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Oh god... Slept with my BFF....

(126 Posts)
icemaidensu Sun 10-Feb-13 21:34:25

What was I thinking!!!.... Would it be considered ' cheating' on my partner?? It wont happen again...there have been a few jokey comments today so am not worried about losing our friendship... That said, its all feeling a bit freaky!!

AnyFucker Sun 10-Feb-13 21:36:41

Eh?

You are with a partner, and you slept with someone else and you wondering if it constitutes cheating ?

<ignores the gender questions on this thread>

Shakey1500 Sun 10-Feb-13 21:38:20

Of course it's cheating. I'm astounded the question needs asking.

VBisme Sun 10-Feb-13 21:41:07

Erm yes, that would be considered cheating.

Casmama Sun 10-Feb-13 21:41:38

Unless by slept with you mean shared a bed and had no physical contact then yes of course it's cheating.

icemaidensu Sun 10-Feb-13 21:46:34

Ok... Sorry... I am in a very happy hetro relationship... Am staying with my best friend(girl) who I have known for upwards of 15 years. Last night the wine was flowing and we were putting the world to rights as you do... And ended up sleeping together... It is not going to happen again but am a bit wierded out by it. I dont consider myself bi sexual at all.. Though when i was 20 did have one experiment... And now 20 years later this! I reckon I will blame the vino and be done with it

Mmm.

If I shagged my best mate, my DH would.be most pleased.

But thats just the way he is.

<shrugs>

ThePathanKhansAmnesiac Sun 10-Feb-13 21:50:41

Do define cheating by the genitals involved?
Of course it's bloody cheating!

ThePathanKhansAmnesiac Sun 10-Feb-13 21:51:13

You^

DeafLeopard Sun 10-Feb-13 21:55:48

Being unfaithful is being unfaithful, regardless of who you slept with

icemaidensu Sun 10-Feb-13 21:56:01

Yes, genitals involved... But like I said its not going to happen again... We both agreed that this morning, best just chalk it up to experience huh!

EverybodysSootyEyed Sun 10-Feb-13 21:57:29

why don't you just ask your partner what he thinks? it doesn't really matter what MN says!

ZenNudist Sun 10-Feb-13 21:58:11

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

FergusSingsTheBlues Sun 10-Feb-13 21:58:33

You do sound quite pleased about it, OP......

icemaidensu Sun 10-Feb-13 21:59:11

Nah... Think will just forget it now.

LouMacca Sun 10-Feb-13 21:59:35

God I've lived a sheltered life!! Or is this a wind up??

BluelightsAndSirens Sun 10-Feb-13 22:01:14

Will you tell your partner?

Kione Sun 10-Feb-13 22:07:02

just asked my partner (man) and he says itbus cheating but its not the same as being penetrated by another mans cock hmm , so ea bit more easily forgiveable. But that it depends on the emotional involvement

I agree - best to just chalk it up to experience. And no, I don't think it does count as 'proper' cheating and I bet if most women, and probably even icemaiden, told their partners that this had happened, their partners wouldn't really mind and certainly a fair few would find it titilating. After all, where a bit of experimentation with the same sex is concerned, the person doing the experimenting is extremely unlikely to start having romantic feelings about their same-sex partner as they are basically straight. And if the female 'experimenter' were to tell their partner about it, then their partner is unlikely to feel the sort of insecurities they would if she had had sex with another man - eg 'is he better looking/younger than me?', 'better hung than me', 'better in bed than me?'. Some men may consider it cheating, but I bet the majority wouldn't. But, in these circumstances, absolutely no harm done and, if in doubt, just err on the side of keeping quiet about it and that will be that.

And in case anyone accuses me of double standards - ie 'what if your male partner told you he'd just had a drunken fumble with his male friend?', well yes, my reaction would be (and in fact has been in the past) exactly the same.

And how does she feel about this.
There are three people here who could be hurt.

Be kind

Oh, yes and I your DP did this with HIS BFF how would you feel?

MajesticWhine Sun 10-Feb-13 22:16:14

Yes, of course it's cheating. What were you thinking?

FringeEvent Sun 10-Feb-13 22:18:28

Yes, of course sleeping with someone other than your partner is 'cheating' (unless you are in an open relationship and have agreed in advance that having other sexual partners is ok in your relationship, which clearly isn't the case here).

You seem so sure it won't happen again, but I'm betting you were not expecting last night to happen either, so how can you be so certain you won't be tempted again in the future after a few drinks too many? Either with the same friend again, or with someone else.

You say you are in a 'happy' relationship with your partner, but if that was really the case, why would you be engaging in sexual activity with another person? Now would be a good time to evaluate how you actually feel about your current partner, because simply 'chalking it up to experience' the morning after sleeping with someone else suggests you don't have much respect for him. If you regret what happened, if you're actually mortified by your behaviour and you want to figure out what led you to this situation so you can prevent another occurrence, then I understand that admitting your infidelity to your partner might be more damaging than keeping it a secret. But you have to recognise this for what it is.

How would you feel if the roles were reversed?

TDada Sun 10-Feb-13 22:20:01

Excuse me but you don't sound real?

BertieBotts Sun 10-Feb-13 22:20:21

I think if your husband slept with a man and then didn't tell you about it and you later found out you'd be pretty upset, non?

You can't just decide "it doesn't count because I'm not gay". It still happened.

BertieBotts Sun 10-Feb-13 22:20:49

Also - BFF? Do adults use this, really?

icemaidensu Sun 10-Feb-13 22:21:03

It was stupid but its done now... No, i have no intention of telling my partner... And there is no reason to think my friendship will be jepordised under the circumstances... We are old enough to know better.. But hey ho.. Life is an adventure !!

AnyFucker Sun 10-Feb-13 22:21:46

grin @ TD

Why are you here if you think you did nothing wrong? I feel sorry for your partner you obviously don't care how they would feel about this.

OrangeLily Sun 10-Feb-13 22:24:14

It's cheating.

My DH would divorce me.

If he cheated on me with a man in such a fashion I would divorce him.

Only you know your relationship.

Shakey1500 Sun 10-Feb-13 22:24:56

"Hey ho it's done now". Really? You are that blase about it? Marvellous. It sounds like you don't give a shit. I feel for your partner.

Foggles Sun 10-Feb-13 22:24:56

I always find the best way of forgetting about something is splattering it on the internet.

As you were.

icemaidensu Sun 10-Feb-13 22:28:05

Ok, will just leave it now... Like I said it was a one off and I have no intention of repeating the experience

Thanks for the replies.. I really wasnt expecting them to be so blunt! But I get it!

MajesticWhine Sun 10-Feb-13 22:28:11

Your "BFF" might have a change of heart and tell your partner...

What did you expect?

As Foggles said........

Don't quite understand what you hoped to achieve by posting this,you clearly enjoyed it and feel quite blase about it.

AViewfromtheFridge Sun 10-Feb-13 22:34:45

Who over the age of 15 even uses the phrase "BFF"? Oh...

icemaidensu Sun 10-Feb-13 22:40:30

@ bossy i also dont know what the point was posting it But I am a regular here namechanged.. And i was wanting talk about the situation thats all! Clearly I made a mistake

For what it's worth icemaiden I really don't understand the reaction you've got on here. It's a perfectly valid thing to want to talk about and I'm surprised at the way it seems to be viewed in such a black and white way, and at some of the rather hostile responses.

Foggles Sun 10-Feb-13 22:54:48

At no point did the OP ask for discussion or support.

It was all "Hey Ho, what's done is done"

A different approach would have got different responses.

binger Sun 10-Feb-13 23:06:07

Just had a very interesting talk with dh. He says yes it's cheating but totally forgivable and not the same as shagging another man, he wouldn't forgive that. Factoring in the alcohol too he's a bit ach whatever about it. Who'd have thought!

It'd be game over as far as I was concerned. Don't care whether my partner had a drunken shag with another bloke or another woman, they'd be leaving our relationship/marriage/house.

SoleSource Sun 10-Feb-13 23:15:07

Show us the DVD evidence.

MajesticWhine Sun 10-Feb-13 23:15:38

green light for you binger, if you fancy a little sapphic love grin

icemaidensu Sun 10-Feb-13 23:18:25

Thanks thecat... I am also a bit surprised at the reactions!
Ok, I get it that it is cheating as such... But at the time it really wasnt like that!! I know that it was wrong... But it happened and I cant turn the clock back! I have had so much support on here with various stuff in my life and It just feels like a bit of a kick in the teeth tonight!!

SoleSource Sun 10-Feb-13 23:19:23

Might be different story if it actually happened binger

Your place or mine?

Maryz Sun 10-Feb-13 23:20:23

Interesting to compare this thread to the one where the op found that her dh had slept with a man.

This really oozes life lessons.

SoleSource Sun 10-Feb-13 23:20:36

icemaiden I need more details. Only way I can make up my mind..

KatieMiddleton Sun 10-Feb-13 23:22:27

The op is literally unbelievable.

Maryz Sun 10-Feb-13 23:23:08

Did you get my subtlety Katie?

icemaidensu Sun 10-Feb-13 23:24:53

Maryz... You are right... And I would be mortified to find that out... So yes.. im off to be with my tail between my legs! Thanks for the reality check all!!

KatieMiddleton Sun 10-Feb-13 23:24:54

grin Maryz

toomuch2young Sun 10-Feb-13 23:26:18

So you are a 40 year old woman, who has not only has a 'BFF' but then shags them after some wine?! And then posts on mumsnet to ask of its cheating?

Sounds like one for Jeremy Kyle smile

icemaidensu Sun 10-Feb-13 23:31:36

Thanks katie, like I said, I have had my reality check.... Have you never done something stupid?? I am properly mortified by my behaviour and have noone to blame but myself, but still, I was hoping to have a bit of friendly support here about this mistake

TDada Sun 10-Feb-13 23:33:03

How old are you icie ?

icemaidensu Sun 10-Feb-13 23:34:36

Oh god!thanks toomuch!

toomuch2young Sun 10-Feb-13 23:34:39

She's 40 TD

Obviously. wink

icemaidensu Sun 10-Feb-13 23:36:06

I am early 40s... And should know better clearly!!

TDada Sun 10-Feb-13 23:37:12

so then put it down to midlife wobbles wink. You are a good egg hun; don't worry about it

fuckwittery Sun 10-Feb-13 23:38:16

I'm going to be kind and think that BFF was tongue in cheek. My dh wouldn't consider it cheating he says. Real life is gender biased! Why are people suggesting the op is a troll?

icemaidensu Sun 10-Feb-13 23:42:51

Thanksfuckwit... I am definetly not a troll... But boy its an eyeopener with a name change and a dilemma on here!!!

KatieMiddleton Sun 10-Feb-13 23:47:16

Have you never done something stupid?

Yeah loads of stupid things, but I have never shagged someone else then very casually posted on MN asking if it's cheating... and I would never use the term BFF either

My stupidity is more along the lines of trying to do everything, failing to be very kind to myself and not saying "no" more. Or forgetting to put the colander under the saucepan to drain pasta. Not so much the doing the nasty when pissed with somebody who's not dh and posting about it in the manner of a 14 year old.

almostanotherday Sun 10-Feb-13 23:48:04

It was the drink I'm guessing would it of happened if you were both sober?

KatieMiddleton Sun 10-Feb-13 23:51:37

If this is genuine, what sort of support are you looking for? Other than asking if it's cheating you've not really said.

icemaidensu Sun 10-Feb-13 23:54:14

Its genuine katie... I dont know what I was looking for when I posted, hindsight is a wonderful thing!

toomuch2young Sun 10-Feb-13 23:54:38

Oh op do stop whining. Don't you realise you cheated on your partner.
In many people's book that's a pretty serious thing. But oh no, you think it's fine to light heartedly come on here wittering on like a teenager about BFFs, and forgetting the fact you cheated!!
What support do you want exactly? You asked a question, is it cheating, and you got answers. Did you expect everyone to say 'aww what a shame, course it's not really cheating hun'
confused

icemaidensu Mon 11-Feb-13 00:01:41

Blimey!

MidnightMasquerader Mon 11-Feb-13 00:03:04

Man sleeps with OW = cheating
Woman sleeps with OM = cheating
Man sleeps with OM = cheating

Woman indulges in a little on-the-side sapphic fun = no harm done.

Who knew?

AnyFucker Mon 11-Feb-13 00:04:32

Have there been some very big upheavals in your life recently ?

How is your relationship with your male partner ?

TDada Mon 11-Feb-13 00:05:29

why don't we test the sterotype and ask hubby to join in next time....taboo but had to be said

fuckwittery Mon 11-Feb-13 00:05:50

Actually a few people have said their partners do not see it as cheating.

People have different views of fidelity. The important thing is what YOUR DP would think. What do you think he would say if you told him?

Blimey indeed!

And the ironic thing is that if this were a mainly male forum I bet the reaction would be completely different (and I'm not talking about the obvious purient interest). I've had this hypothetical conversation with many men in the past, and the vast majority wouldn't consider it as 'proper' cheating and had a similar reaction to the poster's husband above.

icemaidensu Mon 11-Feb-13 00:08:37

Am stepping away now, namechanging back...
Thanks all for making me see clearly the error of my ways

TDada Mon 11-Feb-13 00:08:57

calls for a MN survey i think

TDada Mon 11-Feb-13 00:11:25

Glad that tyou found answers here. MN great for sorting out these dilemnas.

KatieMiddleton Mon 11-Feb-13 00:11:32

A survey you say..? grin

TDada Mon 11-Feb-13 00:12:38

Multiple choice answers only, for clarity

BrittaPerry Mon 11-Feb-13 00:16:46

Er...there is a thread on the go where a woman found that her husband slept with a man.

It totally counts as cheating.

DeafLeopard Mon 11-Feb-13 09:24:34

icemaiden I think you got the responses that you did, because your OP appeared quite light heartedly laughing at your misdemeanor.

Someone who is genuinely horrified at having cheated on a life partner, and potentially damaged a long term friendship forever would have received a different response.

There didn't appear to be any agonising or guilt, it was more like a Katy Perry song.

FarBetterNow Mon 11-Feb-13 09:37:59

The thread were the husband had sex with another man was completely different.
The husband was on all sorts of hook up sites looking for sex, looking at gay porn sites. All a bit more planned and pre-meditated.

Agree with FarBetternow. That thread was totally different and pointed to the husband actually being gay/very actively bi-sexual and actively seeking out partners.

lolaflores Mon 11-Feb-13 15:22:09

I think if she has posted here rather than had a word with her DH suggests she is well aware it is cheating but hoping someone might hand her a reasonable sounding pack of excuses to dress it up as otherwise. So, she may indeed try and sell it to him/her as a bit of input for the wank bank or the betrayal it is. She lucked out I guess

MooMooSkit Mon 11-Feb-13 15:33:18

I can't believe people are saying as it's another woman it's not cheating :S

I asked my DP and he agrees, he'd see it as I cheated on him and not gonna lie, we have indulged in 3 ways in the past (mainly him watching me with another woman) but if I went behind his back to do it WITHOUT him, yes, it's cheating.

TDada Mon 11-Feb-13 22:37:44

Would be cheating but I am guessing that I would be less jealous. Can't be sure until actually in the situation and depends on everything else happening in the relationship.

Fallenangle Mon 11-Feb-13 22:43:51

Consulted my DH. He says if I shagged a female friend one night then that would be cheating, but he would forgive me if he could join in a rematch! Men!

TDada Tue 12-Feb-13 20:08:35

Angle- I am afraid that I know many blokes like your hubbie

GregBishopsBottomBitch Tue 12-Feb-13 20:18:16

OP You dont appear to be that sorry about doing it.

revolvenotevolve Tue 12-Feb-13 20:31:19

I agree with thecatneauterer

jewelledsky Tue 12-Feb-13 20:50:00

What about your friend? How does she feel about it?
Sadly, you will probably find this has long-lasting damaging consequences for your friendship.
You've crossed a line.
And it's very hard to go back.

EchoBitch Tue 12-Feb-13 21:17:05

You shag someone else then it's cheating.

Unless you have an open relationship.

EchoBitch - I really don't think it's that black and white. There are shades of grey in this. Basically if your partner considers it cheating then it is. If they wouldn't in fact be too concerned about it, then it isn't - well not in that absolute sense of the word.

I think that most people would agree that having an affair and sex, with someone else of the same sex as your partner, without your partner knowing, is cheating in the accepted sense of the word and most partners would be upset about it.

However there are many shades of grey (no reference to the dreadful book intended). For example if it's a purely emotional affair - no physical contact whatsoever. People's reaction to that can vary enormously. Some would consider it to be unforgiveable cheating. Others wouldn't.

What about if it's only occasional visits to a prostitute we're talking about. And that is to satisfy some desire that the partner is unable/unwilling to satisfy. If a partner were to find out about it they may well find it quite distasteful, but might understand the reasons and find themselves able to forgive it, and also not categorise it as cheating per se. Others would consider it cheating.

And if my male partner were to get drunk and end up having some sort of sexual contact with another man, perhaps because he'd always wondered what it was like, but he knew he was basically straight, and I found out about it, then I wouldn't consider it to be cheating. I might be upset that he hadn't told me about it because I would like to think I'm the sort of person he would feel able to tell that sort of thing to, but apart from that I really wouldn't mind. I would't feel jealous, as I wouldn't be worried if he is younger/prettier than me or whatever. I wouldn't have to ask 'what has he got that I haven't?' as I already know the answer, and I would understand that my partner would have no romantic interest in men, so our relationship wouldn't feel threatened. So for me it wouldn't be cheating.To some other people it would be.

And there are lots of men who would not be the least bit bothered about their wife or girlfriend having a one-off sexual contact with another woman, and there are some who would.

So you really can't say all these things are cheating. Only the individual partner in each particular situation can make that judgement in each particular case, depending on how they feel about it (or would feel about it if they find out). And the 'cheater' can also make an educated guess about how their partner would react, as presumably they know them very well. So if the OP doesn't sound guilt ridden enough for the liking of some of you, maybe it's because she is fairly sure that her husband/partner wouldn't react that badly.

Sorry for the long post.

EchoBitch Tue 12-Feb-13 22:07:12

If my partner were to go to a prostitute then i would be appalled and i would consider it a deal breaker.
And i don't believe that 'one off' sexual encounters are ever 'one off'.

Like you say,each to their own.

That is my own.

Maryz Tue 12-Feb-13 22:08:45

I think it is black and white.

If my dh went to a prostitute, had a "fling" with a man (out of drunkenness or curiosity), or had an emotional affair, I would consider them all cheating. And if I knew anyone else who did any of those things I would consider them cheating as well.

Exactly, for you that would be cheating. But you can't say that for everyone that would be cheating. That is the only point I was try to make

EchoBitch Tue 12-Feb-13 22:10:18

The OP asked if it was cheating.

I think it is.

If you shag away from home then you are a cheater.

EchoBitch Tue 12-Feb-13 22:11:22

And i think it's black and white too.

noddyholder Tue 12-Feb-13 22:19:08

It is cheating but I have a feeling lots of men would forgive this scenario but not an indiscretion with a male friend.

AnyFucker Tue 12-Feb-13 22:30:15

If you do it behind your partner's back, then how can it be anything but cheating ? confused

Pancakeflipper Tue 12-Feb-13 22:33:03

If my DP slept with his BF, I would be heartbroken and classify it as cheating.

AnyFucker - if you do something behind your partner's back which your partner wouldn't consider to be cheating if they found out, then it's not cheating. If my partner went out and ate a large big Mac and chips, and didn't tell me as he might be worried about my reaction as I don't like him to eat junk, and I later found out. Then yes, he would have kept something from me but, in my eyes, that wouldn't be cheating. If he had one off drunk sexual contact with another man, as in my post above, and didn't tell me, then yes, he would have kept something from me but, as in my eyes that thing he has kept from me isn't cheating, then to me it's not cheating. All I'm trying to point out is that just because you consider something to be cheating, it doesn't mean that everyone would.

EchoBitch Tue 12-Feb-13 22:47:22

I think sexual cheating is just a little different from eating a Big Mac.

Are you going to name McDonalds as a co respondent in your divorce?

A burger is not an affair,it is a bad choice of lunch.

AnyFucker Tue 12-Feb-13 22:49:06

thecat, turn that one on its head

is it ok for my H to have an emotional, not physical, affair?

lots of men (and women) see only sexual contact as an affair, but I do not

so is it cheating, or not ?

I don't think it is just about an individual's context, really, at all

EchoBitch Tue 12-Feb-13 22:53:00

Yep,you are right AF,i should have said any cheating is cheating,not just sexual.
I said sexual because the OP had said her's was a sexual liaison.

That was exactly my point. To me the Big Mac would be worse than the one off sexual contact with another man. Neither of them, in my view, would FOR ME (sorry can't work out italics) be cheating. I was trying to point out the problem with saying that just because something is done behind the partner's back then it must cheating. If the thing being done is in fact less important to the partner than eating a Big Mac would be, then can it really be called cheating? But once again I fully understand that many of you would consider all these things to be cheating if they happened to you. I just want to make the point that not everyone would feel the same way.

AnyFucker - if you consider an emotional affair to be cheating then it is. If you don't then it isn't. That's my point, it all depends on individual reactions to things. I think someone people might consider it easier to forgive a purely emotional affair, others might find it more difficult than a purely physical one. What people consider to be cheating depends on their own, individual reaction to things in the context of the relationship they are in. I feel I'm just repeating myself now so I think i'll step away from this thread - which the OP wisely stepped away from quite some time ago smile

Maryz Tue 12-Feb-13 23:04:57

No, I still don't agree.

Cheating is cheating. Unless you have agreed, in advance, that you are in a non-exclusive relationship and have given each other permission to have sex with another man/woman/prostitute/friend/sheep or have an emotional affair with any of the above or have an online affair with any of the above hmm it's cheating.

And I don't think the op asked her dh in advance whether it would be ok to have sex with her bff [bleurgh].

It smacks of Jeremy Kyles "sexual contact - anything from a kiss to intercourse" lie detector question.

Saying it depends on what your partner thinks is a get-out clause if you haven't cleared it in advance - and those are usually used by people who know they have done something unacceptable and are trying to excuse it hmm

EchoBitch Tue 12-Feb-13 23:12:09

I'm with Maryz here,and how can having a MaccyD be worse than shagging away from home???
<<baffled>>

EchoBitch Tue 12-Feb-13 23:15:24

Hang on,your DP having it away with another bloke is less of a problem than him having a MaccyD?

I hasten to add i have never had a MaccyD and i have never had an affair of any sort and i hope to goodness that DP hasn't had an affair either.

I would forgive a Big mac.

GregBishopsBottomBitch Tue 12-Feb-13 23:17:14

Rules of cheating, should be what both partners in a relationship have agreed to what is cheating, for some a kiss is not cheating, for others it is, so to some of us it is cheating, but its up to the DP to determine what it is.

And i agree that the friendship wont be the same, when you muddy the waters, the rarely get clean again.

EchoBitch Tue 12-Feb-13 23:19:40

Well,i'd forgive the Big Mac but not my DP.

Maryz Tue 12-Feb-13 23:20:07

I also think I would mind dh eating a big mac (even if he didn't tell me about it) just slightly less than having sex with another man.

I wouldn't have to go for a STD check, for starters.

AnyFucker Tue 12-Feb-13 23:20:19

I would forgive KFC, but not Cheeky Chicken

EchoBitch Tue 12-Feb-13 23:21:55

If the OP has to ask us if it's cheating then it is cheating.

She hasn't asked if her DP thinks it's ok.

EchoBitch Tue 12-Feb-13 23:23:23

I like KFC blush

But Dp does too occasionally.

AnyFucker Tue 12-Feb-13 23:28:17

Are you both on the same KFC page ?

Then all is well. Nobody is doing any greasy, fatty, salty fastfood deceit

Maryz Tue 12-Feb-13 23:30:23

[arf]

deleted203 Tue 12-Feb-13 23:32:14

Slightly shock at posters who could possibly forgive their DP cheating on them with another man TBH.

I might forgive DH having a shag with another woman. Would take a lot of doing. But shagging another man? Ewwww...not ever, thanks. That would be far worse, for me. I could just about get my head round him having sex with another woman - would take a hell of a lot of forgiving, and talking through. Stick your cock up another bloke's arse and it's never coming near me again, though!

AnyFucker Tue 12-Feb-13 23:35:34

But what if it were your DH's arse that was penetrated, SWO ?

That might not be classed as cheating.

AnyFucker Tue 12-Feb-13 23:38:08

Y'know...it's a bit like the difference between penetrative intercourse with another and ...say... indulging in a bit of PaddyPower Bingo

A little unsavoury but not really breaking any vows, at all

EchoBitch Tue 12-Feb-13 23:40:38

We are on the same page AF.

Thank goodness.

And we share our KFC.

Oh gawd blush

AnyFucker Tue 12-Feb-13 23:42:43

What about the Bingo ?

I recommend you get that ironed out, EB.

foreverondiet Tue 12-Feb-13 23:55:16

My DH agrees its cheating but probably more forgivable than sleeping with another man. I agree with him ESP as my sister is bi but with a woman partially as she didn't meet the right man. But she did always say she wasn't sure she could marry a man as that would mean not sleeping with a woman again...

Maryz Tue 12-Feb-13 23:58:47

But doesn't marrying a man mean not sleeping with a man (as in another man) again?

This thread is really confusing me.

If you get married, don't sleep around. With anyone. Wouldn't that be a good rule?

EchoBitch Wed 13-Feb-13 00:43:22

Bingo,i have never been to the bingo..

Bunfags Wed 13-Feb-13 07:53:39

Actually, I could handle DP sleeping with a man, but would LTB if he slept with a woman. OP, maybe your DP would feel the same?

leadinglady Sun 17-Feb-13 00:10:58

OK Icemaiden. If your DP 'slept with' i mean have sex with, his bff (male) and promised never to do it again how would you feel?

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