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Hope on a Rope - J and J needs some support please.

(191 Posts)
lazarusb Wed 02-Jan-13 18:38:32

Hello everyone. J and J has PMed me and asked me to start this thread for her. She is going to try and check in soon. Unfortunately her dh is ill again, I don't know details but she appreciates all messages and support we can give her again. She is so grateful for all the support she received last year and is sorry she didn't make it back onto the thread before it filled up.

So, hope to see all your friendly faces back on here again soon!

ladyWordy Wed 02-Jan-13 19:32:23

I remember Hope on a Rope.

Sorry to hear things haven't been going so well. Here when you need us, JandJ.

I don't know if I ever posted on J and J's threads (there are so many others who put things far better then i can) but I remember them well and was very moved by her bravery through such a difficult time. I'm sorry to hear that her DH is Ill again.

My thoughts are with you J&J.

MushroomSoup Wed 02-Jan-13 23:09:17

I remember the unfortunately abbreviated HoaR thread. Sending love to J&J and her husband.

HappyNewSkyebluesapphire Wed 02-Jan-13 23:13:54

I'm here too.

Callingizzy !

MerlotforOne Wed 02-Jan-13 23:18:21

Thinking of you J and J.
brew thanks

AutumnDreams Wed 02-Jan-13 23:20:31

So sorry that J has further worries. Do send her my love if you are in touch again Laz, and tell her that we are here when she needs us.

Has anyone heard from Sad Widow, regarding the Quilt of Love?

HappyNewSkyebluesapphire Wed 02-Jan-13 23:44:51

I put a message in the other forum but haven't had a response

foolonthehill Wed 02-Jan-13 23:47:02

Ah, JandJ a few foolish thoughts and prayers for you.
Actually they never stopped, though the thread ended.

lazarusb Fri 04-Jan-13 18:59:02

So lovely to see you all again here, wish it was in better circumstances. Thank you for posting, I'm sure J & J will appreciate it.

Autumn I PMed SW and also posted in the other place but am still here, hanging onto my square. I know she was away for a while at Christmas so hopefully she will be in contact soon.

fool I hope you got the plumbing sorted out and had a nice Christmas. I thought of you all over Christmas, I was a bit sad when the other thread ended...maybe I need to get a life!? grin

Take care everyone, thank you again for being here.

amillionyears Fri 04-Jan-13 19:04:22

Not come across J & J before, but I hope her DH gets better soon x

FancyPuffin Fri 04-Jan-13 19:41:05

<Checking in>

I posted on the other thread a little.

JandJ really sorry to hear your dh isn't too well.

Am offering an ear to listen a hand to hold and some positive vibes for you both.

HappyNewSkyebluesapphire Sat 05-Jan-13 00:02:15

JandJ - thinking of you and I hope that whatever you are going through is temporary.

lazarusb Sat 05-Jan-13 18:27:00

Good to see posters old and new smile I've PMed Homebird & dondon to alert them to this new thread as they were regulars on the other one. Not sure whether to PM SW as she has been very quiet for a while and I don't want to pressure her if she's up to her ears...opinions gratefully received!

Homebird8 Sat 05-Jan-13 21:43:56

Thanks Lazarus for the PM and lots of love to J&J when you have moment to drop in. You know we will be here for you.

I think a gentle note to SW would be nice. She would want to feel invited but I know she will know we understand if RL is keeping her busy at the moment. We've all been here for each other really haven't we?

And to those of us who are posting for the first time for J&J, all are welcome here.

dondon33 Sat 05-Jan-13 23:01:05

<found you phew!!> Thank you lovely Lazarus for leading the way.

Hi all wine checking in to the new thread.
J and J so sorry your DH is not well again, hope it's nothing too serious after all he's just been through. I hope you all had a lovely Xmas together.

I was thinking of SW the other day, wondering if she enjoyed her Xmas stay at Saltburn.

AutumnDreams Sun 06-Jan-13 00:09:17

Hi everyone, It`s so lovely to have this thread back! Thanks Laz, you`re a star. Homebird, I hope you`re all walking unaided again. That Dondon has found suitable nipple warmers, and that Fool`s plumbing is in good working order. I know that Skye is doing just great most of the time, so love to her and Mini, and to all the other JandJ supporters.

J. Every time one of us comes on here we will be leaving love and hugs for you. Surround yourself with them, and know that we are here if you need us.x.

Homebird8 Sun 06-Jan-13 01:56:19

Hi there everyone. It's the after Christmas get together of a group of old (and new) friends smile

Thanks for the foot related enquiry Autumn. Pretty much fixed on my side now, a few twinges but nothing to get excited about. Apparently it'll be another six weeks or so before it's strong again. DH is still limping but running round like a mad thing after a house full of relatives for three weeks hasn't helped. I've done my best to help but his foot still gets swollen sad

Dondon glad you started with the wine wink Could do with a glass myself but the sun isn't quite yet over the yard arm here!

J&J, the prayers for you and your DH have never stopped. I hope your DS was able to spend some time home from uni over Christmas and despite DH's health you've enjoyed some family time all together. wine

WhoPutTheDickOnTheSnowman Sun 06-Jan-13 02:30:26

J&J you won't remember me from before but I was there all through.

I'm so sorry your amazing DH is ill again but you and your family are amazing. The love you have for each other brought me to tears more than once.

We are thinking of you here and sending healing and supportive thoughts. We can't send your DH around the world like Izzy did, or create a cocktail like Pa did but we are here.

Homebird8 Sun 06-Jan-13 08:18:46

Tempting to shorten your name to Dick, but perhaps we'll go with Snowman for the mo wink. Another seal has raised her head! smile Welcome.

lazarusb Sun 06-Jan-13 15:03:01

So good to see you all here! Snowman I don't know if you saw my tale of the penis-nosed Snowman bath bomb but yes, they did find their way into the children's stockings after all....nobody noticed! I giggled like a fool amidst quizzical expressions on Christmas day grin Dh found me vaguely annoying...!

I will PM SW and let her know we are here...hope she is ok too.

Homebird8 Sun 06-Jan-13 18:13:08

That's a story to tell the DCs when they're older Laz!

lazarusb Sun 06-Jan-13 20:45:04

grin I am aware that I have an odd sense of humour!
Anyhow, glad to hear your foot is on the mend, I hope your dh's foot settles down when your visitors are gone. Oh well, last night of dh & children's holiday...I hear a vodka and tonic calling!

sadwidow28 Sun 06-Jan-13 21:50:52

Have just got back home from Saltburn tonight. I am so sorry to hear that JandJ's DH is not well again.

I send love and prayers as always.

lazarusb Mon 07-Jan-13 09:27:42

Nice to hear from you SW. I hope you are well and had a relaxing time.

Homebird8 Tue 08-Jan-13 09:53:03

Just popping in to say I'm thinking of you all in the J&J household. Sending a hand to hold if you need it.

lazarusb Tue 08-Jan-13 14:34:04

Nice to see all of you here again. Wish it was in more positive circumstances though.

By the way dondon - I found a bodywarmer which has heat pads in it! A company called's not overly attractive but could sort out your nipple problem a treat! They might deliver to Poland!

Homebird8 Wed 09-Jan-13 09:30:32

J&J, here again just before I head off to bed to say I hope you have a good day. Caring thoughts heading across the planet to you tonight. thanks

foolonthehill Wed 09-Jan-13 09:57:29

thanks flowers for all.

lazarusb Thu 10-Jan-13 16:37:33

Hope everyone is well - thank you for the flowers fool. Apparently snow is heading to SE England this weekend, not my favourite thing at all! I am a total wimp in the snow - I've never liked it but since my back has been bad I live in fear of slipping over!

Stay warm everyone <eyes Homebird enviously> grin

lazarusb Sat 12-Jan-13 11:19:49

Wishing all of you a peaceful and pleasant weekend. Hope things are settling down and improving J and J x

Homebird8 Sat 12-Jan-13 19:42:24

Well, changeover day went ok. Inlaws taken to the airport and less than a day later DF and his fiancée picked up. I'd never met her before so it's going to be fun getting to know her. At some pint we'll mix up a few glasses of Hope on a Rope with the usual toast to you and yours J&J wine

Skyebluesapphire Sat 12-Jan-13 22:44:01

J and J - hope all is well, am thinking of you and hope that things get better soon

Homebird8 Mon 14-Jan-13 18:22:11

Sending you a squeeze of the hand J&J. Hope things are looking up with DH.

dondon33 Mon 14-Jan-13 23:06:23

Hi all, not popped in for a lil while, had a pretty overwhelming last 10 days here culminating in a bit of a drama tonight

- Dp had a seizure out of the blue, he's had a few throughout his life but not needed to be medicated for many we get to hospital only for them to release him a few hours later and send him home as he seems fine and scan showed nothing unusual - we arrive, he's in no longer than 10 mins and promptly fits again sad So this time a Doctor is sent to our home (rapid response kinda thing) and sticks a bloody huge dose of benzo-diazepine in him through a super fast drip held up by my ironing board :@ (I actually shit you not) it was done before I'd time to gather my thoughts, translate in my brain what I wanted to say to him..... I wondered why they asked if I drank alcohol, took sleeping pills etc.... crafty sods needed to know that I was capable of looking after him after the meds ..... So that's pretty much me at the moment- on vomit watch all night - he's already done it like 8 times, I can't allow him on his back so he's lying just feet away from me in what looks like some kind of OTT pillow factory, I've got him forced into the recovery position. He's got no control over movements really so I have to take his full weight to put him upright, he's going to do me a bloody injury as he's much bigger than me. Scary stuff! I honestly don't believe they've left me to deal with this, I'm assured he won't fit any more (ah ok, he may or may not, depending if I fall asleep which of course I won't but so not the point, choke himself in the night though)
Deep breath dondon deep breath!

Thanks for flowers fool much appreciated ta!

Still sending positive vibes JandJ hope all's well.

Thanks Laz for the heads up about the nipple body warmer but Maplins don't deliver to Europe sad covers STILL frozen nips in yet more cotton wool

Enjoy your new visitors homebird

Homebird8 Tue 15-Jan-13 01:08:11

Heavens Dondon, how frightening for you! Have you got anyone who can come in and help? There's only so long you can go without sleep. Has your DP got an appointment to see a Dr again? Surely they can't walk away and leave you to just cope! shock Keep breathing, I'm thinking of you.

Walkacrossthesand Tue 15-Jan-13 01:15:32

Any chance of a link to previous thread(s), or a brief recap, to help us newbies to try to get on the page re J&J and hope on a rope? Dondon, that sounds horrific! Why on earth wasn't your DP taken to hospital for observation? It's really not fair to expect you to watch him all night.,,

dondon33 Tue 15-Jan-13 02:45:15

There you go walk if my link works
I'm not at all sure why he wasn't admitted, can only surmise it's to do with the fact he'd been checked out not one hour before, declared fit and shipped out.
When I made the second emergency call, possibly the rapid response Doc could be here quicker so came and acted erm.... very rapidly :s
I give up asking why they do some things different downright dangerous imo things here, I was forever saying " Sheesh NHS would never do that" I started to annoy myself smile. I was just told not dangerous and must rest brain to reset (may not have been exact words but that's what I translated it as) smile

Home Thanks. Nope just moi. I think the worst of it's over now, medication has worn off to a level where he has some physical control back, at least enough to allow me more than 30 secs to go pee without the fear he'll roll on his back, get stuck and choke while I'm gone.
He's made me laugh with some of the things he's been saying/shouting out deliriously though smile smile
He's got to start tablet form clonazepam to top him up soon so I think I'll give him a few more hours then see if I can sleep for a while next to him - he'll remain sleepy for a few days although not as comatose as the initial IV dose but it stays in the system around 24-50 hours. Dr will visit tomorrow to check and I've had access to call if needed overnight.
Today has really tested my language skills and also my pain threshold hmm I've had to speak/order/instruct DP in his native tongue as in his drug induced stupor he ONLY recognised his native language...all going well until I had to physically remove vomit from his mouth and he BIT ME angry smile I couldn't remember the word for bite to tell him not to do it smile

<makes way to kitchen for yet another strong coffee --and cig-->

Homebird8 Tue 15-Jan-13 05:23:51

Dondon, I am massively impressed by your presence of mind and that you're keeping your sense of humour! Tell DP when he's compos mentis again that he's got a woman and a half and you deserve the best knitted nipple warmers money can buy. grin

Hope you get some sleep soon. And that DP and J&J's DH stop giving you both such shocks!

lazarusb Tue 15-Jan-13 09:49:29

Dondon - You are amazing! I am in awe of your patience and love. I'm not a great patient and definitely not the best nurse. As well as all that frightening stuff going on, you're doing it in a second language and with a sense of humour! Keeping my fingers crossed that your dh improves soon and things settle down a bit...try to get a bit of rest if you can though - is there anyone who can watch him during the day while you sleep?

If I can get hold of one of those bodywarmers, I'll happily post it to you. Cold nipples are a definite no-no! Thanks for posting the link for Walk too, I would have started the thread with that but didn't know how confused.

Waves to Homebird, Fool and Skye. The strong women on this thread are an inspiration smile

foolonthehill Tue 15-Jan-13 10:58:07

Waves back.

Says brief thanks to higher powers for NHS.

Well done dondon hope you are having a little nap just now.

JandJ much love and good wishes to you.

dondon33 Tue 15-Jan-13 14:44:45

Home He knows this already and just in case he ever slightly forgets - I've no shame to remind him ;) Slightly choked myself on coffee at the "best nipple warmers" comment smile

Laz I'm the worlds worst patient but have to admit I make a canny nurse (it helps I'm much trained in FA and not squeamish too) , I've got all the patience in the world for anyone and their dog, just nada for myself hmm
Thanks so much for the offer, it's really very kind of you and much appreciated but because I'm an awkward sized weirdo gal I'll leave it. It's bloody annoying when you want to order online unless you're familiar with the company.
My boobs, waist, hips and back don't match many standard size 12 (what my waist tells me I am but my boobs defo don't agree) and I usually never find a 'perfect fit' but thanks again.
There's no one to sit with him, just us here at the minute. I'm usually fine if I have something to keep me occupied whilst staying awake, adrenalin and MN got me through last night.

I did manage a nap fool thanks. I got a few semi-settled, wake at the slightest movement, hours. I'll sleep well tonight I'm sure.
Dp is OK, a little after my last post last night he sat bolt upright and declared he'd just love some hotdogs and cold chocolate (technically hot choc made with just cold milk) hmm So what the patient wanted the patient got grin Down the hatch it went and he returned to his slumber. He seems fine today, still very drowsy but ok, GP was happy for no more IV drugs just oral ones for a few days more so at least I won't have a night like last.

Thinking of you JandJ xx

dondon33 Tue 15-Jan-13 14:54:58

Usually my links don't work but I'm finding this the best way ;
Copy and paste the full address from the page you want to link to the reply box here. Then add [[ ]] to the start and end of said address.

lazarusb Tue 15-Jan-13 16:46:41

Hi Dondon, I know what you mean re:sizing. I recently lost some weight and my waist is now a size 10 but hips still a 12..I really want some smart trousers that don't need to be scrunched up at the waistband. Can I find any? No!

Glad to hear your dh is a little better. Still thinking of you both though x

dondon33 Tue 15-Jan-13 19:23:39

And there was me not wanting to mention my bottom half......angry smile I'm exactly the bloody same - waist, hips and my sodding peachy curvy bum just don't match neither then to top it orf I've got a 34" leg too ....>feeling your pain with the scrunching confused<
I find Next and Matalan the best for trousers.

Thanks I'm just getting ready to jump to bed, Dp wants to watch Gladiator AGAIN!! but it's the patients right smile keep ya mouth shut dondon smile I'll probs be asleep anyway in like 10 mins.
Night all x

Midwife99 Tue 15-Jan-13 22:06:14

Marking my spot & hope J & J are both ok!!

AutumnDreams Tue 15-Jan-13 23:39:48

Bloody hell Dondon, what a credit to womanhood you are. That must have all been pretty scary, despite you managing to keep your sense of humour. Total respect to you. I hope you`ve been able to catch up with some sleep, and that your patient is now on the mend.x.

Leaving some hugs, and much love for J, and for all the rest of the great Hope on a Rope Women.x.

Walkacrossthesand Tue 15-Jan-13 23:55:49

Thanks for the link - the thread had started when I discovered MN and its size deterred me from trying to catch up then, silly me - it's taken me a couple of hours on & off to read the 1000 posts, but what a lovely gang of mates you are. Add me to the list of well-wishers for Mr & Mrs J&J, and I hope J&J herself will feel up to posting herself soon.

Homebird8 Wed 16-Jan-13 01:12:08

If we're hurling deserved respect around, then Walk, getting through the previous thread is an uncommon dedication to task smile You've got me wondering now what on earth I wrote in the old one. Anyway, glad you've joined us for a brew or a wine. J&J could probably do with all the support she can get.

I hope she's reading, even if she can't find a moment to post. J&J we're here for you.

Walkacrossthesand Wed 16-Jan-13 02:11:52

wine and brew commonly on the go simultaneously chez walk so no difficulty there! It were an epic thread, weren't it, valiantly held on the first page of the topic with Izzyizin's uplifting thoughts for the day and cocktail recipes with Dean Martin soundtrack, sadwidow's adventures with LN and narrowboats, all woven in amongst Mr J&J's struggle and your wonderful collective support. MN at its best, say I.

Homebird8 Wed 16-Jan-13 02:31:10

Right Walk, is this where we start the guessing game? You are posting in the middle of the UK night! Have we hit yet another part of the globe as yet uncovered? J&J needs her support round the clock so if we have, that's good smile

ChippingInNeedsSleepAndCoffee Wed 16-Jan-13 02:39:01

I feel like I've accidentally walked into the wrong house, right into the middle of a dinner party! smile

J&J - I'm not sure if I've read any of your threads or not, but I am now thinking of you and I hope your DH is OK. Look after yourself too x

Homebird8 Wed 16-Jan-13 02:40:08

Pull up a chair*Chipping*. I'm sure someone will pour you that coffee. brew

Walkacrossthesand Wed 16-Jan-13 08:24:55

In the UK homebird blush but given to faffing about far too late at night, no DP to keep me on the straight & narrow, and 'a last look' at MN on my smartphone -when I should be reading book for book club- makes some of my postings very nocturnal.

<sidles off muttering about not needing much sleep>

Walkacrossthesand Wed 16-Jan-13 08:26:43

Strikethrough fail : when I should be reading book for bookclub I meant! Good morning to J&J too, hope today is a good day for you.

lazarusb Wed 16-Jan-13 11:32:35

Walk and Chipping - you are very welcome, I understand what you mean re:the dinner party! smile and wine to you Walk for reading the entire 1st thread! Also nice to see Midwife again, hope things are settling down for you.

J and J, I hope you are reading, even if you can't post. There's a lot of love on this thread, we are here when you want us. Hope the weather isn't too rough in your neck of the woods.

Plumpcious Wed 16-Jan-13 14:22:00

I remember JandJ's thread. My thoughts are going out to her and her family, and hope that they're bearing up with whatever life is throwing at them at the moment.

And hello to Dondon, who also seems to be going through the mill. Any progress with the nipple warmers?

dondon33 Wed 16-Jan-13 23:59:28

Hey all! new and old.

The patient is doing well thanks for asking milking it now a little maybe smile
I'm over the shock of it now, I think.....
No, there's no news on nipple warmers - not the bought kind anyway (I make my own with cotton wool ) but the temp has risen today, it's actually warmer than the UK but I shan't be holding my breath.....I'm getting - 10 again tomorrow.
I shouldn't complain really because this time last year it was - 28 shock Now that is some serious cold, believe me.

Homebird8 Thu 17-Jan-13 01:47:17

Now Dondon here is what you need to ask DP for.

Possum fur nipple warmers

Possums are a pest here in NZ so what better use? PM me if you'd like some sent!

foolonthehill Thu 17-Jan-13 11:01:49

Snow, snow, ice, snow....even foolish dog looks like an icicle today.

Warm thoughts to all of you and especially JandJ

AutumnDreams Thu 17-Jan-13 14:39:53

Loving thoughts to you all from a freezing North West. Tomorrow, apparently, we can look forward to snow. How I envy you Homebird. I am actually feeling the nipple freeze too Dondon - as well as a few other places! So pleased to hear the patient is on the mend. I well remember those gut wrenching dashes to hospital with my precious late husband.x.

Much love to J and I hope that H is getting the help he needs. Always here when you need us.x.

lazarusb Thu 17-Jan-13 19:52:41

My goodness Homebird...I really don't know what to say! They do look cosy though! grin Personally I went to Uni today covered from head to foot in socks that have a tog rating, thermal long janes and t-shirt and Thinsulate gloves. I was warm as toast all day (even nipples) grin

Still no snow on the South Coast...

dondon33 Fri 18-Jan-13 17:52:54

I've found some smile smile I was in a sex shop today, for research purposes you understandblush and I found some furry ones. Okay, technically they're not for what I want them for but will do the same job. So I'm now the proud owner of toasty nipples grin

Thanks so much home for your offer though.

Dp seems well on the road to recovery, although that's debatable..... he usually HATES central Warsaw with such passion but at his floaty, still a little drugged suggestion we headed there for a few hours this afternoon, just to get out and get some fresh air really.
I've came home with said nip warmers, a new coat, a lovely new scarfy thing (like an overhead/neck sausage you can use as a scarf and hat) the biggest, fluffiest earmuffs I've ever seen (I'm not a fan of hats, got lots but they make my head itchy) He also got a new coat smile
Now we're going to snuggle up n watch some TV. -15 tonight :@

lazarusb Fri 18-Jan-13 19:15:05

-15 shock Have a lovely evening Dondon. So glad you have sorted your nipple problem grin

Have a nice weekend everyone, whether you have snow or not.

JackieandJudy Fri 18-Jan-13 21:22:57

Hello lovely people - old and new! How I've missed you all, it feels like an absolute age since I've been here and seen you all (as it were). A huge thank you to Laz (she of the amazing christmas pudding) for starting up a new thread, with a fab title. I've just read through it and I feel like I've come home to be with my friends again. I know how cheesey that sounds, but you have no idea how comforting it is to see the familiar names, and new ones too, still being thoughtful and sympathetic, and most of all, still being here. I hope you all had wonderful Christmases and have had/are having good positive starts to 2013

Dondon, sorry to hear about your dh, I'm so glad to hear he's on the road to recovery. You sound like the right sort of person to have around in an emergency - any time you want to drop by mine, you'll be more than welcome!

The last few weeks have slipped by in a haze, I can hardly believe Christmas has been and gone, and that it's been about six weeks since I posted? Shortly after my last post I could see that Dh was feeling unwell but just thought he had a bit of a cold. Hah! Should have know dh never has "a bit of" anything.

One morning, about three days before Christmas, I could see he was really struggling, but even then, I didn't worry too much. It wasn't until later that day when he actually asked me if I would take him in to hospital that I realised he must be feeling extra bad - he generally does everything in his power to avoid hospital. When we arrived at A & E, since there were no parking spaces, I pulled up outside the main entrance and told him to get out and I'd meet him inside. He got as far as the bonnet of the car before collapsing on to it. I was a bit shocked as I hadn't realised quite how ill he'd been feeling, and if I'm totally honest, my first reaction was to worry about holding up the queue of traffic behind me!

I can't really remember too much about the next few hours - he was rushed into rescuss as it was discovered that his blood pressure was virtually non-existent, and it did seem as if nothing the staff tried was working. There were any number of drips up, injections being given, monitors attached etc. The staff were brilliant but there was no response to any of the calls the duty renal registrar was putting out for a renal consultant, and one of the nurses said "his systems are shutting down". The renal reg ran off then to the renal ward to physically get hold of a consultant, and thank god, she was soon back with one in tow. They stabbed him with something then (no idea what) before running through the corridors pushing him, drips, oxygen and all, to the renal ITU. And to cut to the point (otherwise I could quite happily bore you all with all the details!) it transpired he had double pneumonia.

Pretty sure most people would have written him off at this point, I know I had. But, being the stubborn bugger that he is, I am happy to report that he is alive and well, if not quite kicking! One of the docs told me just before dh came home that he didn't know anyone else who would have survived this latest drama, especially in view of all that he went through after the heart op. And I know pride comes before a fall and all that, but I am so amazingly proud of him and his resilience and his sheer strength of will. And I'm sure that all the prayers winging our way, courtesy of the good people of MN, will have played their part too!

So, can't say it was the best Christmas we've ever had, but that was then, and this is now. He's home now and going from strength to strength, and as determined as ever to go to Bar School in September. In the meantime, he has contacted some people he knew back in his working days to see if they can help him get some (unpaid, unfortunately!) experience working in law firms. Dc were all amazing, and I tried to keep as upbeat as possible for them (think all the presents helped somewhat too!).

foolonthehill Fri 18-Jan-13 22:22:59

Oh JandJ, you never lack for drama...lord your DH must have the constitution and will power of an ox to get through that. I am sure that you must feel that you have been to hell and back.

Hope you can find a little space to look after yourself as well as your lovely and miraculous DH.

Much love to you both and all those you love

Skyebluesapphire Sat 19-Jan-13 02:45:46

Wow JandJ, your husband is truly made of special stuff isn't he. He beats whatever is thrown at him.

And you are truly amazing too for dealing with it all so well. I hope that life gives you a Break for a while as you deserve one.

Thinking of you as always.

dondon33 Sat 19-Jan-13 13:47:34

Hi JandJ welcome back.
So sorry to hear what you've all been through again after everything was starting to get better after DH big op. It sounds terrifying.
Big YEY to Stubborn buggeryness- I actually ((heart)) your DH, he is so strong and brave.You all are! There's someone or something looking down on him J
I'm so pleased to hear he's getter stronger and feeling better and once again focusing on Bar School, I wish him the very best xxx
I hope now for you that you can resume a comfortable and peaceful normality to your life, YOU deserve a medal J you really do (don't have medal thingies so these will have to do) wine thanks ((kisses and hugs))

On a lighter note -I've just had a FGS moment......
Just tried to call to the bank in the UK and the message I've just listened to
"We apologise but due to adverse weather conditions our office is closed until further notice" smile
Seriously?where are they based, Antarctica?
It's just a bit of snow FGS, even if it makes people late for work I'm sure in this day and age there's no need to close offices smile

Have a lovely day all x

lazarusb Sat 19-Jan-13 14:45:01

J and J, so glad to hear from you. I'm sorry you've had such a traumatic time, life is never boring with your dh is it?! But I'm very pleased to hear he's on the road to recovery and he's thinking about Bar school again. I hope he gets some useful work experience sorted soon. You are both incredibly brave - life owes you a treat very soon.

dondon dd's school closed at 1.30pm yesterday even though the roads & pavements were clear...we just can't do snow in the UK, not even very light snow!

JandJ - oh my word. I hadn't seen your previous thread and have just caught up with your story now. I work (in admin) in a renal unit and your dh's story is a familiar one to me - though with some dreadful episodes. I cannot believe the nurse ripped his tesio out like that and I can absolutely appreciate how devastated he must have been. You take care of your access, you understand it and then just like it's all buggered up. Awful.
Then clearly recent events have been very hard too. To be honest your thread is a perfect example of just how tough some dialysis patients are. They come through so much. It's awe inspiring.
I gather you are dialysing at home. Has dh heard anything about nocturnal dialysis? I think Guys hospital may have quite a few patients on nocturnal. It's long, slow and gentle(r) and might work well with him and his cardiac problems.
All the best smile

dondon33 Sat 19-Jan-13 17:02:27

Lazarusb I completely understand when it's the kiddies Schools, I've had this before with my own DC (dodgy boilers, dodgy windows, potentially dangerous paths, roads if it's forecast for more snow and god forbid the teachers can't get home) but it made me shock that some centrally heated Barclays call centre somewhere in the UK is using the snow as an excuse. IT'S ONLY SNOW not Arma-blooming-geddon smile I'd be the boss from hell..... angry
Get into work when you reasonably can, wear extra layers of clothes but I god damn expect to see you at your desk. I myself have had to do it working in a call centre in the middle of nowhere 90 mins journey from my home, more than a few times we were practically snowed in but still had to be there.

The UK just starts a mass panic even when the first sprinklings begin to fall smile

Homebird8 Sat 19-Jan-13 21:23:39

Well lovely ladies, it's been a few days since I posted and I'm feeling a little blush to admit we're away at the beach in a bach (Kiwi holiday home) with my DF and his fiancée who have travelled all the way from the UK to see us. The weather yesterday was warm and sunny and we spent the whole day stooging about on the beach with fishing rods, rock pools, picnics and chatter. My DSs tell me they miss the snow, but I sooooo don't!

J&J so glad to hear from you and, after all the days of sheer worry and exhaustion that I'm sure you have all had, that things are looking better. DH's dream of bar school is getting closer. When I had my big dream of moving to NZ I used to say that as long as every step I could control was in the right direction I would get there eventually. It took a wee while but here we are. Your DH is getting closer smile. I'm sending you a lassoo for all the hope bubbles, and a jar to see them mount up in, to be swapped for a brand new career and more settled health from now.

Oops, DF has cooked us a full English for breaky (it's 10.20 in the morning so about the right time for being away). I'll pop off and enjoy whilst it's hot and rejoin you later. brew

JackieandJudy Sat 19-Jan-13 22:28:09

Hi all, hope you've all had good day - and thanks for all the nice posts.

Haven't so much as put my nose outside the front door today, feeling very lazy. Home, I'm so envious of the day you had yesterday, it sounds perfect, like something out of a Famous Five book! Why did you want to move to NZ (if you don't mind me asking).

Dondon - I need to put you in touch with my step-dad! His son lives in Pittsburgh and (amongst lots of other dodgy ventures) operates a snow plough business. Step dad is forever opining at length at how pathetic we are with snow in this country, and if we only knew what his son had to deal with we'd realise just how lucky we are etc etc. I have to say, I agree with a lot of what he says, but don't want him to know that (we don't have the best of relationships!)

Northern, thanks for your post and kind words - you don't work in Hammersmith or Watford by any chance?! I think overnight dialysis might have been mentioned at one time, but in the early days dh worked full time so it wasn't a feasible option then. Nowadays, he finds it difficult to sleep on the machine (he's generally a very poor sleeper anyway) so he wouldn't really benefit.

We took ds1 back to uni last week - I almost was more upset than I was in the summer. It does get easier - doesn't it??! Dd has acquired a boyfriend of whom I heartily approve, primarily because he's tidy! Last night I told her she could have some friends round as long as she tidied up after. When everyone, other than the boyfriend, had left, she did her version of clearing up. Boyfriend apparently said "You are joking aren't you, can you not see the mess?!" He then proceeded to take over, and when I inspected this morning, all was pristine! I do seriously like him though, they've been friends for about four years and he's a right nice lad (channelling my beloved grandma there!).

Off to watch the Bourne Supremacy now - that Matt Damon is a nice healthy specimen is he not?! Keep safe all.

foolonthehill Sat 19-Jan-13 22:53:55

smile enjoy

lazarusb Sun 20-Jan-13 09:40:32

Good to see things are looking up for you J.

dondon - the frustrating thing is ds's school stayed open the whole day - they operate a policy of 'If we open in the morning, we stay open, but if any parents are concerned about the weather during the day, they can collect them early'. If staff live far away, they can go early too and others step in and fill the gap.
But dd's school are well known for closing in at the first flake, with less than an hours notice and if they call the bus company and they can't arrange extra buses, the girls all have to walk home. It just creates problems when there don't need to be any. If it's heavy, fair enough. I can't imagine that parents' employers are overly happy either!

Oh well, that's my rant for the day. grin Take care everyone!

No I'm up North JandJ. Actually managing to sleep whilst doing nocturnal dialysis is the key point of course. I think there will be increasing info out there about it though so if I hear anymore on that I'll let you know.

Has dh mentioned his difficulty sleeping to his consultant? There are drugs that can be prescribed that may help, even for things like restless legs which is such an annoying symptom but hardly seems mentioning as it's so 'benign'.

dondon33 Tue 22-Jan-13 19:00:16

Oh *JandJ weird you mention watching Bourne..... I just had a Bourne fest smile, downloaded them all and watched back to back.
Contemplating doing the same with Pirates of the Caribbean as I've not seen them.

Laz Ds's school sounds very sensible. Dd's however, does not. Sounds very much like the School I attended, it was really old and the boiler was forever freezing/packing up in the winter - I was lucky I lived 20 mins walk away but some lived miles from it and they never bothered to call the scholar bus when they sent us home early.

I've got a busy day tomorrow, We are TTC half arsed at the mo but I'm off to see the gynae/obstetrics Dr as well as the GP for a full MOT - the plan is to do it all by the book this time. (says she, mother of 3 who's never TRIED TC before blush) So I'm already taking the right vitamins, healthy diet etc... but gynae will scan me, prod, poke and test me to within an inch of my life smile and hopefully everything is all ok.

lazarusb Tue 22-Jan-13 19:08:53

Dondon Best of luck with all your tests and enjoy TTC. I was a little disappointed that I fell for ds2 so quickly as we missed the fun of TTC and got straight into the morning sickness instead! grin

Dd's school excelled themselves yesterday - they decided not to go in until 11am...which meant she & I had to walk the mile and a half in the snow (and then I had to come home again!). Of course, the school bus wasn't running at time of the day, although it had apparently arrived at a closed school gate at 8.30am...hmm

dondon33 Tue 22-Jan-13 19:34:01

Thanks Lazarus I'm a little bit confused tbh..... My P's aren't exactly regular, nothing drastic usually between 25 and 27 days so I think I'm going to have to have my hormones checked again or chart or something?? smile
I realise I'm completely worrying about nothing at the moment as we've both previously had good results for fertility a little while ago and we're not consciously active on fertile days (Que sera, sera at the moment) Also playing on my mind is my age 35 is the beginning of doom so they'd have you believe

GRR at your Dd's school angry

Homebird8 Wed 23-Jan-13 06:30:21

Goodness, that was a long breakfast!

J&J I think you pretty much had the story of moving to NZ. It was the lifestyle! We visited in 2000 and fell in love with the place. Children stay children for longer, people are more laid back, more straightforward, and the bush countryside and the climate are great. I had the opportunity to restart my career after 9 years at home with the DSs, DH needed a change and a chance to rediscover himself after many years of a crippling work life. We came for 2 or 3 years but now, after 18 months, don't think we'll be leaving. I'm not brave enough to say I've emigrated but more than that, I'm not brave enough to return to the UK and our old 'life'. We miss friends and are a long way from family, but we have great friends here who truly care about us and we about them so we're more than happy.

Good to hear that things are moving along in your family. Glad to hear so little about DH. No news is good news! I think I approve of DD's new boyfriend too. Tell him he's got a mums' fan club! I don't yet know if it gets easier to leave a child like you with DS. All I know is that when mine were small I used to forget I'd got them, and now they are the ripe old ages of 10 and 8 I miss them when I'm away at work. I reckon it just gets harder.

A quick wave to Dondon, Lazarus, Fool, Northern, Skye, Autumn and SW and all the seals who pop up and see us. I feel so blessed to have met you all. J&J, you have no idea what you started. thanks

AutumnDreams Wed 23-Jan-13 11:01:49

J it`s a delight to come here and see you posting. Are you looking after yourself sweetie? Maybe a multi vitamin tablet daily, as much rest as you can get, and of course eat well, even when you perhaps don`t always feel like it. Your H is an absolute star. He`s like one of those little toy thingy`s - Skye did tell me their name, but I`ve forgotten again! - that no matter how many times you pushed it over, it got back up again. Long may it continue.

Dondon, so pleased that things are improving for you too. Now don`t be wearing the poor man out! I hope it all happens for you very soon. I`m sure it will. What is for you, won`t go by you

Laz, what a lot of daft palaver with the schools. Elf and safety huh! Stay safe.

Homebird, what an idyllic picture you paint, and how lovely to be able to give your DC`s that sort of upbringing. It can`t have been an easy decision to make, leaving everything you knew, but what a great one it`s turned out to be.

Much love to Skye, Fool, and all the other posters here on our very special thread.x.

dondon33 Wed 23-Jan-13 11:14:57

Morning all, hope everyone's having a good day.

Hope you're all well J

Big wave back at ya Homebird Your decision to emigrate extended visit was so brave and it's lovely to hear your reasons why, it sounds fab.

Thanks Autumn blush I won't wear him out just yet.
Is it weebles the name you're looking for? Their advertising motto back in the 80's was weebles wobble but they don't fall down very apt I think for J's dh.

lazarusb Fri 25-Jan-13 17:44:00

I used to LOVE weebles - had the playground and everything smile Happy days. Have a good weekend everyone, hope the snow stays away grin

dondon33 Fri 25-Jan-13 19:21:34

He He Laz me too smile
Good news on the gynae front - everything healthy and normal - so I'm happy with that - just waiting for the masses of blood test results to come back now.
Hope you all have great weekend xx

lazarusb Sat 26-Jan-13 10:51:13

Excellent news dondon. I'm sure all the blood tests will come back with the all clear too smile Then you can start exhausting your dh! wink

AutumnDreams Sat 26-Jan-13 11:13:08

Leaving love and warm thoughts for everyone, especially J and H.

Great news dondon. Lets pray that we are soon awaiting our own little "Hope on a Rope" babe, who I will nickname Sparkle.

dondon33 Sat 26-Jan-13 13:42:30

Thanks guys ;)
Aw! I like sparkle and I'm also praying 'it's' gently tucked into my womb sometime soon smile

JackieandJudy Sat 26-Jan-13 19:19:48

Hi all, just checking in - all fine here (fingers crossed). Thanks for good wishes Autumn, fool and Skyeblue, I'm doing good! Good to hear your story Home, thanks for telling. Brave move to make but it does sound idyllic. We had some friends who emigrated out there about eight or nine years ago, and although we've lost touch now (apart from the dreaded Xmas round robin) they loved it and had no intention of ever returning.

Ooh don, good luck - wouldn't it be great if we had an "on thread" baby! Hope you get your blood test results soon and all is good and positive. 35 is no age at all, I was 39 when ds3 was born. And autumn is right - no need for you and dh to worry about names - there's Sparkle, Izzy, Autumn, Sapphire for a girl, and Laz and Don for a boy. Sorted! Did you enjoy your Bourne fest? Coincidentally, we watched the second one on dvd, and hey presto, the third one was on tv the following day.

Snow all gone here now, thankfully. And also thankfully, no school closures. Dh's contact has come up with some ideas for him, so they are meeting this coming week to discuss further. Dh is excited! Dd has new weekend job in a shoe shop, so if she makes it to three months, I can get a discount! She did, however, entice a lady she described as "middle aged" (so probably younger than me) to buy some thigh high boots, so I'm hopeful for her prospects.

Meanwhile, Ds2 is on a mission to demolish the house - he ordered himself a workout bench which he has set up in his room - directly over our room. So other than all the clanking and thudding which regularly reverberates over-head, he has a worrying tendency to drop heavy weights. I swear one of them will crash through the floor and kill me in my bed before long. Best one of you calls the emergency services if I'm not back in the next two weeks!

Keep well and have good weekend all.

dondon33 Sat 26-Jan-13 22:26:50

Great to hear all's well J keep up the good work ;) Fab news about your DH contact. The discount at Dd's workplace sounds fab - ahh shoes smile I'd personally get her up each work day and deliver her there to ensure this happens.
Uh-Oh I'm kinda worried about your Ds2's new mission hmm I think we should arrange a rota to check on you to ensure he hasn't crashed through the floor and accidently injured/killed you smile

Thanks for the good wishes, I know that 35 is still OK and there's women still producing perfectly healthy babies way past that but the DR's and info about that magic or not so if you believe them number is, to be honest, bloody depressing!

Yeah bourne fest was good, I enjoyed them all. Hope you did too.

Take care xx

foolonthehill Sat 26-Jan-13 22:34:30

Hi don when i had my first DC docs were hmm that I was scraping in under their current magic number of 30. By the time I had DC4 at 36 it was up to 35... I suspect in some parts of the world (especially London} they have decided already that 40 is the new 35!

I wish you every blessing and success in becoming a parent (again).

JandJ your family are are you. May you go from strength to strength.

dondon33 Sun 27-Jan-13 13:56:31

Sheesh!! Fool I'm shock at 30 !! Thanks for your kind wishes.

I can understand maybe, if it's the first child - don't they say there's a higher risk over 35 with a first (have no clue what %) more likely to suffer high blood pressure and more likely for c section delivery, there's more but I can't remember exactly. Anyway - yes I get it that my eggs are not as fresh as they were in my 20's so TTC can be problematic for some but I've had no real complications with the others, all natural and healthy shelling peas springs to mind grin so there's no reason I need the voice of doom from Dr's regarding my age.
*forgive me for my mini rant > breathes and feels better <

Hope you all have a good Sunday xx

lazarusb Tue 29-Jan-13 19:18:51

Hey dondon, don't worry, a friend of mine had a gorgeous baby in May - just a week after her 44th birthday. I was told to expect the menopause imminently by my last GP (I was 30!)...I think they just like to be the voice of doom now and again grin Looking forward to our (first?) baby on this thread smile

J and J, glad to see all is good with you. I'm just about to write to some local firms for voluntary work experience in the summer, so best of luck to your dh! Glad to see dd has got herself a useful are never wasted! As for ds...have you considered reinforcing his floor for when he becomes a muscle bound hulk?

dondon33 Wed 30-Jan-13 23:32:04

Wow 44! Laz that's fab!
Feeling more positive now that the majority of my tests are back. Just waiting for the last two to come back - Full Hepatitis screening and Toxoplasmosis then it's a full house.
(it's weird here because instead of the results all being computerised, you go collect them yourself on paper to take to your next relevant appt- thus enabling you to play Doctor before you've actually seen one confused )

It looks very much like all is well, especially the hormone ones smile but I did flap when I seen the result for one of the thyroid tests (your results are written then along side is the min/max range levels for what they should be) So I notice that mine is extremely high and start panicking hmm but manage to find out that the actual result is in a different measurement from the range figures.
*Lesson learnt by dondon - it's for the *ACTUAL Dr to interpret NOT you nor Dr Google. blush grin

Hope every ones well x

lazarusb Thu 31-Jan-13 20:13:29

grin We've all done it dondon - dh diagnosed ds with leukaemia a couple of years ago, all because he was tired one weekend and had bruises on his legs - I pointed out he was a 7 year old boy, they're meant to be covered in bruises and yes, even get tired occasionally! Glad all your news is good though x

dondon33 Thu 31-Jan-13 21:53:26

Oh Christ!! Lazarusshock
That beats me so glad I'm not the only numpty not quite sure who I more feel for - your dh or ds.
I have to admit I did grin but I'm very glad all was and is well with your ds.

lazarusb Fri 01-Feb-13 09:29:53

Dh didn't tell ds (thankfully) - he had a cousin who died at 2 and a half, he'd recovered from leukaemia but then had a massive heart attack sad He was one of the babies affected by the hospital which kept children's organs without telling the parents too so dh is ultra sensitive about the disease. However, I sat him down and told him that we'd see the GP if he wanted, to put his mind at rest and we'd look at the worst case scenario ONLY if we were presented with it! He realised that he'd been a bit dramatic (which is very unlike him normally grin).
I banned him from Google when I was diagnosed with OA in my spine...he'd be buying wheelchairs before I knew it! wink

dondon33 Fri 01-Feb-13 20:21:37

Ah Lazarus how sad!
Now I know his reasons for panicking your DH was definitely not a numpty --and I hope he doesn't read your MN--blush (was meant in jest anyway, we ALL panic at some point about our DC's)
I'll bet he's had a sneaky look at your condition, if only to educate himself about it but seeing as though you haven't had a wheelchair delivered, it was probably just a little one smile

I'm at it again confused I got the other two results today and I'm playing 'guess what it means' I think the Hep tests are fine = I'm not reactive! hmm so I'm assuming that means I have no immunity either ??? Which I'm finding strange as I've been immunised against one of them (A I think)
The Toxoplasmosis = I clearly see I don't currently have it but there's a bit of a discrepancy as to whether I've had it before, looks like I've got some level of immunity ??? Who the hell knows! I've got to make an appointment with the GP to decipher them all for me.

Hope everyone is well and hope you all have a great weekend xxx

dondon33 Fri 01-Feb-13 20:23:51

* why are my thingimy doodahs not working?
possibly the fact I've had 2 glasses of wine

dondon33 Fri 01-Feb-13 20:25:06

*Strike throughs! That's what they're called - Sorry for wasting space, I couldn't think of the name earlier blush

lazarusb Sat 02-Feb-13 22:44:40

dondon He CAN be a numpty...and no, he doesn't read MN. He realised afterwards that online diagnosis is not to be recommended! grin Poor so-and-so has to dress me now and again...I think he'd enjoy it if I was a bit more dependent on him full-time! (he doesn't think I'm needy enough!).

Don't worry about your tests, I'm sure your GP will be able to explain them and put your mind at rest. Maybe you should start getting on with the fun stuff...this thread could do with a baby on it! wink

dondon33 Sun 03-Feb-13 15:40:32

Pmsl lazarus - That's shocking! you bad bad wife, increase your neediness will you smile

Nah I'm not worrying, quietly confident that all is good but I'll be visiting the GP next week.

Oo la la the 'fun' can begin a little later in the month grin but we regularly practise just to ensure that when the time comes to send in the swimmers that we, are in fact, doing it right wink smile

lazarusb Sun 03-Feb-13 18:12:45

Practice makes perfect wink grin

lazarusb Thu 07-Feb-13 20:23:34

Bumping as the thread fell off my 'I'm on'!
I hope you are all well, and J and J and family too. smile

Homebird8 Fri 08-Feb-13 23:26:42

Well it's been a while ladies. Sorry for my silence although I have been lurking.

Work has been busy with a lot of secrecy around the unveiling in-house of a major reorganisation - important that nobody worries for their job. This time it is what it says on the can, we just need to sort out who is working with whom and in which team as our customers are getting confused about the structure.

The great excitement for me is that I and my boss get to spin off and form a completely new, and really forward looking for New Zealand which lives in the 1980s consultancy business fully supported by the original large company. At last I get to do what I'm really good at!

Nothing quite as exciting and the spin off you're planning Dondon smile that's one major re-org wink Glad all your results are coming back. Hope your trip to the GP is a big fat green light and DP is soon thoroughly exhausted.

dondon33 Sat 09-Feb-13 06:38:01

Hi homebird Your new working conditions sound great for you, good luck with it all. I always think that it's half the battle if you actually enjoy your work - so bonus smile

I got the green light - Note to self for future stay away from Dr Google smile Everything perfect....35! pah to you 35! my body is a temple ha ha I wish
So today we will buy some ovulation prediction strips (dp would like to try Dr Shettles method to conceive a boy but is not really bothered), watch carefully and erm...get down to business winkblush grin

Homebird8 Sat 09-Feb-13 09:46:57

I had DS2 at 35. Doddle once the being sick bit was over, great pregnancy, home birth, easy baby. Terribly difficult pre-schooler but I can't have everything! Sure your temple will soon be home to another resident Dondon. Look out DP! grin

Goodness, I have been wrapped up in work haven't I? Just read back my last post blush Forgive me folks. There is a human being in here somewhere. Just need to find her. Gin anyone? (not you Dondon, temple and all that wink)

dondon33 Sat 09-Feb-13 16:52:34

Don't worry Homebird we forgive you thanks Once all your worky stuff is sorted and settled it will give you more time to spend with us smile

your temple will soon be home to another resident Dondon
I hope so, I'm bloody impatient at the best of times smile

Gin! bleurghh! Me no likey anyway so I don't feel I'm missing out ;)
I enjoy the very odd glass of cold rose - for medicinal purposes, I'm not a fan of red so my theory is- it's half way red in colour so MUST be healthy for my heartgrin

Hope everyone's well and hope you all have a good weekend xx

lazarusb Sat 09-Feb-13 18:09:57

Hi Homebird & dondon. Nice to hear your lives are moving in the right direction smile

I like a full-bodied red but dh is keen on white zinfandel so my French blood has to put up with a bit of rose (more often than not!). However, I've just spent 8 hours wrestling with EU law - trying desperately to find it exciting -so I am heading towards a large vodka & tonic tonight grin

Hope everyone has a nice weekend - I am working through this one as we are off to the Legoland hotel for ds's birthday next week so that will be study free!

dondon33 Sat 09-Feb-13 20:45:37

Hey Lazarus Ooh red kills my head! even just 2 glasses. White is ok, I'll drink it with a meal or if dp fancies sharing a bottle but prefer rose much more.

EU law confused takes me all of my time to understand what the hell they're talking about with this budget malarky smile rather you than me.
Ah get through this weekend and you will have a super time next with not a thought about work. It sounds fab, I'm sure your Ds will love it.

lazarusb Sun 10-Feb-13 11:32:17

I'm looking at Tort today smile smile and maybe a bit of Equity and trusts later this evening - both areas I find interesting and get a bit excited about (I need to get out more!). I just find EU law a bit dry...oh well, next year I'll be studying modules I've chosen so hope that will be more enjoyable!

dondon33 Sun 10-Feb-13 17:03:59

Oo-Er laz Tort law! civil wrongs?, criminal wrongs?, deciphering them? confused oh heck definitely rather you than me.
I dipped my toe in Law when I was younger and can remember the hell difficulty trying to remember all the different areas.
It sounds better choosing your own modules, at least you're interested in them, so in theory, should be easier and more enjoyable to learn.
Happy reading and learning x

lazarusb Sun 10-Feb-13 18:28:40

Thank you dondon. We focus on civil wrongs, I find it interesting as a lot of the case law is very contradictory and there have been some very controversial cases - particularly Hillsborough. Reading about that brought this hard-hearted would be lawyer to tears...I remember it so clearly sad There's a lot of good lawyers specialising in this area still trying to help those families get justice...fingers crossed.

But definitely looking forward to next year, especially my dissertation.

dondon33 Sun 10-Feb-13 19:25:58

Very contradictory and controversial indeed - I found myself using the same two words over and over, both to myself and to my unfortunate lecturer but and why smile

Homebird8 Mon 11-Feb-13 08:37:29

You two bringing up Hillsborough takes me straight back to being at uni in L'pool when the disaster happened. Everyone knew someone. The spirit in the city was tangible with people just coming together just to be. The media's role in the aftermath still makes me so angry angry angry sad and the injustices that followed are even more shocking. Thank heavens for those good lawyers. Gotta believe in hope, even if it is hope on a rope.

Homebird8 Mon 11-Feb-13 08:51:11

On a lighter note. I'm blaming all you lovely ladies for my latest attempts with sewing. I found some really pretty material in my collection to make into a top to go with my new skinny jeans. It appears that carefully storing hoarding fabric means that after two decades the colours are back in fashion and my frugal ways are once more vindicated. Just what I've been telling DH ever since I've known him.

I made some very fetching culottes out of this material in 1989 but who's counting although it don't think they were in fashion even then! I had eclectic clothing tastes in those days. I'm working on classic these days with occasional Daisy Duke moments though without her legs with a drop of Kylie Minogue thrown in for good measure.

I'm praying the top will go on when it's made. It's got a cowl neckline and no fastenings. The material doesn't stretch as much as the pattern suggests so we'll just have to see. The charity shop may find an extra donation if it turns out too small. grin

dondon33 Mon 11-Feb-13 11:48:11

Homebird I wish I had your creativity and patience - I'm crap with needlework, I can repair, sew a button etc... I've even made some blankets and curtains over the years for DC's but nobody see's them but clothes! I wouldn't even attempt. I'd love to, don't get me wrong but I'm quite dangerous with a sewing machine, my finger still bears the scar from an accident at School sad
Your top sounds lovely btw, I hope it turns out how you want.

lazarusb Mon 11-Feb-13 12:37:50

I admire anyone who can be creative like that. My Mum is great at it, dd seems to be following in her footsteps. I limit my attempts to sewing on buttons...and they don't stay on long!

dondon33 Wed 13-Feb-13 15:47:28

My Mum is the same as me at it Lazarus I think that's where I get it or not as the case may me from.

I hope everyone is well, hope all's well at your end J

I'm going to share a dream I had a few nights ago - laugh if you must smile

So I dreamt I was pregnant, went to all appointments probs. Got to the point of labour and went to hospital where they found I was having TRIPLETS shock!!!
So huge panic ensues, Oh my god! how will we cope, there's only 2 of us and 3 of them....
Jump forward and I'm at home feeding one of them, DP has another and my CAT is sat on the sofa, in a human sitting position feeding another hmm smile - I particularly remember having an argument with him (the cat) about NOT drinking the milk (yes, he could speak).
WTF??? smile
Dream interpreters would have a field day I'm sure.

lazarusb Wed 13-Feb-13 21:24:10

Ok....well yes, that is a little odd. I don't really do the whole dreams have meanings things (got a bit obsessed back in the 90s!). But maybe grin....your dream was telling you that at times you might feel a little overwhelmed to have a little person around again, but whatever happens you will find a way to cope and it will go well.

No idea what the talking cat means though! grin

dondon33 Thu 14-Feb-13 10:45:20

The lord only knows what it means because I certainly don't not sure I'd want to Dp's mum is a believer in dream meanings sometimes - see what she makes of this smile
Your explanation sounds acceptable Lazarus
It's more likely to do with the fact I'm quite paranoid about twins - there in both families and many years ago myself, my mum and my Grand mother were told by 3 different psychic's that I would have them - I've thus far managed to evade = 3 single births, but I've a feeling my luck can't last forever smile

I've had a word with Mr Stork and made perfectly clear if he must deliver a double package then please can I have a minimum of one blue kind (for dp) as I won't be receiving any more gifts after smile I hope he was listening.

lazarusb Thu 14-Feb-13 22:11:13

I've always said that if I had a twin pregnancy I'd treat it as a 'buy one get one free'...there's always e-bay too now wink

lazarusb Mon 18-Feb-13 20:57:12

Hope everyone is well. The sun was out and it was warm(ish) and sunny here today. Spring at last maybe? Ds had a great time at legoland, I highly recommend the hotel smile

dondon33 Mon 18-Feb-13 21:19:24

I'm good thanks Lazarus hope you are too.
This waiting (to do preg test/AF) malarky is driving me crazy already. I am currently refusing to symptom spot and I'm actively avoiding any threads regarding doing so over on the 'conception' boards - there's just too many similarities between early preg and pre- period symptoms - so no! nada! neigh! not me! do I sound convincing? smile

Glad your ds enjoyed his weekend smile

Sunshine! I've forgotten what it looks and feels like sad
Dp called to his df earlier and couldn't get an answer for ages.... when he did eventually get through his Dad said ' oh sorry I didn't hear because I was sitting in the garden enjoying a little sun' !! WTH? He's in the North East of England AND it's February shock

Hope everyone else is OK xx

lazarusb Tue 19-Feb-13 21:38:55

I remember that cycle of ovulation/dtd/waiting to test well. Then being surprised when it was positive -despite my life revolving around that possibility every month! I agree, symptom spotting is not good - although I tend to get cystitis almost as soon as I'm pregnant hmm then the sickness kicks in! Anyway, keeping my fingers crossed for you at this exciting time smile

By the way, sunny but cold here today..I think the daffodils got a bit of a shock!

dondon33 Wed 20-Feb-13 12:43:01

smile It's just simply cold here.

I can't really remember the very early signs was soooo long ago and I wasn't looking for them. I do remember that my morning sickness didn't kick in until after I'd tested positive - then it was almost immediately after (psychological or what?) Also remember that my sense of smell and taste was affected very early too. Other than that I can relate most symptoms to pre-menstrual, so for now I'm still not so patiently waiting.

Homebird8 Sat 23-Feb-13 05:32:37

The first thing that happened when I got pregnant was that I became very tired and just had to have a snooze. Can't explain the same symptoms now though. Am defo not!

dondon33 Sat 23-Feb-13 10:54:23

Hi Homebird hope you're well.
smile Yeah I can remember the tiredness - it's like a form of narcolepsy isn't it - one minute you're awake, the next you're out smile
I'm still battling not to symptom spot - so far so good and anyway only 4/5 days before I should naturally find out.

Hope everyone's well x

lazarusb Sat 23-Feb-13 13:04:20

Ooh dondon - I'm living vicariously through you a bit - the anticipation and excitement! Fingers crossed for you. Well done for not symptom spotting.

My first pg was unplanned, I was on the pill for the first 9 weeks, drinking and smoking, completely oblivious. I'd had what I thought was a light period at about the right time, put the change down to stress (I was doing my A levels confused). It was only when the next period didn't arrive that a bell started ringing. So symptom spotting would have been pointless for me! Every symptom I'd had I attributed to stress grin

dondon33 Sat 23-Feb-13 13:27:32

Thanks Lazarus One of the girls on the conception board has just announced a BFP smile - her first month and DC no4 too. but she done some early testing to find out.... I'm so trying to fight doing it.

I fell with Dc1 and Dc2 while on the pill but I started feeling weird around the 5/6 week mark and took a test - with the 1st I thought I'd maybe forgot a pill, with the 2nd I was like - WTH??? I knew I hadn't missed one nor been ill.
My 3rd was completely accidental so all of this symptom spotting and fighting it is new to me.

Homebird8 Sat 23-Feb-13 20:06:30

Hi to you too Dondon. Yep, all's well here. We have finally put the last of our Christmas visitors back on a plane. It's a long time from the 17th December until the 21st February. Remind me of that next year. Mind you, nobody asked us about dates before they all booked their flights!

Still got the remnants of Summer here although we're starting to get signs that the season is turning. I can't get used to Spring and Autumn being in the wrong months. The Summer and Winter swap is fine but surely Easter and Spring are inextricably linked aren't they? Too confusing for my little brain... I'll be getting it wrong when I'm an old lady and the DSs will be rolling their eyes about their BritisherMama.

lazarusb Sun 24-Feb-13 10:56:21

Hello Homebird, I think I'd find the Easter spring thing a bit difficult to get used to as well. I can't believe you have visitors for such a long time! But I suppose if you will emigrate somewhere which is warm and sunny in the winter....! grin

Enjoy the rest of the summer. Spring visited us fleetingly but it's cold enough to have been snowing again. Roll on some sunshine and a bit of warmth!

dondon I admire your resilience in holding out. You can drive yourself mad trying to decide whether to test or not. The time will come one way or another and I hope you will get a BFP very soon.

dondon33 Sun 24-Feb-13 19:32:05

shock Wow! homebird that's a long Christmas smile

I'm with you both - I can't imagine Easter and spring without seeing baby chicks and daffodils.

You'll not believe what happened to me last night......
Got an out of the blue message from a cousin I've not spoken to for ages, saying.....
Strange question for you cuz, are you pregnant?
He'd seen a psychic last week who told him - your eldest cousin, who you've not seen for a long time is pregnant.
I'm his eldest cousin! shock smile

So even if I'm not lucky this month - 't'other side' knows what I'm planning smile

lazarusb Mon 25-Feb-13 12:56:38

Ooh...I had a neighbour who was heavily into woo (no disrespect intended). She asked me out of the blue one day how far along I was, I replied that I wasn't. She insisted I BFP a week later with ds2 (just a few days late).

My Nan used to read Tarot and told me when I was about 16 that I'd have 3 children. There would be a big gap between the first 2, but numbers 2 & 3 would be much closer together. I was sceptical - after ds1 I definitely didn't want any more! But then I met dh....

If the spirits are on your side that can't be bad smile

dondon33 Mon 25-Feb-13 15:49:30

If the spirits are on your side that can't be bad

That's what I'm thinking too, positivity from any area is more than welcome smile
I used to be sceptical about them but I've seen a few brilliant ones, I can't deny that they don't have a gift.
Spooky isn't it? My gran, my mum and myself were all told I'd have twins, after my 3 I didn't imagine I'd ever have more and now that's stuck in my mind again smile please just one at a time, I'm too old to manage twins smile
When I was newly pregnant with my second I was with my Dm at a psychic party and my dm came out from seeing the lady and said - ' dondon please be careful because she told me I was going to get another GS very soon, your still on the pill aren't you?'
I took that opportunity to announce that I was already 2 months gone smile I'd been putting off telling her because I thought she'd be furious a) I was still very young and b) DS1 was only 14 months - turns out the psychic lady kinda done it for me smile

lazarusb Mon 25-Feb-13 18:05:35

grin After a particularly bad year of my life I saw a medium. I thought I would be sceptical but I just needed someone to tell it was going to get better. I still talk to my Grandparents and friends at times. I know dh thinks I'm daft - he's very straight down the line - but if I believe they are rooting for me, it really gives me confidence.

The spirits are definitely pre-occupied with pregnancy around you aren't they?! grin Hopefully they're pulling a few strings for you up there!

dondon33 Mon 25-Feb-13 18:43:46

shock You're right there smile
My dp doesn't believe neither but then he's never experienced anything remotely paranormal.

Homebird8 Mon 25-Feb-13 19:22:12

Ah now, here's my story to add to the mix. DH and I were trying for a baby. Our first son was born too soon and didn't make it and we were obviously grieving and hoping all intermixed. One Sunday morning, I was sitting in church with DH on my right hand side. There was nobody to my left. And then all of a sudden I could feel a presence there. A substantial, warm, comforting presence. The feeling was so strong I actually remember laying my head sideways, away from DH, as if to lay it on the shoulder of the 'person' sitting next to me and I could feel an arm around me. And at the same time I could hear a voice, a man's voice, saying, "There's a little boy waiting."

I must have been three weeks at the time, way before you could test that early, and didn't find out for another ten days.

To this day I don't know whether the 'little boy' is the one we lost, Christian David, or our new baby boy who needed to wait another 38 weeks to be born and turn into the wonderful young man he is now. Having got the child I now call, erroneously, DS1 here with me, I'm sort of hoping the one waiting is Christian and that one day we'll be together.

Enough. Babies are all a miracle. And despite your protestations Dondon, I hope you do get those twins. Each child brings a blessing. smile

The final twist to the story is that Christian actually had a twin who I lost at only 7 weeks. I'll never know for sure, but I think she was a little girl. No messages about her though!

dondon33 Mon 25-Feb-13 20:10:32

Homebird I'm so sorry that happened, I've got tears streaming here.
What happened to you in church, gave me goosebumps - it's just not to explain is it. You could be clairaudient.
I hope it's Christian too and I hope that your little girl waits with him - they have a connection that can't be broken whether in this world or the spirit world.

I've had many 'not to explain' situations and also I've seen ghost's/spirit's with my own eyes - a few that I didn't know but more so my own family members -
I've been told that I have 'the gift' particularly in the clairvoyant and Clairsentience area's, and if only I'd stop being afraid and learn to use it properly then I'd be able to understand a lot more. confused One day, maybe I'd like to but I'm not ready yet to take it further.

Homebird8 Tue 26-Feb-13 07:16:03

Thanks Dondon. I think the thing I have learned most in life is that you never know what is going on in other people's lives. I reckon we should all be a bit kinder to each other and most of all a bit kinder to ourselves.

I get that you're not ready to explore your abilities further at the moment. Just because we can do things doesn't mean that we always should, or should straight away.

The oddest thing about the voice was the words. It's not anything I would have imagined. I'd have probably gone for words of bland comfort if I'd made it up. There are things in this world which we will never explain.

Lazarus, I can understand seeking that comfort in hope for the future. I trust you found some and that things got better after your difficult year. Hooray for your pragmatic DH. Your truth is your truth. His is his. If only we all could be so accepting and supportive.

I have to blow DH's trumpet in the Homebird household too. He is currently spending his daytimes teaching kids to sail, as well as looking after our boys and the house and being a fantastic support (even getting me two gorgeous onion tarts made for work when I'd over-promised my time and said I could make them for an interdepartmental cooking contest on behalf of my team) all when my own career has turned up a notch and I'm hyperbusy myself.

Talking of DHs, has anyone heard from J&J. Trusting her family are all doing well and she doesn't mind us attending the 'hope on a rope coffee shop' just in case. If you're reading J&J, thanks for being the catalyst for some lovely people to get together. thanks

lazarusb Tue 26-Feb-13 19:40:24

I haven't heard from J and J. I'm hoping it's just because she's been busy and I'm sure she's thinking of us as well. Fingers crossed her dh has managed to line up Bar School for later this year.

What lovely posts! I had 2 early mcs and like to think they are waiting for me somewhere. They were part of my bad year. It started to improve about 6 months after I'd seen the medium - she gave me the strength to keep going. Your church story is interesting Homebird, I had a similar experience in very early pregnancy with dd. I was lying in bed - I used to drag getting up out, dreading going to the loo and sending a prayer up (I'm not even religious!). I swear I felt someone sit on the end of the bed and pat my feet. I like to think it was my Nan, telling me it was going to be ok this time.

I hope that hasn't depressed anyone - especially you, dondon. Hope you are ok at the moment and still not symptom spotting. You'll be waiting for a spirit to turn up now! grin

dondon33 Tue 26-Feb-13 21:20:21

Aw Lazarus of course it hasn't depressed me, I'm sorry that you lost your babies and I'm sure that your little ones are waiting for you too.

It's funny you mention your Nan coming to reassure you - when I've sometimes been feeling down in my life I often 'feel' my great Gran around me, I feel her exactly like I did on earth- She used to love nothing more than sitting me in front of her and brushing/stroking my bum length hair when I was small - I feel exactly that happening and also smell she's around (unforgettable, unmistakable smell of Poison perfume smile ) It doesn't happen often but at times when I've needed to be reassured or given strength she's visited.

Homebird Mmmm onion tarts smile Mr Homebird sounds like a goodun ;)

I'm hoping that JandJ is just busy with life and that everything's all good.

I'm still waiting..... Af should be today/tomorrow - feeling very much like she's coming but we'll see smile
I don't know how I haven't gave in and tested yet, patience is not one of good points confused

dondon33 Tue 26-Feb-13 21:27:22

of *my good points.

dondon33 Thu 28-Feb-13 13:05:50

Update - Feb is not my month sad
But it's only my first try smile so positive thinking for March x

lazarusb Thu 28-Feb-13 19:32:27

Sorry to hear that...but you don't want a November baby anyway, would get in the way of all your Christmas shopping. At least with a December baby you'll have it all done by then (and you won't need to get dh a present - what could be better than a baby!).

Like you say, it's only the first month. You can enjoy a few more practice sessions in March grin

(Hope you don't mind my flippant sense of 'humour').

dondon33 Fri 01-Mar-13 03:41:58

Of course not, your SOH sounds very similar to mine - My actual words to dp were (after I'd broken it gently that we weren't successful) ' so you have to 'give' extra blushgrin this month because I don't want my due date to be at xmas'
If we're lucky this time - I'd be due the first week of Dec - If I get next af and have to try the cycle after- due date would be right around xmas shock
I had a few friends with birthdays either right before or right after and they said they hated it being so close.... but it's tough titty isn't it, if it's meant to be, it will be smile

lazarusb Fri 01-Mar-13 10:16:33

Absolutely! smile When we started trying for ds2 we were planning for a March/April due date - he was born mid-feb! Best of luck for a convenient due date.

lazarusb Mon 04-Mar-13 09:25:36

Hope everyone is well & had a nice weekend. It's sunny here today -woo hoo! Still fairly fresh but no huge winter padded coat needed this morning smile

dondon33 Mon 04-Mar-13 17:56:01

I had a quiet w/e. Hope you had a good one.
It looked like a summers day here....from the window!!
Checked the temp-said 3 degree's so decided to leave thick padded coat,gloves and hat was bloody freezing twatting siberian wind smile Won't make that mistake again.

Hope everyone's well x

lazarusb Wed 06-Mar-13 13:29:01

It felt springlike in Canterbury yesterday smile but is grey again today. Have been overwhelmed with study lately. Grades not so good at the moment so I am struggling with that. I'm not failing, just not where I want to be. Exam dates now in - only 4 weeks from the end of term hmm Pressure kicking in a bit there now too....Roll on mid-May, I'll just be worrying about results from then on in!

dondon33 Wed 06-Mar-13 14:18:28

Cloudy here today but not as cold smile

I'm not surprised you feel overwhelmed but it sounds very much like you're in control Lazarus so long as you know you've given 100% and tried your best you can't ask much more of yourself. Just the word exam gives me a shiver shock
Wishing you the very best of luck with it all.
Mid May is not that far away wink

lazarusb Wed 06-Mar-13 18:54:11

smile Thanks for that - I was just coming back to apologise for my miserable, moany post! I know plenty of people have more problems than me and my degree is not the be all & and all! But thanks for your support - it is appreciated thanks

dondon33 Wed 06-Mar-13 19:04:53

We're all allowed a moany post now and again ;)
It doesn't matter what we moan about - it's important to us.
Have this wine relax and chill out for 30 mins then get back to your studying smile x

Homebird8 Fri 08-Mar-13 05:53:06

I was just about to say that Dondon. You can have a moan whenever you need to Lazarus. If it's important to you then that's ok by us.

I'm not getting on MN much at the moment. My new work venture is finally underway and I'm loving every moment. Even DH is applying for jobs and has had a successful phone interview for a role he'd really like yesterday. I say successful because they got straight back to him today to set up a face to face interview for Monday. They aren't waiting around are they?

I hope things are going as well for J&J's DH in planning his future!

Don't beat yourself up Lazarus about grades. It's hard balancing the time for everything and you can only do what you can do. I'm sending you some concentration in a little long life package for you to open whenever you need it. I did my PhD a couple of decades ago now and remember how hard it was to study around everything else. I wouldn't fancy that sort of pressure again. Have a wine

As for your endeavours Dondon, I don't think I should send you concentration so I'm packaging up relaxation and gentleness for your current project. Be kind to yourself! Here's some thanks

lazarusb Fri 08-Mar-13 09:42:54

Thank you both thanks You are so sweet!

Things have improved a bit - 2 essays down, 2 to go! My dissertation was hanging in the balance as I was 2 marks below the threshold, however, despite the Director of Learning Studies offering to come into bat for me (unprompted!), they have decided that my record speaks for itself and I can do my dissertation as planned grin It's in an area that I'm passionate about (vulnerable people & dignity) with a twist on how devolution might affect that. I've been planning it for a year and had an influential supervisor in place since November so I would have been devastated if they'd said no.

Grades annoy me because I am in the minority of students (apparently) that still attend seminars & do the work necessary to contribute in them and still do assignments. A lot of them seem to either not attend or not do the reading but end up with better grades by virtue of the extra time they have hmm

Homebird Best wishes for your dh on Monday - I will keep my fingers crossed for him. I will take that wine and raise a glass to all on this thread, past and present, that all is peaceful in our/their lives.

dondon Hope all is well with you at the moment and you are on track with your new project.

dondon33 Fri 08-Mar-13 19:14:15

Go on then, I'll have a wine or 3 I'm allowed, I'm pre - ovulation smile
Clink-clink - cheers to all x

I'm all prepared, I found a site here to order cheap ovu test kits - they cost a small fortune to buy in the pharmacy here, last time cost roughly £7 for just 5 shock !!
I pretty much know 'when' anyway but sooo not the point.
Time to get cracking soon blush , I'm knackered already just thinking about it smile
Although I very nearly put myself out of action today......the bloody snow is back here sad angry and I done a bit of a bambi- on- ice impression while leaving the subway on my way home from work surprised my hips didn't snap how far apart my legs went smile

Homebird Glad you're loving the new work stuff and best of luck to your DH, will keep fingers crossed for him.

Oh Lazarus that would be hugely annoying to me too, sounds like you're doing your best though, keep it up, it'll all pay off in the end. The dissertation sounds really interesting btw, best of luck with it.

Hoping all's well for J and J and anyone lurking too, take care all and have a good weekend.

lazarusb Sat 09-Mar-13 10:54:18

Hope you are all right dondon. I bought ovulation tests when we were trying for dd....I became a bit obsessed tbh! I always knew when I was ovulating anyway so not entirely sure why I bothered but somehow it made me feel better! Best of luck for this month! smile

The area I'm focusing is very poorly addressed by the law, dignity has more or less been considered via case law (even in the European court) than statute. Some English judges have a very strange idea what dignity constitutes at times though...I'm quite looking forward to criticising them!

dondon33 Sat 09-Mar-13 12:36:15

I am good Lazarus thanks. I'm not becoming obsessed yet I find them more a p.i.t.a, I spend testing week constantly needing a wee smile

I'm pretty confident that I know when I ov through natural signs but as I'm not an 'every 28 day' gal I thought it best to use the tests to make sure, I continue until the test goes negative and it signals it's happened - although it's still not concrete and only doing temps would prove that (but I don't want nor need to do that at this point) It will also help if nothing happens for a while and we need to return to the GP.

I'm hopeful for this month, after only 1 try at calculated trying - Dp was rather hmm that it was NO!! smile bless him! However, he's now decided, with a little prod from me, that he's not bothered about Dr Shettles any more and would like to revert to the old 'you get what you're bloody well given' method of baby sex selection smile It dawned on him that due to timing it correctly, it could take a lot longer to get pregnant.
I've also collected the baby dust given by my 5 ttc friends over on the conception boards, yes 5!!!! who are already pregnant in march smile smile

There's so much within the boundaries of Dignity that both touch and rile me (the law parts) I agree England is utter pants with this one, on so many levels and would do well to remember that dignity is a basic part of our human rights, rather than just an attachment to.
It's mind boggling that ECHR/ HRA brought in forced the laws of dignity back in 1998 and we're still so far behind in so much of it (Judges in the UK?)
I remember (many moons ago) touching this subject and reading that the difficulty we (still) have with defining dignity goes back to the 1950's ECHR - it wasn't fully and clearly expressed and therefore absent from the Human Rights Act confused
There is 'some' positive forward movement but not enough in my humble opinion.

> Right! dondon stay away from the soapbox and go have a coffee/do some ironing smile

lazarusb Sat 09-Mar-13 12:56:39

So good to find a like-minded soul! My dissertation supervisor is very vocal in this area too smile There is no clear definition which is applicable to all. I'd like to think the law is moving in the right direction, albeit slowly. Maybe I'll be in a position to help it firm up a bit more one day.

I was never regular either which is why I did the sticks & temps. Strangely enough, the only time I've been naturally regular has been since dh's vasectomy last summer and I've had non-painful,symptomless, 2 day periods shock I wonder if I'm peri-menopausal but seeing as they are easy to deal with, I'm not too worried either way at the moment!

dondon33 Sat 09-Mar-13 13:14:10

Maybe I'll be in a position to help it firm up a bit more one day

Hurrah!!! I truly hope so Lazarus

Hmm, that is strange isn't it but on the plus side, at least you don't have much of an inconvenience each month and the fact your DH has had a vasectomy means you obviously don't want more DC- so yeah, in your position, I wouldn't worry neither smile

lazarusb Sat 09-Mar-13 15:34:18

Physically I couldn't carry another baby well, practically it would be very much a problem. I am very happy with the 3 I've got...ds1 is 23 now so the next baby in my vicinity could actually be a Grandchild!! I'm much happier getting older not on the Pill too smile

dondon33 Sat 09-Mar-13 17:31:53

Ooo!! a Grandchild ;) smile technically I'm old enough too shock

I love not taking the pill - I don't like any hormones in my body, I can only take the mini pill anyway and absolutely nothing with oestrogen (due to focal migraine/mini stroke type symptoms) so I'm quite limited.

I'm a little worried about the carrying part of pregnancy - I've got a damaged spine L3 and L4 area's, it's mostly my disc's affected but I've been assured by (what feels like a million) Dr's and specialists that pregnancy won't make it deteriorate, they can't promise me what the pain will be like in late preg
nor if I'll be able to maintain mobility but it won't damage me. I can't have epidural for births but I don't want it anyway as that's what caused the
problem with Ds1 (can't prove it but my consultant is fairly sure as the
damage is exactly the places they tried to put epi twice while I was in
labour hmm) he has also done a study about the disadvantages/risks of giving epi's to children (under 18's) apparently there's a huge amount of young girls (like myself, I'd just turned 17) who have varying degree's of damage.
He's unsure what can be done though - it's not like it can be refused
as a form of pain relief if someone asked for it - enforced torture because of age.... court of Human Rights would have a field day with that one smile

lazarusb Sun 10-Mar-13 13:39:20

That's a coincidence - I can only take the mini-pill because of migraines. Unfortunately it did terrible things to me - 8 day heavy periods, a week break then another 8 days. My GP told me I'd have to live with it hmm so, in the end I came off the pill altogether and told dh he'd have to sort something else out grin I'm 41 anyway, it was time for a break!

I also have Osteoarthritis in my lower spine which has been difficult to deal with at times, discs, numb legs, muscle spasms...I can live without them getting any worse!

Ds1's partner is in the first year of her PhD so I think it will be a few years before they start having planned dcs anyway!

You might have to hang on a bit before I can represent you in the ECHR on torture grounds though...grin

dondon33 Sun 10-Mar-13 14:29:05

Hormones have a lot to answer for, especially synthetic ones. I didn't have too much of a problem with the mini pill with periods, a little erratic but it was more the mood swings that made me stop it - it made me crazy, snappy, moody, weepy, totally over emotional - I had to get off it and felt so much better within a few weeks. My ex had the snip as I was too young to be steralised when I asked for it.

Back problems and all the pain related is so tiring isn't it?, even just standing up/sitting down on a bad day feels like a marathon. I'm immune to the daily twinges/pain now - it's always there but only puts me out of action if the discs flare/bulge then they in turn aggravate my sciatic nerve and that's when the hell startsangry Luckily it's not often so I can live with that. Not that I have much choice in the matter - My consultant has told me he'll willingly send me to each and every Surgeon in the country - there's not one that would risk operating on me because of the risk involved - I'm mobile, have good movement and can manage my pain = not worth risking paralysis. I agree.

I don't blame the NHS for what happened, it was 18 years ago and I have to believe they weren't aware of what 'could' happen, certainly no studies had been conducted - I requested an epi, fully aware of the health risks involved (what I was told at that time) and they carried out my request - can't argue with that really.
I just hope that they start to make people 100% aware, especially very young women whose spines are not fully developed,of the risks involved with it.
What I feel most angry about is not only did I sit there while the anaesthetist pierced my spine multiple times trying to get it in the space and of course, I've had to deal with the after effects for all this time after but IT DIDN'T even BLOODY WORK!! shock I can laugh at the irony now, I've learned to, no point crying over spilled milk smile

lazarusb Sun 10-Mar-13 16:49:54

...This is bizarre - I am in exactly the same boat re:discs and pain. Not bad enough for risky surgery but bad enough to have a serious effect on my day to day life when it flares up. Looks like if when I get a Training Contract I will be travelling to London to work every day so that could be fun hmm

I also had an epidural that didn't work when I 18...I've never tried to even look for a connection but you've made me think. I found it so traumatic I stuck to gas & air with the other 2! Like you say, once it's happened you have to deal with it really, hard as that can be. It doesn't really qualify as negligence either - we asked for it, the evidence wasn't available at that point in time...mind you, repeatedly jabbing at a spine doesn't sound like a good idea!

I hope your next pregnancy goes well and you won't find mobility too much of a problem smile I will send you positive back related vibes.

dondon33 Sun 10-Mar-13 19:54:44

It is bizarre!
The travelling certainly doesn't sound like fun sad We travel a lot by car and long distance like the whole of Europe and honestly I'm like a worm, I literally can't sit still for longer than 20/30 mins, I get so much pain and numbness. I can't stand still for that matter - Dp laughs at me because he says I'm always dancing smile You know when you've just had a baby and you do that rocking back and forth thing whilst on your feet - to compensate for the loss of weight upfront? I do it all the time, I'm defo not dancing smile smile

Hmm epidural at a young age could of struck again - your condition can be caused by injury or trauma so it's a possibility as that's what a bad epi does = cause trauma in the epidural space.
I also didn't have another with ds2 and 3 not because I knew what it had done, at the time of having both ds2 and 3 I wasn't in as much pain and hadn't had MRI's etc, I chose not to for the fact that it didn't work the first time and how much it hurt when they tried to insert the bloody thing.

Yeah agreed they're not negligent - I insisted I wanted it and was warned about all the side effects that they knew about. My Mum was going mental at the time, she'd had one a few times, and was asking WTH they were doing as each attempt he made in the two different Lumbar area's he had to use all clean equipment (the needles and catheter etc..) so she knew something wasn't right. I personally don't think it went where it should have or else it would have worked to some degree.

I'm ready for it to hurt in pregnancy - I always carry huge and have big pet elephant whoppers for babies but I'll survive smile it's not forever and worth it.
I appreciate your vibes smile

lazarusb Mon 11-Mar-13 13:42:29

I know how you feel - I have a 2hour seminar once a week and it's impossible to keep still. The chairs are comfy (for everyone else with their young, strong backs envy), but I'd rather have a hard, high backed chair!

Car journeys are a nightmare and driving long distances a complete no-no.

We have snow again in East Sussex! Maybe a day off tomorrow I think...can't see the trains running in this smile

dondon33 Mon 11-Mar-13 15:50:35

Same here - snowing AGAIN!! sad but apparently the end is near - Spring officially on it's way from Friday in Poland smile

lazarusb Fri 15-Mar-13 13:51:12

Sorry, been chocka for the last few days but it feels like there's a glint of light at the end of the tunnel (hope it's not a train!).

Snow has gone here but we were housebound for a day. I couldn't get to Uni so did a bit of study and fell asleep while dh and the dcs amused themselves smile Felt like I'd had a holiday when I woke up! Still very cold here and wet, I can't wait to feel some warmth from the sun, I really dislike winter, especially when it drags on so long!

Hope everyone is well, have a nice weekend.

foolonthehill Fri 15-Mar-13 13:57:54

thanks for cheer us up

dondon33 Fri 15-Mar-13 15:30:45

Hi all,

Brrr sounds awful Lazarus (the housebound part didn't though) smile glad it's starting to clear.
Here - apparently from Sunday - it's the end of winter and it's horrid weather smile smile I hope so, but then as it gets closer to summer I'll start whinging again....I love a hot 2 week blast of scorching sunshine but can't manage 3 months in 30+ degree heat, with no air con :@ I'll surely melt.
My favourite months here are april/may and sept/oct.

Thanks fool hope you're well x

Have a great weekend everyone x

AutumnDreams Fri 15-Mar-13 15:43:49

Much love and warm wishes to you all. So cold here again. This winter has seemed interminable. We keep getting glimpses of spring, then back to snow, rain and gloom. My poor bloody daffs don`t know if they`re coming or going......and neither do I!

dondon33 Fri 15-Mar-13 18:04:30

Hi Autumn - that weather sounds as bad as where I am, except the flowers here, have so far, thought better of poking their heads above ground yet. I'm sure it won't be long though. We've got - 13 overnight then -1 tomorrow then after that were going + smile
Hope your Daffs recover soon x

Homebird8 Fri 15-Mar-13 20:56:17

I almost feel embarrassed to chip in. The summer here has been amazing. We haven't had rain since Christmas and daily temperatures are a sunny and comfortable 26ish. Even at night it's only 15ish. Not so good for the dairy farmers who have run out of feed and the grass is brown.

DS1 had a wonderful time on his school camp this week and has come back with all his clothes that wonderful dust colour you get when the ground is cracked and dry. Bring on the rain and the dust will turn to mud just in time for hock season which the boys have trials for tomorrow.

We're also unexpectedly deep into opera here too. Both boys have been persuaded not by me I might add to audition for the NZ Opera. Big one for a singing part in Noah's Fludde. And little one to be Sorrow in Madame Butterfly. I'm not even very keen on opera! I've a feeling I may be watching the first performance, if they get the parts, and then MumsNetting in the dressing rooms for the rest.

Other news on the home front. DH got his job and starts on Monday. Now, can any of you have the children after school for me? Flights could be a little issue I fear.

Best wishes for all your endeavours lovely ladies and hope the thaw starts soon. thanks

lazarusb Fri 15-Mar-13 22:45:31

Oh Homebird, that sounds blissful..So glad for your dh, I'll happily do the school run for you (if only)! Good luck for your boys too, what amazing talent they must have. Sorry to be dim but what is hock season? Fingers crossed for that too smile

dondon I shouldn't moan really, it could be a lot worse. I think it's my French ancestral blood yearning for the Mediterranean sunshine!

fool and Autumn, lovely to see you both again. I hope things have settled down for you a bit fool. Autumn, I hope you are ok too.

Nearly Easter!

Homebird8 Sat 16-Mar-13 03:09:37

Thanks for the offer Lazarus. If you're ever passing then feel free to pick the boys up and transport them to as many activities as you can stand! Bloomin' spelling thingy. It should have said 'hockey'!

Good to see you both too Fool and Autumn. That's the thing with MN, you never know who's lurking. Hope more than the temperature is 'going positive' for you Dondon. Don't forget, 'we know what you're doing!' grin

I'll poke some thanks up for all of us. And send a bit of summer warmth your ways. smile

lazarusb Sat 16-Mar-13 11:15:25

Don't tempt me Homebird! Dh is a keen amateur photographer (he's even won an award in the past!) and would LOVE to visit your neck of the woods...glad I'm not as dim as I thought - I was racking my brain trying to justify young boys getting involved in German wine making grin

Wet, cold and windy today. It's also the 16th anniversary of my Grandmother dying so I'm a bit sad. But, Dh, my Mum and I are off to see the Hairy Bikers this evening so that should be good fun. I've given myself a day off the books today as well, first one for a month.

Have a good weekend everyone, have fun dondon wink

Homebird8 Sat 16-Mar-13 19:36:17

Now then Lazarus, if there is one thing I am great at it is justification for all forms of unharmful enjoyment. My dad spent many a happy day hour here taking photos of all sorts. He's a mad keen bird watcher and having failed to indoctrinate me as a child now enthuses to his grandsons and takes endless photos (some in focus) of birds and landscapes. Notably there are very few pictures of the children but that's Dad all over. I can guarantee that your DH would find plenty to turn his photographic attentions to should you ever make it this way. The flights are expensive but it really is worth it though you may find yourselves never wanting to go home! If you really want to provide my sons with an aspiration to a German wine business then you might have a fight on your hands. There isn't much to beat the good old Kiwi vino. It makes a very captivating evening companion.

I'll be thinking of your sad anniversary. With some people it just doesn't get any easier does it? sad A day off and a trip out will revitalise you for the books too. All part of the journey. After my PhD I'm not sure I'm brave enough to do that level of study again. Well done you. smile

dondon33 Sat 16-Mar-13 21:15:12

Me? Doing? What can you possibly mean blush smile I'm currently 5 days past ov and NOT well trying not to symptom spot.

sad Sorry Lazarus it's always tough isn't it? but I hope you enjoyed your study break and night out.

Photography - pah, I can't take a good pic to save my bloody life - I'm the queen of chopping heads off smile

Homebird8 Sat 16-Mar-13 23:24:26

I have to say, some of DH's relatives are better in a photo with their heads chopped off.

I would apologise for embarrassing you Dondon if I weren't enjoying the promise of new life so much. thanks

dondon33 Sun 17-Mar-13 08:12:25

grin That made me lol.

No apology needed wink it would have to be something worse than that to embarrass me smile

lazarusb Sun 17-Mar-13 12:10:21

dondon -mm...that sounds like a challenge! wink

Thank you both for your kind thoughts. My Nan more or less brought me up so it's especially hard. She would have loved the Hairy Bikers and their cheeky sense of humour. They were very funny smile We had a lovely meal in a fantastic Italian restaurant too, run by an Italian family.

Dh is very much a landscape/wildlife photographer although he has recently developed a penchant for urban exploration & graffiti art. His website seems to veering very much in that direction. He even makes a bit of money now and again although he does a lot of writing for free! Maybe when I eventually get a job we'll head in your direction Homebird - I think I'd be very tempted not to come home! grin

Homebird8 Sun 17-Mar-13 18:32:11

Lazarus 'challenge' grin

lazarusb Wed 20-Mar-13 09:22:03

Hope everyone is well. A big yellow thing has been in the sky a bit for the last 2 days...not sure what it is. No warmer here though!

Ladies, I need some academic advice - my dissertation supervisor is only going to be on campus once a month...she has academic study leave next year. I found out on Monday. Is that ok do you think? I have no idea if e-mail contact during that time is going to be enough! Any thoughts gratefully received!

Homebird8 Wed 20-Mar-13 18:26:21

I managed to more or less do my PhD with no supervision. My Prof. (supervisor) used to hide behind filing cabinets when he saw me coming. [Grin] I only worked out why after a couple of years. At his previous uni he'd ended up marrying one of his students and she didn't like the idea of him supervising me. It had never come up before in engineering as all the other postgrads were male. I think I saw him to talk about my work about 3 times in 3 years and he wasn't much help then. It's a good job I'm the sort of person who goes her own way. It probably saved a lot of arguments, although he didn't like it when I wouldn't add his name to my academic papers! He'd had no involvement and I didn't see why I should. Oh, the arrogance of youth!

It's more important how you feel about it Lazarus. Do you have a lot of contact now? Will it make a lot of difference? Do you have a clear idea of how things should progress? Is there anyone else in the department who could give you some interim guidance?

lazarusb Wed 20-Mar-13 18:40:27

Thanks Homebird. I think your PhD story is quite funny grin No, I don't have a lot of contact now, I much prefer independent research and study. I still want to go ahead in this area, as it is I only have a fortnight now to find a new subject and get a supervisor if I decide to go elsewhere! I know exactly where I want it to go and how...perhaps the arrogance of middle age?! wink There are other people I could go to for support if she wasn't available for any reason, it's a big department. You've set my mind at rest so thanks again, I just wasn't sure how much contact was 'normal'. She seemed to think I'd be ok with it.

dondon, hope all is well and you aren't watching the calendar too much!

J and J - if you ever get time to catch up with thread, I hope all is well with you and your family. We are still thinking of you. I hope the Bar School plans are going well.

lazarusb Sun 24-Mar-13 10:31:55

Bumping thread as it fell off my 'I'm on' section! Hope everyone is having a nice weekend smile

Homebird8 Tue 26-Mar-13 08:43:21

Hey Dondon, well?!

Great weekend thanks Lazarus. DH started his new job on Monday after wandering round all weekend wondering why he was doing it. He's really going to miss spending time with the DSs every afternoon. I guess we'll work it out in the end but at the moment we're all living a bit one hour to the next whilst we work out the childcare, and the boys work out how many things they have to remember for school and after school activities.

AutumnDreams Tue 26-Mar-13 10:13:04

Hi everyone,

Yes, do keep this lovely thread going Laz. Oh, and don`t confuse arrogance with confidence. Confidence is good. Have faith in your own judgement, and you will know when you need to ask for guidance.

Thinking of Dondon. although I promise not to keep asking "are you"? .x.

lazarusb Tue 26-Mar-13 18:29:13

Thank you Autumn - I have confidence in fits and starts! Right now I just want to get to the end of term and sort out my revision timetable..I only have 3 clear weeks before my exams start and then there's 4 in the same week hmm Can't say I'm looking forward to that!

Homebird new routines take time but people fall into place soon enough when you get used to it. I understand how your dh will miss the time with your dcs. My time is much reduced with mine since starting Uni and will be even less when I do the Learning Practice Course in London sad But I keep reminding myself that they'll benefit from us being better off financially, considering holidays, more space in a bigger house etc...and I really value the time we do have together now even more than I did before.

Homebird8 Tue 26-Mar-13 23:36:21

Hi there Autumn always good when you can drop in.

It's J&J's thread but I think she'd be happy to feel that we're all there for each other. Whatever we're going through we'll find support and friends here.

lazarusb Mon 08-Apr-13 21:35:59

Just in case any of you pop in - I just wanted to say how nice it's been getting to know you all & thank you for your support. We've had some ups & downs! I feel like this thread has come to a bit of a halt however...

Would love to stay in contact with any of you. If you'd like to do so, PM me and I'll send you my RL e-mail address.

Take care, all of you...and thanks x smile

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