Thanks mercury, very good point, he has had plenty of time to plan for it too, if it were me I'd have been expecting to give the remaining money at some point soon. yeah I did trust him, he was nothing other than totally devastated by the situation and very kind about it and good with it.

Oh he's online again here we go again I expect...

Pomegranate I think that stuff just sort of comes to you in time

I'm not sure of any books on the subject but hopefully someone else will know

I watched we bought a zoo earlier and am now watching ghost .. Is if too much to ask to find a man like Benjamin or Sam ??

Got the Sunday (dd away to her dad's) blues

Lubey what Mercury said. This is just him with his back against the wall trying to justify himself. Doesn't matter if he's 'short' or not, he owes you big time. Lets remind ourselves, he took one/two days off, was able to work throughout (you lost working time), didn't have to deal with any of the physical trauma, didn't have his to book and pay for a hotel. All he had to do was come up with part of the payment and be there for 24 hrs, he is being mean now in the full sense of the word.

kirsty bad choice of films for a down day!! Good men are out there waiting to find good women like us. Everything happens at the right time and pace.

Don't be down. Let your mind wander back to your brill NYC trip...

Juliette yes I agree, thanks. He took it as holiday as well , just one day, so really hasn't lost anything.

This is why the post is often misdirected, he's a postman

I LIKE TO GO TO THE GYM AT LEST 4 TIMES A WEEK AND TO HANGOUT WITH FRIENDS ASMUCH AS POSABLE
I WOULD LIKE TO TRAVLE MORE IM EASY GOING PERSON LET MOST THINGS SLIDE CANT BE ARSST WITH RUDE PEOPLE
BUT I CAN BE VERY CAREING PERSON ASW WELL

Bant I'm joining No 30. Naturist dangly bits has to be better than POF's more erect members.

Clown Dating looks only marginally less attractive than Match ...

I know it's cruel Juliette, but I just want to point & laugh @ the postie

Pom this is the first time I've been all by myself with nothing to do since I decided I've had enough of mr cheeky .. I had New York and then DD's birthday .. But today at lunchtime DD went to her dad .. I am feeling really sad and a trip to the gym didn't work so I went to the cinema to see the great and powerful oz didn't work either

I know I gave done the right thing .. He is a loser and a waste of space but I still feel very down and weepy

ARRST?

I just can't even...

kirsty mr cheeky never sounded quite right. He was a distraction but think issues arise when the distraction proves to be more of a problem than fun.

It is sad being on your own at times. I expect you are coming down from the mighty high of new home, NYC, dd birthday. Tomorrow is another day and you will wake up feeling positive. But I know it is crap. And it is hard at times to pick yourself up. But that is what we do, because we are amazing and resilient. You don't need mr cheeky bringing you down. You really don't!!

Sorry you are feeling so low Kirsty. You did what was right for you about Mr Cheeky but it will still hurt and you're bound to be thinking about him. It's very early days at the moment still. I think you're doing the right thing keeping busy. Tomorrow will be a better day.

He messaged me, it is clear on my profile that we wouldn't be suited and he is not a looker either. At some point, stupid just doesn't know it is.

Kirsty sorry to hear you are feeling it tonight, it will pass, meanwhile there is crap tv and the fridge.

and soooo much crap tv...

*pom^ I know I don't need him ..I have had several 'entitled loser' type texts from him since last week .. I am ignoring now .. We used to be in constant contact so there is a bit of a gap now .. I will get over it .. I will not contact him .. My gut instinct when I started seeing him in sept was avoid avoid and yet I kept seeing him <slaps self round head >

You as well Pom - sorry I missed your post, reading the thread backwards isn't a clever idea. Realising that things aren't right and then doing something about it is the opposite of needy! You should be feeling really proud of yourself for getting out of something that wasn't working - its not always the easiest thing to do. It sounds like your life's going really well, plenty of stuff going on, so maybe just keeping busy, seeing friends, working, making sure you have a full life without a man is the way to go. It all sounds so positive for you at the moment.

Oops Pom only you know if you feel needy but Mr Irish didn't come up to scratch and you have stopped it so I'd say you're on your way

oww thank you! It is positive for me at the mo but feel like I am never that far away from it all going wrong. And all the positives in my life come with a major catch but I suppose that is just the way things are. I am getting stronger every day but know its not an overnight thing. Healing is a slow process but I know I will get there!!

kirsty it's that gap that is difficult to manage! You need to be busy. Full your diary with fun stuff. Make your life sooooooo filled with fun stuff that you will forget mr cheeky ever existed let alone occupied space in your life.

Kirsty you definitely did the right thing. I'm sure you'll feel better soon, hang on in there

No further reply although he was online for quite a while... hmm.

I know that I am needy but think that comes from being in a relationship with someone since I was 16. I've never really done the being in my own thing. That is changing though. I have truly amazing friends and have had brilliant night out with them recently. Had some awful hangovers too!! I need to focus on the good stuff not the bad.

No one ever said that life would be easy, did they...?

great advice from oww there pomegranate... you're really doing well and you're gonna be fine.

pom no they didn't but good friends make it all worthwhile

Lubey do you think no more replies means that (hopefully) he realises he's behaved like a dick and is now going to pay what he owes?

I really REALLY hope that's the case. Fingers crossed.

I'd like to hope so velvet but I do doubt it. I think there's more whingeing to come... he didn't take well to being beaten irrefutably before did he and still tried to twist things...

Lubey I hope he thinks about it and tomorrow decides to do you the 'favour' to shut you up or something

Its probably too much to hope he will be guilted by his conscience...although as Juliette says he might pay up in the sense of a 'favour' and with very bad grace.

If he doesn't then we will unleash the forces of the small claims court (or the threat of it at least) on him...

He's obviously feeling some guilt to have felt the effect of a guilt trip... if i wasn't right that wouldn't have even occurred to him. Whether it will have enough effect or not... who knows. we'll see what he says tomorrow, guessing there won't be anything til evening tomorrow now, if anything at all.