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Why are so many people up at this hour? Thread 2

(1000 Posts)
izzyizin Sun 03-Mar-13 23:30:59

Previous thread:

This is what happens, jynier grin

Continue uninterrupted....

SummerDad Sun 03-Mar-13 23:32:25


xposted, i have also made another thread hehehe, lets continue this one and let the other one die its own death smile

I'm up! Missed the first thread so just going to make myself at home in this one like an unwanted squatter grin

SummerDad Sun 03-Mar-13 23:35:32

welcome SPsFanjoTheBigStickyHaribo. I am kinda excited to see this thread completing 1000 posts. hehehe

SummerDad Sun 03-Mar-13 23:37:53

I don't understand the limitation of mumsnet forum why is it not possible to edit the posts and delete them. I hope some veteran mners could shed a light on this. grin

I have no idea either! I always make mistakes on posts so been able to edit them would help a lot

cafecito Mon 04-Mar-13 00:01:30

think the logic is, it helps prevent cyber bullying etc

cafecito Mon 04-Mar-13 00:02:40


thank you izzy!!!

jynier Over heeeeerre!!!

welcome SPsFanjo

Welcome Spsfanjo waves madly at summerdad jynier sits near cafecito because she always has nice choclate at this time of night.

Oh yes thankyou izzy for the new thread

cafecito Mon 04-Mar-13 00:14:43

minimammoth, do you know what you're allergic to? scary

thank you for the assertion of normality we could do with some of that grin

kitty thank you for squeezes. sorry to hear about your friend. I think unfinished things are the hardest to resolve, things you never had the chance to say etc. Of course there's absolutely no way you could have known. I'm sorry to hear it affected youlike it did. squeezes from me too

well, I am up because I am eating muffins and doing some work for a lab session tomorrow morning that I am woefully unprepared for.

Went to a dance class tonight (had a month off) but so glad I went, left feeling bouncy and happier. earlier in the day I was on a train, thinking about someone who had died (cheerful I am) and hw I had known he was going to die, because he had been seen in a particular hospital department and my informant was working with his results, but despite knowing this, I never called him. sad and now I never can. Anyway I was pondering this fluid concept of life and death and how at the time, I was affected by my DD, so I didn't have much concept of this process being linear- when the guy on the train next to me said 'are you alright?'' to which I defensively said 'eh? yes yes fine just tired!'

I think I need more dance classes

cafecito Mon 04-Mar-13 00:16:19

hello stars so nice to hear about your weekend with dd2

<meanwhile, cafe fantasises about buxom kitty squeezes>

cafecito Mon 04-Mar-13 00:25:02

to fill you in, SP, we are a collective of insomniacs due to a variety of causes both intrinsic and extrinsic leading to MNing at silly o clock in the morning. we have a policy of total inclusion. kitty looks like a zaftig dita von teese. midwife is the best midwife in the land. so on and so forth. we advocate krill oil and all things purple. grin

grin agree with cafecito collective of insommniacs though we may look like a Borg in the morning

cafecito Mon 04-Mar-13 00:31:42

resistance is futile, stars grin

cafecito Mon 04-Mar-13 00:36:10

also, I overuse smileys and talk a lot about death but don't mean to offend anyone in doing so. sometimes I stay awake for nearly a week if I have exams or night shifts. This is NOT advisable. I then go awol while I morph into a zombie hybrid and reemerge after a week of recovery. I am not qualified to give medical advice please accept this exclusion of liability grin

summerdad is the original thread pioneer

stars has fascinating career history

(enough intro?)

cafecito Mon 04-Mar-13 00:37:35

I imagine izzy is blonde...

Still18atheart Mon 04-Mar-13 00:39:22

I'm a student it comes with the territory

Indeed cafecito hoping for a good sleep pattern this week dd2 has worn me out weekend grin though at min sat mn- ing while dp is watching crank2 oh god its so bad. The made for tv film on sy fy channal this afternoon was way better.

at least it had a storyline

ripsishere Mon 04-Mar-13 00:41:58

Hello, hello, hello. I am ripsishere, formerly kreecherlivesupstairs and I live in KL. It's morning time here, DD and DH have gone to school and I have the flat to myself.

Cafecito you do what my sister does goes for ages with little or no sleep then hides under the duvet for a month.

When I meet people I nearly always say that jezza could do a week special on me and still have loads left. grin

cafecito Mon 04-Mar-13 00:45:43

Hello KL! (shouts, so you can hear me) smile

still18 what are you studying?

stars- repeat after me, no tv... no tv.. it's the only way forward <unconvinced masses look on>

LittlePushka Mon 04-Mar-13 00:46:54

What is the average number of times you think;

"I really must go to bed" and is it more than

"Ach, go on... five more mins."

There is a difference you see - the former means you know you should be in bed not on your computooter, This makes you sad. The latter means you are deliberately breaking your self-imposed curfew. This makes you bad.wink

And why is there no yawn smiley ...

Lol cafecito ohhh maimi swat on now I might as well make a brew as my attempts of getting dp to make ( pathetic coughs ) hasnt worked

Waves to Rip what are you plans for today

Welcomes still18

ripsishere Mon 04-Mar-13 00:56:25

Plans for today include:
Going to pay for our health insurance
Going to the post office
Getting theshhets out of the washing machine ang hanging them on the balcony rail - not throwing one off like I did last week
Sweeping and mopping
Trying tp stop the suicide ants getting into the water resovoiur of the iron
Cooking some dinner
Finding out exactly what dates my parents rate coming to us for
phoning an agent about a new flat
Smoking as much as possible

ripsishere Mon 04-Mar-13 00:57:35

are coming
You get the idea. It's a rock and roll lifestyle I've got...

Beaverfeaver Mon 04-Mar-13 00:57:59

I can't sleep.

I never felt broody before but its come at me like a ton if bricks.

Tried bringing it up with DH a few times but its alway a bad time.

I found out today that BIL & SIL are expecting their third.

I am so pleased for them, but got a bit teary as I know deep down DH would rather wait until he was in his 30's. we are 27 btw.

Feeling sad and lost right now sad

ripsishere Mon 04-Mar-13 01:03:30

Aww, that's hard Beaver. Have you spoken to your DH about it? has he outright told you that's what he wants? I know it's not what you want to hear, but you do have plenty of time. I was 37 when DD was born.
In retrospect though, maybe I was a bit too old. She is approaching puberty while I am post menopausal. Hormones a gogo

Rock and roll Rip ( starts hand banging and doing a fab impression of the lead singer of KISS)

Beaverfeaver sending a nonmn hug ( you get them on this thread) someone will pop along with better expernice than me

Beaverfeaver Mon 04-Mar-13 01:06:23

I keep trying to bring it up, but its usually in the evening when he is busy or we are having to get somewhere

He said we will talk to tomorrow night

Last time we spoke about it was about 6 months ago when he told me he wanted to wait a good few more years

I don't feel I am in a rush yet, but I am ready now and want to be able to plan

cafecito Mon 04-Mar-13 01:07:09

beaver, sorry to hear you're feeling so low. Does DH know how you feel about this? it's all very well people thinking, oh you're only in your twenties.. but it's your life and your body. Sounds good that DH is not averse to children, just doesn't envisage them just yet. Have you thought about practicalities too, how you would be able to manage with a child if you had one now?

If it means so much to you, if it's completely heartwrenching for you, then he might be willing to see it from your side too. Relationships = compromise. Equally he may have legitimate practical reasons for waiting?

anyway, come and join us for a group hug. <passes tea and toast> ate the last muffin..sorryy...

Beaverfeaver Mon 04-Mar-13 01:10:55

Thanks for the tea. Will share around some of my crumpets too.

cafecito Mon 04-Mar-13 01:13:04

sorry x-posts

It's not all his decision, really. But equally if he really wants to wait - then you are still young. Fertility declines rapidly after 35 (I'm sure you know all this) It should be a compromise. But making an appointment.. hmm.. does sound like he's very busy.

My good friend, is doing the same course and career wise as me, and is all consumed by it. His girlfriend wants a baby. He does not, and he stresses out about it. His only reasoning though (he is about the same age as you btw) is that he thought '30s' was the done thing, because he wants to get his career in order first, and also because he says he wants to be there for the baby and to see the child growing up and be a 'hands on' dad and absolutely knoes he cannot do that at this stage in his life. He realises she'd be willing to do it on her own, but doesn't think it is fair on her or that she would be happy doing this.

could your DH feel similar? is he in a difficult position work-wise?

cafecito Mon 04-Mar-13 01:13:37

oh I LOVE crumpets - buttery crumpets.. mmm...

Crumpets ohhh i loves crumpets brings to table ginger nut and choclate biccys the choclate ones are from M n S you know grin

Beaverfeaver Mon 04-Mar-13 01:19:43

M&S biccies! Laverly smile

DH wants to wait 'til 30 just because he feels we should be doing more stuff whilst we have the money and can before babies arrive.

I don't see that we need another 3 years of that though.

He also is thinking of changing jobs, but has been saying that for over a year, so I'm not accepting that as a reason as it might not happen for a long time.

I also think its because none of our friends have children yet.

wem Mon 04-Mar-13 01:24:20

Hello insomniacs and forrin-land-ers. I am up because DD1 is sick. She's been throwing up any tiny bit of water she's drunk all day. And been sleeping in between times. So now she's not tired and whinging every 20mins that she doesn't want to sleep. And then puking again. So I'm waiting for the bedsheets I've put on to wash to finish so I can put them on to tumbledry so then we can change her bedding for the millionth time tonight.

I would very very much like to be asleep.

kittyandthegoldenfontanelles Mon 04-Mar-13 01:28:58

You all started without mewink Hmmm like the new home Izzy, very spacious. Thanks

Hi everyone and newiesgrin

<squeezes arabella cafe till she had to come up for air>

Excellent precis cafe, you just left out pontipine love.

minimammoth what an adventurous weekend shock Glad you are back to normal...was laughing concerned about your trout pout. grin Do tell what your allegen is.

I agree izzy is definitely blond.

SPsfanjo there was a hairy haribo at our singing group at the library on Friday; was it your namesake? Had a job keeping my daughter away from it. confused

rip no bag of sin on today's list? hmmmm? I'll bet there iswine

stars step away from the crap telly...

cafecito Mon 04-Mar-13 01:29:20

I agree beaver, there is a general consensus in 20somethings that 'children arrive in your 30s' or '30s is best age to have children' because, these days, this is when most people tend to have them (cannot cite my source for that)

but if you feel ready- and you are committed to one another - and seem rather settled and happy - then .... why wait...

He does have a point, as I had my first when I was really rather young and I have to say that I, in essence, felt a huge sense of loss - of a whole side of my identity- because there are so many things you cannot do when you have a baby. So many enormous life changes. Yet I doubt anyone here would say they regretted having their children. It's just not an easy ride.
So, in a way, if you enjoy going out, and travel, then yes it is sensible to really make as much of it as you can because there is no going back once babies arrive. I found even a trip to the dentist, was like a holiday, because it was time out from a screamy baby. I sound bad blush but I don't think the downsides are talked about much. It was like 'me' had died and been replaced by a changed version, who really couldn't do a lot of things anymore. Even going away - try being on a plane with a baby. Try sitting by a pool, or having dinner. Not easy. BUT if you have the support there (I did not) then you could perhaps tell your DH yes but we can still do x, y, z. It's only right he might need some reassurance that his life is not going to be 'over'. o you have friends or family who could look after the baby so you two can still go out together, or can go away for a while together? Then his arguments hold less strength.

cafecito Mon 04-Mar-13 01:33:04

kitty! hope DD is doing better now?

OH yes, pontipine love! and THE NUMBERS

and watch out for summerdad wink

izzy is blonde (possibly a darkish blonde) and has very very beautiful fine features

cafecito Mon 04-Mar-13 01:34:15

wem sorry DD is ill- exhausting!

jynier Mon 04-Mar-13 01:36:51

... lurking on here. Usual reason.

wem - children can't help being ill! Hope that DD1 is better soon!

beaverfeaver - seems as if your DH is making his views very clear. Perhaps you should start your own thread as you will receive the most excellent advice from MNetters who have shared the same experience.

Absolutelylost Mon 04-Mar-13 01:41:12

Just brooding after a horrendous row with DH. Well, I'm not dear to him. He wants to leave but I still love him, even though he's behaved appallingly for the last 6 months. We havent slept together since November and i miss the intimacy dreadfully, he wont touch me at all. He was away at the weekend and I behaved foolishly last night, swapping some flirtatious Facebook messages with an old flame, just because I wanted some validation and admiration. I deleted them from my phone, but they popped up on the iPad when he turned it on earlier. He says he couldn't care less but is being really nasty - I would like to think he is actually a bit jealous but it was a hideous nasty row... Am in bed now, he sleeps on sofa but feel really sick and stressed....the frustrating thing is that it was actually the first time (and will be the last) but he now is adamant it has been going on for ages. I just want us to stay together but I don't think we will and I am devastated.

kittyandthegoldenfontanelles Mon 04-Mar-13 01:42:17

hi beaver and welcome...

It's a tricky one I agree but may I put in my two penneth? I'm 38 and planning my second child and as my personal physician has already said, fertility drops (and potential complications increase) as you get to my age (thanks cafe hmm grin )

But my main concern is that it limits the amount of time that I will be around for my children. My parents are thankfully still here and are healthy and able to be here for me for good and bad times. It makes me very sad to think that my daughter probably, possibly, won't have that and I feel like she'll be alone in the world. sad Maudlin I know but something to consider when planning. If you have a choice (which I didn't) don't leave it too late. I know you are ready now, just thought this point of view could be put to your husband. smile

Had her first dd at 22 yrs lots of my friends had them in there family in there 30's I sometimes wish I waited but then some of my friends wish they had them younger. There is no right or wrong time like cafecito says life changes you do can do loads of things still.

Cafecito you have reminded of my dd 18mths old sitting on my tummy while I has getting my wisdom teeth shaved verlco baby couldnt see me so I had to get her out of her buggy to stop her crying.

Waves to kitty is your dd rehoming teddies tonight

kittyandthegoldenfontanelles Mon 04-Mar-13 01:48:20

waves back at stars Do you have hairy wisdom teeth?

She's currently slumbering but still on the boob. Will attempt a cot-wise put-down in a minute < giggling at the gorgeousness of rehoming teddies grin >

Brings in new pot of tea and extra cups for the newbies and Jamican ginger cake

cafecito Mon 04-Mar-13 01:51:34

absolutelylost here to handhold for you, nothing useful to say. I was ina relationship with no intimacy for ages and eventually it's only natural to seek some kind of validation elsewhere. facebook messages are kept on there forever aren't they, so if this is a one-off, you can show him your message history, if you want to. But if this separation has occurred so he's already sleeping apart and there is no intimacy then as you say there are obviously other issues sad hope you can resolve them, nothing is impossible.

kittyandthegoldenfontanelles Mon 04-Mar-13 01:51:48

wem sad. sorry about your poorly old? Have they vee. able to keep Dow. any fluids today?

absolutelylost sad sad sad oh I'm so sorry, what a chronic situation. I don't have any advice I'm afraid but we are here, someone is usually here, tag team style throughout the night smile

ripsishere Mon 04-Mar-13 01:51:55

Shaving wisdom teeth? my legs and armpits feel special if I sort those out.
Sin will be bought, if there is a Y in the spelling of the day, it normally is.
I am struggling to type ATM, I left a veg peeler in the sing last night, when I got up this morning, I swirled my hand around some nasty fetid water in the sink and pronged my self with the peeler. Two skinny cuts that hurt like fuck.

cafecito Mon 04-Mar-13 01:52:43

kitty I will add, to counter my previous remark, that my aunt had her first at 38 and her second -naturally- at 47 !

Kitty [grins] no I had widsom teeth that were growing towards the gum. Thought the denist might take them out but no he would shave them down with somthing looking like a from black and decker showcase in B n Q untill he got the nerve.!!!!

Told my dd about your dd Kitty she thought it was really sweet and asked if she did cute stuff like that.grin

kittyandthegoldenfontanelles Mon 04-Mar-13 01:53:22

ah, Jamaican jaminger cake, my husband's favourite wink

cafecito Mon 04-Mar-13 01:55:28

what is fetish water?

kittyandthegoldenfontanelles Mon 04-Mar-13 01:57:16

fetish water grin wink

kittyandthegoldenfontanelles Mon 04-Mar-13 01:57:57

you need some sleep, tiredeyeswink

Ouch rip have grated knuckles before
( goes off mumbling to self about dp not eating veg and so grated carrot into chilli )

Yes fetish water ?? Ohh thats a defo thing I wont goggle like dragon butter grin

Kitty jamican cake is the best smile

cafecito Mon 04-Mar-13 01:59:58

fans self, kitty winked at me

cafecito Mon 04-Mar-13 02:01:01

we have 600,000,000 alveoli.

cafecito Mon 04-Mar-13 02:02:55

I really love.. raspberry crumble.. my granny made a rocking raspberry crumble, and I wanted to ask her the recipe, but she was dying from cancer, and I couldn't ask because I felt it was insensitive like 'er I think you're about to peg it can you tell me the recipe please' I now wish I had asked. and she would have probably loved the fact I had asked. she loved making cakes and things. Jamaican cake has reminded me.

grin steady your self cafecito <hands towel to cafecito and marches her to tge bathroom fir a cold shower>

kittyandthegoldenfontanelles Mon 04-Mar-13 02:05:43

Daughter all better now thanks cafe (sorry you asked ages ago)

stars tee hee, I bet you had loads of lovely stories to tell her smile I'm glad you had a successful visit.

We realised today that my daughter thins that an elephant trumpeting is him trumping grin So funny. She does a lovely impression with trunk and everything hmm but she thinks it is from its bottom.

cafecito Mon 04-Mar-13 02:06:37

needs a cold shower! brain has shortfused. randomly posting random things from brain.

Raspberry crumble you say mmm sounds yummy. Had peach crumble ( mum thought she got out frozen apple from chest freezer) oh dear it was gipping we all sat round the table doing catsbum faces but had to eat it all.

Kitty she still remmbers when she was 3 and had a stay in hostpil ( cant spell it never have ) she had a septic knee and I got a heulim dolphin ballon to cheer her up and used to have to take it for walks around the childrens wards ( me carrying dd)

kittyandthegoldenfontanelles Mon 04-Mar-13 02:13:20

What's been going on while I was composing that text? confused blush

Pace yourself cafe it will be a long night wink

I know what you mean about the dying gran/raspberry crumble but these things should be passed down I think.

Right, we have successful cot put down here so. off for a bit...

I thought you said 6000000000 areola at first blush. tiredeyes here too

kittyandthegoldenfontanelles Mon 04-Mar-13 02:19:49

lovely helium dolphin walkingsmile It's important that they get their exercise these helium porpoises

jynier Mon 04-Mar-13 02:21:12

absolutely - Sorry for your troubles! You won't receive any constructive advice on this thread (we're all sleep-deprived nutters, as you have probably already noticed!). Suggest that you start your own thread but, FWIW, think that you should explore possibility of OW!

Absolutelylost Mon 04-Mar-13 02:26:34

Thank you, he has a 'friend' who was a good friend of mine, which makes it all the worse. Don't think they are having a sexual relationship but definitely very close. Don't think I can face a complete thread - not sure I am ready for robust responses! Just feel very sorry for myself.

Kitty yes very important.grin

cafecito Mon 04-Mar-13 02:34:42

I prefer jynier's precis kitty

when you feel strong enough for a thread MN will give you some brilliant advice. in the meantime, eat crumpets with us at 3am

Lostonthemoors Mon 04-Mar-13 02:36:03

Hi all - another late night stint with an ill 19 month old DS for me - currently being sick every 20 mins sad he's had norovirus already just before Xmas so it doesn't seem very fair.

Lostonthemoors Mon 04-Mar-13 02:37:07

The balloon sounds lovely btw

cafecito Mon 04-Mar-13 02:37:10

DD elephant trumping has made me smile (and she is very advanced to be elephant impression-ing at her age!) did you baby sign? DS loves his super elephant impression. Usually involves pants on the outside of clothes, charging around with an elephant trunk, declaring he is a super hero.

Lostonthemoors Mon 04-Mar-13 02:38:13

Lost sad and how you are ok

cafecito Mon 04-Mar-13 02:38:19

we have 30 trillion red blood cells, 25% of all the cells in your body = rbc

Lostonthemoors Mon 04-Mar-13 02:38:40

Sorry I meant hope you are ok - phone blush

Lostonthemoors Mon 04-Mar-13 02:39:25

That's a lot, cafe! Did you decide on a stereoscope colour in the end?

cafecito Mon 04-Mar-13 02:39:39

poor DS and poor you lost horrible to be so ill at such an age and totally draining for you too

Absolutelylost Mon 04-Mar-13 02:40:34

Just can't sleep - even white noise app of beach sounds not working today! I just can't accept that he doesn't love me any more...

cafecito Mon 04-Mar-13 02:41:20

yes went for 'ciel blue' kind of a violety blue shade, got it this weekend from a shop rather than online, as am never home at normal hours to get post, thus spent double what I should have. Happy with colour choice though!

Absolutelylost Mon 04-Mar-13 02:41:46

Wonder if I should phone Samaritans. Feel like I need to talk to someone...

cafecito Mon 04-Mar-13 02:42:43

Got shouted at the past few weeks for not having it so thought about time. They do a bright orange one, if I keep losing them, I will work up to the most neon hideous thing imaginable then will never lose it.

Lostonthemoors Mon 04-Mar-13 02:43:02

Oh lost sad {extends hand to hold}. I hope it won't come to that.

Lostonthemoors Mon 04-Mar-13 02:43:35

Sounds like a lovely colour!!

Who did shouting? V rude angry

cafecito Mon 04-Mar-13 02:44:24

08457 90 90 90 they will talk to you, or just listen to you absolutelylost

also, don't be scared of posting a thread here in relationships.

Absolutelylost Mon 04-Mar-13 02:44:27

I wouldn't hurt myself - just feel ashamed at myself and upset my DH will use this against me.

Lostonthemoors Mon 04-Mar-13 02:44:39

X posted with you, lost. Samaritans would very happily talk to you. And could you start your own thread as well?

Absolutelylost Mon 04-Mar-13 02:45:27

I've posted a thread before, twice, and the responses were just too firm for me!

cafecito Mon 04-Mar-13 02:45:51

the shouting was okay, because I felt alright when some person in my group actually wore his the wrong way around grin and then insisted he had it the right way around (and he was a final year !)

Abigail9580 Mon 04-Mar-13 02:46:16

Pop ciel blue, that's lovely. I got baby pink. Also very pleased with choice!
I guess I should introduce myself? Is that what is done here, you all seem very lovely. I'm awake at silly o'clock as I am lambing sheep.

Lostonthemoors Mon 04-Mar-13 02:46:31

Lost you know we all make mistakes. We can't get it right all the time. xx

Lostonthemoors Mon 04-Mar-13 02:47:35

Hope sheep are having lovely babies. I attended a lambing once many moons ago. Twas v visceral.

Cafecito love that ref your ds hehehe

My dd used to 'ground' her teddies for being naughty confused

also she would explain to great detail why said teddy is grounded and certin teddies couldnt sit next to other teddies on her bed because they fight at night which wakes her up and then she wake me up.

They gone swimming too ( she put them in the washing manchine) ok that not a problem but trying to keep a straight face when dd has hands on hips shouting at teddies in the washing manchine to

" kick your legs hugo keep kicking"

I would snigger so much though she denies this now

cafecito Mon 04-Mar-13 02:49:02

if he's looking for an 'out' then yes, but that's indicative of much deeper reasoning as you probably know. don't beat yourself up over it. it's not the end. even if you split, who says that's final. this is a life together and I truly believe relationships can go through some very awful patches and still comeout okay on the other side. my concern is how unhappy this is making you, and whether you should be considering if it is right for you.

Lostonthemoors Mon 04-Mar-13 02:50:10

Lost I never start threads here because you only ever seen to get ltb a lot of the time. Meanwhile, in the real world we are all muddling along being less than perfect and with dp who are the same. You can always post in chat instead.

Abigail9580 Mon 04-Mar-13 02:50:31

Stars that is seriously cute! You Dd sounds like she is full of positive encouragement!

Lostonthemoors Mon 04-Mar-13 02:51:33

Adorable Stars smile

cafecito Mon 04-Mar-13 02:51:43

hi abigail!! smile of course, it's lambing season! (altogether now.. awwwwww)

stars you have some lovely memories of DD she will be grateful for them I'm sure, sounds so sweet!

jynier Mon 04-Mar-13 02:52:31

absolutelylost - Please start your own thread and state that you are feeling fragile. MN royalty will be there to understand, guide and help you through your difficulties. Think that what you are experiencing from DH is called "hostile disengagement" but you really would benefit from help from very experienced posters. Good luck!

Abigail9580 Mon 04-Mar-13 02:54:06

Right off to be a midwife to a ewe who looks like she needs to be reminded how to breath! I'll be back in a little it.

Lost, i think cafe is right, you need to do what's right for you at this moment in time.

Lostonthemoors Mon 04-Mar-13 02:55:04

DS is now sleeping - and hadn't been sick for a whole 30 mins. Says quiet prayer and hopes small boy gets to sleep now.

Feel like such a bad mummy for taking him swimming earlier. He was miserable and shivery in the pool and now I know why sad in my defence he seemed ok before I took him

Lostonthemoors Mon 04-Mar-13 02:55:58

Good luck Abigail's ewe smile looking forward to hearing about new lambs v soon.

Lol shes 15 now Abigail but still rather cute but with doc martins and backcombed hair used to live near welsh border loved the lambing season though know its tieing for you. Still go baaa when vist my sister as she has three fields of sheep right by her house its fab

right my lovelys going to bed have to call angency in morning and beg for work.

Abigail9580 Mon 04-Mar-13 02:59:23

Well she's had one before I could get out if my chair ( bad midwife- I was distracted!) so I'll go and be more attentive for the next ones. She's having 3 you see! Then I need to feed Derek, James and Paula the orphan lambs baa-ing at my feet!! They are free to a loving home?!

Lostonthemoors Mon 04-Mar-13 03:02:59

Wish we had space - I would love a little lamb smile grew up near farms so used to feed the orphan lambs as a kid.

Imagine having 3 babies. No triplets here please, though it's a bit hard TTC when bf a toddler still seems to mean no cycle at all confused

Lostonthemoors Mon 04-Mar-13 03:10:38

No more sick so going to try a wee kip. Sleep well all those trying and have a good night all working drs, sheep midwives and other late night people.

jynier Mon 04-Mar-13 03:12:32

lost on the moors - I became pregnant twice while BF; each time when baby was 10 months old. Had normal periods while BF first baby - none at all when BF second child.

ripsishere Mon 04-Mar-13 03:34:01

Absolutely can you start a mini thread so yours doesn't get lost amongst the stethoscopes and lambs?
I'm in trouble at both ends now, finger and an eye full of curry noodle seasoning.

ripsishere Mon 04-Mar-13 03:36:27

I'd love asheep. It wouldn't be safe on floor 19 though, it would be safe from me eating it. I don't like sheep meat

UnderwaterBasketWeaving Mon 04-Mar-13 03:39:46

morning. Can I join in?

Non-sleeping toddler who doesn't get that we've all got to be up for work in 2 hours. Already been up 2.5 hrs.

Hoping this will jinx him to sleep.

Absolutelylost Mon 04-Mar-13 04:03:47

Thanks for your thoughts, have just come off the phone from a lovely lady Samaritan. Don't think I could face a thread of my own, even when I said I was feeling fragile I still got loads of LTB. I KNOW he's behaved awfully but I can't throw my marriage away as easily as he can...

BlueyDragon Mon 04-Mar-13 04:04:30

Morning all! I'm up because chemo and supporting drugs stop me sleeping. But it also makes me part of the Borg as I can be plugged into an iv any time, should you need to. Sadly I don't look like Seven of Nine though.

No lambs, please, Abigail, but where did you get the names for the orphans from? Sounds like a 1990s Radio 2 DJ list grin.

rips, curry sauce at both ends - yeowch!

Hope those with poorly DCs and "D" Hs/Ps are ok and getting some sleep.

jynier Mon 04-Mar-13 04:40:58

absolutelylost - think that you are in shock and need some TLC. I think that I posted on one of your threads (not completely sure). I love my XP very, very deeply but he doesn't care for me any more. In fact, I discovered that he was leading a double life for several years. I know what you are going through and am sending best wishes for the future. Wish that there was an "unlove" button in the brain!

BlueyDragon - so sorry about your illness. Are you in hospital? Hate those places! People tell me that chemo is awful. Sending very best wishes. x

MrsShrek3 Mon 04-Mar-13 05:28:38

aha. have been searching for this thread for 20 minutes blush
interspersed with mucho lurking elsewhere, obvgrin

MrsShrek3 Mon 04-Mar-13 05:34:14

looks like I turned up lateto the party, again wink

jynier Mon 04-Mar-13 05:56:57

MrsShrek - were you looking for something/someone in particular? Am afraid that my fellow "supposedly" insomniacs are lightweights who all went to bed ages ago!

BlueyDragon Mon 04-Mar-13 08:42:30

I'm not in hospital, thankfully, except as a day case - they can send me home with special pumps thanks to the Borg port. One of the side effects is rubbish sleep though sad. Thanks for the good wishes though, it's always nice to get the cheering on!

Morning MrsShrek.

kittyandthegoldenfontanelles Mon 04-Mar-13 09:12:25

morning allsmile
welcome to blueydragonborg. I'm sorry you are ill and having to undergo chemo. What a rotton thingangry sad You are welcome here. thanks

Congratulations Abigail on the successful birth of your lamb (slurp)blush . Are you actually a farmer or do you have another job and own a few cheggers sheep?

absolutelylost I'm glad you had a positive chat with the Samaritans, that's good news. How are things this morning? I think it's commendable that you don't want to give up on your marriage. Please don't think you aren't welcome on this thread. thanks

Well after I went to Ned st 2ish I started to feel immensely sick and my tummy was bubbly then I became freezing cold. This lasted over an hour but I wasn't sick or anythingconfused then it just went rely quickly and I fell into a deep sleep. my daughter thankfully slept till 8.15 so I caught up and feel fine this morning confused

kittyandthegoldenfontanelles Mon 04-Mar-13 09:26:36

wem and lostonthemoors how are your children this morning? smile I hope you all ended up with some rest.

stars any luck on the work front this morning? smile

jynier I'm not a so called insomniac grin I go on mumsnet when I'm feedingy daughter, otherwise I'm asleep smile

cafe ah lovely cafe, o take it your silenc means you slept? Or are you still in the cold shower? hmm Yes I do sign with her but I do BSL as it is what I know. Is it advanced? I don't know about child development. Some people have told me she is in some aspects of her development though, like 'small world play'. Love your son's super hero elephant. Our two should get together and take over the world grin bear

kittyandthegoldenfontanelles Mon 04-Mar-13 09:37:44

Cripes underwaterbasketweaver how are you feeling this morning? sad

lost I've got the same breastfeeding a toddler/trying to conceive problem although actually getting round to having sex might help wink

wem Mon 04-Mar-13 10:50:59

Thanks Kitty, didn't get much rest though, no. DD1 stopped being sick but having spent most of yesterday in bed she decided she wasn't tired any more and continued crying every 15/20 mins or so through the night sad.

She's much better now, has eaten and had water without it coming back up. She's asleep again now though, v tempting to leave her but don't want to risk a repeat performance tonight.

kittyandthegoldenfontanelles Mon 04-Mar-13 11:47:57

I know what you mean wem. There's a balance to be met between giving in to the poorly lethargy and getting oodles of recuperating sleep and ending up with a day/night reversal. How old is she? Sorry if I've missed that. Are you having to juggle work too?

wem Mon 04-Mar-13 12:11:21

No, luckily I'm a SAHM, so no work juggling. DD1 is 4. The last time she was ill like this she slept for practically the whole 24hrs so we thought we were safe letting her sleep this time. She's up now, a bit grumpy bur with much more colour in her face smile.

MrsShrek3 Mon 04-Mar-13 12:45:08

lol @ lightweights grin

kitty, hope Ned was nice wink (sorry)
<lowers tone and runs>

Minimammoth Mon 04-Mar-13 13:39:21

Got lost. And spent the night sleeping. My allergy, lordy lordy, it baffles me. I think tomatoes, potatoes, nightshade family, which I try to avoid, but sometimes despite being sooooo good, I have had nothing and get a reaction. I suspect additives in some food might do it. It never happens immediately, usually at night. My 'duck lip' is an amusement for manygrin

Afternoon all no work as of yet sigh kitty

Minimamouth hope you are feeling better i get lumpy ( nuclear go to hostpil lumpy) they reckon I have so much stress that now my body is allegric to it sigh.

Hello Mrs Shrek yes I was a lightweight last night
went to bed at 3amish up at 8 but snuggled back to bed till midday waiting for work.

Blueydragon sending good vibes to you

For all with poorly dc sending get well vibes.

Midwife99 Mon 04-Mar-13 14:50:43

Hello! Sorry I erroneously started a new thread!! grin

Hope you are well midwife smile

Midwife99 Mon 04-Mar-13 17:33:16

It's all come to a head for me the last few days. Parents (stately homes thread) teenage son (troubled teens thread) & DH. I'm sick of the lot of them!! I feel like a punch bag in the middle they can all take their shit out on!! No more!!

Midwife99 Mon 04-Mar-13 17:41:23

But I'm sure some orphan lambs would cheer me right up Abigail!!! PS I want to be a farmer midwife too!!!

SummerDad Mon 04-Mar-13 18:06:47

Blimey, first day at the new thread and we are already on post count 133. Midwife I have plans to retire to some little farm house with a big barn conversion, one of those dreams grin. It is really sad to be treated by your near ones like this, midwife.My best wishes are with you.

SummerDad Mon 04-Mar-13 18:09:53

For some reason even my thoughts get a bit convoluted when i am typing on the phone, may be I can do only thing at a time, type with my fat fingers or think hehe.

Hello. <flops down into thread> back from Florida today, I see you filled the thread! Congrats Summerdad and cocoa all round. Off to bath DS and go to bed, will no doubt be up in the night to read through this one, feel like zombie at the moment, been up for 30ish hours zzzzz

Sending choclate to midwife and ((()))

SummerDad Mon 04-Mar-13 20:52:09

who is ((())) starsandunicorns wink

Midwife99 Mon 04-Mar-13 21:03:15

Yum yum!!! smile

Hehe Summerdad shhh it a hug very non- mumnetters

No work today sigh so sat watching end of the world film on syfy while dp does war commdar on fb

SummerDad Mon 04-Mar-13 21:29:17

blush sorry for the ignorance starsandunicorns, you know I am just a squatter in mumsnet grin.

No need to apolizsed Summerdad I can only read text spk due to dd grin

Now have a image of Summerdad as a rocker chained to mumnet towers chanting I shall not move grin

kittyandthegoldenfontanelles Mon 04-Mar-13 21:46:54

oh midwife sad. That's so rotten. I'm so sorry that you are finding unhappiness in so many of your relationships. I don't know how to help or what to suggest I'm afraid, only that you deserve better. sad

kittyandthegoldenfontanelles Mon 04-Mar-13 21:57:12

MrsShrek Ned was lovely thanks grin norty

stairs welcome back smile I was wondering when you were due back. Do tell all...where did you go? what did you do?

SummerDad Mon 04-Mar-13 21:57:30

I really laughed out loud at your comment stairs smile. I joined mumsnet in a dormant mode when my son was born two years ago and have been lurking around since then to get every possible bit of advice about kids. I only became active here last December when I was at my lowest, mnetters have been fabulous really, so yeah your imagination is spot on I shall not moveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee !!! grin

Links arms with Summerdad grabs Kitty for good measure grin

kittyandthegoldenfontanelles Mon 04-Mar-13 22:20:47

yaygrin where are we going?

Wished mumsnet was about in 95 only got the internet in 2004 and only got here last spring

Kitty we part of Summerdads squatter crew grin

^ puts on very old top gun bomber jacket a grabs a gettoblaster and baseball cap ^

SummerDad Mon 04-Mar-13 22:55:14

Feeling a bit self conscious now as I seem to be the only male squatter here grin.

kittyandthegoldenfontanelles Mon 04-Mar-13 23:00:18

Are we going to scale a building? I might ladder a stocking. hmm

<borrows combat trousers from from stars>

Climbing I.can do but absailing down oh no I cant do that.( dp used to jump out of airplanes for FUN !!! )

Think we should sit on comfy chairs to be a squatter I will bring flask of tea whos bringing the naice ham sandwichs

kittyandthegoldenfontanelles Mon 04-Mar-13 23:08:43

I will. I'm a ham expert. yum. I'll bring some nature of homemade cake too. Any preferences?

Ive abseiled a few times.

Time for some shut eye for me.

Dont own combats Kitty but have spare army lightweights ( bet kitty is going off google them ) and can shoot a gun too

Midwife99 Mon 04-Mar-13 23:08:46

Can I come? I'm starving!!! Don't worry Dad - being the token male is always fun! Thanks Kitty!! thanks

Oh yes midwife you must come you being our hippy< hands midwife a bunch of flowers > for midwife to place in police riot gear

Ohh kitty yes choclate cake ginger cake

Midwife99 Mon 04-Mar-13 23:19:10

Chocolate cake please (gluten free)!!! grin

kittyandthegoldenfontanelles Mon 04-Mar-13 23:28:31

spoke too soon.

er aren't combats and lightweights the same thing? Had an affair with a bloke in the RMR many, many years ago. many.

<starts list of cake ingredients>

Hi THE midwife smile

kittyandthegoldenfontanelles Mon 04-Mar-13 23:42:58

When I say affair I mean love affair not in the common parlance blush

We were both very single.

Kitty combats are thicker material if brand new they are slighty water proof in that water can bead off them ( remmbers ctawling through very puddles on exeuise with my brand new ones ) though after a couple of washes that seems to stop plus combats have a extra linning up to the knees for warmth. They are in camflage colours.

Leightweights are olive green in colour thin cotten used mostly when doing normal work duties depending on your trade.

you wear them with green shirt and jumper and boot. You use twists or elesatic bands to make them look tidy over your boot.

If you work in a office or on a course you wear barrack dress

( if in army jail you dont wear twists or your beret)

Ohh kitty RM are hard core hehe

I had cough "fun" with a green jacket once blush

kittyandthegoldenfontanelles Tue 05-Mar-13 00:08:01

Wow there's a lot to it then... a trained eye would know what's what and who's who.

I will try to do a few links to show you

Though feel ever old as I joined the
W.R.A.C ( You did the same work as the men in your trade but you had differnt uniform and a green beret with differnt capbadge ) they were disbanded in 92 so depending what trade you were you joined that trade ie

You were a cook you became part of the Army Catering Corps

then in April 93 if you were a cook,postie,stores,driver who joined The RLC.

kittyandthegoldenfontanelles Tue 05-Mar-13 00:38:09

What was your trade?

Oh i like hearing about all your cool jobs with lambs humans etc. I work for HMG so can easily bore on about laws and legislation if you like? No? No takers really? grin. Hi kitty, we were at Disneyworld for two weeks, fab sunshine and lots of swimming and walking. I made a resolution when there that i would be sorting out my fitness and diet on return, am out of shape and need to make it a priority. How is the boobmonster? Have read through the thread now, Trying to assimilate in Borgish manner smile

i would like coffee and walnut cake please. Or actually i had a lovely toffee apple cake once. Was filled with apple jam, and thick toffee icing. Yum.

cafecito Tue 05-Mar-13 00:48:35

So jealous Disneyworld.. sunshine.. affairs

cafecito Tue 05-Mar-13 00:49:19

carrot cake please!!

yy affairs, where they pursue you romantically with staring and flowers and that dippy stomach feeling cafecico! smile speaking of which watched Anna Karenina on the plane out it was a wonderful film, made me cry!

cafecito Tue 05-Mar-13 00:53:57

themidwife sorry to hear about your difficulties. I used to contemplate venturing onto the stately homes thread (I had a completely deranged mother) but never have, because I try and bury it under other stuff, but every so often you realise that actually, they've totally f*cked you up-

I've had therapy since I was a child (age 8)- I have this severely critical inner voice, directly resulting from my mother, all these totally abnormal set beliefs, all because of her, and also I believe I repeated my relationship with her, in my relationship with my exP. (abusive, controlling, etc)

It's only now, that I can stand back and say 'my god my 'issues' are all related to one another, and I can see how I have interlinked them all stemming back to events that happened before I was even born..

I don't blame her... but I know we will never get on, to the point where we cannot be in the same room for more than an hour.. and she often tells me she wishes I had died at birth hmm totally mad, abusive, horrible, family background.

I think it can easily repeat in other aspects of life, Jungian-style..

gosh I am not selling myself am I, sound completely nuts grin

kittyandthegoldenfontanelles Tue 05-Mar-13 00:54:02

oh coffee and walnut is a given as that's my favourite too. Slurp. grin

I need to overhaul my fitness too... I've made a start as I haven't had anything naughty tonight yet

The boobmonster is still boob obsessed, still gorgeous, still funny and currently asleep so I'm going to join her. No doubt I'll be back later. smile

Glad you had a cracking time stairs

i liked the sound of the stethoscope colour you chose, cafe. Violet blue. Lovely.

cafecito Tue 05-Mar-13 00:57:42

Hmm there's a rather dashing ex RM chap on my course... had a thing.. it's over blush

I had to join the RLC

Our nickname in the forces was stamp lickers

cover runs to bunker and hunts for NBC outfit

Stairs mega jealous of your hoilday

Waves to Cafecito and asks what nice treats do you have this eveing

Runs for cover ( fat fingers on a tiny phone keyboard

cafecito Tue 05-Mar-13 00:59:16

no such thing as oversharing

I have.. been a bit of a fattie... had frozen yogurt with cinnamon apple topping and some more chocolate [oink]

midwife, is there any way you can get away by yourself for a bit? leave a move maybe saying you have run away from home and take yourself off to nice cheap b&b walk along the beach for 2 days and just get some breathing space? My fantasy escape is the night sleeper to penzance, and st ives for 3 nights. If only!

trinn Tue 05-Mar-13 01:06:18

I'm up because I'm unwinding from work........
Plans for today include school run then nothing all day

cafecito Tue 05-Mar-13 01:06:37

nothing more therapeutic than walking along a beach by yourself in the pouring rain in the evening

cafecito Tue 05-Mar-13 01:06:49

tried and tested

Cafeito I have a mother simlar to you but too scared to do that thread.

I had a threapy session via mind. The guy just looked at me with a head tilt !! When I replied to his question of did you.have a imaginy friend as a child

Me : yes and I still chat to him

My sister howled so much she fell off the sofa !! sister has lots of talk sessions with phyiscarits

What type of choclate did you eat cafeito

Welcome trinn smile

riamay2011 Tue 05-Mar-13 01:13:18

2 x crying babies sad sooo tired x

cafecito Tue 05-Mar-13 01:25:52

welcome trinn

I had an imaginary car, stars. It was a yellow austin 7. I spoke to him. was green & blacks almond chocolate. They really need to stop the promotion in waitrose right now, it's making me fat grin. It's so bad though - I have eaten just sugar today. and had 3 coffees. coffee + sugar. day in day out for about a month now. blush

ria 2!? twins? how old?

cafecito Tue 05-Mar-13 01:28:51

I minimise contact with my mother and if it weren't for DS it would be no contact. It's just very odd with her. She has done everything opposite-ly with my sister though, so it's like I was the failed run and the sister has had the opposite treatment the whole way along. My grandparents had to call SS to try andprotect me when I was very small she was an alcoholic, violent, lunatic. Better now I think. I don't drudge it up at all - but it actually seeps into my life incipiently without my awareness until I stand back and realise, eh, that's why I think the way I think.

Therapy can help - but only in the past year did it make sense to me why I thought in certain patterns

cafecito Tue 05-Mar-13 01:31:41

read something the other day that said ''the way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice''

I can understand Cafecitio its hard I found up to only a couple of years ago that I constantly did decsuions that I thought mother would approve of. So sad ref your childhood. I had a smothering one every procted on a bubble geeze I didnt even know other children had grandparents till someone said juniour school they went to see theres at the weekend.

Sercets were my mothers downfall and when I found 2:5 yrs ago it gave me a exuse to leave her grip iykwim.

Havent seen her for nearly two yrs. Still getting my head round the betrayal.

Would love to have more therpay but cant afford it.

Totaly understand when someone says somthing or does something and you say or think like your mother dam thats scarly

Well we had a massive homemade cooked breakie with 2 large mugs of tea for our dinner. Think I have made a brew for me n dp every forty mins since midday.

Penny sweets are my achilkies heel though.
< eyes up dds left behind lovehearts sweets that are sat on the side of the sofa looking rather lost and lonley >

jynier Tue 05-Mar-13 02:17:30

... Hi! ...

Morning jynier how are you

ripsishere Tue 05-Mar-13 02:25:39

Hello.Morning, evening, nighttime whatever it is to you.
I am fed up with the heat, it's around 34 already, ridiculous humidity, I am getting too many hot sweats and I've got a tooth access. I need to go to the clinic to get some ABX, but the only ones that will work mean you can't drink sad.
I am going to a wedding on Friday so my artful plan is to only have a three day course <wish I was in Bangkok where you can buy them at the petrol station>

Hi rip, its a frosty night here in London, so am a bit jealous of your 34 degrees. Where are you? Hope you have a pool/sea handy. Just got up and made marmite toast and tea for me and DS, we read for a bit and now he is going back off. Hi Jyner! How are you doing?

Hi rip toothach is the worst hope its sorted by friday. Dont think I could cope in that heat. I would need to be permantly sitting in a bath of icecubes slurpling blue slush puppies

jynier Tue 05-Mar-13 02:40:59

Have been lurking on here all evening; find it so sad that some of you do not have good relationships with your mothers! I didn't, either, but found that it made me determined that my DCs wouldn't go through the same experience!

Had a great time today, as usual, with my GC - I absolutely adore them!!!

Am fine when I am with them but, once I am back home, all the sadness wraps itself around me once again. Very painful anniversaries are coming up; they don't make any difference to the awful grief but makes me aware of how long it has been since I have seen my darling loved ones. Would love them to walk in now!

Sorry to be so maudlin.

Bakingtins Tue 05-Mar-13 02:49:02

Isn't Mumsnet great - even at 2.45am, people are chatting. I'm up because I'm in the middle of MC no 3, in pain, can't sleep.
Raided the medicine cabinet for a lemsip (only form of paracetamol I can find, still can't quite bring myself to crack open the 'bru'fen until what I suspect is confirmed.
Will have to be up with brave face on it tomorrow as have school run and toddler to entertain, without his normal swimming lesson to tire him out. Have not had any sleep so far tonight and am distrubing DH with my tossing and turning so have got up for a bit.

jynier Tue 05-Mar-13 03:00:55

BT - how absolutely dreadful for you! Surely you should be having medical assistance?

Best wishes

cafecito Tue 05-Mar-13 03:03:00

rip is in kuala lumpur - imagine it's a stifling 34. sorry for the toothache

jynier - don't apologise- I find it strange, don't know if you find the same, how in one second it seems like only yesterday that they were still here, and then you realise how long it has been and can't believe it... and then another second, it feels like a distant dream, unreal. I find the concept of time very weird when it comes to losses lke that. sometimes it's only yesterday, sometimes it's painfully long ago and frightening that 'forgetting' is a potential.

cafecito Tue 05-Mar-13 03:05:31

oh bakingtins so sorry to read your post sad thanks thanks thanks here to handhold a bit

decided to not sleep at all tonight, can't keep missing lectures or labs and need to 'reset' my clock. loads of work to do, but plan for tonight is to completely sort out my apartment. am currently cleaning my floor in kitchen and living room. and MNing. and messing about on itunes.

ripsishere Tue 05-Mar-13 03:13:03

(((for those in pain))) both psychologically and physically.
I am off to teach my 'fugees. I enjoy it once I get there, but can't be arsed driving half an hour to be met by the blank face of the woman who runs the centre.
I've been doing it for a couple of months now, but she seems surprised to see me every single Tuesday and Thursday.

Handholding too

cafecito did you make it too the lab today

Bakingtins Tue 05-Mar-13 03:24:15

What do you teach, rip?

Tubegirl Tue 05-Mar-13 03:26:58

Morning <blinks and yawns> how nice to find others awake with me. New to this time of the morning! Cot put down epic fail, now sharing bed with 3 month ds who is practicing arm flailing (most important life skill) and frog style leg kicking. Every time I look at him he beams at me as if to say thanks for getting me up to play!

jynier Tue 05-Mar-13 03:27:54

bakingtins - how are you feeling? Surely, you should be in hospital!

cafecito - thank you for your kind post; you've put it in a nutshell but 'forgetting' will never happen! I remember my brother being born and am so sad for him and his family that he was taken so cruelly and so quickly. Believe that he was not treated properly by the NHS initially.

ripsishere - hope that you feel better soon.

Bakingtins Tue 05-Mar-13 03:30:31

Better to brave it out at home, there's nothing they can do. Have actually ended up in hospital previous times but keen to avoid if at all possible.

Welcome tubegirl arm flailing is indeed a important skill. Once learnt it is practiced to become part of the tranture dance.

Would you sniff babys head ( misses head sniffing you cant do it when they are 15 yrs old as you get strange wtf are you doing mum looks >

jynier Tue 05-Mar-13 03:36:00

8bakingtins* - I completely disagree with you; if you were my daughter, you would be in hospital by now!

Take care of yourself and hope that you can get some rest! x

Tubegirl Tue 05-Mar-13 03:40:30

Hi Starsandunicorns, sniffing head now, smells slightly of baby shampoo and is very soft on nose. <gets lost nuzzling for a minute>. Know what you mean dd is 4 and superindependent (except when ill) so no headsniffing to be had there. Someone told me boys more cuddly but don't know if that's an urban myth?
Bakingtins- so sorry am in ignorance as to what MC is. Doesn't sound good sad

Awwe thankyou tubegirl

i dont have ds but my dd2 was a velrco baby/ toddler/ small child.

Tubegirl Tue 05-Mar-13 03:47:46

<has amusing picture of starsandunicorns dd2 running and jumping at her in velcro suit and sticking -reminds me of vecro suits on The Apprentice>

Tubegirl Tue 05-Mar-13 03:53:58

Decision time - ds has fallen asleep mid flail. Do I attempt another cot put down or do I sleep in his cot (not really) and leave him where he is. side thought - interesting just how much room a baby can take up in bed.

Sounds about right Tubegirl more so when new shoes were brought didnt want to dirty them by putting them on the floor and WALKING.

She was so good at clinging on that i didnt need hold her ( long legs were like superglue to my hips) most of the time she just wanted cuddles.

Though loved her stroking my ears to go to sleep.( but not in tesco when doing the weekly shop)

Babies are programed to sleep star shaped fact.

Now go and get some sleep yourself. We all be here at somepoint tonight smile

jynier Tue 05-Mar-13 03:59:08

MC = miscarriage

Tubegirl Tue 05-Mar-13 04:05:43

Thanks jynier. Still getting used to mn jargon. Oh that's awful, been there couple of times myself. Much to be said for brave facing and carrying on, it sort of helps to be busy.

jynier Tue 05-Mar-13 04:21:29

Am I the only person on here who thinks that BakingTins should go to hospital? She may have a very heavy bleed or an incomplete mc which could lead to dreadful complications! Good grief, I am lost for words ... !

cafecito Tue 05-Mar-13 04:31:55

generally, heavy bleeding = A&E
pain, abdominal or shoulder = A&E

light bleeding = go to EPU as early as you can, or go to GP as early as you can, whilst monitoring it using only pads at home

really depends on individual circumstances and gestation

'expectant management' is often advocated, and usually less stressful for the patient

though of course early medical advice is always necessary- and mynadvice would be, to err on the side of caution and go to hospital.

But yes a lot of people find it better to manage it at home, as long as they are well aware of symptoms and are also monitored medically afterwards to ensure no complications.

cafecito Tue 05-Mar-13 04:34:12

^that only applies to early pregnancy though. But yes many people do prefer to manage it at home rather than monitoring in a hospital environment. If possible though, would always be best to get to an EPU as soon as any symptoms arise.

bankingtins hope you are okay x

kittyandthegoldenfontanelles Tue 05-Mar-13 04:56:23

oh bakingtins sad sad thanks thanks I'm so sorry for what is probably happening to you. Are you still there or are you managing to get some rest? Doubtful but I hope you are catching a bit of rest before you have to get up with your toddler.

kittyandthegoldenfontanelles Tue 05-Mar-13 05:08:14

cafe I'm horrified that your mum would say she wishes you had never been born.sad I can't imagine anyone could say that to their beloved child sad sad I'm so glad you had your grandparents.

I hope our themidwife is getting some sleep.

absolutelylost are you out there tonight? smile How are things?

wem how was your day in the end? I'm sorry I didn't manage to get back to you this morning; had a sleepy refusnik here. How is your daughter now. Are you both a slumber?

jynier I'm glad you had another burst of respite from your grief. How many grandchildren do you have?

kittyandthegoldenfontanelles Tue 05-Mar-13 05:13:45

cafe I totally missed the stethoscope debate. How did that happen? Sound like a lovely choice and would be perfect lying proudly against a chocolate brown suit

<imagines arabella in such a get-up>

What happened to your sugar and crap embargo? None of my business but you asked us to remind you. grin

How's your kitchen floor...sparkling?

kittyandthegoldenfontanelles Tue 05-Mar-13 05:17:57

rip you are teaching Wyclef Jean and Lauryn Hill? Are they good students? Superstar teacher grin

Get some antibees down your neck and stop being naughty grin You can still smoke after all hmm

You can buy them at the garage in Bangkok? Wha? shock

Midwife99 Tue 05-Mar-13 06:57:03

Morning all - sorry I missed it!!
Baking tins, if you're in early PG you are better at home lovely but if you start to bleed v heavily or severe pain go to A&E. I would still have a chat with EPAU when they open though.

Cafe - so sorry for what you went through. My inner voice is "but you are ONLY a child" ie no rights or valid feelings of your own. There's loads more crap but my story is on Stately Homes if you want to join us for support. I am currently trying to be no contact with my parents although they are pursuing me. I've now blocked their email address & unplugged the landline & don't answer my mobile!!

The reason things have come to a head is that I've stopped allowing people to manipulate & abuse me. I don't need to go away - I live alone with my two young DDs in our little fortress so we're fine smile

Thank you Kitty & Cafe for calling me "the midwife" - it makes me feel all proud & special!!!

How was the cake everyone? It sounds like Dad fell asleep on the job!! grin

Midwife99 Tue 05-Mar-13 07:02:53

Hello Rip - sorry about your toothache! I'm a frustrated traveller so love to hear about other places - what's Kuala Lumpar like? And the Fugees - wow are they still together?!! grin

Jynier - how you feeling now? Yes it is sad so many of us have failed relationships with our parents - unfortunately I have a failed relationship with my 19 yo DS too so feeling a bit of a middle generation failure!! Are you feeling more able to talk now?

Hey Stars - how is your DS? Marmite on toast in the middle of the night? He is a fully fledged member of this thread!!!!

Right - off to sniff babies' heads work!!

ripsishere Tue 05-Mar-13 07:19:37

grin at 'fugees being still together. My lot were changed today. I had seven 7-11 year old children being taught science. I was english, but my London accent had a lot confused...
Managed to get to a doctor and now have a course of ABX, I intend to stop taking them on Friday morning ready for the big do...
IMO and experience, you know what do do in the event of a MC. I had lots, the only one I went to hospital for was number 9 which was 22 week. Sorry for your loss baking tins.

MrsShrek3 Tue 05-Mar-13 07:35:32

ello - just catching up. I lurked a bit last night til 2 ish when decided to bore myself to sleephmm
re mc - also had numerous. the ones i managed at home with gp support were far less stressful than the hospital variety. just

kittyandthegoldenfontanelles Tue 05-Mar-13 07:36:02

Sorry for yours too rips. I can't imagine having to go through that even once let alone time after time sad

kittyandthegoldenfontanelles Tue 05-Mar-13 07:37:03

oh Mrs you too sad

ripsishere Tue 05-Mar-13 07:43:48

It was aaaaggggeeess ago. Tis fine, we have a child which is more than others do.

kittyandthegoldenfontanelles Tue 05-Mar-13 07:53:07

true dat. smile

Minimammoth Tue 05-Mar-13 08:08:01

Just a quick catch up before getting on with the day. Wanted to send hugs, not bothered whether mumsnetty or not, to all struggling with various trials.

BlueyDragon Tue 05-Mar-13 08:14:58

Morning all.

I managed some decent sleep last night despite DS insisting his heart wasn't well and he needed to be sick in a bowl and watch some TV at 5 am. Soon stopped when he realised Mummy wasn't falling for that one grin. He's so cute with it all though, which is probably just as well.

So sorry for those who've had losses - bakingtins, are you ok? - and toxic families. I have to admit to feeling lucky, others have so much more to deal with all the time.

Off to look at schools for DCs this morning, although in my chemo cooked state the schools will probably blacklist us.

Now I am hungry for cake - a nice ginger cake would be lovely, or I think something with apples was mentioned earlier?

kittyandthegoldenfontanelles Tue 05-Mar-13 08:31:33

Morning bluey, mini et al smile

Actually I'm off to bed again as I've been up since 4 (having got to bed at 1shock ) My daughter was chatting and pointing and giving me kisses and cuddles. Similar to yours though bluey, hard to get annoyed when they are just so yummy smile. Hope you are feeling well today blueyborg smile

themidwife have a good day at work with all those lovely, crumpled snufflies smile

Gosh lots of smilies. They are just so close at hand on the app though grin

see? confused

they're just there hmm wink

Eveing all (()) to all hope you are all doing ok

cafecito bet your flat is gleaming

Bakingtins how are you doing

Summerdad sleeping on duty tsk tsk hehe

Kitty sounds that you got some zzz last night
Waves to all others I have placed choclate cake, ginger nut biccys and gin on the table for you all.

I try to pop in later 1 or 3 ish as I have just been called to work this minute 8pm till 06:30am might not get to log on as they have spilt the 40 min break into 2 20 mins breaks so not much time to get a sit down ( stand all night) and need to woof my sarnies down and smoke a few ciggies and have a drink ( no drinks on the floor)

sigh going to be a long night as leg is hurting so will be chomping on codine

kittyandthegoldenfontanelles Tue 05-Mar-13 17:51:37

glad you've got some work starssmile sounds like a tough shift though. Hope it goes well.

Thankyou kitty it is 8-10 is on the late shift 10-06:30 is the nightshift beacaise of this you dont always get your tem min break at 22 hours so you can go from eight till one thirty am with no break grrr and you get treated like poo sigh hoping to get a perm job asap and not alot of ppl about at the door at 8pm to get in the building so you stand there like a lemon !

MrsShrek3 Tue 05-Mar-13 23:58:10

anybody around yet or am I too early? wink brain whizzing tonight, I fear there will be no sleep here for another night.

ripsishere Wed 06-Mar-13 00:05:25

I'm here, although I need to go and buy some shopping shortly.
It's a really humid morning in Malaysia, the A/C is on and will remain that way all day long.

MrsShrek3 Wed 06-Mar-13 00:07:53

hi rip smile what temps are you getting outdoors, dare I ask?

Midwife99 Wed 06-Mar-13 00:26:51

Hi everyone!! Are you ok Shrek?
I saw Sigur Ros tonight so on cloud 9!! So exciting!! smile

cafecito Wed 06-Mar-13 00:27:27

hi! I just got in.... accidentally bumped into someone and ended up spending hours... in a pub... was actually good. but now have done no work, have cleaned no floor, done no prep for tomorrow.. eek..

hurrah on the work front stars hope it goes well tonight

mrsshrek - how are you?

kitty - charcoal grey, not brown grin

cafecito Wed 06-Mar-13 00:28:37

also I offered to be a surrogate mother shock what was I thinking beer induced clearly was not thinking but now, kind of thinking about it

ripsishere Wed 06-Mar-13 00:29:31

See, I'm just easing myself in here and have no idea what the message from cafe city means.
to answer your question MrsShrek, daytime is about 34, night time 26 so pretty warm. It's the humidity that kills me.
Who is Sigur Ros? should I be aware of that individual? sounds like a piece of Ikea furniture to me.

cafecito Wed 06-Mar-13 00:29:49

themidwife ooooooh ooh oooh

ripsishere Wed 06-Mar-13 00:30:06

Which of course is cafecito. bloody laptop thinks it knows better than me.

cafecito Wed 06-Mar-13 00:32:30

hi rip! I talk nonsense, I don't understand myself grin

was a nice sunny day in London today realised my commute is shorter if I walk a fair bit of it, cuts out two tube changes. should've realised this a while ago... nowhere near as sunny as KL though!

cafecito Wed 06-Mar-13 00:32:52

cafe city sounds like my kinda place!

jynier Wed 06-Mar-13 00:39:56

cafecito - Did you REALLY offer to be a surrogate mother???

cafecito Wed 06-Mar-13 00:41:00

sorry for all the difficult MCs and losses people have been through sad thanks I have to present tomorrow on clinical links with oestrogens jynierI am talking about Premarin! educate my group
was reading that one of most common reasons for recurrent MC is antiphospholipid syndrome, blood clots form more easily.

cafecito Wed 06-Mar-13 00:43:30

ummm yes I did jynier I really like this friend, and they are a gay couple - wouldn't be for a couple of years yet. I kind of always wanted 3 children. But I cannot have another one (no way). I have often thought about altruistic egg donation too, but if I could do it for someone I know, it would be great. But I don't know about actually managing what I do, ie, the busyness, with a pregnancy - but my others were okay..

I said it as a joke though, but I have since thought about it. I think they won't have taken it seriously. confused

cafecito Wed 06-Mar-13 00:45:04

obviously it wouldn't be my child, but I found pregnancy okay and deliveries okay generally - though sometimes I think perhaps I have this superhuman image of myself in my brain and I could set myself up for a crash. I kind of miss all that pregnancy stuff. I would not have another one myself though.

cafecito Wed 06-Mar-13 00:57:12

this is sigur ros rip you've probably heard this one

jynier Wed 06-Mar-13 01:01:01

"cafecito" - You're winding us up!!!

cafecito Wed 06-Mar-13 01:05:17

nope - am I mad? hmm [ponders] [wonders if it stems from genuine altruism or shocking ego that wants to add one more genius to the world, or shocking lack of ego that needs to justify own purpose in life by giving life to others] hmm

cafecito Wed 06-Mar-13 01:06:55

grin I had had a drink though. But yeah I nearly donated my eggs not that long ago - as an altruistic donor- but the procedure is mighty invasive with a GA and so on. I only started thinking about it after a relative had IVF with a donor egg, and I was going to donate to them, but a donor came along at the right time. I then started to think, well, maybe I should do it anyway.

cafecito Wed 06-Mar-13 01:07:33

I am mad aren't I confused but it would be an interesting experience

i dont think your mad. What a good thing to do for someone, cafe.

just woken by stupid brain thinking dark thoughts. Hate that. Thank god for MN to distract!

tell more about your talk tomorrow, cafe. My mum had many miscarriages. In the 70s i think very little was known. Its am interesting subject. And how great that you are using Jyniers info!

Splishysploshy Wed 06-Mar-13 02:16:20

Can I join you all please?
Laying here tossing and turning semi happy but now the security sensor light has gone on outside and I am being irrational, it can go on from a cat or something, can it not?

ripsishere Wed 06-Mar-13 02:24:28

Probably mad, but it would be life changing. Not keen on that band, I think she was singing in foreign.
Must go and rinse the immac off my tache or my lips will melt. DD asked me last night if she could take the tube in for her friend 'I'. I has a very hairy forehead.

cafecito Wed 06-Mar-13 02:41:07

Hahahahaa to hairy forehead grin and lip meltage. hilarious. I hate the smell of immac!

yes I am cafe, and I am mad smile well, what didn't we know. I would like to do it- I am trying to work out how I could do it, I wouldn't do it for anyone else but these peole are so lovely - is it weird I wouldn't want to be involved in the child's life at all though? hmm all these things I had never really thought about.

splishy welcome. yes those lights are very sensitive, I'm pretty sure a fly could set one off.. like in that bugs movie.. oh wait, they set flies off..

stairs thank you - I would post about my talk but it would require an element more sobriety than I have in me right now. Suffice to say, there are many thrombophilic disorders, in particular, that are terribly terribly common among the general population- cause no ill effects generally (maybe increased risk of thrombosis, but only slight, no more than anything else) and when they really have an effect is in pregnancy as tiny clots can form and cause a MC to an otherwise healthy pregnancy. I think it's utterly scandalous that women suffer time and time again yet testing is so scarce, and one it's identified things can be done to address the problem. So awful people have to go through such difficult events repeatedly. Of course there are many other causes of MC, but this is quite a common one.

cafecito Wed 06-Mar-13 02:42:17

when I was 12, I tried dying my actual real hair with Jolene creme bleach..

ripsishere Wed 06-Mar-13 03:43:42

Haven't we all? glad to say my lip hasn't melted, it is an attractive scarlet color though.
My sainted sister offered to be a surrogate for me and DH when I was having trouble TTC. We did consider it, but left the country (jizz in a jiffy bag?).
I got pregnant almost immediately after leaving England though, so her uterus wasn't needed.
She just pops them out. She has eight children. Each pregnancy was a twin one and she lost a twin in each except the last when she delivered the full pair.

McPrice Wed 06-Mar-13 03:58:43

may i join? am up with 5 week old who has wind and id very grizzly. starting to go doolally though lack of sleep shock
husband snoring next to me ses to be able to sleep through anything!

McPrice Wed 06-Mar-13 04:00:29

see cant even spell , have only one hand free to write the others breastfeeding...

ripsishere Wed 06-Mar-13 04:36:11

Impressive work McPrice. My DH moved out of our bedroom when DD was a small baby.
Come to think of it, he didn't move back in till she moved to her own room.

Dlass Wed 06-Mar-13 04:39:51

up with a vomiting boy. I've had the dreaded sickness bug, finished sunday & was quite optomistic I'd got away with everybody else avoiding it. 1am the dreaded cry..... muuuuummmmm! so downstairs we went bucket in hand, every 15 mins since then poor boy. for a 5 year old he is a superstar, hit the bucket every time & very calm. popping out for supplies when DH wakes at 5am before he leaves us alone for the day.
Hoping and praying Dh doesn't pick it up or there will be hell. Just bleached all surfaces, handles toilets etc around the house again !!!

ripsishere Wed 06-Mar-13 05:41:02

sad you poor thing. It is one of the worst noises in the middle of the night - that 'Muuuuuum' cry.
It is great when children can reliably hit a receptacle though. The day DD found she could puke into blue for spew was a red letter day.

Hobbles onto thread ouchy toes stuipd safety boots knee on fire due to pain waves to new people and regulars Such a long shift off to bed in a bit hoping for sleep cornflakes and a brew and codine first. Hobbles out ochy ochy ochy

kittyandthegoldenfontanelles Wed 06-Mar-13 07:34:53

morning everyone smile

well we slept till 5.20 this morning! 9 hours in a row! trying to get her back off now or she won't make her baby group this morning and that would be a shame.

cafe I think it is commendable what you are considering. I know I couldn't do it and really think I would see it as my baby once I had carried it for 9 months sad But plenty of people do do it successfully. What an incredible thing to be able to do for your friends; friends who would become family smile

kittyandthegoldenfontanelles Wed 06-Mar-13 07:36:37

Evening stars smile . How was your shift? Enjoy a well earned snuggly sleep now grin

kittyandthegoldenfontanelles Wed 06-Mar-13 07:38:33

Cross post stars smile Poor thing. Would a bath before bed help? I always remember the sleep I had after a nightshift was always the sweetest wink

Minimammoth Wed 06-Mar-13 08:18:37

Morning, cross fingers for halt to spread of vom virus diass.
I am slightly lumpy this morning and eyeing suspect goat cheese with orange rind which I snacked on last night. I have A forehead like a Clingon. Though not hairygrin Sympathy stars, enjoy the codeine.

kittyandthegoldenfontanelles Wed 06-Mar-13 08:41:01

How is he dlass? sad

poor bumpybonce minimammoth. Does it hurt? Does it make you feel unwell?

Sweet babu went off again and is still sleeping. I've made a Chennai and done a wash. Happy smile

Minimammoth Wed 06-Mar-13 08:48:09

What is a Chennai? Glad your happy, no forehead does not hurt, bit itchy, but will go down, only mild, but amusing.

kittyandthegoldenfontanelles Wed 06-Mar-13 08:55:31

Thanks mini. Beef Chennai, formally known as Madras, for tonights tea.

Midwife99 Wed 06-Mar-13 16:20:51

Hello all!! Yes Sigur Ros are an Icelandic rock band who I also saw in Reykjavik in November (sorry can't help showing off!) - my absolute faves. Hoppipola is their most well known toon because it has been used for loads of TV stuff but alot of their music is much heavier. They were AMAZING last night smile

Hope your lecture Re clotting disorders & mc went well cafe - these days GPs (& themidwife) are much more switched on about putting women on 75mg of aspirin daily if they've had more than one mc because until they've had 3 or more consecutive mcs they are not referred to gynae for further tests. Something as simple as that can make all the difference!! Tell your friends! You can buy "baby" aspirin over the counter.
Oooh kitty - 9 hours straight - you must feel great!! smile

Midwife99 Wed 06-Mar-13 16:22:27

Vomiting children, bf babies, hobbling night shift workers welcome one & all! grin

Minimammoth Wed 06-Mar-13 19:11:16

Arghh my allergies are really up at the mo. just had wholesome smoked haddock risotto, and am instantly reacting < this is unusual for me> am fed up sad swollen chin this time, and other, ahem, bits. Hope it wears off soon.
Also hope sore feet, voming children etc are feeling better

MrsShrek3 Wed 06-Mar-13 19:31:10

sounds awful, minisad

still lurking.... wink

Minimammoth Wed 06-Mar-13 19:43:03

Gawk. Anyone know whether its ok to take two types of anti hystemine. I have a long acting and a short one. I know I can take another long acting, but short acting is quicker. Am rambling, I know .

cafecito Wed 06-Mar-13 20:33:43

never trust internet medical advice- but take the fast acting one please- and if you have any natural yogurt, eat some (helps) and get thee to A&E if the swelling still there

Midwife99 Wed 06-Mar-13 20:34:57

Oooh mini you ok?? I think piriton is the best for sudden reactions.

MrsShrek3 Wed 06-Mar-13 20:53:27

i have allergic dc, one works best with cetirizine and the other loratadine... thought antihistamine was all the same until i got two differently allergic kids hmm hmm (irrelevant)grin

cafecito Wed 06-Mar-13 20:55:13

*sobs just wrote 2 long posts and MN keeps crashing for me so deleted them both

*waves to all


- over and out for biscuits

Minimammoth Wed 06-Mar-13 21:00:35

Thanks folks I have taken loratadine, and have taken 2. I have an old fashioned sleep inducing one but daren't risk it on top of the other, i do want to be conscious tomorrow. I will try the yoghurt. I feel such a wimp, I mean people have far worse, but am so agitated. Does alcohol helpgrin

Minimammoth Wed 06-Mar-13 21:01:37

Cafe, it must be a heavy night on MN it keeps crashing n me too.

MrsShrek3 Wed 06-Mar-13 22:26:28

ahh, thought it was my crappy tab thingy but now it may be that mn is to blame...
sorry I'm not posting all that helpful chatty stuff atm, still having a rubbish week sad

Minimammoth Wed 06-Mar-13 22:32:01

In what way rubbish mrs Shrek

MrsShrek3 Wed 06-Mar-13 22:36:58

on a bit of a downer (understatement) Only on 10mg still, I do probably need more but they're trying to do it slowly... l've run out of energy tbh.
how's the allergy doing? any reduction in the symptoms yet?

Minimammoth Wed 06-Mar-13 22:37:29

Got to sleeeep now. Anti H workung

MrsShrek3 Wed 06-Mar-13 22:38:09

durr, 10mg of ADs... sorry typing fail...

MrsShrek3 Wed 06-Mar-13 22:38:49

god sleep vibes mini. smile

MrsShrek3 Wed 06-Mar-13 22:39:29

GOOD...(must putdown crappy tab thing)

Minimammoth Wed 06-Mar-13 22:42:21

Ha I was wondering. Swellings still up but not itchy.sometimes takes ages. But feel a bit calmer. Hope you lift soon depression is horrible. Do you get other support, CBT or similar.

Minimammoth Wed 06-Mar-13 22:43:37

Night night.

Midwife99 Wed 06-Mar-13 22:45:52

Night night mini & Shrek - hope you both feel better in the morning smile

Midwife99 Wed 06-Mar-13 22:46:14

Night cafe!! smile

SummerDad Wed 06-Mar-13 22:53:06

looks like everyone has already hit the sack hmm

cafecito Wed 06-Mar-13 23:02:22

oh gosh no what do you think I am, normal grin

cafecito Wed 06-Mar-13 23:06:38

I went out for a wander to picadilly circus and back with biscuits feel more awake now. I tried to lie down and sleep at about 8/9 and though I was so tired, I could not sleep. grr.

mrsshrek 10mg very low dose of anything- sorry you're on a downer, I have been on a downer the past week, you just have no energy do you, to do anything- feeling a bit brighter here now that the sun is coming out

mini have you been tested for lots of different allergens? the severity of your reaction worries me somewhat. I had a really bad reaction once to dried apricots hmm came up in hives then my whole body swelled, my throat swelled up, couldn't breathe.. ended up drinking some random yogurt drink with live yogurt in it that I had in the fridge and going to A&E- turns out I can't have sulphites.. (in most wine!!) or some fruits.. I get less severe reactions to nuts (eat most nuts) but yeah - weird, there are allergy 'groups'

jynier Wed 06-Mar-13 23:06:39

SummerDad - am wide awake (wish that I wasn't!) - see what you started!

cafecito Wed 06-Mar-13 23:10:43

THEmidwife good to hear about the aspirin - can I ask you for help with any obsgyn questions please thanks (for you are THE midwife!) crazy was in a tutorial with a CONSULTANT today and asked a very reasonable and relevant question, and she couldn't answer it. She had started off the session really grumpy and saying how wonderfully important she was and talking to us like we were total idiots, and less distinctively less grumpy and humbled. I was a bit irritated because I genuinely thought she'd know the answer and wantd to know it, and google is not throwing up many answers - but I was also a little bit happy that even people who think they are amazingly clever sometimes don't know all the answers

cafecito Wed 06-Mar-13 23:11:47

kitty I have visions of you mmaking Chennai, seductive Nigella styley, in a red polka dot apron .. and not much else *washes out brain

jynier how are you feeling?

SummerDad Thu 07-Mar-13 00:23:01

hey jynier how are you doing?

cafe whats up doc ?

jynier Thu 07-Mar-13 00:29:32

cafe and SummerDad - Am feeling dreadful! Thanks for asking! cafe, was there any discussion with your group about the use of Premarin and other oestrogens?

cafecito Thu 07-Mar-13 00:31:28

whatsup doc smile

hmm I need to either sleep or work. Instead, I am faffing about online. Someone tell em to go away grin

I know if I go to bed though, I won't sleep. I hate that- lying there thinking I am tired and why can't I sleep. harumph.

how are you doing summerdad?

cafecito Thu 07-Mar-13 00:31:39

em = me!

cafecito Thu 07-Mar-13 00:43:08

currently listening to a song called chocolate&flowers, staring at the massive amount of stuff I don't know for my 9am interrogation session in the morning. hmm.. think my kitchen floor needs cleaning grin

SummerDad Thu 07-Mar-13 00:49:04

I am good cafe, I am up again tonight after enjoying sound slumber for a week or so hehehe, thinking about getting some work done but can't be bothered smile

Jynier I am quite rubbish at consoling generally but I am here if that could help in any way.

Morning all bounces onto thread smiling a massive grin admiring her bright eyes and bushy tail ( which as been backcombed and is massive)

Yes Kitty had bath before morning sleep but legs ached and throbbed so much didnt get to sleep till after 9am and up at 1pm napped a hour or so around 4pm then slept at about 8:30pm and now awake with a crooked neck.

Just made a brew for my poorly dp whos been sat on the loo for 3 days thanks dominos pizza

And have looked everywhere and I mean every nook and crany in the flat for sennaklot for me cant find grr ( due to inhaling codine for the last 24 hours)
So may have to tidy two junk drawers and the writing brewra ( sp)

Sigh dp just looked into.his brew cup and sighed may need to get the kettle on again

Waves to all

SummerDad Thu 07-Mar-13 00:54:18

hey stars <waves back> smile

Hey summer dad what work are you supposing to be doing ( nosy) glad to hear you got some sleep

SummerDad Thu 07-Mar-13 01:00:38

hehehe stars I am not supposed to do any work per se was just thinking of making use of my "spare" time to do something more useful - as always <sigh>

jynier Thu 07-Mar-13 01:02:07

Tx, SummerDad! - I am feeling so angry and outraged!!! Anger that my beloved partner lied; anger that my precious younger brother died; anger that my darling BF died! Darling bro and BF were not treated properly by NHS! So f*****g angry!!!

jynier Thu 07-Mar-13 01:02:52

Am crying now ...

SummerDad Thu 07-Mar-13 01:05:41

I am so sorry to know all this jynier, I read your post in another thread it must be really hard for you to go through all this. It might sound cliched but I really feel for you.

SummerDad Thu 07-Mar-13 01:07:17

I wish I could make it easy for you jynier in any way, my sincere and best wishes are with you dear.

SummerDad Thu 07-Mar-13 01:11:32

still here jynier, are you ok?

Oh jynier sending my best wishes too

Off to catch up on some tv back soon

cafecito Thu 07-Mar-13 01:22:45

jynier- on a practical level do you think it's worth considering whether the next of kin of your BF or Dbrother could pursue a claim at all? I worked in med neg for many years, before changing sides as it were. Alternatively, can you pinpoint certain events in the care that are troubling you? If you can, can you write to the hospital to trigger an SUI into it and possibly get a written response? It may help to know it won't happen again and has been acknowledged - but sadly of course many people don't have good care in hospitals and it's not due to actionable negligence.

jynier Thu 07-Mar-13 01:23:29

SO... F*****G ... AWFUL!!! My brother did nothing to deserve his dreadful and painful illness; he had never been unwell in his life!!! It was so terrible for his wife and children!!! My darling friend was ignored by her GP, who prescribed anti-depressants when, in fact, she had cancer! I knew that she was seriously ill and I'm not a doctor!!!

jynier Thu 07-Mar-13 01:40:59

cafe - I tried to send a complaint about lack of care. I realised that my brother was in the terminal ward (my SIL and children did not seem to know what was going on - they were all totally bewildered) and he was not receiving basic care (my bro is so easy-going and cheerful that he couldn't see any problem! He didn't want to upset anyone!). My complaint could not be dealt with as I am not his next-of-kin. He was put on the LCP. My older brother thought that young bro was being given morphine for constipation; had to gently explain that this was not the case and that our beloved one would die quite soon. We got there with our sister 10 minutes too late. Sad.

ripsishere Thu 07-Mar-13 01:50:52

So sorry to read that jynier. I have no idea of your backstory. It sounds ghastly.

jynier Thu 07-Mar-13 01:58:41

Thanks, all! Am suffering from a massive overdose of grief/loss/self-pity!!! Would love to turn back the clock but realise that it's impossible. Appreciate all your kind words.

jynier Thu 07-Mar-13 02:17:39

The kindness on this thread is deeply appreciated; thank you!

ripsishere Thu 07-Mar-13 02:24:42

It is given with sincerity. Look after yourself.
I've just noticed that the plants I picked on the way to dropping DD off at school have bloody died. Two hours and they are useless.
I needed to explain to my Myanmar class that, since plants are living they can move. a type of low growing weeding thing moves its leaves in response to stimulation.
I will have to pick some more now. Possibly ice is the way forward?

cafecito Thu 07-Mar-13 02:25:08

oh gosh jynier, how traumatic sad was it quite recently that your brother died?

within a year they should really respond or acknowledge- maybe send a letter to the chief exec. No negligence in LCP though but it's a bit of an ethical hot potato of course, and awful just awful to see someone you love die like that.

re your friend, there could be a delay in diagnosis case against the GP, if the next of kin wished to go down that line. they have 3 years if so, but generally best to start a ball rolling within the first 2 years as it can take a long time to collate expert opinion and suss out the case and it's best to do that prior to issuing.

but equally, well, what good would come of that - it's a little too late right? change in procedure? an apology? acknowledgement is more the thing I guess, but it won't take away any of the feelings sad

jynier Thu 07-Mar-13 02:58:16

My friend's son works in the NHS; he understood the complaints procedure but it was all too traumatic for him. He came home from work early one day to take his mother for an X-ray but she died, in their driveway, as soon as he had helped her into his car. He was furious at the slow response to his 999 call.

ripsishere Thu 07-Mar-13 03:08:31

Fucking hell! sorry to swear but that's a shocking thing to happen.

kittyandthegoldenfontanelles Thu 07-Mar-13 03:08:46

jynier sad thanks

cafe, absolutely right wink You should have seen me kneeding my naan grin

rips my 15 month old said "Burma Burma Myanmar" the other day. How clued up is she? grin

cafecito Thu 07-Mar-13 03:10:23

I often dealt with claims against ambulance services. Not that I advocate litigation - but some of the cases were utterly shocking. Just procedural problems coupled with incompetence and bad management. I would never pursue a case myself, but if withint he last years (or longer, sometimes) it's still possible for it to be investigated. Often as time ebbs away, it can be less raw and people start to think in factual terms. But where someone has died, the compensation paid is very minimal.

cafecito Thu 07-Mar-13 03:12:22

kitty your DD is so advanced!

agreed jynier- you have lost those very dear to you in some pretty shocking circumstances. you couoldn't have done anything differently yourself but it's almost worse to be held back by the actions or non actions or web of events played out that we can't control

cafecito Thu 07-Mar-13 03:14:35

ooh, did you wink over your shoulder, pout, pop forward while cleavageing it up as you leant into your dough? this could be a whole new cooking show

Lostonthemoors Thu 07-Mar-13 03:15:27

Jynier so very sorry to hear of your loss sad

Waves to cafe, kitty, rip and dad.

Back on here again as now I have the sickness bug DS had - feel truly foul and poor DS is restless because I keep writhing.

StoicButStressed Thu 07-Mar-13 03:16:32

I'm still up as can't get to sleepsad. Was my Mumma's funeral yesterday (though guess given time now it was technically the day before yesterday...) and I am just very sad, very stressed, miss my Mum and exhausted from funeral planning and the months that preceded her passing when she was very ill and deteriorating daily from f*cking cancer.

Have been through every emotion possible but suddenly am hit by a new one today (yesterday?/now) for first time - anger. Am just so so SO angry. And so so tired, but can't get to sleep but have to be up at 6.00 for DS's/school etc. Am scared shitless re driving when this exhausted too - terrified as it's so dangeroussadangrysad.

Anyway, nice to discover i am not the only one still up, so big hello to rest of you x

kittyandthegoldenfontanelles Thu 07-Mar-13 03:18:27

oh Blimey lost poor you. sad

<searches for electrolyte balancing sachet emoticon>

jynier Thu 07-Mar-13 03:20:25

Am simply unburdening myself on here of grief/self-pity as it's anonymous. People in RL don't understand either through embarrassment or lack of experience of death. There is nothing to be gained from making a claim about poor care or slow ambulance response; it won't bring them back!

kittyandthegoldenfontanelles Thu 07-Mar-13 03:22:00

oh stoic sad thanks for you too. So fresh and raw.

I agree about driving when so exhausted. Are there any alternates?

I'm so sorry about your mum.

cafecito Thu 07-Mar-13 03:26:36

sometimes it's reassuring to think it could be prevented from recurring jynier- as in, their death in that manner wasn't in vain, if procedure is changed and this doesn't happen again

but no, you're right, bloody useless really

unburden away

cafecito Thu 07-Mar-13 03:27:42

stoic- so so sorry to hear of your loss. thanks thanks thanks

is there a way you can avoid driving?

Lostonthemoors Thu 07-Mar-13 03:28:02

So sorry about your grief stoic sad puts out hand to hold.

Sounds like you need to call in favours with neighbours/get taxis on those days you are too tired to drive.

jynier Thu 07-Mar-13 03:32:15

StoicButStressed - I am so sorry for the loss of your mother. Hope that you will be able to achieve some sleep tonight! Maybe you should take a day off tomorrow/today if you're worried about driving. Cuddle up with your DS! He's bereaved, too! One day away from school won't hurt! Best wishes, x

kittyandthegoldenfontanelles Thu 07-Mar-13 03:39:44

I agree with jynier. I had been thinking the same thing.

Midwife99 Thu 07-Mar-13 06:46:57

Oh stoic & jynier - I wish I could say something comforting - you both must be in such pain. I hope you do have RL hands to hold during the day. thanks

Cafe - yes - any obs/gynae questions cheerfully attempted!! Can't promise to know the answer but will try!!

Kitty - now you're teasing us you naughty Nigellaesque wench you!! wink

Lots of you up last night - I'm in a totally knackered phase atm so am missing all the chats & just dip in to add my little comments rather late! Tell me to F off for not being nocturnal if you like!! wink

BlueyDragon Thu 07-Mar-13 07:05:15

(((hugs))) for jynier and Stoic. Stoic, did you sort out the music for your Mum's funeral?

Jynier, I am sure everything you are feeling is normal but I guess where the loss is sudden you get it all together rather than having time to process some of it. Certainly when my grandfathers died very close together in time, one very unexpectedly and the other with plenty of time to come to terms and say goodbye, the emotions were all the same but the experience was different - and there weren't any issues with quality of care for us.

The vomit monster is here, too - I have a wriggly and snuggly DD in with me, poor baby sad.

Minimammoth Thu 07-Mar-13 08:38:36

Thinking of you all.To those grieving I would say let all the anger and tears flow. In my own experience when I was very young I put it all on hold to be strong for others, pushing it inwards is not good for your health, mine was delayed almost 20years. Then I could not stop crying for 3days. So let it all out.
Passing tissues. Here, blow, there that's better.
Am a bit lopsided this morning and groggy, but on with the day. Happy sleeps those on shift work.

StoicButStressed Thu 07-Mar-13 15:21:06

Thank you all so much for lovely messagesthanks

Kitty, Cafe, Lost Have 2 DS's still at home, DS2 17 & DS3 11. DS3 really struggled when his beloved Nanny died, and missed a lot of school as couldn't get to sleep until mad 3am type times (& obv, needed me desperately for comfort, so those days worsened sleep too). All advice re how help l'il bods like him is to try and get them back into school/routine/friends ASAP as that's what helps them. So, after a few days, that's what managed to do, so be really reluctant (& feel that awful Mummy guilt at failing my child..) to keep him off when doesn't physically or psychologically need to be, and could actually set him back in HIS healing process. The HUGEST irony though is that whilst DID have to drive DS2 in, DS3 is actually home as was really rough this morning - couldn't make it up! And no, am out of options other than me driving -

i) Am pretty isolated (as had to become so to protect my DS's privacy as 2 of them were badly attacked in; ditto had to stop my much missed career & colleagues etc.) so it's only my 2 BFF's forever am really in touch with and they live miles away;
ii) The few favours I could call in from school acquaintances I have already had to call in, and - as Jynier said - everybody somehow thinks it's 'all ok now', even though she only died 18 days agohmm... I really do NOT get how anyone could think that, but THAT is the reality of itsad;
& iii) Nope, can't afford taxis/cars right now as is £10 each way and I am beyond cleaned out this month as did so much for Mum's funeral (which still so glad I DID do, as was very personal and very 'Mumma'); will post some pics for you of the very 'her' stuff managed to get.

So Midwife, can see from above that "no" is answer to 'hands to hold in RL' right now (sad and an horrific side-effect of something that itself was so bloody horrific), but wish I did as it is just SO fucking hard. My sis (ex-pat) is currently back, but it's not the greatest of relationships even though I have tried monumentally hard to try and improve itsad.

Bluey So sweet of you to remember that nightmare on morning of funeral when realised my sister & I each thought the other had the CD of the Israel K. version of 'Over the Rainbow'... so NONE of us had itshock - happy to say did sort it via use of Mac attached to Archie's (DS1) amp that he was using. He sang with his guitar for his ace Nanny, was incredible and beyond poignant; link is here if want to hear it - - as it was recorded.

And final piece of beautiful music bits was when my (male) BFF rounded service off with an accapello version of 'Three Times a Lady'. Mum would have been SOOOOO proud of Archie, but also know she would have LOVED fact that a couple of her old biddy type mates had their jaws on floor, as BFF kinda famous & she would have loved that "See my daughter's best friend" thing (just as she - uber embarrassingly at the time - but wish was still same nowsad would literally photocopy Radio Times/whatever with my work in schedules; use a LUMINOUS bloody highlighter on my stuff; and then proceed to send to all her mates and even give to perfect strangers on bus! )

Sorry, just realised written War & Peace length postblush so will go now, but only after saying <in firmest poss presenting voice!> to Jynier that feeling as you do is NOT 'self-pity' in any way angel ok? What you're feeling is normal for these horrific situations. Suspect the fact that others - who haven't been through it - 'act' as if you should be 'normal', you're following their (hugely wide of the mark) 'cues' if even remotely think you have 'self-pity'. You don't. You have grief hon. Normal, natural, healthy GRIEF.

Sending hugs to all, ESP Jynier

StoicButStressed Thu 07-Mar-13 15:23:47

Oh, and HERE is Mumma - along with the pics I mentionedsmile

MrsShrek3 Thu 07-Mar-13 16:06:33

just catching up and checking in. lots going in. the support here is absolutely awesome. hugs to all who need them, back later to ramble the night away....

BlueyDragon Thu 07-Mar-13 23:59:04

Anyone for an early start? I have yo-yo children tonight as DS appears to want to drink his body weight in water and DD is still getting over her tummy bug (although thankfully no more vom).

This time 3 years ago DH was making me walk sideways up and down stairs at hospital to get DS shifting. I can't believe my baby is about to be 3!

ripsishere Fri 08-Mar-13 00:24:36

Evening all. Your pictures are beautiful Stoic, as was your mum. What a lovely woman she looked.
I have a bit of a first world problem, I am taking Flagyl for a bastard tooth access but am going to a wedding later where there will be alcohol. My dilemma is whether to stop so I don't vomit or carry on and be virtuous.

Welovegrapes Fri 08-Mar-13 00:27:28

Evening all - was Lost but have nc.

Stoic, as I've said before on the other thread, thank you for sharing your photos with us.

Blue - 3 is soooo grown up!! Mine is not quite 20 months - bet it has flown by.

Welovegrapes Fri 08-Mar-13 00:28:43

Rip I wouldn't drink, but then I'm still bf so haven't had a drink since June 2010 amazingly hmm

BlueyDragon Fri 08-Mar-13 01:02:36

He's just turned from being a "baby" into a "child", IYSWIM - he's capable of understanding and expressing himself and rationalising at a different level to where he was even 3 months ago. And you're right, Welove, it has flown. Suddenly I'm DM to a 6 year old and a 3 year old. Trouble is, in my head I'm about 25 grin.

Morning rips. How bad's the abscess? Worth risking the ABs not working? Are those the ones you can't go out in the sun either - bit of a problem where you are?

jynier Fri 08-Mar-13 01:10:28

... Hi, everybody! Thank you all for your kind messages.

ripsishere Fri 08-Mar-13 01:28:43

No idea about sun, too late if they are.
The access is not bad, BUT the tooth does need to come out. The last time I had dental treatment was just before we left Bangkok. I had a GA to have a filling replaced due to a ridiculous gag reflex.

ripsishere Fri 08-Mar-13 01:29:21

It is a fucking abcess, not access, this bastard laptop does my head in with its know it all ism.

jynier Fri 08-Mar-13 01:33:52

rip - Language!!! Hope you get it sorted soon; tooth abscesses are dreadful but there's no need to swear!

ripsishere Fri 08-Mar-13 01:40:28

[bush] sorry Miss

Wonders onto thread very bunged up due to codine.

And just had a massive wried dream invouling sitting on loo outside front door of childhood house watching puffins the size of jumbo jets emirgrate across the sky while a gang of bikers zoom up the hill looking for kenny.

And me trying to stop my teenage dd helping the local crew save kenny on her barbie tricyle with go faster strips.confused

Ohhh Rip poor you

Waves to all

cafecito Fri 08-Mar-13 01:55:55

this is ridiculous, I am going to really risk a lot if I carry on staying up all night and then MISSING things in the morning because I fall asleep at about 5am. No no. Okay- staying up all night to ''reset'' my clock - lots of work to crack on with, lots of apartment to tidy, so many things to do - and need to be somewhere by 7.30 hmm can't risk missing it. yikes.

cafecito Fri 08-Mar-13 01:58:16

grin at swearing

abscesses are awful - as is that autocorrect spelling thingy, hate it!

hmm, medically speaking, you should carry on taking the ABs to fight the active infection.

practically - is it still hurting? <naughty dr cafe>

cafecito Fri 08-Mar-13 02:00:45

Stoic, thank you for sharing - have you heard of winston's wish, for DS3 if he needs a bit of support?

mrsshrek how are you feeling?

I think some of the reason I am missing morning things is that I am actually really quite depressed and its pretty damn debilitating when it gets bad isn't it. I need to snap out of it. New improved cafe coming soon.

Ohh cafe I had hoped you inner clock had re-set it self ealier in the week.

cafecito Fri 08-Mar-13 02:11:18

far from it stars think I am worse than ever! oops.
stars- re codeine issues, make sure you are drinking enough water

jynier Fri 08-Mar-13 02:26:44

Hi, cafe! - What's up? Sending best wishes!

Welovegrapes Fri 08-Mar-13 02:32:58

Cafe don't know if hugs would help at all - sending some just in case.

cafecito Fri 08-Mar-13 02:35:06

thanks jynier- dunno really, meh smile I'm super stressed at the moment about various deadlines and I've been making myself feel worse with overconsumtion of chocolate, overspending, and generally avoiding all the work I need to do. When I do try to sleep, I can't confused yet I am tired all the time.

cafecito Fri 08-Mar-13 02:37:53

oh I do like hugs - and grapes, in fact - chilled, red ones

om nom nom

still feeling a bit fragile I think after DD birthday, which is silly, but it's kind of still bothering me that nobody remembered at all. I also have just been given a research assignment to do and I am at a loss as to where to begin. And I'm 4 weeks behind on my current stuff, with maybe 3 months' backlog from before- blabla

cafecito Fri 08-Mar-13 02:38:27


Oh yes cafe have been doing that on the night shift I got through 3 liters of water!! Your adoivence of work was like me in my last yr of my degree when it was eassy time.

3000 word eassys or sorting out the kitchen cupboards I knew what I was doing but couldnt stop.

In the end I had to have a grown up talk to myself its so hard I really feel for you

jynier Fri 08-Mar-13 02:54:06

Oh, cafe, I know exactly how you feel! I thought that you were upset about your daughter's birthday but you never, ever gave us the date!

Sending blessings and love to you and your little girl; I know how much you adored her! She is free from pain now and at peace. It's hard to carry on when you have had such a dreadful loss but you will have so many people thinking of you and your daughter!

Love, xxx <3

StoicButStressed Fri 08-Mar-13 03:04:22

<tired voice> Hello all, glad to see again that it's not just me! TY for lovely messages re Mumma, although still can't believe she's not here TBH.


Rip - Have you acquired the wonder that is Orajel? Is a high strength dental pain numbing cream (includes local anaesthetic so works amazingly). Re Anti-B's, ideally you need finish course for them to wholly effective, but guess short break in taking won't kill you. Would also suggest Motillium (also known as Domperidone) which is an anti-nausea drug that is avail OTC, IE without prescription. So short break and an anti-nausea med may allow you to get pissed as a newt enjoy a couple of drinks?

Stars - yep, water/hydration is VITAL as codeine will cause build up of boulders savage constipation. The two other things you need are to be on Senna (at least 2 each night), and acquire the very dignified Glycerin suppositories to 'help' get all moving againgrin

On the senna may do the other if nothing moves thankyou grin hate taking codine but its the only pain reile thats working body got used to Tradmol sigh.

Sending kind thoughts and love to you cafe and Stoic

ripsishere Fri 08-Mar-13 03:15:46

Not sure if either are available OTC here, once again 'oh to be in the 'kok'
just gearing u[ to go and collect dd from school. They finish at midday on Friday, which is both good and bad.

kittyandthegoldenfontanelles Fri 08-Mar-13 03:53:59

Hi all

I've been awake with the sweet babu since 1.00. She's in a very strange mood- not really feeding, not wanting to play, just awake wanting cuddles and very clingy. She's very quiet, apart from when I put her down and just staring straight ahead mostly. Most unlike her.

Positive thoughts, hugs, tissues, comfortable silences and offers to listen all night to all those who need it.