Note: Mumsnetters don't necessarily have the qualifications or experience to offer relationships counselling or to provide help in cases of domestic violence. Mumsnet can't be held responsible for any advice given on the site. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.
The Brave Babes Battle Bus - New Year? So, Let's Go Up A Gear!
(1000 Posts)Hello, tis me, Mouse (normally Mouseface but I'm wearing my festive name 
)
Welcome to the Brave Babes Battle Bus, to a place of solace, support and sanctuary, if that's what you seek of course. It's also a Bus full of bloomin' chatterboxes, waffling on about life, love and all things from school reports to laundry! 
The journey into 2013 is going to be an ass kicking one as we're moving up a gear to give the WineWitch a bloody good slapping, and the BoozeBeast a kick in the bollo.............
Some of us drink in moderation, some of us drink. Some of us are sober, some of us are trying so very, very hard to be.
Some of us have been dry for days, weeks, months and some of us years...... some of us are just starting out and are scared of what stopping drinking means. It's not forever, it's just for today if that's what you want.
We have a saying on the Bus One Day At A Time. Or ODAAT
Take each moment, each day and each blip as it comes. The support on this Bus has kept me from ruining my life time and time again. The experiences of others shared here has helped me to change the way I see alcohol, the way I see what it does to me.
Although some Babes have been here a while and kind of 'know' each other, we all have different lives, different roles to play, different places to sit on the Bus, but we ALL have or have had abusive relationships with alcohol and we're here because we want that to change; for the better.
Everyone is welcome here so don't be afraid to just jump right in and say hi. Post as much or as little as you like!
So, come say hi, grab a seat, an eggnog (non alcoholic of course 
) and a mince pie, or chocolate chip cookie, and meet some lovely, genuine people who are just like YOU.
Also, HERE IS THE PREVIOUS THREAD with a link in the OP to the first ever thread, and the reason why after more than two and a half years, this thread is still here, supporting those in need.
Taking seat and admiring purple's new pants
mouse this Christmas there are so many bugs about, don't know any family unscathed. Sis has just texted they have vomiting bug, we have spent the last three days with them. On the plus side if we come down with it tonight that's the inlaws definately cancelled
at Green! Taking a seat in my pants - and sod all else!
Strangely enough, I bought the DC novelty pants for Christmas - and the loved them!! DD got some Where's Wally pants and she thinks they are sooo cool! Missing my children tonight. 
<Fiddling with the air con as it's a tad chilly in just pants!!>
Hmmmmmm 
This onsie Green, what does it look like?
Perhaps I could just get them to courier them up and just send back a video message right will try to get to sleep and hope tomorrow is better. Good night babes xx
<<nabs seat in sidecar>>
PS - Who is actually driving the bus today? Haven't heard from Silver in Isinde in ages.
Any volunteers? My legs aren't long enough to reach those pedals and my eyesight aint what it used to be
Morning all.
Nice new thread.
All's well chez help- in that I'm happy and sober while all around me are melting in various post Christmas/ flu type lurgies. Off on holiday shortly (if I can get packed and the rest feel well enough to be driven) so won't be around for a week. Might be back with a bump as we're coming home early for my gland surgery- fingers crossed.
Love and HALT to you all.
help have a lovely holiday and good luck with the surgery!
mouse forgot to say yesterday love the new thread intro.
Hope everyone is well today, peeling burning hell continues here. Saw another doc, doesn't know what it is, swabs not back till monday - I am basically being given treatment for everything, antifungals, antibiotics, antivirals. Not much sleep last night with pain and worry - have some aneasthetic cream now so hopefully will help - inlaws are coming - show must go on and all that - I'll just go in the garden every half hour and scream
Anyway thanks babes, needed to offload but enough of my nether regions, how is everyone today?
Forrotor don't be put off by my moaning by the way - we do talk about matters alcohol related usually not our sexual health! Hope you are okay today are you planning on drinking?
Hi Forrotor, welcome aboard the bus. I'm new to this too but have found lots of help & support aboard the bus. My situation sounds similar to yours, in that I don't drink all the time but when I do I binge & then always regret my behaviour. My 13 year old dd has told me many times that she hates what I'm like when drunk I'm also a crap mum to my 3 year old ds when in the cycle of drink/hangover & if I have big binge it takes me days to recover...I just feel life is too short for this destructive cycle. I went to Gp & then an alcohol drop in & was referred for counselling. I had a few sessions with alcohol counsellor & I've also been seeing a counsellor for anxiety. I've found it really helpful & I am really trying to stop binging & be more aware of how many drinks I have when drinking. Huge good luck to you & I hope you find help & support that works for you. Green your situation sounds so stressful, hope something is giving you some help. Maybe having the in-laws may in some way act as a distraction. Mouse sorry your children are so poorly, hope the nasty bugs go soon
Hi babyjane would love to join you in getting healthier, feel so bloated & fed up. Been really over-indulging in food, drink, crap. Want to realistically lose 1 to 2 stones. Agree with mouse would be great to have a brave babes boot camp
Whoo hoo MA that's fighting talk that is! With you babe, want to banish fat, miserable, drunk, hungover me! 2013 is going to be the year!
alias you can do it, just little steps to start with. babyjane that sounds like such a good plan. I've been looking at a local gym that does a good rate for family membership & has a nice pool. My plan is to go in January & join up & banish junk & booze Have a party on Hogmany but going to try really hard not to drink too much then detox
Koala well done girl - amazing
Hi babes, I've been lurking for a loooong time and think I would like to hop on, quietly 
Felt like utter rubbish the past few days, I'm not I'll or hungover just in a complete downer that I can't seem to kick my DS went to his grandparents on Wednesday and feel very lonely.
This is the first Christmas I've tried to have sober and it didn't work, I drank on Saturday and it fucked my head up for days. Life feels hopeless at the minute.
I love the sound of getting fit and eating healthy but I can't even motivate myself to get out of my jammies and have a wash
Apologies for the very depressing first post.
Thanks green
Green @ star jumps!!! Wishing your 'bits' a speedy recovery. xxxxxxx
hell I was thinking i couldn't affOrd exercise until ma mentioned taking the stairs at work
Welcome aboard lostgirl so sorry that your having such a hard time. Big hugs for you
Welcome to the new babes,this is a good place to be. joey when I am on a fitness kick,I even go to the loos on the next floor up to build in extra stair climbing.
But that is on a good day. Tonight I have had two mince pies for pudding!
Purple you go girl, yes I'm very proud of you. Relapsed big-time on Christmas Day and it's been downhill since then. Halfway through my second bottle last night I decided enough was enough and managed to catch an AA meeting. Sat there pissed and blubbing but left feeling much better.
DD hugely disappointed in me and has told me she doesn't want her friends to come round anymore in case I'm loaded Gotta stay stopped this time, there's no other way. I'll join you if I may Baby and all the others who've had enough.
Hugs to you all, old and new x
Sorry, maybe I've posted too much x
Marking place....u will do this 
Oh my god purple, I was just talking tonight about how I used to pop a few extra anti depressants when I was pissed just for the shear hell of it!
On a lighter note, I also managed to get to a meeting tonight and feel a glimmer of hope again
I wish you all a restfull night xxxx
Aw purple huge hugs for you. What a complete headfuck you've been put through all your life! So sorry for your loss & sounds such a tragic waste for your mum but it sounds like your a survivor. I have many times took double sleeping tablets when I've been pissed to make sure I sleep off all the alcohol. Have also messed about with anti-depressants when had too much, it's scary to think how close you could be to something awful happening. I really get how you must feel with all the unanswered questions & feelings of abandonment. My Dad committed suicide 10 years ago & it just leaves me with so many complex feelings.
My maternal grandfather was an alcoholic & looking after him put my gran into an early grave. My whole family have issues with drink & I now see my mum turning into my Granda. It scares me as I wonder is it inevitable that that's the way I will go?
I sometimes wish that we lived in a world where alcohol just didn't exist. Or that I was a normal drinker
Purple thank you for telling us your story - I can't really find the words to express how sad I feel for you but I think it's testament to the strength of the human spirit that you are here, beautiful and strong and being such a huge support to all of us. Your children have a wonderful mother I think I'm a functioning drunk too, no-one but DD can tell when I've had a drink (I just get animated too). She must have some sort of antenna for it. She went and stayed at a friend's last night (who was supposed to come here but DD didn't want that) and I'm nervous about seeing her today. But we've texted loads and she's been saying she loves me.
Clutter I'm so sorry about your dad and like you would love a world without alcohol or for me to be a normal drinker. Lost how was your meeting, have you considered doing the steps? I'm going to one at lunchtime and am on the look-out for a sponsor. I need the tools to keep me sober, to stay stopped (stopping isn't the problem). Help did AA help you?
Kot, Green, Alias, Winey, if we stick together we can do this, we've got to. And thank you lovely Mouse for the new thread, what a great title.
soba I know how you feel with your daughter. I have been awful to my dd when drunk & then feel such shame. I'm so glad we can text as think sometimes that holds us together. You sound like you are being so strong & the fact your dd is texting to say she loves you must mean you are being a wonderful mum. It's so hard bringing up children. My dd is 13 & I feel as though I have entered a minefield! My ds who is 3 is incredibly hard work & I feel I wish his life away until a time when he is easier to manage. I feel having wine/cider/alcohol makes me forget for a while how hard it all is but then I pay for it tenfold the next day so never ever worth it! Good luck with your meeting
Afternoon, tis me, Mouse
forrotor and clutter how spooky, my dd is 13 and the other is 2 - my DD is 14 in Feb and Nemo is 4 in May...... funny how you can let the elder one kind of get on with it when you're drinking, but your younger one needs you, much to your annoyance at times, well, if you're being very honest that is? It was for me at anyway
Welcome to Forrotor and Lost
Lost - I can't even motivate myself to get out of my jammies and have a wash - that's not unusual, and you're certainly not alone. You don't need to get dressed so your mind is telling you not to bother right now I guess? You've gone into CBA mode!
Why not set yourself small goals, little tasks, small, baby steps. In your own time. Write a list of two things you want to do today, or tomorrow. And then three and so on until you reach five tasks a day.
I'm not talking climbing Everest, I'm talking a shower. Dressing, shopping for food etc. The Basics xx
Purple - you are totally amazing. You have been through so much shit and yet you come back time and again to give the WineWitch a smack in the face each time she gets to you.
YOU CAN DO THIS.
Why? Because you want to change. Maybe you don't want to be your mother? I hope that's no upset you, I'm a bit clunky with words, what I mean is that you wouldn't want to cause those you love any pain or hurt like that would you? IMO, her overdose was accidental or certainly made to look that way. As you said, she was a nurse and would have known a much more 'effective' way (sorry ) to end her life, than a double dose of Mogadon (SP?).
I know there are times when you could just stop it. Just put an end to the fight, an end to the pain YOU feel....... I hope you never do and I hope that you lean on us and those in RL who can and will support you the more that you let them.
I'm not saying you'll do it all today, or tomorrow but I bet when you read back to your very first posts in a few more weeks or a month or two, you'll wonder who it is you're reading about. I did. It shocked me.
You have our full and unconditional support, you know that don;t you? All the Babes here do. I'm so very sorry your mum left you at such a young age. I'd hate to think of what you went through when that happened, and I guess you still do at times. xxxx
Look at the you today though, you can't change what's happened but you CAN control what happens from here on in. You are worth the life you have, you just need to value it and yourself much, much more. Take good care xx
Soma - well done for getting to a meeting. That must have been so fricking hard, and hearing those words come from your DD's mouth. Your heart must be utterly breaking........ I'm so sorry. BUT you did something about it. You have to stop now. You have to stop now and stay stopped before any more damage is done and you know that. You've pretty much said so yourself. I think that you're putting yourself in her shoes.
Be brave Babe, stay and post. Let it out, the fear, the wobbles, the lot. LET IT OUT xx
Help - I'm glad you found a source to help you stop and stay stopped, I really am. Life is so much easier without the fugg of booze changing the view you see, the thoughts you think, the words you speak and hear.
Babes - please be gentle with yourselves, you get one chance at this; life. One. You maybe get one shot to be who you want to be, one shot to get where you want to get. BUT, those shots are sometimes short bursts that build into one big one and that happy ending you are hoping for. It's all in your control, all of it.
Some are long, winding journeys to get to where you want to be. Some are pieces that are gradually put together..... but the fact remains that you really only have one life and it's a precious one at that.
mouse so sorry that you've had so much too cope with in your life. You sound like one amazing, brave, strong woman who has turned her life around for the better. I get what you mean that you can leave the older one to get on with it. Even when my dd was a little girl I could drink & let her get on with it as she was such a good little girl & when hungover I could put movies on for her & give her plates of food then go back to bed (what a lovely mummy) But my ds is a different kettle of fish, he needs me, craves me, wants me & if I'm hungover it's not a pleasant day for either of us. Do you still drink sometimes or are you completely sober? Well done for whatever way you manage. kotinka hope that your managing, sounds like things really stressful & difficult. Sounds bliss next year to just have Christmas whichever way would suit you
Re AA - I've never been nor wanted to go. Not even at the start. I dreaded the idea so much. Hated the thought of sharing face to face....... and the supposed religious side of it well, forget it, not my thing at all so Koti, I understand your points.
I have to say that my mindset has now changed. Not for me as such, but for others. The success stories on here thanks to AA have been great, life changing, amazing. Heart warming but also heart wrenching too.
Reading the emotion in the posts from those who have been, let everything out, unravelled years of pain, shame, hiding from themselves, what they have done to others to through drinking......
But I know I couldn't sit and share, or look anyone in the eye. However, I could probably now go to a meeting and just listen, not believe in the religious side, but maybe turn it around into my own version of a faith as such?
I can tell you all, here, who know me more than any room of strange alcoholics, absolutely everything about me and not bat an eyelid..... but until now, I couldn't do it in RL as such, in a meeting I mean.
Why?
Maybe because I can see past the religious stuff and see the faith in the people? The support? Does that make sense? I used to take Nemo to praise and play and say a prayer at the end of every session. He says at prayer at his C of E preschool. His favourite story is Noah and the Ark.....
I loved going to church as a child and listening to bible stories.... and yet I don't believe in God. Karma? yep, and boy, when I get my hands on him!
I believe in something, I guess I believe in human nature, support and kindness, the love others can give to make life seem okay for a while..... there's something isn't there? Something that we all have out there that makes us wonder 'why me?' or the like?
Clutter - I do drink, yes. But the difference is that I drink on my terms now. Does that make sense? I drink when I want to but I plan it. So, like tonight with it being our night (Saturday is like our date night ), we'll have a nice dinner, and maybe have a glass of wine (DH will have the wine, I'll have a cider or glass of cava or ready made can of G&T so no home measures) with the meal.
I'm not interested in getting shit faced. I hate how I feel the next day, plus, I am on so much morphine, ibuprofen, tylex and diazepam, that I can't and shouldn't drink really. If I do have more than the odd glass or two, you'll find me passed out.
Like others have said, I used to take that extra anti depressant, morphine pill or whatever to get an additional boost to the boozing. Not anymore. Not because I'm 'cured' but because I've finally realised that I don't like it. Or who I am when I drink too much, and by too much, I mean more than a glass or two. I like to be in control of what I do.
My past life, being out of control, not knowing where I am, who I'm with (years we're talking) has scared the shit out of me quite frankly.... I have more responsibilities. Have have people who need me and count on ME. I like that
I'm aggressive or giggly but there's no guarantee which version of me will appear. It's just not worth it. xx
Right, time for clothing and make up, don't want to scare the shoppers so best get myself together!
So CBA to go out in the rain and wind. BLOODY WEATHER!!!! I want cold and crisp, not wet and windy.
Be back later to talk some more about me
Stay Brave Babes xxxx
Where you are now with your drinking mouse is where I want to be and where you have been is definitely places I have been in the past and not so distant! I'm not feeling so bad that me & little ds not long bathed & dressed. Happy shopping
Well done clutter am that your starting weight is below my target though!
Wonder who else is going to take the challenge?
oh God I did not sign up for healthy eating/dieting/losing weight! but the last few months I've been eating too much rubbish to reward myself for not drinking, so perhaps I need to join in...
I don't have any scales, and can't be bothered getting out the wii fit but I am going to make an effort. cutting out snacks and taking the stairs. after all what's the point in being sober if I'm too fat to enjoy it...
mouse thanks for another thoughtful and inspiring post. I hope your DD is feeling better, and you all have a lovely New year
But MA our BMI 's are almost the same so I'm a wee short (fat) ass! Hopefully not by June 30th tho!
Evening, tis me, Mouse
I'm going to post my weight and then run (hobble in pain) off.
5ft 6inches
9st 10lbs
BMI = 21.9 which is normal.
Goal for 2013 - get some real help with my pain, maintain current weight and love myself enough to value ME. All of me, the good, the bad and the ugly. Survive what life throws my way, ODAAT and keep this Bus going. Because as much as you need me to keep posting new threads, I need the thread to be here for me too.
Let's do this Babes, whatever you goal may be, let's do it together. xx
Healthy snacks = anything that is slow release carbs, low fat, high fibre, low sugar, natural sugar so fruit not cake, low salt (lots of fat free stuff has high salt and sugar so watch those labels) and keep it varied. High protein = less rumbley tummy etc.....
Nibbles in this house are stuff like carrot sticks already in the fridge, chunks of cheddar too, already cubed into small cubes and restricted, you can go onto the web and find shit loads of ideas, especially now.
Everyone has a diet plan they want to sell you, an exercise dvd that works.... most of the info is free, try the NHS website for a start
It's common sense really. Little and often if you are prone to pigging out, smaller plates to make your food look more, equal quantities of lean meats (no Ma, not that kind ), dairy, etc.....
But the key for me has always been WATER! It flushes you out. And a good vitamin B complex supplement. Not cheap but it will help restore and repair all parts of your body that alcohol has damaged. That and Milk Thistle. And let's face it, if you were willing to buy the wine, but the healing stuff in it's place?!
venus is the lady for supplements and info like that.....
I need to go but will have a good think about foods, snacks and how I got back from well over 11 stone (in Jan/Feb this year) to where I am now and post about it.
Try Food Focus, it's free, takes a bit of effort logging your foods but once they're in, you can breeze through your day. It even counts housework as exercise! Who knew??
www.foodfocus.co.uk
Be Brave Babes and start as you mean to go on. Life is worth living, if you give it a chance through sober eyes and with a clear picture of what you want.
Mouse xx
Don't worry Ma, 1st Jan is only the day after tomorrow. Faire will try the bowl of water, thanks. Think he might have tics actually and he has red patches from the irritation so taking him to the vet tomorrow. Pissed off that I spend a fortune on Frontline and it doesn't work.
It's really good to hear from you Hating, your relationship with booze is so similar to my own. I know about feeling lonely too as I'm divorced and DD is out a lot but I've tried to find a way of socialising that doesn't involve booze. OK maybe it's only meeting a friend for a coffee once a fortnight but it's better than getting plastered in the pub. I did find however that it was only when I admitted that I was an alcoholic that I could really start doing something about it but that's only me. And for me alcoholism means I'm often compelled to drink and can't always stop drinking once I've started (although I can sometimes). It's as simple as that. I don't have a problem saying I'm an alcoholic anymore, in a way it's a relief.
Anyway, please stick around, we're all different and are all trying to achieve sobriety/controlled drinking in various ways. And of course there are the inspirational babes who are always here to help those who are trying to get to where they are. I hope you know who you are
Thanks so much Purple. My kids are with their dad a lot more than every other weekend. I'm really struggling with accepting being a part time parent - permanently.
I drink at home mostly too. I actually fear going out because I know how it will end - me drunk, and terrible suicidal hangover and memory blanks the next day. I even feel drained with 'mild' hangovers.
I have hidden empty wine bottles in the kitchen cupboards so I can dispose of them discreetly later and jumped out of bed in the morning to remove an empty bottle and a wine-stained glass from the sitting room before the dc see it.
Do you drink when you have your kids or only when they are away?
I've always had a problem with drink. My dad has stopped drinking now (high blood pressure) but is an alcoholic. He didn't go to the pub but sat and pickled himself every night (strong cider and later,red wine). My mum hated it. He'd fall asleep in his chair and crawl up to bed in the small hours every night
help you're not the first person to make that observation on this thread and, of course, it makes complete sense to you because that's where you are at the moment. But there are lots of others who feel differently and are having different experiences.
Yes, we all have a lot in common and can understand each other and the difficulties we face but we are also all so very different and what works for one, understandably might not work for another.
We take all the approaches and usually agree that one is not necessarily better than another. For some of us we just need to get through the day and, in that case, bubble baths and chit chat are absolute life savers.
Btw, you do know at least one person that's gone from problem to controlled because that's me. In the past I have mentioned that perhaps my time on the bus has run its course because I don't think I need it for my own sobriety anymore. I tend to hang out here because I enjoy the company and the continuing support
Hi hatingbooze welcome to the bus
It took me a long time and a few false starts but I just slowly changed my drinking habits by following all the fab advice on this thread. I don't think I am/was addicted to booze but I had started to drink too much too often and it had crept up to an amount I wasn't happy with.
I started cutting back and used all the new strategies I was learning here to avoid that first drink. After a while, I began to make new habits and it wasn't as hard as I thought it was going to be.
At first I couldn't stop. I was compelled to buy wine and drink it. I thought I was addicted and that I would always be like that. After a few sober days the fog started to lift and I realised how much better life without being drunk and/or hungover was.
But I don't have any other issues to deal with. For me, I think it was just habit and now I've broken it and am in control. Who knows, maybe that will prove to be wrong and I might one day have to stop drinking altogether. All I know is that, if that happens, fine. The idea doesn't scare me anymore.
welcome booze - you will find more here than bubble baths and chatting 
You will find tips and techniques, sharing of experiences, honesty, laughter, friendship, support, support and more support. And you WILL begin to deal with your relationship with alcohol. It might be a quick turnaround, it maight take years - and I speak as someone who has been riding this here bus and sidecar for about two years, but who is about to attempt dry January in two days time because now I feel ready to do it.
You will meet truly inspirational women who will enrich your life in a myriad of ways and nobody, but nobody, wears judgy pants. I think purple is wearing big girls pants at the moment though.
REad the earlier threads inspired by the fabulous jesus, meet our resident wise woman venus (are you ok btw?), be nurtured by the truly wonderful mouse, ride the roofrack with faire, avoid sex with me and thurso (OMG that just sounded so WRONG!) and seek out the elusive indie who WE HAVEN'T HEARD FROM IN AGES.
Oh and there are so many more babes I havent name checked - soba silver Obrigada green alias (she has fleas) kotinka koala (now there's a woman who took on a challenge!)
Come and join these fabulous Babes and you will find so much more than chat!
Your way or the highway is it again help?
I feel this a bit too, tbh. If it upsets you when people don't take your advice, why give it? It's the nature of people not to take advice, unfortunately! If this thread is upsetting you or affecting your life negatively in any way, then you sound like a very strong and determined person... step away and nuture the things that are vital to you.
Soma my first thought was allergies, and that maybe flea/tick bites have set up a cycle of irritation? Were they identifiably fleas in the water? We use Advocate rather than frontline, because it protects against the awful lungworm.
Ma I am joining your January bootcamp. I don't usually make NY's resolutions but this year I'm going to make some changes. I'm going to namechange again, figure out my game plan and post my weight etc.
I know that there are only a few people on the thread that remember me/recognise me from when I was posting a lot back in the spring. I over shared a lot of personal (and sometimes traumatic) stuff, and then got a bit concerned about being so identifiable, after someone I knew in a professional capacity mentioned that they use MN. Anyway I've always been lurking and posting occasionally ever since, and I'm going to climb back on for a while. I've noticed lately how bloated and tired I look. My drinking has crept up again, especially over xmas, obviously. I accepted that I'd be a size 14 instead of 12, but now my 14 trousers are getting tight! At 4pm on boxing day, when DD was driving me nuts, I said, within her earshot "god I need a drink!". It's not the message I want her to absorb.
So, I'm in the sidecar as usual for the next few days, but then I'll be cutting down drastically (sorry help! ) for the next few months.
Back later Babes. <<dons new guise>>
Welcome hatingbooze I'm also pretty new to the bus. Jumped aboard in september after an all day wedding drinking wine which resulted in me trying to jump out of moving car on motorway being driven by 8 month pregnant wife of dh's work colleague because I wanted a cigarette!! Gave me big shock. This bus has provided me with support, coping strategies, togetherness. I don't feel an alcoholic but do feel when I drink I have a problem. Over the last 3 months this bus as well as counselling has helped me to manage my drinking. Maybe in the future if things get worse I may feel that the only option is complete sobriety but for the moment the support from the babes has helped me manage. Thank you amazing babes.
hehe purple
Hatingbooze - no, but it sounds interesting. You trying to loose weight too?
Personally, I'll be back on atkins once new year's eve's done. H is taking me out for my fave, pizza. (Ma, promise I'll be good after)
Sorry alias its soba who has fleas
Welcome to boot camp gold
We are SO going to get healthy and fit this year.
But don't worry - the boot camp will always be secondary to the alcohol battles, it's just a bit extra, not to sidetrack the bus or anything.
[humphs at ma ]
Hating - if it worked for you, go for it! I know what you mean about fitting it in with the family though, atkins is a bit like that too.
The whole social drinking thing - yes, that was my big worry too, but once you start doing it you soon find the confidence to be your normal looney self without the aid of booze. Just takes a bit of getting used to.
Now my main problem is hitting the booze at the first sign of trouble. That, I'm still working on.
Afternoon, tis me, Mouse
Okay, I'm going to put my two penneth worth on here then go for a shower. This post is directed at Help.
Help - You said Bubble baths and mutual support and great, maybe it's all some of you need. Controlled drinking rarely works, I can't think of anyone who's gone from problem to controlled drinking
You also said - stop chatting and stop drinking, which I found a little disrespectful to those who have bared their souls and cried out for help, just to get it all out, just to ask for reasons from others here to stop themselves from picking up that first drink......
Reasurance. Kindness of strangers. A hug through the ether can make a huge difference if you can't get to an AA meeting, get to see a GP, get to a friend's house. Or even if you don't want to face the reality of what your life has become, not in person anyway. Not just yet. No-one knows who you are here, you can be yourself and not be punished or judged. It's always been that way and has to remain that way otherwise we'd never have new Babes wanting support would we?
For me, chatting about what makes me want to drink is a HUGE part of the reason that just for today, just for right now, I AM a controlled drinker. I think you need to accept that not everyone is going to want to go to AA. Not everyone is going to switch to Elderflower cordial, or a N&T (Nothing and Tonic for those who don't know Jesus's fave tipple ), we're all so very different, even though we all have abusive relationships with alcohol.
I understand your frustration Help, but saying that you don't care if you upset people just to get them to sit up and listen is rather counter productive in my eyes. You've been so supportive in the past, and it's wonderful that AA has worked and remains to work for YOU.
This is a support thread, it always has been, no matter what your own circumstances or views. No matter how much you do or don't drink, or where you get RL help from or not, you're always welcome here.
That's the point..... everyone has a right to post here and talk about themselves, why they drink, what help they've tried and why, if the case is so, they don't want to go to AA/GP etc.
Some people have been to AA, some have tried it and just didn't like it. Some have tried medication and that's failed too. Some cold turkey, some just sheer 'fuck it, that's enough'
I think you need to let people get on with it. Just as you would anyone else..... you stand far enough back to let someone carve their way through their life, but stay close enough to catch them should they fall.
(((((( ))))))) purplewolf hope you got target mark of t-shirt
<realises that Purple and Koti are bloomin' bonkers >
Now then. A HUGE welcome to Hating, hello! Good to have you back on board the Bus I've read your posts nodding and thinking that I can relate to lots of what you say.
Nemo is being his usual ratty, not well so 'I'm going to shout and hit you mummy' self. DH is here so supporting me, I'm bad cop
Koala - Two weeks sober? Really? That has flown past . I love this bit you posted I'll keep posting MY experiences - because it helps me to remember and reaffirm my commitment and who knows it may help someone else in the future who finds this thread and keeps reading
Beef casserole in the oven, home made bread by DH, and a lovely Christmas pudding for afters
Tonight, DH and I are writing down all of the shit we have faced this last year, all of the things that have hurt us, people who we thought we friends who have actually turned out not to be for one reason or another, the financial worries, builders who fucked us over, hospitals who let us down, Nemo being ill all the time, DD being bullied, my own pain, DH working so hard, trying to keep the roof over our heads, life in general.
All of the bad stuff is going in the box and the box is being set alight. With a glass of Cava (left over from the other night) to toast the NY as we won't be here tomorrow to do it. The box will go up in flames, for good, forever. Goodbye box.
I think I'm ready to let go of so many demons, and a hell of a lot of that is down to the support if this thread. Your posts, all of your posts. Your experiences, wherever they come from.
It all helps, the words on this screen in front of me help me get through each and every day, knowing I'm not the only person with alcohol issues.
Faire - so you're a controlled drinker too, just like me!
Off to run a bath for fish boy (just for you that one Ma ) but will try to come back later to see how you all are.
Stay safe Brave Babes xx
What a nice idea mouse and wishing you a much better 2013. My dd was getting bullied at school at end of last year & fake facebook pages made in her name. The whole experience was just awful, Hope situation improves for your dd.
ggoodness ma you sound so determined and positive! am liking it
I can't join in as I'm on the Christmas sherry, really wish it wasn't here, but think it would be too wasteful to throw away the whole bottle
Thanks for the welcome Mouse.
Love your box idea. Not sure I could find a big enough box for my 2012 horrors. A skip might be more in order
Ma - the box is FULL! I just had to do it, we've been through so much this year. I know that there are people out there with so much more pain, so much more worry, so much more to deal with....... A fresh start is just what the doctor ordered.
You can get cardboard coffins can't you? I was thinking for your DH?
I can't go through my wardrobe like that, my clothes are too big.......<ducks> but I can get rid of past shit..... so anything at all connected to my XP. I have a few things, jewellery that I found, notes tucked in books I've not read in years... they are going to the charity shops.
My goal is to eat well, more in fact. I actually ate all of my beef casserole tonight where normally, it would've gone in the bin after cooking it. Even DD had some!
Joey - well done you!!! Great start, no matter how big or small, it's a start. And why not now? Go you xx
Right, box burning time. xx
Good grief! Have just seen the anti-smoking ad with the tumour growing in the cigarette. It's horrible! Feel a bit queasy now. So glad I never took smoking up.
Hope - that has made me rofl!! Santa D&D! Can you imagine the press?
"In shocking news, it was discovered last night that Santa is in fact a drinker! For years it was thought he just made the brandy, whiskey, baileys etc just magically vanish and he only ever drank the milk.... not so!"
"Children all over the world are in pieces after learning that Santa is in fact human and occasionally needs a drink after dealing with millions of elves, passport control, a huge clean up operation with all of the discarded gift wrap....."
"Our reporter at the North Pole tells us that Santa is in fact in hiding after getting pulled over for drink driving, unsure of his future......"
Joking aside, we are Santa, we are that important to our DCs and we must keep their safety at the forefront of our minds. We have to take this seriously, we have to protect them from our demons and our undoing when we can. xx
Pissing myself laughing at kot pinning a note on the wardrobe and at * mouse's* cardboard coffin.
Well, tomorrow is the last day....feel excited and apprehensive. Babes I am really going to need your support if I am going to do this. I find it almost impossible to have an AF day let alone a month!
Did anyone read the article in the Mail today about middle aged women and drinking.... apparently some are drinking more than 8 or 9 units a week!. Tomorrow, for my third and final pre-boot camp challenge, I will post my weekly units. <gulp>
@ Mouse! xx
Ok I've missed the last few days... who am I am sexing it up with Ma, Kot
All quiet on the southern front here, for once, nearly bed time (with Dh :0)
xxx
Have peaceful nights babes xxxxxxxxx
Good luck babes with all that your hoping for today, tonight, new year! I have 5 pairs of trousers that no longer do up so am left with only one pair for work that fits. Have them as my goal. I'm going to a Hogmany party tonight that I've been roped into & not really wanting to go. Got a new years day dinner at my parents tomorrow and really want to go to that so going to try really hard not to overdo it tonight. Definitely no wine & I'm going to pre-book taxi so not lots of waiting about where it's so easy to have that next drink. Good luck babes for tonight
Good morning babes! I have been lurking and reading when I can, haven't been able to post for last couple of days - As always I am inspired and humbled to read all your posts. Thread has moved on too much for me to comment personally to you all right now but have some stuff to say I'll hopefully be able to come back later.
Update on burning fanjo hell (sorry new babes!) it's getting better, saw doc today swab results are back, it's a strep skin infection not STI - thank God - huge sense of relief and I am no longer sitting in a darkened room with my pants down crying
In-laws have gone now so that's Christmas finally over, just New Year to get through now - I'm so tired and we actually have a baby sitter tonight for the first time in years so are going to the pub. Will drink but hope not to overdo it then Ma I'm with you - I'll post my stats later when I build up the courage to get on the scales! Love to all - Keep on keeping on and best of luck in keeping to your aims this evening xx
Oh and help I'm sorry to see you go, I like your advice and tough talking but understand if this space isn't good for you anymore, thank you for your help in the past and best wishes x
at mouse. and what makes you think I want him back on Feb 1st?
koala you are one brave bear, lady, and will be inspiring me when I wobble
clutter well done on the trouser count - looks like you and me are going to have whole new wardrobes later in the year.
Okay weekly units for me have been, on average, 45 ish.
Right, I'm feeling like crap today but trying to recapture the determination and optimism I felt yesterday about making some positive changes for 2013.
Please Ma may I join your bootcamp?
I'm 5'8 (almost) and I just weighed in at 12st 7lbs. That's the heaviest I've ever been, by quite a bit. I cringe when I see photos of myself - dull skin, bloated face, lines settling in, double chin. I'm not even 40 (that joy is to come this year) yet, and I look like a middle aged lush. I decided to embrace my curves a couple of months ago and wear size 14 (I still go in and out at the right places, at least), but I'm just getting bigger, heavier and unhealthier by the month.
I cut down my drinking a lot earlier in the year but it's crept back up again over the months. I don't want to abstain entirely, never have, but I'm drinking too much again and I need to cut back.
So, my plan for January and February is no white wine at all (bar one occasion when I intend to have some bubbly), and red wine in moderation at weekends only. So no wine at all Mon-Thurs. I'm starting that on Jan 2nd. Plan for food is to be low GI and some low-carb. I need to do the exercises the physio gave me for my back, as I've been getting lax about that again. The extra weight doesn't help my back either. Lots of walking the dog, some light weights on the exercise ball to tone up.
Motivation is a trip to Italy in March for which we desperately need to save some money, and being able to feel a bit better about myself in the land of beautiful people!
<<settles back into sidecar, eyes roof rack hopefully>>
kotinka that is a good idea, would that work? it might also inspire me to actually cook properly
Morning, tis me, Mouse
Mia - great name change! And yay for another Boot Campee That sounds a bit erm, camp doesn't it? 'Campee?'
Help - have you left the Bus? I'm sorry to see you go if that's the case, I too have held your advice in high regard. A difference of opinion is always going to happen between a group of people all sharing the same space. I'm sad to think that has made you or any Babe leave this Bus.
Greeny - glad your lady front garden is much better! You must be very relieved that it's not an STI. Are you going to tell DH about it now and how you felt? You worries? xx
Ma - tell me when you want him back, I have a need for a slave to scrub this house cleaner, I can't do it because of my back and hips. In return, I'll let him live. Fair deal?
Koala - I like your posts, very positive and strong! Great to see
Joey - planning is the key for me, I hope it works for you too xx
Right, I'm off to pack. We're off to our usual NY celebrations with friends. I love NY with them, a bit of Jules Holland and fizz, then bed at 12.01am.
I'll check in again later. Good luck today Babes, you can do it! xx
PS - Obrigada, Silver, IsinDe, MsGee, SAF and all other MIA Babes, please just pop in to say hi if you get chance
NYNM love the new name (you were Golden right?). You don't look remotely like a middle-aged lush, that's my department I think it's a great idea to embrace one's curves, I try to do the same but definitely know that if a windfall of a few grand came my way, the absolutely first thing I'd spend it on is a breast reduction. Joey how could anyone think it was you who had fleas? I just took Alfie to the vet and they reckon it's an allergic skin condition and have prescribed medication (and charged me nearly £90 for the privilege). Thank God I've got insurance.
On day 4 and struggling a bit but need to keep coming back to the fact that I can't drink. Think this is making me feel a bit lonely and sad because I've always used alcohol as a crutch. One of the biggest issues I have is coming to terms with never having been in a lasting, loving relationship. I thought I'd sorted this in my head but it's obvious I haven't; am dreaming every night about exes and new relationships. It's all a bit sad at my age isn't it? Think I need to branch out too and make some new friends/develop interests. Hoping I can finally lay it to rest, without the aid of alcohol, in 2013. Sorry for the me-me post, hope everyone's doing something nice tonight and catch you later xx
hmmm apparently you can't really freeze sherry, the alcohol content is too high. Quote>> The higher the alcohol content that more difficult to freeze.
Plus there's no real reason to freeze sherry. It lasts for a very long time in the bottle stored in a cool place. >> clearly not an alcoholic who wrote that. 'No real reason' !! obviously written by a smug sober person 
soma what medication did the vet prescribe? is there any particular part of his body that he is chewing or scratching? Did they scrape for mange?
Hi babes - well, I'm reading through this thread but just thought I'd say "HI!".
Drinking still over Xmas but didn't get pissed. Have actually found a wine so disgusting that even I had to chuck it - Three Mills English Red Wine. It is vile stuff.
Somebody gave me a bottle of fortified red wine with chocolate essence - icky! Haven't opened the bottle and don't plan to either.
Bought some champagne for Christmas Day. It was a nice treat and I shared it with dh who doesn't normally drink.
Hoping everyone is ok, sounds like some of you are having a hard time at the moment
Hi mia welcome to Boot Camp. You are almost identical to me in height and weight but I am a flubbery 16 rather than a curvy 14.
I went for a walk today in the pissing rain and came back energised, then made the mistake of measuring the bit where my waist used to be. OMFG1!
Of all the pre-bootcamp tests and stats, that one made me cry a little bit. It now seems such a big job...however, that's 4 walks this week and I am due on so might be a little bloated <hopeful emoticon>
DD2 has gone to Glasgow to sing tonight on the BBC Hogmanay show. well, with a choir, not alone, but still! She got a real kick out of saying "Just off to the Beeb for rehearsals for the show tonight!" So did I...stealth boast or what?
horse if you are out there, dust those pompoms off. We need you for Dry January.
hello lovely babes
Blimey this bus shifts fast! Fleas,bootcamp,sore bits,freezing booze,burning boxes...
I love the new year- a lovely, shiny new beginning. I tried to persuade DH to do the box burning ritual, what a fab idea, but no joy there. mouse I think I may have to steal your idea.
Right, well I'm fat, fat ,fat. I need to stop drinking and stop eating all that chocolate. I'm going to start jogging again and when I have a proper job I will join the gym again.
I'm 5 foot and '3/4 inches'. The 3/4 is vital, otherwise I would be short. ahem.
I'm 9 stone something (no scales, will buy some soon)
By june I will be 8 1/2 stone.
All of my trousers are tight and my best pair need to be packed away until I lose some weight, can't afford new clothes now.
I'd like to lose more than half a stone but at least that would be a good start. I need to stop drinking first, and this time I need to stop, not cut down. This is the least boozy crimbo I've had for years but I'm still drinking. Enough now.
Big wave to new babes and best wishes- you're in a very safe place here.
Happy New Year for later Brave Babes. Hugh Jackman is on tv. That is all. x x x x
Mouse - Tart!!! 
xx
Well done Ma That's brilliant xx Keep going! Xx
mouse loved Hugh jackman but had to turn over after John bishop started... what is there on at New year suitable for children to watch?
Pinch, punch, first of the month!
Happy New Year babes and may it be one full of good health and goals achieved, be they large or small
Help good to see you will be lurking and popping in. I have an image in my head of the Land of Sobriety. It's a bit like Babeland actually, where all is calm and fresh. I have an image of drinking as a Land of Fog, a desolate wasteland full of fear, anxiety, manic happiness followed by depression, paranoia and regret.
In Land of Sobriety decisions are clear and easily made. Problems are faced head on with support. Each day is met with energy and enthusiasm. It's a clean, healthy, active land where busy people go about their business with a spring in their step (or a boing - but I couldn't call it BoingLand really could I )
In Land of Fog parts of the ground are knee deep in mud and wading through it is a daily struggle. There is relief but it comes at a price, the highest price possible, pride and self esteem. Most days are the same old drudgery of broken promises, false hope, crushing despair.
Now, these two lands are separated by a mountain and the only path between them is narrow mountain path next to a deep gully. It's a short path, but seeped in mist which only occasionally allows brief glimpses of life on the other side of the rock.
Sometimes the people in the Land of Fog will hear the cheerful early morning chatter and be curious as to why the people in the Land of Sobriety were not suffering like they were. Peeping around the giant rock all they can see is the path.
On the other side, they call and beckon. Come on over here, it's lovely. Everything is so much simpler. You don't have to wade through mud. We have much better health, we have more money to spend how we like, we don't hate ourselves anymore. Don't be afraid, we're right here, just around the corner.
But the people in the Land of Fog can't see past the mist. Now and again, an intrepid traveller will brave the journey. Buoyed up and cheered on by friends, the brave fellow makes those few first steps. Closer and closer into the mist, away from the fog, towards the Land of Sobriety.
Some do make it and they never come back. They call to their friends reassuringly. It's true, it's true, it's all true. All you have to do is leave the mud and fog behind. Everything you want is right here. It's a paradise. It's wonderful, there is nothing to fear. Once you have made it you will never even want to go back!
< and readjusts normality >
Well, that's my view and I can see you Help (or maybe just hear you) over there in that wonderful place, calling the rest of us x
Right, I've waffled on enough now, will be back later.
Ma I hope your dd had the most fabulous night. Shame about the party but hopefully this will just be the first. Where did she stay in the end?
Love to all, back later x
Morning all
Happy New Year
I have had my third hangover free Christmas morning and New Years day,
and wanted to say a heartfelt thank you to everyone,because if I hadn't have joined this thread two and a bit years ago, I very much doubt that I would be saying that.
I haven't been totally abstemious during that time, by any means, but if I ever have reached for the bottle, even then, it has been in a different way than before, and not easy, because I hate myself before and afterwards, instead of just afterwards!!!! So much easier not to do it at all, although I don't always remember.
I haven't been posting much in the last six weeks or so, bit of a family problem, not my story to tell, but it has meant that I've been away most weekends. But, I read the thread the whenever I can, and it has really helped to remember where I want to be, and how I want to be.
Help bless you, you have found what works for you, and I totally understand that you want to share your experience, and show others how things can be. For me, the chattiness of the thread is a real, working tool, I know that I can be more honest on here, than maybe anywhere else, ever. I think that posting on here when we've slipped up, is not so much a post expecting others to read or comment or even help immediatly, it's a post to ourselves to remind us that we really don't want to be like this (that'll just be me, then ).
Anyway, I love you to pieces you Babies,
xxxxxxx
Ps Where are you Isinde my blossom!
Great post faire
<shoulders backpack and heads off into the mist>
Thurso good to hear from you. Wassup? PM me dear thing..
soba that does NOT sound like a bootcamp breakfast!!! Taps foot ...
I cooked banana pancakes with bacon and syrup for DS, then glumly chewed my way through a bowl of cardboard and string aka shredded wheat, sprinkled with bran for extra yumminess. this was followed by a calcium and zinc supplement and a flaxseed capsule.
On the road shortly to collect DDs from various dosshouses...
Ha, good luck ma and babyjane and anyone else on that journey today. Glad you didn't all think I'm curley wurley cuckoo for sharing what it's like in my head some days
Not going to talk about what I'm eating today - still got some xmas goodies (baddies? 
) to eat up so today I'm a bin . Tomorrow I will have more self respect and get on the Happy Health Drive with the rest of you.
< starts to think about what to pack in bag. Booze and crisps will only weigh me down >
Thurso great to hear from you!! Sorry you've had a difficult few weeks x
Good afternoon. I am returning - was here under a different name a while back and, whilst sort of being able to control my drinking, have actually realised I can't really I want to be free of it. I really do. I made a supreme effort to drink loads last night - just to feel shit this morning and remember why I need to stop (does that sound ridiculous???) Had bronchitis all over xmas but still managed to drink on several occasions ands missed it when I couldn't. Bloody idiot! I'm ready now I think. Haven't smoked for three months (this time...) am pretty fit generall, so ...need to complete the circle! Hello
welcome eastholly
Do you all like my name change?
Oooh ma that's a fab name, I'm going to have a think about maybe changing mine too. Hot damn, you're motivating everyone at the moment - go girl
< waves pom poms >
Welcome back Holly did I 'know' you under your old guise?
Green those awful hangovers were probably the biggest motivation for me. I hated them so much and am so relieved that I never, ever have to do that to myself again. Have a (((hug))) and some paracetamol x
Lovely to hear from you Sarah
I can't remember who I was to be honest Anyway, I need to do this. I get so stupid when i drink - and just can't stop. One of those idiots who can 'not drink' but can't not drink when I've started. I know you'll get that!
I want to be sober and well without the work . Snot fair!! Actually, I am looking forward it - I remember how well i felt last time and with (hopefully) having finally conquered the cigarettes, I have nothing to lose. My vital stats are: 5 ft 6, weigh 9 st 10 BMi 21.6 (according to gym scales!) don't want to lose vast amounts, but I do want to get rid of my cider tummy
Hello Babes 
I used to post on this thread a while back but haven't in a long while now for various reasons. I thought I'd pop in seeing as how it's NY and there may be a few newbies lurking and posting (hi Greeneyed). I'm pretty sure that there are many more people reading this thread than are posting on it.
I spent 18 months going to AA. It didn't work for me and it didn't keep me sober but I learned a huge amount from it which I can continue to use in my daily life and it certainly wasn't a waste of time. I think if anyone is thinking of it then there's absolutely no harm in giving it a go, it works for hundreds of thousands of people worldwide, but go with an open mind and be wary, use the same kinds of personal safety caveats as you would with any other area of your life - that's just common sense but I saw several newcomers fall foul of being too trusting and giving too much of themselves. I'm really not wanting to put anyone off going because whatever works, works!
I'm doing SMART now. It suits me better, it makes sense to me in a way that AA didn't and doesn't sit at odds with my somewhat scientific and atheistic way of thinking.
Hmmm, why am I posting? I think there is a lot of talk online whenever someone posts about struggling with alcohol that they should go to AA. Often for someone initially coming to terms with the fact they have a problem with alcohol they feel that AA is the only solution, I just wanted to put it out there that it isn't the only solution and that there are alternatives.
Happy New Year and good luck to you all x
Hi 2013 - I did AA for a while too - it sort of worked for me but then I felt 'smothered' and the cultish elements ( to my mind anyway - I know lots of people don't see it that way) crept in and I was being told all sorts of thing which made me very uncomfortable..I wish we had SMART groups in this country as I think they are really good. However, when I did my year I did it all alone with no outside help. Hoping I can do that this time - and I would love to stay with all you lot too
<Sifts uncomfortably in her seat in the side car>
Well, not yet found the gumption to bag a seat on the Bus still. Not doing as badly as before though. Didn't go out last night (but did have a lot some Cava at home - by myself ) so don't have to sit here wondering how much of a tit I made of myself last night - and awaiting the comments. I often think that The Other People (those for whom drinking is not a problem) laugh off comments such as "You were soooo drunk last night", "Don't you remember doing .........?", "How's your head this morning?!" and the ever awful "Yes, I know, you told me last night! Don't you remember!?" etc whereas I feel very very defensive and angry at them because I feel so guilty about my behaviour.
Am looking forward to the children getting back to school so as there is routine back in my life and I can get back to the gym. That's my realistic goal - anything I can do in the meantime is going to be a bonus.
Unfortunately, I think the Tasty Farmer is just not that into me . He has been in touch everyday over the festivities but...... He's had 'flu over Christmas (and his family over) so I understand him not being able to see me on the couple of days I had free but yesterday I made a light suggestion at meeting up for a drink tonight. He got back to me with "I'm not sure what I'll be doing until the morning"! Hmmmm. I'm not anyone's back up plan! 
- plus I haven't heard from him at all today. Even if he does get in touch now I think I will have a fictitious party to go too. Shame really. .
Sorry to hear about all the Babes who are struggling and a big cheer for those who've managed to moderate. Hugs all round! xxxxxx
Sifts!!?? Shifts*! (Unless I was making cakes in the side-car, that its!! )
Greeneyed - hope tomorrow is a better day. That remorse/paranoia is just dreadful - been there too many times.
Purple - sounds like the farmer's blowing hot and cold. Do you think he has someone else and that's why he's so unreliable?
I had good night last night - drank but didn't get pissed.
I had a bad alcoholic moment last week. I was embarrassed about the number of empty bottles in my recycling box. I didn't want dh to take them to the bottle bank because I knew he would be shocked at how many there were. So, whilst he was out, I snuck out and dumped them all in a bin down the street. When he returned, I lied (very unconvincingly) that a friend had taken them to the bottle bank for me. Unfortunately for me, dh found them. He didn't really say anything, but I could tell he was disappointed.
Oh, the shame this addiction brings us
<dead chuffed at being saved a seat next to Gorgeous Green! xxx>
I looked at SMART too and thought it looked great but all the meeting places are too far away for me.
Don't think so Grey I'm wondering if he's not ready to get into a relationship yet? Who know?! Men! Can't live with 'em, not allowed to shoot 'em!
As for the shame thing Grey, yup, been there, done that. My worst time (soz to all who've been bored with this already!) was when ExP and I had to move house. I'd hidden bottle in places round the house and totally alcohol memory loss forgotten where I'd put them. ExP didn't say anything either - not sure if that's worse or better? xxxx
Thank you so much purple and Koti I can't even stomach cold water at the moment, currently sipping a cup of hot water - have just taken some vitamins and I am back in bed with a pan next to me - Shameful what kind of way is this for a woman of my age to behave. Wish I could grow up!
Sorry for self indulgent posts today just need to get this all out as it keeps happening.
Welcome Silver and well done for posting - You sound similar to me I don't seem to have a stop button when I'm out and past the first three drinks - likewise I think I have to stop going out or abstain because it's just not acceptable and I am worth more than this.
I'm not feeling very inspiring today fortunately there are lots of other inspiring babes here though
Joey sorry to hear about your troubled sleep again - have you got your meds sorted now?
I said to DH I was worried I had alcohol poisoning he said no I just have an enormous hangover from being a nob
welcome angel you will find loads of support and advice on the Bus. well done for making that first post!
green sorry, but your DH saying that made me laugh. hope you're feeling better soon. don't know if my meds are really sorted yet, I have cut the Prozac down to just twice a week, my mood is pretty stable, but I feel shattered and I wake up in the night with aching legs. perhaps it is because I've drunk quite a lot over Christmas.
welcome angel
is it ok if we call you angel rather than silver as we already have a silver on the bus and I foresee no end of confusion
green we've all been there. Next time you feel the wine witch calling, read back and it might help. or it might not...if only it were that easy.
Well, Day 1 of Dry January and it's getting to danger time - got to find something to occupy myself with for the next few hours.
koala well done that's fantastic- you are turning your life around
Holds hands with green and tries not to look at the clock. Healthy dinner eaten and cleared up. Had bath.what to do now...
koala what you have done is bloody awesome. Totes amaze balls!
You must feel like a different woman.
purple can you stop wiggling now please, I may need one of those bags...
green Too right. I know that I need some kind of recovery program now and lots and lots of help.
kotinka are you going to do the smart thing? please, please I'm going to have a good look when ds has gone to bed but I think I will sign up to the online meetings.
koala you are one awesome woman. You don't even whinge about it, you've just got on with it and quit. Wow! Have you found it difficult or straightforward?
Gugg Can't help it! Those big pants Mouse gave me are bloody itchy! Bag at the ready, just in case! x
Green You'll get back there Hun, maybe not today but soon. You've done it before and you can do it again. <wipes dribble off Green's shoulder suruptitiously!> x
E nerving, yids me, Mouse
Welcome to Angel and welcome back to any previous posters returning for NY.
Whoever it was with a BMI of 21.6, that's the same as me and I'm not looking to lose more, just maintain really.
Happy New Year's Day Babes
Faire fantastic post! Ready helped me to visualise how I feel about us all and this thread. Just amazing.
I spent 3 hours stuck in bed this morning because of my back. I'm in so much pain today, all because of the car journey here and lack of sleep in a strange bed. We're just about to watch Up! And DD and DH are taking bets on how long it will be before I cry
Ma I hope DD was spouted, she is so super talented xxx
Lots of love to you all, hope you are safe and warm wherever you may be tonight. Sorry not to add any wise words but I'm done in. xx
No she wasn't spouted but she had a blast and really enjoyed the whole experience.her friend Mollie went with her for moral support and dd was worried that Mollie would be bored or left out. Finally met up with her after performance to find Mollie had wangled her way into VIP audience section and was merry as a fiddler's elbow on free champagne and having a blast. Dd was most put out lol
Thank you koala I very much admire you.
I haven't dismissed the though of aa, but I'll try smart first. I'm very nervous about just going to a meeting but I can see from your post that I'm building it up into something it isn't. Will grow a pair in 2013.
Do you know what the worst thing about the sidecar is? I can see right up ma's skirt and she.. Oh sorry,ma didn't realise you were there.
kot yes the link works. Ta love!
I watched the first 5 mins but I'm off for a bath now. I'll watch the rest later. What do you think? to purple
Well we have HALT
I have another one - DEPART. Don't know if it's any good to anyone but feel free to use it -
DEPART - DEpression, PAranoia, Regret and Truth - it's what happens when we drink.
Hope everyone is doing well. Still shaking pom poms here.
Morning Green, glad you are feeling a little better. Good luck with the rest of the day Lovely. And I so know what you mean about tiredness being a trigger, puts you on the back foot before you even start the day. Hope the pains subside.
Feeling quite down today. Tasteless Farmer has not been in touch but has been back on the dating site in the last 24 hours Why can't these people be honest? It's not that I'm pining for him but more that I'm worried about my own judgement in men people - I thought he was a decent sort but I was wrong, again! I'm not 'desperately seeking' but it would be nice to have someone to go through life with. Single parent life is pretty lonely sometimes. Ho hum. Maybe I'll just buy 20 felines and be the mad cat lady of my village!
Feeling teary. xx
Hi Babes & Happy New Year! Wow thread has been so busy! green today's a new day & hope you are feeling better than yesterday & can completely relate with all you were feeling yesterday. MA amazing about your dd, you must have been so proud watching her on tv
I went to a party on Hogmany, ended up having a good time but tried to be really careful with what I was drinking & stuck to cider & didn't touch any wine. Had a couple of glasses of fizz at the bells. Had pre-booked taxi but cause we were havi g fun we cancelled it. Regret that a bit but don't think I behaved too badly. Then yesterday didn't feel the awful shame & regret that I normally do. Manage to visit in-laws then go to my parents for New Years Day dinner, was tired but not shaky. Think all the advice and reading this thread is helping so much to make me more aware of my drinking. 1st day for me today of dry January. Going to do this. Loved loved your post faire really want to be on the other side, going to venture through the mist today. mouse did you enjoy UP, watched it last night for the first time, what a fab wee film Hope so much you have had respite from your pain
Thank you to all this thread for being brave, amazing and inspirational xxx
hello all <shuffles in like new girl> Well, I am back at work (in body at least...) Luckily I am the manager so am just moving a few bits of paper around and replying to extraordinarily dull e mails etc, I will probably go home soon as still feel a bit low from the bronchitis. Last night was a bit odd. DH went out to the pub in the afternoon to watch football and there is still a ton of booze in the house from the 'season'. I was very tempted to have a glass of red wine but thought what would be the point?? Also had a very worried text from my eldest dd - she had seen a comment on fb from one of my friends calling me 'pisshead' as a joke as I had sent a nonsense text on NYE - I wasn't horrendously drunk but hadn't got my glasses on which made the text rubbish dd is terrified I'm going to go back to how I was when she was younger - and i was very very bad indeed. Managed to reassure her. Bless her. She's in her twenties and still scared ds12 was also saying 'whats that in that mug mum?' all last evening. Makes me realsie that acttaully it has been creeping up again and i have to stop completely. I can do it and I will. I hope everyone is ok. Still haven't got round to catching up with you all... sorry, will spend this day reading thread away from family!!
Ma one of the many advantages to not drinking is the wonderful sleep. Stick with it, it will come eventually, hopefully within a few days.
I'm heading out onto that ledge today. I can just see clutter disappearing into the mist in front of me. See you on the other side
Purple I had a little giggle to myself way back when Mouse misinterpreted 'TF' and thought you were calling him 'Twat Face' . Maybe it was a prophecy?
Anyway, there could be many reasons why he's not the one for you, nothing to do with who you are but more about himself. Let's face it, he doesn't know the 'real' you either does he, so there will be lots about him that you're not aware of yet.
On the plus side, you were able to go out with him for a meal and a couple of other dates, all without needing to drink. You had a chance to 'road test' some social situations without alcohol and, as I recall, they worked out very well for you. You were pleased that you didn't drink.
Another bonus, is that you don't have to torture yourself thinking you embarrassed yourself or ruined an evening by drinking to much and blaming all the problems in the relationship on yourself.
< silver lining >
Re the boot camp. I do want to diet, having put on about half a stone over the last few weeks, (how can that happen !), but I am mostly going to concentrate on dry January. Not going to worry too much about being strict with other calories as I'm still trying to stick to 'everything in moderation'. So if I want a biscuit I'll have one and won't beat myself up over it! That's got me into trouble in the past
Well I have liked Dry January on facebook so now it's out there and I can't go back
Umm diet pretty bad have already had several chocolates, some chocolate fingers, chocolate cake and crisps as well as my lunch ah well refueling after yesterday I guess - one thing at a time! xx
Testing
Afternoon, tis me, Mouse
Well, DH is ill and puking. We're still in North Yorks and I got stuck in bed again this morning. There's no way I can drive that far home, plus I'm over medded so I could get up. DD has been a star but I was striping the bed at 3am because Nemo had a really upset tum that escaped from his nappy. Deep joy
I could weep. On phone so short posts but well done to day 1 of the Brave Babes Bootcamp xxxxx
Well I'm feeling strong and determined today. Slightly concerned about the surfeit of naughty food and booze left over in the fridge from the festive period. Had a lovely NYE with friends here, lots of good wine and got pleasantly drunk but not hammered. Felt ok yesterday but by late afternoon I was feeling a bit rubbish (fighting off a cold) and not really like drinking (very unusual for me!) but I was determined to finish of the nice bottle of white from NYE. Had that (about half a bottle) and a couple of small glasses of red. Slept fitfully as usual but not too badly and woke up this morning feeling really glad that I'm not going to be smelling that sickly stale booze smell (that lately seems to emanate from me every night/morning) for the next couple of months.
So I've had a lowish GI lunch of blinis (batter left over from NYE) with salmon and creme fraiche. I'm debating what to do about the puddings/crisps/assorted delicious but naughty things still open. I suppose I could just let DD and DP eat them.
In the fridge there is:
Dregs of a bottle of cheapy white that someone brought round. That's going down the sink.
Quarter of a bottle of really special dessert wine. Saving that to have a little glass each with a nice pudding at the weekend (I know this breaches my no-white rule but I'm not wasting such lovely stuff!).
Three quarters of a bottle of decent white. I want to keep this vacuum corked in the fridge to use in sauces, as it always annoys me when I'm not drinking white when there isn't then any available for sauces and gravy. I don't want to be putting too much temptation in my way though if I have a weak moment so I'm a bit unsure as to what to do.
For me my danger time is always 5pm (when my resolve starts weakening and I start thinking about wine) until about 7.30pm (once I've eaten I'm ok). When I'm hungry, my will is very weak, so it's vital for me to keep nourished and not be hungry during that danger time, so I need to eat a low GI snack around 4.30pm. I'm going to aim for earlier dinner times too - around 6.30pm.
That's all for now. Be Brave, Babes.
guggs why change the habit of a lifetime
Anyway, have been out for walk and done some exercises so feeling smug again
aliasjoey I know how hard it can seem going to meetings - I went to AA for a while and was terrified before I got there, was sure there would be people I knew, or rough horrible 'drunks' . the reality, although it didn't work out for me in the end, was that they were all 'normal' people with different levels of problem as it were. If I was near you, I'd come with you - we donlt have smart in this area . Do have a think - let us know if you go!
Go on Joey... g'wan g'wan g'wan! If it's awful then you don't have to go again, but it probably won't be awful at all, and might be really helpful. You don't have to say anything if you don't want to, I wouldn't have thought.
Ma that's a bloody brilliant idea, thank you! Ice cubes it is.
Soma thanks for the vote of confidence, but I definitely do feel like a middle aged lush at the moment. You don't look like one at all, btw, you look like an elegant, vibrant woman!
Well it's the witching hour for me and I feel ok at the moment. Early days.
Mouse you really do have some rotten luck! Hope you all feel better soon.
I didn't mean to sound all judgey- pants and clutching at pearls. just that I'd feel a bit daft if they were all tough crack-cocaine, sleeping on the streets guys, and I pipe up saying I had too many sherries at Christmas
OOh joey you should go, then you can report back to us...
Actually, I know exactly what you mean about meetings. I know I need to get my ass to a meeting but I'm convinced that I only drink naice wine and that everyone else will be like The Rab C Nesbitt. I know this is bollocks. my only justification for this is that lots of the meetings are held in the street where all the street drinkers hang out and they tend to start the drinking and fighting at about 10 am. By 7.30 even their dogs are mullered.
I'm sort of thinking about going to a lunchtime meeting in a different part of town though. So, I'm on the bus, I'm joining smart and I'm going to go to aa. Desperate,me?
mia freeze the wine, that's a good idea.
ma you are a woman on a mission.
Evening and thanks Faire, Joey, Gugg, Ma and lovely Green for your continued supportive words.
Joey If you look up the AA helpline number they will then put you in touch with a female member of one of your local groups who will meet you before hand (they'll even come to your house if you want) and take you in to the meeting.
Feeling pretty shitty just now. Hoping wishing for this to pass soon. Birthday next week. I've invited 6 girly friends round - now panicking about getting the house in order in time.
On another note: TF has tried to 'phone me after I'd sent a text saying (nicely) goodbye and goodluck and he responded with a text asking me if I'm OK. Unfortunately, I was (really) cooking pasta at the time. Go figure! xx
@ Koti Mayyyyybe, in my own good time [grins] Thanks, you is luverrly too! xx
PS Even got ExP saving QS wrappers for you! Lol! x
Who knows Ma I never expected to be involved in the madness that is 'dating' at almost 51! Sheesh! You have no idea how many friggin' frogs there are out there!! at Wrappery Goodness! You do know, Koti, that I will put my weight gain solely down to your artistic bent!! Guffaw! xx
"artistic bent", hmmm, I've been called worse ;-)
Hey, Purple is good!!! Were you attempting to join the 'purple rinse' brigade!? x
well done ma and everyone else on Boot Camp!
I didn't go, DH wasn't keen on the idea (^the stigma^ he's worse than me at pearl- clutching) and I do need his support - he's been ever so good, and taken the sherry and leftover wine to his parents!
purple maybe TF went back on the dating site because he thought you weren't keen? maybe the age/confidence thing affects him too, you know men have that 'male pride'
Yes! Baaaaad Joey !! xx
Day 2 done am in bed reading slimming world mag and eating crisps ah well one step at a time
Just watched OBEM upstairs whilst dh is downstairs with the real ales dd1 bought him for xmas I am going to have to ask him to hide all the leftover booze as it's annoying me. I know he will, just don't like seeing it around. Shall snuggle up with my Kindle now - maybe even go mad and have another hot chocolate
I was just watching the snowman and the snowdog for the 15th time (I kid you not) when I heard a strange scottish skirling sound so faint it fair whispered in my ear...
Day 2 here as well. xx
Er, I mean, hello my dear friend, how the devil are you. That better?
Hope everyone has been doing ok. This is day 2 of dry January for me. Felt tempted last night once I got little one off to be but managed to resist. Boot camp not going quite so well but my mind is still kinda thinking I'm still on holiday! One thing at a time. No booze and will start healthy eating for proper next Monday
<mollified> Day 3 for me today. Taking the day off to go and look at rescue cats with dd7 - dh not happy but we WANT a cat !!! I should get up and do things, but jeremy kyle about to start
Holly just keep posting whatever's on your mind and someone will respond. It does move fast some days, other times there seems to be hardly anyone around. If you need help just give a really big shout and hopefully the Brave Babes Swat Team will arrive. Even lurkers have been known to jump in and assist on occasion
obrigada I feel you may be in need of some Swat assistance today. Now, what are your strategies. Any way you can keep in touch with us during the day?
Remeber Venus's wonderful advice to plan your drinks. Make sure you know what you will order. Take a list of your reasons for not drinking and keep it in your bag to refer to.
.. Thank you .
Haven't had a cat for a few years, but the dcs keep asking I really really want one but dh, for some arsey reason (says they cost about £100 a month to look after ) is being so nasty about it. I've got to the point where i just don;t give a stuff about his attitude - next door but one's cat thinks he lives here half the time and dh is secretly kind to him so i know he'll be ok in the end. The one we have sort of chosen is a 12 year old lady - she's black and white and 'chatty' apparently!! I know we will have to insure and feed her, but £100??? Idiot bloke!
We pay £16 per month for 3 cats, £4 per week in cat food. We don't have insurance so if anything happens we just pay as we go. If we go away on holiday we have a lovely neighbour who comes in and feeds them
My dh is a real soppy with our cat. I was the one who wasn't overly keen but of the all pets worth having, I think a cat is fairly low maintenance. They can look after themselves if you're out all day (provided they have everything they need), don't need to be taken out for walks, keep themselves clean, etc. My friend works for cat protection and she says you don't choose a cat anyway, they choose you
Holly There's a really good thread about the cost of keeping a cat on Money Saving Expert. You could point it out to your DH.
Morning everyone! Still feeling pretty down. . DC are at ExP's this weekend and I'm dreading it. Ho hum, I'll survive. Can't wait for Monday - to get back on track.
TF phoned me last night. Seems his Ex isn't sure she did the right thing leaving him. Apparently, to confuse matters, she recovering from a mastectomy and chemotherapy. They were together for 25 years and he's feeling responsible for helping her through it all. So, whilst he sorts himself out I shall be supportive from a distance and carry on shopping for men on Match! And at least I know now.
Have a good day Babes. Send some happy, bright lights my way to cheer me up?
<goes back to searching e-bay for a peach frilly number for Joey )
Sorry to hear your still feeling down purple At least now you know the situation with TF, might be easier than not knowing? Sending lots of positive thoughts & vibes to you. Could always send my lively, crazy, active toddler to you for the weekend, you would be kept very busy! xx
welcome pippin strap yourself in and hold on tight! The Bus is fairly rollicking at the moment, and if you're not careful you'll get sucked into mas Boot Camp or trying on bridesmaids dresses...
I am also feeling very sorry for self, still not sleeping well, convinced wine would help (as if) and cross that DH didn't want me to go to SMART.
Oh god - SLEEP when is it ever going to get better??
{{{{{{{*Purple*}}}}}} and bright lights and whatever else you need to lift your spirits. TF sounds like a decent bloke to me, good that you know and onwards and upwards. DD is away too at the moment and am trying to keep busy - have just texted one of her friend's mum's who's been saying to me for ages that she'd like to meet up so have arranged it. I need some new mates so nothing ventured nothing gained.
Holly £100 a month for a flipping cat!!!! I spend at most £10 a month on my cat and don't bother with insurance or getting her vaccinated either (used to but my brother who knows about animal health says that the vacs don't protect against much). As Clutter says, she's pay as you go. My ex was really anti-cat too and used the fact that he was allergic as an excuse for us not to get one but as soon as he was out the door, we did. Turns out now he isn't allergic after all and he really likes the cat The dog is another matter, I just paid out £100 at the vet's for a skin allergy but I'm insured. So tell your H to get real and rescue a lovely moggie from one of the many animal centres which are just bursting at the seams.
Sorry haven't read back far but hello to all the regulars and new babes alike. Haven't had a drink for a week and feeling determined. A question for Mouse and Faire vis a vis the recent discussion about the possibility of controlled drinking. How on earth did you both get there? Mouse I know you were on around 90 units a week at one stage so your achievement is amazing. Did it take a long time?
Welcome Pippin I know how you feel. This bus is fab and you'll get lots of support. Are you going to try to do without today? (Says me! Pah!)
Don't think he knows Joey, think he's feeling sympathy and responsible for her and not able to tell her to bugger off whilst she's in such a bad place. I know if my ExP was ill, I would look after him just because I still care about him. TF has made an appt with a councillor to talk it through (Hurrah! A man able to seek help when he needs it! My ExP might not be my ExP if he'd had the balls to do that!). They're not divorced yet but have been separated for 2 years.
And, Joey you will wear what you are told! xx
Pippin Welcome - We ALL know the feeling of being sick of ourselves here! Absolutely pig sick of ourselves!! It can get better YOU can change it and claw back some self respect. Please don't worry about whinging - we are all very good at that here too
Purple Sounds very messy and best to keep a safe distance for now - fuck though, he has farmhouse, puppy, log fire and is now helping ExW through cancer - can he get anymore perfect!!
You're right, Green. I go on if I've been sent a message from someone on the site just to say 'Thanks but no thanks you bald old fat git! Lol! So it could be that <shrugs> Oh, btw, did I mention he has horses too.......?
<What's that saying "Physician heal thyself"? Just re-read my post to Pippin and am feeling very hypocritical >
For Joey $(KGrHqN,!k0FClQoqm9JBQ1IS9m3pg~~60_12 !
Ooops! Ignore above - link doesn't appear to work. !
pippin when my eldest dd was small and I was on my own, I used to start drinking at 9am - after I'd dropped her off at school. I'd continue all day, literally all day Nothing shocks me at all. It's so easy. It just didn't seem abnormal - you can normalise any behaviour. No-one is going to judge, cos i reckon we've proabably all been there, or somewhere nearby.
We've just been to see the cat - sadly poor old Poppy is a bit too old and poorly for us to manage so we have chosen a bit fat boy called Smudge he is amazing - he needs to be on a bit of a diet - but he's 7, tabby and white and boo-tiful. DH seems resigned as well. he called and I just matter of factly told him we had reserved the cat. His comments were twofold: 'well it bettr not piss on the floor' and 'you and dd2 will be looking after it then?' RESULT!!
I've read all of you're replys, on a soddy blackberry so can't reply that quick, overrated..not much! Tbh I'm a little bit shocked by the replys, I felt like I was the only one. Isolated, thanks so much for welcoming me I do need the support, I'm worried about loosing my 2 kids.
Money is a good motivator - I've also stopped smoking since October and with that and the drink we should be able to feed the new cat
Sorry, meant to say thank you Clutter for your positive vibes but I think I'll pass on the offer of a lively toddler! Just the thought is exhausting!
Koti glad to hear you've got a good 'un. I've been dating, on and off for about 2 years now - but have long periods of time where I really can't be bothered. Think I might be too picky?!
You are right, Green. The difference between me now and me a year ago is that I'm not nearly as down as I was then. I even phoned the Samaritans a few times. I can and will get back to sobriety.
My laptop is driving me crazy today!! Keeps freezing but I cannot be arsed to short the bloody thing out. Might just hoof it out the window though!
I can hardly keep up with you lot!
pippin welcome! I may be wrong but I suspect that most of us have a few drinking stories up our sleeves that would make your hair stand on end- might just be me This is a new start and we're all in this together. Can you read back through the threads? Try to drink lots of water and rest you will feel so much better.
green and kotinka I need to do the pro/ con exercise- will do in a bit. The smart site is interesting but I found it hard to navigate (thick emoticon)
holly smudge sounds gorgeous, please keep us updated.ma ollie is lovely.I have an old lady of 16. She and ds rule the roost here.
baby I think i'm finally there too. I don't want to go through another hangover like the one I just had. Hold on we can do this.
koala If there was a bus medal/ trophy/sew on badge- you should be awarded one. I hope you feel really good about yourself
purple maybe just treat tf just as a friend for a bit, nice if you see him but not bothered otherwise kind of thing? Sounds stressful for you. If you still wish joey to be a bridesmaid please remember that she looks her best in custard yellow and prefers leg-of-mutton sleeves. And a hooped skirt.
Gugg yes the site is hard to navigate I couldn't find the tools mentioned in the video Kotinka posted.
I just googled them as in "SMART recovery CBA exercise and I found the american site where the tool chest is and all the exercises are there and some really interesting articles and videos- I signed up for the UK site but there isn't much in the online community. It also works like facebook and other users on the site can IM you like the facebook chat option wasn't quite ready for that so had to rebuff someone quite quickly - to be honest they were a newbie looking for help with the site and there were only a few online to ask - Wasn't you was it???
Thanks Gugg. Good advice. I'm actually quite surprised at how laid back I've been. I haven't invested much of 'me' so I'm not finding it stressful, really. I've offered a listening ear and will leave it at that. There is a huge part of me that isn't sure I'm ready for a 'proper' relationship until I beat this feckin' drink problem. If I'm around anyone long enough they'll be bound to guess. I've made some horrendous dating mistakes through alcohol and pretty sure I 'lost' one chap that I really liked after 6 weeks because of it.
Hmmmm custard yellow, you say? Yes, yes, I can see that! I'm liking your ideas, you style guru, you! I was thinking the material should be brush nylon - that would look fab!
<ducks to avoid being hit by Joey with left-over mince pies >
Thanks Gugg and Green Strangely enough, to all intent and purpose, I look and sound normal when pissed (wtf does that say about what I've done to myself!!??) but I do 'lose' lots of conversations After she'd told me I did have a vague recollection of the topic. I need a breath test on the phone, too. The number of people I call when I'm pissed!! Or text! Bugger this bloody thing! Also, DD, came in and said (triumphantly) "You didn't clean your teeth last night!". She had the toothpaste in her room. I lied (wine is not worth the weight of this guilt!!!) and said I had used some out of my gym bag. How many more signs do I need!!? So, no, thank you Lovely Gugg not doing well at all at the moment.
Pippin - you could always find a different doc? How are you feeling now? Fancy chucking the rest of the booze down the drain yet? It may seem a waste but YOU are not a BIN (How I stop myself polishing off the kids' sweets).
I was pretty much where you are now in August, I think I couldn't really see how bad things had got, like someone said upthread, it had all become normal. The first few days without are a bit rough, but if you stick with it, you'll pass through the withdrawal symptoms and begin to feel better.
Did you say you're currently on 3 bottles of wine a day? I believe that if you see a GP you can get medication to help with the withdrawal symptoms for the first couple of weeks can anyone confirm this?
Baby, nice to have you back & sorry you're having a rotten time. Has it been the whole festive season set you off? It set me back a bit too :-(
purple - no, not too picky, trust your instincts, like you have been doing.
Gugg (thanks for nice comments about my sculpture thingy ) Re SMART, it was 2013YAY who recommended it, I agree, the site is a bit crappily laid out, and it annoyed me that you had to register on the UK one to get to the videos etc, but website gripes aside, I hope it helps.
(So help me,I'm going to get the technical hammer to this fucking laptop any moment now...... )
Yes, Koti (my DC are impressed I have a friend called Kotinka! ) I got sleeping pills (2 weeks worth) and Campral - which works on the brain to suppress cravings. Campral doesn't make you ill if you do drink but still requires a lot of will power as it's not that strong. Never had sleeping pills before but they took away the panic of that "I'M NOT GOING TO BE ABLE TO SLEEEP" thing
I shan't tell them any different Koti! x
Afternoon, tis me, Mouse
Koti - IME you are right re meds.
Pippin - welcome, you've had some great advice here already
I think if you went to your GP, (assuming you've not yet??) you WOULD get specific medication to support your alcohol withdrawal, over a set period of time, done gradually given the amount (3 bottle per day IIRC) you consume currently.
I should imagine that your GP would want you to stop altogether, (not all at once, so not any alcohol at all, not cold turkey I mean <waffle>) at least for a short time to give your entire body (not just your liver, much more is affected by alcohol abuse at this level) a break.
You'll be given something to help you sleep if that is a part of your reason for drinking. The last thing that your GP will want is for your body to go into shock through the lack of toxins, chemicals and sugar in wine that your body is used to.
You'll be given a plan to work towards also if that's what you want, I was and found that it helped me to work towards something. A goal every two weeks to start, then weekly, then daily.....
It is up to you really but the only way that you are going to stop drinking how you are now is to go and get some real HELP.
Stock up on sweets, fizzy drinks, pain killers for headaches, Dioralyte is a good call as you'll be dehydrated too......
Pippin - I've not read back properly but will do, just popped in and spotted Koti's question, I hope you're okay and not too overwhelmed by all of the posts
Soma - will come back to you in a bit....... did you ask how I got from 90 units to where I am now? I'll have a think back and try to put it into words that make sense.
Update here - Nemo is still poorly, it took us 4+ hours to get home through freezing fog, traffic jams for no reasons and driving rain, DH is really ill, DD is bored, my pain levels are shit thanks to two mornings on the run of being stuck in bed unable to move for two hours whilst I did my pain drill and we have no food in.
Other than that, life is pretty peachy compared to some out there so I am grateful for the other things in my life, such as wonderful friends, family and This Bus to keep me sane and SOBER!
Be back later,
Mouse xx
<<puts hand out to hail bus but is astonished to see it sail past, bursting at the seams, voices carrying on the wind about cats (chatty = intolerably needy and noisy, btw; I have a 'chatty' dog ), bridesmaids' dresses, new babes, old babes, old boot(camping) babes, etc.>>
I'll read back later when I'm fighting the wine witch, but just wanted to check in today. Dry day yesterday and ate healthily until DP got some icecream out of the fridge and my resolve dissolved in an instant. I'm not going to beat myself up about the food thing at the mo, just concentrate on eating as much really healthy tasty food as possible (there's still half a frangipane cherry tart in the fridge with that Sauternes, but I'm not thinking about that until Saturday night!).
So, I've just put the dinner on in the slow cooker - much easier for me to do the cooking now whilst my resolve is strong, than later when I'm hungry and grumpy and cooking is a trigger for pouring a glass of wine. Squid in puttanesca sauce. Oh yum! The scent of onions and tomatoes and fennel seeds is permeating the house already, and by six o'clock I'll be so delirious with the smell of it that I won't even be thinking about wine. <<nods determinedly>>
Kot the GP can put you on benzos to help with withdrawal/anxiety - Diazepam usually and just a short course because they're worried about possible addiction.
My GP kept giving them to me because I kept asking (drug brain ) and in the end I had to ask her to never give them to me again!
Thanks Mouse yes, I'd be interested to know (when you have time), how you got down from such a high intake to such a very sensible one. Mia I can smell your cooking, I hope it does the trick and you have a lovely evening.
goodness it's busy -struggling to keep up with you all
purple are you ok, dear thing? You sound glum. isnt't that a nice word? GLUM?
am hungry and thoughts turning to wine - the witch has called early today, bastard.
pippin did you get a doctor's appt? Please go and ask for help. I take ADs and they have been very helpful though hoping to come off them later this year. You sound like you are doing a good job with the children so far so well done. That is hard to do while battling an illness. Because that's what you have, sweets.
I second its better than you refer yourself than be reported by someone else.
It is always seen positively.
mouse where you find the energy to be postitve, beats me. You are amazing.
Hugs Mouse Brave babe! Ma Kick her in her bony ass! Mia Can I come round for tea
Pippin I do that to, the forgetfulness It's so embarrassing
p.s. I've typed Tasty Farmer so many times now that it's coming up as a keyword on my kindle...
Hmm, getting a bit of the '3 day twitches' as well as the 'thursday' twitches! I normally work Mon - Thurs, which = drinking on thursday nights, and even though I wasn't at work today it's been a long day with dd and ds - cat shopping and entertaining..Dh home in front of the cricket - I've hidden all the drink (except for a half bottle of red wine) and am cooking a nice curry but feeling a bit...restless. I would go to the gym but it will be packed as usual this time of year with idiots who jin on the 1st Jan as it is every sodding year and that will just enrage me further. I do have [sick secret] the new 'take a break' and I guess Celeb Big bro for later, but it's the next few hours!! help!!
what's 'ww' <thick> Feeling ok right now - watching the rivetting local news programme mad, me.
I hate being like this though I so don't want to 'have a drink problem' I know I have, I KNOW it. However much I pretend I haven't. Bugger!
I wish AA had worked - it was a shame I got involved with the AA-ers who were, quite frankly 'odd'. Problem is they permeated all the meetings here. I will try to fathom out the SMART website (it is tricky isn;t it??) Have registered but can't get the hang of it at all! As soon as all the January gymmers bugger off from my gym (next week ) I'll be back there though and when I get back to work properly hopefully things will be easier. huey, I so know how you feel. Did it for almost a year once and was so proud...
This bus moves so fast! Glad I jumped on earlier or think it would have went right past me! Took the tree & decorations down which feels like the clutter is clearing a bit. New year & feeling really optimistic about not being such a drunken lush this year. Your new cat smudge sounds lovely holly hope he settles in well with you all, cats are definitely low maintenance pets. curry I can so relate to having those drunken conversations. Last bad one was last year was out with friend & we went back to hers, then I said better go as working in the morning. She looked gutted & said we had planned I was staying for her birthday, phoning in Chinese, having a nice night in. I really couldn't remember & realised the last time I spoke to her I'd been drinking wine at the time Hope everyone's managing to kick the wine witches but tonight! Love the analogy of her being a naughty toddler (altho don't think I should be kicking my naughty toddlers butt...should I ?!! ) mouse sorry your having such a shit time, you are one amazing woman for staying so strong & positive, good things will be coming your way soon. purple huge hugs for you sweetie (((((( )))))) hope you start feeling brighter soon. Being friends with TF may be more fun & a good way to really get to know one another without all the other awkward feelings getting on the way....maybe?
alias don't think anyone has ever said that about me before.I usually talk shite
Are the new Babes sticking with us as we speed along? pippin * tiger*
<<hands out bowls of steaming, aromatic squid linguine puttanesca to green and gugg>> at the thought of opening my door to a find gerald parked outside and a rabble of hungry Brave Babes wanting their tea!
greyhound sorry to hear things are so shit for you at the moment. I agree that it's not healthy for your son to absorb those messages about relationships, that it's ok for you to be treated badly.
purple I've seen that before, perhaps there are worse things than a drink problem
Huey well done, that is a massive achievement. I'm so glad you enjoyed your sober Christmas. Keep on going and do come back to let us know how you're getting on. It's great to hear how far this bus reaches
Hello and welcome to Tiger. Have a seat and post what you like, whenever you like.
I like it when the bus is busy but it can be a bit overwhelming for newcomers. I remember jumping on just after someone else so that I wouldn't be the only newbie. But we're a friendly, if somewhat mad diverse group
< passes round opal fruits starbursts >
Greyhound we will all be here to help and support you when the time is right to make changes. Ma is right, small changes can make big differences. Small victories win the war x
Soma I'm aware that you've asked me about controlled drinking a couple of times and I haven't been very precise in my answers. It's difficult to describe but if it's ok with you I'll do what Mouse said and have a think how best to explain it. You see, what works for me might not work for you, but I promise I'll get back to you on that one ok?
Isinde you big tease!!
Come back and let us know what's been happening. How are those gorgeous girls of yours? Have your parents got you tied up in a basement somewhere without internet connection or what? x
Seriously, don't make me write more disgraceful poetry
Hairy Muff!? Good grief, whatever next!?
ps
Isinde has been gone so long
I start to wonder, what went wrong
Who will drive the bus tomorrow
How can I restrain my sorrow
You have been warned
Anyone else struggling with drinking still up?
I know I've got a problem but I'm trying to stop. I have been thinking about how much I want a glass of wine all evening
I'm up. Sober but only just. Hell of a close call tonight. Will try to post about how I got from almost 90 units per wk to between 0 and 13 at most.
On my phone which is dying. Very triggery night. Nemo related. I'm just utterly, totally wrung out. I can't do this all day every, day in, day out on my own. Our own, even when he lets DH into his little world
I can't sleep. Phone has almost gone but will post in the morning about getting through hell. Aka - my life as I now know it.
Sorry.
Morning babes
Well done anyone who managed to see off the ww or control their drinking.clutter isn't it horrible when even a little bit of booze wrecks a nights sleep?
Mouse hope today is a little brighter,is there any way of getting a rest?
mia that was a lovely dinner, what are we having tonight? Also doesn't puttanesca mean tart? not the edible variety?
grey how are you feeling today? Made any plans? much sympathy.
green I did the cost analysis worksheet thing from smart and it was a bit of an eyeopener. I have 1 reason why I 'enjoy' drinking and many, many disadvantages. I kept thinking of more and more disadvantages during the night- I hadn't even recorded potential liver damage, increased risk of cancer etc. And I hadn't even begun to think about the effect my drinking has on others, pretty selfish of me really. I might have another go at that sheet in a weeks/ couple of weeks time.
'lo there tiger cross posts
Well done 4 days is great. I think the poor sleep will start to improve very soon but you will probably feel knackered during the day for a few days too. It seems to be part of the process of clearing the toxins out (you can probably tell that I do not have a scientific background )
In what way do your legs hurt? I have that restless legs syndrome, which sucks,when if I quit alcohol the 'syndrome' is very bad for a while and then improves. I take a magnesium vitamin and when my legs really hurt I take some panadol before bed. Is that anything like yours?
now I've finished shouting, I meant to add:
faire LOVE the new name, made me - and give the opal fruits back to joey for God's sake before she has a tantrum and rips her new dress!
tiger Day 4 for me and like you, struggling with the sleeplessness and worried about weekend. But try not to project - ODAAT remember. Hopefully the sleep thing will improve soon.
Ma talking sense again, she is on a role
Good morning all - only just woken up as am going through the same sleepless ness thing - always takes a while when you've just stopped drinking doesn;t it? Added to which, a very busy 7 year old dd who like s to foloow me around the house from bed to bed over night . My night: Couldn't sleep, so went into ds lower bunk, dd woke me and got in, I fell out, went into her bed, she found me, me back to our bed, dh had to get up for work...woke up..ad finitum. ARGH. I'm sorry mouse - I do remember Nemo. It must be very hard I hope everyone has a peaceful and productive day
Morning. Back in my usual guise but might give my Hairemuff another airing later
Just wanted to add my voice to those supporting Mouse. Gugg's suggestions are good ones, didn't you used to have someone like that coming round Mouse? I suppose it will be some respite when he goes back to nursery next week. Will you have to stay with him or did they get a 1-1 worker sorted out in time?
Anyway, sending huge Gruffalo sized hugs. You've got a lot of love over here but, as ma says, that won't be enough to get you through the day sometimes. Keep spilling it all out here though won't you, lovely. We are all so very proud of you x
wow ma you are really amazing. am in awe of your strength right now!
well I decided to drink a whole bottle of wine - I had the notion that it would convince DH that I should go to SMART anyway I drank most of it, but stopped before the end. which is weird cause normally I would have pushed on no matter what. more recently, I'd have poured it down the sink to avoid temptation. but put the cap on and just leave it?! self-control like that is usually beyond me!
am considering going for dry January. but part of me thinks I don't need to since control has improved so much...
mouse yes we may have to lay on another Bus, because it sounds like you are addicted to coping (I mean that in a nice way)
Sorry tiger totaly miss read that, hi!
Sorry tiger totaly miss read that, hi!
Ma- I have stuff to do around the house, I normaly just sit in the lounge chain smoking and glugging wine. Thinking about mind numbing chores I should be doing. God I sound so grim, but I will always be honest.-m going to 2 force myself to walk the dog a few miles, then come back and collapse. Magazines are so expensive. Much cheaper than 3 bottles of wine though! Thanks for everyones support year all so lovely and tbh. I didn't expect it.
Ma- I have stuff to do around the house, I normaly just sit in the lounge chain smoking and glugging wine. Thinking about mind numbing chores I should be doing. God I sound so grim, but I will always be honest.-m going to 2 force myself to walk the dog a few miles, then come back and collapse. Magazines are so expensive. Much cheaper than 3 bottles of wine though! Thanks for everyones support year all so lovely and tbh. I didn't expect it.
always expect the unexpected on this bus.....
walking the dog is a good plan. and when you get back in and feel the urge to drink, down a pint of water, saddle up the dog and go and walk some more.
Keep away from triggers where you feel the need for a glass in your hand, break the routine...
Hark at me, I've only been dry 3 days and I know it all ....
Ma- 3 days longer than me, the only time I've not felt like it was when pregnant, this sounds awfull but it did enter my head "no more wine, I'm so glad". Desperate muchio? I know this isn't all about me, don't want to block the bbbbus,its nice to be able to speak to another person. Rather than thinking/feeling like you're the only one on this "winewitch" planet! She needs slaying
Ma- 3 days longer than me, the only time I've not felt like it was when pregnant, this sounds awfull but it did enter my head "no more wine, I'm so glad". Desperate muchio? I know this isn't all about me, don't want to block the bbbbus,its nice to be able to speak to another person. Rather than thinking/feeling like you're the only one on this "winewitch" planet! She needs slaying
Thanks Greeneyed, Joey, Ma. I will see how it goes - I think he doesn't realise the effect his behaviour has on me. I tried to talk about it to him but it doesn't go in
Gugg you're perfectly right (do you speak Italian/Spanish?) spaghetti puttanesca means whore's spaghetti! It's the same again for dinner tonight - when I do things in the slow cooker I alway do enough for two nights as the flavour really develops and they taste better the second day. What time shall I expect you?
Mouse please take on board what your friends are telling you, you lovely woman. You and your family can't go on like this.
Ma you're on fire at the moment! It's lovely to hear you so full of determination and enthusiasm. You can be strong this weekend, I just know you can. There are lots of babes on the bus better at handholding than I am, but if you need your hand held then mine is outstretched for you.
I'm feeling pretty good here. I ate the last of the icecream last night though. Tonight will be squid puttanesca again with one small glass of red, and I had a three egg omelette with a sprinkling of cheese for lunch. Breakfast was a handful of chestnuts and a spoonful of granola (not together, that would be wrong). I'll weigh myself on Monday, I think, but I don't expect to have lost anything as I've been scoffing icecream!
MA you have been so strong for everyone else & I'm sending lots of positive vibes, hugs, virtual hand holding that you can get through this weekend (( )) x To all the other brave babes, hope that you & I can stave off the wine witch & boozy demons this weekend. I'm sitting preparing for interview for 8:30 on Monday morning....that's giving my butt in kick back to reality! (well I say preparing, does mn count?)
purple sending you hugs lovely & hope you can find lots of positive things to keep you occupied when dc go for the weekend
Well done guggenheim Amazing!
I just want to ask a wee question to the brave babes put there. I'm not sure I I should be on this thread? I'm a binge drinker & can easily go weeks and weeks without a drink. Can be in the house Monday through to Sunday night & have no inclination for a drink. But, when I go out its a different story. I do feel that since I jumped aboard in September I have got better with my drinking when out & I am trying to give up wine completely as it is a demon drink for me. Lately on the bus I have been feeling maybe I shouldn't be here, as I can't really offer much help or support for those trying to give up drinking daily. I feel like a bit of a fraud being here. I'm not sure if there are others like me who have problems binge drinking? My Granda was an alcoholic & my dm is going down same path & I do worry that maybe at the moment my issues are when I binge but further down the line it may get worse? Anyway sorry for rambling on (think I'm procrastinating from preparing for job interview!!)
Day 3 or is it 4??? Friday night is approaching and I am really worried that I will give in but I felt so very determined
Have said no to take out and have a book to read and may watch trashy tv with a mug of tea am sorry that I don't acknowledge everyone but I find that I can only post and run or I get side tracked!!
Good luck to all this weekend x
curry DH was not keen on SMART because of the stigma he says if you want to cut down, why don't you just stop? he really doesn't understand how hard it is...
soma glad to hear Alfie has stopped scratching! we haven't got ours under control, still no idea what is causing it. I thought he seemed better after using stronghold, although there is no evidence he had mange. we've spent a fortune on special food, and every so often end up back at the vets because he's chewed his paw so much he gets a nailbed infection.
I suspect it might be a grass allergy. we use wheat-free food, and regularly bathe him with a coal-tar shampoo. he is worse if he's bored. if he gets bad I give him an antihistamine. you can give dogs human ones, which is much cheaper than going to the vets. (you have to give them the normal ones NOT the non-drowsy kind)
and ironically we got a poodle because they are non-allergenic. sorry, I've derailed the thread. as you were.
Ooh I've lost 3lbs! Even with the icecream intake! There's what not drinking for a few days (and stopping stuffing my face from the time I get up to the time I go to bed) can do.
Just for the record, my waist measurement is 86cm and my hips are 112cm (I just measured myself for the wondrous M&S shape jeans). My BMI is now 26.1 and I'm 12 stone 4lbs. When's the weigh in Ma?
Struggling a little with resisting the lure of wine tonight. I'm wondering whether to have a glass of red as planned, or whether that'll just make me want more. The smell of the sauce wafting through the house is helping me focus on food as the priority.
Perhaps I'll go and have a nice bath too Joey thanks for the tip about anti-histamines, I had no idea about dogs having allergies until I got one (a dog that is).
Hello lovely Sarah it's always great to hear from you. Pippin, this lady really knows what it's all about.
Evening, tis me, Mouse
Ma - I love you for shouting at me. I needed that, I'm going to explain things a little bit more. Thank you xx
Hello and welcome to all new and returning Babes xx
LONG POST ALERT, FEEL FREE TO IGNORE
I'm so, so sorry about last night. I was so utterly exhausted. DH has been ill again all over the NY, Nemo too ever since his operation in November, we got stuck at our friend's in North Yorkshire for longer than planned, had no food in, we'd all had no sleep, had no hope left in us really. We were all feeling beyond deflated.
Nemo has had respite, it didn't work out because he refused (I'm talking the MOTHER LOAD of all meltdowns, not just temper but real fear ) to be left alone with his case worker for ages. She took 6 months to establish a sort of relationship with him and then turned up black and blue one day. He's not stupid. He's a very savvy little boy who can tell when things are wrong.
We didn't see her for a few months. Then she came back and he refused to be with her alone, or even without me, saying he was scared. No amount of reassurance from any source helped. Some of you might remember all of this.
His new worker was the same, which means I DO NOT get a break which is the whole point of respite isn't it? For the main carer to get a break? Regardless of the fact that I'm disabled myself..... nothing else is available where we live. So, we've called it a day with the service as they could only provide care adhoc and now he's at school, nothing fitted in really.
He starts back at school with his 1 - 1 on Jan 11th. Yay! I hear you all cry, a break at last for Mouse
HOWEVER, that means jack shit in the grand scheme of things to start with because as you know from having your own children, leaving them is bad enough, but when YOU have been in the setting with them the whole time, as their carer for the last 2 years, you can see where this is going, right?
It's going to take time for him to let go of me, and if I am honest, me him, I need to know that the level of care will be the same from his 1 - 1 as it has been from me but in all fairness to her, I trust her and think that she will give him 100% of herself and is looking forward to the challenge he will bring.
We've been buddies and pals through so many things, as well as mother and child, it's not going to be easy but I NEED THIS BREAK! Nemo needs this break.
The plan is for me to get him in, settled and then I leave. I'm going to text every half hour to check, or his worker will text me. We're working on 'distraction'. Keep him busy, having fun with her (who he has known since the start) and then call me back if he gets upset and they are aware of the levels of upset he has.
So, it's a matter of days until he goes back to school. How long it takes him to settle without me is another matter. I'm hoping it's days not weeks. Please, Jeff, only days.
Last night I lost it big time with him. He was refusing to put his PJ bottoms on. After hours, days of battling with him, I just lost it.
I screamed at him and walked out of the room. I went upstairs and started to put the mountain of laundry away. I wanted to get in the car and drive until I didn't know where I was. I wanted to go. Forever.
It's been years since I've felt like that. Years. I scared myself at just how fierce I felt and how much I wanted out.
I'm not trying to be a martyr, I don't like to be thought of like that, because that's how I see my own mother, moaning on and on about x,y and z but refusing help that is there (she has MS and various other things wrong with her but smokes like a chimney even though she has been told it's killing her and she MUST stop) and in abundance.
Whereas with me, there is NO HELP, there's just no help out there anymore. He's too old because of the fact he's in preschool. Plus, it's all about the funding and cost cutting. No resources, no help, not when YOU need it. Not when I need it so very much. There's no help for me whilst I care for him either in terms of physical relief...... swimming, gentle gym and tailored core exercises etc
I like the idea of asking his 1-1 about helping out but she runs the before and after school clubs, plus other things at weekends so she'd be pushed but it's a good idea, thank you xx
DH is around at weekends. He's taken the day off work because of last night. He finally saw just how close I was to necking a bottle of wine or seven and then some. He saw my face. He felt my pain and has spent the day sharing the care, he took Nemo off to the park for over an hour!
Today we have done everything as a team. It's been so long, 8 weeks maybe since we've spent the whole day together. Even when we were with our friends in North Yorks, DH went out with their children, leaving me with Nemo. No mention of taking him for fresh air even though I'd been saying ALL day that he was going stir crazy. WTAF?
It is a constant battle and one I am not prepared to engage in every day anymore. Toady has been rules and 'if you do this for mummy, I will let you have this in return'.
Boundaries. Firm, solid and enforced. He is back in his own room tonight, after weeks of not being well enough, he is finally well enough to be left through the night (choking on his feed tube increased due to his op and then his mega cold) so I have TOLD DH and he has TOLD Nemo that he is on night shift. If he wants something, he is to shout for DH, not ME!
I know that you are all only trying to help me and care, that melts my heart as non of you 'know me'. I'm just some random poster who carries on a thread that Jesus started
Thank you all for your kind words. I feel better today, more in control. Although I know I have another small battle to face, I do feel better about the coming days. I just need to reassure him that I am coming back for him once I drop him off!
Now, thank you for reading this if you got this far.....
I love the support that this thread brings to my life xx
(Sorry for typos!!!! I know that there will be some, knowing me! )
Bad, Koti real bad. x
Greeneyed, Ma & Soma, yes, day 4 quite tricky here, practically chewed a hole in my lip I'm so antsy! I'm gonna get a fecking big pizza instead, there's no way I'm giving in, this is annoying me now & I'm one stubborn cow when I'm angry.
Thanks Koti xx Just can't seem to 'pull my socks' up just now. So disappointed in myself and rather a lot of self-loathing going on here. Done slightly better today in the fact that I've eaten reasonably well (fuck all yesterday ) and I've been drinking lots water, too. Woke up with a very sore stomach lining due to pouring so much acid down it yesterday. I don't seem to get conventional hang-overs but my stomach and kidneys are complaining like hell today. The DC go back to school on Tuesday (thought it was Monday but, no) but I was hoping to rein things in before then. Fucked off with myself, how can I be so stupid?!. Soz.
Thank you to those who have read my vent
Ma - 'pick your battles'..... yup, normally, firing on all cylinders there, he'd have gone to bed as he was. It was the tiniest straw that broke the Mouse's back
Koti - I don't get any practical help (I've asked), But I do get DLA so have to arrange my own home help as it were. I will be so much better once preschool returns and in the holidays, DH is gonna have to plan time for ME! And time for Nemo too. The line has been drawn.
Shutting up about me now, I'm sorry to take up so much of the thread, I feel cathartic for getting it all out.
Purple - you okay xx???
Green Thanks Hun. Yes, they went a few hours ago. Fuckwit ExP is bringing them back early because he has to work on Sunday. Is he never going to get his priorities right?? And just sending support on here is helping, thank you . I'll get back there, soon, hopefully. xxx
OK purps so you've had a better day, eating, drinking lots of water and keeping posting. What's not to like? Start putting a plan together for next week, set tiny targets liken" today I will drink more water" . oh look, you did that one already
mouse I'm serious about an au pair. When Ds was younger we had an au pair who didn't live with us, as we didn't have room, but who picked up ds after school, played with him, did some tidying up and sometimes cooking. All for 30 quid a week and several hours English lessons to help get into university. Oh yes, HE was also drop dead gorgeous!
That's nice faire
<slaps purple with a wet fish> stop snivelling ya daft old tart.
mouse great advice for ma on letting your DH take over, even if he does things differently to the way you would do them. o know my DH and I have different approaches, as long as we agree on the basics it does the kid good to learn that adults (parents, grandparents, teachers) are individuals
interesting that koti suggested getting a home help for YOU and you automatically assumed she meant for memo... think maybe maybe you forget about your own needs sometimes. o hope that doesn't sound patronising
and ma you are on FIRE tonight! am really enjoying reading your posts at the moment!
GAH! sorry feeling really stressed. DD has been so clingy and irritating today - it's a mixture of it being nearly the end of the hols, the whole getting the cat excitement, her brother annoying her - and she has a hearing impariment which frustrates her when she's in certain 'moods' Day 4 is always tricky too isn;t it - especially being a Friday. I just want to stick gin in my gob sorry to be mememe. Will sort it out - rant over Hope all is going ok with all of you..
Ma - if Nemo would stay with someone else, there would be any number of volunteers. I swear, they are queuing up.
He. Just. Won't. Let. Anyone. In.
My friends are so worried, they also care and have seen myy weight drop off, my moods fluctuate, my life in tatters a few days a week because I was so tired, they want to help, he just has such a terrible time of things, his PTSD is affecting him still...... that will take time and nurturing to get through. He needs to let someone other than me and DH in.
And he will, in time.
Time. That's what his nurse said, it'll take time for him to get used to the fact that it's all over now.
So, it's not the getting someone, it's the getting him to be with that someone.... and with school just across the road, I can pick him up. I'll want to by then.
Purple xx
I'm here Joey, lurking in a shame-faced way, , hiding under one of the seats in the side-car!. The fish was useless, Ma needs to polish up her slapping technique but...but.... I did make myself a tuna salad sandwich (and it was so nice, I'm thinking of making another one). Also managed to sort out some photos onto disc for my DC's school's website that they asked me for (weeks ago!). I don't know about anyone else but I have always been shit at asking for help in RL. This Bus is a revelation for me. The support, care and support I've found here is phenomenal. Thank you all, my Bus friends. xxxx
I'm in the sidecar too. I'm finishing up yesterday's wine and another mini bottle, and fretting cause it's not enough, I want more. guess that shows there is a problem. so tomorrow I'm going to start dry January.
the Bus is great isn't it
Hope alias mouse kotinka purple MA guggs hope pippen green & all other brave babes managed ok last night to beat whatever demon you were fighting off or that the sidecar not too bumpy. I didn't have a drink last night & slept better for it & feel better this morning. Starting to get oh no work on Monday feeling but will have had 17 days off so really, really shouldn't complain! Think it's cause it's first day back & have interview at 8:30am!! Going to spend a nice day with my children today & may take little one out on his bike as still have not managed this due to weather! Hope today ok for all babes
Aw well done holly and hope feels so much better than usual fuggy head on a Saturday morning. I need to go get teenage dd up soon & know she's going to be grumpy but need to break the sleeping all day up all night cycle before she goes back to school on Tuesday. Aw good luck getting smudge, that's exciting, new little kitty cat Interview is for community school nurse post, same band that I'm on but school holidays (though better not say at interview that that's what appeals to me)
Good luck with new cat East. remember rescue cats can be a bit traumatised so let him hide if he wants to and take things at his own pace.
well the great weigh in has occurred. Drum roll please......after week 1 I have lost 3 lbs, reduced my BMI from 27.2 to 26.8 and been 4 days without booze.
I have also found a walking buddy and new friend, and said "no" to the dds expecting me to do everything for them.
I don't know who I am any more but I like it
<slaps purple really hard with fish just for the hell of it> Technique any better this time?
greyhound are you ok? Is DP home all weekend or can you get some time on your own?
Anyone ever hear from rural - I worry about her.
Yay well done Ma!!
You've sounded so different this last week or so, it's been really inspiring. Keep going and see things changing around you as you get stronger.
Well done Obrigada on the wedding, too - I don't think I could manage to stay sober at a wedding.
So, having planned to have a glass of red with dinner (then debated endlessly with myself whether I'd be able to stop at one), in the event of it I had a sip and didn't really like it, had two more sips to make sure, and gave it to DP! Normally I'd have drunk it anyway or asked him to open a different bottle.
This morning I woke up refreshed and not smelling that horrible sickly stale booze smell, not having woken drenched in sweat in the night (i did wake, just not sweating). It's worth cutting down/out just for that.
So do I gugg (love the bus better than AA)
Well done Obrigada that's a great acheivement. Lovely to see all the boingy babes this morning. ma you are determined ma (though I like to think still a little demented ) now purple how do we get you boinging again?
mouse hope you have had some restorative sleep. Dig in, you can and will get through it, one day things will be a little easier honey - I know that seems a long way off right now _ keep dumping here. X
Well done obrigada for wedding. I managed to stay sober at a wedding I went to a few months ago with the help of this bus & it was a bit of a revelation for me. Amazing MA on weight loss and new BMI, all your hard work, abstaining and positivity is paying off. Keep up the determined MA
CAT!!! he is beautifulllll! he's settled in already - having a good old rummage and stretch
All cat news welcomed here
Sounds like he will have his paws firmly under the table by this evening.Lucky you !
Aw purrfect news holly Maybe Smudge can help fend off the wine witch when she comes a calling tonight x
<Sneaks up behind Ma, deftly snatches large fish off her and swiftly replaces it with an air freshener - This bus is starting to whiff!>
Feeling a little better today. Managed to drink a bit less yesterday so slept a little better. Stomach is still angry with me but, again, better than yesterday. I've picked a fight with the kitchen - and won! It's looking sparkly again. Bathroom is half cleaned, hoovering and garden clean up to follow. Poured the half bottle of wine down the sink. Once I've finished the chores I'm going to have a bath, go to the shops and treat myself to a big sir fry later on. DC are back tomorrow morning (rather than the evening as ExP has decided to go to work instead of having his children!) and I thought I'd grab my camera (haven't done much photography for a few weeks now) and take DC to the Botanical Gardens, Cambridge. ExP never takes them anywhere so it'll be a bit of a bonus for them.
Thank you so much to all the beautiful, gorgeous Babes that supported me in the past few days, Ma, Mouse, Joey, Green, Koti, Clutter and Soma and anyone else. xxxx. You can't know how much you have helped me. So, Green, a very small, weak, almost inaudible 'boing' over here. <weak smile>
Well done Obrigada for your control at the wedding. Gugg Peaceful and happy sounds blissful.
(Brief hiatus in typing as I finish off the bathroom! Yeah!)
Soma My ExP and I manage to get on OK and spend 'family days' together. He can be an arse sometimes but mainly we get on. One small word of caution - I think it can be confusing for DC. My 6yo DS2 still asks if Daddy can come on holiday with us! Just have to be explain, a lot! Good luck.
Clutter Best of luck with the job interview. I know what you mean about the school holidays bit.
Well done for the weight loss Ma, that's fab news! Swinging all that fish around probably counted as exercise!
Off for my bath now.
Day 1 (again). I will not drink today.
Afternoon, tis me, Mouse
See that ^ ? That was a smile! I'm smiling because DH did last night's Nemo shift and it was a 4 timer (4 times up to him) but more so, I kept him awake as we've not been in the same bed for weeks so he'd forgotten how much I have to keep moving so I don't get stuck!
Also, he's being an arse because I've just bollocked him for not indicating to let a driver behind know that he was reversing up the drive. He'd go bat shit if someone did that to him!
Now then, I am going to read back a bit and chat to each of you in smaller posts if that's okay, no epic posts today!!
Soma - that would be like me and DD's sperm donor having a birthday tea in her eyes, awkward. Even though our relationship is nowhere near as amicable as your's and your XP, she'd still hate him sharing time with me, just as the 3 of us IYSWIM so I can get that.......
She's mentally separated the two of you because you have separated. In her mind, you're two different parts of her life. Does that make sense? She's happy with the roles you both play, and yes, is probably wondering about the recent split too....... not so much worried, she loves her dad and as you said, you guys have a good relationship aside of DD.
Maybe ask her why it's awkward to her? Ask her out right if she thinks the two of you will get back together or even if she wants that? She's old enough, she is mature enough isn't she? You have a good relationship with her, ask her. Maybe not outright, in a round about way?
Big hugs. xxxx
Ma - you ROCK lady!!!!
Well done on 4 whole days!
Well done on 3 whole lbs!
And well done on taking back you, bit by bit
I absolutely love that Ma I am reading about just now. Kick ass lady xxxx
Clutter - good luck with the interview. I used to be in recruitment and would like to give you a piece of advice if I may?
Be yourself. People buy people. Yep, you might tick all of the boxes on paper but if you won't fit in with the current dynamic/shape of the team/role/department etc... then you won't get the job.
So, relax (as much as you can sweets xx) and have good eye contact. Nice firm handshake, smile and smile some more. Do a list of questions, maybe 3 or 4 about the company or the role but do not ask about salary in the first interview.
Be YOU. The Clutter I know from here (as in the personality side) is lovely. I don;t see you as a Jonny Big Bollocks, I see you as an honest, kind person. I've missed what the job is but it really will boil down to YOU as a person.
If you lack certain training but are the ONE, they will move heaven and earth to have you if you are the perfect person fit xx
Obrigada - (and all of the other awesome Babes who kicked the WineWitch into touch recently at tough events), well done!!!
I can honestly say, hand on heart, that I admire each and every one of you for getting through, especially given recent events........
Gugg - I know you're not nagging, you care which is massively flattering actually. You don; know me from Adam (or Eve) but you care that I'm okay enough to get through the really tough days xx
Greeny - This is my dumping ground, there's nowhere else for it to go and I don't want it to go to my family. Well, maybe DH when he's being an arse.
Yayayayayayayay for a Bus cat, Smudge. I promise to keep our resident wolf ( Seth ) away!!
Purple Now then. You guts are in pieces by the sound of things. Are you taking a good probiotic? You need to be to help encourage the good bacteria to start protecting your body again.
You also need a very good, wide spectrum vitamin and mineral. Something like THIS is ideal. Also Milk Thistle is good to help repair the liver. That and a good, varied diet to help repair your body and also your mind.
The planned trip to the gardens sounds divine. I love places like that. I'm thinking of where to take Nemo later on. He did the park yesterday.......
I'm glad to see that you're drinking less, keep trying to reduce your amounts a bit at a time and you'll soon start to feel as though you can go further.
It's not easy by any means, to stop or cut down but until you get professional,medical help to stop in a controlled way, if you can reduce your intake yourself, and keep posting here for the emotional support, then you are on your way to winning the battle. Starting to take the control back on YOUR terms is much easier in the long run and you'll have more chance of success IMO.
If you say when and how, then you'll want to stick to it. The smaller details like the medication if you go to your GP can be other bits IYSWIM?
<waffling>
What I'm trying to say is that the more YOU CAN DO YOURSELF, the better it will all be if you choose to seek additional help.
Yep, thisnk that's it xxxx
Well done for the cleaning, I found that when I was drinking a lot that I didn;t care so much about food, cleaning, bathing even.
My house is pretty big and hard to keep clean with DH and his lack of understanding where my cleaning OCD is concerned so I did a deep clean yesterday and I'm now going to try and keep on top of it for the next few weeks until I have my freedom from Nemo being at school.
Little bits and often. Although my back and hips are killing me today. My own fault.
Wow, at the rate this thread is going we're going to need a new thread every month!! mouse amazing advice re the job! Thank you & just honestly what I needed to hear. I'm reading and reading policy documents, legislation etc and getting myself in knots thinking I can't take all this is, so unprepared with Christmas hols & all that. Reading your post is so reassuring, your so right, you could have all documents and what not memorised but go in so nervous & you've blown it! I'm going to write down 6 questions they may ask me & know them inside out and have a few questions ready to ask them. And key here is to be relaxed and be myself aw thank you so much for that. So glad to hear that your feeling brighter about things. It can get so hard during holidays. Really hope that your little Nemo settles back into pre-school well & that you find some medication, exercises, whatever it may be that brings you relief from your chronic pain. Huge hugs for you sweetie ((((( ))))) xx
Hi all- been lurking for months now. Can I join the bus please. On day four today as I ruined Christmas for myself due to secret drinking binges, just made me feel awful, so crap and low ((. Determined beyond words to not go there again (for a while).. But at this minute the lure is overwhelming beyond words ((... Help any tips ??
Clutter - you can't change the job description that your future employer has set out, BUT..... when they meet you, they could think 'Hmm, this gal has some pretty good qualities/ideas/potential/experience and we could really use them in X,Y and Z'....
They'll have a job description as such, and you'll have an idea of the kind of job you want. If the two meet in the middle and they like YOU for who YOU are and what you can bring to the Company then great. Happy Days
Keep it simple. I'd make it look like you've done your homework. Take some research material with you (go onto the Company website and print stuff off or make written notes) and take 2 pens (mine always ran out when meeting bloody clients!!) and paper. They'll be making notes so if you want to, why not?
The other thing is, at the end of the interview, ask them when you're likely to hear back from them. It shows that you are interested in the job. They may tell you the procedure, but if not, just ask.
But most of all, enjoy it. It's a chance to shine and you will if you just be yourself and keep it simple.
GO GET UM lovely!! xx
welcome jango and well done for being brave and making the first step!
purple so glad to hear you are feeling better. must have been the wet fish that did it, I reckon.
Day 1 for me, and I'm going for dry January <slight panic at the thought of it>
p.s. has anyone seen dementedma lately, she seems to have completely disappeared, and there's a whirling shiny dervish in her place?!
Thank you lovely Mouse.
Done my shopping (no alcohol purchased). Got myself a cooked chicken and all the stir fry bits and really looking forward to dinner. [grins] The only alcohol in the house is half a quarter bottle of whiskey - I'm not really bothered about whiskey - unless I've already been drinking wine and run out. Still, I think I'll give it back to ExP next time I see him.
I made sure I took my vitamins this morning, along with lots of water, Campral and some paracetamol. I didn't know about the probiotics, thanks, I'll get some tomorrow. Feeling much better now my house is clean and tidy. The state of my house is always an indication of how the inside of my head is.
I decided last night that I wouldn't drink today. Apart from the night sweats and disturbed sleep (and the cravings, obviously), I don't suffer too much if I just stop and moderating just doesn't work for me.
So glad you got a bit of a break! You do sound more 'boingy' today. When is Nemo back at school? A man not indicating?! Surely not?!
Resting and watching TV now. Feeling much more positive. Mwah to all the Babes! xxx
Thank you, too Joey. Wet fish therapy! Day 1 for me too! It's my birthday on Tuesday and the DC are doing a meal for me (with ExP's help, natch!) and I can't say I won't have a glass of wine then but after that, I'm going to try for a dry Jan too. x
Thanks for the welcomes guys !, right I have just tidied the kitchen! gonna hoover in a min- then?? just wish this bloody awful churning that I have in my stomach would go away (((.. Already been out with ds1 (another time passer) It doesnt help that I am dreading DP coming home ( (long story) but lets just say he doesnt help the situation
Welcome Jango, you've come to the right place. Mouse it's lovely to see you smiling again and in fractionally less pain.
Soma my first thought was how different that is to DD, who loves it when we're altogether and wishes we could all live in a huge house as one big blended family... (I had to explain how very very very very big the house would have to be for that to work) My second thought was that she should jolly well suck it up - you and xDH are adults and it isn't up to DD to dictate whether you spend time together. But I agree with wise Mouse that it's well worth doing a bit of subtle digging to uncover what her issue is with it and why it bothers her. Can you probe a bit further into it? All critters ok here, thank you, although the dog hasn't been quite right since she had pancreatitis a few months ago. She's going for vaccinations next week and I'll get them to take bloods as I suspect she's not absorbing her food properly.
I want to say a huge thank you to DeterminedSuperMa for proposing the boot camp. It gave me just the impetus I needed to get back on the bus/roof rack. I'm feeling so much better for four days no booze - stronger and clearer in my mind, brighter, more hopeful and energetic. Less panicky, anxious and irritable. The smell of stale booze isn't permeating the bedroom each morning [boak] and my eyes aren't so puffy. I'm feeling so much better that I'm not going to drink tonight either, apart from the wee glass of dessert wine to go with some naughty pudding. Well it is Saturday...
Right, who's for curry? I find I yearn for spicy food when I'm off the booze, so I've got fragrant kashmiri chicken bubbling away in the slow cooker. I'm going to make saag aloo to go with it, but with jeruselem artichokes as a low GI alternative to the potato. <radical> It'll be served with basmati rice at 7pm; please bring a bottle (of something delightful and non alcoholic, obviously) and form an orderly queue at the door. I'll be booting the lot of you out in time for 9pm though, as it's the new series of Borgen. Anyone watch the first? Be careful parking Gerald outside - the road is very narrow.
Good Late afternoon all I love my cat !!! He is just so friendly and gorgeous and big and shiny and soft and and...squeeee!!! Also feeling really well today. Am kintedning to go swimming at the gym tonight - around 8ish, as it will be empty, I will be sober and it'll help me sleep. Also trying to cut down on eating too much. I'm sucking nicotine lozenges still which are good. Not craving cigs really anymorel but am thinking 'but it's saturday - I should be drinking' a bit. Jango - I'm on day 4 too. I think this bus is the bizzniss 
to you all
'kintending' ?? - kittens and cats on the brain
Hi,
I'm supposed to be studyin... oh sod it- who am I trying to kid? My next essay will be on the babes not the course material.
Gah- I have 2 mins only so won't namecheck but am quite concerned about purple's half cleaned bottom.
mia- yum! Loads for me please. Well done on the 5 days
mouse x
jango eat and drink loads of water and tea. I always need to eat at 4/5 ish when I'm not drinking and it makes a massive difference to my ability to abstain if I don't eat. You won't put on weight if you lat off the booze.
clutter Good luck- I have my fingers crossed for you. best wishes sweetie.
Thanks again- just feeling like ive got too much time on my hands, to think, to dwell, to crave!!! ahhhh, have completely lost my appatite too, v unlike me
at Gugg!! x
Welcome jango sounds like you have been doing lots to keep busy. Could you go & make big dinner to pass the next couple of hours by, then eat, tidy up, have some pudding then this hopefully will help you beat off wicked wine witch for a 5th successful night!! Hope things not too stressful when dp comes home x
Just done my shopping too Purple and didn't even consider going in the wine aisle. I wonder how long that will last You sound more positive, well done. I'm like you, would never consider spirits unless I was already hammered on wine and had run out....Welcome Jango, know what it feels like when the lure is overwhelming. You just have to try and ride it out, minute by minute if necessary. Drink lots of water, eat something sweet, go for a walk, remind yourself constantly how crap you'll feel tomorrow morning if you drink. It can be done!
Mouse thank you for answering my question - I believe you're right, she has mentally separated us and it just feels downright weird when we're all together for too long. I'll do some subtle probing though because I'm intrigued as to why she feels this so strongly. She does still mention how awful if was towards the end of our marriage - me shouting and drinking too much - so maybe she's afraid that will happen again. I'm envious of you Mia and Purple that your DC still want to see their dads as part of the "family" but at least there's no unpleasantness in my set-up.
Well, I've had a day largely free of cravings and have noticed that alcohol hasn't been on my mind so much (usually I think about it CONSTANTLY) and I know I won't pick up now. Sounds like the endorphins are working Ma, I know if I miss my daily walk with the dog it makes me feel sluggish and under the weather although it can be hard to get out in the evenings so I much prefer going in the morning.
Well done purple you can do it girl. Welcome stronger and jango
Thanks Soma It's so nice when someone tells you they did the same alcohol related things as you - makes me feel less loony somehow, less alone. As for ExP and DC situation - I think ours will only work until ExP or I find another partner. ExP is still quite hung up on me and, given half a chance, would like to give it another go so me finding someone else will probably change his attitude somewhat. And, no, there's no chance I would ever go back to him. Well done for avoiding the 'Poison Aisle' in the supermarket. x
Thanks Green Had dinner with family and a nice glass of water! Kept busy by preparing veg for tomorrow's Sunday lunch.
SUPER-Ma you are sounding great - I can see your fire and enthusiasm glowing from here
Thanks venus that's really helpful, really like the Plan, Do, Review, like having things structured & clear! Starting to feel really nervous, don't know if it's worse cause I've been off work for 2 weeks so double whammy! Like your advice about strengths, what sort of thing do you think is good to say as weakness, obviously it's personal but don't want to say something that then they think "oh, right don't want you then!' hope everyone managing to beat ww tonight
Jango -welcome.
Nope, you don't have to 'sit there whilst he guzzles it down'.
Go have a candle lit bath. Go to do something. Ignore him and get a soft drink............. Ignore the booze. Even though you want to drink. Could you just try?
Or, join him. It's up to you. No-one is saying that you have to stop drinking tonight and you came here because you wanted to stop the cycle sweetheart, but there's no quick fix to this.
He can't make you do anything. I get a very un-nerving feeling about your relationship with him and that's only from a few posts....
Are you okay?
Talk to us. xx
Poor you, Jango. Can you disappear and have a bath or read/watch TV in your bedroom?
Hi,
Phew- had big,big,big wine cravings here but I coped (badly and only just) but i have. I'm ok now. Usually I cave in. Off to tuck ds up in bed without breathing wine fumes all over him. sometimes he asks what I'm drinking and I hide the glass behind my back.Trying hard to be a better mum but the wine cravings are hard.
Well actually the ww can fuck right off now. Anyone want me to give her a kick?
purple the botanics are gorgeous- enjoy.
Hi all,
Hello makeme Welcome to the bus .
I've been a bit of an intermittent poster of late, for various reasons, but had a very bloody day today, and have given myself some time!!!
I'm still trying to digest the loads of c**p that my tutor related about my course today!
Think I am in a fraudulent and malpractice situation, b**dy hell 2 and a half years work seems like going down the drain!
Aaaaaargh!!!
Ma you wonder, send over some of what you're on!!!
Mrsmousie love, as always.
Can I come back more often next week?
Xxxxxxxxxxxx
Clutter - great post from the lovely venus!! I'd forgotten the strengths and weaknesses bit as I always hated being asked that one!
Soma - I do think that you should try to unravel the real reason. But I also think that she's still bruised after the fighting which is really bloody hard on you to hear sweets, , but it happened. She has to process that. Two people who she loves and who love her unconditionally, are no longer together.
Life as she knew it became no more one day, then the fall out and the moving on/moving in.... she's tough, she's got you written all over her which is a huge credit to you darling but also she has seen what drinking does to you and is most likely scared that her father separating from his partner/wife means more fights between the two of you which in turn = more drinking and drunk mum.
She's seen her DF with another woman, part of another family too which is hard. My DD is the same. Her sperm donor has put his new family before her for a number of years.... she doesn't give a shite. He's a twat and she accepts that.
All you can do is reassure her that you are not that person anymore. YOU ARE NOT!! You have to keep the communication lines open and talk. Talk about anything. Everything. Talk. You know her, you know that when she's quiet, she's upset. She could be my DD in lots of ways.......
My DD witnessed my abuse first hand. The hitting, the screaming, the throwing me out in the night with nothing more than knickers on. She was stood at the foot of the stairs.
It's taken her YEARS to trust DH even a tiny amount. We've been together almost 8 years. She'll never fully trust that he won't hurt me. And that breaks my heart because I put her in that position with my XP.
Just keep things light and open. Movie? Girls night in and maybe a film based around family? I don't know. I'm not really one for relationship advice but I want you to know that I'm here for you if you want to talk about DD, given that they are similar in age.
Big mwahs xxxxx
Gugg - we can all relate to that. Don;t beat yourself up, it;s early days and you will get there of you want to my lovely....... big hugs xx
Thurso!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mwah and squidge in that order. Sorry life is a bit shite right now xxx
Holly - great mindset! I'm loving it! xx
Right, I'm outta here for the night. Dinner is ready, Nemo is ready for bed and DD has a friend over. It's movie night too.
Stay strong Brave Babes, lots of love to you all. Keep going, a tiny moment at a tiny time.
YOU CAN DO THIS, if you want to xxx
Night all. xx
Would only encourage him Ma
Mouse your DD has a wonderful, compassionate, intelligent mum who had a shite time (I can't bear to think of you being thrown outside in your underwear ) and I hear everything you say. My DD is a complex child and questions everything but has, I believe, a good head on her shoulders. As you say, keeping communication open is very important.
Purple, we're probably all a bit loony and I for one feel a little flawed but by god we're full of life and passion AND compassion. Let's just try and smile when we remember some of the things we've done when drinking and not be too hard on ourselves. The only thing that matters now is that we've woken up and aren't afraid to face up to what our lives might become if we don't get a grip.
I know I'm going on a bit - but have put a couple of snaps of Smudge the Podge on my profile he's getting a bit twitchy at the moment - think it's because it's night time he can't settle and is miawing a bit...
Mouse That's shocking! So glad you had the courage to get out of it. You are such a loving, giving person that I'm totally sure, with your help, she'll be fine. Sending you a hug for your past pain.
Soma I have to say that whilst I'm pretty ashamed of lots of stupid things I've done whilst on the wine, there are the occasional things that have made me laugh.
Had my delicious stir fry, am going to treat myself to another relaxing bath before an early night. Since the corner shop is shut and I won't be going out (now that I have my PJ's on ) I have beaten the wine witch for today. Feeling much better, just a little tired.
So looking forward to seeing my DC tomorrow now and I'm really pleased to get an unexpected extra day with them. Have plotted the journey for tomorrows visit. I'll use the Park And Ride. The DC will love that! They're always asking if we can go on the bus! (We never do) Funny lot.
Going to log off now and go and have a soak. Good night and love and strength to everyone and thanks, again. xxx
Welcome new babes
mouse Ta love- early days of sobriety for me. Like the sound of that, could do with it being a little easier though. I want to go to a meeting on monday and I reminded myself that if I drank I would have to 'fess up. I'm such a coward that that kept me straight.
thurso you must feel stabby,bet you've worked really hard. Write down and keep a copy of any dodgy info the tutor hands out. It's not right that your hard work should be affected by the tutor's poor teaching.
makeme the board is great, read back over a few hundred threads. The wine witch is the creature who shows up in the evening and sticks her icy fingers into you. She wants you to drink. We want to kick her icy ass.
curry easy, take out the Larkin poetry and put the laundry down
holly I've just been and had a look at Smudgie's photos, hope you don't mind. What a lovely, handsome boy he is. Kind of envy you going off to bed with him and your kindle. My little cat isn't allowed upstairs because she prances about maiowing at 4 in the flipping morning.
Morning brave babes, woke up with ds with no hangover on a Sunday which feels great, altho if he could sleep past half 6 sure I would feel better! thurso what an awful situation, is there no way another tutor could look over everyone's work & salvage the situation someway? purple well done for beating wicked ww, hope you had a nice relaxing evening & have a lovely day with your dc today MA well done in sobriety & boot camp, I've not weighed in yet but feel I've not been so good as overcompensating for not drinking & still being in hols, starting for proper tomorrow. holly had a wee sneaky peak at Smudge, he looks a gorgeous boy, hope first night went well.
mouse hope things continue improve for you & all in the mouse house. I can totally relate to where you are coming from with exp. I was in very similar destructive relationship before having my dd & then this continued once she was born. Was I had her something snapped & I left exp when dd was 1, so so glad, can't begin to think how awful our lives would be had we stayed. Now tho my dd (13) seems to think her df is great & me & my dh have to impose rules, curfews etc so we come across as the bad ones at times. So hard at times.
Hope all babes managed ok last night either beating the ww or whatever is right for them.
Arghh have complete dread for work tomorrow & interview at 8:30!
So glad you had a lovely birthday treat Koti. Hope you have a lovely day today xx
Clutter sorry to hear of your past struggles. I understand what you mean about having to be 'the bad' guys. Me too. ExP lets them eat loads of sweets (yet it's me that has to take them to the dentist!), lets them stay up late and swerves the responsibility of getting them to do homework. Deep sigh. But I'd rather have them for 90% of the time and have the extra work at being The Big Stick. Time will judge. Kids work these things out for themselves in the end.
Green Try not to worry about your eating whilst you are ill Lovely. It's more important to feed yourself and get better. If you are feeling dreadful you need to be nice to yourself.
Well, I had a horrendous night. Firstly couldn't get to sleep, despite taking Night Nurse, I was still looking at the clock at about 2pm, and then only 'napped' on and off all night. Whilst napping, I had the worst sort of dreams. At one point I was dreaming that there was a man standing over me on my bed! Woke up feeling really scared. I often (whether drinking or not) get really vivid dreams so not worried that I was hallucinating because as soon as I was properly awake I knew it was just a dream. Plus, got the most awful 'sweats', they are disgusting! Still, tonight should be better. Will get some Kalms or something. I've decided to switch days around and use today to get Christmas decs away and all school stuff sorted and take DC out tomorrow. I'm too tired today to enjoy a day out properly and I don't want to spoil the outing by being grumpy and shouty.
Well, DC have just arrived home. I got the biggest cuddles. Bit sad as the arrangement had been that I was supposed to be having a birthday meal on Tuesday with DC (and ExP) but not now apparently. On the up-side, I think it's because DD has badgered ExP into buying my an iPod Classic for my birthday and now he's broke!! Still, didn't really want to be sitting on my own on my special day <pouts like small child> Managed to give him back the whiskey, though!
Ho hum. Off to organise last minute homework (DD), present putting away (DSs) and clearing the last of Christmas away 'til next year.
Happy Sunday to everyone! xxxxxxx
only day 2 and already I'm wavering.
we appear to be living in a bug-infested house. DDs bedroom crawling with tiny critters. I know alcohol won't help, but it would help take my mind off it for a bit...for anyone interested in the awful details I started a thread in childrens health.
woken up at the crack of dawn (well, 8am ) on a sunday by a hysterical DD...
oops, cross post making me look exceedingly smug about my good kip, so sorry guys
joey you keep talking about controlled drinking but recently your posts sound more like you are drinking more often than you really want to. So if you don't want to drink today can you take it right back to basics, my lovely?
Make that decision. Don't think about next week, tomorrow or even this evening. In fact, don't think about it at all. As soon as that voice goes in your ear, bat it straight out again. Stick your fingers in your ear and go la la la if you have to (I have done that before, believe me).
If you are ever going to drink again, you can make that decision later, or another day. Just stay with the moment and the cravings will pass.
Remember, drinking never really makes us feel better, it just makes us better are coming up with creative 'reasons' to excuse it x
Thurso I read that book The Slap and I thought it put me right of Australians (or at least suburban Australia). It's not like they portray it in those Home or Away property programmes. I didn't really like any of the characters.
Well done all those who got through Saturday night, the weekend is nearly behind us.
< passes round halos for polishing >
Today is 'See the Results Sunday' - how do you feel about drinking/not drinking. Any impact on physical and/or mental health yet? It's time to take stock of the week and decide what to do differently (or the same) next week.
Morning, tis me, Mouse
Sorry to read that some of the Babes have germ or critter infested houses and children!
Holly - how was Smudge? I love kittens, they are so cute. If they stayed kittens, I'd be grand. I don't do cats
<says she as she watches Mabel, our cat walking across the garden fence>
She's an outdoor cat, love it in the country as she has 'fresh meat' on tap . Poor wee mices.
Clutter - I posted under a different name last year in the We Believe You MN rape campaign and was even interviewed by The Independent. I wanted to tell part of my story to show others out there that you CAN survive what life throws at you, if you get out in time. By that, I mean get out when you know that if you don't, you might not.
I will feel guilty for putting a very young DD through all of that for the rest of my life. I can;t take any of those memories or vi