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Forgotten how to handle flirting

(101 Posts)
donnasummer Tue 01-Jan-13 11:03:05

I've been single since the dawn of time. Busy with work, dc. Happy with it, no time for anything else. Then, last night there was someone at a party .. kept flirting with me, kissed me .. and I panicked! Basically froze him out the rest of the evening, it was like being 18 again. It was a small group of friends, mostly in couples, so the kissing stuff was a bit of of place. He and I were the only single ones and it was NYE ...I liked him and was attracted to him but I literally didn't know what to do! Life is just too busy to fit anyone else in and I really am too old for one nighters. I've been on my own with dc this Xmas, then they went to their dad's; I must admit I've felt a few twinges of lonliness. I had more or less accepted that I was over and done on the romantic side of things so it was really disconcerting to think that someone found me attractive, even with the beer googles on. Life is so much simpler when it's just me .. and yet, am I cutting myself off from potential happiness as well as a lot of hassle? It made me realise how useless I am with this side of life. And how I miss having someone, really. How would mnetters handle being kissed at a party? That's it, really. It's a ridiculous question from someone in their forties - years ago I'd have been fine but last night it totally threw me!

CogitoErgoSometimes Tue 01-Jan-13 11:21:13

Depends if I liked the person kissing me!!! If 'yes' I'd have snogged them right back, batted the old eye-lashes and shouted 'have that man washed and sent to my room!'. If 'no' I'd have pulled away, batted the old eye-lashes, sent him to get me another drink and then wedged myself between one of the other couples hissing 'help!!'.

You're probably just out of practise.

donnasummer Tue 01-Jan-13 11:25:42

really, really out of practise - this hasn't happened to me since the 1990s shock
I did snog him back then someone came in so I jumped away from him and pretended to be busy doing something with glassware. Then I more or less ignored him! argh!
He was nice and very funny.

chimchar Tue 01-Jan-13 11:31:09

Awww. I'd be the same (but am very married so not wanting to be kissed by anyone else!!!) be flattered that you pulled! You've obviously got it going on! wink

It's great that you liked him too. Maybe it was a bit too much of a surprise to you, but it has potential to be a relationship.

Do you know the guys name? Could you get a contact number for him through the host of the party? You could text and ask does he fancy meeting for a daytime coffee?

For what it's worth, I have no idea what I'm talking about. I think I've watched too many romcoms!!!! grin

itspeanuts Tue 01-Jan-13 11:32:25

What have you got to lose? I think it's really exciting.

Obviously the old adage is true "someone comes along when you least expect it."

I take it that you would like to see him again? Is there anyway you can get in touch with him?

CogitoErgoSometimes Tue 01-Jan-13 11:36:21

So you liked him.... <rubs hands, matchmaker plan forming> . Your girlish hard-to-get act probably struck just the right note and I expect he's scouring the streets this morning, glass slipper in hand, hoping to find you. smile Agree with the above about getting a contact number and suggesting meeting for coffee. Go on... what have you got to lose?

donnasummer Tue 01-Jan-13 11:38:57

Yes, I am quite flattered! It just shows what a skirt and heels can do ...(mind you he was dressed as a chicken ...)
He's a friend of friends so I could get in touch but I don't think he lives round here and we both have dc so logistics rule out a relationship.
It has made me think, though.

donnasummer Tue 01-Jan-13 11:40:01

crikey if he is scouring the streets I hope he got changed lol
I don't think I can (spineless)

donnasummer Tue 01-Jan-13 11:41:22

god I am useless at conversation when I fancy someone

donnasummer Tue 01-Jan-13 11:42:38

what have I got to lose? I've built a really good wall around myself so I don't get hurt, that's what I've got to lose

CogitoErgoSometimes Tue 01-Jan-13 12:00:12

Time to chisel a door into that wall. smile I've been single for far longer than I care to remember and also, initially, found it very difficult to let down my defences long enough to have a relationship with someone new for fear of getting hurt. However, by setting the bar high, keeping my 'twat radar' finely tuned and being honest with men from the outset.... e.g. dating/fun/nookie yes, moving in and rearranging my groceries, no.... it is possible to get the best of both worlds.

donnasummer Tue 01-Jan-13 12:01:52

mmm well it's not like there's a queue of them so I can probably relax! off to have a bath now, thanks for all the empathy and encouragement!

JugglingMeYorkiesAndNutRoast Tue 01-Jan-13 12:09:07

Ahh, how sweet, sounds like a lovely New Year's Eve party !

Perhaps he'll get in touch with you for another meet-up ?

chimchar Tue 01-Jan-13 12:33:21

Now I know he was wearing a chicken outfit and you fancied him a bit makes me think that this has MASSIVE potential for a big fling!!!

donnasummer Tue 01-Jan-13 14:28:14

yes, it was a really lovely party!
lol chimcar, you def have watched too many romcoms!
but get this, update, have been invited to dinner with the same group of mates later so the fat lady hasn't sung yet
am gonna pretend none of last night happened and just be friendly, I think that is the only way to stop myself acting like a plank - good,yes? jeans and a white shirt?

CogitoErgoSometimes Tue 01-Jan-13 14:39:32

If you pretend nothing happened when you see him again you'll come across either very cold or a bit weird. Why not make a (nice) joke of it instead? Break the ice. 'Sorry I ran out on you on NYE but it's been a while since I kissed a chicken...' etc.

donnasummer Tue 01-Jan-13 14:47:05

I am a bit weird I think! Neither of us will have beer goggles on today so it seems better to just go back to normal (adds bricks to wall)
you know, friendly, smiley
I am so gauche when it comes to this kind of stuff
anyway I didn't run out on him he crashed out long before me lol

CogitoErgoSometimes Tue 01-Jan-13 14:58:19

OK so your opening line changes so give it a bit of thought and use your charm rather than automatically putting up the defence shields, downplaying things or thinking he only liked you because he was pissed. (Or are you worried you only liked him because you were pissed?)

donnasummer Tue 01-Jan-13 15:05:31

I wasn't all that pissed, I am quite sensible these days and intersperse the bubbly with water - I did like him, I just wasn't expecting it and it has really thrown me. I am useless at being charming when I like someone. But I hear you, and I'll do my very best!

donnasummer Tue 01-Jan-13 15:06:02

thanks for all the advice btw cogito

CogitoErgoSometimes Tue 01-Jan-13 15:15:01

You're welcome. Look at it this way.... you charmed him plenty last night so you're really just picking up where you left off. It's going to be awkward to begin with but, as one walled-up crusty old broad to another, I have huge faith that you won't need to do much more than smile to get the ball rolling.

JugglingMeYorkiesAndNutRoast Tue 01-Jan-13 15:18:44

Wow, dinner tonight ! That was quick of someone ! smile
Hope you have another lovely evening.
I agree, try to say something - I like the kiss a chicken line or some variation thereof grin

perplexedpirate Tue 01-Jan-13 15:29:58

Ooh, I miss this! Sooo exciting.
Put a dress on and do your hair scruffy/nice. Have some topics of conversation as a fall back (London fireworks, comedy shows you've seen or something equally light).
Also wear good pants. You may not need either of these things but you'll feel more confident if you know you've got them.
Happy new year, indeed! winkenvy

CogitoErgoSometimes Tue 01-Jan-13 15:40:06

<produces pencil and notebook> .... good.... pants..... grin

donnasummer Tue 01-Jan-13 15:41:49

yeah I've got da pants! no intention of showing them but I know they're there! thanks for all the votes of confidence
I will do my best not to let y'all down
feeling a bit icky now, maybe I overdid it just a smidgeon xxxx
it's not a romantic dinner it's a group roast (not in the footballer sense)will check in later

JugglingMeYorkiesAndNutRoast Tue 01-Jan-13 15:46:36

Looking forward to an update later ...
Mrs Nosey x

CogitoErgoSometimes Tue 01-Jan-13 15:49:23

group.... roast...... (these friends of yours are really setting you up aren't they?)

ColdHandLou Tue 01-Jan-13 15:49:46

LOL at group roast! Have fun . . .

chimchar Tue 01-Jan-13 19:15:14

Oooh. How exciting!

Please let us know how things progress with chicken man!

Hope you enjoy your night.

CogitoErgoSometimes Tue 01-Jan-13 19:20:04

Flirty opening gambit #2

"Glad you didn't wear your chicken suit to the group roast... I might have been tempted to ask for stuffing"

<Randy wobbly old lady emoticon>

Mynewmoniker Tue 01-Jan-13 19:28:05

Just think! eggs with every date! grin

Where did he perch last night?

donnasummer Tue 01-Jan-13 19:28:49

pmsl at cogito
I'm afraid you will all be disappointed. The roast was just a roast. We all sat round, chatted. Was a bit of a vibe going on but nothing flirty, was family and kids occasion. Then he went back to wherever he comes from. I did give him a hug goodbye but that's it, really.
Still, not a bad start to the New Year. I liked being found attractive, even through les goggles du vin.

donnasummer Tue 01-Jan-13 19:30:49

the hostess's sofabed mnm
apparently he tidied up and gave all the kids (there were many) their breakfast!

chimchar Tue 01-Jan-13 19:37:39

Oh god. Please see him again. He sounds a real catch!

If not, enjoy the ego boost and the fact that you've made me happy reading your posts! grin

ColdHandLou Tue 01-Jan-13 19:39:15

Aww, you never know if you might run into him again . . .

CogitoErgoSometimes Tue 01-Jan-13 19:42:15

He tidies, makes breakfasts and you didn't ask for a phone number or anything? <slaps forehead>

donnasummer Tue 01-Jan-13 19:44:29

chimchar I'd love to be all romcom but there was no way of doing anything remotely rom today! he seemed a bit quiet and I wondered if he was a bit embarrassed, we were all a tiny bit hungover and sleep deprived tbh
I probably will run into him again one day but he's not local
He didn't ask for my number or anything and I am sure he would have if he wanted it

donnasummer Tue 01-Jan-13 19:46:30

I know cogito, but it was all pretty public, I didn't want to ask him out in front of everyone including the dc, I think he's the fashioned type who does the running, he seems confident enough

CogitoErgoSometimes Tue 01-Jan-13 20:10:12

Forget old-fashioned girlfriend! It's 2013 now and women are allowed to do the running. Treat him as breaking your duck

donnasummer Tue 01-Jan-13 20:31:09

I'm liking your poultry theme cogito
Do you think I should sound out mutual friends about it, etc or accept that the moment has passed

CogitoErgoSometimes Tue 01-Jan-13 20:47:59

If you like the guy, think he likes you and want to see him again, get his phone number... ask about. I'm sure he'll be flattered even if he says 'no thanks'. One of my personal tenets is.... "There is no such thing as luck in life, just good opportunities and those smart enough to take them up when they see them."

Faint heart never won fair chicken!!!

donnasummer Tue 01-Jan-13 21:05:43

I'll do that, am pretty sure my friend will give me the low down! she's lovely and has known him a long time
one thing - he was quite keen to do the kissing discretely, out of sight, that's not a red flag is it? I know he is single, he doesn't seem like a player but who can tell
If I do find out more it won't hurt, it's not like I'm going to have to bump into him again
I feel totally pathetic asking all this, like a clueless teenager. Chicken man won't have given it another thought, will he? Thank for humouring me. And btw cog if you don't mind me asking, did you find a happy non grocery arranging relationship once you let the barriers down?

CogitoErgoSometimes Tue 01-Jan-13 21:18:22

I wouldn't call discreet kissing a red flag... I'd be more bothered about someone going for a big showy tonsil-tennis in public number. I bet he is thinking about you actually but, rather like you are, worried about making an idiot of himself. Got to be worth a phone-call to find out.

On non-grocery arranging relationships ... yes, I have few gentleman callers wink.

donnasummer Tue 01-Jan-13 21:24:24

I'll chat with my friend tomorrow, by which time I will have my sensible head back on
It has made me realise that maybe buying a single bed for myself was a little premature ...
good for you, you have obviously got to a place of secure self esteem.

CogitoErgoSometimes Tue 01-Jan-13 22:08:37

You're very kind but my self-esteem is just as wobbly as anyone else's... however, maintaining my independence and keeping relationships very much on my terms means it is a lot better than it was when I was with someone 24/7 smile

donnasummer Tue 01-Jan-13 22:24:14

safety in numbers? isn' t that another, granted much more amusing, way of keeping that wall up, tho?
envy grin
I don't meet many single men, certainly not ones that attract me. Hence being v out of practice. I decided it was easier to just give up with that side of life. If I did get back into it I would probably be after the ultimate in nice tidy grocery shelves. Be warned, chicken man!

CogitoErgoSometimes Tue 01-Jan-13 22:27:35

I try to keep it to just one or two at a time... not a total tart smile Yes, it is a different kind of defensive measure, you're right. But it's more fun than picking up their pants off the floor or fantasising about poisoning their cornflakes next time they don't put the loo seat down.

donnasummer Tue 01-Jan-13 22:34:32

It sounds great fun! where do you meet them, if you don't mind me asking? I tried OD for a while but couldn't get into it, I met one man I quite liked through friends but by the time he pursued it I'd lost interest (and he had a storage fetish), and this one and that's the total sum of it in omg I just counted SEVEN years! never move to the country

CogitoErgoSometimes Tue 01-Jan-13 23:55:08

All kinds of places. Online once (chatting rather than dating). I'm involved with jazz music so that's a rich seam of lonely middle-aged blokes. smile Friends of friends. Current one is an old boyfriend from way back.

donnasummer Wed 02-Jan-13 00:06:56

sounds ideal
jazz - ideal - cool lonely middle aged men. I used to flatshare with a trumpeter
Beginning to doubt last night happened, now, it all seems so improbable!

donnasummer Wed 02-Jan-13 13:24:43

been working all morning, it really does seem a dim and distant memory now, I probably did dream it! all it took was a kiss to throw me off balance, which kind of shows I am probably best suited to the work and dc lifestyle that's been my safe haven over the recent years
if he likes me that much he'll find me, won't he?

CogitoErgoSometimes Wed 02-Jan-13 13:25:39


donnasummer Wed 02-Jan-13 13:39:11

Sensible grin

bumhead Wed 02-Jan-13 15:29:05

I'm with Cog. Coward! Think how good you felt! Phone your friend and find out about him.

donnasummer Wed 02-Jan-13 15:49:24

oh, bumhead! well if I'm a coward, and he likes me, what does that make him? hmm? wink
my friend is having a family day today, I will call her tomorrow I promise if I still can't get him out of my head, cos it's really bugging me.
I feel v silly tbh
I wouldn't have looked twice at him online but there was just - chemistry. I doubt we're compatible in the sober light of day. He was probably just after a NYE shag tbh. How usual is it to grab a strange woman for a snog at a house party in your 40s? rather than asking for a phone number etc.
And yes it felt good at the time, buoyed up by a vat of champagne. But it feels pretty crap now, wasting all this energy on what ifs. I hate that part of dating. The more I think about it the more I like cog's solution. Maximise the fun and minimise the angst.
I've done about half a day's work and half a day's bloomin day dreaming. Am old enough to know better!

donnasummer Wed 02-Jan-13 15:50:37

I mean, if I'm a coward not to call then so is he, he has exactly the same option

CogitoErgoSometimes Wed 02-Jan-13 16:23:25

Two cowards then smile You remind me of a couple I met on a singles holiday once. They clearly liked each other but he was too shy to talk to her & she was too nervous to talk to him. After a VERY long, VERY boring night listening to her prevaricating over what to do I ended up (almost literally) grabbing the pair of them, sitting them down at a dinner table and saying 'Fred.. meet Fanny. Fanny... meet Fred. You really like each other now get talking!!!'

I got a Christmas card off them seven months later and they're probably still together.

Cluck... cluck... cluck cluck... smile

donnasummer Wed 02-Jan-13 16:32:26

well, yeah, I get that, on a single's holiday at least you know people are looking out for partners, I am supposed to have given up!
he wasn't backward in coming forward on NYE with his tonsil tango

donnasummer Wed 02-Jan-13 16:33:06

I'll send you an easter egg if I ever hear from the bgr

Mynewmoniker Wed 02-Jan-13 16:51:20

If you wont ask him out for a drink we will! (on your behals of course) Get your friend's number on here now! grin

Life is too short!

Mynewmoniker Wed 02-Jan-13 16:51:47

behals???? =behalf grin

bumhead Wed 02-Jan-13 17:00:06

He might be a bit shy. And if he was just after a NYE shag, he wouldn't have been careful about kissing you in private.
Maybe he didn't think you fancied him in the cold light of day.
You never know, he might be kicking himself right now for not asking for your number, like you said it was difficult to do that yesterday with kids/people every where.
And if there was chemistry...well in my experience that's worth it's weight in gold!
Phone your friend tomorrow and at least get the low down on this guy. Or give me her number, I'll phone her for you! grin
If you contact this guy and ask if he is interested in a coffee and he says no then you haven't lost anything, it's his loss. But what if he says yes?? grin

donnasummer Wed 02-Jan-13 17:01:46

I've got a better idea, I'm gonna call it aversion therapy
I'm going to drink half a bottle of white wine and watch Cary Grant til the very idea of romance makes me teeth ache (in chic lit films - you there chimchar?! -this will bring him to my door with a big bunch of exotic blooms and a bottle of jack daniels quicker than you can say, oh, I dunno - cary grant. In real life it will make me so sickened with boredom I will be able to go in to work tomorrow a new woman). I am going to top this up by reminding myself of all the things about him that could really begin to grate - I mean, come, who dresses as a friggin chicken?! and all the pitfalls, like us both being middle aged with children and all the potential complications of that. Only if this fails will I call my poor unsuspecting mate. I will know by the morning. OK?

donnasummer Wed 02-Jan-13 17:03:34

bumhead if he says yes, obviously I'll be on here like a gibbering wreck again instead of pursuing my normal statesmanlike existence, so that would be really bad and would drive poor cog right up the spout

glitch Wed 02-Jan-13 17:20:44

Thank you for posting your saga. It is giving me hope from the land of 40 and single (now get his number!!!). grin

donnasummer Wed 02-Jan-13 17:27:31

glitch hope is our enemy! back to 'Notorious'

chimchar Wed 02-Jan-13 22:56:09

Oh fuck! I missed this still going!!!

It's bloody obvious you luff him. wink

Put your Bridget jones pants on, and sob into a wine glass...he'll come running!!!!

Aww. But seriously. Get some feedback from your friend and report back.

donnasummer Wed 02-Jan-13 23:11:08

Nope, I've done the old dressing gown and even older film routine, and he still hasn't shown up! grin
so now for the things that could grate
I suspect he may be public school, he wears silly hats, then there's our respective dc and logistical complication, he repeated anecdotes and looked pissed off when I reminded him, he persuaded me to try on a wonder woman outfit, he used the word 'hot', then there was all the snogging and at one stage he suggested going into the garden shock. I think he was after a shag and had me down as old and desperate (correctly, as it turns out grin). I really really don't want to chase him.
But a promise is a promise and I will sound my mate out if he is still in my head tomorrow!

chimchar Wed 02-Jan-13 23:15:33

Well ok. That's a deal then.

Find out...if he likes you sober, can we consider a little coffee date?

I need to see some lovely romance. There is not enough love in the world.

I'll get my coat! grin

donnasummer Wed 02-Jan-13 23:24:45

he had the delights of seeing me hungover sober the next day and he didn't seem all that impressed
I am middle aged and I look it. I live in a patchily pebbledashed semi that needs work doing and isn't very tidy. I shop on ebay. I don't have hobbies unless you include writing unpulishable novels. I have spend the day in my dressing down, albeit doing some work online. I have a dd and a very difficult ds.
God love us it will take a lorryload of the old romance to sugar coat this!

glitch Thu 03-Jan-13 14:44:20

Any news?
I have no excitement in my life so relying on yours instead grin

donnasummer Thu 03-Jan-13 22:16:12

nada, glitch no excitement here either. Last night's aversion therapy did the job. I got up, went for a run, went in to work then on the way home a friend invited me for curry so only just got in. If there are any developments I'll update the thread. I'm happy smile. Three cheers for sensible!

donnasummer Sat 05-Jan-13 21:09:39

feeling a bit smarter, physically and emotionally - hurray for the sales!
OK then how should I put it to my mate? i liked your friend? ouch, cringe

donnasummer Fri 15-Feb-13 18:15:58

ok update
no further contact except for a brief sighting on a busy family occasion
flowers on my doorstep yesterday and a card with a joke about snogging - no idea who it could be from but have not snogged anyone else?

GreenEyedGirlxxx Sat 16-Feb-13 19:17:01

I've just read this. Have you found out who they are from?? Have you heard from him? Are you going to contact him...?

donnasummer Sat 16-Feb-13 19:35:59

I really really have no idea! hand delivered by someone who knows where I live but can't spell my name. There is literally no one else I have had any kind of flirtation with. I live in a village, where everyone is married off or really, really insanitary. So I am hoping it IS him! I guess whoever it is will reveal their identity in due course, right now I am not reacting.

Jellykat Sat 16-Feb-13 19:55:20

Oooo ooo exciting! it's gotta be him surely.. especially as you've not played tonsil hockey with anyone else.. smile

< fingers massively crossed >

Will you keep us updated please? i'll need to know now!

donnasummer Sat 16-Feb-13 20:12:24

well if it is, I'll give him top marks for effort and ingenuity! will def update

ProphetOfDoom Sat 16-Feb-13 20:29:21

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

kalidanger Sat 16-Feb-13 20:30:12

flowers on my doorstep yesterday and a card with a joke about snogging

Probably from Cogito attempting to encourage you to JUST BLOODY STALK OUT HIS NUMBER CALL HIM shock

ProphetOfDoom Sat 16-Feb-13 20:31:10

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PhieEl06 Sat 16-Feb-13 20:48:57

I have just read all of this, oh my it could be a book it's so very modernly romantic. Get his number & call him or at least sound your mutual friend out, ask if she's spoken to him recently just ask about him, I agree with previous posters I am excited for you!! Accept that things like this can happen & yes stop being a coward, when was the last time you had mystery flowers on valentines day?! Possibly if you meet up with your mutual friend in person & mention these flowers she may have that guilty smile on her face as she could of gave him your address for the flowers. Oh please please please follow this, it sounds so romantic!!

GreenEyedGirlxxx Sat 16-Feb-13 22:21:56

You have to sound your friend out and/or get his number. It's so exciting and if it is him who has sent them, this could turn into something really special. Strike while the iron's hot (and while the flowers are still alive!!)

donnasummer Sun 17-Feb-13 11:15:07

lol at you lot, you are more excited than I am - where's the fire?! cogito, if it was you, nice roses, you could always take them out of the cellophane for that extra special touch
and when you rip the price off, rip ALL of it off
I am seeing my friend on Friday so I may mention, in passing ....just to update you properly you understand grin

ArtsMumma Tue 19-Feb-13 22:37:41

is anyone else dying for a happy (or night of passion) ending to this? do update OP it sounds so lovely! smile

GreenEyedGirlxxx Mon 25-Feb-13 21:49:31

We need an update OP!!!

donnasummer Mon 25-Feb-13 21:59:54

either my friend is greta garbo or she hasn't a clue who sent them either! I don't know how I am ever going to find out unless the mystery person reveals themselves!

TDada Mon 25-Feb-13 23:19:47

Come on my son!

AnyFucker Mon 25-Feb-13 23:59:35

bloody hell, this is a great thread grin

ProphetOfDoom Tue 26-Feb-13 13:36:02

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Cheddars Tue 26-Feb-13 13:55:12

Your friend needs to organise another party chicken suit optional

That way you can both decide without much pressure whether you want to take it further.

glitch Tue 26-Feb-13 14:06:02

Oh my goodness, how exciting (once again with nothing slightly romantic in my life I can live the excitement via you! grin ).
What did the card say? I need details.
Hope it's him.

donnasummer Tue 26-Feb-13 16:25:44

the card said to (name spelt wrong, but plausibly wrong iyswim) from ?squiggle
the thing that made me wonder about chicken was the preprinted joke thing saying the sender preferred to express themselves with a snog
since all enquiries have drawn a blank I can only conclude it's a local crackpot
was hand delivered while I was at tesco's (the glamour)
actually if it wasn't for this thread I would have forgotten it by now, whereas you romantics are after a stunning finale with fireworks a vicar and a huge cake! I don't use fb much, most of my phone contacts are straight women, gay men and married couples
the only mildly suspicious thing was when I was chatting to my friend about it I said maybe it's a joke and she was convinced it wasn't
whoever it is has miscalculated my level of patience for conundra! with apologies for the lame ending to this brief and tepid romance, I'm afraid it's more anita brookner than el james

donnasummer Tue 26-Feb-13 16:27:10

another party? good god woman two in one year, who do you think I am paris hilton? grin

glitch Tue 26-Feb-13 17:59:05

Have you been out to question the neighbours to see if they saw anyone?
Surely if it was him he will make a move soon.

donnasummer Tue 26-Feb-13 18:05:30

lol no, and I didn't dust the doorstep for fingerprints either!
you wouldn't see much, is pretty dark here in t'country
I think it's a bit weird not to follow up by providing some kind of hint to his identity but the world's a weird weird place ...

Walkacrossthesand Wed 27-Feb-13 09:07:50

Well, he obviously has the patience to play the long game - 6 weeks since NYE and this happens! Sounds like he has the ear of one of your friends - so i expect he'll have asked when's your birthday.. Hope it's not too long for us to wait, we'll die of impatience grin

feelokaboutit Wed 27-Feb-13 10:26:56

Hi donna, I too have read your whole thread and enjoyed it!

It must be chicken man (sorry don't know what else to call him) who sent you the flowers?? Can you get his number off your friend and invite him for lunch or dinner or something - please?? You are thinking of his "bad points" and yes, a fling may be short lived, but you won't know until you try??

How old is he roughly, out of interest?

As someone who is in a totally and utterly unromantic "marriage" (and yes, I mean totally and utterly), I am a little envious envy.

feelokaboutit Wed 27-Feb-13 10:29:26

Plus there are ways to protect yourself so you don't end up trapped. The ground rules are, don't move in together or amalgamate your finances in any way... You can still have fun though... Maybe I am underestimating the emotional damage letting your guard down could do... or like others on this thread, just living vicariously smile!

CajaDeLaMemoria Wed 27-Feb-13 10:41:23

Have to say, I agree. Go for it. You have nothing to lose, but if you do nothing, you'll always wonder what if.

Also, I'm bed-bound at the moment and need entertaining, so if you could contact him today and update that'd be good wink

Great thread! Flowers are definitely from the feathered one.

Just ask your mutual friend for his number pleaseeee!

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