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Valentines day?

(56 Posts)
Londonmummy2012 Wed 06-Feb-13 11:23:42

Hi. What does everyone have planned for valentines day? I have a 7 month old daughter so love has gone straight out the window, so I really should do something.

CogitoErgoSometimes Wed 06-Feb-13 11:26:01

As a lone parent, no plans whatsoever! Think I may have to get out my 'little black book' and whistle up some company.

Errm... DP may possibly get me a card (some years he does and others he doesn't), maybe have some sex. That's about it really.

We usually do a nice meal at home, bottle of wine and watch a film or something. This year we're visiting the IL's fairly soon after Valentine's Day and I think we're just going to wait and go out for a meal or to the cinema while we're there (they'll watch the kids for us)

Dahlen Wed 06-Feb-13 12:16:58

I have never bothered with it. If the only time I get taken out to dinner, bought flowers and chocolate (or cheese, which is nicer), told I look beautiful and I'm loved is on February 14th of every year, he's not worth having as a DP. I want that sort of treatment because he feels like doing it, not because a commercially driven event has reminded him to do so.

madasa Wed 06-Feb-13 12:21:07

My DP will give me a card and flowers.

I will smile sweetly and thank him whilst all the time thinking what a load of over commercialised crap it is

Then I will raise a glass to my darling dad who died 15 months ago as it would have been his 76th birthday

Dryjuice25 Wed 06-Feb-13 12:23:22

I am terrfied of getting something from ex who got me a birthday present, xmas present but nothing from me in a bid to express that I don't want to get back together which is frustrating. God what to do to drive the msg home? I think I will not accept this time. So that is my valentines sorted:refusing present from ex!

PartTimeModel Wed 06-Feb-13 13:48:40

My DD 5yo wants to have a party! Its a celebration for us all she says.
P and I split over Xmas.
I'll buy the DD's some flowers & myself a bottle of nice red.

OnceUponAThyme Wed 06-Feb-13 14:01:28

we give each other cards, and will get a takeaway after dd is in bed. nothing huge tbh, we don't really do valentines, but it is a good excuse for a takeaway grin

Take DC to a few One Billion Rising Events during the day around the city. Get DH a card and prob a takeaway or nice steak in at home in the evening

PartTimeModel Wed 06-Feb-13 14:07:26

Oh year - OneBillionRising!!!!! I'll be championing that though I will be at work all day so won't get to a meet up.

aftereight Wed 06-Feb-13 14:15:31

Not sure what's appropriate this year? DH had an affair, and we are trying to sort things out, feel that I should buy him a card but feel nauseous when I stand in front of the cards in the shop. Can anybody empathise?

madasa Wed 06-Feb-13 14:19:06

So sorry to hear that aftereight....I can empathise totally (whilst I was pregnant...bless him)

For what it's worth I would never buy a card just because I felt I 'should'. In your situation I just don't think I could. But that's just me....different folks do different things.

On Valentines day I will be going to the podiatrist to get my toenails cut grin

PartTimeModel Wed 06-Feb-13 14:22:43

sorry to hear that aftereight

I feel disinterested in VD but unemotional about it - which is great. It must be extra tough in your situation.

I've found the OneBillionRising movement a good focus for the day - have you looked into that at all? Apart from being an amazing movement, it may help you to have a more important feeling different slant to the day.

PartTimeModel Wed 06-Feb-13 14:23:40

Also aftereight why not listen to your body? It's sending you a very clear signal.

After eight: you don't have to buy your H a card. There's no should about it. Do what feels right for you at this time, not what you think you should do.

I've bought some chocolate for DH (maybe he'll offer to share it, but this is by no means certain). Other than that, I've no plans.

aftereight Wed 06-Feb-13 14:50:40

Thanks everyone, you're right. PartTimeModel yes, there's my decision made! Stupidly, I'm worried that the children will notice the lack of card. That's not important, is it..

LondonMummy sorry didn't want to hijack your thread.. maybe you could go down the low key card and a takeaway route? Or an IOU for a night out, when the naff valentines menus in restaurants are gone?

neriberi Wed 06-Feb-13 14:54:23

I don't do valentines day, never had, never will. Thankfully my hubby feels the same!

aftereight Wed 06-Feb-13 14:54:31

Just googled OneBillionRising, thankyou, I was unaware. What a fantastic and worthwhile movement smile

The kids won't notice the lack of card or care.

<shrugs> It's the least interesting 'festival' of the year to me as I do not engage in couple-relationships.

However, the special offers on wine and chocolate, particularly the day after, or at about 5pm on the day itself, are not unappealing.

Though not so this year as I will be recovering from having a chunk carved off one tit envy (that's a sicky face BTW)

Dahlen Wed 06-Feb-13 14:58:02

Hope it all goes ok SGB.

meditrina Wed 06-Feb-13 15:02:13

aftereight try telling your DH that Valentine's Day is too much of a trigger for you and that won't be getting him anything, but that he should do what he thinks is right. Then see if he uses it as an occasion for healing (which might mean he decides to 'cancel' it with you, or mark the occasion anyhow as a sign of his commitment; the indicator being not the gesture or absence of gesture, but how much thought/effort he puts into recognising your conflict and thinking about how to support you through it).

aftereight Wed 06-Feb-13 16:06:45

Meditrina very good advice, thanks. I know he has already bought me a card and a small present, and although he means well, it makes my lack of reciprocation seem, well, mean (am aware how nuts that sounds in the circumstances!).

SGB best of luck, be sure to stock up on lots of that discounted chocolate, for purely medicinal purposes of course

TisILeclerc Wed 06-Feb-13 16:37:04

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Too cringed and fakey for us. We ignore VD here wink

Hope it all goes well SGB

Insecure24 Wed 06-Feb-13 18:24:36

My amazing bf is overseas on business. He left yesterday and be back on 17th but he's left a card and present with strict instructions not to open til valentines. I hid a card and his fav chocolate in his suitcase.

Kione Wed 06-Feb-13 18:30:45

uh, Marketing Day?? nothing thanks

meditrina Wed 06-Feb-13 18:32:36

Am I the only one who automatically reads someone other than Valentine's Day when seeing the initials VD?

No. I do it too.

Me too. I think you have to be a bit older than the STI generation.

No cards here, don't like shop bought and can't be faffed with home made.


Hope all goes well SGB.

SummerDad Wed 06-Feb-13 20:19:33

I hate Valentine's day but definitely will plan something.

TooMuchRain Wed 06-Feb-13 20:32:48

nothing because I don't like it

skratta Wed 06-Feb-13 20:33:58

My DP will naturally forget. I will wake him up, kiss him, give him a card, a present, and pretend to believe him when he says he's giving me my present after the DC's have gone to bed in the evening. And not notice how it was hurriedly wrapped, the card was bought from the shop on his way home and cost about 50p, and the present was probably one of the prototypes for his woodwork designs (from his own business) and hurriedly sanded down and filed.

He loves me really grin

Teahouse Wed 06-Feb-13 20:34:47

Same as every valentine's day for the past 12 years...nothing as not had anyone to do anything with. Hate the fine single thanks but realy don't need reminding that society funds it unacceptable that no one loves me!

MisForMumNotMaid Wed 06-Feb-13 20:35:45

We celebrate with a party for DS. 7 this valentines day.

blockednose Wed 06-Feb-13 20:49:08

Hi londonmummy. When my daughter was born in 2010, on valentines day that year she was only 2 weeks old. DH and I stayed in, watched a film and he got me some presents but more really because it was his way of pampering me as a new mummy. We don't really celebrate valentines day but I do like to use it as an excuse to do something romantic in the house.

In 2011 we actually went out, first time we have ever done this to a lovely bar in shoreditch. Very nice and quiet, only three other couples. But one of them had an argument and the lady stormed out!! Her other half was left sitting there like a lemon with the bottle of wine 2 thirds full and she'd left all her presents behind. It was pretty embarrassing for him I still wonder, how did he fuck up?!

Last year, stayed in, candle lit dinner in the kitchen. This year, we are using up a spa voucher that we got as a wedding present. It's a coincidence that it expires on V day!!

Bobbybird40 Wed 06-Feb-13 20:56:18

Buy her a few Stella's, a Chinese take away then give her a good seeing to.

GiveMeSomeSpace Wed 06-Feb-13 22:58:10

Valentine's day = pile of shite. Luckily DW feels the same, even more so to be fair. She particularly enjoys receiving a big bunch of flowers the following day for a quarter of the price.

I've been in relationships where flowers, a meal out, underwear etc were all simply EXPECTED - where the f@*k is the romance in that?

All the best SGB

GiveMeSomeSpace Wed 06-Feb-13 23:03:06

Teahouse I'm pretty sure virtually everyone hates it apart from lovestruck teenagers...........

MirandaWest Wed 06-Feb-13 23:06:28

I'm going to have lunch with XH and discuss our forthcoming divorce hmm

Will get Bf a card and think he'll get me one. Have made it clear I do not want any other "valentines" things grin

savemefromrickets Wed 06-Feb-13 23:34:20

SGB: for once treat yourself to some new underwear for Valentine's... I learned from bitter experience that cleaning your teeth without a bra on after a bit of a boob op is NOT a great thing to do!!!

Neither was changing gear though to be fair.

What I really needed was a chauffeur who didn't mind holding my boobs whilst I cleaned my teeth, but I'm not sure that would meet with your approval smile

Saveme, thank you so much for making me giggle helplessly with that image.

One of my, well, minor issues with the whole tit-chopping business is that I hate bras and hardly ever wear one... the idea of a Naice Young Man with warm hands whose duty it is to stand behind me and cup the afflicted tit whenever I need to move is quite appealing.

CityTiliDie Thu 07-Feb-13 07:18:39

Very little on the 14th but on the following saturday I have arranged (secretly) for DD to go to Granny's house for a few hours, then I will run DW a hot smelly bath, give her a bunch of flowers and some nice undies then take her to all the local charity shops (her fave pastime) then on to lunch at the chip shop... another favourite of hers!

Locketjuice Thu 07-Feb-13 07:25:23

Have a 1 year old who nanny is babysitting so we are going out... Friday valentines and Saturday for his birthday... smile

fluffyraggies Thu 07-Feb-13 08:19:27

SGB - all the best.

Last VD my DH made a speech about it all being

''a total waste of time and money and not having anything to do with it and i know he loves me and he knows i love him and we both know that we know and we don't need to pay for a bit of card to say it, if i don't know he loves me by now there's something wrong''.


So i didn't buy him a card.

And on the morning of VD he presented me with a big slushy romantic card with the most lovely words written by him and i was shock, blush, smile and hmm all at the same time.

AND - we've not bothered with xmas cards to each other for the last 5 years (since our first xmas together) but last xmas was our first as DH/DW. I thought it would be nice - but got the above speech, so didn't buy him one.

You can see where this is going.

On Christmas morning he gave me a beautiful card with the most beautiful poem, which he'd written himself.

I am buying him a VD card this year.

Valentine's Day = Singles Awareness Day, the day of the year that those who are single (and would rather not be) are made to feel lesser beings!

ike1 Thu 07-Feb-13 09:16:07

That one billion n rising looks good! Think Ill tak the kids along to the local one. Raise some awareness in DS (8)

JollyRedGiant Thu 07-Feb-13 09:17:36

Nothing. I have told DH not to get me a card as I won't be getting him one. We didn't do anything for our anniversary either.

We'll probably have a nice meal out in March or April for our birthdays smile

gingemum Thu 07-Feb-13 14:39:28

I think kids like to do something for Valentine's day, we will make cards for Dad and maybe a cake, will probably make choc brownies and use a heart shape cutter. You don't have to spend money... but if you do want to I made a personalised I love.. book for the kids last year which went down well, here's a link to a demo book

Kione Thu 07-Feb-13 22:06:04

it just to make people spend money on the worst month if the year for shops, after January sales and all that. Sorry but really makes me angry and cringe...
All the best rho SBD

Kione Thu 07-Feb-13 22:06:38

SGB!! sorry!

kikiliki Thu 07-Feb-13 22:29:56

I did try to organise a babysitter, including for either side... no joy sad

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