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Dating chat thread still going! Number 39

(1000 Posts)
lubeybooby Sat 02-Feb-13 12:26:31

Here we are all

Dating related chit chat here

lubeybooby Sat 02-Feb-13 12:27:22

Cont'd from previous thread - Velvet grin that is brilliant, and not sad at all, how lovely. I'm so pleased he has realised

KinNora Sat 02-Feb-13 12:30:53

What lovely news, Velvet, I'm so pleased for you.

lubeybooby Sat 02-Feb-13 12:32:45

Also Watch good luck on your date

VelvetSpoon Sat 02-Feb-13 12:41:48

Thanks everyone grin

Well, the proof of the pudding etc...we'll see if I hear from him later. Hope so.

It's weird cos in so many ways he is nothing like the men I usually go for, he is in no way my 'type'. But he really makes me laugh. And I feel at ease with him. And maybe that's more important?

watchoutforthatsnail Sat 02-Feb-13 12:51:04

course it is. Way more important.

i do hope you hear from him smile

yeah, good luck for my two dates, if i go on this evenings one, it will be 4 dates in 3 days. madness. But there is sun, and i love the castle ( english heritage member... rock on!!) , and theres a nice pub there too. So, can think of a worse way to spend an afternoon.

watchoutforthatsnail Sat 02-Feb-13 12:56:30

oh, and ive uploaded the quick pic i took last night. no instagram of doctoring of pics.

Tis on my profile.

Middy86 Sat 02-Feb-13 13:24:14

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ike1 Sat 02-Feb-13 13:29:20

Hey Velv personally, being comfortable with someone who makes me laugh is the best thing of all (mind you this is someone who actively seeks the company of those about to shuffle off this mortal coil...go figure..)

Snapespeare Sat 02-Feb-13 13:30:08

Place mark!


Flipper924 Sat 02-Feb-13 13:45:10

Watch, you are stunning!!! Such big eyes! Marine biowhatsit Aussie will be bowled over if you look half as good today. I have to say, that sounds like my ideal first date, and with an interest in English heritage, you'll be able to impress him with your knowledge as well.

And Velvet, yes, someone who makes you feel comfortable and who makes you laugh is definitely good. I don't know if you play poker at all, but I know people who do, and who will always play a favourite hand, even if it's clear that it's highly unlikely to be a winning hand, and who won't play a good hand, because they've never won with it before. These people tend not to win as often as the people who look at the odds of the hand they're dealt.

SweetSeraphim Sat 02-Feb-13 14:02:15

Oh ffs, watch, have only just caught up with last night's shenanigans angry

What a prick! I will never understand the way men behave sexually/emotionally, although I'm with one that I love, and I understand more than most, they are just infuriating in the main.

I put it about a bit when I was younger, and I can't tell you how many times this has happened to me. And I used to find it really insulting, like they turned bastard so that I wouldn't get too involved hmm Like I wanted to, you arrogant prick!! angry


Now then, Velvet that is fabulous news! grin You trusted your instincts big time on this one, and it paid off, I'm chuffed to bits for you.

ike1 Sat 02-Feb-13 14:07:02

SS I will insert the 'some' word for you there.....incase anyone objects...

SweetSeraphim Sat 02-Feb-13 14:12:27

Ike grin

chuchiface Sat 02-Feb-13 14:16:41

Hello, mind if I join you? I've been lurking a while and enjoying your adventures, just joined POF the other day, not much in my profile yet, no pic yet folk are adding me as a favourite? What's that about and what's a 'hang out' is that the same as hook up, sorry I'm sooo old!

Snapespeare Sat 02-Feb-13 14:19:54

Welcome chuchi

I think the adding as a favourite is down to 'new blood/fresh meat' even without a photo.... I think (some!) blokes want to strike while the iron is hot, before you get snapped up or totally disillusioned smile

chuchiface Sat 02-Feb-13 14:25:33

Thanks snape, I shall sit down later and sort out my profile, it's all a bit scary though blush

watchoutforthatsnail Sat 02-Feb-13 14:28:04

I am in the castle car park.

Hes 10 mins away.
Ive suddenly realised im meeting someone ive swspped 5 or so emails with, this morning!! Probably not the most sensible thing.

Hang out is basicslly sex. As is wants to date but nothing serious. But take them all with a pinch of salt. The clever ones say want long term, when thats not what they want at all.

Sweet, cheers. When he said that i did say i dont know why he had to say that, its not like i had asked him to move in with me.
( i have male friends, ive asked them about this, mostly they say if they sleep with a woman they assume she wants to be with them forever.... egos!!!!)

watchoutforthatsnail Sat 02-Feb-13 14:29:15

Flipper. Thanks. My exdh used to say i have tiny pig eyes like piss holes in the snow. He was a charmer..... not!

KirstyWirsty Sat 02-Feb-13 14:50:42

Marking my spot

Still getting lots of emails from Mr Cheeky (he's not going to give me up he assures me)

Replied to Hughjackmanbarman's booty call text of 'xx' with '??' He was a smoker and I remember now having a horrible taste in my mouth all the next day (although that could have been the vodka/tequila slammers/jaeger bonb combo I had to drink) .. Wondered if he'd reply with who he is but not bothered if he doesn't

Think I am on the sofa for now really CBA

Secretservice Sat 02-Feb-13 14:56:17

While we're on the subject. Just left remote control man's feeling very deflated. Been seeing him once a week or so for three months, both know Coffee is the only main attraction.

This morning, having almost drained the cup, he stopped ..... To put the fucking football on!

Apparently I'm a high maintenance drama queen for objecting angry

ike1 Sat 02-Feb-13 15:00:38

Oh no.....SS please another another one....

ike1 Sat 02-Feb-13 15:18:59

not another one

MsCellophane Sat 02-Feb-13 15:31:28

Am feeling really sad today. Can't tell anyone so putting here

MrCM has thrown me. I am really good at no strings, always have been. Rubbish at relationships as I'm impulsive and very straight talking. Men like it when it's no strings but lots see it as weird.

A year MrCM has been contacting me, we'd chat, discuss meeting up for casual then stop talking. He is on POF all day every day. We finally meet, all good. Spend a few days being flirty, no filth at all, looking to have the IE. He pops in last saturday, my kids weren't supposed to be here but all were out til 1am. Gave us an hour and we chatted and snogged. The next day - you're sexy, beautiful, more flirty, talking of next time. As the week goes on, smaller messages, answering but one or two words, few questions but nothing much.

I know he isn't a player, I know he hasn't had any action since his marriage ended four years ago. He says he now isn't ready for anything. And he could shag and run but that's not him and he wouldn't treat someone nice like that. Last night he said I'm the only person he has had a date with in four years, only person he has kissed. I think I believe him. He said he talks to people online but doesn't want to meet them

I left it in his hands, told him I am open to friendship, dating or shagging and it's no big deal and I really thought he would contact me today, so far nothing. I don't get it. I don't like it. I rarely meet someone I like, I though my luck would change. Even if it was a casual thing. Why would someone make so much effort to get a shag but then not go through with it???

I have hotbut but all I have is huge physical attraction, no meeting of minds. I talk to him but just want him to shut up and get on with it. I liked all of MrCM

I had telephone call with LennyKravitz lookalike but his caribbean accent was so strong, I only could catch every other word. Felt really stupid having to keep saying 'sorry'. He prob thinks I am airhead with no manners

But all the while I was hoping MrCM had messaged me

I've deleted MrCM phone/email details. All phone messages, all pof messages - he is hidden on there, so won't be able to find him again. Wish I hadn't now, just want to say hi but I know I can't. Have a knot of anxiety in my chest, feel like crying (but won't) trying to keep busy. Do some really have difficulty with being ready for intimates??? Or do we think it's just an excuse?

Thanks for reading, just wanted to spill somewhere. Kicking myself for being so stupid about it all

I have just had a message from an arrogant 22yr old who looks younger than DS. "Had to give you a message even tho you are a little bit older than what I usually go for". Sadly for him, I'm also wiser.

Secret ok so he may be a good shag but if he acts and talks to you like that...

mercury7 Sat 02-Feb-13 15:49:24

MrsC it sounds torturous...deleting him sounds a bit drastic, maybe just give it a bit of time, perhaps things will seem clearer in a while?

Worley Sat 02-Feb-13 15:49:42

marking my place as my six month ban is almost up and considering joining POF again.. had a look on match but very few in my area on there..

Flipper924 Sat 02-Feb-13 15:59:38

MsC, I think he really might not be ready, it's not personal at all. Especially with the talk of chatting on line but not actually meeting anyone. Sorry it's made you feel down, but I don't think it should.

Secretservice Sat 02-Feb-13 16:17:24

juliette it came completely out of the blue. Never shown any tendency to such twuntishness before. He has since texted to apologise, for both the act and the words. Have ignored so far. Not sure what to reply really.

Secret if you want to continue with him, I would make him sweat for now. Did he text to apologise spontaneously? No response for a bit, then mark his card with an icy reply. After all you wouldn't want to be a drama queen, would you? grin

MsC we've all been there, he is one of those you feel a connection with and he has got to you. Whatever his problem is, it is nothing to do with you. It could be anything from being emotionally scarred to being a knobber but imo it doesn't matter why because people like this are unavailable and will only wear you down. You've deleted to remove the temptation to contact him, the ball is in his court so if he wants to contact you to prove he is worth your time he will.

A man who lubey found in my 50+ thread trawl has contacted me. Not exactly breaking news but I'll take him it.

ike1 Sat 02-Feb-13 16:34:36

Well done Jule and Lube...good team work that!

Scrazy Sat 02-Feb-13 16:36:37

Watch, the photo is stunning, you look beautiful!

I'm back from my date. He is very nice, good company and we weren't short of stuff to talk about, we know so many of the same people and I've just realised something else that is quite freaky. I've never seen him around before. Very good looking too, lovely face. However, physically he isn't my usual type and I didn't sense a spark from him or from me but I will definitely go for a beer with him again. If he asks.

Good thing is that I have broken my duck re blind dates.

mercury7 Sat 02-Feb-13 16:40:15

shock @ stopping for football Secret
how dare he!!
high maintenance drama queen, I'd show him high maintenance drama queen...angry

Given that we've all see the level of 50+ pull out there, I thought this little ditty in one of my suitors was particularly charming hmm
if you claim to be of "Average" Body type but your Belly enters the room before your boobs.. pass me by, sorry to sound superficial but it is getting ridiculous! Now I'd like a man whose cock entered the room before his ego but, hey.

or another one who I was just about to contact until I saw..
I'm looking for a woman who has a tiny waist and broad mind, not the other way around I'd like him to mail me, I want to talk about his penis too.

Scrazy Sat 02-Feb-13 16:44:42

Juliette grin at the cock comment.

ike1 Sat 02-Feb-13 16:45:04

Scrazy ...sounds better than the average...
Jule ....oh dear siiiiiiiigh...I feel like all the air has left my lungs...

ike1 Sat 02-Feb-13 16:46:39

...but agree ..with you that is...

ike1 Sat 02-Feb-13 16:50:28

I have orrible pmt today and cant see much point in any of it....cant help but cry about leaving my kids at the their dad's today with her. My little boy stood in a patch of sunlight waving me off as I drove away with tears rolling down my cheeks...(feeling v self indulgent..) Sometimes contentment seems like a long way off.

lubeybooby Sat 02-Feb-13 16:50:51

Watch the pic is indeed stunning!

Juliette, woop! I hope he turns out to be as ok as he seems in the profile. Laughing at the cock comments re: the other profiles

Scrazy Sat 02-Feb-13 16:55:31

Ike, yes it was, very nice meeting. More of mates potential than anything else though! I must stop slurping this wine. I had one small glass out and it gave me the taste.

Secretservice Sat 02-Feb-13 16:56:29

mercury Even worse than that the football wasn't actually on, he wanted to make sur his pc was streaming right in preparation for the football being on shock - and that's an expression he won't being seeing from me in a while - if ever!

Aw Ike (((hugs))) I know that's likely to induce more tears but no one can see...

Lubey it's the Gardener so let's see!

Yes *Watch lovely pic

Scrazy Sat 02-Feb-13 16:59:02

Oh Ike, cheer up love. Kids will be back soon running you ragged. Have a lovely bubble bath, eat some Oreo with Cadburys choc and slurp some red wine. Post on here.

Co-op had some of that chocolate £1 for a massive bar. I just bought some wine and cigs instead. Chocolate is so unhealthy grin.

ike1 Sat 02-Feb-13 17:00:49

Thanks Jule...yeah pmt does bite like a bastard sometimes...and I think I am better off shut away alone ...there are just some images that feel hard to bear sometimes when you feel like this. Ill be ok in a day or two.

ike1 Sat 02-Feb-13 17:06:59

Yeah I am going to the cinema later with a mate...gotta keep on keepin on...

Scrazy Sat 02-Feb-13 17:13:29

Ike, what are you going to see?

mercury7 Sat 02-Feb-13 17:15:30

Secret thats a big fat red card for remote control man, one more foul like that and I imagine he'll be permanently sidelined!

VelvetSpoon Sat 02-Feb-13 17:15:35

MsC, I'm sorry about MrCM. I think you've done the right thing in deleting everything, I wouldn't be surprised if you do hear from him again in a few days or weeks though, but he may still be as unavailable so tread carefully and protect yourself.

Ike, sorry, that sounds pretty awful for you. What are you seeing at the cinema? (I'd suggest nothing too serious/bleak, some sort of escapist nonsense might help a bit)

I wonder how Watch's date is going, shes not back yet so hopefully thats a good sign grin

I've not heard from Cuthbert. But he's not the most prolific texter so I refuse to stress over it yet. Besides which I am too busy eating the contents of the kitchen cupboards, the downside of good sex is it always makes me ravenously hungry...

Scrazy Sat 02-Feb-13 17:23:54

MsC just read your post. Deleting is sensible I think, he has told you straight, unfortunately, as you liked him. Try and chalk it up to experience. If you have an IE profile up which is probably not a good idea imo, then he might have thought he could go through with just meeting someone for sex but realised that he couldn't when the time came. You cannot persuade someone to do something they don't want to as much as it hurts (I know).

I hope you cheer up soon.

lubeybooby Sat 02-Feb-13 17:24:09

I'm eating my way through today too - went and bought half of greggs earlier classy bird

watchoutforthatsnail Sat 02-Feb-13 17:32:55

and im backn smile

velvet - its not over yet, did he say by the end of the wekend or by the end of today?

mrs c - i second what velvet says... are you ok?

juliette, quite why the young ones think you will message them back, i dont know. I blame stiflers mom!!

Date was really nice actually. Chatted lots, took a lot of archetiture type pics. Ended up in the nice pub and had a few aspalls. Hes only here for one more month, its not going to go anywhere, we might go do a few more siteseeing things together if we are free at the same time. Nice chap. He said it was a shame he had to go, which is was. rural busses suck arse.

Am now in my pjs and want to cook a chilli. I have texted the other one... but not had a reply as yet, which is good, because im a bit too drunk and a bit too hungry to want to go out. I want chilli, topped with cheese and magic mike on the dvd player.

VelvetSpoon Sat 02-Feb-13 17:38:45

Watch really glad you had a nice time smile and cheese topped chilli sounds fab, I think I'd rather have that than a date!

Cuthbert said he'd text me today. But he normally only texts in the evenings anyway, so it's early yet and I'm not worrying. Plus I know he was off out with his dad this afternoon and seeing his DC this evening so will be busy in any event. And he is crap at texting.

I might text him if I haven't heard by tomorrow.

lubeybooby Sat 02-Feb-13 17:38:48

Oh my god. Chilli topped with cheese. I am obsessed with food today <drool>

watchoutforthatsnail Sat 02-Feb-13 17:42:20

yeah, how else do you eat chilli?

it needs to be in layers.
chilli, extra hot
cover the lot in extra strong mature cheddar
spodge sour cream and guacmole all over the top.
eat off lap in front of tv.

<ponders why i am on the podgy side>


velvet, sure he will text... he said he would. and if he doesnt, then you have already decided how you feel about that.. if that makes sense.

ike1 Sat 02-Feb-13 17:43:01

Going to see Life of Pi not my choice but its my mates dibs cos she doesnt get out much. I had a fry up btw and went back to bed (shame cos the weather was great but best place for me.)

ike1 Sat 02-Feb-13 17:44:35

It'd better not be a misery fest .....think I might have to smuggle a strong spirit in, in a hip flask.

SweetSeraphim Sat 02-Feb-13 17:55:16

It's not a misery fest, but it does have some very moving/sad moments.... good though!

48howdidthathappen Sat 02-Feb-13 17:55:46

So much to catch up on!

Pleased to hear all is well Flipper

Great news Snape Velvet scrazy

Look forward to updates on all impending first dates.

Watch What a an utter cunt shock hope you are having more fun with the Aussie.

Hope all is cool with you lubey Can't find the new thread!

I have never held out. If I want someone bad I have em grin

Been a little busy with Mr R&R. I am in a relationship. How the fuck did that happen smile

Out on the razz tonight with my mates. Going to hanging by tommorrow.

mercury7 Sat 02-Feb-13 17:59:19

I liked the book..might go and see the film

48howdidthathappen Sat 02-Feb-13 18:00:33

X post Watch Onwards and upwards smile

Sorry if I missed anyone out. I am fucked grin

lubeybooby Sat 02-Feb-13 18:04:51

48 if you posted on it it should still be in your 'threads I'm on'

if not, it's in off the beaten track. Can't link to it as it's bad form

See the square box with discussions of the day? If you click on topics just under that, then scroll down to 'other stuff' in the topics list, otbt is listed there.

Scrazy Sat 02-Feb-13 18:05:41

48 are we still giving up the fags tomorrow?

I've confessed to DD that I haven't quit, she is back next weekend so if I'm not ready then I've covered it. She hates me smoking!

48howdidthathappen Sat 02-Feb-13 18:46:31

Scrazy I haven't got my E ciggy yet. Got my mums birthday monday and a family meeting at hospital tuesday to discuss what happens next, purely routine 2 week assessment, following move to local hospital. I feel a bit crap about it all if I am honest.

I have got to get on with the non smoking thing though, gonna have a gander online at the E ciggys.

Scrazy Sat 02-Feb-13 18:49:35

48, hope things are OK with your mum.

E cigs are just nicotine without the other stuff. They won't get you off the nicotine which is the addictive substance that keeps us puffing away. We need to get over that, only takes a couple of weeks. Bit like getting over a man grin.

48howdidthathappen Sat 02-Feb-13 18:51:14

I can get over a man a damn site easier grin

lubeybooby Sat 02-Feb-13 18:56:36

I can get under one even easier than that sorry couldn't resist

WarmFuzzyFun Sat 02-Feb-13 19:00:59

Hi everyone.

Bit late but congratulations to Flipper (rooting for everything to go well), and a hug to Lubey, I hope that this time next year you will be both delighted and glad with whatever you decide to do.

Can someone tell me why is it if I talk (or post) about a new potential relationship it gets fucked up shortly afterwards? Am I the only one who has this curse?

I have spoken to my friend about a guy who I really bloody like, and I am now feeling completely spooked. sad

Fucking hell, OD, can be bloody torturous can't it? What will be, will be. (WFF tries and fails to be insouciant)

[Pass me the wet fish, please]

WarmFuzzyFun x

Scrazy Sat 02-Feb-13 19:06:37

Warmfussy, I doubt mentioning someone jinxes it, art of probability an all. Mention away!

48howdidthathappen Sat 02-Feb-13 19:08:15

WFF I think there maybe a general jinx feeling on here at the moment.

You are not alone!

48howdidthathappen Sat 02-Feb-13 19:12:51

Saying that I mention Mr R&R all the time. I am a non believer shock

Awaits text of doom grin

watchoutforthatsnail Sat 02-Feb-13 19:16:07

Wff. Haha, i think its dating in general. We
Are on thread 39!!!!

If it worked it would be full of posts of people having a few dates then meeting someone. Its not smile

Snapespeare Sat 02-Feb-13 19:26:38

I want chilli now.

msC I am virtually dashing by you and giving you a smooch on the cheek. It will get easier. I absolutely promise. everyone said that to me re: voldemort...I know it's nowhere near the same situation, but they were right. I can look back and think of men who made me catch my breath with their beauty and élan and today I can smile at the memory, but honestly not give a toss. We progress. We go through the motions a bit, until it becomes habit out of a self-survival necessity... But I promise, I absolutely promise you have made the very best decision for you. You have put yourself first and I high-five you for that.

Right. Practicalities. I am going on a second date tomorrow to namelesseeeses house, because he has chronic fatigue and I wiped him out with the dazzling force of my personality on Wednesday hmm would someone very kindly step up for safety's sake here and let me PM them his address? I don't want to 'real-life' friend this blush I'm going at three... If I don't check in by seven or so, I need someone to phone the rozzers. Anyone?

OhWesternWind Sat 02-Feb-13 19:35:32

I will Snape!

Scrazy Sat 02-Feb-13 19:36:00

Snape of course. PM me. I'm not going out tomorrow afaik so will be around. You are right to stay safe.

mercury7 Sat 02-Feb-13 19:36:40

OD, is a lucky dip, takes alot of dips before you get lucky.

I provisionally have a first date next week, it was going to be today, but I made excuses.

Snape I've gone to someone's house on a second date without any kind of 'safety buddy' back that careless of me confused
are you really worried about the chap?

Middy86 Sat 02-Feb-13 19:38:15

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Snapespeare Sat 02-Feb-13 19:38:30

Thank you both, will Pm you. X!

Snapespeare Sat 02-Feb-13 19:39:44

No, no. Not worried AT ALL. he's a sweetie, I'm just overly cautious! This is just me, I like someone to know where I am.

48howdidthathappen Sat 02-Feb-13 19:40:38

Me too Mercury Well my daughter was supposed to text me but forgot!!

Scrazy Sat 02-Feb-13 19:42:03

Of course he is going to be nice and harmless but someone, one or two of us need to know where you are as you are going to his house and not meeting in a public place. I always tell someone if this happens too.

Middy86 Sat 02-Feb-13 19:44:19

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

48howdidthathappen Sat 02-Feb-13 19:45:06

Oh yes my daughter did have his address, phone no. Wise move.

48howdidthathappen Sat 02-Feb-13 19:47:13

Better get my glad rags on. I look shyte!

Snapespeare Sat 02-Feb-13 19:48:07

Thank you middy- my 'back' is got. My forces of darkness are on alert! wink

Nomorepain Sat 02-Feb-13 20:07:29

I need a bit of excitement!! Still bit gutted over mr complicated but I want to find a new male interest. Pof is rubbish at mo, match is hopeless. Any other ideas? I'm midlands based

Ahhh the Gardener is only 40. That explains why he doesn't have a potato head.

lubeybooby Sat 02-Feb-13 20:30:52

Juliette... whaa? It must have said older on his profile or I wouldn't have picked him

Scrazy Sat 02-Feb-13 20:41:00

Juliette, what age are you interested in?

oops, it's my dyslexia not 40, 48. As you were...

Scazy my minimum is 45, I tend to meet OD men who are later 40s, would like to meet one who is earl 50s. I am 49 or 50 on the sites which is not true but I have enough trouble as it is!

They have to be intelligent and have done something in their lives. I don't care what it is but I tend to go for men who have achieved success on their own terms. Nothing to do with income or fame (ew) but being really good at what they do.

Although if anyone is looking, just a man close to my age who is reasonable looking would be a start grin

lubeybooby Sat 02-Feb-13 21:13:49


VelvetSpoon Sat 02-Feb-13 21:22:52

Cuthbert text me grin grin

I am seeing him next Friday!! Date 5...go me smile

I honestly couldn't be happier.

Snapespeare Sat 02-Feb-13 21:24:54


Very, very pleased for you velvet! grin

lubeybooby Sat 02-Feb-13 21:25:15

Velvet grin

I'd do a cartwheel if i didn't fear for wrist breakage wink

Nomorepain Sat 02-Feb-13 21:27:32

Woweeeeee loving it velvet brilliant, brilliant, brilliant!!!!!

VelvetSpoon Sat 02-Feb-13 21:29:13

Thanks Snape smile

Lubey grin I have never been able to do a cartwheel! I am tempted to do a lap of the lounge punching the air shouting 'Yessss!!'

I honestly wasn't sure if he would text me, much as I hoped the little talk we had about seeing each other more often had worked, I wasnt entirely convinced. But looks like it did and I am just grin

SweetSeraphim Sat 02-Feb-13 21:30:43

Awesome grin

Scrazy Sat 02-Feb-13 21:30:45

Good on ya Velvet.

I'm around that age Juliette but have had a few relationships with men 12 years younger but am looking for someone about my age now. I don't like younger anymore, that's cos they are catching up ha ha. x

watchoutforthatsnail Sat 02-Feb-13 21:33:02

That is just brilliant velvet. Am as happy for you as i would be if it were myself.

OhWesternWind Sat 02-Feb-13 21:36:08

So chuffed for you Velvet!!

SweetSeraphim Sat 02-Feb-13 21:36:17

What a weird weekend it has been on here this weekend. Loads of stuff going on...

I've been keeping an eye on your other thread Lubes, just..... fucking hell.

Cuthbert and Velvet sitting in a tree...

How fantastic grin

watchoutforthatsnail Sat 02-Feb-13 21:38:56

Oh it gets weirder. Ykw has just text to say he is outside my old house!!!!!!!!!!

I hadnt told him i had moved.

Last night, who i shall call goat boy just called me too

SweetSeraphim Sat 02-Feb-13 21:39:09

Juliette grin

You do make me laugh.

lubeybooby Sat 02-Feb-13 21:39:31

I know, SS, I know. MN really is the only thing keeping me sane at the moment (especially this thread for the distraction and lovely support and humour that goes on)

Tech had better not let anything happen to it <cradles pc to bosom, rocking>

Scrazy Sat 02-Feb-13 21:40:38

Crikey Watch, what are you going to say to YKW? Goat boy too?

lubeybooby Sat 02-Feb-13 21:42:06

Watch, good grief re: ykw

SweetSeraphim Sat 02-Feb-13 21:42:51

Who the fuck is goat boy??

Cannot BELIEVE YKW turned up on your doorstep.... and it isn't your doorstep anymore! Hahaaa. grin

VelvetSpoon Sat 02-Feb-13 21:42:54

I still have the weird 'not my type' thing though which is niggling me a bit. Every man I've ever dated (actually not just that, almost all the ones I've ever fancied, pursued etc) has had issues, needed my help with legal stuff, or just organising their life, or whatever. But Cuthbert (leaving aside the depression stuff which I think may have been related to job/home stress and seems all ok now) doesnt. He's nice. Actually he's a lot more than nice, he's really rather lovely.

But the sort of men I date are ones who break bones in their hands punching walls, or have to go to anger management because they can't control their tempers. Or leave jobs because they can't be told what to do hmm

He's not at all like that. Which I know is good. But it will take a little getting used to...

VelvetSpoon Sat 02-Feb-13 21:45:36

omg, Watch - YKW at your (old) house! shock Do you believe him?

What have you said to him - and goat boy?!

Scrazy Sat 02-Feb-13 21:47:16

Velvet, relax, don't read anything into it just enjoy it. Also don't let him hide behind his depression anymore. Please, you have got another date, you've broken all the demons re your past dating history. You deserve it and just enjoy it all. x

Yes Velvet, this just means you have moved on. That, is great news.

lubeybooby Sat 02-Feb-13 21:51:25

Yep, velvet, just enjoy it. Different to the crappier ones of the past is good, really really good. You deserve someone who can add enhance and add wonderfulness to your life, not just be a big walking bunch of anger issues, taking from you.

Wow Pulp and Eddie Izzard in one show - Jonathan Ross unfortunately, but my two most long standing crushes!

watchoutforthatsnail Sat 02-Feb-13 21:56:11

Velvet. Relax. Enjoy it. Dont create issues where there are none smile

I do believe him. Else he wouldnt know ive moved. Apparenlty hes now single. Its also been nearly 2.5 years since ive physically seen him. Meh.

Goat boy is last nights arse.

Russel brand is on jr. Ggggrrrrrr.

SweetSeraphim Sat 02-Feb-13 21:56:57

Jarvis has soooo still got it. Mind you, Eddie's not bad either. But I would also like a go on Russell to be fair.

watchoutforthatsnail Sat 02-Feb-13 21:57:06

Juliette, i love jr. And russel brand. Am as happy as you smile

lubeybooby Sat 02-Feb-13 21:57:23

Ohh I love Eddie Izzard, Juliette.

I had a crush anyway but it's full on actual love since watching his 'Believe' documentary and the virtually impossible mega marathon thing he did for sport relief.

You do all realise it's David Attenborough that would message me don't you?

SweetSeraphim Sat 02-Feb-13 21:59:20

HAHAHAHA!!! grin

watchoutforthatsnail Sat 02-Feb-13 22:00:37

Oh and goat boy made me nearly wee i was laughing so hard.

I dont think hes so bad. Or doesnt have bad intentions. Just isnt for me.

Snapespeare Sat 02-Feb-13 22:00:40

Switched over to rossy on advisement.... DAVID ATTENBOROUGH!!!!!

Snapespeare Sat 02-Feb-13 22:01:49

David Attenborough 30 years ago utterly claims Russell brand btw...

Jarvis has two sons about 6 and 8 and they are like mini him, complete with the glasses. So sweet.

watchoutforthatsnail Sat 02-Feb-13 22:05:36

Yes but russel is just beautiful to look at.

VelvetSpoon Sat 02-Feb-13 22:06:48

I know I'm overthinking it all. But even my lovely Ex, completely lovely as he was, and who never lost his temper over anything, was the one who left his job...

But that's the past, and different is good smile

moving on...

Eddie Izzard does nothing for me, likewise Jonathan Ross.

Jarvis doesn't do much for me either, but I love his music and he is super cool.

I never saw the attraction to RB til I saw Get Him to the Greek, from which point I was utterly converted grin

Scrazy Sat 02-Feb-13 22:07:12

Crazy, brilliant creatures.

watchoutforthatsnail Sat 02-Feb-13 22:08:55

And wossy, with his muskateer look.

Tonights date that didnt reply. Has just text.

Ywk wants me to live with him. ( wtf!!!)

And goat boy has just sent me a naked torso ( pierced nipples and hairy chest)

<head implodes>

Scrazy Sat 02-Feb-13 22:10:24

Watch, you are on a roll, girl.

watchoutforthatsnail Sat 02-Feb-13 22:10:38

Velvet. You are not allowed rb. He is mine. I lay claim to the under 38 year old scruffs smile

watchoutforthatsnail Sat 02-Feb-13 22:11:52

Scrazy. No,im not.
I just want one, one decent, nice one.
Not 3 muppets

Snapespeare Sat 02-Feb-13 22:12:04

Hang on.... Jarvis?


Watch. He's a twatty huge twat.

Scrazy Sat 02-Feb-13 22:14:03

Watch, I know you do smile. But it's nice ego boost and to remind you that you are fabulous and in demand.

Eddie is mine btw

watchoutforthatsnail Sat 02-Feb-13 22:14:32

Which one snape, which one?

Fucking hell. He is 51. See, SEE? THIS is what I expect want

VelvetSpoon Sat 02-Feb-13 22:18:35

hahaha at which one!

Watch, ok I give in, you can have RB, so long as he can sing to me a bit (its the singing that swung it for me!)

<....ponders whether Cuthbert can sing> grin

watchoutforthatsnail Sat 02-Feb-13 22:20:03

In demand by dickheads.

Deep joy.


Ywk is apparently now single. Er, rebound boy can bounce right on by.

Tonights date, igloo builder, we shall see.

goat boy. Hot as fuck. Funny. Not boyfriend material .did i tell you what he was wearing yesterday? Red. RED skinnyjeans. Mother fucking cow boy boots.studded belts. Black band t shirt. Leather cuffs. Eyeliner. I nearly died. He was like some kind of,,i dont know. Who dresses like that. Hot. I do realise i need help.

watchoutforthatsnail Sat 02-Feb-13 22:21:06

He can sing to you velv. I dont want him for his singing smile

Scrazy Sat 02-Feb-13 22:25:15

Blind dates are interesting aren't they. I am very much tuned into body language and it really tells. Today's date was looking out of the window instead of looking at me. We were in a great bar where watching the world go by is prevalent. I turned my chair towards him as I wanted to chat etc, he wasn't hideous and was talking interesting stuff.

Later on he stopped looking out of the window and focused his eyes on me as we had a lot in common. But still didn't ask me much about myself which makes me think he wasn't interested.

It's good to fine tune your instincts isn't it?

I cannot remember a date where I have physically and mentally checked out before it was over. I might be optimistic and hope that by keep looking at them they might say something interesting. grin

Scrazy Sat 02-Feb-13 22:26:57

Fuck, Watch, see I would have bolted with him in that get up.

There is me going all philosophical but crossed posted.

Snapespeare Sat 02-Feb-13 22:28:06

watch. I refuse to differentiate. wink. Twatty mctwatface.

watchoutforthatsnail Sat 02-Feb-13 22:28:35

Scrazy, sounds good.

But. Being intetested doesnt mean they are interested in long term. It might just mean they want to shag you. A la goaty.

and Dolph Lundgren. Another hot man my age, they do exist he looks like my Italian ex.

watchoutforthatsnail Sat 02-Feb-13 22:32:32

Scrazy, no. I love it.

He was like russel brand. But in red jeans.
It does funny things to me.

It would be far easier to not fancy silly boys like that < remembers very attractive bmx rider and snowboarding,guitarist mr epic sex>not best relationship material

Scrazy Sat 02-Feb-13 22:34:34

Oh I know that. Still I like body language, think I might study it further.

Snapespeare Sat 02-Feb-13 22:34:44

Ok. Russell looks hot.

Snapespeare Sat 02-Feb-13 22:35:19

Pity he's got a whiny girl voice... (!)

watchoutforthatsnail Sat 02-Feb-13 22:35:40

Yes. Yes he does.

I luffs him

Scrazy Sat 02-Feb-13 22:35:54

I have visions of RB in red jeans now, damn!

watchoutforthatsnail Sat 02-Feb-13 22:36:06

Be still my beating clit

Scrazy Sat 02-Feb-13 22:36:38

He looks hot!!!!

watchoutforthatsnail Sat 02-Feb-13 22:37:04

And cowboy boots.

I like some proper cowboy boots.

watchoutforthatsnail Sat 02-Feb-13 22:38:15

See scrazy.
Not too disimilar in style.

Has the same beard. And long dark hair too
But alas, was a muppet

Snapespeare Sat 02-Feb-13 22:38:48

I would need a ball-gag. I can't actually listen to him.

Scrazy Sat 02-Feb-13 22:39:34

I don't normally take notice of him is he on the marching powder?

Snapespeare Sat 02-Feb-13 22:40:58

You would think with all that money, he might find a decent tattooist [snob face]

watchoutforthatsnail Sat 02-Feb-13 22:42:54

Clean. Does a lot of anti drug stuff.
Spoke to parliment about it..did a good documentary last summer.
<polishes rb fan club badge>

watchoutforthatsnail Sat 02-Feb-13 22:44:26

I like his wittering.
I might be blinded by his hotness though. As evidenced by last night i am not the best judge of character when someone is really hot.

Scrazy Sat 02-Feb-13 22:48:41

Common Jarvis, todays kids need a working class leftie to put some ideas in their heads. Who does this now?

Scrazy Sat 02-Feb-13 22:51:36

Watch, it's all OK, you have realised this, we all make mistakes and no harm done.

What is that saying, and all will be well etc. I remember someone quoted it on this thread.

watchoutforthatsnail Sat 02-Feb-13 22:53:35

Noone. Its all rap shit.

<puts on 'hits 96' in the cd player>

I saw pulp you know. .. spoke to jarvis too. Back when i was younger and cooler.

watchoutforthatsnail Sat 02-Feb-13 23:15:45

scrazy, ive always done it, and will continue to. am foolish for a bit of scruff.

ike1 Sun 03-Feb-13 00:01:31

I used to like RB but now I find him...sniff....AFFECTED...sniff ...(I have had my head turned by the older gentleman, now, y'know...)

ike1 Sun 03-Feb-13 00:06:38

That bloody Life of Pi is a bit bloody deep innit? Watched it in 3d , had to leave half way through it was giving me sea sickness (true story).

watchoutforthatsnail Sun 03-Feb-13 00:09:04

i am seeing ykw, sat 16th.
as in, two weeks.

at the castle. and same pub i was just at today.

not for shagging, i dont fancy him anymore. not for dating, i dont want to date him. not for arguing, i dont care anymore. but just because.

Snapespeare Sun 03-Feb-13 09:00:36

I'm a bit worried about that watch wont everything come flooding back? you might not fancy him/want to shag him now, but seeing him in person might change that? then again it might be cathartic and nail down the lid for ever....

Flipper924 Sun 03-Feb-13 09:09:23

Oooh, Watch, are you sure that's a good idea?

I saw the beginning of JR and got all excited about his guests, then realised I was too tired and went to bed. I saw Pulp two years ago, and Jarvis solo a few years back. He did a cover of Paranoid. Brilliant. But I've never spoken to him <gives Watch evils>

Ike, I did wonder if that would be the result of 3D.

Yay, Velvet! Woohoo! I am so so so pleased for you. Different to your usual type is good.

So, remind me, who went on dates last night and who has dates today?

Snapespeare Sun 03-Feb-13 09:23:04

I have a date today. really looking forwards to having the std talk.... hmm presuming there is talk of Coffee...

Flipper924 Sun 03-Feb-13 09:46:13

Ah, yes, Snape. You're going to have to give him a name, now, I think. I hope it goes well, I'm sure it will, I have a feeling that you're a good judge of character, and wouldn't be 2nd dating someone if you didn't think they'd respond supportively.

You're due to check in about 5 to avoid calls to emergency services, yes? Just planning my day...

watchoutforthatsnail Sun 03-Feb-13 09:51:14

no, i think it needs to happen. He really needs a friend right now.
I agreed to see him but said that he needed to know that i cant fix his shit. Im not magic, i am not responsible for his shit. It does not mean i want anything to happen, that there are certain things we cannot and will not discuss. and that i dont want to talk about these things while before seeing him.
he has assured me he is now single, but does not want me to think hes come running because he is feeling vunerable. That he understands totally and just wants to see me. He asked if i would meet him at the train station, which might not sound much, but he was the most arrogant man in the world... and he seems so beat he cant even find his way to the pub with a map.

I hadnt spoken to him in ages and ages and i said he needed to know that i dont love him, i did, but i dont. I also told him i didnt want to be judged in any way as i may have put on some weight since i last saw him, he was cross that i could even think that would be an issue, and then said that he had aged... i told him that didtn matter.

Appolgies for bad behaviur on both sides and a general misunderstanding, lust, hindsight and everything..... A strange situation, nearly 4 years in the making.

So, in a way, im hoping its just a nice afternoon and evening. and then thats it. A hug and a goodbye and its all sealed up nice and tidy.

Snape - have a good date smile

lubeybooby Sun 03-Feb-13 09:59:16

Oh watch. I really think you'll regret it. I know there's all the best of intentions there but with a bloke like him I think you're being a little naive/idealistic. Guard yourself hon. And don't let him know where you live now - and be prepared to change your number afterwards.

watchoutforthatsnail Sun 03-Feb-13 10:12:44

im not telling him lubes.

hmmm, you really think? you dont think it will just tie it all up in a good way and be done?

i think the issue is he wont let go because ive become this thing he cant have, who, will make everything better. If he sees that i am not. and cant, then that hold is gone, and he can move on.

Ive moved on, ages ago. But to him, im now on some pedalstall. I dont belong on it. If it were a fing or sometihng, yeah. i could understand, but this is nearly 4 years now, its stupid. It needs a definate end.

48howdidthathappen Sun 03-Feb-13 10:15:03

I think I agree with Lubey The past is best left as that. the past. Your call though Watch

Snape Have a lovely 2nd date.

Go you velvet

lubeybooby Sun 03-Feb-13 10:18:16

Ok that's good re: addy.

I do really think so - there's utterly no need to meet at all for a definite end. The definite end can be you saying via text - look, this is the definite end. No texts, no calls, go away.

It's likely to make it more difficult for him if anything, rather than the neat package you hope for him. Remember what a lot of us were saying about going no contact, and that each contact drags it out and removes the scab that is trying to heal, it's always a setback. Not anything positive. He'll harass the fuck out of you afterwards.

You owe him nothing, especially when it's potentially going to cause you more hassle.

Snapespeare Sun 03-Feb-13 10:18:18

he's not getting a name until our 2nd wedding anniversary! wink grin although, arguably 'nameless' is a name...hmm

I'm aiming to check in around six I think. date is at three.

watch I can absolutely see why you're meeting him...just be on guard, is all. smile I absolutely don't trust him at all from what you've said before & I don't think he deserves your time or sympathy. ...but I understand why you're going.

all will be well...and all will be well... All manner of things will be well... smile

ike1 Sun 03-Feb-13 10:20:57

Snape go for it lovely have a smashing time.....and you Kin....I believe it is today yes??

watchoutforthatsnail Sun 03-Feb-13 10:25:43

i will be on guard. and im not getting involved at all.

I dont owe him anything, i dont want anything from him.

I dont trust him, i would not trust him.

Maybe I need to tie it up and throw it away, neatly then. Or, we both do.
ive done no contact, ive not spoken to him in ages, he just turned up on my old doorstep. I just think, 4 years down the line, being a decent person, that a line needs to be drawn, face to face.

To those that dont know, ive not ever slept with him. A tiny kiss is all that has happened. I was never ' with' him.

lubeybooby Sun 03-Feb-13 10:26:38

Good luck today Snape grin

lubeybooby Sun 03-Feb-13 10:30:52

I really wouldn't meet someone who has showed no respect for your opinion before. To the extent of showing up where he thinks you live.

Having taken no notice of your wishes before, what makes you think he will after meeting, seeing you in person, and being reminded of all the reasons he likes to stalk you?

There won't be a nice neat epiphany for him.

The thing to have done would be completely ignore him saying he was outside your house - failing that you can call it a definite end at any point you like

You do not have to be a decent person, to someone like him.

Nomorepain Sun 03-Feb-13 10:31:03

snape have fun!!! I'm smiley for you

Middy86 Sun 03-Feb-13 10:41:11

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

48howdidthathappen Sun 03-Feb-13 10:49:45

Ok. I would say that by agreeing to meet him, in his mind your actions could be sending the wrong message.

lubeybooby Sun 03-Feb-13 10:53:13

I mean, flip the sexes

Woman who has kissed a bloke once harasses him for four years. Bloke ignores texts and goes no contact.

Woman then shows up outside his house

Bloke would likely call the police, not meet her. Trying to be a decent person.

You can't reason with a bunny boiler no matter what gender they are.

ike1 Sun 03-Feb-13 10:55:16

Yeah its just over romantising a situation which has nothing goin for it I am sorry to say.

ike1 Sun 03-Feb-13 10:57:14

Snape I can see you have offers to check on your well being great!! I will probs be in the cinema again...but I am assuming you have left his addy with someone now?

KinNora Sun 03-Feb-13 11:22:25

Good luck Snape, have a fabulous time.

Meeting Mr Software today but have had a fucking nightmare morning and am going to be delayed so in addition to nerves, I'm stressing about being late - I hate being late. Bastarding hell.
Will update later, I'm going in.

48howdidthathappen Sun 03-Feb-13 11:30:47

Good luck Kinnora Hope your day improves wink

ike1 Sun 03-Feb-13 11:38:01

Yeah ...hope he's worth the hassle Kin! Update us laters.x

lubeybooby Sun 03-Feb-13 11:38:19

Good luck Kin!

KinNora Sun 03-Feb-13 11:46:34

Thanks everyone. < whimpers, feels sick, panics about getting lost in that there London, then spending the afternoon with someone my daughter described as looking 'like Ian Beale'. Kerrrrrrrrist >

ike1 Sun 03-Feb-13 12:01:19

Ian Beale? Errr oh.....

Tamoo Sun 03-Feb-13 12:16:06

Hi everyone, I keep missing the first and last 8 pages of every dating thread, so apologies if I've missed any engagements or elopements unlikely

Mixed bag for me on PoF. I sent a couple of messages because I thought I was being a cowardly dick. One guy had a really friendly, positive profile so I messaged him, basically to say "Your profile is really friendly and positive." He responded with a machine gun barrage of
- Are you just here to chat, most women seem to be timewasters on here.
- What's your name?
- When are we going to meet then lol
- I sense silence...
- Sorry I'm still not clear what your name is???

I ignored. Then next time I logged in,
- Ah, you're back...
- Are you here for anyone special ;-))) xxxx


One guy I was really getting on with, having a nice chat, I decided to ask him for a coffee this weekend and he replies with
- Oh I'd love to but I can't, I thought I told you, I live in Canada?!?!, you didn't tell me, and you profile says you live in my home town? (He's got plans to move here, apparently hmm Shame though as he was the coolest one of the lot.)

A geeky astronomer type who sounds my kind of guy on paper but I've realised in the whole of our exchange he hasn't asked me anything about myself, and I'm struggling with the telescope-related messages from him which all read along the lines of
- oh well, almost time for me to go and adjust the temporal phase range locator on MR7300-ssK15/7, i'm hoping for a resolved definition image string before 0400. Nite! xxx

MsCellophane Sun 03-Feb-13 12:20:09

Good luck everyone having dates today

Watch, I would prob go and meet him too. As long as you have your guards up. Only think I would worry about is if his contact stepped up again as I remember the angst it caused you before

Am on here to stop me saying hi to MrCM as he is online on POF and I really wnat to say... why haven't you contacted me, why did you suddenly decide you didn't want me, why are you still on pof all day, why aren't I good enough

But I won't, I'm typing here instead

Tamoo Sun 03-Feb-13 12:20:23

Oh and I don't know if anyone watched Happy Endings last night, but this morning I got a message from someone who looked exactly like one of the Hipsters grin he sent me a message casually quoting Jean Paul Sartre in a sarcastic sort of way and telling me my "mental warblings" were "wonderful" and "scary".


Nomorepain Sun 03-Feb-13 12:21:54

Jeez tamoo I'm not surprised you are having serious doubts about pof. They are not all like that honestly!! Love that you are sending he messages now though. I have best success when I message them!! The ones that message me are generally chancers or losers!!

Tamoo Sun 03-Feb-13 12:25:46

Yeah the hot ones are still resolutely ignoring my messages though haha

I accidentally clicked on one of those bare chest six pack close up photos yesterday when trying to scroll the site on my phone, I'm gutted that someone's going to think I deliberately went to his profile on the basis of that photo.

48howdidthathappen Sun 03-Feb-13 12:45:49

Stay strong MsC I really don't think it was anything to do with you smile

Watch please don't meet him. I know nothing about this story but the very fact that you felt you had to tell him you don't want any critisism and that you've put on weight speaks volumes about the potential for this giving you grief. He has already got you going to the station to meet him, feeling you have to defend your looks, and showing concern. He will play you. Apart from all that, what Lubey said at 10:30:52.

Kinora good luck, Snape it will be fine, he sounds lovely.

Nomorepain Sun 03-Feb-13 13:15:06

Yesterday on pof there was a pic of a man in the bath with a sponge hiding his tinkle! Shocking!!!

MsC because he doesn't know what he wants. Nothing whatsoever to do with you.

SweetSeraphim Sun 03-Feb-13 13:46:29

Precisely what Juliette said.

You're better off out of it, honestly. I know you liked him but no good can come of it.

Scattylatte Sun 03-Feb-13 13:51:44

Have a great date snape

watch have you more dates lined up, I can't keep track! grin

Well, I had a very nice evening with the fireman on Thursday. We went to the cinema. As always, I try and pay for something but he won't let me. Luckily we went to the non expensive cinema on my suggestion. Our next date is the weekend walking. This will be date number 5 starting just before Xmas which averages about 1 a week. That's good with me. He still isn't a massive texter and I've got used to that and I've learned to just trust in the arrangements.

As for POF...Frustrating. I get so fed up of being asked repeatedly 'what are you looking for?' Then silence or 'ok Hun'. MsCello - most men I've spoken to on there don't want to meet.

SweetSeraphim Sun 03-Feb-13 13:56:05

Oooh Snape, good luck! grin

ike1 Sun 03-Feb-13 13:57:04

The hunners are a pain in the arse....

Middy86 Sun 03-Feb-13 14:00:55

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Snapespeare Sun 03-Feb-13 14:23:28

I'm on the train. texted him eta. he 'cant wait' to see me!

<excited! >

must NOT SHAG HIM. am on period

Middy86 Sun 03-Feb-13 14:30:50

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ike1 Sun 03-Feb-13 14:32:09

OOOh Snapes have you gone 'equipped'!!!!

Snapespeare Sun 03-Feb-13 14:36:43

nope. there will be no penetrative sex.

SweetSeraphim Sun 03-Feb-13 14:38:08

Loving that you make the distinction between penetrative sex and... any other kind of sex grin

ike1 Sun 03-Feb-13 14:42:21

Well indeed SS much 'fun' and Coffee can be had without the old PIV....maybe even some pleasant conversation to!!!

ike1 Sun 03-Feb-13 14:44:00

Off topic.... I dreamed I was a professional ballet dancer last night it was an absolutely fantastic dream! (Off to find out about what is means....)

lubeybooby Sun 03-Feb-13 15:06:15

Oh ike I want your dream! I dreamt that wasps had made an early return and were everywhere, and by summer there would be ridiculous numbers of them. Ugh.

ike1 Sun 03-Feb-13 15:07:21

Oh dear that sounds horrible Lubes.x

lubeybooby Sun 03-Feb-13 15:12:30

Yeah, wasps are probably my top phobia. I was tooootally freaking out!

Snapespeare Sun 03-Feb-13 16:05:10

checking in. all is well. shall report back later. no need to call rozzers. smile

Scrazy Sun 03-Feb-13 16:06:03

Glad to hear this Snape.

OhWesternWind Sun 03-Feb-13 16:10:46

Glad all's well. Looking forward to hearing about it!

KinNora Sun 03-Feb-13 18:07:29

On my way back from London. Breaking news - does not look like Ian Beale. More breaking news - nobody buy a new hat. Lovely bloke, registering a big fat 0.0 on the Nora Shagometer. Now I'm slightly nauseous and very weary as a result of holding up more than my fair share of sparkling conversation.
Hope Snape is getting some action. I'm going to join a nunnery.

I miss Maris.

Middy86 Sun 03-Feb-13 18:17:31

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KinNora Sun 03-Feb-13 18:35:46

Oh no, Middy, it was a nice afternoon, he's a nice man but he failed to butter my parsnips.

OhWesternWind Sun 03-Feb-13 18:42:12

Oh dear I've just had enough. Children, men, mothers, houses, jobs, the whole bloody she-bang. Pmt, should be gone soon I hope as I came on this morning. Do you think I'll feel better tomorrow? Have been lax at taking my b6 and evening primrose oil recently and don't I know it!!

OhWesternWind Sun 03-Feb-13 18:44:47

Nora sorry it was a bit of a dud. I recognise that horrible, low feeling. Hugs.

KinNora Sun 03-Feb-13 18:45:29

I'm sure it will, OWW, it just feels interminable at the time

KinNora Sun 03-Feb-13 18:50:06

Thank you, OWW, I appreciate it. I'm ok, just disappointed, was hoping to feel attracted to him.

OhWesternWind Sun 03-Feb-13 18:50:37

Hope you feel better soon Nora. Long bath and chocolate maybe?

Secretservice Sun 03-Feb-13 18:51:47

Does anyone have an explanation as to why an ODer you haven't yet met, mainly because of logistical issues, but kept in contact on an irregular basis, should text of the blue all chatty, you respond in a like manner and then ....... nothing.

Has happened twice today, well once in the wee small hours, and again this afternoon. Why bother if you don't actually want a conversation? Gah!

Scrazy Sun 03-Feb-13 18:54:09

I haven't heard anything back from my date yesterday. I'm not too fussed about it though, no big loss.

Secretservice Sun 03-Feb-13 18:54:20

Hope you don't have too long a journey home Nora, it's too easy to get sucked into a well of despond after a crap date and a soulless train home. I know that feeling only too well!

Middy86 Sun 03-Feb-13 18:57:20

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KinNora Sun 03-Feb-13 19:02:35

Secret, no, no idea why they do that, it is a bit odd but I don't understand a lot of the things they do.

And no, not a long journey but I do find the tube on a Sunday night a little depressing.

Scrazy Sun 03-Feb-13 19:04:35

Kinora, I miss my ex too, felt like crying earlier it hurts so much.

OhWesternWind Sun 03-Feb-13 19:12:54

Secret There are many, many things that people do that I can't figure out the motivation for at all, and this is one of them. Because they can???

Secretservice Sun 03-Feb-13 19:13:58

middy I suspect you're right. Even called this afternoon's one on it, after he'd asked what I was up to, i replied and then said presumambly you're not up to much either, hence the text! After no response after an hour or so, I texted again 'ah, found something better to do!' I guess that's another one I won't be meeting now!

All this talk of PMT is confusing me - beyond the empathy - don't know whether to be jealous or relieved. Six months period-free, here. Can no longer pretend I'm not menopausal sad

KinNora Sun 03-Feb-13 19:14:19

Oh I'm sorry, Scrazy, have a big hug

Scrazy Sun 03-Feb-13 19:17:15

KinNora, thanks you too.

OhWesternWind Sun 03-Feb-13 19:19:38

Oh Secret be relieved! I have the mirena coil, partly for contraception but mainly because I'd started having horribly long and heavy periods, and I'd really hoped that I'd be one of those women whose periods stop altogether with it. But I wonder if you still get some if the pmt symptoms even if the actual periods stop? They're a lot lighter and getting further and further apart (cue worried poas a fortnight ago!) so I've not given up hope quite yet.

OhWesternWind Sun 03-Feb-13 19:22:43

Exes huh.

Don't miss mine at all but sometimes I really hate him. Can let go of it most of the time but sometimes it still gets me

Missing him would be much worse. Hugs to all of you who are feeling low tonight. I am dispensing hugs left, right and centre tonight but why the hell not? We need more love and kindness in this world.

ike1 Sun 03-Feb-13 19:24:03

OWW yes I understand the pmt thing.....had another good long cry in the cinema to Bull head on my was thoroughly enjoyable in a perverse way. Soz Kin...and commiserate know that fuckin feelin.

Glad you ok Snapes fact I hope you are way more than ok.

Snapespeare Sun 03-Feb-13 19:27:37

I am on the train home. there was kissing! lots and lots of kissing. ..and it was bloody great! grin grin grin grin not gropey, but really....there isnt a word I know for it...kind of respectful and tender, but getting quite heated at the same time.

he likes me! he said so! he wants to know when he can see me again!

(we didn't have the std chat. the kisses were too amazing. ..and there were no hands in pants, so it didn't seem the right time.)

OhWesternWind Sun 03-Feb-13 19:28:30

Yes I am planning a cry in the bath when I finally manage to get dd out of it. (But at least she's washing, which is a whole other thread ...). Might add a bit of alcohol to the mix as well just to make sure I get super maudlin.

How was the fillum?

ike1 Sun 03-Feb-13 19:28:49

I seem to be regularly emerging from the darkness into the blazing light of a jolly arts centre with a big red hooter and tiny piggy eyes....most embarassing when you bump into people you know.

KinNora Sun 03-Feb-13 19:28:53

OWW, I have a Mirena too and I definitely think I still get pmt - I find myself suddenly being all weepy, wonder why, and then my period starts.

Thank you for the hugs. I'm stopping feeling sorry for myself and instead going to focus my energy on wishing that Snape is having is having a fabulous time.

KinNora Sun 03-Feb-13 19:30:09

Huzzah for Snape and Nameless !

OhWesternWind Sun 03-Feb-13 19:30:24

Ooooooh Snape fantastic!! Sounds like the best type of early date.

So happy for you and Velvet and everyone else who things are coming good for.

ike1 Sun 03-Feb-13 19:30:37

Aaaaw Snape so pleased and I couldnt think of such greatness happening for a more deserving person! Cheers m' dear!

OhWesternWind Sun 03-Feb-13 19:33:34

Wonder what's happened to Bant and the lads? All very quiet here recently from a male perspective. Come back, we need you!!

Snapespeare Sun 03-Feb-13 19:33:55

it was face-stroking gazing into eyes kissing!

I'm 45 and that hasnt happened before! kissing for the sake of kissing!!!!

grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin

(quick hug for everyone who is feeling sad/pre menstrual. will catch up with you properly when my hormones calm down a bit)

Scrazy Sun 03-Feb-13 19:36:07

Snape, sounds lovely.

About the only good thing with the M as I can't even type the word is not having to schedule my life around periods, excruciating period pain and pmt avoidance with an erratic cycle which basically meant being on standby or cancelling plans at the worst moments. Being period free is very good indeed won't mention the rest.

Secretservice Sun 03-Feb-13 19:40:21

No confusion at Snape's date envy envy envy envy envy envy envy envy

Oh Snape that is how it should be! Wonderful I am so, so pleased for you! grin

lubeybooby Sun 03-Feb-13 19:42:58

Ahh how lovely, Snape grin what a great update!

OhWesternWind Sun 03-Feb-13 19:44:07

Snape you are a jammy so-and-so and I'm just so pleased for you. So romantic. Wonderful.

Secretservice Sun 03-Feb-13 19:46:18

Oh yes period-free is great, particularly after the nasty, 14-dayers that preceded the end. But I don't want to be ollllddd!

Secret you won't be old. I used to fear being old but someone once said if you were going to be 'old' and get a figure like Pat Butcher you'd be old by now already.

MirandaWest Sun 03-Feb-13 20:16:42

That's lovely Snape smile smile smile

mercury7 Sun 03-Feb-13 20:17:24

I am also very pleased and encouraged by recent success storiessmile smile smile
Infact I've been inspired to text a chap I've been messaging with a proposal to meet for coffee next week...I've been evasive so far wrt meeting him

He's let me into his FB account so I've seen loads of pictures, we've chatted on the phone quite alot but I'm still worried that I'll meet him and just not fancy himconfused

Scrazy Sun 03-Feb-13 20:18:57

Mercury, think positive and enjoy your date.

48howdidthathappen Sun 03-Feb-13 20:19:53

Kin Aww sorry Mr Software didn't cut it.

Snape Wow!!! grin

I am almost period free. Love it! I had years of emotional roller coaster PMT.

watchoutforthatsnail Sun 03-Feb-13 20:20:58

snape fab. great. Awesome.

Velvet, you still on cloud nine?

I was thinking about the ywk thing while at work, trying to decide what was best, i agreed with what you all said iin the end. We had a skype date, which i just logged in for, i was going to tell him i didnt think it was a good idea etc. Instead he cut me off saying he didnt want to talk to me as he was depressed.
So, thats that then, book closed as far as im concerned. No considerations to be made again.

Goat boy has been texting me non stop. For someone that ' doesnt want anything heavy' he fucking contacts me alot. I think i might see him again, give the sex another go.

I was also seen by someone at work on thur, when i was making a show of myself in the street. I was greeted today by rounds of applause by my team. Amusing smile

Middy86 Sun 03-Feb-13 20:21:32

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Watch so ywk saved you the trouble. I love that your team cheered you in grin

watchoutforthatsnail Sun 03-Feb-13 20:31:10

yes, yes he did.

And i loved it too. One woman did a cats bum face, and said ' but you are a grown up, you shouldnt behave like that'

I just laughed and said that i agreed, and that im terrible example of grown up behaviour.


Everyone else was most impressed.

VelvetSpoon Sun 03-Feb-13 20:34:32

Snape thats such lovely news grin really pleased for you.

And Watch I think you've come to the right decision about ykw. You're a nice person and want to treat him kindly, thing is I dont think he is, or that he thinks about anyone other than himself as he proved today. whats the latest with Aussies 1 and 2?

I appear to have some sort of bug. Have had stomach cramps all day, was sick about 3 hours ago (though nothing since). Can't face food. Limbs feel achey a bit like the onset of cold/ sad

However despite feeling rather under the weather, I am still smiling like an idiot about Friday, and every time I remember some of the lovely things he did and said (he even made the bed yesterday morning!) He said that last time he stayed (before Xmas) he absolutely hated leaving me early in the morning...he even felt bad about having to leave yesterday, despite it being nowhere near as early. Am ever so smile and 'awwww' about it all.

I must warn you all, smitten me is probably even more irritating than sad, pessimistic me. I will try and keep a lid on it though!

ike1 Sun 03-Feb-13 20:36:04

....And Velv you are well deserving of some lovely loving too! x

OhWesternWind Sun 03-Feb-13 20:36:48

Oh god, just had a phone call off my mum to say my dd is really upset about me seeing LM, has been asking if we're getting married, worried about moving house and step siblings etc etc, why haven't I addressed this with her, what a cavalier attitude I have and so on.

Now I would just say that my dcs really like LM and his children, think he's really funny, hatch plots and wind-ups with him and generally think the whole thing about me having a bf is hilarious but good fun.

So worried I'd really misread this, so I had a word with dd who confirmed all the above but did say shed asked my mum if she thought me and LM would get married. So I did the whole who knows what the future will bring, I may or may not get married/live with LM or A N Other, but at the moment I have no plans to do anything like that. I asked dd to tell my my mum she's okay with things sometime, so dd has just phoned my mum, and ended up having a huge row and putting the phone down on her.

So now my mum will be not speaking to dd and probably me until at least Wednesday.

I truly, truly can't be arsed.

mercury7 Sun 03-Feb-13 20:36:53

smitten Velvet is goodgrin

Scrazy Sun 03-Feb-13 20:43:45

Velvet and Snape, you both deserve it.

Watch, glad you have had the decision made for you. I know it would be really difficult to see the ex again, it would drag it all up but I don't know if I could refuse if he asks, so understand why you agreed, initially. I also had a sneaking suspicion that you would see goat boy again. It's often the case that they make more of an effort if you don't seem bothered.

OWW, kids do say different things to different people. I found this. I would handle it by saying you will always be number 1 even if it was through gritted teeth sometimes but mine was a nightmare about me having boyfriends, still is, but chance would be a fine thing.

watchoutforthatsnail Sun 03-Feb-13 20:46:20

velvet, be smitten. Its lovely. You deserve it.

Nothing from either aussie. Im not fussed.

and yes, im nice. too nice. But id rather be nice, than an arsehole any day of the week.

western, i expect its just worries over the future etc, and is quite normal. i would just talk to your dd about it and let her know shes as important to you as she always was.

48howdidthathappen Sun 03-Feb-13 20:49:22

I would find it really tough to have a BF if my son was still at home and he is bloody 23!

watchoutforthatsnail Sun 03-Feb-13 20:54:22

scrazy, ywk wasnt even an ex!!

yeah. i was talking to someone at work. I fancy him, i do. He makes me laugh till ive snorted and cried. Im willing to give the sex another go. This is not going to be a long term thing, but one more go, just to see. Could have been it was all abit much and the build up made it worse, if that makes sense.

VelvetSpoon Sun 03-Feb-13 21:02:38

The smitten-ness is distracting me from how crappy I feel so thats good smile

As things stand because Cuthbert says he doesn't want to see me and either not stay or rush off the next morning (and because of our respective DCs) we are probably going to be limited to seeing each other on Fridays...but thats ok, i'm not going to angst over it, once a week is a hell of a lot better than once every six weeks!

Watch, I think you should give goat boy one more try...but if he puts the TV on or asks for food again, bin him immediately!!

OhWesternWind Sun 03-Feb-13 21:03:22

I've phoned my mum and she is apparently angry with me and disappointed and does not want to speak to me. Apparently I should have waited a few days and then gathered the children together on the settee and had a serious but comforting conversation with them. Apparently I am playing games with dds emotions to have just spoken to her normally about it without making it into a Big Thing.

At least dd is okay!

watchoutforthatsnail Sun 03-Feb-13 21:09:52

thats the plan velv, thats what i intend to do. might see him tomorrow. if not sometime this week.

western, mothers, mine in paticular, doesnt react to well to me dating. just tell her its not her business and then change the subject. no point getting in a stress over it.

lubeybooby Sun 03-Feb-13 21:16:01

Watch, oh phew <massive sigh of relief> you have so, so done the right thing. And I agree with velvet about goat boy - try the sexy time thing again but if he turns into arse mode again it's time for goat curry.

OhWesternWind Sun 03-Feb-13 21:17:44

Oh Watch I dunno - you were so adamant after you'd seen him that he'd behaved very badly. Has he apologised at all?

watchoutforthatsnail Sun 03-Feb-13 21:21:57

He did. I dont think it was malicious.
Im not thinking long term. But as a casual thing for a few weeks. Not boyfriend material. But fun company.

If he does the tv thing ill just leave. And hes goat curry!!! ( so funny lubes)

He might have been shattered had worked 16 hrs and then i turned up just as he got home....

How are you lubes and flipper.

lubeybooby Sun 03-Feb-13 21:25:54

I am ok-ish thanks watch. Sipping schweppes ginger for queasiness. Making a few calls tomorrow. Boobs busting out of an H cup confused

watchoutforthatsnail Sun 03-Feb-13 21:26:36

88 texts from him today. I was non contactable for 7 hrs in that time too.

Does that seem like someone who ' doesnt want anything heavy'

Worth another go.

watchoutforthatsnail Sun 03-Feb-13 21:27:17

Will be thinking of you.

catsandmouses Sun 03-Feb-13 21:31:37

Hope you don't mind me asking, but why do you all do online dating rather than meeting people in RL? << silly, naive question from newly single 50 year old who hasn't got a clue how to find a nice man to date >>

Flipper924 Sun 03-Feb-13 21:40:03

Watch, good for you wrt YKW. One more go with Goatboy can't hurt, though I'd be wary of someone sending such mixed messages.

Aww, Snape, you've made me feel all warm and fuzzy. [warm and fuzzy smiley]

Sorry he wasn't what you'd hoped for, Nora, onwards and upwards, eh?

Am also feeing pukey, but eating or drinking anything is helping. Boobs had lost their soreness yesterday, but it's returning again (actually filling an A cup completely rather than partially :-p), but still spotting on and off. Have no idea how to feel, so you've all been an excellent distraction. Work will help with that tomorrow.

OhWesternWind Sun 03-Feb-13 21:40:49

88 texts!! How many did you send him? Just being nosy here. I am way out of my texting league here!

Flipper924 Sun 03-Feb-13 21:46:24

Hello,*Cats*. For me, I started OD when I realised that I'd been single for a year, and in all that time hadn't met a single, single man of a suitable age. Not one, and I'm no shrinking violet. It's not like I even meet them but put them off, or am too picky, there's none to pick from! So OD widens my opportunities.

ChooChooLaverne Sun 03-Feb-13 21:46:26

Oh Gawd, hello all. I've been lurking for a while and have finally taken the plunge and signed up with Love and Friends - has anyone tried this site?

They keep sending me messages saying that someone has tagged me but they don't tell you who but instead give you a choice of four potatoes men and if you tag one and it happens to be the one who has tagged you then you have a, er, match.

I'm 43 and have been honest with my age and out of about 30, 29 of these men have got to be in their late 50s - at least. And I can pretty much guarantee that the one who has tagged me is that one, every time.

Should I have lied about my age?

Snapespeare Sun 03-Feb-13 21:49:55

watch you are going to shout at me, but I mean this with kindness.

Fist-bump for ykw. Do you think giving goat boy another go might be as a reaction to rejection of ykw? I'm asking because i don't want to see you waste time on post coital man vs food.

watchoutforthatsnail Sun 03-Feb-13 21:51:50

Probably about the same. Just chatting back and forth.. constantly

Its been like that from the beginning. More yesterday . Plus 2 phone calls.

Im not reading it as mixed messages, hes
Spoken, ive listened. Its a fling. But its a lot of contact for a fling!!!

Catandmouse. Rl dating opps are tiny. Working, limited socalising time, friendship groups that dont include singles etc..

watchoutforthatsnail Sun 03-Feb-13 21:54:04

No. I already decided to see goat boy again when he made me laugh so much a tiny bit of wee came out. This was before i even heard from ywk .

Hes just been relegated from boyfriend matetial to shag piece smile

catsandmouses Sun 03-Feb-13 21:57:54

Thanks for that Flipper924. I'm currently joining leisure/activity things to broarden my social circle and also thinking it might bring me into contact with some men. But who knows? A year on, I might be doing online too. I did it years ago but it took up a lot of head space and I don't want that again. But I think this thread is great smile

Snapespeare Sun 03-Feb-13 22:02:03

Ok watch. Just please promise you won't take any shit. :-)

Lovely texts from nameless. <sigh> I'm kind of thinking I might pop by one evening in the week. Maybe.

watchoutforthatsnail Sun 03-Feb-13 22:10:52

Course i wont.
I didnt when i was there anyway.

Im certainly not going to if im thinking of it as a casual thing.

ike1 Sun 03-Feb-13 22:39:35

do it Snape! do it Snape!

48howdidthathappen Sun 03-Feb-13 22:43:39

Cat I did OD for a few months after ending my LTR, just as a bit of fun, to fill the empty space. Met about 5 men.
Met a chap in RL. He was off to OZ for 6 months, due back end of March. Missed him more than I thought I would. Went back to OD 2 months after he left for a week. Met Mr Fucked up, had a brief fling, binned him.
Then met Mr R&R in RL just before christmas. Still with him smile

ike1 Sun 03-Feb-13 22:46:04

48 tell me to mind my own biz...but what are you going to do about Mr R&R when Mr Oz reappears?

48howdidthathappen Sun 03-Feb-13 22:58:37

Ike Honestly I have no idea. I was going to write to Mr OZ after christmas when he sent me a card with his address. I didn't have his address before, another 'no pressure guy'. Then my mum had the stroke. Mr R&R has been fantastic about all the crap in my life. I think alot of him.

I have been pondering what to write to Mr OZ. I really should tell him I am involved with another man. I didn't make him any promises. I feel bad about the whole situation sad

48howdidthathappen Sun 03-Feb-13 23:01:36

I haven't told Mr R&R about Mr OZ either. Its a fucking mess.

ike1 Sun 03-Feb-13 23:02:03

I dont think there is anything to feel bad about 48. These things happen, no promises made. Does Mr R&R know about Mr Oz?

48howdidthathappen Sun 03-Feb-13 23:05:24

x posts. I am doing what drove me nuts about my ex. Burying my head in the sand.

48 it's not March yet. Anything can happen between now and then.

ike1 Sun 03-Feb-13 23:12:46

True are a lady that talks sense.

VelvetSpoon Sun 03-Feb-13 23:14:13

Snape am smile for you re the lovely texts. You definitely should pop round to see him!

VelvetSpoon Sun 03-Feb-13 23:16:59

Still feeling somewhat green around the gills, dont think I will make it to work tomorrow. Thankfully I finished one report on Fri, and the important stuff I have to do this week doesnt start til Weds. Really hoping I am better by then!

ike1 Sun 03-Feb-13 23:18:07

I just have to say ..that despite some doom mongering that we are all guilty actually fact OD is producing some quite reasonable result, even if it has taken a while in some cases..

48howdidthathappen Sun 03-Feb-13 23:26:45

I still feel a bit dishonest Juliette I guess you are right though.

KirstyWirsty Sun 03-Feb-13 23:43:56

48 have you lied to anyone?? No!

velvet glad things are going well with cuthbert

snape woo hoo!

Waves to everyone else !!

Where is yoga

OhWesternWind Mon 04-Feb-13 00:45:26

48 it will all work out. Who knows what will happen in the next couple of months?

Velvet hope you're feeling better soon, but a couple of days off work will perk you up ready for Friday.

Ike yep we're not doing too badly on here at the moment, are we?

Can't get off to sleep tonight, bit upset by the row with my mum. I hate arguments! Seeing lovely LM on Wednesday, just going to go with the flow and see where things take us over the next couple of months. Am hoping for a nice, calm week next week, that's all I want at the moment.

48howdidthathappen Mon 04-Feb-13 05:21:16

Been awake on and off since 3am, the only issue I get through the menopause. Pisses me off! angry

I am going to write to Mr OZ. Going to tell him about my mum and general stuff. Not going to mention about meeting up in March. Keep it low key. It would be so much easier if he met someone else. Which is what I wanted for him, only 41 with no kids.

I really like Mr R&R. He is wacky, passionate and great fun. I feel completely relaxed in his company, like I have known him forever.
Mr R&R hasn't got kids, but at 48 had already accepted that boat had sailed.

Wonder what the the odds are at my age of meeting 2 men that have never married or had kids. Both get me too!

Flipper924 Mon 04-Feb-13 07:11:23

velvet, hope you're feeling better soon. A day in bed sound in order.

48, where are you finding the decent 40+ single men???

Snapespeare Mon 04-Feb-13 08:10:30

oww. Hope things get a little brighter today. smile

choochoo. I nipped off two years in age, I could maybe pass for 39 if one is drunk & squints, but I thought it slightly more honest to shave a couple of the original profile was the stupid pointless honey trap, so it was for evil purposes anyway. I get loads of messages from blokes in their late fifties/early sixties. As a very general rule women tend to look after themselves a bit better as they age. (Some!) men just embrace spreading waistlines an carpet slippers...

lubeybooby Mon 04-Feb-13 08:28:08

Morning all

<looks down at self embracing spreading waistline and carpet slippers at 32>

<vows to wear corset and heels and full make up tomorrow just for the hell of it>

Snapespeare Mon 04-Feb-13 08:37:41

<hands mug of sweet tea>

<glances downwards at wrinkly Nora batty style pink socks>

Walkacrossthesand Mon 04-Feb-13 08:37:53

Morning all! <waves at thread>. 48 - <Mr R&R hasn't got kids, but at 48 had already accepted that boat had sailed> - ha! My 3 year LDR that ended a couple of years ago was with a 46 year old who still saw children as part of his future, which was one of the reasons he wouldn't see a future with me. So I'm mostly on the sofa but usually got a profile up on one site or another - sofa status is because I get replies only from much older guys that I just can't fancy. Maybe one day....

Voice wishes to state here that regardless of waistline, he has slipper socks and not proper carpet slippers and that most people guess his age at 32/33 when he is almost 39.

48howdidthathappen Mon 04-Feb-13 09:02:58

Flipper In the most unlikely places grin

Walk Mr R&R did plan on having children with his only live in girlfriend 10 years ago. It turned out she couldn't have children sad I haven't asked anymore than he has offered.

48howdidthathappen Mon 04-Feb-13 09:07:20

I don't own slippers. Love being barefoot.

Good news! This weekend I learned that a woman had a crush on me.

OhWesternWind Mon 04-Feb-13 09:15:01

Ooh Voice do tell . . . Is she nice? And does the past tense indicate that this is now over and done with or are there possibilities here?

48howdidthathappen Mon 04-Feb-13 09:15:39

Voice Where is she? Any chance of getting it together?

lubeybooby Mon 04-Feb-13 09:17:53

Oooh voice! Yes do tell

Bad news! I can't abide her.

Even more bad news! She only had a crush on me during a play we were both doing. Not during rehearsals, just the actual performance week when I had changed my hair from dark blond to black, wore nothing but black and had to behave extremely arrogantly and full of myself.

There are very, very few people I can't tolerate. Fingers on one hand. She's one of them.

Flaming typical or what? I don't know whether to be pleased that after all this time someone found me fanciable, annoyed that it was someone I don't like, or thoroughly pissed off that I am only fanciable when being someone other than me.

lubeybooby Mon 04-Feb-13 09:20:47


48howdidthathappen Mon 04-Feb-13 09:24:22

You said it Lubey

watchoutforthatsnail Mon 04-Feb-13 09:31:43

that is as typical as finding someone really hot, who clearly fancies you and you fancy them, but they dont want anything heavy.


Im fucked off today. YWK texted about 11 saying sorry for earlier, but he had just spoken to his parents. I sent a text telling him it was very clear that he does indeed use me when he is feeling vunerable, i will not be meeting nor speaking to him again, but wish him well. Luckily i havent heard anything back.

Goat boy was texting all evening. If im honest, i am fucked off about it. Not about the texting, and not about him persay, but just the typicalness of the situation. So predictable.

Also, i forgot, but remembered a woman at work at lunch, who is new on match ( EVERYONE at work is on a dating site) shes not had any dates yet, we were having a natter. I said i had been seeing somone last summer and then somone for a month or so after than... and do you know what she said?
' your poor child'

One, she doesnt even know how old my child is, or how long i have been single, or even if dd met any of these men. Furious at the judgement. More furius as she is also a single mother to teenagers.

So yeah, fucked off. Hugely.

In other news.... I was going to go and audition for another show I wanted to do but was a bit put off by the fact that my emotionally abusive ex is involved. Got myself in the frame of mind to think "sod it" when a friend tells me she's got herself a bloke. And he is also involved in the same show. Now I don't want her back, and couldn't care less that she's got someone and I haven't. Bitch. I am amicable if we happen to bump into her for politeness and the sake of our mutual friends. But I don't know if I want to see her and new bloke a couple of times a week for four months.

Anyway, having heard all this news and spent another Sunday on my own and seeing no one – understandably, all my friends do family things on Sundays, even my few single ones without their own kids – I decided that I would put a profile back on POF. It’s been over six months, I loathe OD, but I see no other options for me. Did a search and I didn’t find one woman I found attractive within a 50-mile radius. I'll leave it up there for a while, at least by doing that it's a sort of positive step to trying to at least get a date.

I do SUCH a good line in self-pity! Good job I’m an actor and can hide it in real life! smile

watchoutforthatsnail Mon 04-Feb-13 09:34:12

oh and some man, has been messaging me for ages. hes 45 and 5ft 3. i am not going to date him.
He told me he went on a date but the woman just wasnt genuine at all. Ive asked how can he tell and what constitutes a genuine person, and genuine behaviour.
i expecting some drivel back. then i shall block.

watch - unbelieveable, innit? Not surprised you're fucked off. What a ridiculous and appalling thing for that woman to say! I'd lump her in with the fuckers, too. Take heart from the fact that you've had dates and she hasn't. She's obviously just a jealous, dried up and bitter woman!!

watchoutforthatsnail Mon 04-Feb-13 09:35:41

er, voice, why is she a bitch if shes found someone and you havent?

hardly fair and not very nice really.

watchoutforthatsnail Mon 04-Feb-13 09:37:21

its not about point scoring with dates though, is it.
Number of dates means absolutley nothing.

Snapespeare Mon 04-Feb-13 09:40:20

shock at the 'your poor child' comment!

Watch - I was being amusing. Although, as she was emotionally abusive towards me, tried to diddle me out of money when the house was sold, blanked and was rude to previously mutual friends to their face, I actually don't care about not being particularly fair or not very nice about her.

And as you earlier called people fuckers, one could say "pot" and "kettle"!

Scrazy Mon 04-Feb-13 09:47:37

Voice, after not hearing back from a guy I met on Saturday, I thought 'that's it. I'm hideous, I won't do anymore blind dates' but what is the alternative. Spending the rest of my life without?

Watch, ignore that woman and feel pleased when she starts getting mucked around from Match.

With goat boy I would be on my guard, tbh, not worth getting involved with someone who is clearly stating he only wants casual, they often give mixed messages but if they say they don't want anything more they usually mean it. If you think you can handle it, fine, but it sounds like he is already annoying you.

watchoutforthatsnail Mon 04-Feb-13 09:52:56

people are fuckers because they are rude.
not because they havent done anything wrong by moving on and finding a new partner after you have split.

Scrazy - indeed, have you still not heard anything? its frustrating, sorry. Ive had years of it.

Also, that woman, by the law of sod, will find someone lovely on the first date!

No, ive listened and am aware, its fine. i dont want to date him anyway, but its just the typicallness of the situation thats fucked me off. not him.
Just, i never fancy someone, i never have fireworks,and when i do, its not going to go anywhere. it would be funny, except its not.

Scrazy Mon 04-Feb-13 09:58:18

Watch, no, nothing and it really isn't because I liked him etc, there wasn't any chemistry, but he is local and I thought a polite text would be in order. I might bump into him, again. Next date will be with someone not on my doorstep just in case.

ThatsNice Mon 04-Feb-13 09:58:33

Don't often post but as I have a date lined up this week with an od guy, thought I'd share. Trouble is, I have s niggle about him I can't shake off. Back story, I chatted to him a little this time last year (before I started a relationship with someone else). I let the chat drift and we didn't maintain contact. Fast forward to now. He started chatting to me again. I remember him, he doesn't remember me. My pics are recent tho. His are not which was why I remembered him! He is hugely fanciable. But. I suspect he may be a player. He never calls me by my name. It's always lass, m'lady etc. maybe so he doesn't mix his lady friends names up? Ack. I'm not normally suspicious and suspecting that men in od sites are players but he has my spidey se senses twitching hmm I am thinking of pulling out if the date, as I fear I may spend the evening watching for signs of being played and being suspicious of possibly innocent remarks, gestures etc. I am aware I may also just be cutting my nose off to spite my face... big sigh I'm not normally this pessimistic, rather the opposite, so I'm pissed off with myself. Do I shake it off and just go, or listen to my spidey senses and call it off.. :-/
Oops that was a long one..sorry hmm

48howdidthathappen Mon 04-Feb-13 09:59:20

Voice I can see you were deeply hurt by your former partner. Maybe too soon to pick the scab.

Are there any other shows you fancy?

watchoutforthatsnail Mon 04-Feb-13 10:01:26

nice - spidey senses are there for a reason.

scrazy - ah yes, the joys of bumping into a date at some point in the future. usually when you have nipped into tescos in your jogging bottoms with no make up.

48howdidthathappen Mon 04-Feb-13 10:05:57

Scrazy I would send him a nice 'thanks but no thanks' text. No reason why you can't tie it up neatly.

Nice I would trust your gut. He can't even be arsed to use your name.

48 - oddly enough I was totally fine about the ex until she started being nasty to my friends last summer. I deliberately only told about 3 people what went on because I didn't want people to have to 'take sides' but stay friends with both of us if they so wanted. She said she wanted us to remain friends - or at least very amicable - and I thought that was sensible and adult because it's not a huge town and because of mutual friends. But I'm afraid that goes out the window when you are nasty and rude to my friends, people I care about and who treated her very well when we were together. Blanking people to their face is not on.

Sadly, there's nothing else going on of interest at all, so I may just have to try and suck it up, otherwise I will have sod all to do for the next four months and that's not terribly healthy.

That'sNice - I think we should always listen to our spidey senses. Perhaps meet up for a short coffee and see if the spidey sense continues to tingle. Keep your concerns in the back of your mind so you aren't swept away just by him being fanciable.

OhWesternWind Mon 04-Feb-13 10:12:36

Voice to be honest, it doesn't seem like a good plan to get involved in the production with your ex and her new bf. It would be difficult under any circumstances, I think, and particularly if you are feeling a bit low. Putting a profile back up is a positive step. Go for it, get messaging and see what happens. Wishing you loads and loads of luck, you're another one that really deserves a break.

ThatsNice - well, to be honest, I'd go. It's only one date and it's a lot easier to judge these things in person than via text/messaging. I wouldn't worry about the name thing either - I rarely use people's names in texting/messaging even if I know them very, very well. I call my friend of twenty or so years Missis etc.

ThatsNice Mon 04-Feb-13 10:14:05

48 - that does actually piss me off. Quite a lot.

Voice - I think that's what I'm bothered about, being swept away as it is rare I fancy someone like this, let alone from the poor gene pool currently in my area! Think I'd be gutted to fall for him only to find out I'd been played. I know I'm looking far to far ahead and I don't normally. I'm very ce la vie, so this is unsettling me. Maybe someone could look at his profile for me and see what they think?

lubeybooby Mon 04-Feb-13 10:16:22

Definitely go with the spidey sense. Absolutely. Always!

lubeybooby Mon 04-Feb-13 10:17:56

It isn't not using the name that would set mine off. It's not remembering having spoken to you before.

ThatsNice Mon 04-Feb-13 10:20:40

Lubey, it is a different profile to be fair but the info and my blurb would have been very similar..

48howdidthathappen Mon 04-Feb-13 10:23:52

Lubey Good point. Mr FU tried chatting to me first time around. Contacted me first day I was back after several months. He remembered me. Still turned out to be an arsehole grin Minefield!

lubeybooby Mon 04-Feb-13 10:27:10

ThatsNice You would have remembered him with a different profile, betcha betcha!

ThatsNice Mon 04-Feb-13 10:28:21

It's interesting that I think I'm actually looking for reasons to cancel rather than reassurance.. We have an evening date. Think I'm going to cancel it and see if he's up for rearranging to an afternoon coffee date. I can easily cut it short then if needs be. Or let it drift on into the evening if its going swimmingly wink

48howdidthathappen Mon 04-Feb-13 10:29:06

Lubey Mr FU had a different profile. I remembered him.

ThatsNice Mon 04-Feb-13 10:31:17

Yes I think I would lubey. He is quite distinctive, looks, likes, way he writes etc. i think maybe I have played down my irritation at him not remembering by rationalizing I am not that distinctive, anything special etc. bad me for letting the negative self talk win!! kicks own ass

lubeybooby Mon 04-Feb-13 10:40:55

No definitely don't play down the irritation. I would be really offended. Even recently, four years on from first online dating, I still remember some blokes from way back then (who have different profiles)

It wouldn't say to me that you aren't distinctive, it would say he's messaged so many he has no idea anymore.

That could be a player thing, or it could just be he's been trying very hard (too hard maybe) or maybe got a bit carried away with the sweetshop thing and has (maybe) now calmed down.

watchoutforthatsnail Mon 04-Feb-13 10:44:41

agree with lubey.

also agree with lubey. Having gone back on POF I can see profiles that I've seen before and have been there at least 2 years. Even if photos have changed a bit.

Snapespeare Mon 04-Feb-13 10:54:20

in other news, I am like a tightly coiled spring today. very, very clever nameless has left me with the absolute horn after an hour and a half of kissing. i need to clean the oven or something to take my mind off of him things. must distract self. no guarantee he'll remain interested after STD chat.

[cold shower]

watchoutforthatsnail Mon 04-Feb-13 10:58:42

be careful snape, you will be abondaning shopping and coming out with only rum and condoms next.

Snapespeare Mon 04-Feb-13 11:06:19

I must maintain standards! grin shall go and buy over cleaner! grin

I need to read-up on m.e./CFS. I don't want to break him... blush I'm thinking the old PIV might wipe him out a bit anyway, blush so he might actually be the ideal match for my genital-lurgy... [wetfish]

ike1 Mon 04-Feb-13 11:06:50

Things are getting ridiculous in my dreams. I dreamed this last night:
Decided that it would be a great idea to get a 3 way mortgage on a totally unsuitable flat with Torso Rubber and Sonia from Eastenders. I was obviously very concerned about this in the dream beause, well, it was TR and Sonia from Eastenders!! Why would I be???? And i had never seen the flat. Plus the moving in date was very close! Lots of boring detail about mortgages! Now what the hell could that all mean?????

mercury7 Mon 04-Feb-13 11:09:47

ridiculousness tends to be a predominant factor in dreams wink

ike1 Mon 04-Feb-13 11:15:57

yes....although my confusion, sense of forboding and the silly complexity of it is telling me something too

ike1 Mon 04-Feb-13 11:17:35

Dunno where Sonia from Eastenders came from though.....

ike1 Mon 04-Feb-13 11:29:42

I tell you what it means.....I need to get a life and do some research!!!

mercury7 Mon 04-Feb-13 11:35:31

I dream alot about different flats & houses, amalgamations of various places I've lived in.

Re men and aging, since they have thicker skin (more collagen) facial aging out to be less for men than for women (?) but then women are probably much better with the sunblock & the moisturising!

Most men with ages given as 40 + on dating sites appear to have knocked 5-10 years off, thats surely why all the 40+ men look bad for their age?

Deducting 1 or 2 years to keep you in a decade or half decade is one thing, but few people past 45 TRULY look 10 years younger, unless they've had 'work'...dont you think??

I see very few men in good shape physique wise of any age, a youthful body can be maintained with healthy livin' but there aint much you can do about the whole crows feet and jowls problem sad

watchoutforthatsnail Mon 04-Feb-13 11:36:30

smile ike

Feel the same tbh. After a very exciting few days, today feels awfully flat and isnt helping my mood either. I suspect its a come down off endorphines. Damn things.

brain keeps telling me im crap and how there must be something up with me to have been single for so long etc... etc. heart knows otherwise. Im sure tomorrow when im back at work ill feel better.

Did you do anything with the volunteering you mentioned before?

watchoutforthatsnail Mon 04-Feb-13 11:38:48

mercury - that might be why i struggle to find anyone over 35 on od attractive, because they are all way older than that actually.

I had a quick look at the under 30's and its much better. I might close and then re open a new profile at some point.

Walkacrossthesand Mon 04-Feb-13 11:40:30

48, my caustic 'ha!' a few pages back was aimed at my recent ex, whose desire for children at age 46 is, I fear, a fantasy in the context of him having only had 2x 3year relationships, both of which ended because of his inability to commit. Unlike your Mr R&R. Apologies for any offence caused.
watch - what a snide remark from your work colleague!
Others - I get a little bit of satisfaction from seeing active profiles of guys my age that caught my eye a couple of years ago, I emailed them and they didn't reply - have resisted temptation to message them again pointing out that they might not still be looking if they bothered to reply to messages smile...

watchoutforthatsnail Mon 04-Feb-13 11:43:30

others, yeah, i know.
Also, re profiles, there are plenty still active from when i first started, there are a few ive had good dates with. Gallingly, there is one i really fancied, who i had 3 dates with, he made all the moves, i did not sleep with him, but eventually kissed him, and he dumped me there and then. nice. Still online, same profile, 3 years on.

ike1 Mon 04-Feb-13 11:46:39

Yeah I already volunteer for a welfare charity....keeps my benefits knowledge up to date for the degree and I have an informal interview for the Art centre stuff tonight. Who knows what it all means!! Too much navel gazing!

It's occurred to me that many of the OD men over 50 are really mostly over 60. Nothing else could really explain the apparent dramatic decline. There are attractive men in their 50's, they just don't seem to be OD because they are at least 10 or 15 years older. That would explain why there are comparatively a lot of attractive men under 45.

ike1 Mon 04-Feb-13 11:48:28

I think I would feel a whole lot better if I structured myself properly...given half a chance I m a lazy git!

ike1 Mon 04-Feb-13 11:51:06

Its true re men and age TR is on OKC age 33 ...he is nearly 44 ffs....I do laugh at him for it...apparently he had a date with a 21 year old...she was keen he wasnt...yeah a likely story!!

Voice I do remember during a carnival party years ago almost every single woman in the place had the hots for a man strutting about dressed as a nazi officer hmm. I still have no idea what was going on there.

I also think getting involved in a production where your exW is would be horrible. You wouldn't be able to relax plus there is a possibility of her acting up (literally).

Walkacrossthesand Mon 04-Feb-13 11:54:27

Exactement, Juliette - the '55 year old ' men are over 60, and the truly 50-55's seem largely to be looking for under-50's so I guess profiles like mine just don't show up on their searches. There's an interesting article on OKC about this - with graphs an all.

ike1 Mon 04-Feb-13 11:56:42

Juliette nooooo a nazi officer...whaaaaaat??? See I would be thinking 'who is that repugnant cock!?'

mercury7 Mon 04-Feb-13 12:01:02

'age 33 ...he is nearly 44 ffs'
that is CRAZY shock Ike
then again, I can see how it might happen...say he's 41 and he knocks a couple of, because 39 sounds so much better!
With each passing birthday he shaves off a bigger and bigger slice until he truly believes he could pass for 33 when he's 44

As for the 'poor child' comment directed at Watch upthread, did the woman think she was in a Dickens novel and Watch had sent her offspring up chimneys grin

watchoutforthatsnail Mon 04-Feb-13 12:01:44

this man, for example, is not 40

ike1 Mon 04-Feb-13 12:04:18

I know and the cheeky effer really thinks he can pull the 26 year olds....look at his age specifications ffs!

Snapespeare Mon 04-Feb-13 12:04:49

Oh bless him, he's five foot our as well. Must have had a hard life! (& I was sodding well signed in, so he's seen me check him out...)

Walk yep, I've seen that article its very depressing as somewhere there is also an attractiveness scale and I came out something like 10% purely because age overrides the other considerations. That was a bit of a shocker.

Ike exactly, it was a very weird night, followed by the realisation a couple of days later that that the same man was a mild mannered polite guy that no one had noticed before.

Also in mitigation of the Nazi, there was a bit of poetic licence with a rather impressive naked chest under an overcoat.

ike1 Mon 04-Feb-13 12:07:35

.....and me Snape ....he must be wondering why these hot alternative babes are ogling his adonis -like self

48howdidthathappen Mon 04-Feb-13 12:07:53

Walk No offence. I got you smile

See all the over 40s I met were honest about there age. Maybe it was because I had my search set at over 45. They didn't register on my radar.

Mr R&R dreamt about him and me. It wasn't sexual either confused

ike1 Mon 04-Feb-13 12:11:23

Its still an odd thing to do though Jule...even with irony ...there is that film The Night Porter with Dirk Bogarde and Charlotte Rampling ....he was probs trying to channel that ....if not it speaks of that other overly entitled cock Prince Harry (and that is deffo not a a good look)

48howdidthathappen Mon 04-Feb-13 12:12:10

Snape He will think its his lucky day! grin

mercury7 Mon 04-Feb-13 12:15:30

interesting ok cupid blog article, but I'd say alot of it counts as opinion more than's her interpretation of the data, and she will to some extent have selected the data to support her pre existing beleifs.

Anyway, I get tons of offers from much younger mengrin

watchoutforthatsnail Mon 04-Feb-13 12:17:50

oh no, i love prince harry. hes lovely. i would.