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What 'signal' do you use to let your oh know you fancy getting jiggly?

(137 Posts)
janji Sat 16-Feb-13 21:53:30

Girls night in and discussing the subtle or not so subtle ways we all let our ohs know 'we're in the mood.' Must admit, after 19 yrs together mine is a simple 'you fancy a cuddle' (with raised eyebrows). Not exactly seductibpve I know!!

2cats222 Sat 16-Feb-13 21:57:07

marking place I do not have a signal therefore am bemused to hear some people do!

Tortington Sat 16-Feb-13 21:58:56

i say this
"fancy a bit?"

frustratedworkingmum Sat 16-Feb-13 22:03:09

We have several, ranging from - "do you want to come and sit over here with me" = come and sit on the sofa and give me a bj while i watch TV (usually met with a hmm face) to "do you want to stick your cock in me" oh dear, i think we need to work on the romance - mostly its in the morning so its just touching smile

Cailinsalach Sat 16-Feb-13 22:05:38

I remove the barbed wire from my knickers and swing it seductively ...........

2cats222 Sat 16-Feb-13 22:16:41

calin grin

Doshusallie Sat 16-Feb-13 22:19:01

Fancy some rudes?

Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme Sat 16-Feb-13 22:21:28

I just grab a hold of him. It's like an on switch, once I let him know I'm in the mood there's no stopping him. Most of the time he grabs me first though.


"shall we go to bed early?"

Hmm. Hardly Mae west, is it.

janji Sat 16-Feb-13 22:21:41

Calvin, just wasted a good mouthful of wine snorting at your barbed wire!winegrin

TiggerWearsATriteSmile Sat 16-Feb-13 22:21:54

Get up that stairs will ya.

janji Sat 16-Feb-13 22:22:05

Cailin! blush

TiggerWearsATriteSmile Sat 16-Feb-13 22:22:25

Or, I'm going to bed
Come on

CailinDana Sat 16-Feb-13 22:23:13

"Fancy a shag?" Last of the great romantics, me.

BOF Sat 16-Feb-13 22:23:39

"Shall we put the dog out?"

cowmop Sat 16-Feb-13 22:24:52

"I'll wash me fanny if ya fancy a bit."

Or similar grin

Ambassadoryouarespoilingme Sat 16-Feb-13 22:25:59

My boss said he used to know when his wife was really gagging for it, because she took one leg out of her pyjamas. I asked what happened when she was just slightly open to the idea, and he said she just pulls them down a bit.

I'm clearly too coy.

Sometimes, I say; have you had a shower?

FlouncingMintyy Sat 16-Feb-13 22:26:24

Roffle at Bof!

Are you keen to preserve your dog's sensibilities?

CailinDana Sat 16-Feb-13 22:27:22

We had a bit of baby eviction fun earlier and looked up to find the cat staring in the window at us. Very judgemental he was. Pervert.

CointreauVersial Sat 16-Feb-13 22:33:31

I put my slinky nightie on.

joanofarchitrave Sat 16-Feb-13 22:38:35

Ambassador, do you work for dh?

[twangs pyjama elastic]

Zumbasmyfave Sat 16-Feb-13 22:39:56

Let the sausage see the bun!

BOF Sat 16-Feb-13 22:40:44

Mintyy- the dog does have a disconcerting tendency to stare...

I've thought of another one. Usually in the mornings- DP will say "Do you need anything taking downstairs?", I'll blearily open my eyes, only to see him gleefully swinging a draped towel or artfully balanced pile of laundry about his person...

gruffalobore Sat 16-Feb-13 22:42:56

I say that I fancy a bit of juicy sausage normally in response to a question like what do you fancy for dinner (now I've written that it sounds terrible) or fancy giving me a poke later.
Very romantic grin
Good thread topic!

whattodoo Sat 16-Feb-13 22:43:02

We're not very frequent sexers.

So it tends to be a bit of a build up over a few days of more teasing cuddles, or I'll say that its a shame we woke up late because I had been planning to seduce him, or I'll do a hit of a strip tease while undressing for my shower.

After a few days of teasing, words are no longer necessary!

gruffalobore Sat 16-Feb-13 22:44:11

Or flash my boobs at him!

lulu2 Sat 16-Feb-13 22:44:54

Ours is do you fancy a game of hide the sausage?

Hemlet Sat 16-Feb-13 22:45:08

You can have a go on me if you like

whattodoo Sat 16-Feb-13 22:45:44

God, that was a lot of teasesblush. I think I need an early night wink

Angelico Sat 16-Feb-13 22:48:23

PMSL at Zumba and 'let the sausage see the bun' grin

vamosbebe Sat 16-Feb-13 22:48:53

I usually rub my hands together and ask : 'the beast with two backs - any takers?'
Or mention truffles (private joke).

chickensarmpit Sat 16-Feb-13 22:52:50

Is your widgy clean is my pulling line. Or put me nightie down when your finished if I'm tired. <sexy>

IamMrsJones Sat 16-Feb-13 22:59:21

Mine is usually; get your cock out mate.

Now I've just seen that written down, it looks awful. blush

RedRobin1 Sat 16-Feb-13 22:59:44

"I fancy a poke" "do you fancy poking me", getting my boobs out Or just sneakily playing with willy while he sleeps wink guaranteed to do the trick.

IamMrsJones Sat 16-Feb-13 23:00:03

Or, I love you ya know.

Flojobunny Sat 16-Feb-13 23:05:40

Get down there and sort me out.

Cortana Sun 17-Feb-13 00:17:33

"Sex now, please"

Dp starts with neck kissing or massage though.

Selba Sun 17-Feb-13 01:22:31

i feel sick at these responses

Bogeyface Sun 17-Feb-13 01:55:47

"Shall we put the dog out?"

That just gave me such giggles!

We are very much of the "Are we doing it then, or what?" school of seduction, I think after several years and kids together you go past the slow seduction methods and cut to the chase. Probably because if we did it the pre-kids way, we would both be asleep before I had my bra off grin

Bogeyface Sun 17-Feb-13 01:56:04

Why selba?!

wispa31 Sun 17-Feb-13 01:59:56

'wana fuck?'

(god that sounds crude lol)

wrinklyraisin Sun 17-Feb-13 03:27:23

I usually ask him to have a Canadian shower before he comes to bed, or I tell him I've just had one... Usually does the trick, and it's become our running joke of a jiggy-signal.

Chubfuddler Sun 17-Feb-13 03:49:46


Or smoke signals

What is a Canadian shower and should DH have one?!

tumbletumble Sun 17-Feb-13 07:52:25

I don't have a phrase - just start snogging him and see where it leads!

MidnightMasquerader Sun 17-Feb-13 08:12:33

When we first started going out we had a convo about how tabloids always use the rather coy/hilarious word 'romp' when describing sexual shenanigans; '3-in-a-bed romp' 'Tory politician caught with pants down, romping with the chambermaid', that sort of thing. No-one else ever uses the word, 'scept the red tops. And ever after, it become 'our phrase' so to speak.

So now we just say 'wanna romp?' and it cuts to the chase.

kittyandthegoldenfontanelles Sun 17-Feb-13 09:21:09

"have you got any energy?"

<romantic and sexy>

we've got a 15 month old grin

Samu2 Sun 17-Feb-13 09:44:40

Wanna fuck? does it for me too.

"Fancy an early night?" this usually coincides with DH pouring me another glass of wine.

Zumbasmyfave Sun 17-Feb-13 10:34:53

Hehe I am taking notes! :-D

Branleuse Sun 17-Feb-13 11:04:42

i usually start groping him, or just acting flirty, or show him my bum/tits

Sometimes i tell him that I REALLY like him for his personality, and would he like to spend some time talking about our feelings, and then he knows im up for it.

Bogeyface Sun 17-Feb-13 11:11:18

I still want to know why these answers are sickening!

I found the sausage answers a little distasteful - in the light of the horsemeat scandal - who knows what kind of sausage you are going to get?

kalidanger Sun 17-Feb-13 11:26:41

I'd hope that most of this meat these sausages have been fully labelled and the poster knows exactly which abattoir supplier they are coming from but I guess one can never really tell hmm

AnyFucker Sun 17-Feb-13 11:51:51

I move from my sofa to his.
Or, in bed, drape my legs over him or spoon my bum against him

Occasionally, I will send a text like "you, me on the kitchen worktop" even if he is in the same house

He has a very fine trigger smile

perplexedpirate Sun 17-Feb-13 12:03:05

I take my clothes off.
We don't have time enough for subtlety! wink

MrsExcited Sun 17-Feb-13 12:09:39

Tickle his tummy

Thewhingingdefective Sun 17-Feb-13 12:16:41

'So are you gonna ravish me later?'

'Do you want to investigate my underwear?'

Or just sneak a grope.

WiganKebab Tue 19-Feb-13 21:30:07

Lol at putting the dog out and the one-leg-out technique (perhaps there's a gap in the market for one legged pjs.....)

We don't have a signal, it's "Fancy a bit", or "Wanna shag".

"How tired are you, on a scale of one to ten?"

MechanicalTheatre Tue 19-Feb-13 21:50:26

I mostly just rub my cheek against his.

That sounds quite coy.

Don't worry, it heats up, sometimes we even leave the lights on.

As he is up silly early even on none work days he goes to bed a 10pm. I am a night person and will finish work papers until 2am sometimes.

All the above make it very easy for him to know if I am up for it. I just go to bed the same time as him.

The sad thing is when finished I get up and start working again.

deleted203 Tue 19-Feb-13 21:54:20

I was worried that everyone else had subtle, romantic signals they used!

Pleased to see that they don't grin

DH's most frequent 'chat up' line is probably, 'D'ye wannae come over here and cuddle ma cock?'

notquitenormal Tue 19-Feb-13 21:57:46

I'll usually ask if he's planning on having a shave that evening. To let me know he'll come and give me a kiss and rub his cheek against mine so I'll know he's had a shave.

Or one of us will say 'shall we do rude things?'
Or we'll nuzzle until rude thing ensue.

SusieSusieSheep Tue 19-Feb-13 22:00:28

We sometimes really are as pathetic as this:

"Do you want sex?"


Susie: that's not pathetic, that's the definition of clear communication! smile At least there's no risk of misunderstanding.

Ohhelpohnoitsa Tue 19-Feb-13 22:04:08

did we find out what a Canadian shower is?

Noren Tue 19-Feb-13 22:10:45

Shall we have sex now? (can't stand hints)

crje Tue 19-Feb-13 22:44:39

Me - 'get your coat,you've pulled'

Him-' you look 25'

UterusUterusGhali Tue 19-Feb-13 22:59:08

Don't do the sex any more, but in tge past it'd be
"wanna do a sex" or similar.

If children were within suspected earshot we'd just dirty-talk in Polish.

SignoraStronza Tue 19-Feb-13 23:05:45

Quick, its asleep in the cot for change I reckon we've got about 25 minutes (one sleep cycle). Do me now please. wink

cronullansw Wed 20-Feb-13 00:08:39


Surely you know that according to MN forum lore, interfering with someone while they are asleep is sexual assault?

WiganKebab Wed 20-Feb-13 20:46:11

Is a Canadian shower something to do with poo?

Does it involve songs of Leonard Cohen - or speeches of Sarah palin?

TrinityRhino Wed 20-Feb-13 20:49:55

lol you lot are hilarious

d'ya wanna put your cock in my mouth?

of so, when are you gonna fuck me hard then?

silly overt things really

or just a bit of groping and away.. grin

Lastofthepodpeople Wed 20-Feb-13 20:52:21

Are you up for some activity?

Also curious to know what a Canadian shower is.

GroupieGirl Wed 20-Feb-13 21:01:52

ThreeBee We, too, go for "How tired are you?" grin

Is a Canadian shower like a "gentleman's wash"?

ZenNudist Wed 20-Feb-13 21:03:50

I ask if he wants 'le nookie", or just get into bed with no clothes on. grin

NoelHeadbands Wed 20-Feb-13 21:06:39

"Do you fancy some sex then?"

"Oof. Not really. Do you? I suppose we should"

"Nah not really. But I suppose we should"

Or sometimes DH will motion toward his crotch and say "brace yourself love, I've an extra eighth inch for you today I reckon"

Drives me wild.

MardyBraWouldDoEddieRedmayne Wed 20-Feb-13 21:06:40

This is so funny. I bet netmummers ask their DH's if they'd like fluffy wuffy special cuddlekins. MNers are more a "fancy a shag" variety of woman.

NaturalBlondeYeahRight Wed 20-Feb-13 21:08:04

And they say we Brits are repressed blush

Bogeyface Wed 20-Feb-13 21:12:06

Is a canadian shower the male version of a whores bath? So Pits, privates, and a quick gargle with the mouthwash

Bogeyface Wed 20-Feb-13 21:12:49

"I suppose we should"

That is very familiar! grin

Johnnysknickers Wed 20-Feb-13 21:15:43

Er "Can we have sex tonight?" or sausage jokes while making dinner or just inappropriate grabbing really.

We are way past any semblance of romance here. grin

Johnnysknickers Wed 20-Feb-13 21:18:46

Haha "Are you tired?"

That one is very familiar with a 1yo and a 3yo in the house.

Or (radical idea) "Shall we put the children in their own beds tonight?"

Bogeyface Wed 20-Feb-13 21:40:38

Anyone else had a baby that seemed to know when you were about to get down to it in the odd moment when you werent paralysed with tiredness and the baby was asleep?!

All of the DC did it, but DC6 is the worst, I rather suspect she is making sure that she will always be the baby of the family grin

Midwife99 Wed 20-Feb-13 21:49:04

I am going to google Canadian Shower!!
I can tell my DH is in the mood because he sits next to me & puts his phone away!

Bogeyface Wed 20-Feb-13 21:50:59

Googling was slightly disappointing Midwife!

Midwife99 Wed 20-Feb-13 21:51:05 shower

Midwife99 Wed 20-Feb-13 21:54:50

Oh well, hopefully someone will say something to cheer you up again Bogeyface!

AuntLucyInPeru Wed 20-Feb-13 21:57:33

Are you up for a fuck? Pretty much covers it here. Said in a loving way, obviously grin

Ill let you know on Sunday grin

Kione Wed 20-Feb-13 22:05:40

"should we go upstairs?"

"I feel a bit..." and I put coy face

if he is naked after a shower I stare at his Willy until it goes hard, just by staring, is like magic!! and he knows. if I dont feel like I MAKE SURE not to look

He is fqr less subtle, but tells me sexy things unfortunatelly it doesnt work sad

Either a grab at his crotch once in bed <classy>

Me: do you fancy an early night?
DH: Hmph, what's the point, you'll fall asleep whatever time we go up.

Sex about as frequent as a full moon.

LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance Wed 20-Feb-13 22:35:42

If it's a morning activity I uses me bes' Wes' Cunnry accen' an' I sez 'Do ee want the use of my body afore I puts me corsets on?' grin

Coconutty Wed 20-Feb-13 22:45:53

Some of these sound very familiar. I usually start winking during the course of the evening. He says oh God is it that time again and winks back.
Obviously the oh God bit is a joke..

I know he's in the mood when every time I bend down to pick something up or put the washing in etc he starts humping me.

whattodoo Wed 20-Feb-13 23:00:52

Which of these do you think are going to be featured in talk roundup?

TDada Wed 20-Feb-13 23:02:05

Apparently Clint. Eastwood says "honey have you flossed". Don't ask me how I know.

Yy I heard that! There was outrage at the time but actually compared to most here, that is very romantic!

MrsMushroom Wed 20-Feb-13 23:07:40

We tend to go for one another physicallly rather than discuss it! It seems that's rare though! We'll do a pressier hug than normal....and get gropey. That's a nice clear message.

It's not as clear as 'have you had a shower?' Surely?!

MrsMushroom Wed 20-Feb-13 23:14:53

grin surely you know if your partner is freshly showered? unless you're the queen or something and live in a mansion! can smell them!

wink it's me, the queen

SignoraStronza Wed 20-Feb-13 23:25:02

Bogeyface: DH had nicknamed it coitus interruptus infantusblush

Tortoiseonthehalfshell Thu 21-Feb-13 00:55:13

Bogeyface, this is so familiar that one of our chat-up lines is actually "DH, for the record <pointed look at pre-verbal baby DD> I definitely do NOT intend to have sex with you tonight and there would therefore be NO PROBLEM if the baby chose to sleep badly. Ahem. Cough cough". (Yes, I do say the ahem cough cough bit).

These days it's more "I might go to bed early tonight. Would you like to join me?". Genteel, us.

TDada Thu 21-Feb-13 07:22:41

So what happened to nice baths and rose petal paths leading to cushion filled bed?

Pleased to see gender balance in relation to taking the initiative.

ButternutSquish Thu 21-Feb-13 16:31:13

I usually text him the word 'voof'....which is an 'in joke' thing....Always works!

Sugarice Thu 21-Feb-13 18:20:49

I usually roll onto my side and ask him to stroke my back or I just start kissing him.

Never fails!

Me: I leave my knickers on when getting into bed

DH: he is usually breathing grin

Velve Thu 21-Feb-13 18:55:40

I just drag him with me. He doesn't seem to mind.

Kione Fri 22-Feb-13 08:25:00

Last night DP tidied up the room and left on top of the lovely made bed: my basque (tasteful and hides my tummy, I like it no probs there) and stockings and high heel shoes!! Subtle??? well it worked and he was so happy that then he brought me supper in bed grin
I am still on the stage where I am trying to enjoy those things, but how can you say no when he is so nice...

TDada Fri 22-Feb-13 08:27:34

Just tie the bastard to the bed, I say

Coconutty Fri 22-Feb-13 09:17:22

I may use some of these ideas, not all at once though. Don't want to be shouting woof while wearing a Basque and trying to grope him, he'll think I've lost my mind.

WiganKebab Fri 22-Feb-13 22:12:02

And what's the signal that you use to shoe that you, in no uncertain terms, most definitely do NOT feel like getting jiggy???

singaporefling Fri 22-Feb-13 22:25:54

Am not remotely shy/coy in any other area of life, but become rather pathetic/nervous... And we've been together YEARS.... I usually say.. "Shall we have a rest/can I put my head on your chest and smell you/can I suck your bottom lip".... Usually does the trick... Or I go into the bathroom for aaages, usually faffing for so long he's in danger of nodding off..and 'emerge' in a slinky-ish nighty, always feeling faintly ridiculous like someone from a carry-on film! Have even been known to 'loiter' in the doorway (before I 'slide' along the room as if my backside is glued to the wall!) I still find him absurdly gorgeous/hunky/intimidatingly confident and have always felt/known that he's 'out of my league' and am STILL amazed that he wants to make love/have sex (so enthusiastically) with me...

dustybum Fri 22-Feb-13 23:35:25

I never say anything, tbh - I have a v v shy libido and any kind of dirty talk sends it running for the hills, I just feel like a total wally talking about sex. So we'll have a hug and it'll turn a bit squeezy and then someone's hands are in the other one's clothes and we just sort of go from there. Or if we're in bed spooning, I'll shove my bum at him in an enticing manner. grin I'm so rarely up for it that when I finally am he spots the signs instantly, poor sod. Normally I just flop on my side of the bed like a dead fish and stay put all night.

singaporefling Sat 23-Feb-13 18:41:09

Haha dustybum - deadfish sooooo much dp cant believe his luck most of the time.. Combination of being frisky/not knackerd/no 'distractions'... Rare indeed..

BitOutOfPractice Sat 23-Feb-13 19:01:29

I'm in a new relationship so we talk about it (and do it!) a lot. So I might text him "Kids are out. Fancy a fuck?"

LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance Sat 23-Feb-13 22:34:30

Aww Dusty that's so sad. Are you ok with that?

WiganKebab Mon 25-Feb-13 20:50:33

I disagree re Dusty - not sad, just the way some of us are built?

sweetpud Tue 05-Mar-13 16:29:45

Some of these responses are sooo funny, at least it has helped cheer up my day! :-)

elly67jo Tue 05-Mar-13 16:52:14

Had to bump this as best laugh in ages. Am off work with flu and is just what I needed.

msrisotto Tue 05-Mar-13 17:12:38

Usually "fancy some" followed by suggestive eyebrow waggling, winking and comedy growling. Or it might be as simple as "Fancy having the sexuals?", or just getting progressively more touchy feely in bed!

Lucylloyd13 Wed 20-Mar-13 15:46:33

I ask him whether he would like to feed the hedgehog?

Samu2 Thu 21-Mar-13 11:45:47

Last night I told him that I was giving him advance warning that I was going to screw him.

I am so romantic!!

NippyDrips Thu 21-Mar-13 12:06:13

Lmao at feed the hedgehog!

Dp has a very low sex drive so I tend not to say anything for fear of pressuring him.

MooMooSkit Thu 21-Mar-13 12:17:23

DP has a low sex drive I think for a man (and compared to me) so i rarely try it on as he usually has issues if he knows he has to "perform" so we rarely do it at the moment, if he wants it he usually just spoons me so i can feel his thingy against me :P

Fallenangle Thu 21-Mar-13 12:20:25

He is always up for it, so no need for any communication there. If I am really in the mood I'll wear a skirt or dress in the evening, he then knows he is on to a dead cert. We have three DDs, so his finding out whether or not out I am wearing stockings underneath, without them noticing, is a challenge he enthusiastically accepts.

Sometimes I'll say 'Fancy an early night?' Occasionally he takes the hint. But the only thing guaranteed to work is slipping on something less comfortable. That said, I don't do it all the time as he has a lower sex drive than I do so don't want to feel like I'm putting pressure on him. Would be nice if he initiated it more.

sjupes Thu 21-Mar-13 14:24:26

Dp - wanna suck my cock? <said repeatedly every day till i give in>

Dp - you shaved that thing?

Dp - i'm gonna burst you tonight blush

Me- lie on couch in chemise with boobs and bits out till he can't help himself grin

Me - wanna have sex? Dp - anal? Me - get to fuck! dp - sake ok then if you really want to

Me - i'm tired wanna have a wee bit of shit sex then go to sleep? Dp - spose so...

God when did sex get so crude [wibk]

sjupes Thu 21-Mar-13 14:25:07

Wibk? Oooookaay... wink

OwnedByACockerSpaniel Thu 21-Mar-13 15:35:27

I normally drop him a text that says "sex?" even if he is sat next to me on the sofa hahaha

fuzzpig Thu 21-Mar-13 16:19:11

I love this thread.

ouryve Thu 21-Mar-13 16:24:36

He just knows. Probably because I kiss him back just a bit more at bedtime and don't slap his hands if they wander.

ZipItShrimpy Thu 21-Mar-13 16:49:16

If I am in bed and he is spooning me I might start backwards thrusting. Christ, I am beyond sexy. If he's interested he will be sticking his boner into my back. Rarhh!

If we are downstairs and are child free one of us might suggest some 'Luvvin'

Or more often than not we might just start with a kiss and then get all horny and go from there. I quite pleased to say that even after 16 years we still totally fancy each other! grin

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