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Dating chat thread 46

(1000 Posts)
lubeybooby Thu 14-Mar-13 13:37:55

all dating related chit chat here!

off we go

lubeybooby Thu 14-Mar-13 13:42:30

yoohoo daters waves

Snapespeare Thu 14-Mar-13 13:50:53

placemark of general grin smugness.

lubeybooby Thu 14-Mar-13 13:54:47

grin

God, that time again???

lubeybooby Thu 14-Mar-13 14:32:14

Yep, again already!

OhWesternWind Thu 14-Mar-13 14:33:19

What's the plan for Saturday Lubey?

lubeybooby Thu 14-Mar-13 14:42:13

OWW he's arriving about 2pm, so said I'd give him time to settle in and we'd meet about 6pm. Then the plan is drinks, dinner, drinks, drinks, and then presuming all is well and that and neither of us have run away screaming (unlikely both seen lots of pics etc and personalities seem to gel) then back to his room..

Bant Thu 14-Mar-13 14:47:37

Don't get me wrong. I wear glasses. When I go out I'm often in contacts though. I can't say she looks better with the glasses off compared to on because the overall effect of big glasses and a big plastic beady chain is almost like a veil - its actually difficult to see how she looks at all. They're overpowering. She's not less attractive with them on, she's just obscured by brown plastic

And yes she's a geek. That is good. I'm seeing her on Wednesday when I'm back in the country. I think I may cancel date 3 with medstudent as I don't want to shag and dump, and don't want to stay with her out of guilt. And she's made clear date 3 would be mostly naked.

OhWesternWind Thu 14-Mar-13 14:49:37

That sounds pretty good, you lucky thing you!

My Saturday evening from 6pm is likely to involve Hygiene Wars with the dcs and crap telly as its highlights ... When I am explaining through gritted teeth for the nth time why you aren't washed if you've not actually used any soap, there you will be swinging from the chandelier with a rose between your teeth (or something) and a hot man waiting in the wings. Jealous, moi???

OhWesternWind Thu 14-Mar-13 14:53:23

That sounds like a good plan Bant re med student and also one of self-preservation - I'd not be surprised if getting nekkid induced new levels of bitiness to parts previously out of range ...

lubeybooby Thu 14-Mar-13 14:59:47

OWW grin the joys of having freedom as an adult! Something I've never had before in my adult life.

I went from school teen to mother to working and studying mother to single and working and studying mother through crap marriage out the other side doing the single and working and studying mum thing again but then joyously stopped needing babysitters about a year ago. It's... it's... a revelation! All so new and weird. Yet I have the benefit of years of experience too. So I can go out and be a bit wild but also avoid twats. I have to say I really do love it grin

MirandaWest Thu 14-Mar-13 15:07:53

My Saturday will have watching children climb up walls, going to see Oliver with them in a local theatre smile and then everyone going to bed a bit late. And hoping we all wake up late too grin

Tonight I will be all alone which is a litte unusual. May go running after dropping DC off with XH.

OhWesternWind Thu 14-Mar-13 15:39:36

Very appositely, have just had a Wowcher e-mail through featuring hipster-style (read Scooby-style) glasses with clear lenses which are this season's hottest look. So I think you should just bow down before her gloriously trend-setting stylishness Bant and learn to love the glasses.

Lose the chain though.

KirstyWirsty Thu 14-Mar-13 16:15:27

Marking my spot .. Going to set up an OKC profile on Sunday when DD goes to her dad's .. Onward and upward and all that .. Had a few texts from Mr Cheeky while I was in New York which I have ignored .. He let me down for the last time last week

I'm hoping to tap the rich vein of gorgeous Glaswegians that lubey and wine have found (although us that on POF)

mercury7 Thu 14-Mar-13 17:01:57

this thread series is fairly galloping along!

Flipper924 Thu 14-Mar-13 17:14:50

Hello new thread.

Got asked out on a date by a normal looking bloke on pof, only to receive a text from a friend asking me to go to the solicitor with her on Friday because her husband's left her. I don't think I will be in a dating mood!

I am therefore looking forward to hearing all your stories...

Winefiend Thu 14-Mar-13 17:31:41

Kirsty oh I think Lubey is far more successful than me on that front! I had a quick look at that 'meet me' thig on pof earlier for Glasgow. Hmmmmm a lorra spuds.

lubeybooby Thu 14-Mar-13 17:34:57

I never even looked at the 'meet me' grin don't bother with that shite.

All I can promise you is that they are better than in my area... if you don't believe me, change your area to Leicester and try that wink then come back and tell me I'm wrong for swooning at the haven of lovely (in comparison) Glaswegian gents....

lubeybooby Thu 14-Mar-13 17:35:40

Oh Flipper I think that would put me off feeling like it too!

Winefiend Thu 14-Mar-13 17:38:33

lubey oh I find it quite quick as I can zoom through at warp speed grin nonononono is generally what I am encountering at the mo. When I have more time on Sat I'll have another wee go I think. Though at the rate my week is panning out, I may not have time for a man!

ike1 Thu 14-Mar-13 17:47:01

Yeah specs fine...lose the chain...

MirandaWest Thu 14-Mar-13 17:51:50

I am sitting in my ex husbands clapped out car with the engine running outside pets at home. This is because he left his lights on while he was at morrisons and the battery went nearly flat (car is about 22 or so. Was his granny's). They are in pets at home getting a replacement fish.

Why did I marry him? Why?

Am still intending to go running despite the rain. Will drive to mr Nices house (in my car which is next to this one) and run from there for a little variety. Then going to use his house to (a) shower and (b) have microwave ready meal as I don't have a microwave, while he is somewhere like paramount studios maybe in Los Angeles in the heat. Then I will do mystery shopping reports smile

Mercury I forgot to add have you thought about getting new glasses? to my list grin

Honestly, I have tried everything. It is quite remarkable how any glasses will turn me into a bad version of Olive with a side parting.

Over the years I've been told more than once by friends the glasses I'm wearing "really don't do anything for you". With a couple of friends, I have, after years of them badgering me, let them try some out on me in an opticians. There is a moment after a few key pairs where they go mmm. They never ask again.

Have to say though Bant that plastic beaded chain sounds like a crime . I know she can't wear metals but even so <hypocrite face>. Maybe it's some ultimate man test.confused

VelvetSpoon Thu 14-Mar-13 18:04:58

Lubey am grin but also slightly envy of your saturday plans. I will be at home watching crap TV while the DSs kill things upstairs on their X boxes. Although I might make a start on decluttering ready for the (hopefully imminent if I ever get round to booking the guy to do it) construction of my ensuite and walk in wardrobe smile

I am however going for drinks with friends tomorrow as I can't stay in all weekend. And it takes my mind off the fact I haven't see C for 3 long weeks

pixiebelle123 Thu 14-Mar-13 18:06:59

Just marking my spot in the new thread! Still dating pof man, although we did have a bit of an argument last night, he's a moody git sometimes.

I wear nerd glasses and I'm proud of it!

OhWesternWind Thu 14-Mar-13 19:23:31

How's it going with him generally Pixie? Hope there aren't too many moods from him. He should still be trying to impress you! What does he say if you pull him up on it?

Have been mailing with two gsm men who are both slightly hard work but that seems to go with the gsm territory. One seems perfectly nice but with no sense of humour or wit but that could be just in writing. The other, I don't know. Meeting the other sometime next week when he's back in London. VM (one date then he went on holiday) is back next week too, so we'll see.

I have lost 6 kg in four months. More importantly I'm getting my own shape back from a lot of gym work and can now fit into another dress again so grin

Winefiend Thu 14-Mar-13 19:32:09

It's amazing what a bit of creative googling brings up. It appears that my pof bloke has a very, VERY murky past. Now, this may go some way to explain his quietness over the past day or so.

Particularly after a conversation we had in which I mentioned I used to work in prison (but with the lads, not on the punitive side) shock

As my young friend would say OMG

mercury7 Thu 14-Mar-13 19:34:41

I've had it with the dirty sleaze site for now and have made a new pof profile, mind you there is a fair bit of overlap..but no penis pictures in profiles smile

lubeybooby Thu 14-Mar-13 19:37:31

well done Juliette!

Pixie I agree with OWW, he should be trying to impress you. You deserve more.

winefiend shock oh dear..

No reply from TT hmm

AndLibbyMakesThree Thu 14-Mar-13 19:39:45

Hmmm, might not be popular, but I had laser surgery on my eyes, and it was one of the best things I'd ever done.

I had to wear glasses from the age of 8, and hated it. Like Juliette, I could never find any that suited me. Later I wore contact lenses, but they made my eyes so sore and uncomfortable - even if I was having a great evening out, I often left early as I was desperate to take my contact lenses out. Not good.

So 6 or 7 years ago I took the plunge and had laser surgery.

Funnily enough, I quite like men who wear glasses - it's the whole 'geek look' I suppose.

Winefiend Thu 14-Mar-13 19:56:41

mercury earlier on when I had a quick glance at pof, in the 'online' bit there was a bloke whose profile pic was simply an erect penis. His, I presume. I imagine his profile didn't last long grin

OhWesternWind Thu 14-Mar-13 20:06:40

I really like men in glasses, women can look really good too. But I'm another geek lover, quite a few of us on here!

The problem with glasses is just all the practical stuff, steaming up, getting rained on, sliding about on your nose if you're hot and sweaty. Not fun! I got lasered after my son was born and it's brilliant. I wish I'd had it done sooner especially as I was really, really short sighted so it was a real problem for me.

Keep forgetting to ask Ike how's the Botox doing now you've had it a while? Did you have fillers in the end? Can't afford it at the mo but might start a Botox fund!

mercury7 Thu 14-Mar-13 20:09:20

oh jeeze Wine, is there no escape from the penis pictures confused

mercury7 Thu 14-Mar-13 20:11:18

problem I find with specs is the lack of wrap around style prescription shades, in the summer I have to wear contacts with sunglasses cuz my prescription sunglasses just let to much light in around the edges!

AndLibbyMakesThree Thu 14-Mar-13 20:13:44

Yes, the practical stuff with glasses is tricky, but for me it was more the self-esteem stuff. I went from being a 7-year-old who loved nothing more than being in front of the camera to an 8-year-old who avoided having her photo taken because I felt so ugly with glasses.

VelvetSpoon Thu 14-Mar-13 20:24:28

I am getting a (fairly modest) bonus at the end of this month nowhere near the amount a friend of mine got, who bought a brand new 4x4 for cash with hers . Normally it goes into the house repair/buying off the Ex/rainy day fund. But as I am not getting any younger hmm I am thinking of spending it on my face (Botox/fillers, that kind of thing). I would spend it on my teeth, but I don't think the amount I'm getting will come anywhere near what I'd need to spend to end up with some perfectly even smile...

If I could have laser surgery, I probably would. It's just that my chances of a successful outcome are minimal in which case I would have permanently impaired vision.

Wine what category of murky?

Pixie what's up with him? as others have said how he reacts when you pull him on it is what to watch.

Velvet braces can actually do a lot of the work if you can stand it. I think there is an emphasis on veneers etc because of the makeover programmes. The invisible braces take a lot longer and are still a bit visible though.

Snapespeare Thu 14-Mar-13 20:32:28

I think I look weird without my glasses. smile

velvet don't you dare spend good money on a load of monkey-spunk being injected into your face you are GORGEOUS and I will NOT hear another WORD about it. <crosses arms>

Had nice bath, shaved legs (!) attacked rampaging chin hairs... Am about to paint toenails..my fave pizza was yellow-ticketed in sainsbos (this always marks an evening of indulgence) and having a glass of wine. Very content. Is nice.

OhWesternWind Thu 14-Mar-13 20:37:10

I'd just like to get rid of my frown lines which make me look cross and grumpy when I'm not. Eye bags too, but they don't really bother me. All the nice lines from smiling can stay smile

Alittlestranger Thu 14-Mar-13 20:39:33

If Buffy is like any of the other geeky, Democrat activists I've known then the size of the frame and cordy thing is very much for effect. The whole kooky librarian chic thing is kind of a uniform for them.

I'm thinking of trying out Match. I've been irrationally snobby about it, but it can't all be accountants from the suburbs right?

mercury7 Thu 14-Mar-13 20:45:28

here's a potato who's helpfully named himself after a brand of crisps:

www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=51164853

grin

VelvetSpoon Thu 14-Mar-13 20:51:28

Juliette I wouldn't think it's worth the risk of permanently damaging your eyesight to have the laser stuff done (but easy for me to say as I don't wear glasses...yet). I don't think braces would do me much good, my teeth are more unevenly sized than crooked (they are crooked as well, but its more the size, and the colour, that I don't like!). I could just have them bleached but can't decide if it's worth it...

Snape grin you're too kind, I am not gorgeous (certainly wasn't earlier tonight when I was attacking my chin hairs and upper lip hairs in the magnifying mirror...!)

Winefiend Thu 14-Mar-13 20:52:00

Juliette in prison overseas for stabbing someone category of murky, together with (I suspect) either past serious drug use or dealing (I couldn't quite get the entire gist, it was some stuff I gleaned from a drug forum when I googled name/location).

Now, a murky past I do not mind at all. My future plans involve setting up my own charity around helping rehabilitate ex-offenders as I love working with them, so no judgement here.

I was just a bit shock I think as I haven't met him so obviously you're conjuring up all sorts. The man (well, youngish man) I was seeing before Xmas had spent some time inside (way back in his youth) for dealing. He told me after a few weeks (I already knew though) but it didn't concern me as he had massively turned his life around and everyone makes mistakes (albeit a huge one in that case).

To chuck in some 'woo', both of the above have the last 3 digits in their mobile numbers. As my mate said earlier, as I've deleted both their numbers, if I ever receive a text from either, I'll be wondering 'now which ex-jailbird is this?' hmm

mercury7 Thu 14-Mar-13 21:00:43

I've heard that bleaching leaves you with uber sensitive teeth?

MirandaWest Thu 14-Mar-13 21:06:29

I am scared of laser surgery going wrong - I am pretty short sighted (-11 or so in both eyes so in the "if I don't know where my glasses are before I go to sleep I've had it) category but I've worn contact lenses for over 20 years and my sight is better with them than gasses I think. Especially due peripheral vision).

How short sighted were you OWW? Was it exciting being able to see when you woke up? Sometimes I would love to have that sensation grin. Both Mr Nice and XH wear glasses. Both look a little odd without them tbh

Wine shock. It would be the stabbing I would be concerned about, thank goodness for Google.

Velvet once they are moved you may find the size thing isn't the issue you think it is grin. I did it and was surprised at how much teeth can move.

Snapespeare Thu 14-Mar-13 21:10:14

My best shortsighted story is swimming related. Always took kids swimming on a Sunday afternoon.... Always saw the same guy there as I churned my lengths. As a tattooed lady myself, was appreciative of his full body suit.

Got contact lens trial.

Turns out he was just very hairy...

mercury7 Thu 14-Mar-13 21:12:23

but swimming with contacts..surely not??

OhWesternWind Thu 14-Mar-13 21:16:34

I was pretty short sighted about -8 with my right eye a bit worse, but neither much good for any practical purpose. They said they werent sure if it would be fully correctable but I thought that even being left a bit short sighted would be a huge improvement so I went for it. In the event it worked perfectly. The first couple of weeks I just couldn't get over waking up and being able to see!! Fantastic feeling. I take it for granted a bit now though smile

Winefiend Thu 14-Mar-13 21:17:47

Juliette likewise! I'm definitely more shocked with this one than the last.

Well, at least I know it wasn't anything I did. I am just a magnet for (ex) BAD LADS it appears. To think the other month I was moaning about a lack of men 'who aren't knobheads but have a bit of an edge'. Oh dear.

Snapespeare Thu 14-Mar-13 21:24:49

Yes! Contacts swimming... Goggles... Amazing to final see where I'm off to.

So advice. Is 6 weeks too soon to develop 'feelings' (gak! GAAAAKKKK!) about someone. I should probably not mention this for a few weeks more... When does one introduce a bloke to your DCs? This is all a bit new and unexpected....

<waves at nameless... Just ignore this sweetheart... Go listen to some loopy hip hop. Love you! Eep! No, I mean ummm.... Oh. Bollocks )

Alittlestranger Thu 14-Mar-13 21:34:07

I think if Nameless has discovered the dating thread it would be good manners for him to stop reading. stares hard. You wouldn't eavesdrop on Snape in the pub would you deary?

lubeybooby Thu 14-Mar-13 21:36:44

Snape that isn't too soon at all. Quite reserved really!

Snapespeare Thu 14-Mar-13 21:37:52

I think he's too mannerly to actually google my faux pas. And if he isn't, he should be.

Assume we are alone here. Let's talk about sex baybee.

lubeybooby Thu 14-Mar-13 21:42:33

Snape as for introducing I have a six month rule with my DD. Though that could be flexible depending on how sure I am about the relationship.

MirandaWest Thu 14-Mar-13 21:46:19

Snape I definitely loved Mr Nice within 6 weeks. Quite possibly sooner (we romantically declared our mutual feelings in the fog).

I didn't introduce him to the DCs until about after about 6 months but they knew about him sooner than that. I think I didn't want to do it too soon after they had met XHs girlfriend which I think happened not long before I met Mr Nice but tbh I don't think it would have mattered if they had met him sooner.

That was no help at all really was it?

MirandaWest Thu 14-Mar-13 21:48:49

I've done one report. Three to go.

OhWesternWind Thu 14-Mar-13 21:50:28

Well I'd known LM for around four months when he said he loves me, next day when we introduced the children, just all went to the park together so very informal.

No such thing as too soon - you feel what you feel. I think I might be a bit circumspect about saying it for a few weeks yet but that's just me. I had feelings for LM for a few weeks before he said anything and just kept quiet. So happy for you. It's a wonderful feeling.

Snape it is not just the sex weeks, you two have a connection. You are both clearly smitten, it's too late now grin. As for the kids, I think the 6 month rule is sensible but, it depends entirely on the kids, the man, your relationship.

Snapespeare Thu 14-Mar-13 21:57:40

Last significant relationship after kids dad.. Took me me 18 MONTHS to introduce him to the DCs. Nameless says it isn't a big thing for him, but acknowledges that it's because they're not his kids. I think I'll bring it up again in a couple of weeks.

VelvetSpoon Thu 14-Mar-13 22:00:58

I loved the lovely Ex after about a week month, but didn't say it for another couple of months, even though I felt at times I'd literally burst from the effort of not saying it, but I didn't want to say it first! In the end he said it by text, then I said it aloud.

Never did the DC introducing thing, I have spoken to DS1 about it in general and ever so hypothetical terms recently, and he said he wouldn't want to meet anyone unless they were going to be moving in here (I have told him there is zero chance of that...). DS2 would be amenable I'm sure, but would relay all info to the Evil Ex which I have no doubt would kick off WW3 hmm

As such it's probably lucky there is no prospect of me being in this position for the foreseeable!

Six weeks, six ffs

MirandaWest Thu 14-Mar-13 22:04:19

grin at the sex/six weeks grin

My in box has got lively this evening. This is what I'm up against. Why, why would anyone advertise with that pic? The words he has tried to use aren't any better hmm.

mercury7 Thu 14-Mar-13 23:11:24

he thinks thats his best most flattering pic grin
thats all you need to know!

Winefiend Thu 14-Mar-13 23:20:16

STOP THE PRESS

A seemingly normal, non potato has sent me a message, to which a photo of Josh Homme (from a gig was attached) shock

Winefiend Thu 14-Mar-13 23:21:27

Oh my word Juliette, that made me megalolz big time grin

ike1 Thu 14-Mar-13 23:57:14

Been to a public lecture on eating disorders by Chris Fairburn (one of the world's leading researcher's on psychological treatments) he rarely gives public lectures ...ooooh get me!

It was really good very informative and for such an incredible academic he gave an easily understood, accessible lecture. Then caught up on the goss with my mates from col. Lotsa fun. Will catch up on the thread now..

Seasidegirly Thu 14-Mar-13 23:57:53

I have a 1st date tomorrow night. Quite nervous. Last one was July 2012. I'm hoping he 1) turns up and 2) isn't attached and with a girlfriend and baby like the last one. Wish me luck.

Bant Fri 15-Mar-13 00:13:56

good luck seaside. So was this an online thing or a real life thing or..?

mercury7 Fri 15-Mar-13 00:44:51

sounds very interesting Ike, has he written any books?

another entry for the 'most unflattering profile pic' comp'
www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=52332242

Flipper924 Fri 15-Mar-13 08:00:05

I agree, Mercury, it looks like he gave the camera to his knob to take the picture! And it shows off his rather unattractive lampshade.

I have send polite 'no, thank you' messages to the man in the Timmy Mallett style comedy glasses (who has managed three 2-word messages), and the dull message from the man who's 20 years older than me.

The gorgeous men can message me now...

Snape, still envy. That goes for you, too, nameless.

lubeybooby Fri 15-Mar-13 08:01:56

Morning all

No headache, hurrah.

Apart from TT

I agree that pic is a baaaaad angle. Oh dear.

MirandaWest Fri 15-Mar-13 08:05:25

Hooray for lack of headache smile

I need to leave the house to go and stare at people taking an exam. Boo.

OhWesternWind Fri 15-Mar-13 08:52:13

No reply from him, Lubey? sad

lubeybooby Fri 15-Mar-13 08:59:02

Nope OWW. I don't know what my next move is really? An attempt to explain exactly how much it cost me in terms of time off work, actually paying for it, plus having to get the hotel etc? Because if you add all that up what I'm asking for from him is about a quarter, not the majority at all. And he did promise he would do whatever it took to make it easier hmm

VelvetSpoon Fri 15-Mar-13 09:00:46

Lubey glad you're feeling better in time for tomorrow!

I got about 5 hours sleep, still not great but I can cope on that so alls good smile

What do you think about this? (if anything) as you know my house is somewhat unfinished, and tends to attract comment. You might remember me saying that on our last date C made a little comment about whether I'd been hoping to date a builder which I was a little hmm about.

Anyway, I have now found out (when looking for local tradesmen) that 2 of C's immediate family are in the building trade...is it odd he didn't mention it? Was telling one of my friends who thought it was. I didn't, but I did think it might explain his comment.

VelvetSpoon Fri 15-Mar-13 09:03:36

Sorry xpost, lubey am angry at tt being so crappy about this. Agreeing to pay for something and then not is really shabby of him. Especially given the circs.

lubeybooby Fri 15-Mar-13 09:04:04

Velv I don't think it's odd that he didn't mention it. Perhaps he knows they are sub standard and didn't want to put a word in for them? Plus it's not really his place to bandy their services about. I disagree with your friend.

lubeybooby Fri 15-Mar-13 09:05:54

and yeah i am mad with TT too... like I need this at the moment (or ever)

siiigh.

I'll try and explain to him what it actually means and what it's cost me. Guess I have no move left after that if he's still quiet about it.

ike1 Fri 15-Mar-13 09:06:16

'Overcoming Binge Eating' by Chris Fairburn Merc. He created the first method of treatment for Bulimia Nervosa in the 70s when nobody reconised it as an illness. He also was at the forefront of having CBT recognised as the main psychotherapy cure for Eating Disorders.

He also disvoveres that the majority of people with eating disorders have a jumbled up combination of bulimia and anorexia for which he uses CBT-E (enhanced CBT) with very good success rates (although this is currently undergoing study). Fascinating stuff.

I am sorry about TT Lubes, it is very wrong of him.

48howdidthathappen Fri 15-Mar-13 09:38:21

Morning.

Having been lurking. Just knackered.

My mum isn't home until next week. Fingers crossed. The Neighbourhood Team, the carers that look after stroke patients on release, decided at the last minute, mum was too complex for them sad Social Services have now taken over, they will provide care for a few weeks, until we get our own package in place.

One of my sisters is being a complete bitch angry

Dumped Mr R&R again last Sunday. Must control my texting fingers, it really is not good behaviour. I have promised I will not do it again. I need him shock

Chin hairs are the work of the devil!

OhWesternWind Fri 15-Mar-13 09:48:16

Lubes, I think if you tell him straight then that is the only thing you can do. So peed off on your behalf that you are having to chase him up about this. Just crap.

Velvet - I wouldn't think it was weird. In fact, I probably wouldn't have mentioned it if it had been me in case it looked like I was touting for work for my family.

48 how disappointing about your mum. I really hope that it all works out for next week and she's finally back home. This type of situation can be really difficult with family members, lots of stress and people are not always at their best.

Next time you feel like dumping Mr R&R, don't. grin Come on here and vent instead and step away from the phone!

ike1 Fri 15-Mar-13 09:50:06

48 it is disappointing I know, but on the positive side, it is better that Mum has the right support in place so avoid extra strain on you guys and prevent Mum from feeling like she is 'failing'.

I dont mean to be intrusive, but why do you feel the need to reject Mr R&R at difficult times?

lubeybooby Fri 15-Mar-13 10:01:49

Yeah exactly OWW, it would put velvet in an awkward situation if he mentioned them, as she may feel she had to take on the work from them or be potentially embarrassed by saying 'not yet, not saved enough' or something like that. I think it's a good thing he didn't mention it, not odd.

Have just sent another text to TT explaining the whole amount it cost me etc etc and saying I could really do without having to beg for something promised. hmm

48howdidthathappen Fri 15-Mar-13 10:06:40

Ike I think at the moment it is just hard work being in a relationship, with someone I have only known a few months. Hard for him too. I just get it in my head at times that life would be simpler on my own. I would miss him lots though, he makes me laugh, very important at the moment.

ike1 Fri 15-Mar-13 10:09:25

Ah ..I see.. I can understand that 48. Well could you, during this period, just meet up once a week and then really look forward to it. But have supportive fun texts meantime. Would that work?

48howdidthathappen Fri 15-Mar-13 10:12:37

lubey TT really is behaving badly.

Velvet I agree mentioning he had builders in his family could of looked like he was touting for work. Awkward.

48howdidthathappen Fri 15-Mar-13 10:21:31

We usually meet twice a week ike saw him Wednesday, will see him tomorrow. He is a real tonic. Absolutely useless in many ways, managed to flood his kitchen wednesday night. He does send me really laugh out loud texts during the week. Life is better with him smile

48howdidthathappen Fri 15-Mar-13 10:24:07

The floor needed a wash grin

ike1 Fri 15-Mar-13 10:25:46

Ok then stop finishing with him then, you silly bugger! haha! As OWW says come on ere instead!!

lubeybooby Fri 15-Mar-13 10:31:37

Haha 48, at the floor needing a wash... and what ike said!

TFO is making me laugh at present. We are emailing about tomorrow. says he has his passport, bikini and sun lotion. He's so silly, I really need silly right now grin haha

48howdidthathappen Fri 15-Mar-13 10:41:08

Silly can be bloody fantastic Lubey grin

lubeybooby Fri 15-Mar-13 10:44:18

Yep! Silly is my life really. It helps an awful lot!

ike1 Fri 15-Mar-13 10:45:54

Think dancing cats Lube!

ike1 Fri 15-Mar-13 10:46:50

Mind you just listening to Shakin by Jack White that's put me in a struttin' mood...

lubeybooby Fri 15-Mar-13 10:51:40

ike grin see you only have to say that to get a grin

VelvetSpoon Fri 15-Mar-13 10:55:16

Glad you all don't think it was odd - I think the point about touting for work is a good one. Plus I guess if they did a crap job or if anything went wrong between me and C it would be awkward to say the least. I know my ex was v reluctant to do any work for people we knew (aside from v basic, quick stuff) because of the potential for it to end badly.

48, No more dumping mr r & r! Definitely come here and vent. Or just write it all down on paper rather than firing off a text smile

Have mountains of stuff to do at work today. 5pm seems a long way off. Plus I think cos I was thinking about the builder thing earlier am really missing C <sad and pathetic emoticon>. It would be nice to think he might miss me too, but cynical me says if he did, he would probably have made the effort to see me once in the last 3 weeks...[Hmm]

48howdidthathappen Fri 15-Mar-13 11:04:09

Talking of cats this always makes me grin

www.simonscat.com/Films/Cat-Man-Do/

Bant Fri 15-Mar-13 11:09:36

talking more of cats, this makes me smile too

www.27bslash6.com/missy.html

lubeybooby Fri 15-Mar-13 11:19:33

Oh I love him. That's the chap who tried to sell the electricity company a drawing of a spider instead of paying the bill. haha.

lubeybooby Fri 15-Mar-13 11:20:39

and all of Simon's cat too grin

Snapespeare Fri 15-Mar-13 11:33:05

48 sorry to hear your mums return has been delayed. Sending lots of well-wishes your way.

<general thread wave>

finally managed the STI clinic this morning - have been trying to get tests for the last three days - Wednesday - couldn't get through on the phone, so dropped by the sexual health clinic closest to my work (according to the internet) which now doesn't do sexual health services and closed 4 YEARS AGO hmm Yesterday, I drove to nearest-to-house sexual health clinic after DS1s CAHMS appointment. Clinic is a 'walk in' clinic, which advertises services between four and six PM. I got there at a quarter past FIVE and they had just given out the last appointment hmm Today, I went to clinic in major Central London hospital and it was lovely. They were ALL fab. Now have girl crush on the nurse who offered to do my vaginal swabbing if I didn't want to do it myself. grin wink Have mega pack of condoms as well. hurrah NHS! you got there in the end...

ike1 Fri 15-Mar-13 11:33:56

Oh hahaha Bant, my old cat Stanley used to wake me up by biting my nose...you could tell he was about to do it from the stench of fishy cat breath!

ike1 Fri 15-Mar-13 11:35:30

Oh gash Snape I should go really...havent had a smear for over 6 years ..that's BAAAD isnt it????

48howdidthathappen Fri 15-Mar-13 11:37:16

Same here ike maybe longer.

48howdidthathappen Fri 15-Mar-13 11:41:00

Have had breast screening. Wish I had bigger boobs for that blush

ike1 Fri 15-Mar-13 11:41:24

Not gash....oh dear....

Snapespeare Fri 15-Mar-13 11:49:24

everyone go and get your bits looked at! yes it's bad to have not had a smear for SIX years!! <snigger at 'gash' though>

mercury7 Fri 15-Mar-13 11:49:42

I went 13 years without a smear test, then went regularly for a while, but have now left it for about 4.
I should just 'man up' and make an appointment!
Perhaps we could make an online pact, those of us who have let it lapse?

Snapespeare Fri 15-Mar-13 12:01:54

I'll start a thread! smile MN as a force for good and all that - suggest thread title 'FANJO-check STAT!'

Snapespeare Fri 15-Mar-13 12:05:36

Actually, I won't because I always go and get regular smears, because I had an abnormal one a few years ago and it scared me - So I might end up being a bit preachy...I think one of the non-smearers should pledge to smear....

OhWesternWind Fri 15-Mar-13 12:10:47

I've actually got an appointment for mine on Monday - put it off but only for a couple of months.

AndLibbyMakesThree Fri 15-Mar-13 12:15:20

I've already decided to make an appointment next month. I haven't had one for about 9 years. I know that's really bad, but the last one was so traumatic that I just haven't been able to face the thought of going through it again.

lubeybooby Fri 15-Mar-13 12:25:52

I am due one... but I have a polyp on my cervix and I'm scared it will hurt and just generally scared... I need to just grit my teeth and get on with it though as it's overdue.

MirandaWest Fri 15-Mar-13 12:54:22

I had a smear some time not that long ago. Also went to GUM clinic after I discovered XHs meandering ways. That was not exactly dignified but was also OK. Am not looking forward to having coil taken out and new one put in - is due in October. That was very ouchy.

48 I do hope it is all settled with your Mum soon, it must be tough waiting around to get her settled. No comment at all regarding dumping Mr R&R. Not one not five grin.

Bant Missy the cat, still sniggering here.

Velvet not odd, also maybe that is also why he mentioned dating a builder if he has builder relatives as its something he has around him. It's also Friday so your mind will be wandering towards missing C which has the potential to induce a wobble. Nothing changed.

Snape yay for good sti clinics on the nhs, they do vary wildly and there is a very stylish walk in one in Soho aimed at gay men.

Do get screened everyone, and check your boobs and balls. No matter how horrid it is, it will never be as bad as waiting to find out biopsy results.

48howdidthathappen Fri 15-Mar-13 13:09:23

Juliette I think I am averaging dumping twice a month blush Last sunday I went one step further and turned my phone off, so he couldn't call me. He has asked for my landline now. He is a bloody saint smile

Got a GP appointment early April for my depression, which is much better thanks to ADs. Will book a smear.

48 he does sound lovely. Totally human and lovely smile.

pixiebelle123 Fri 15-Mar-13 13:56:57

Happy Friday everyone!

48 - I'm sorry to hear about your mum, fingers crossed the correct care package can be put in place soon.

All ladies - as a preachy ex nurse I demand that you all get smear tests! The 2 mins of discomfort is well worth it.

Do you know, since posting on here about how great things are going with POF man I'm now not so sure! He spends a lot of time at my house, which is lovely, and my kids adore him. But I've only met his DCs twice, he is reluctant for our DCs to meet yet which makes it almost impossible for me to spend time with his as we have them the same weekends. He is moody and has shouted at me a couple of times when he's cross. He works crazy hours and I just feel like I have to slot into his life and work around him all the time. The relationship generally feels a bit imbalanced but if I try to talk to him about it he gets cross and tells me I need to chill out. Grrrr.

Don't get me wrong, he is lovely a lot of the time! But it feels like there are a few red flags after only a few months.

48howdidthathappen Fri 15-Mar-13 14:11:56

Hmm Pixie He does seem a bit of a control freak. I wouldn't be happy with the shouting or dismissing my opinion. This should be the honeymoon period.

AndLibbyMakesThree Fri 15-Mar-13 14:26:02

Pixie, how long have you been together? If it's still early days then I'm inclined to agree with 48 - this should be the honeymoon period and you should be seeing his best side. Shouting at you sounds like a red flag to me, and the fact that he won't talk about the relationship is worrying - how are you supposed to make things better if he won't discuss it?

ike1 Fri 15-Mar-13 14:34:28

Chill out...no way...!!!

ike1 Fri 15-Mar-13 14:35:52

Have got around to messaging Mr Herbalist this morning ...he seems nice and is very new to dating..will probs see him next week.

Ike coolio (have no idea where that came from)

Pixie no he needs to show some respect for your feelings. I'm a shouter, I try and control it but I would never tell someone to chill out if it upset them I would apologise and try harder to keep it down.

'Chill out' is in fact the sort of thing that sends me into orbit, its up there with 'you've lost your sense of humour' hmm He spends a lot of time at yours which should be lovely, I hope he hasn't tried moody or shouted in front of DC, he is a guest in your home ffs.

OhWesternWind Fri 15-Mar-13 15:53:15

Oh dear, Pixie, I'm not sure I like the sound of all that. It is not on for him to shout at you, however angry he might be feeling, it really isn't. And him getting cross when you try to talk to him is not a good sign, either, nor is the dismissive "Chill out" stuff. I don't want to sound all doom and gloom because like you say there is a lot of good stuff there and no-one is perfect, but it seems like you have a few concerns about his behaviour. I don't know what to suggest really - normally I would say try talking to him, but you have and that hasn't worked, so it seems like a choice between whether you are prepared to put up with him as he is, or not. The fact that he doesn't take your concerns seriously enough to have a proper grown-up conversation about them is probably the biggest problem here and that doesn't necessarily bode well for the future.

Ike go get him before he gets contaminated by all the sweet-shoppy nonsense OD stuff.

Winefiend Fri 15-Mar-13 16:02:30

On the subject of fanjos, I have received a letter today chasing me up for mine. Probably been about 8 years. Thing is, I'm not even arsed about smears, I just can't seem to get round to sorting it out! Must pull finger out.

pixie hmm shouting so early on (or even at all) would be enough for me to give someone the elbow.

48howdidthathappen Fri 15-Mar-13 16:06:07

I am an ex shouter I hope. LTR involved lots. My 'orbit' was 'you didn't tell me that'. I so bloody did!
Mr R&R is silly sod for the most part, but when I spit my dummy out he texts 'Can we have a nice calm chat?' Difficult to refuse smile

48howdidthathappen Fri 15-Mar-13 16:11:44

Same here Wine not bothered at all about having a smear. Just gotta get my act together.

Winefiend Fri 15-Mar-13 16:18:21

I have no excuse either 48 as I finish early on a Friday. Though having a cold pointy thing waved in the general direction of my fanjo is not my ideal Friday post-work activity. But essential, unfortunately!

48 yes 'you didn't tell me that' is up there, like it's our duty to tell the obvious. It is incredible how someone actually listening properly really helps diffuse any situation properly too, I had one ex who took no notice of me shouting and he would say 'Juliette, why are you talking to me like that' blush. Stopped my in my tracks every time, and eventually I stopped shouting altogether -with him--.

MirandaWest Fri 15-Mar-13 16:48:12

Been having the sort of day where I'm chasing round all the time. And legs very worn out after last nights run. Feel lethargic and clumsy. Was cycling back home before and realised there were lots of cars at school and realised it was an assembly parents can go to. Luckily it started late so I was there.

Then DD had gym club so been backwards and forwards to school. Now properly home and going to have a bath. In the daylight grin

lubeybooby Fri 15-Mar-13 18:03:49

No reply from TT to the further explanation and plea. Oh friggin' joy. hmm why be so good for a while and then turn major asshole on me? He was really good with the looking after thing and all that. Oh well... time to write that off I suppose. The money I mean, he was written off a while ago...

OhWesternWind Fri 15-Mar-13 18:04:56

Neighbour has cancelled on me for drinks tonight. Don't mind actually as I am totally knackered. Early night planned.

KinNora Fri 15-Mar-13 18:06:08

Pixie not sure you should be tolerating someone shouting at you and making you unhappy, no matter how difficult his shift pattern is.

48, sorry to hear about the further delays with your mum and stop bloody finishing with Mr R&R, he's a sweetie.

Ike, hope Mr Herbalist is a winner.

So this afternoon I've booked my vair posh hotel in Mr Software's home city, he's offering to meet me at the railway station which is very sweet of him but for one thing I don't want him thinking he's deffo getting his leg over and for another, I was hoping for a bit of me time, loafing about in the roll top bath, lying around eating chocolates on the Egyptian cotton sheets and watching QVC on the flat screen.
I am also meeting Weird Coincidence Man for coffee tomorrow morning. We are so not going to like each other, I feel it in my water. In the meantime I'm all smiley every time Mr Showbiz texts, no doubt I'll meet him and he'll have all the allure of Richard Stillgoe.

KinNora Fri 15-Mar-13 18:07:07

Oh and yes, Lubey, how very disappointing that TT has turned into a knobber.

lubeybooby Fri 15-Mar-13 18:17:39

Oooh Kin! That's exactly what I did a lot of in my vair posh hotel. Loafing. And eating chocolate in those beds, with those sheets... omg. so nice. Enjoy grin

mercury7 Fri 15-Mar-13 18:19:05

It's very disappointing Lubey, I suppose it just goes to show that talk is cheap and money is...money hmm

KinNora Fri 15-Mar-13 18:21:07

Oh how lovely, Lubey, I love a bit of decadence, me.

MirandaWest Fri 15-Mar-13 18:42:43

I am also knackered. Think I will blame Mr Nice who has been having the temerity to message me when he gets in from a nice day out at about 5 his time and midnight mine. I have to go to sleep before this happens grin

WarmFuzzyFun Fri 15-Mar-13 19:44:28

Hi thread 46

<WarmFuzzyFun waves and blows unMNty kisses>

I'm okay, am part time lurking due to laziness and inability to keep up with events properly to post.

Less sure of man with bad teeth as during the course of texting he seems to do this thing where he makes a 'joke' which I don't find funny, then he carries on with 'joke' and then when I tell him I am unhappy, bewildered etc he says 'I was just joking'. But I feel he has a cruel side to him, why continue a joke when it is clear that the person with whom you are 'joking' is no longer enjoying it?

KinNora enjoy that hotel girl and the events (ie men) you have lined up. Of course I am envy smile and thanks

WarmFuzzyFun Fri 15-Mar-13 19:55:54

Oh and have never miss a smear. Take care of yourself, you wouldn't be neglectful of your children's (or anyone else you cared about for that matter) appointment would you?

WarmFuzzyFun Fri 15-Mar-13 19:56:11

missed a smear

WFF are you going to meet him? I think he either gets the boot or you meet up asap to see the teeth what he is like in person.

Kin how lovely! you'll have a great time.

KinNora Fri 15-Mar-13 20:18:02

Thank you WFF and Juliette, I'll be making every effort to enjoy myself

WarmFuzzyFun Fri 15-Mar-13 20:21:52

Juliette, should be this weekend, but although he has been texting/mailing me all afternoon he hasn't mentioned meeting up which was/is scheduled for Sunday. So I am a bit 'meh' about the whole thing.

I just have a feeling that he is not a compassionate person, which is essential non negotiable personality trait for me.

Oh and well done for losing some much weight, it isn't easy to do especially (if I may be so bold) at 'our' age, so bloody well done <round of applause>

WarmFuzzyFun Fri 15-Mar-13 20:27:13

<sighs> so much weight

48howdidthathappen Fri 15-Mar-13 20:31:29

Kin Three lined up. Hope at least one turns out nice shaggable
Enjoy your hotel stay smile

WFF I get bored and slightly irritated with them if it is all chat and no action, it takes up so much time and then you just don't know if they are even going to turn up.

As for the weight, you are so right. 10 years ago it just wasn't a problem, I ate less cake, ate the right stuff and the weight just dropped off. I started putting it on about 2 years ago and this time it has been really hard, hence getting a trainer so I can focus on the gym which I know motivates me to eat better. I can't wait to wear my dresses again. I have another 4 kg to go until most stuff fits me.

OhWesternWind Fri 15-Mar-13 20:43:00

Nora hope it goes well tomorrow! The hotel sounds like bliss. When areyou going? I am madly jealous. You have to meet Mr Showbuz soon too if you have any energy left!

Lubey. Really gutted for you. Sorry. What a cock.

WFF text humour can be difficult even if you know each other. Maybe best to meet on Sunday and see from there?

Juliette all kudos to you with the weight loss! Bet it is such a boost to you physically and mentally. Great stuff.

WarmFuzzyFun Fri 15-Mar-13 20:47:37

There are too many men who love the attention of texting/mailing and are then can't be bothered to arrange a meet up. I will delete and block if we get to the end of the week, or relegate him to a friend (without benefit wink).

Keep going with the weight loss, the health benefits are dramatic at our age, not to mention the thrill of being able to wear clothes you couldn't fit into previously.

WarmFuzzyFun Fri 15-Mar-13 20:48:39

<waves to OWW>

MirandaWest Fri 15-Mar-13 21:05:29

I am in bed smile is good. Have managed to evict all children from aforesaid bed as well (I read to them in here and then kick them out grin). Now I need to be sensible and actually go to sleep although will mumsnet a little first smile

OhWesternWind Fri 15-Mar-13 21:13:09

Just need to tuck dd in then it's bed for me too!! My favourite place. I live my bed, I do. Quite fond of LM's too grin

OhWesternWind Fri 15-Mar-13 21:13:30

Love. Duh.

BeforeAndAfter Fri 15-Mar-13 21:17:51

Popping in to nag about smear tests.

Feb 2012 I had a negative smear test. It was done on BUPA as part of some gynae investigations. Sept 2012 GP summoned me for my 3-year check. The nurse said it would do no harm to have another smear 6 months after the BUPA one so I did. Positive. The cell changes are early stage and were zapped off easily during a colposcopy but thank god I went. I'm now on 6-month colposcopy visits. I could so easily have left it. Go and get your smear test!

KinNora Fri 15-Mar-13 21:33:26

More congratulations on your weight loss, Juliette - you know how you ( it might just be me with this ) imagine other posters on here ? Well I always imagine you as terribly elegant and sophisticated, striding around the world, taking lovers whenever and wherever you see fit don't let on if you actually work in Greggs in Scunthorpe, it'll ruin the illusion for me

I'm going to the Hotel du Vin at the beginning of April, OWW, and 48, I think the bookies' surprise favourite for possible sexy time is beardy Mr Showbiz, coming along on the inside, leading by a couple of anecdotes and an apparent ability to do impressions.

OhWesternWind Fri 15-Mar-13 21:46:49

I imagine Juliette like that too, very glamorous but in an understated way, men yearning after her but being cast aside as inferior specimens ...

Did Mr Showbiz do a floating chipolata impression at one point, or am I getting confused now Nora? And will he not lose ground due to lack of Nora-inspired portraiture? It's neck and neck as they come up to the line ...

Kin if only! I have been most those things at some time except Greggs but the comment I get most from OD is that I'm 'down to earth'. Best not to ask grin

Nora you are allowed more than one you know...

KinNora Fri 15-Mar-13 22:44:27

Nah, OWW the floating chipolata was Talent Show's, Mr Showbiz, on the other hand, saw a millinery shop today and took a photo because he thought I might like it.

( I'm still fretting about this bloody painting ).

You're one of the women on here whose posts I read, Juliette, and think 'bloody hell, I wish I was a bit more like that ', I think this whole thread is full of the most intelligent, resilient, humorous people.
I did wonder, actually, about having more than one man on the go at once - I've never done that, it may well be about time ...

ike1 Fri 15-Mar-13 22:52:36

My friend has just set up an IE account on POF I am amazed at the quality conversations she is having..much better than the normal...what a revelation!!!

KinNora Fri 15-Mar-13 22:54:48

Are you going to set one up, Ike ?

ike1 Fri 15-Mar-13 22:55:47

Very tempted just for a laugh and a chat...

ike1 Fri 15-Mar-13 22:58:20

She did not even have a photo and only three lines..

KinNora Fri 15-Mar-13 23:03:20

Maybe we all should, just as an experiment. or you could just do it, Ike, and report back

ike1 Fri 15-Mar-13 23:05:09

Well ...ahem...I have...nothing too exciting to report yet though..about 20 messages from mingers in literally 5mins..

KinNora Fri 15-Mar-13 23:20:23

What, like an avalanche of spud-u-don't likes ?

( an email from Mr Software has just arrived, he's had a couple of beers and gone a bit soppy - bloody hell, that's the last thing I need )

ike1 Fri 15-Mar-13 23:20:54

Oh I appear ro have shaken out some of the same guys what a surprise....hahaha...

mercury7 Fri 15-Mar-13 23:21:35

I put an ie profile up yesterday, put a couple of pics up and only wrote one line..it's been quite entertaining but I'm not sure if I can be bothered to actually meet anyone.
Alot of men act so desperate if there's a suggestion of NSA, it just makes me want to mess them around for my own amusement, are they really dumb enough to think anyone would fall for all the bullshit they come out with

ike1 Fri 15-Mar-13 23:26:15

Oh I know....I have started to have a bit of fun banter with one young guy. However ...one guy I think if I was interested ...could have serious potential...sensualist, artist...goregeous bod....hmmm

ike1 Fri 15-Mar-13 23:29:18

But...loads of Scorpios...hahahahahaha

ike1 Fri 15-Mar-13 23:42:48

plenty of married guys too....

Winefiend Sat 16-Mar-13 00:06:32

Aagh of I see the word 'genuine' (or variations of spelling of the word), 'lol' or 'fishin' one more time I will not be held responsible for my actions.

My 'normal' one turnes out to be incredibly dull. It does say in his profile that he's 'sometimes quiet', but come on.

Millions and squillions of spuds! I think I may have to return to chucking my heels on and snaring inappropriately aged young men to scratch that itch. hmm

Winefiend Sat 16-Mar-13 00:07:23

Not that my spelling on this phone is anything to write home about grin

ike1 Sat 16-Mar-13 00:27:12

Get yerself on IE Wine its hilarious!

ike1 Sat 16-Mar-13 00:27:44

Most of em under 30

Seasidegirly Sat 16-Mar-13 00:29:08

Well back from my first date. He turned up and we had a good night. Think it might not go any further. I liked him but I don't think it was mutual. Pof does have nice blokes on there after all. grin

ike1 Sat 16-Mar-13 00:40:28

why dont you reckon its mutual?

Winefiend Sat 16-Mar-13 00:43:40

I might save that one for tomoro when I've had a few Ike grin

What's the spud : fit young Ben Drews ratio?

VelvetSpoon Sat 16-Mar-13 00:49:12

Did anyone else read Kin's description of 'intelligent, resilient humourous women' think well that's definitely not me...I know I did grin

Seaside its good that you had a nice date. Don't write him off too soon. Some men play their cards v close to their chests and its hard to tell if they're interested because they don't give anything away. So wait and see. But at the very least you've had a good date with a normal bloke, which is a lot better than a bad date with a potato!

I have been out, been chatted to (though no drinks bought this week, the men of kent are tighter than their essex equivalents!) Had a message via fb that I am gorgeous blush and a few texts from the one young enough to be my son who is pissed and silly (and quite funny in a very boyish way) so alls well though we won't speak of missing C because despite all the above I still do

Winefiend Sat 16-Mar-13 00:49:41

However, I did get a message earlier from FOOTMASSAGEMAN - 'hey sexy toes'.

The search is over.

hmm

Winefiend Sat 16-Mar-13 00:52:11

Velvet you are in demand!

I am in demand (rl/od) - but only by nutters, blokes who have previous for stabbing and married old men. It is no wonder I drink so much grin

lubeybooby Sat 16-Mar-13 00:59:41

Well I was in demand but they seem to have all gone belly up, as predicted..

Mr iPhone has vanished again, no sign of any damned pressie either, wtf was all that about?

Dishy doc sent me a text announcing the birth of his first child with his wife. (an accident of course, bet he's shitting himself now! shock ) although we only went for dinner and nowt happened not even a kiss... still not on is it? he's been asking me out for years... ffs! I wondered why he 'doesn't do facebook' hmm

BC has gone very quiet, although must say I haven't tried to contact him

TT is a scumbag tosspost asshole

Mr Glasgow... well it was nice but I'm done with him now... not interested enough to carry anything on and was only ever meant as a one nighter anyway

TFO.. well that's all still fine and on as far as I know... I like him, good job really seeing as he's about the only option left grin

ike1 Sat 16-Mar-13 01:05:10

That was so much fun...honestly! And fairly decent convos too! I recommend it!

ike1 Sat 16-Mar-13 01:07:07

Oh Lubes....so sorry... I am of a mind that so often you just cant take much of this stuff seriously unfortunately. Hugs..my darling girl.

lubeybooby Sat 16-Mar-13 01:08:08

Are you all trying IE now? grin

it is good in a way. I couldn't do it without being very heavy on the block button though but definitely some of my best dates/meets/conversations have come from the gooduns on there.

lubeybooby Sat 16-Mar-13 01:10:25

ike it's fine! I have absolutely no feelings about any of it, apart from being excited about my date tomorrow, and annoyed about TT <shrug>

I expect I'll hit IE myself again at some point after this tomorrow date seeing as he lives so very far away.

ike1 Sat 16-Mar-13 01:14:11

I am a convert Lubes! Its like being a supermodel...all these guys fawning over you...for 3 lines and no pic!!

mercury7 Sat 16-Mar-13 01:15:43

oh my!
sure is a lotta shit-fer-brains on POF

ike1 Sat 16-Mar-13 01:15:46

I may show my pic to 1 or 2 after much chat ...gonna squeeze the chat out of em till they beg for mercy!

ike1 Sat 16-Mar-13 01:16:29

Yep Merc but I have been mildly entertained tonight!

mercury7 Sat 16-Mar-13 01:19:07

it is quite fun to dip in and out of when you're in the mood, I have LOL'ed lots! grin

ike1 Sat 16-Mar-13 01:20:24

I think that is the point isnt it Merc...these guys really believe you are gonna give it up at some point so they will humour you!!

mercury7 Sat 16-Mar-13 01:33:19

aye, it does appear that they'll say anything if they think might get them a shag!

Seasidegirly Sat 16-Mar-13 02:06:23

Thanks Velvet. Will just wait and see .

KinNora Sat 16-Mar-13 07:50:35

So I go to bed and you're fishing for poor, lust-maddened fools, Ike - you rascal. I'm not sure I'm brave enough to set up an IE profile but as I'm not on PoF anyway, it'd be like leaping straight over the frying pan and into the fire. Might do it for entertainment purposes.

Velvet didn't think the 'intelligent, humorous, resilient' comment applied to you ? I'm looking sternly at you over the top of my reading glasses. wink

I supposed I'd better start titivating myself for meeting Weird Coincidence Man - mehy mehy meh meh. We're meeting at a 'happening' local coffee bar so at least I'll be getting a good coffee in non-Starbucks surroundings. Groovy, man.

Mr Software's email detailed how he couldn't wait to have me in his arms etc etc . I can't cope with all that stuff, I just want some fun, not lovey-dovey bollocks - <rolls eyes>

Good luck to everyone out on dates today

ike1 Sat 16-Mar-13 08:11:57

If you just want some fun just get yourself an IE profile Kin....rolling in totty over there..hehehehe GPs, Lawyers, Artists, Musicians...all mostly LITERATE!!!And begging for it! Even want to stimulate my mind...that won be hard!

KinNora Sat 16-Mar-13 08:25:05

Ok Ike yer on, I'll set one up later, I could do with a bit of lighthearted amusement.

48howdidthathappen Sat 16-Mar-13 08:25:17

Ike You are almost making me miss POF shock grin

Enjoy your coffee Kin smile Mr Software is living up to his name. Oh dear!

ike1 Sat 16-Mar-13 08:27:56

Oh seriously Kin its an absolute revelation! But like Lubes says be tough with the delete button...there is no way you will keep up...oh and of course...take most of it with a pinch of salt...nuff said.

ike1 Sat 16-Mar-13 08:31:26

....however I am concerned that I may get a bit of a low opinion of blokes after this...the hoops they will jump through...if they think a shag is on offer...

ike1 Sat 16-Mar-13 08:31:44

Ok SOME blokes...

WarmFuzzyFun Sat 16-Mar-13 08:31:50

Morning all,

See...IE can be fun wink and there are some interesting BS free characters.

Perhaps, though,Scrazy is right that I am looking for 'casual dating' really, but I'll stay put for the time being in IE as I am (fingers crossed) close to sorting out the fwb(s!) that I want at this point. A 'good' fwb is like a relationship but without introducing to kids/family etc very similar to dating when young free and single.

What I find with OD is that things can go from good to bad in the twinkling of an eye. I don't take it personally, but every now and again someone does get under the (thick) skin though....

ike1 Sat 16-Mar-13 08:54:04

Yes WFF I realise that is mostly what I want for now..I found it difficult when TR wanted babies, marrage etc....

ike1 Sat 16-Mar-13 08:55:56

Having a chat with a GP about Angel Delight enemas...

lubeybooby Sat 16-Mar-13 09:09:59

I DON'T BELIEVE IT!!

TFO has cancelled, says he doesn't feel up to the drive.

<sulking>

ike1 Sat 16-Mar-13 09:14:07

Oh ffs Lubes...sigh

WarmFuzzyFun Sat 16-Mar-13 09:16:03

<sighs> sad Lubes sorry <hugs>

Flakey bastard

48howdidthathappen Sat 16-Mar-13 09:17:46

Oh sorry lubey I always find its feast or famine with men.

48howdidthathappen Sat 16-Mar-13 09:19:10

What flavour? Ike Its all in the detail grin

ike1 Sat 16-Mar-13 09:20:34

I know forgot to ask...was eating a chocolate croissant at the time....

lubeybooby Sat 16-Mar-13 09:22:32

I was sooooo looking forward to that! Then get up this morning to the apologetic email from him. Hmpf!

48 yes gone from feast to famine here in the space of a week, it is actually funny though so don't worry grin

I'll just get some wine in or something... make myself quesadillas... it's cool!

ike1 Sat 16-Mar-13 09:25:51

Oooh they look nice Lubes...what do you put in yours?

KinNora Sat 16-Mar-13 09:35:21

Oh what a bugger, Lubey, how very disappointing.

Ike - some doctors are bastards but they do provide marvellously entertaining anecdotes.

48 - I know, what's the matter with him, the big wuss. God help us all if he uses the fatal ' I want to make love' phrase because that'll be it, I can't do anyone who says that.

ike1 Sat 16-Mar-13 09:39:04

Well indeed Kin ...this one lives in the arse end of Cornwall....innocent little face he has too. Hardly gonna be driving through night to shag him or participate in 70's stlyle bum frolics. But ...he can entertain me tonight when I sip wine and eat a Lubey inspired dinner...

ike1 Sat 16-Mar-13 09:40:28

Ok tell him you want to 'make the beast with two backs' with him Kin...Othello inspired and sounds drrrrrrrty...

lubeybooby Sat 16-Mar-13 09:45:03

ike I do chicken, sour cream, chilli and cheese in my mine.... heavy on the cheese... nom. And marinade the chicken in lime and chilli first too.

Kin yeah really disappointing! arse, arse and arse, and hmpf.

Considering re-activing PoF profile and seeking a replacement. BUT I was so set in looking forward to that specific date, with that specific man I don't think anyone could impress me enough unless they booked the same hotel and made me laugh even more than TFO. Which is unlikely at such short notice...

ike1 Sat 16-Mar-13 09:46:32

Although I did have a dream last night that I had a job in a sex Call Centre. Maybe IE is playing on my subconscious mind...

ike1 Sat 16-Mar-13 09:47:37

Lubes sounds lush...will have to look into a similar veggie one though

WarmFuzzyFun Sat 16-Mar-13 09:47:45

grin at Ike

ike1 Sat 16-Mar-13 09:51:05

Yeah this Call Centre WFF was located just at the back of my house ..my MOTHER was in the dream telling me that I had to remain anonymous in case the neighbours got to know about it....how FREUDIAN is THAT!!!!

ike1 Sat 16-Mar-13 09:55:08

not that I ever listenened to my Mother...certainly not gonna start now...

VelvetSpoon Sat 16-Mar-13 10:05:54

Ahh Lubey how completely rubbish sad Bad bad TFO!!

I do love quesadillas, though have never tried making my own. May have to give it a whirl.

Kin can you tell Mr S to just cut the flowery language?! I like Ike's beast with 2 backs suggestion. I reckon Mr S can't believe his luck and is trying to 'court' you so as not to ruin his chances! some women like me quite like a bit of lovey-dovey stuff blush

Can I have a slap please...someone I dated once (who then revealed himself - literally - to be a bit of a cock shot sending perv) now has a girlfriend. I feel slightly envious, which is stupid because I would never want to be his gf in a million years. I doubt it will last once she finds out what he's really like. I think it's just the relationship but that I envy, not who it's with, if that makes sense.

God, I'm an idiot!

ike1 Sat 16-Mar-13 10:10:22

SLAP!!!!Velv. He's probs on line now chatting up women on POF with tales of liquid food enemas....

VelvetSpoon Sat 16-Mar-13 10:13:58

grin probably. Although showing them pictures of his cock is more his style. He does come from Cornwall too coincidentally.

and is only the same height as me

lubeybooby Sat 16-Mar-13 10:18:49

Yeah it is rubbish. I just missed a call from an unknown number and they didn't leave a voicemail... wondering if it was him changing his mind having had enough coffee! We have never text only emailed, though he emails via his phone. But then why withold the number and no voicemail?

Probably something completely unrelated though anyway. Another PPI or computer scam call probably!

I don't mind a bit of floweryness. I may only be after one thing, but I also like not to be cold or ultra porn star about it and literally just bang body parts. I mean I'd run for the hills if anyone was going OTT with it but I don't mind a little tenderness mised in with the filth

Awww velv! You're not an idiot, you just have a certain longing for what you are looking for, and you've been kept waiting so long by C, you have the patience of a saint but it's bound to drive you mad inside, it would do anyone.

KinNora Sat 16-Mar-13 10:24:48

Velvet it's normal to feel like that, innit ? You're deserving of, and looking for, something much better - don't concern yourself with the activities of piddling morons.
I like a soupçon of flowery romantic language too but I'm terrified of a relationship that goes any deeper than fun and nookie. In order to engage me in a serious relationship , a cunning and patient man will have to woo me like David Attenborough cosying up to a gorilla family, inching forward, looking at the ground and making gentle ' oo oo ' noises. ( not the last bit ).

Lubes I so want your quesadillas.

Ike yeah, I could say that to him but (a) not sure he'd understand, he'd never heard the William Morris quote about having beautiful or useful things in your home so I'm not holding out great hope for him knowing any Shakey and ( b ) I suspect he is not at all dirty. Sad.

lubeybooby Sat 16-Mar-13 10:31:39

Kin - serious actual LOL at your analogy there. Don't worry, I've managed to be both tender and completely not involved at the same time. With everyone I've been not involved with on any level deeper than fun and nookie. Don't let it scare you too much, doesn't necessarily mean anything at all.

and you're welcome to join me for quesadillas anytime!

I can her my DD on the phone to her BF, giggling her head off. They are so cute together grin god it's all so easy when you're 16 isn't it (if you find a properly nice lad that is) he treats her like a precious gem. Good job really or I'd be locking her up encouraging her to find someone else.

lubeybooby Sat 16-Mar-13 10:32:11

her = hear*

VelvetSpoon Sat 16-Mar-13 10:39:55

Lubey infuriating! There's nothing worse than calls from withheld numbers where they don't leave a voicemail, drives me mad wondering who it might be. Only to be disappointed when they call again later and it's 'would you like to change your energy supplier madam' or some such nonsense! hmm

I think being envious of the relationship stuff (this is now the 3rd bloke I've dated who has recently got a 'girlfriend') is nothing to do with the blokes themselves, who are all dogs* and I expect are still on POF/sexting etc, but more from wanting that with C, who I do really like as if that were not obvious . I don't mind waiting, just hope there is something worth waiting for!

* piddling morons is an equally appropriate description Kin! When is your coffee with Weird Coincidence man?

Mr S might surprise you and have hidden depths of dirt grin. I do remember my lovely Ex once coming out with something quite filthy which surprised (and amused) me because up til then he'd been a picture of lovey-doveyness!

WarmFuzzyFun Sat 16-Mar-13 10:41:32

KinNora I've got to pinch this 'I like a soupçon of flowery romantic language too but I'm terrified of a relationship that goes any deeper than fun and nookie. In order to engage me in a serious relationship , a cunning and patient man will have to woo me like David Attenborough cosying up to a gorilla family, inching forward, looking at the ground and making gentle ' oo oo ' noises. ( not the last bit ). '

Which is exactly how I feel, and will be featured in a text or email to explain myself and my approach.

Gawd bless ya young miss! <WFF tugs forelock>

KinNora Sat 16-Mar-13 10:43:24

Just waiting for my taxi to the previously mentioned 'happening' coffee bar, I think that due to my actual level of fuckedupness, I'm not sure I'm capable of managing relationships in quite the rational way you do - I'm comfortable with jokey and silly and inconsequential, anything else scares the bejeezus out of me. One of the things I take from this thread though is the prospect that one day things will be different.

< gets train to your house for quesadillas and booze >

WarmFuzzyFun Sat 16-Mar-13 10:48:22

Did someone say we are going to Lubey's for a quesadillas and booze party? I'm coming.

lubeybooby Sat 16-Mar-13 10:51:18

Excellent! <buys more booze and tortillas and stuff>

Ok I'm ready grin

KinNora Sat 16-Mar-13 10:53:46

Coffee ( capital 'c' only due to the beginning of the sentence, frankly 2/3 of my 'lovers' went to the same school as he attended, I ain't going for another one ) is now < sounds Disappointing Date klaxon - URUGGGGGAAAAA URRRRRUUUUUGGGGGA >

KinNora Sat 16-Mar-13 10:55:28

< Lubey thinks I'm joking ...buys train ticket>

lubeybooby Sat 16-Mar-13 10:56:59

I'm not joking! Get yourselves over here it will be much more fun than anything else.

VelvetSpoon Sat 16-Mar-13 10:57:30

Count me in for the quesadilla and booze party too, I can bring my own alcohol!

lubeybooby Sat 16-Mar-13 11:00:01

<inflates airbeds>

<panics and runs round hoovering>

Winefiend Sat 16-Mar-13 11:24:58

lubey oh no! They're like bloody buses. I don't know what bus services are like round your end, but in South Yorks they are shiiiiiit. Your night in sounds smashig though, I think I may do similar this eve grin

Nora Good luck this aft! At least you know you have another option, which involves a fabulous hotel and lota of loafing.

Ike I may do some IE this eve perhaps though I have woken up this morn to 2 messages from 2 verr arractive characters I vaguely remember looking at last week, asking to take me out. Ha! Buses! Bus services in Glasgow are fairly shite from what I recall too so we shall see.

Velvet I would be the exact same if the last guy I was 'dating' got himself a girlfriend, despite me not wanting owt serious with him (and him saying similar, yet freaking out re: me going to the pub with one ex and still living with the other). It would bruise my fragile little ego grin

I have just woken up. At 11 fucking am. Jesus! Must have needed it, I blame the ongoing lurgy I've had.

Winefiend Sat 16-Mar-13 11:26:02

Wow, clearly not woken up yet. Fingers incapable of pressing correct buttons.

Snapespeare Sat 16-Mar-13 11:35:15

quesadillas?! grin am very hungry all of a sudden.

on my way home from namelesses. we talked about my haphazard approach to internet security, but he hasnt peeked i wouldnt have been able to resist understanding that online support in dating matters is a personal issue, much like discussing someone you're seeing with real life friends, but with a permanent record. told him that basically youre all delighted things are going well & all think he is lovely...

oh, just to envy it up some, also had the best sex of my life last night. movie sex that was even 'movier' that last time...he is utterly amazing..literally had to drag myself away or i would stay curled up next to him forever. grin

</vom>

will update with reference to you lovely lot once i get home & off phone.

grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin

lubeybooby Sat 16-Mar-13 11:57:17

Snape grin more wonderful loveliness grin grin grin

48howdidthathappen Sat 16-Mar-13 12:04:05

Mr R&R asked me what I like to call the deed once. I replied fucking works for me blush Haven't got a romantic bone in my body grin

Good morning all, Ike shock grin.

Velvet I refer you to 'some people are just not that choosy'. I've been through this too, but it is exactly that*

Snapethere was never any question of him peeking was there. And grin grin grin at uber movie sex. Really happy for you.

*I met the DP of a new friend recently, she's a lovely, bright aware woman. We had talked about my OD experience and how there were a lot of entitled men on there. She mentioned other friends she had who'd been successful. Then her DP came in, good looking, articulate. I mentioned I'd taken a wrong turn on the way to them and my friend started to say which turning I needed. He actually spoke over her that she'd got it all wrong, then mansplained me directions half a mile back to my house. That

VelvetSpoon Sat 16-Mar-13 12:41:03

grin Juliette thats so true! And how rude of him!

CSP (Cock Shot Pervert) is no loss. According to FB, he has recently taken said gf on a (seriously cheapo) mini break despite driving a flash car and earning nearly double what I do. Sod that, I'd expect to be taken somewhere like this

Velvet I just got lost in there for a while. I was tempted with Spring Cottage but it's too much like a house so I thought I'd go for the Lady Astor Suite because it has the terrace with a view. I will command a mahoosive outdoor heater and spend all my time out there and ask them to light the indoor fire in case I feel like walking through the interior.

lubeybooby Sat 16-Mar-13 13:09:28

oh good lord my poor eyes. Just got a cock pic, have added it to the options group, obvs.

KinNora Sat 16-Mar-13 13:14:34

Waiting for the bus home. Verdict - don't bother buying a hat.

lubeybooby Sat 16-Mar-13 13:15:25

Oh Kin, I was just on my way to the milliners as well. <does u turn>

Kin that's just one down, two to go...

KinNora Sat 16-Mar-13 13:23:17

'Fraid so Lubes. Big tip for future Nora dating applicants - don't tell me about your problems with anxiety 15 minutes into a date - I look as though I care because I have that kind of face, really I don't, you're there solely to amuse me.

lubeybooby Sat 16-Mar-13 13:24:30

Just received from stevomcnevo1

Hi
Do you like bondage?

Is it me or is his pic as well as message... creepy

Snapespeare Sat 16-Mar-13 13:26:37

velvet 'intelligent, humorous, resilient' gayest you thatis. In spades with jackie Collins rolled in. I hope you're ok today. I'm getting increasing annoyed with Cuthbert. I think you deserve the moon and stars. I hate seeing you wait around for this guy. I know you really like him, but I think you deserve much better and I know he broke your 2nd date curse, but he makes me go grrrrr!

juliette well done for weight loss! I can feel weigh creeping back on again...I'll need to do a cople of weeks of very low carbs to get me back on the straight and narrow. Love that description of you as v glam and striding around taking lovers as suits you. I do like that idea of how we 'see' each other

lubes sorry about flake. Ugh. I guess there will always be a fair amount of all-mouth-no-trousers men who bail. I can categorically state that it is always them andnever us you. Love the description of your DD on the phone to her young man. :D my DD has a lovely BF, who thinks the world of her, she would never stand any shit from him or anyone else. I think we're all bringing up amazingly strong young women.

WFF :D at David Attenborough.

Wave at the rest of you lovely lot.

I'm going to stop posting about nameless. It's just disgustingly soppy at the moment (I love the flowery stuff me... And the filth as well. I'm bilingual) and I'm aware that while you all share in my absolute delight at having snagged a good 'un... It can get a bit saccharine. I'll post if anything horrendous or absolutely amazing happens, but unless it does, can we all just assume that I am walking around with a smile that would blow out the Blackpool illuminations, consider myself astonished to be in the same room as him, especially if items of clothing are being removed and am generally just really very happy. I'm even tolerant of his use of marmite on toast. I think it's love.

I'll still post, obviously, if I may. I'd miss you all, like I miss a lot of folk who now lurk because they're happily coupled.

Movingforward123 Sat 16-Mar-13 13:28:35

snape glad it's all going so well grinI wish I could meet someone like that! Did you find him online?

Ok so with regards to the brothers friend I still havnt called him and he hasn't called or text me either hmm

All week I've thought not going to bother calling him as he clearly isnt that bothered about me. And today I'm fed up and thinking about calling him! As he would probably come and take me out if I did.

Also I havnt has any action for about a month and it's affecting my mood hmm

And just to add to problems dds dad has been around a lot an I really really want to sleep with him!

I still can't walk and I'm still at my mums and I'm fed up!

Any suggestions? Should I call brothers friend? Should I sleep with dds dad? As the sex is amazing which I havnt had for over two years!

Lubey that's his blue steel. The placing of the pitbull dog is rather odd too.

VelvetSpoon Sat 16-Mar-13 13:29:34

Lubey no hes weird.

And his living room needs a bloody good tidy up and declutter

grin

lubeybooby Sat 16-Mar-13 13:33:11

Snape you absolutely must still post. We desperately need happy people who this malarkey worked for shock it's just brilliant. And post whatever you like, I love it, but then I'm not the <vom> type really, being an old romantic deep down grin

VelvetSpoon Sat 16-Mar-13 13:34:48

Snape I am really happy for you smile Almost as happy as I would be for myself if anything as great ever happened to me.

I'm willing to wait around for C for a bit. I honestly don't think he's a player, or seeing other people, or just stringing me along (I might be wrong, I only think I know everything!), and that it won't always be like this. But we'll see. There's no rush. And I do get (and C should realise this!) a lot of attention from other men at the moment. Mostly potatoes admittedly grin

VelvetSpoon Sat 16-Mar-13 13:35:25

Oh, and keep posting.

I might be a bit envy but I can keep that in check!

Moving No, no and no (for any buts). Why call up a man who hasn't been in touch and DDs Dad is your ex for a reason. You are stuck indoors which won't be helping your mood either, you probably wouldn't consider either of them otherwise.

Snape as long as you promise to stay around, I would miss you if you didn't.

Snape and your happiness is all good, it's lovely and very similar to what I would like and I don't want anything less and why I'm still single so I like hearing about it. Spurge away if you feel the need.

I am now meeting gsm1 this week for coffee, probably Tuesday. GSm2 is likely to be next weekend. POF ones seem to have vanished.

Snapespeare Sat 16-Mar-13 13:45:50

moving nabbed him off of OKC. I'd banged some appreciative stars on his profile (god knows what I was thinking, he was 12 years younger than me, incredibly and some and frankly a bit out of m league. He sent me a short note saying thanks and generally being very amusing (I'd forgotten I'd starred him) we had a coffee a couple of weeks after that.. I really liked him, but also need that he didn't like me, because generally people I don't like don't like me, or see me as 'hot friend' or have a lot of issues... I've also reasoned that there is no chance of any future in it, as I'm a 45 year old single parent to three surly teenagers and he's 33 and has CFS. But I'm not concerned about longevity as right now I'm brilliantly happy, I can't look at him without wanting to touch him. He's amazing.

I will shut up now. I said I'd stop bleating on about him.

No. Don't shag your ex. No no no no no no. They're an ex for a reason. Don't contact Neighbour chap either. Get yourself on IE.

ike1 Sat 16-Mar-13 13:45:53

Now Kin ...get that IE account going tonight!

Snapespeare Sat 16-Mar-13 13:51:08

Sorry moving not neighbour- chap (why do I think that?) I mean brothers friend. Sorry you're still not able to get home... Did someone mention maybe trying to get home w/o DD for a Couple of days for a rest from your mum?

KinNora Sat 16-Mar-13 13:58:50

Snape you have to keep posting, it gives me hope that somewhere there's a Nameless with my name written all over him.
I was toying with saying you are the thread's Jim Bowen - 'here's what you could have won' as you gesture toward a speedboat but that's not a particularly accurate analogy as I feel very happy for you rather than cursing the missed opportunity to park a big, shiny craft in my front garden.

ohmyrainydays Sat 16-Mar-13 14:06:00

I've had to name change because of a nosey ex. Last week i learnt to stay away from men who aren't deep and how to decorate my especially feminine garden.

Why is it some men think that even though you ignore them sending more messages is the thing to do?

Does anyone have problems with text sex with men they haven't met yet? The bloke I'm meeting next week for coffee wanted to do it last night but i just couldn't. He was very lovely about it but it just felt all wrong. Am i a weirdo?

I'm also talking to someone who asks loads and loads of questions and i feel a bit like him being interviewed. It's putting me off a bit.

Movingforward123 Sat 16-Mar-13 14:23:45

Snape - it all sounds great and I hope you keep posting too grin and the age difference doesn't mean it can't last!

Well with going home alone I wouldn't leave my dd here without me as she won't sleep alone and I wouldn't want her to sleep with my mum and her partner in their bed. So if I go so does dd wink

My mum has been great but I feel like I hate relying on anyone. Actually being dependant on anyone including my own mum is a nightmare for me. No wonder I'm still single and not in a settled and living relationship!

Winefiend Sat 16-Mar-13 14:23:49

Snape you should defintely keep posting - even the lovely stuff! It's good to know that there are wonderful non spuds out there like nameless grin

Speaking of spuds - 'you should be on gorjus dot com'

Oh man.

KinNora Sat 16-Mar-13 14:26:04

So, proper date report now.

( background is Weird Coincidence Man is originally from my home city, went to the same school as exh and we knew the same people in the 80s ).

I'd never been to the coffee bar I suggested as a venue, turned up and it was tiny, hideously busy and the seating was my bête noire, the bar stool. I'm too short for bar stools. Anyway he turned up late as he thought we'd said 11.30.
He looked very familiar, worryingly I think I may have snogged him in my teenage years.

He persisted in wittering on about his anxiety and the stress levels of his job - hmmm mmmm, understanding head on side, ' that's no way to live' when what I always think about in these circumstances is throwing in some examples from my job - take that, ya big Jessie ! .

There couldn't have been less of a spark if he'd been Jim Davidson.

One positive thing I've learned through OD though, is that I'm not actually as shy and socially shite as I think I am, I appear to be able to talk to strangers in a reasonably engaging way - huzzah !

lubeybooby Sat 16-Mar-13 14:51:55

I've been spoilt by the PoF IE Glasgow experience.

Reactivated earlier for a more local nosey and oh dear god it's just awful. AWFUL. I have one possible, ticks all the boxes and though he wants to meet he's just lacking a bit of oomph, enthusiasm, or something. So therefore it's really not inspiring and I CBA.

lubeybooby Sat 16-Mar-13 14:56:52

Kin the date sounds... erm... well awful. Why do so many people have no concept of making an effort, trying to impress, etc... especially on first dates.

KinNora Sat 16-Mar-13 15:18:46

I think he was trying to impress, Lubey, just not in the kind of way that works for me. He also didn't react particularly well to my suggestion that when he had to wear a white trilby while managing in a factory, he wore his hat at a rakish angle.

The difference in PoF geographical quality must be most disheartening, I wonder why it's so different.

lubeybooby Sat 16-Mar-13 15:30:10

That was him trying to impress? Oh dear. Don't think it would have worked for me either really. However your hat suggestion works on me. Hook line and sinker, I'm all yours. He's a fule!

And yeah, just... urgh... I really am going to have to move.

It's REALLY making me miss BC as well... ouch... ouch..

KinNora Sat 16-Mar-13 15:35:24

That's a bugger, isn't it, the missing people thing, god knows what works to assuage it, I wish I knew. Are you going to see BC while he's in the country or do you reckon it's better not to ?

lubeybooby Sat 16-Mar-13 15:40:56

I dunno. I want to! I'll have to text him at some point and try and sort something else out before he buggers off again. It's the fave sex ever thing, and just how well we get on and laugh and all that. The latter especially seems really, really difficult to find.

He couldn't be more perfect for what I'm looking for at the moment and local PoF may as well be a cesspit with floaters rather than a sea with fish. Go away rubbish men.

MirandaWest Sat 16-Mar-13 15:45:41

Snape you have to keep posting or I will feel I should retire into the distance smile

KinNora Sat 16-Mar-13 15:47:50

Well, why not just get in touch with him then ? Even if it's just for a one off, life's too short not to grasp an opportunity for pleasure.

I miss the laughter aspect of my relationship with Spud almost more than anything else, we used to cry laughing on a regular basis. Shame he's a wankbiscuit.

lubeybooby Sat 16-Mar-13 15:55:51

Yeah, I will do at some point. Just need to think what to actually say confused not like me to be stumped but he didn't reply to my last text and that always leaves me a bit confused

I'm not waiting for him to text me or anything and my last text to him didn't need any reply, I just need to think of the actual wording and preferably some excuse to meet. Or be in a blatant enough mood to just invite him down.

KinNora Sat 16-Mar-13 16:07:07

Tricky. In that kind of situation I'd probably think about what I'd advise someone else to say, and then say that.

ike1 Sat 16-Mar-13 16:13:28

Oh no Dr Angel Delight is funny but obvs barkin ...makes you wonder about these GP's ......

ike1 Sat 16-Mar-13 16:17:23

He's not coming near my rear with his 'clear out' enemas and strawberry Angel Delight.

ike1 Sat 16-Mar-13 16:19:44

....as if I needed any more wack jobs what am I doing?????

KinNora Sat 16-Mar-13 16:29:16

What does he say the benefits of an Angel Delight enema are, Ike ?

KinNora Sat 16-Mar-13 16:30:30

( I can easily obtain a rectal catheter for you, together with attached 'puffer' should you so wish ...)

ike1 Sat 16-Mar-13 16:33:06

I haven't got to the 'bottom' of it yet Kin...but...it does involve mutual consumption of the by product (gaaaaag) Ill pass on the catheter Kin, thanks, he's probably got his own arse kit at home...

ike1 Sat 16-Mar-13 16:35:54

I feel like I will never be innocent again (weeps)...

KinNora Sat 16-Mar-13 16:36:26

Mutual consumption of the by product ? Hahahahahahaha.

I've told you all before about doctors, don't say I didn't warn you ...

KinNora Sat 16-Mar-13 16:38:00

<thinks about shitty Angel Delight, feels slightly queasy >

ike1 Sat 16-Mar-13 16:38:34

What's the matter with them? Eh? Are they all obsessed with bodily functions and tinkering about where no tinkering needs to be done???

ike1 Sat 16-Mar-13 16:41:12

I know Kin...it orrible without the extra 'matter'. I did give him a boring fact about my ex Chemistry teacher's brother having 'invented' Angel Delight...or was it Super Whip?....anyway that was the only thing I could bring to the convo...that, and noting that THANK GOD it wasnt chocolate flavour.

KinNora Sat 16-Mar-13 16:41:33

The thing is with them that they have a very matter of fact attitude to body parts and functions, there's no mystery. ( I never found any of the ones I went out with to be particularly sensual though - most disappointing )

KinNora Sat 16-Mar-13 16:44:30

I did once hear a story about a local GP having to attend A&E with a unretrievable rectal foreign body, he should have known better really - you never stick anything up an arse that isn't designed to go up there.
< professional face >

ike1 Sat 16-Mar-13 16:45:55

Yes... I did ask him whether the the clinical aspect kind of kill the passion element...but no it HEIGHTENED it apparently????

ike1 Sat 16-Mar-13 16:47:00

unretrievable??? oh Gawd! No No...!!!

ike1 Sat 16-Mar-13 16:47:54

killed (sp) Right off for another fanny wax (trill...!!!)

KinNora Sat 16-Mar-13 16:51:33

Oh aye, some people I've known (not me, honest guv ) like a bit of medical stuff in the boudoir I might have had requests to wear my uniform

Ah, never told you any of my work stories, we need to go out on the ale some time ...

OhWesternWind Sat 16-Mar-13 16:52:54

Aargh classic Day Three angst kicking in. Who's got that wet fish? Didn't work out to meet up with children today, LM in full shop mode which is fair enough, proper official opening on Monday. He said maybe tomorrow but I will need a babysitter so a maybe's no good and it will have to be a no from me. I miss him, he misses me or so he says so why is it all so difficult? I know the answer to that btw, just frustrated.

Feel the pain of everyone else's crap dates/non-dates.

ike1 Sat 16-Mar-13 16:54:32

Must do Kin!! That would be so much fun....oh and this GP looks like he is about 12 honestly now...total baby face.

Winefiend Sat 16-Mar-13 16:58:35

Angel Delight and arseholes? Agh bloody hell, I've heard it all now.

WarmFuzzyFun Sat 16-Mar-13 17:04:17

Ike, you are killing me - so funny, I won't be putting Angel Delight in my shopping trolley any time soon.

KinNora, it's good that you have another couple of dates to focus on otherwise it would be depressing.

Snape post, post and post some more. It's good that you have 'graduated' come back and share your wisdom {big kiss emoticon}

Jules, put that new body to use, have fun, come back and make us envy

Velvet, he is a good 'un, I can feel it in my water, or is that cystitis grin

Right, question: when to I say game over to the other chaps I've lined up just in case? I think I have a very good (very excited) fwb, I also have a couple of chaps in my 'holding pen', but you never know.

I've been through this before, the minute I release them back into general circulation things that looked firm go to shit about five seconds later.

lubeybooby Sat 16-Mar-13 17:18:16

WFF I don't ditch any of my back ups until I'm actually properly seeing someone... even then I stay friends just in case. My sex drive demands it for fear of ever being made to wait.

Hmm that's a point I have one of those I could see soon...

WarmFuzzyFun Sat 16-Mar-13 17:22:02

But they'd all be expecting me to have sex with them, I want just one.

So just tell them, after a couple of weeks I guess. I hate letting good suitable men go...just goes against everything I believe ingrin

lubeybooby Sat 16-Mar-13 17:59:46

Hello hw's r u?hw's urz day going?

<headdesk>

I'm considering regularly conjuring up work trips to various parts of the country, and becoming the glam busty version of a sailor as snape suggested grin

I might test out London next...

OhWesternWind Sat 16-Mar-13 18:00:00

WFF can't you give them all a road test then decide?

OhWesternWind Sat 16-Mar-13 18:03:00

Lubey wuu2?

Don't bother testing out this part of the country, very slim pickings. Mcr might be okay though, in fact any of the big cities. Think I might be tempted to select by which accent I liked best ...

lubeybooby Sat 16-Mar-13 18:12:02

"hi how you doin im a culb kid tht a lady 2 dance with a good time undrer the sheets"

A what now?

<runs screaming from pof>

ok. My lucky streak is officially over.

I have to move, or keep testing out new areas. I am DONE with the inbred weirdos locals.

lubeybooby Sat 16-Mar-13 18:13:11

I HAD to open another one didn't I?

"Hey gawges how are you xx"

<gouges out own eyes with cocktail sticks>

Winefiend Sat 16-Mar-13 18:13:26

Oh lubey I can fully sympathise! I've hidden mine this aft as I was losing the will to live. Plus there's 2 I have on the go - one of whom I reckon is a complete shagger (which is not a massive problem), the other not so much. I will suss em out over the course of the next couple of days (just to make sure they aren't stabby, like the last one). Assuming they don't vanish of course grin

Winefiend Sat 16-Mar-13 18:14:39

Hahaha grin I prefer the spelling - 'gorjus'. Love it!

WarmFuzzyFun Sat 16-Mar-13 18:15:28

Hmm, it's an idea OWW, a good idea. 'Am I programmed to over-reach?' (quote from film DD is watching called 'Limitless')

(Oh, while on the subject of quotes, the quote re: David Attenborough, was pinched from KnNora)

I have just heard from Teeth, I will be meeting him tomorrow...

lubeybooby Sat 16-Mar-13 18:21:29

Oh good luck WFF

Winefiend 'gawges' is a new one for me. Oh dear oh dear oh dear.

Ok. that's my profile hidden again.

Now, stop my text to BC saying MARRY ME!!! TAKE ME AWAY FROM HERE!

only half joking

Winefiend Sat 16-Mar-13 18:24:22

Step away from the phone lubey! It is so tempting to do similar though when you realise how many spuds are out there. I had a moment a couple of weeks ago when I was tempted to text ex twat (as I wanted a shag, basically), so instead I text 5 of mates advising them of this temptation and received instant 'noooooooo!' style replies. Put me right off grin

lubeybooby Sat 16-Mar-13 18:41:29

grin

I wouldn't, and that isn't even what I want anyway really, but god that was enough to drive anyone to madness.

I will, however, text him and ask when we can meet next!

I have thought of the excuse actually, I do still need to stop around his area even though it was cancelled on my way back from Scotland... so I'll see if I can get that re-arranged and if he will be around then.

Or even ask when he IS around and arrange work thing for that day. That would make more sense.

KinNora Sat 16-Mar-13 18:42:30

Lubey would you suggest I send that text to Spud ? No, I didn't think so.

WFF - have a subs' bench, like in football. Test out their ability in training sessions and make sure you have someone to bring on for the big games.

Wine, I always thought it was 'gawjuss' that's how dd and her chums compliment each other. Hrrrrrummmmphhhh.

lubeybooby Sat 16-Mar-13 18:57:43

Kin, no... but.... BC isn't a wankbiscuit... further BUT I'm still not sending it though don't worry! grin I am aware that is a generally unsuitable thing to say to anyone, especially men with a tendency to leave the country and when you don't even actually want to marry them anyway.

I have located my 'temporarily misplaced due to horror of pof' grip.

Phew.

Right, now for quesadillas and booze. When are you all arriving?

Winefiend Sat 16-Mar-13 18:59:54

Oh Nora, get with the programme, it's all about gorjusssss now! My favourite is stil a toss up between 'wana fuk' and 'hey sexy toes'. Megalolz grin

Winefiend Sat 16-Mar-13 19:00:52

I'll be there in an hour lubey, just working my way through a bag of Revels.

lubeybooby Sat 16-Mar-13 19:05:20

My favourite from today was 'I got a fuckin big cock 9 inch fat as a coke can lol will that cheer u up'

grin @ megalolz

Excellent. I have mucho booze. I also have cadbury heroes and gateaux and cream as well as the quesadillas. Just in case.

Winefiend Sat 16-Mar-13 19:08:40

Hahahaha grin fuck me, can of coke or not (remember those wee ones you used to get in Woolworths for about 12p?), it makes no odds if you have a face like a bag of spanners and the online persona of Vicky Pollard's younger brother.

Ooh gateaux. Proper posh

OhWesternWind Sat 16-Mar-13 19:10:16

Just had fajitas inspired by Lubey!

Feeling very fed up if spending so many evenings sitting in by myself. I wish there was someone to take the children a couple of nights then I could actually get out and do something and start to get a life. I miss my old friends. I miss LM. I'm feeling lonely and bored and sorry for myself.

At what age do you think you can leave very sensible children in for a couple of hours in the evening? I fancy joining the pop choir and poss the meditation group ... Going to be at least a couple of years though sad

OhWesternWind Sat 16-Mar-13 19:12:34

Fat as a coke can???!!! Bloody hell, the sheer romance and poetry of it.

Winefiend Sat 16-Mar-13 19:16:43

Aww Oww, are there no decent babysitters nearby? Where abouts are you? It is shit being stuck in when you'd prefer otherwise sad

lubeybooby Sat 16-Mar-13 19:17:20

OWW I first left my DD for an evening from about 13, and first overnighter when she was 15. Both firsts were when she had a trustworthy friend over, then after that by herself, just her and the cats.

I am quite relaxed with things like that and would have done it sooner actually because she's so sensible but she was quite easily spooked and I didn't want to put her off it.

Oh and because I got reported to SS for leaving her for TEN minutes when she was ten. Yes, ridiculous, I know. And I got a very patronising leaflet sent to me with scenarios on it like leaving a three year old to clubbing, leaving a baby all day while you work, etc. Stupid.

Winefiend Sat 16-Mar-13 19:22:11

Snape fucking hell shock ten minutes?

I have downloaded something called 'kik' to converse with the verr attractive pof gentleman. Totally down with the kids, me grin don't have a fucking clue how to use it

KinNora Sat 16-Mar-13 19:23:46

You're absolutely right, BC is not a wankbiscuit whereas Spud is a vast record breaking specimen. Any tequila, Lubes ?

OWW , how old are your dc ? You could find a trustworthy local teenager who fancies earning a few bob to sit with them for a while, it's important that you get time to yourself occasionally.

Wine - that'll be me, behind the times, I had never even experienced 'megalolz' - I feel like retraining as a High Court judge.

lubeybooby Sat 16-Mar-13 19:24:27

That's me Winefiend not Snape grin

Yes, ten minutes. Neighbour saw her waving my goodbye from the window and reported.

I stomped down to SS mightily offended but the SW I spoke to was adamant that ten was 'far too young'

mad.

lubeybooby Sat 16-Mar-13 19:26:37

Kin, hmm no tequila, but i do have beer, wine, vodka, gin, rum and various mixers...

and nope, not a wankbiscuit. I promise i have stepped away from the phone anyway though grin

48howdidthathappen Sat 16-Mar-13 19:30:45

I am loving being on my own tonight. No daughter. No daughters BF. No man.

Space smile smile smile

I may have had a couple wine

Snapespeare Sat 16-Mar-13 19:31:21

I was confused... By as I've spent all day smiling at strangers, then who gives an actual shit.

Tra la laaaaa

Winefiend Sat 16-Mar-13 19:32:39

Oh oops lubey, worra knob grin

I am trying to keep up with this new fangled technology y'know

lubeybooby Sat 16-Mar-13 19:32:51

snape grin

KinNora Sat 16-Mar-13 19:37:54

More grin grins for Snape.

Anything you want me to bring, Lubes ?

Not heard from Mr Showbiz today but he's just emailed, I am thoroughly charmed by him. Oh deary dear.

lubeybooby Sat 16-Mar-13 19:39:15

bring a comedy onesie and a crash helmet and we'll make a harlem shake video while we're at it grin

KinNora Sat 16-Mar-13 19:41:38

I would but dd has commandeered my onesie and is currently lounging a matter of feet away from me, brazenly comfy.

OhWesternWind Sat 16-Mar-13 19:43:22

Problem is the old money thing - I have some teenagers from my street who babysit when I go out, but I just can't afford a regular extra night of two for a hobby every week plus going out with LM once or twice. Three nights' babysitting is going to be around £30-40, can't justify it.

They are sensible, maybe in a couple of years then! Can hang in there I hope. I've got you lot on here, texting, FB messenger and a phone too so it's not all doom and gloom.

Lubey, can't believe that about SS. Madness. Glad you put them straight!

Bant Sat 16-Mar-13 19:44:50

Well, having seen the sweet shop in Budapest, and with Buffy being remarkably slow to respond to emails (I sent the last two last night, no response back yet, it's kind of her 'turn' rather than three in a row. I hate the games) I thought I'd just take a quick peek on Facebook dating - zoosk, to see who in budapest was on there.

And lo, I have discovered the potatoes. Compared to OKC or Match, or POF even, it is disturbing.

OKC will do me for the moment if things don't work out with Buffy and my charm fails me at the Expat things.

(Oh the girl from Accounting at the company do got very drunk and spent an hour in the loo, I made sure she got a cab home. She became much less attractive with sick in her hair, so nothing happened)

ike1 Sat 16-Mar-13 19:56:16

Now Bant...can I ask.....would you like an Angel Delight enema?

Winefiend Sat 16-Mar-13 19:56:19

Zoosk I have not heard good things about grin

My (much younger) friend talked me into downloading something called 'Skout'. I lasted 3 hours before I deleted it. Made some of the tats on pof look positively sophisticated.

Winefiend Sat 16-Mar-13 19:56:38

Oh Ike grin

ike1 Sat 16-Mar-13 20:01:39

I can happily report the fanny wax was much less painful this time around..

Bant Sat 16-Mar-13 20:01:59

ike - no I would not. smile

lubeybooby Sat 16-Mar-13 20:02:12

I have always suspected the 'poo' in 2 girls 1 cup video to be butterscotch angel delight.

ike1 Sat 16-Mar-13 20:03:56

Well it appears you are probably correct in your suspicions lubes..

ike1 Sat 16-Mar-13 20:04:30

Oh thank goodness Bant...

Winefiend Sat 16-Mar-13 20:09:10

What style of fanny waxing have you gone for Ike? I usually do it meself but I may 'treat' myself amd get it done properly for the trip up north.

ike1 Sat 16-Mar-13 20:15:03

Brazillian at mo Wine..

Winefiend Sat 16-Mar-13 20:17:45

Proper hardcore fanny waxing then Ike. I may go Hollywood I think. I haven't ever had a professional one shock

ike1 Sat 16-Mar-13 20:20:29

oh do it...its fine!

Winefiend Sat 16-Mar-13 20:22:50

I think I may! Fingers crossed I have good cause to.

ike1 Sat 16-Mar-13 20:24:38

Yes indeedy..

VelvetSpoon Sat 16-Mar-13 20:38:35

I really want to go and be waxed. But I am far too cringed out by the idea of having to lie there with my nether regions out...even thinking about it is bad enough, so low is my blush threshold!

The lovely Ex used to go and get his BSC done regularly but I wasn't persuaded by him saying he never felt embarrassed, I just know I would.

OhWesternWind Sat 16-Mar-13 20:38:41

Some nice underwear on eBay at the moment!

ike1 Sat 16-Mar-13 20:40:23

Now OWW when you say nice underwear on e-bay I am assuming new...

MirandaWest Sat 16-Mar-13 20:51:53

I never have done bikini line waxing but do consider it. Might do it one day I suppose...

OhWesternWind Sat 16-Mar-13 20:52:04

Ewwww yes I'm not a knicker sniffer I'll have you know

ike1 Sat 16-Mar-13 20:53:23

hehehe glad to hear it owww!

Winefiend Sat 16-Mar-13 20:53:28

Hey you can get some decent money selling smelly shoes on Ebay you know (and underwear I imagine). not that I've looked into it, oh no

KinNora Sat 16-Mar-13 20:58:30

Velvet, it's not as embarrassing as you think it's going to be, honest.

OhWesternWind Sat 16-Mar-13 21:02:10

Do you think red silk is a no-no with reddish hair? Usually go for black or cream but I am tempted!

48howdidthathappen Sat 16-Mar-13 21:02:29

And a womans worn socks. Come on use your imagination grin

They were pointed out to me on another site.

OhWesternWind Sat 16-Mar-13 21:04:13

How much do you get for a worn sock? Enough to pay for an evening's babysitting???

lubeybooby Sat 16-Mar-13 21:04:36

and really manky slippers

Winefiend Sat 16-Mar-13 21:10:47

Ballet pumps is a good one. Cheapo from Primark, wear em driving with no socka and you're off! Apparently. I've never got round to doing anything with this info.

48howdidthathappen Sat 16-Mar-13 21:13:52

OWW You to have to model the sock. Among other items. Jodphurs being another.

Movingforward123 Sat 16-Mar-13 21:19:20

What's all this angel delight business? I need to be updated wink

Seems like we are all having a good munch tonight! Well I came home for the night with dd! I was feeling so pissed off at not being in my home.

I ate a family sized chocolate dessert with chocolate brownies and chic mouse and cream! Yum! Then ordered pizza and watched a Disney film and romantic film with dd (5) and she said what a lovely evening we are having! I think she is right grin

Normal I feel trapped when I'm home alone but right now I appreciate it!

Western - I know how you feel at lack of babysitters and would be nice to be able to go out more hmm

OhWesternWind Sat 16-Mar-13 21:19:32

Oh that's me out, then, horrible feet! It's a whole other world out there! I bet they send pervy messages on the 'Ask the seller' thing.

Flipper924 Sat 16-Mar-13 21:19:39

Evening, all.

Just read through the thread and I have to say that the Angel Delight Enema has me aghast! There is no limit to the depths of people's weirdness!

(though I might like to mention to Nora that we use Angel Delight with barium, in the same room they use for the enemas - I'm never going to be able to walk into that room without smirking again and thinking of Ike)

48howdidthathappen Sat 16-Mar-13 21:21:45

The Feedback was an eye opener shock

lubeybooby Sat 16-Mar-13 21:21:51

Flipper that is too funny! hahaa

Winefiend Sat 16-Mar-13 21:26:03

Yeah my feet are horrible (bad circulation) so I might ask a mate to do it. Apparently you have to have a bit of the shoe on in all pics though or you'll get banned. Bit od leg helps too.

You can tell I am skint and have researched this (and have a bag of crappy shoes in a cupboard) grin

KinNora Sat 16-Mar-13 21:33:02

Oh do you, Flipper ? I think I know your profession in that case, which means that a. I was wrong and b. you're the only member of that profession I've ever liked.

As a student I once turned up to work to be told it was my day to insert an enema tube ( in a patient, I worked with some pervs but there were limits ). I honestly thought they were joking, I'd chosen my course partly because I reasoned there'd be no dealing with arses. The extent of the training was a whispered 'use lots of KY' - it was the first time I'd seen piles, I thought he had some terrible disease.

ike1 Sat 16-Mar-13 21:39:27

Oh god..Flipper he has probably somehow connected it and turned it into a kink!

OhWesternWind Sat 16-Mar-13 21:42:35

Oh god does he actually DO it Ike? I thought it was just theoretical!

ike1 Sat 16-Mar-13 21:51:08

Well apparently so! Its his 'thing'...

Bant Sat 16-Mar-13 21:51:32

what a fuckmuppet

ike1 Sat 16-Mar-13 21:57:53

Hahahah..I quite like him actually ....never gonna meet him ...fun chat though

Winefiend Sat 16-Mar-13 21:58:19

Oh now that is just wrong. I consider myself pretty open minded but no. Just no. You could ask him if he'd like you to blow Primula down his bellend with a straw?

ike1 Sat 16-Mar-13 22:00:32

Ha ha Yeah that would be good or ...my fave....Tartex! I think its for mutual pleasure though...the by products that is....

lubeybooby Sat 16-Mar-13 22:00:37

yes what a fuckmuppet. I like MUCH ruder things than angel delight up my bum, the amateur.

winefiend... laughing so much at the primula

ike1 Sat 16-Mar-13 22:02:53

I know.....Wine that is KLASSIC...

ike1 Sat 16-Mar-13 22:03:56

I should let you loose on him Lubes...bloody hell he'd probably fart, blush and wet himself

Winefiend Sat 16-Mar-13 22:07:26

To be honest much prefer Philidelphia. Garlic and herb. Obviously. Has a wee bit of a nip to it.

Flipper924 Sat 16-Mar-13 22:08:30

Wine, that made me snort!

Ooh, Nora, what did you think I was? I know we have a dreadful reputation, and I have to admit I have met several colleagues over the years that have earnt it for us! For some reason it's a profession that attracts people who take themselves too seriously.

I'm single handedly trying to persuade other professions that we can be quite nice!

Winefiend Sat 16-Mar-13 22:08:31

And the Primula would have to be the one with 'ham' bits in it.

Winefiend Sat 16-Mar-13 22:10:04

Mutual pleasure?!

Oh I do love a lovely bowl (bowel?) of shitty Angel Delight hmm

ike1 Sat 16-Mar-13 22:14:10

Ha ha Wine yep....shared out equally mind and you have to eat it all up! He he

Winefiend Sat 16-Mar-13 22:16:37

Oh my word. Wow, there really is a weird amd wonderful world out there.

My mum puts Angel Delight in her trifles. Never again will I be able to consume it the same way.

ike1 Sat 16-Mar-13 22:18:12

Yep Wine ....and its all waiting for you on Intimate Encounters.....enjoy!

ike1 Sat 16-Mar-13 22:20:46

Thank crikey he is all the way down in Cornwall...phew!!!

KinNora Sat 16-Mar-13 22:25:24

I thought you were a nurse Flipper. I deal with an American member of your profession who is particularly irksome, although to be fair she didn't appear to warm to me very much when I laughed at her 'Thick 'n' Easy '. At least you're not a physio, no-one loves them grin

Primula's bad enough without wedging it under a foreskin - there's a sentence I never imagined I'd write.

Winefiend Sat 16-Mar-13 22:26:43

Oh Ike, are you sure being sat on the train for a million hours just to have the possibility of having Angel Delight in your knickers for days after isn't worth it?

ike1 Sat 16-Mar-13 22:29:34

Yes Wine I am bloody sure! Can you imagine for what earthly reason any female would want to have pink sticky goo pumped up her arse and then licked out??? Oh now I have said it...it sounds quite appealing (jooooooking!!)

Winefiend Sat 16-Mar-13 22:31:04

Ooh now you've put it that way, hold me back!

Might put it on me pof profile.

ike1 Sat 16-Mar-13 22:33:42

Bloody hell he'd be on you like an Angel Delight seeking missile, Wine!

Flipper924 Sat 16-Mar-13 23:00:29

I still find 'thick and easy' hilarious, Nora, and have never understood why they don't do promo t-shirts! In fact, I insisted we made some with iron-on transfers for an inter-departmental bowling night once.

Discharge coordinators love physios. If you can walk, you can go home. Sod the fact that you can't dress yourself or call for help if you need it.

Sorry, that's not at all dating related. Normal looking chap from pof still wants to meet me, even after I explained about my friend's solicitors appointment, and my other news from yesterday, which is that one of my dearest friends has just been diagnosed with a (slowly) progressive illness. I can't decide if he's sweet for understanding, or a bit weird for not running a mile.

KinNora Sat 16-Mar-13 23:07:58

( God, I'm glad to hear you say that, Flipper, I thought it was just me being immature - the t-shirt would make me laugh for months )

No, he sounds sweet for understanding and really quite keen.

ike1 Sat 16-Mar-13 23:19:58

Oh I know what you are now Flip with your Thick n Easy...

ike1 Sat 16-Mar-13 23:21:34

Dont give it to the doc Flip...he'll find a way of pumping it up someone's arse..

ohmyrainydays Sat 16-Mar-13 23:53:01

That angel delight thing is disgusting. It's making me feel sick! Ike can you pm me his name so I don't inadvertently come across him!

Flipper924 Sun 17-Mar-13 00:20:17

I'm sure I still have my t-shirt somewhere...Do you think I should get a picture in it for pof? What do you suppose the result would be if I changed my name to Thick n Easy?

<glares at other people who hold budgets and decided that cheaper Nutilis was better in spite of low comedy value>

How do you know about us, Ike? What do you do? I'm quite excited that people know what my job entails! No one in real life has a clue!

ike1 Sun 17-Mar-13 00:24:40

Oh gosh I am assuming I know....I am training in an allied healthcare profession...the one I am thinking you are Flips would recommend Thick n Easy for Dysphasia.

KinNora Sun 17-Mar-13 08:22:44

Flipper that's because in real life people have been so comprehensively brainwashed by Holby and its cretinous ilk, and news bulletins which refer to 'doctors and nurses, doctors and nurses' every time there's an nhs story, very few people think of any of the other myriad professions involved in healthcare - we're all like bloody Cinderella.

Ike - I think I could make a fair stab at guessing your profession now too. Impressed that you've got 'dysphasia' into the dating thread.

Flipper924 Sun 17-Mar-13 09:21:56

I'm impressed, Ike! Though I think you've been autocorrected.

I am indeed a specialist in swallowing, and I work (well, used to) with a product called Thick n Easy. I don't know how that hasn't got into the dating thread earlier!

You're right, of course, Nora. It's a shame, because I think most AHPs have far more interesting jobs than a lot of Doctors and Nurses. You, for example, can have such an amazingly varied role, even if you do have to squirt stuff up bottoms and foofs.

<really hopes that Ike isn't training to be a physio>
<adds disclaimer to last night's comment: our discharge coordinators are mostly lovely people>

KinNora Sun 17-Mar-13 09:32:28

Nah, I reckon Ike is way too relaxed and reasonable to be a physio - sorry physios not really

I'm always impressed by the level of anatomical knowledge your colleagues have, Flipper , even if the ones we have get right on my breasts.

My career is definitely very varied - last week I was mainly fending off inappropriate approaches from elderly men.

Flipper924 Sun 17-Mar-13 09:38:54

Only in the one area, though, Nora! Show me a knee and I wouldn't know which way up it went even!

Aha, I have a pm from Ike (and have replied, Ike) so I know what she is - and yep, far too laid back for a physio.

KinNora Sun 17-Mar-13 09:47:01

Still impresses me Flipper, it must be very frustrating when people have no idea of the scope of knowledge you need.

lubeybooby Sun 17-Mar-13 10:43:22

Morning all! My hangover isn't too bad, yay grin

MirandaWest Sun 17-Mar-13 11:11:25

Hello smile

My bed has been invaded by (admittedly nice) children so have left it. Some housework is calling hmm

48howdidthathappen Sun 17-Mar-13 11:22:25

Morning. I feel my batteries have been recharged after a night completely alone. Noboby wanting a piece of me.

Going to spend the day with some mates and horses smile

Have a great Sunday!

OhWesternWind Sun 17-Mar-13 11:42:28

Morning! Have finished wallpapering dd's room - it was one of those friezes where you have twelve pieces to put together to make a scene to cover the wall, so a lot of faffing about making sure everything's aligned. Feeling a real sense of achievement!

Also feeling really wound up and anxious about LM. He's not read a text I sent him yesterday lunch time which is unusual and now I'm imagining all sorts of stupid things. Haven't got a definite date for seeing him as I was hoping to see him this weekend but he has been manic with shop stuff which is fair enough. Can someone please tell me to calm down and that none of this means anything?

Going to do last bit of painting in dd's room this afternoon and fix some new skirtings, then we're about done! Another room off my list. I'm getting there, slowly smile

OWW all will be well meanwhile...

and very well done on the wallpapering, you should be proud of yourself! Did she take that last piece of wallpaper off herself in the end? grin

ike1 Sun 17-Mar-13 11:53:24

You have just answered your own concern there OWW, lovely, he is probably too busy to go through texts....panic ye not!

OhWesternWind Sun 17-Mar-13 11:57:26

Ha yes she blooming well did Juliette. Took over a fortnight but I can out-stubborn her any day (even though she's a Taurus).

I have only got stairs and landing, front room and bathroom to decorate now! Oh and the Room of Doom but I need to decide what I'm going to do with it first - maybe utility room? Home gym hahahaha? Actually it's just occurred to me that maybe I could partition a bit off for a separate loo which is desperately needed. Hmm, interesting thought!

ike1 Sun 17-Mar-13 12:08:37

That's what I need .... a 'hardcore' fisherman.....

ike1 Sun 17-Mar-13 12:09:02

How about a sex dungeon OWW????

ike1 Sun 17-Mar-13 12:13:27

....I think I have had my head turned by IE POF....sorry everybody....

lubeybooby Sun 17-Mar-13 12:13:53

ike I'm starting to worry about you... wink

VelvetSpoon Sun 17-Mar-13 12:24:00

Western, well done on the decorating! I agree with Juliette definitely be proud of yourself smile I seriously need a kick up the arse to get on with mine (and the rest of this bloody house hmm). If I spent as much time doing stuff as I do procrastinating about it the whole house would have been finished ages ago...

And yes, don't worry re LM. It will all be fine!

shame I don't think I can say the same about C

Ike do we need to tell you to step away from IE? grin

ike1 Sun 17-Mar-13 12:25:04

Yes...I think so Velv...before I become a perv...

Ike your reformation is like that episode of SITC when Charlotte has to be rescued from her Rabbit grin

ike1 Sun 17-Mar-13 12:34:29

I know Jule....from iron clad knickers to food enemas and sex dungeons in the space of 2 days!!

OhWesternWind Sun 17-Mar-13 15:10:15

See, what did I tell you? Nice phone call off LM. Work almost finished in the shop, official opening tomorrow (though it's been sort of open last week for appointments). All good stuff. He's not been sleeping well with worrying about shop things, so I hope he'll be able to relax a bit soon.

lubeybooby Sun 17-Mar-13 15:17:11

Ah good stuff OWW.

TT has blocked me on fb. AIBU to blackmail the bastard?

Snapespeare Sun 17-Mar-13 15:35:19

Blocked you on fb!

What a fucking coward.

48howdidthathappen Sun 17-Mar-13 15:48:06

Blocked you. That is really nasty. Sorry.

48howdidthathappen Sun 17-Mar-13 15:51:33

Gonna walk my dog. Make enough flapjacks to live off for a week.

Then the hospital. Oh joy.

lubeybooby Sun 17-Mar-13 15:53:14

I know! I never even messaged or chatted to him on there or anything. Suppose that answers the question though doesn't it. For whatever reason he's not coughing up the promised amount and obviously thinks he's right not to.

This is the man who sobbed about his condition and being ashamed of himself for not getting a vasectomy. And who couldn't eat for a week for all the worry that I might want to go ahead.

Baffling and yes cowardly. wtf?

48howdidthathappen Sun 17-Mar-13 15:56:28

Honestly Lubey I could easily give up men if it wasn't for the sex. Bloody sex will be my downfall.

OhWesternWind Sun 17-Mar-13 15:58:04

Lubey what a cowardly, nasty thing to do. Loads of hugs to you. Must be like a luck in the gut when you're expecting him to do the decent thing. So sorry he's turned crap, well worse than crap.

Snapespeare Sun 17-Mar-13 15:59:39

I tend to think those who block on fb are a little bit self important and believe that their rejection will lend the wounded party to boil bunnies all over their wall. In reality, it's far nicer to have a good rant about them far, far away from fb, occasionally updating ones b with what a splendid time you're having of things.

The faceblock is the epitome of self aggrandising passive aggressive twattishness.

mercury7 Sun 17-Mar-13 16:11:25

I am noticing on POF a preponderance of names like 'brian-wants-to-give-you-one' and 'dave-shag-and-run'
whatever makes them think that will work??
would I call myself 'sarah-pet-assassin'

just read a blokes profile, 'So why not through caution to the wind and have some fun'

another says 'Rocking & Rolling and weaving threw the punches...'

shit for brains

lubey I think it's more cowardice as in not being able to face you than some attempted slight. Whatever, not acceptable. You need the money, he owes you the money, gloves are off. Do whatever you need to do.

WarmFuzzyFun Sun 17-Mar-13 16:16:14

Small claims court Lubey?

KinNora Sun 17-Mar-13 16:16:52

I'm sorry, Lubes what a pathetic person he turned out to be. How enormously disappointing.

lubeybooby Sun 17-Mar-13 16:18:09

well Juliette I happen to have saved a few of his friends and families pages, because i thought he would do this... just a nagging feeling. I'm considering sending them screenshots of the skype conversation where he made the promises that he would do whatever it took to make it easier on me, and agreed a specific amount for going private.

I don't know if I should really just forget it and take the hit myself though. he did pay some of it after all.

ike1 Sun 17-Mar-13 16:18:43

I find TT's behaviour so offensive...sorry Lubes yep...do what needs to be done. x

lubeybooby Sun 17-Mar-13 16:19:26

WFF it's not worth the small claims court fees. Plus I can't remember his address! I know his workplace though.

KinNora Sun 17-Mar-13 16:19:37

Oh, and a baking afternoon here too, I think know it's because I need some sexy time.

OhWesternWind Sun 17-Mar-13 16:20:50

What kind of percentage has he paid so far *Lubey?

Whether you do anything else just has to be your decision, what you would feel best with.

ike1 Sun 17-Mar-13 16:25:14

Kin get on effing IE for the final time!

Winefiend Sun 17-Mar-13 16:26:30

lubey I'd be tempted to text him and tell him he has x amount of days to cough up before you fire it off to family/work. Spineless fucker.

mercury7 Sun 17-Mar-13 16:26:32

Unless there is some kind of written agreement I cant see that Lubey would have a leg to stand on legally (?)

Of course he has behaved like an utter cad but it just sounds as if he was so desperate to avoid her going ahead with the pregnancy that he said whatever he thought would make her have it terminated asap.

Perhaps the facebook blocking was because he thought she might post something on there that would let his friends know what a bastard he's been?

I'd probably be tempted to let his friends & family know

WarmFuzzyFun Sun 17-Mar-13 16:27:08

Perhaps have a good rant and be absolutely fucking furious for a day or two then move on. He knows, he is a bastard. What a low down good for nothing!angry

lubeybooby Sun 17-Mar-13 16:27:53

he's paid 55% of what he said he would OWW

lubeybooby Sun 17-Mar-13 16:29:19

Winefiend that did cross my mind too but I don't want to cross the line into blackmail although apparently it would be within the law as it's warranted and reasonable and not unwarranted

MirandaWest Sun 17-Mar-13 16:30:42

That is rubbish lubey sad

lulubellaboozle Sun 17-Mar-13 16:36:22

Lubey that really stinks! how cowardly, I agree with WFF, he knows he's a bastard

lubeybooby Sun 17-Mar-13 16:39:54

and his 55% of the promised amount was about 20% of what the whole sorry situation ended up costing me hmm

lulubellaboozle Sun 17-Mar-13 16:44:09

just a thought but instead of getting angry with him, what about a text to say how disappointed you are that he hasn't responded, doesn't appear to going to honour his promise, that you thought he was a better man than that and it really is quite despicable to behave like that, you thought he would be someone who would keep a promise once it is made etc etc...... maybe, just maybe it might shame him into doing the right thing?

Lubey <puts work hat on> I would keep your evidence powder dry for now and think about how you may want to approach it. I can see how writing it off would appeal but I also think you may get really pissed off about it later down the line. If you decide to get him to pay up, perhaps send him a polite 'reminder' of your Skype conversation in case he has 'forgotten'. That would serve the dual purpose of an implicit threat clarifying any confusion and give him an out opportunity to do the right thing. Cunt.

By reminder I mean a screenshot/copy.

lubeybooby Sun 17-Mar-13 17:00:57

my last text was kinda like that lulu, plus explaining how much it cost me too with the lost work and physical toll it took.

and that got me an fb block, nice. I can still see him and all friends family and details from my work fb though... eejit.

lubeybooby Sun 17-Mar-13 17:06:01

Juliette letting him off would be a big thing for me to do because I'm in court on the 22nd for council tax (well I won't be because I can pay it before then in full, but only just!)

So yeah. The thought of making no further attempt to extract the remainder from his grubby tightarse hands is already majorly pissing me off.

But... I dunno. There's something that is really not 'me' about bothering any further with him. I'm so used to cutting assholes completely dead!

It's not about bothering with him, he is already toast. It's about the money.

lubeybooby Sun 17-Mar-13 17:13:30

I know, I just hate giving anyone the satisfaction of knowing they have driven me to bother myself about their stupid behaviour. I'd much rather always give off an air of 'and that day, not a single fuck was given'

This is different, the practical side is not personal it's just money. The rest, hell yes of course but you know you can always give the air of not giving a toss later grin It's whatever is best for you though

VelvetSpoon Sun 17-Mar-13 17:27:11

Lubey I'm sorry, what a complete and utter dick he's being angry

I agree the FB block thing was cowardly, I suspect because he's decided he can't/won't pay he thinks if he hides from you on FB you will back down and not chase him for it wankbadger.

My mum brought me up with the not engaging with assholes approach (when she split up with an Ex - before my dad - he ended up with her entire and extensive record collection because she refused to chase him to give it back...) I have written off money, possessions etc many times BUT I think there comes a point where you think No, I'm not standing for it. Especially as you do really need the money.

I know it feels uncomfortable but the thing is, he offered the sodding money in the first place apparently just to ease his conscience and without any intention of paying . He knows he needs to pay, hence hiding from you. Call his bluff, email him with a reminder of your conversation as Juliette says. Hopefully that will prick his conscience sufficiently to make him pay what he owes.

lulubellaboozle Sun 17-Mar-13 17:29:47

fair do's then Lubey you've tried the "I thought you were a decent man" approach and it didn't work. As Juliette says, it's about the money now, so a little reminder bloody big memory jog with a copy of the skype conversation would seem in order

grin at 'and that day, not a single fuck was given'

BeforeAndAfter Sun 17-Mar-13 17:35:03

Lubey - delurking again ... I'd send this along with the messages where he agreed to pay up.

Message 1:
I see you blocked me on FB, which is understandable as you probably don’t want a constant reminder of the sad times that we went through together. Unfortunately I also have a worrying niggle that it signifies that you don’t intend to pay what you agreed to pay but I very much hope I’m wrong as I had thought you to be far more honourable than that.

We met for fun, we had a lot of fun and what happened to us was horrendous but I cannot erase the memory of what happened, nor the impact on my finances, by magically deleting those few weeks of my life at the press of a computer button. I hope that I have misunderstood you.

Message 2:
In the event of no reply to Message 1, I'd then send a repeat of Message 1 within a couple of days with this at the end but only if I were prepared to follow it through:

... I would not want to have to contact [small claims court/friends/parents/family - delete as appropriate] for the money - explaining the situation to them would just prolong the bad memories for all concerned.

lubeybooby Sun 17-Mar-13 17:37:11

hmm ok. I may go for the gentle reminder then with a sweet, delicate and breezy air of 'you're messing with the wrong bitch here dude' Rather than 'not a single fuck given' grin

Lawyer Velvet a promise to pay is still a contract? I know it may not be worth taking it to court but the fact that she could do may be enough.

Yes nothing to loose with that for openers Lubey. The fucker doesn't realise he is actually messing with an 'atrocious bunch of MN cunts' does he grin

mercury7 Sun 17-Mar-13 17:38:51

Lubey-I'd imagine he thinks that if he ignores you you'll go away..e-mailing with a reminder of the conversation (do you have an actual recording, or e-mail exchange?) may also be taken as a subtle hint that you might show the evidence to other people?

lubeybooby Sun 17-Mar-13 17:41:10

BeforeAndAfter, thanks I really like that approach and message. I may send pretty much a carbon copy of it.

And yes velvet and all, you are right it is about the money now and not anything else. I had long decided I wasn't all that interested in him anymore.

lubeybooby Sun 17-Mar-13 17:43:03

mercury I have it all in writing from messages on skype.

B&A great post

BeforeAndAfter Sun 17-Mar-13 17:46:03

I've just googled the small claims court and I'd be tempted (for Message 2) to download the form, complete a draft and send it along to him with the informational leaflets about the process to "give him a chance to comment so you get your facts right" before you start the tedious process of the claim. That should put the wind up him.

mercury7 Sun 17-Mar-13 17:47:38

I also think the suggestion from B&A is very good, it sounds calm and in control with just the right hint of threat.

I'd imagine that having the skype conversation copied back to him a few times will make him think about how he'd feel if his friends & family read it

lubeybooby Sun 17-Mar-13 17:49:21

OK, I've emailed. And text to tell him he has mail.

mercury7 Sun 17-Mar-13 17:50:20

dont fuck about with any of that boiling rabbits nonsense, take advice from B&A, straight for the jugular!

B&A I like this. From what I remember you have had a lot of experience in dealing with abject twuntery.

VelvetSpoon Sun 17-Mar-13 18:01:05

Legally a 'contract' doesn't have to be formally written, or indeed written at all ( I once successfully claimed about £75k for a client based on an oral variation of an informal written contract!) yes tell him small claims court, (even if you don't intend to) let me know if you need any help with the forms.

WarmFuzzyFun Sun 17-Mar-13 18:18:20

Lubey, the 'nest of MN vibers' will get this sorted.

Snapespeare Sun 17-Mar-13 18:24:54

I'd be turning up at his place of work in two months time with a cushion stuffed up my frock and running mascara, the fucker.

Snapespeare Sun 17-Mar-13 18:25:24

As if you haven't had enough to contend with lubes and now this.

lubeybooby Sun 17-Mar-13 18:27:28

Snape, lmfao at the cushion idea!

Nothing yet...

lubeybooby Sun 17-Mar-13 18:31:16

He must have got my text because he just came online on skype

lulubellaboozle Sun 17-Mar-13 18:31:42

that's because his hands are shaking so much he can't type a reply yet!!

lubeybooby Sun 17-Mar-13 18:39:59

I'll give it half an hour then send the second version if the mail. he's quite a slow typist so I'll give him a little time to reply.

I expect I'm blocked on skype and that email now too (if he knows how to do it with his email provider) but I have a work addy he doesn't know yet that I can send it from.

And a work phone I can text from in case he's blocked that too after the last text.

lubeybooby Sun 17-Mar-13 18:42:05

or should I leave it til tomorrow?

KirstyWirsty Sun 17-Mar-13 18:42:45

lubey what a cunt .. However he also sounds like a coward so hopefully the threat of the small claims court will make him cough up without much further ado

mercury7 Sun 17-Mar-13 18:45:06

I'd say it's reasonable to give him 24 hours to respond to the first e-mail?

BeforeAndAfter Sun 17-Mar-13 18:45:22

I'd be inclined to leave it until tomorrow or the day after then it looks like you're just taking it in your stride and in business mode rather than "incensed female mode".

Flipper924 Sun 17-Mar-13 18:47:31

Eurgh, Lubey.

So sorry that he's turned out to be such a twunt, after he seemed so decent. It smacks of 'not my problem now'.

lubeybooby Sun 17-Mar-13 18:48:51

Ok, I'll leave it til tomorrow.

BeforeAndAfter Sun 17-Mar-13 18:50:21

If you're going for the small claims court threat it gives you a chance to do the forms as I'd send those with the 2nd e-mail. You don't want to drip feed him e-mails and get into that "... and another thing you bastard" mode by sending a 3rd e-mail with forms - plus he might have blocked you on whichever address you subsequently use. Do you have his home address in case he keeps blocking?

lubeybooby Sun 17-Mar-13 18:55:56

No B&A I can't remember any part of it at all. Which is annoying but I had severe pregnancy brain at the time. Just work addy.

BeforeAndAfter Sun 17-Mar-13 19:03:45

Work's probably better to be honest as he'll be more motivated to keep this out of the office.

In the second e-mail, should it get that far, and subject to fact pattern (i.e. if he blocks you on Skype etc), I'd include this:

"As you are blocking each e-mail address I use to contact you, you leave me with no choice but to use your work address to ensure that I am able to demonstrate to the courts clear communication with you. Obviously I would prefer not to do that."

If you know his full name and town of residence I expect 192 will tell you his home address. You need to pay though.

Snapespeare Sun 17-Mar-13 19:05:15

nods in agreement at small claims courts forms accompanying the 2nd email. This is making my blood boil.

lubeybooby Sun 17-Mar-13 19:09:07

Yeah I know the name and town.

hmm.

Snapespeare Sun 17-Mar-13 19:14:51

Growl.

Lubey defo wait until tomorrow, it's all business now and gives him more time to sweat I've seen The Sweeny. You have everything to gain here he has everything to loose so lets hope he sees sense in his own self interest.

lubeybooby Sun 17-Mar-13 19:22:20

Oh... he's back online on skype... not blocked there yet then.

<waits...>

Lubey I've pm'd you.

Snapespeare Sun 17-Mar-13 19:23:53

..and I'm holding your hand and pouring virtual wine

OhWesternWind Sun 17-Mar-13 19:28:31

Can't believe he's acting like such a twat. It's just the last thing you need on top of everything else. Really poor behaviour.

I'm hoping he'll reply soon if he's on Skype now. Got everything crossed.

lubeybooby Sun 17-Mar-13 19:31:59

Got a reply. being a total asshole. brb

BeforeAndAfter Sun 17-Mar-13 19:38:14

Hmm. is he whining or is it an outright "no"?

lubeybooby Sun 17-Mar-13 19:41:19

He was whining. Saying he didn't appreciate being asked for money 'out of the blue' and 'guilt tripped'

I've put him straight, very politely, along with the screenshot of the conversation where he agreed.

Super nice and lovely, I was.

He was arsey though. Ha. I'm winning.

Snapespeare Sun 17-Mar-13 19:42:24

You've already won. Twat faced twat.

Winefiend Sun 17-Mar-13 19:45:37

OUT OF THE BLUE?! I am raging on your behalf lubey. Cock.

Agree with Snape. Whether he pays or not you've already won. Nice and icy does it grin

lubeybooby Sun 17-Mar-13 19:47:31

I know, winefiend, I know. I am channeling my rage into super polite businesswomanwhowillwin mode.

MirandaWest Sun 17-Mar-13 19:51:17

He said he'd give it to you around the time when it was done if I remember correctly so nearly a month ago and gave you less then than he was meant to. Am also virtually hand holding

BeforeAndAfter Sun 17-Mar-13 19:52:06

most men say they like facts so keep giving him facts. I think draft forms for the small claims court are very factual.

You could go back and tell him that "out of the blue" would be asking him for 50% and you're only asking for 20% per your contract (use the word contract, it IS a contract).

Icy and factual does it ...

Give him good fact girl.

lubeybooby Sun 17-Mar-13 19:54:07

Yep, all factual and polite. Contract is a good word.

I'll use that if he's an asshole again in the next reply. Or if there's no reply.

lubeybooby Sun 17-Mar-13 19:54:56

can I just say at this point that i love you lot for giving me the nudge to do it grin

lubeybooby Sun 17-Mar-13 19:59:09

Right.

compose me a reply please before I explode with THE RAGE

"To me 3 weeks of no contact and then requests for money seems quite out of the blue.

I gave you everything I could on the day and its left me short too.

I don't really know why you want another £150 from me, or £350 in total, for a £535 treatment"

WarmFuzzyFun Sun 17-Mar-13 20:00:06

angry

KinNora Sun 17-Mar-13 20:02:29

Ah TT, you fool, crossing the vipers. What were you thinking ?

BeforeAndAfter Sun 17-Mar-13 20:05:21

A quick afterthought - cowards don't like confrontation so he won't want to meet you to pay cash so give him the option of wiring you the money by offering your bank details. I wouldn't be inclined to offer him the option of posting you a cheque - you want it all done in real-time so you can keep the momentum; you're more likely to win with momentum. Procrastinators tend to bore us up-and-at-em sort and then we can't be arsed and go off in search of a new mouse to play with... don't let that happen to this rodent.

Lubey he's begging for it isn't he. Yep, give him fact.

OhWesternWind Sun 17-Mar-13 20:07:45

angry. Bloody fool

Lubey, go and walk round the block or punch your pillow or something, get a bit of that rage out.

But really, how bloody dare he?

B&A has totally got the measure of him.

lulubellaboozle Sun 17-Mar-13 20:10:18

Wtf? how about, as part of a more considered reply,

'you gave me everything you could on the day and it's left me short'

Well, consider yourself fortunate that "on the day" all you had to do was part with some money, as I actually had to go through the procedure, which was a lot more painful that parting with some cash.

lubeybooby Sun 17-Mar-13 20:10:50

I still need a cutting, factual reply.

The three weeks of no contact... excuse me but he hasn't contacted me either, and this is humiliating so I was actually hoping to be in a flush enough position not to have to trouble him for it. I paid for it via overdraft which was temporary and being called in soon... hence approaching him now.

Helphelphelp with a factual reply including the word contract

BeforeAndAfter Sun 17-Mar-13 20:19:11

"I had thought highly of you and believed you when you agreed to pay me XX. I didn't contact you straight away as I needed time to recover from the physical impact on my body and wanted to give you time to come to terms with what had happened. I also quietly hoped that you would 'do the decent thing' and honour your agreement without my request.

As you agreed to pay XX I made a decision to have the procedure done privately which has now put me in a position where, I'm embarrassed to say, I am unable to meet other bills. It boils down to the fact that I relied on you and, as much as I hate to use legal-style language, I relied on the contract between us.

Please send me the money you agreed to pay to XX account. I truly do not want any further bad memories between us."

Lubey up to you at this stage as to whether or not you use the small claims court threat. I think you are bouncing this rodent on your paw.

Of topic this knobber is clearly getting his kicks trying to set women up. Against my better judgement I replied to a one sentence message and got a very polite message back claiming he'd talked to his gf last night and she would like to try meeting a woman. Trouble is, he had clearly copied and pasted as he had added my name but forgotten to remove the name of some other woman. Knobber.

Bant Sun 17-Mar-13 20:25:53

Off topic too, but I thought it may cheer people up from general twattishness:

This is just brilliant. I especially love #11

Also I should point out that the subject of #19, Rob Roy, is my great-great-great-great-great grandfather. Apparently.

Snapespeare Sun 17-Mar-13 20:26:10

Nameless mentioned 'eloping' in a scrabble convo tonight choose your hats ladies has he no idea how we do things?

MirandaWest Sun 17-Mar-13 20:31:50

Eloping sounds an excellent idea Snape smile

TweedSlacks Sun 17-Mar-13 20:32:33

De lurks.- little suggestion

"I had thought highly of you and believed you when you agreed to pay for my operation to be done at a private clinic. I didn't contact you straight away as I needed time to recover from the mental and physical impact the operation had on me and wanted to give you time to come to terms with what had happened. I also quietly hoped that you would 'do the decent thing' and honour your agreement without my request.

maybe?

'fingers crossed for lubey'

Snapespeare Sun 17-Mar-13 20:35:59

tweed before you re-lurk... That's fab. Factual. Classy. Tempered.

lubeybooby Sun 17-Mar-13 20:36:00

thank you B&A <worships at feet>

I'll save the small claims threat for his reply following this one if it's anything but 'fine, have the money'

lubeybooby Sun 17-Mar-13 20:37:00

Ok. tis sent.

Snapespeare Sun 17-Mar-13 20:37:13

miranda god, no, I've known him for six weeks rrrrrrr that would be foolish.

Snapespeare Sun 17-Mar-13 20:39:38

lubey. Can I reiterate that you have acted with integrity throughout this and I have huge amounts of respect for you. He's being a bit of a dick. You shine, sister.

VelvetSpoon Sun 17-Mar-13 20:40:01

Lubey well done for sending it.

I probably wouldn't have said the 'thought highly of' bit but other that my evil lawyer brain would have come up with something v similar.

I really REALLY hope he now says 'Ok, have the money' even if it is (almost undoubtedly) in the manner of a petulant child who has been told to return something that they want but which doesn't belong to them...

lubeybooby Sun 17-Mar-13 20:41:32

Velv, great minds think alike... I didn't send the 'thought highly of' bit wink

lubeybooby Sun 17-Mar-13 20:42:51

I included a line also about not understanding why there is any dispute here, referring him to the section of conversation in the skype chat where he said he would do anything to make it easier.

VelvetSpoon Sun 17-Mar-13 20:49:09

Lubey I'm glad you didn't send that bit.

I think reminding him of what he said previously is good too.

He really is being a whiny little shit about this. And what annoys me is that its that hes saying he cant afford it (that still wouldnt be an excuse imo), seems more like he just resents being asked hmm Utter, utter, knob.

lubeybooby Sun 17-Mar-13 20:52:14

Prepare to be even more annoyed.

He earns 70k absolute minimum for his field. Two modest properties, one he rents out long term with no problems, no dependants.

I get the feeling his idea of 'being short' is very different to that of a renting single parent on 25/30k who has paid out vastly more than him to cover the situation.

mercury7 Sun 17-Mar-13 21:18:12

Lubey, I even think whether he has been left 'short' is besides the point.

The point is that he offered to pay for private treatment and you only went ahead on the basis of that offer.

Had it been some other matter you might have got the money upfront before you went ahead, but you were physically & emotionally very vulnerable and in your situation who wouldn't have trusted him and taken his kindness as genuine.

Pomegranatenoir Sun 17-Mar-13 21:21:53

Hi ladies

lubey amazing as ever!! You are getting brilliant advice off the lovely people of MN tonight! He is messing with the wrong woman!

It is off with Mr Irish. I have always said I had my doubts and this week they came to fruition. Every communication we have had since Monday has been about how stressed he is at work and home. I have been sympathetic but tbh I don't like the way he has handled the stress (kept that to myself). I have been ill this week with awful viral thing and he didn't offer any support. Texts have got fewer and really boring. Defo not doing it for me. I sent him a text yesterday that he hasn't replied to. Pissed me off big time. Made me feel needy checking my phone every 5 mins like I want him when I know really that he isn't for me. Then tonight I went online and he was there too. Rat. Inwanted things to be fun and easy and this situation wasnt either. Nor did he mentally stimulate me, his spelling was awful and he had a potentially chavvy background! So I have wrote him off. Not sent him a text or anything but just mentally closed the Mr Irish door. Has upset me a bit because it was nice having someone but I know he wasn't doing it properly for me. I also has sex for the first time since exh and that was a big thing for me to do (but didn't actually feel that massive a deal when I had done it!!) and I don't think I liked his way!

So now I am just after a bit of advice. I realise I am the needy type. Can anyone recommend any good books on how not to be needy and how to value your life without a man in it. I need to be on my own for a bit. Everything is speeding up around me (job, divorce, kids, fab new social life etc) and I need to focus on that for a bit!

Sorry to interrupt lubey

lubeybooby Sun 17-Mar-13 21:23:18

Thanks mercury, very good point, he has had plenty of time to plan for it too, if it were me I'd have been expecting to give the remaining money at some point soon. yeah I did trust him, he was nothing other than totally devastated by the situation and very kind about it and good with it.

Oh he's online again here we go again I expect...

hmm

lubeybooby Sun 17-Mar-13 21:33:41

Pomegranate I think that stuff just sort of comes to you in time

I'm not sure of any books on the subject but hopefully someone else will know

KirstyWirsty Sun 17-Mar-13 21:34:30

I watched we bought a zoo earlier and am now watching ghost .. Is if too much to ask to find a man like Benjamin or Sam ??

Got the Sunday (dd away to her dad's) blues

Lubey what Mercury said. This is just him with his back against the wall trying to justify himself. Doesn't matter if he's 'short' or not, he owes you big time. Lets remind ourselves, he took one/two days off, was able to work throughout (you lost working time), didn't have to deal with any of the physical trauma, didn't have his to book and pay for a hotel. All he had to do was come up with part of the payment and be there for 24 hrs, he is being mean now in the full sense of the word.

Pomegranatenoir Sun 17-Mar-13 21:41:51

kirsty bad choice of films for a down day!! Good men are out there waiting to find good women like us. Everything happens at the right time and pace.

Don't be down. Let your mind wander back to your brill NYC trip...

lubeybooby Sun 17-Mar-13 21:44:57

Juliette yes I agree, thanks. He took it as holiday as well , just one day, so really hasn't lost anything.

This is why the post is often misdirected, he's a postman

I LIKE TO GO TO THE GYM AT LEST 4 TIMES A WEEK AND TO HANGOUT WITH FRIENDS ASMUCH AS POSABLE
I WOULD LIKE TO TRAVLE MORE IM EASY GOING PERSON LET MOST THINGS SLIDE CANT BE ARSST WITH RUDE PEOPLE
BUT I CAN BE VERY CAREING PERSON ASW WELL

Bant I'm joining No 30. Naturist dangly bits has to be better than POF's more erect members.

KinNora Sun 17-Mar-13 22:07:37

Clown Dating looks only marginally less attractive than Match ...

mercury7 Sun 17-Mar-13 22:07:47

I know it's cruel Juliette, but I just want to point & laugh @ the postie blush

KirstyWirsty Sun 17-Mar-13 22:07:51

Pom this is the first time I've been all by myself with nothing to do since I decided I've had enough of mr cheeky .. I had New York and then DD's birthday .. But today at lunchtime DD went to her dad .. I am feeling really sad and a trip to the gym didn't work so I went to the cinema to see the great and powerful oz didn't work either

I know I gave done the right thing .. He is a loser and a waste of space but I still feel very down and weepy sad

lubeybooby Sun 17-Mar-13 22:08:17

ARRST?

I just can't even...

Pomegranatenoir Sun 17-Mar-13 22:14:56

kirsty mr cheeky never sounded quite right. He was a distraction but think issues arise when the distraction proves to be more of a problem than fun.

It is sad being on your own at times. I expect you are coming down from the mighty high of new home, NYC, dd birthday. Tomorrow is another day and you will wake up feeling positive. But I know it is crap. And it is hard at times to pick yourself up. But that is what we do, because we are amazing and resilient. You don't need mr cheeky bringing you down. You really don't!!

OhWesternWind Sun 17-Mar-13 22:17:12

Sorry you are feeling so low Kirsty. You did what was right for you about Mr Cheeky but it will still hurt and you're bound to be thinking about him. It's very early days at the moment still. I think you're doing the right thing keeping busy. Tomorrow will be a better day.

He messaged me, it is clear on my profile that we wouldn't be suited and he is not a looker either. At some point, stupid just doesn't know it is.

Kirsty sorry to hear you are feeling it tonight, it will pass, meanwhile there is crap tv and the fridge.

Bant Sun 17-Mar-13 22:22:25

and soooo much crap tv...

KirstyWirsty Sun 17-Mar-13 22:23:03

*pom^ I know I don't need him ..I have had several 'entitled loser' type texts from him since last week .. I am ignoring now .. We used to be in constant contact so there is a bit of a gap now .. I will get over it .. I will not contact him .. My gut instinct when I started seeing him in sept was avoid avoid and yet I kept seeing him <slaps self round head >

OhWesternWind Sun 17-Mar-13 22:23:56

You as well Pom - sorry I missed your post, reading the thread backwards isn't a clever idea. Realising that things aren't right and then doing something about it is the opposite of needy! You should be feeling really proud of yourself for getting out of something that wasn't working - its not always the easiest thing to do. It sounds like your life's going really well, plenty of stuff going on, so maybe just keeping busy, seeing friends, working, making sure you have a full life without a man is the way to go. It all sounds so positive for you at the moment.

Oops Pom only you know if you feel needy but Mr Irish didn't come up to scratch and you have stopped it so I'd say you're on your way smile

Pomegranatenoir Sun 17-Mar-13 22:31:55

oww thank you! It is positive for me at the mo but feel like I am never that far away from it all going wrong. And all the positives in my life come with a major catch but I suppose that is just the way things are. I am getting stronger every day but know its not an overnight thing. Healing is a slow process but I know I will get there!!

kirsty it's that gap that is difficult to manage! You need to be busy. Full your diary with fun stuff. Make your life sooooooo filled with fun stuff that you will forget mr cheeky ever existed let alone occupied space in your life.

lubeybooby Sun 17-Mar-13 22:32:16

Kirsty you definitely did the right thing. I'm sure you'll feel better soon, hang on in there smile

No further reply although he was online for quite a while... hmm.

Pomegranatenoir Sun 17-Mar-13 22:38:32

I know that I am needy but think that comes from being in a relationship with someone since I was 16. I've never really done the being in my own thing. That is changing though. I have truly amazing friends and have had brilliant night out with them recently. Had some awful hangovers too!! I need to focus on the good stuff not the bad.

No one ever said that life would be easy, did they...?

lubeybooby Sun 17-Mar-13 22:41:10

great advice from oww there pomegranate... you're really doing well and you're gonna be fine.

KirstyWirsty Sun 17-Mar-13 22:41:37

pom no they didn't but good friends make it all worthwhile

VelvetSpoon Sun 17-Mar-13 22:50:11

Lubey do you think no more replies means that (hopefully) he realises he's behaved like a dick and is now going to pay what he owes?

I really REALLY hope that's the case. Fingers crossed.

lubeybooby Sun 17-Mar-13 22:52:18

I'd like to hope so velvet but I do doubt it. I think there's more whingeing to come... he didn't take well to being beaten irrefutably before did he and still tried to twist things...

Lubey I hope he thinks about it and tomorrow decides to do you the 'favour' to shut you up or something hmm

VelvetSpoon Sun 17-Mar-13 23:04:17

Its probably too much to hope he will be guilted by his conscience...although as Juliette says he might pay up in the sense of a 'favour' and with very bad grace.

If he doesn't then we will unleash the forces of the small claims court (or the threat of it at least) on him...

lubeybooby Sun 17-Mar-13 23:18:37

He's obviously feeling some guilt to have felt the effect of a guilt trip... if i wasn't right that wouldn't have even occurred to him. Whether it will have enough effect or not... who knows. we'll see what he says tomorrow, guessing there won't be anything til evening tomorrow now, if anything at all.

VelvetSpoon Sun 17-Mar-13 23:27:41

I hope he agrees to pay, even if its begrudgingly. It would be nice if he could come back and apologise but I doubt that will happen!

Let's hope tomorrow brings better news.

I've been having a think about stuff today and I'm getting close to the end of my patience with C. I haven't heard from him about this Friday, which may well mean I'm not seeing him. If that's the case I suspect I will end up being more than a little terse in my response. I'd rather speak to him face to face, but at this rate who knows when that will be.

KirstyWirsty Sun 17-Mar-13 23:28:53

lubey he is a cowardly weasel .. The threat of small claims court will have him coughing up .. I am 100% certain of this!!

lubeybooby Mon 18-Mar-13 02:18:50

Grrrr. Can't sleep... I'm wound up. It's always injustice that winds me up the most and keeps me awake!

Biggest annoying thought at the moment is that if he had an issue with the amount then he could have and should have said so at the goddamn time when I could have attempted to make other arrangements or wait for NHS, not when it's already done and I've budgeted accordingly, by the skin of my teeth. And that going along with it just to make sure I danced to his tune is lower than Jeremy Kyle guest behaviour.

I intend to politely and Britishly crush him, as only a polite British woman can do.

<ahem>

Velvet - I really don't blame you for your patience with C wearing thin, he really is getting silly again now. I am concerned too that you really don't seem any happier or more fulfilled than when you were actively looking on PoF, which says a lot about how much he enriches your life... namely not at all, but yet despite clearly giving off different vibes and attracting many men, you're not interested in any of them because of that knob C. It's like the very WORST of both worlds for you at the moment, and that's not fair.

You deserve vastly more, and I really hope C can sort his life out a bit and give you more - he only stands to gain from it too, so it's really not a big thing to ask of him.

I would make a special case here and text I think and ask to meet just for a coffee or drink (if he can't do an overnighter) and have a talk about this. Then if he really can't get a grip, more contact, trip to the pub on a weeknight sometimes, meeting a bit more regularly, generally not keeping you as a puppet on a string... time to say bye bye and be held back by him no longer.

lubeybooby Mon 18-Mar-13 02:20:08

too many reallys in the above shock man I'm tired. No chance at all of sleep though when I'm in fired up wound up mode.

MirandaWest Mon 18-Mar-13 07:25:00

Hope you managed to get some sleep lubey.

I am not feeling inspired to get out of bed which is nice and warm. There was silly snow here yesterday afternoon covering cars and roads in about an hour and hoping its all gone now. Doesn't help getting emails with pictures of stunning California coastlines from Mr Nice and hearing how they've been driving with the roof down grin.

lubeybooby Mon 18-Mar-13 07:34:07

Yeah, about 1.5 hours <drags sorry carcass around> ughhh. Oh well, still better than nothing grin

No snow here but it's bloody bastard cold. bbrrr

48howdidthathappen Mon 18-Mar-13 07:38:54

I hope the arsehole sees the error of his ways today Lubey

Jackdaws going mad in my chimney this morning. Spring has sprung smile

hoplittlebunnyhophophop Mon 18-Mar-13 07:50:35

Hi everyone, haven't posted for ages because I've been sulking that my dating experiences have continued to be so crap but have been reading, feeling happy for some and really angry on behalf of others! Lubey TT is behaving like such a cowardly twat isn't he.

Last time I was posting, I had seen Mr Full On about 4 times who then suddenly disappeared leaving me really bemused, especially given his nickname. He was really good looking, had something about him, but I kept questioning whether he was genuine or not. Everything he told me was true and I just expected everything that came out of his mouth to be lies. This, I know, is due to my hang ups owing to STBXH. I'm just finding it really difficult to find the balance between being a prize mug or overly defensive and unconsciously sabotaging any hope of more than a couple of dates. I just did stupid things out of self preservation - he asked me to come round and then he'd take me out for dinner and I assumed he would just cancel anyway so I was being aloof and acted flaky and non committal, until he text me that evening saying 'are you coming round or what?' Responded along the lines of 'oh, if you want'. Oh that sounds so immature and flaky.

I then saw Mr Pheasant a couple of times. He got some really bad news and went off radar, no response to a text sent from me asking if he wanted to go out again. (This was my attempt at leaving the 'aloof' and overly defensive stuff behind). Fair enough though.

Mr Consistently Nice (nicknamed tentatively..rightly so) - spoke on the phone for hours and hours. Met a couple of times. Seemed quite normal, nice, complimentary. Didn't set my world on fire particularly. Then last week, he called me and asked if he could come and see me, said he would leave his in 15 minutes and never turned up. I text him a couple of days later asking what happened (as I genuinely thought 'what if he crashed his car?') He responded saying he'd fallen asleep/been too tired and then thought I'd be 'on one' because he didn't turn up...so just ignored me instead? He's now asking to see me again but it's not going to happen.

So my question is about Mr Full On. I haven't dwelled too much on the others specifically although have thought that there must be something wrong with me after experiencing what seems to be a pattern of men disappearing. But I have thought about him, maybe just because I really fancied him. I sent him a text last night (about 6 weeks since he disappeared) just saying how are you. I got a response saying 'who's this, I lost my phone a while ago and lost all my contacts'. When I told him it was me, his attitude was 'my god, about time I heard from you, I lost my contacts and you never text me, how are you, can I see you. I've said yes, he's said he's free any time, wants to come and see me one day this week then take me out friday. I'm a prize mug aren't I? About to get used by him? Again? And the lost phone story is bollocks?

Oh, I'm really sorry for the huge outpouring from me, I just don't trust my own instincts at all...

VelvetSpoon Mon 18-Mar-13 08:07:09

Lubey sad for lack of sleep, poor you. I know how awful I felt when I couldn't sleep last week. Agree entirely that he should have said if the money was an issue at the time....really hoping he does the decent thing today and that will be a weight lifted I'm sure.

Re C, I am happier than I was before BUT I'm not as happy as I want to be (if that makes sense). I'm not overanalysing everything, I'm not filled with feelings of doom, so that's all good, but equally I'm not as excited as I should be at this stage, which given how infrequently I see him is probably not surprising. I'd like to give him a chance, suggest we see each other once a week even if it is only for an hour or whatever, but if he can't/won't do that then I don't think there's any future in it. Which is a shame because he is lovely, I like him very much and I know he likes me. Plus I do make a brilliant girlfriend, and would definitely make his life better (I'm also very modest grin).

Hop the phone thing might be genuine - did he have any other way of contacting you though? Email? Did he have your address to pop round and put a note through your door? If so, then I suspect it may be BS. If not though it could well be true, it's happened to me in the past when I've lost phones.

lubeybooby Mon 18-Mar-13 08:09:55

hoplittle... I've heard a lost phone story or two before mostly from the same wanker but I dunno. I'd probably give it a chance, you were thinking of him anyway and it didn't really end with any particular conclusion, and from what you've said it could be true, feasible etc.

48howdidthathappen Mon 18-Mar-13 08:16:30

Hop Another phone loser here. It can happen. Just have your wits about you smile

lubeybooby Mon 18-Mar-13 08:17:19

Velvet you're right to think that, well on all counts there really!

I manage to be both ridiculously busy, knackered, and lazy at the same time but even BC and I managed to see each other every week/ten days and I definitely at very very least have time for an evening in a pub once a week, or a coffee and cake at the weekend... or anything along those lines especially if it was only for a couple of hours.

If he can't do that then I'd suspect it's won't rather than can't and that just isn't good enough.

48howdidthathappen Mon 18-Mar-13 08:17:47

I really must write down all my numbers. Complete pain if you do lose your phone.

48howdidthathappen Mon 18-Mar-13 08:22:18

Spot on Velvet We all make the time. It aint easy for any of us.

hoplittlebunnyhophophop Mon 18-Mar-13 08:28:24

Thanks guys, Velvet he's been to mine before so it wasn't like he was battering down the hatches to see me. Though I suppose he could have assumed that I wasn't bothered either as I hadn't text him. He lives about 25/30 miles away, but no excuse not to come round to explain lost phone if he was really interested. Or maybe that would have been too full on after four dates. Argh. I'm seeing him tomorrow anyway. And apparently taking me out on friday. We'll see if he disappears again...really excited about tomorrow...

lubeybooby Mon 18-Mar-13 08:29:16

yeah hop just see how it goes this time. Fingers crossed smile

MirandaWest Mon 18-Mar-13 08:37:16

Argh dishwasher has error code it had last year which needed man to come out and sort it. I rent so it will get done but will just take a couple of weeks for the letting agent to get their finger out (or has done on previous occasions). Plus I always feel worried when reporting maintenance. Thunk gutters may be blocked too - cant decide whether to mention that as well....

Nearly school time - I need to be dressed blush

VelvetSpoon Mon 18-Mar-13 08:53:52

Lubey/48 yes he should be able to find the time to see me once a week, especially given how close we live to each other. I really hope it is just because he's thinking in terms simply of overnights (which can really only be on fridays) rather than that he doesn't want to see me regularly - which honestly wouldn't fit in with how he is when he's with me. We'll see. Am going to text him today and ask about friday...

lubeybooby Mon 18-Mar-13 08:57:55

good luck velvet, hope you can at least get a drink or coffee in so you can chat even if he can't do overnight... agree maybe he just needs pointing in the right direction with how he thinks about dates and seeing you

Miranda argh! I loooove my dishwasher. if anything ever happens to it I may actually cry.

OhWesternWind Mon 18-Mar-13 09:23:55

Am I being daft but if you've lost your phone how do you get a text on the old number? Or can the phone company put you on the same number with your new phone/SIM? Sorry, haven't been in that situation myself so I've no idea how it works. But I'd give him another try, Hop - it should make things clearer in your mind if nothing else, but it sounds like he wants to see you. If not, he could have just fobbed you off and not arranged to meet.

Velvet I think you have come to some good conclusions and I hope so, so much that he steps up and things work out for you. He does sound like a really nice man, just not enough actually seeing him.

And fingers crossed for you too Lubey that today brings something better from TT. I've been thinking about you a lot over the past couple of days with all this nonsense and I hope so much that things work out.

Haven't got anything sorted out for seeing LM this week. This is not making me feel good. I am chafing at the once/twice a week stuff - definitely needs to move to twice a week for me, but I am trying desperately to hang on with all this for just a few more days just because he has so much on his plate with the shop - officially open today whoopee!!!! So it is NOT a good time to start with all the whittly shite with him. But, if we don't make arrangements soon I am not going to see him for yonks as I need to sort out babysitters and all that. Might phone him tonight.

VelvetSpoon Mon 18-Mar-13 10:08:19

Western I know when I've lost my phone in the past I've been sent a new sim for the same number. You can back up numbers online apparently with some phone co's but I have no idea how that works!

I do hope it works out with C, he is about a million times better than anyone else I've met OD, hence why I haven't given up long before now. But I want to be in a relationship with him and although I know that's months off yet, if we carry on seeing each other so infrequently it will never happen!

Hope you get to see LM this week smile

Hop yes just keep your wits about you, use it as practice for being yourself rather than try to behave how you think you should and see what happens.

Velvet you deserve someone who makes time to see you.

Lubey you don't need to give TT any head space at least until this evening, when he will be dealt with.

OWW few more days, few more days grin

OhWesternWind Mon 18-Mar-13 11:57:35

Aargh getting a bit of angst, well a lot today, really. Trying to keep a lid on it. The problem is I KNOW it is stupid, I know why I'm doing it, I know what sets it off but I just can't stop it. LM is happy and busy in his shop. I should be here being happy and busy at work (actually having a good run at work at the moment and enjoying it) but instead I am focussing on stupid trivial whittly crap. Might ring him tonight and arrange to see him, might not as I don't want to be chasing round after him at the moment.

Smear test this afternoon!

48howdidthathappen Mon 18-Mar-13 13:02:26

Yep OWW Just block phone and you get sent a new sim with your old number. No idea how to put numbers on computer, will do it the old way, in my address book.

I have kicked the needy me into touch. The super cool me is back grin grin grin

OhWesternWind Mon 18-Mar-13 13:05:14

One of my projects is on the BBC News website!! Oh the sweet taste of fame ....

lubeybooby Mon 18-Mar-13 13:15:27

Guess who didn't have to get to the small claims court threat stage?

Thank you everyone. He has paid! <can't help having a small grin>

48howdidthathappen Mon 18-Mar-13 13:18:28

Great news Lubey grin Glad you didn't let it go.

OhWesternWind Mon 18-Mar-13 13:21:40

Oh cracking news Lubey! Well done for having the gumption to stand up for him and get what he'd promised. Brilliant.

Snapespeare Mon 18-Mar-13 13:21:46

good news Lubey! smile

BeforeAndAfter Mon 18-Mar-13 13:22:31

Excellent news.

lubeybooby Mon 18-Mar-13 13:26:04

You're all awesome. Thanks for the factual wording suggestions and for keeping me calm. flowers

<looks forward to sleeping tonight instead of seething>

YES! Congratulations Lubey grin

MirandaWest Mon 18-Mar-13 13:28:18

That's great news smile

KirstyWirsty Mon 18-Mar-13 13:28:27

Yay thank goodness lubey

Lubey I do hope you are going to be bad and spend it on another dating dress grin

mercury7 Mon 18-Mar-13 13:38:09

High five Lubey!! grin

lubeybooby Mon 18-Mar-13 13:39:41

Haha, Juliette I wish I could! I'm online paying my council tax right now... starting to get just about caught up to where I should be now. Such a relief. I'm a sure a new date dress won't be too far in the future from this point and things can get back to normal.

That was a loose end you really didn't need, so glad it's all sorted.

lubeybooby Mon 18-Mar-13 14:00:25

Yes, Juliette very definitely, me too. I'm glad I swallowed that needless sense of pride and chased it up. <slams virtual door on that whole episode> <stands with back to door and lights a cigarette>

Pomegranatenoir Mon 18-Mar-13 14:28:30

lubey brill news!!! Tara TT!!

AndLibbyMakesThree Mon 18-Mar-13 14:45:26

Brilliant news Lubey! (And great advice from posters on this thread too).

ike1 Mon 18-Mar-13 14:51:59

Oh well done Lubes...and also the might of Mumsnetters! Guess who else is enjoying a spot of revenge today! Have had a thoroughly fun half hour sending sharp rebukes to all the married guys on POF asking to meet up...basically telling them to sort out their relationships or leave and that they should be ashamed. I then block. Hey feels good!

Winefiend Mon 18-Mar-13 15:06:54

That is great news lubey, very satisfying!

I have hidden myself on pof again - can't be bothered! The ones I have been messaging I don't think I can be arsed with either as I'll struggle to fit them in (so to speak) when I'm uo north.

lubeybooby Mon 18-Mar-13 15:10:55

Winefiend I can't be arsed with PoF either right now... hid profile and ran away screaming a couple of days ago.. gahh @ local men.

Thanks everyone re TT. The bunch of very switched on, brilliant women nest of vipers just can't be messed with.

I have slayed many dragons today, including him. Ahhh feels good to be getting somewhere.

OWW hope you're feeling a bit better, deep breaths if not, I'm sure all is fine and he did call last night and all that

KirstyWirsty Mon 18-Mar-13 15:27:08

There must be something in the air lubey .. I've had a suspicious lump checked out that I've been worrying about for weeks.( just a cyst phew!). Filled in a ppi complaint for a mortgage that I had 10 years ago that I've been meaning to do for months .. Looked into a bank account to put my financial settlement in (once stbxh signs the blasted thing) .. And completed 3 appraisals (7 still to do) and all my week's reporting grin

Winefiend Mon 18-Mar-13 15:32:08

Ah lubey it's depressing! I daren't even look locally as one of my friends has indicated it is not good. I have also concluded that some of the younger 'gents' seem to have a barrell load of ishoooooos!

However, I have told my friends to ensure I am single for summer as I have a week of residential school and intend to have lots of fun grin fuck some maths students

Bant Mon 18-Mar-13 16:18:42

Nice one Lubey. It turns out this thread is like the A-Team.

I've been exchanging a few more emails with Buffy, on the subject of such diverse things as why doors used to be in rooftops, why there used to be a tobacco-pipe and set of bellows on the banks of the Thames in victorian times (she's never seen QI so I sound like a genius) and things like that. I'm having dinner with her on Wednesday night when I'm back over there.

I feel a bit strange about the financial disparity. I know I shouldn't, but I'm on British pay in a decent job, and while keeping two flats going and flying back and forth to see my DC every 8 days or so is expensive, I don't have to worry about money too much. She earns about 300 quid a month. So I want to take her to nice places, eat good food and stuff but I'm just a bit worried about whether it'll make her feel weird. Should I take her to nice places which I can afford, and which are - well, nicer, or less nice places so it doesn't seem like I'm trying to flash the cash?

In the meantime, I haven't dropped MedStudent yet as I haven't seen or spoken to her apart from a couple of brief emails. She just Facebooked me, and I've accepted, but I'm going to cancel date #3 (which hadn't been fixed) saying that I met someone else... Seems like the best thing to say..?

Advice, anyone?

KirstyWirsty Mon 18-Mar-13 16:21:39

bant I thought you'd already decided you didn't want to go for date 3 as she was going to jump your bones? Probably best to let her know soonest I'd have thought?

Bant Mon 18-Mar-13 16:25:17

Kirsty - yes, (although these bones haven't been jumped since the Artist, months ago) - but I last saw her when she was flying back to the US to go to a wedding as a bridesmaid, and I really didn't want to upset her just before that. I think I have to do it tomorrow. Part of me wants to see how Wednesday goes with Buffy first, give them 2 dates each and then choose, but...

lubeybooby Mon 18-Mar-13 16:41:41

Bant, why not ask her?

The only time I would feel uncomfortable after being paid for on the first date (which is always fine by me) was if these nice places kept happening and I knew I couldn't afford to go dutch.

This sort of happened with BC and I and after feeling a bit uncomfortable while he kept paying I think he noticed and we spoke about it. I said yes as long as long as I could pay sometimes and so I would do when we went someone reasonable to middling and he would pick up the tab for the places out of my league that were his choice to go to.

MyLittleMiracles Mon 18-Mar-13 16:45:26

Hello, just popping onto say hi, still not dating <men are not worth the hassle> quite happily single with just couple of friends around me. xx

OhWesternWind Mon 18-Mar-13 16:58:26

Calling all Vipers, calling all Vipers ... Can you help me sort out the situation with LM's Little Friend? It looks like she is coming up to stay with him again soon (comment on FB asking him to book her in for an appointment next week). He's not said anything to me that he's arranged this but to be fair I've not seen all that much of him recently.

I am fed up with this. It seems like he is spending more time with her than with me and obviously has made arrangements for her to come and visit yet again. I'm not happy about this on several levels - I have a strong gut feeling that she's after him, and I don't like him spending all this time with her doing nice stuff when it should be me! I don't want it to sound like I don't want him to have friends, of course I do, but this is just getting silly.

Bad time to find this out as I'm already feeling very wobbly today.

Please advise, what should I do?

Bant I think you need to be honest with the Med Student - its only been a couple of dates, so a nice text saying you've met someone, good luck etc should be fine. About the meal, why don't you send her a message asking where she'd like to go, making it clear it's your treat, then you can get all those issues out of the way beforehand?

lubeybooby Mon 18-Mar-13 17:06:42

Viper reporting for duty! <salutes>

OWW I really wouldn't be entirely happy either even though you've explained about why she is around and that.

I reckon hang fire til you can talk face to face though? As for what to say, not really sure apart from maybe just saying she makes you uncomfortable and ask for some understanding about that and wanting to feel important and that you have just as much of his time and attention? That's probably the angle I would use.

It might be a tiny bit unreasonable, but you are allowed to be after his behaviour before, you need to feel a bit more secure in the relationship and he should be happy to reassure you.

OhWesternWind Mon 18-Mar-13 17:11:56

Do you think it would be a good plan to ask him to arrange something for us all together so I can meet her?

MirandaWest Mon 18-Mar-13 17:13:15

OWW that's aggravating. I think you need to talk to LM about this - whatever is going on its making you feel uncomfortable and that's not good. A few months ago I felt that Mr Nice was being rather at the beck and call of his XW and we talked about it. He started being in touch less and I understood more and stopped feeling worried about it.

lubeybooby Mon 18-Mar-13 17:13:18

Yeah I do think it's a good idea. friends close, enemies closer... and all that.

OhWesternWind Mon 18-Mar-13 17:19:24

I've sort of talked to him about her, basically what he's saying is that she's a nuisance but he feels sorry for her because she's so lonely. It's difficult to argue with that without looking like a prize cow. And of course he can see who he wants when he wants, I know that and I really don't think he thinks about her in any way other than being a friend. It's very difficult to tackle this without sounding jealous, a control freak or a bit of a bitch.

KirstyWirsty Mon 18-Mar-13 17:25:03

I would go with the tack that you want to meet her OWW

lubeybooby Mon 18-Mar-13 17:25:27

I don't think you sound any of those things OWW. You're just still both finding your feet within the relationship and need a bit more reassurance, that's all. No biggie, wouldn't be to me anyway if I were LM with a friend like that.

OhWesternWind Mon 18-Mar-13 17:45:26

Then she posts loads of stuff all over FB about what a lively time she's having with her "favourite people" and loads of photos with her doing stuff with LM and his boys, real happy family stuff. It's her doing this not him btw but it rankles. And hurts, tbh.

I could get quite ranty about all this.

WarmFuzzyFun Mon 18-Mar-13 18:14:04

Late roar of triumph from WFF!

The nest is alive and well, the hive mind is unbeatable, don't mess with the nest!

OWW I wait before I said anything, at the moment he is a bit stressed/busy with shop, but I would make plans to join their merry happenings and surprise her.

Velvet, I think I would talk to him about the frequency after I'd had my pleasures, oil the wheels a little wink But that might just be me, pleasure before pain...

All's well, and all manner of things continue to stroll towards being well.

MirandaWest Mon 18-Mar-13 18:16:50

You don't sound jealous or a bitch to me but you need to tell LM how it's making you feel. Being with him should enhance your life not make you feel worried.

I am washing up due to the E4 error code on the dishwasher. Was doing lots of mystery shopping so no time to call letting agent today. At least no helping at brownies tonight so the evening doesn't have to have XH in it which is good.

Pomegranatenoir Mon 18-Mar-13 18:17:14

oww I wouldn't like it and would talk to LM about it. Doesn't feel right for some reason - especially when you know she tried to stir things.

Can I have some viper advice too....

Mr Irish has been in touch this morning. He text saying he had lost his phone at work on sat and then found it today. Not sure if I believe him. He is showing as in what'sapp yesterday and then he was online last night at same time as me and didn't message. Admittedly I was only in there to see if he was.

What should I do? I think I want to meet him again because I'm not sure if I am letting my trust issues affect my future but then I really don't know if he is trustworthy or not! Please advise me. Feel like I have lost all of my judgement!!

KirstyWirsty Mon 18-Mar-13 18:29:19

Pom can whatsapp be used on a tablet or laptop ? I know tango can ...

KirstyWirsty Mon 18-Mar-13 18:30:30

Just checked and you can so maybe he can connect without his phone?

lubeybooby Mon 18-Mar-13 18:33:10

Pom I use whatsapp on my pc

I had to download an android imitator though to be able to do it. I expect some tablets may already have the android doodah on them so maybe it's that?

VelvetSpoon Mon 18-Mar-13 18:41:17

Western the thing is if he was spending ALL his free time with you, then yes you probably would seem like a jealous harpy. BUT you don't see much of him (for one reason and another) as it is, therefore he should realise its a bit of a kick in the teeth when he goes off and spends time with her. So yes definitely speak to him about it. And also arrange to do something together when she visits.

Pom werent you having second thoughts re Mr Irish anyway though? The phone thing sounds as though it mightnt be 100% true, esp if he was showing as on whatsapp (and if he could get on there from his laptop or whatever then why not message you?)...you could give him another chance of course, and see what happens, but if you're not that sure anyway, maybe its not worth it?

Can I just have a very quick (and ridiculously narcissistic and self indulgent) whinge? I apologise in advance!

Now of course this doesn't actually matter because I would far rather have C although whether that will happen is anyones guess BUT why is it that various blokes I've been interested in over the last year or so, all of whom binned me off in one way or another, are now in relationships with women who are honestly (and I promise I'm not overly flattering myself here, ) nowhere near as attractive as me?! I always assumed I wasn't quite pretty enough for any of them, clearly that wasn't it at all! was obviously my terrible personality instead

WarmFuzzyFun Mon 18-Mar-13 18:58:18

Because they are absolutely barking mad, Velvet, and they were intimidated by you, because they are inadequates, that's why.

OWW you have never come across as the jealous type at all, and I would be pissed off because the time he is available for you is limited and here she is, all bright and breezy with arrangements in her head and on fb which would driveme nuts. Do you really want to meet her? if you do meet her, you have to do it so that you and LM are the team, united front and meet her having just got out of bed together. Take no prisoners, an air of pity might be good and if its at LM's house, you being totally at home there and so on.

Bant I would just talk to her, she will probably appreciate you being upfront. You can always make it clear that it's all about being in her company and enjoying things together so you'd be very happy to get shown some local sites and so on not the inside of her apartment with her cooking.

Pom that ball is totally in your court but you didn't sound that keen before and that wasn't to do with feeling insecure but how he is and the way he behaved.

I have a date with gsm software man on Tuesday evening. He'd better liven up on the actual date, I think he might wear a tank top. Gsm2 has suggested Saturday pm but I'm tempted to ask if he's interested or not because he is either putting on an act, scared or being too 'releaxed'. VM is back from his travels and has been in touch so we'll see.

Pomegranatenoir Mon 18-Mar-13 19:20:39

He is calling me in half an hour....

What do I say??

OhWesternWind Mon 18-Mar-13 19:21:45

Velvet you are far too good for them and just way, way out of their league. You rock, they don't.

Pom nothing to lose by meeting him. But there were a few things you weren't happy about when you posted the other day. Maybe see how it goes, but have your eyes wide open here?

I'm not going to say anything at the moment, will wait til I see him. Hmm not sure I do want to meet her, I just know she's going to irritate the shit out of me, but it's the only realistic way forward I think. Will need a bit of psyching myself up! Think I'll ring him in an hour or so when children are in bed and have a chat. Going to see how things go with meeting up after this week - if still unsatisfactory, I will just say something but I hope it will sort itself out. I hate the feeling that I'm doing too much of the running, won't go down that road again.

OhWesternWind Mon 18-Mar-13 19:24:11

Juliette wow well it's all hotting up for you! Tuesday as in tomorrow?

Pom have you decided if you want to see him again?

Bant Mon 18-Mar-13 19:24:20

Pom - let him do the talking. He's the one who did a disappearing act. Other than that, ask how his weekend was and tell him how you were doing fantastically interesting stuff cos you're so fantastically interesting

Bant Mon 18-Mar-13 19:25:17

although the 'I couldn't call you over the weekend because I lost my phone my wife would overhear' is a bit odd

OWW when I said take no prisoners, I mean don't fall for the 'having a bad time' thing and view her as the enemy who must be eliminated. Whilst being wonderful at the same time of course grin

Pomegranatenoir Mon 18-Mar-13 19:34:19

Babt - he defo isn't married!! We have seen each other at all different times of day. He lost it at work in sat ten someone brought it back in today. Will defo let him do the talking though.

Stressssss. Would like to meet him again but don't want to be a doormat. What is dating site etiquette. We were 5 dates in, making plans for
Next few weeks and done the bedroom thing?? Am
I right to be pissed he was still online??

Bant Mon 18-Mar-13 19:43:47

Pom - there isn't one hard and fast rule. I think it's good to respect each other, although that generally isn't the case, but as so many people (men and women) play the field and can just disappear, then it's only to be expected people are still checking the site, dating other people, until you've had a talk about exclusivity. It's the same as real life dating except you can see when they're online...

Pom I would be pissed of yes, but maybe that's just me. A lot of people do stay around online for a while though. You have nothing to loose, meet up with him if you want to, take a long cool look at how he behaves with you then you can always decide what to do another time.

VelvetSpoon Mon 18-Mar-13 19:54:57

I don't get how I intimidate men, but it's not the first time I've been told that. It's weird because I am such a mass of overthinking insecurities most of the time smile Anyway it is very definitely their loss. And hopefully C's gain. Although I think I intimidate him a bit too...

Western I think waiting till you see LM to discuss it is good, and you do need to meet her, she will irritate the hell out of you I'm sure BUT I think it may well put her in her place a bit, which will certainly be no bad thing.

Pom I think Juliette's advice is great.

Flipper924 Mon 18-Mar-13 20:20:50

Well done, lovely vipers, I'm very proud of you all, and especially Lubey.

OWW, I agree that you should suggest all meeting up. You can easily do that under the guise of feeling sorry for her and wanting to befriend her properly yourself. If she doesn't have designs on LM, she will be keen on this.

OhWesternWind Mon 18-Mar-13 20:22:45

Velvet it's only the inadequates who will be intimidated by your glamour, intelligence and wit. Forget all the stuff going on inside - I bet you hide it well (like I do).

C'mon Pom, update!

Have had a drink which I don't generally do in the week, but I feel a bit calmer now. I'm going to phone him when I've packed dd off to bed.

There's one thread on here at the moment where lots of posters are encouraging the op to mention marriage after eight months. Bloody hell fire, I think I'm on a different relationship planet here. That's way too fast, but I'm thinking my relationship with LM is moving a bit slowly. Just want to spend a bit more time with him, get more involved in each others' lives.

Pomegranatenoir Mon 18-Mar-13 20:27:12

No call yet. This is what he text me as soon as I sent the message to him.

Yeah just jumping in shower now, give me 30 mins xx

Should I be calling him? Jeez - shouldn't be so complicated!!

OhWesternWind Mon 18-Mar-13 20:30:55

Oh I don't know, Pom that text is a bit ambiguous about who's supposed to be calling who! What was the previous message?

VelvetSpoon Mon 18-Mar-13 20:33:10

Western thank you blush Apparently people see me as confident and outgoing (I'm not at all!)

Marriage after 8 months is crazy tbh. Yes, there are people that whirlwind stuff works for, but after what happened to me with the evil Ex (accidentally pregnant after 6 weeks, ended up stuck with him for 8 years, at least 7 of which - after he showed his true abusive colours - were utterly miserable) there is no way I would rush into a serious commitment again.

Having said that, I can see why after that amount of time you would want to feel more of an involvement with LM, I think I would too, although at the moment I feel like expecting to see C once a week is akin to asking for the moon on a stick!

Pomegranatenoir Mon 18-Mar-13 20:33:38

I said yes had a great weekend thanks. You free to chat in a bit

Really cba with it all!!

MirandaWest Mon 18-Mar-13 20:35:55

OWW I haven't seen that thread but I've been going out with Mr Nice for nearly 11 months and no way would I be talking about marriage apart from in pleasant dreams but that's a little daft really We do see each other quite a lot but we're definitely not entwined so to speak.

OhWesternWind Mon 18-Mar-13 20:41:41

Pom I bet he's waiting for a call!

VelvetSpoon Mon 18-Mar-13 20:49:08

This is why I don't speak to people on the phone, far too confusing! Texts are safer smile even if you do have to wait several days for a reply

Bant Mon 18-Mar-13 20:52:24

Texts are safer but lead to much more confusion. I think you should take your relationship to the next level and call him. It's an intermediate step to seeing him more.

Pomegranatenoir Mon 18-Mar-13 20:56:52

I text "am I calling you or you calling me" 15 mins ago and no reply. Do you think he has fallen down the plug hole or is he avoiding me??!!

OhWesternWind Mon 18-Mar-13 21:09:36

Call him, Pom!

Have phoned LM. He sounds absolutely shattered. Seeing him Thursday - shop stuff tomorrow and Wednesday. Yay!!

Bant Mon 18-Mar-13 21:10:41

Pom. 4 dates in he should be falling over himself to be available, trying to impress and woo you.

I'd just tell him never mind. You had doubts and he's not exactly moving heaven and earth to make you feel better about things.

Pomegranatenoir Mon 18-Mar-13 21:18:38

He still hasn't called. No doubt he will concoct some wonderful excuse but I am not interested. Call or text...?

WarmFuzzyFun Mon 18-Mar-13 21:18:41

Pom he's making you do the running, he could have texted you. Be cautious at the same time enjoy. (WFF fence sitting)

Velvet I agreed with OWW, you are not intimidating, they are intimidated because they are inadequates, that I think is what I said (well, it's what I meant). You can't help it if you are devastatingly attractive and super intelligent, anymore than the rest of us can grin Bet you've been told 'you are out of my league' etc, we've all heard it too, must be the viper mystic eh?

Oh saw Teeth on Sunday. His teeth are fine a complete non issue. His 'teasing' is not though. Why do men do this? He says he likes me, then he is all 'I don't care what you do?' then he is 'I am only teasing'. He saying things in a way that I felt demonstrated an un-gallant attitude towards me 'Why are you on POF? You don't need to be on there, any man would love to take you out/be with you?[fuck off emoticon] Every time I pull him up on this stuff 'I am only teasing'

So I don't think he is suitable...

I have a couple other 'irons' in the fire...

Alittlestranger Mon 18-Mar-13 21:30:05

I'm frequently told I'm intimidating, including by men who have dumped me. I've also been told it by men who aren't interested sexually and women, so I think it's true. I also think it's got very little to do with whether anyone wants to stick around romantically or not. I'd love to be proved wrong though, but in my case I think it comes down to other factors. Now if I was intimidating and had big boobs I might be convinced otherwise...

VelvetSpoon Mon 18-Mar-13 21:31:29

Thanks WFF!

Good that Teeth's teeth were ok. The teasing sounds hugely annoying though, I don't think I could put up with that for long!

Western glad you have something arranged with LM smile

Text sent to C about Friday. Will possibly get a reply by Weds. I bloody hope its a yes, the sooner I see him, the sooner I can have the conversation, and find out whether or not I'm completely wasting my time...

WarmFuzzyFun Mon 18-Mar-13 21:35:18

His texts were like this all week prior to meeting up, and he was the same during and after the date. It made me feel insecure with him, RED FLAG. Why continue to do something that you've been told repeatedly makes the other person unhappy?

Now he tells me he really likes me etc..What, you've a funny way of showing it?

OhWesternWind Mon 18-Mar-13 21:39:45

WFF well, if you've told him you don't like it and he still carries on, that is pretty rude and arrogant. Next!

WarmFuzzyFun Mon 18-Mar-13 21:49:16

My thoughts entirely. It felt at times that he was enjoying making me unhappy pushing the 'joke' as far as he could then 'I am only teasing' wipes it all away.