Mumsnet Talk

How old were you when you felt ready for marriage? And how long had you been with your partner?

Just curious

30, 6 years

Thinking of getting hitched?

Married at 25, we'd been together a little over a year. I don't know when I first felt ready for marriage though, DH was the only fool man to ask me to marry him.

Got married at 23.

Got engaged after 6 weeks of getting together! (To be fair we had been friends for a long time).

We were engaged for 18 months.

Three kids and many years later and we are still love the bones of each other.

Aged 30, together 7 years.
Been married 12 years now.

First time round was engaged at 22, married at 24, divorced at 29, way too young.

This time round married at 34, better

20, together two years before then.

I was 31 when we got married, but 30 when I felt ready for it and when we got engaged.

Meant to add first time round we'd been together 2 years when we got engaged.

This time we got married on our second anniversary.

Still absurdly happy 16 years since tying the knot.

Together at 16, engaged at 17, married at 18. Had DCs at age 20 and 23. 25 now and still happily married

I was 28. Were together just under a year before hand.

Been married 8 years next year, still going strong!

Good age for me, left having kids til over 30 so we had good few years of just us.

We got together just before my 25 birthday, got engaged at 28 and married 16months later, been married 2.5 years now.

I was 32 when I got married. We'd been together for 8 years.

I was 35, DH was 46, we'd been together nine years. No point rushing these things

We'd been together for 22 months when we got married, engaged for 14 of those! Wedding day was the day before my 21st. Right from the start of the relationship we knew where it was heading - neither of us was looking for anything less than forever! Boak 5 years on & we're preparing for DC2's arrival next year!

Engaged at 21, married at 22, got together at 18. Felt ready for marriage the day I met him!

We met when I was 16, married when I was 23. DD1 born a year later, DD2 another two years later. DH is only 2 years older than me, I love that we've 'grown up' together.

Engaged at 26
Married at 29

We had been together four years when we got married.

Married at 23 after dating for 18 months and 21 years later we are still happy !

We got together when I was 21 (a couple of weeks away from turning 22), Dh was 21. Engaged about 9 months later. Married when I was 23, dh 22. So been together about 18 months. Been married 8 years.

I was 26 when I got married, dh 29. We had been together since I was 17 and he was 20.
We were engaged for 6 years though! Been married for the same length of time now and have 3 DC :-)

Also married at 23 after 8 months engagement and dating 1 year before that. Happily married 26 years now

27. 34 before kids and then I wasn't sure! Still am not, 2nd nearly here now.....

47
had been together 16 years.

Just shy of 29 when i married.
We got married 1yr 3 weeks after we met.
But we got engaged after three months. I just knew he was the one.

First time engaged at 17, married at 20, divorced by 25. It was a bad idea from the start. He was abusive before we even got married, but I was young and thought it was a one two, three, four, five... off.

I'm getting married next month for the second time. We've been together 2 1/2 years and engaged 4 months. I'm now 35 and hopefully wiser than I was half my life ago! I did not feel ready for marriage again, or even a long-term relationship, until I met DP.

met in december 97, married in march 98.

I was 24 or 25. can't remember. I could work it out but I can't be arsed

He's 10 years older than me.

We met when I was 21, luved together full time when I was 22, married when I was 26 (he was 28) after a 12mth engagement.

I met DH when we were 16y. We stayed together through university, although went to different universities. Lived together after than. Got engaged the first Christmas of living together and married 18 months later.

So we were together for 8 years when we were married; we were both 25y at the time. Felt right.

Lived together! Although there was much luving 4 children, a dh working away and almost 13 years of marriage has reduced the amount of luving we can squeeze in these days mind

Got together at 20, living together 6 months later, engaged a year later, married a year after that (at 23).

We got married at 27, about right for me, was ready about a year before but it took a year to get things organised. We'd been together 3 years before that

21 we had been together almost 2 years

Met at 23, married at 35, DS at 37. Just woke up one day at 34 and marriage just felt right. 14 years together, 2 1/2 of those married. Ignored all the bastards who said "hmm, friends of ours were together 8 years, got married, divorced after one year". Yeah, cheers for that

I was 23, he was 28. We'd been together for 8 years and engaged for about 5.

Met March 08 age 35, engaged June 08, married Aug 09 at the age of 36. Tbh i have always been ready for marriage i just had to find the right one was with exp 12 yrs before that but knew he wasn't a keeper despite having DD together.

I was 26 and he was 32. We lived together for 5 years before that and have been together now for 30 years - marrried for 25

Met at 17
Engaged at 18
Married at 19
DS 1 at 23
DS 2 at 26
Last anniversary 23 happy years (mostly)

Met @ 16,
1st DD @ 18,
2nd DD @ 19,
married @ 25,
3rd DD @ 27,

Every year tops the one before, he still makes me feel like he did the day i met him even after 11 years

Thought I felt ready for marriage in my early twenties, so pressured my then bf to propose and panicked and ran off the minute the ring was on my finger. Not my finest hour.

Did a lot of growing up over the next few years and then got together with DH when I was 27. Slow and steady this time, and he proposed, to my huge delight, after we'd been together three years. Married one year later when I was 31. Now have 2 DC and very content indeed.

engaged at 21--together 4 years by then. married at 23 but would have been sooner if we had the support of our DP's who felt we were to young. Had DD1 at 24 and now waiting the arrival of GC1

Love the fact that we have grown up together and grown ever closer over the years. He is truly my other half.

I was 18 and dh is older.

engaged within 3 weeks, engaged for 22 months.

Were married 6 years and split for 6 months (2008). Realised we didn't want anyone else and been together since.

We are actually so much happier now than we were before. Its like a new marriage.

Been together 6 years have been married for 2 years got married when I was 24.

28 been together 10 years.

Met at 26 engaged within 6 months married a year later and been married 25 years this year

Met at 17, got engaged at 18, got married at 25.

I would have married him sooner after we got engaged but we didn't have the money we needed for the wedding I wanted.

I was 11 weeks pg when we married :-) DD1 born when I was 26; DD2 when I was 29.

I was 27 dh 29 engaged 6 weeks after getting togethor married 9 months later, married for 18 years.

Hell, I'll have to ask - he does the romance and date stuff .... apparently I was 26 when we got together, married 18 months later, first DC 18 months after that.

Seems average.

Met at 18. Married at 21. DS1 at 23, DS2 at 25, DS3 at 32. Still together and very happy at 45. DH is 2 years older than i am. Silver Wedding next year.

Engaged at 25 after 2 years, married at 26, separated at 29 and divorced at 31.

Married my lovely second husband at 38 after being together 4 years. We're still very much together.

Been together 16 years, married for 11 of those, got married at 20.

Married at 25 after having been together 6.5 years. Could have been married 1 year in, knew for certain 2 years in.

I wanted to get married when I was 17. Had been going out for 3 years. I was sure I was ready, my parents told me I wasn't and to be honest they were right. We got married 2 years later and I was ready then. Still together 22 years later, nearly 23.

Got married just before 31. Knew I would marry DH the night I met him and we were both going out with other people. It just hit me and two and a half months later he phoned (when you looked up people's numbers in the phone book because you remembered where they said they worked) me and asked me out. That was nearly 25 years ago and we have been married for 22 years. No doubts whatsoever, ever.

I met my dh when I was 18, he was 19.

We got engaged when we were both 23

We married at 24.

I can't decide if I was "ready" or not, but as we're still happily married 18 years later, it seems to have been a good decision.

We didn't live together before we were married (don't know if that is relevant) and our first dc came along after just over 5 years married (we now have 3).

we were both 24, we'd met 9 months earlier & moved in together after second date when we'd known each other for 3 days then decided to get married a day later. Slightly impulsive

That was 15 years ago - been though graduating, first jobs, buying houses, illness, pregnancy & birth (x lots), bereavement, money problems, four children, disability etc - and we're still mostly going strong

Aww these are all lovely stories <gets warm mushy feeling>

Married within 2 years of meeting, aged 32 (nearly 33). Was no way ready before but then hadn't met the right guy either

Okay, I wasn't just curious... DP and I have joked about marriage/"our wedding" and talked seriously about our future loads of times, and I've felt, often, that he's someone I could easily share my life with and absent-mindedly imagined my future containing him. I can't really explain it, it's a weird feeling. But lately he's started talking more seriously about marriage and I'm a bit and feeling "but I'm not ready!" - I feel like I haven't had enough time at being a grown up yet

We're both 24 and have been together just over 2 years but I spent from age 18-21 in an abusive relationship and feel almost like I lost those 3 years and my "real" adulthood started some time after that.

It's not really up for discussion as I'll be ready when I'm ready and he doesn't mind waiting but it just freaked me out slightly that he suddenly does seem ready and I'm not.

I think what's making it even more confusing in my head is that I've accepted two marriage proposals before but those were both me being young and silly and "Hahaha, yes, let's get married, that will be fun/that's what you do in a relationship". I have a 4yo DS from previous relationship too. But this is marriage and it's a big deal and I can't quite believe somebody wants that from me.

Met when I was 16, started dating at 18, he proposed at 20 and married at 21.

Am now 35 and we are very together.

If you are a not ready, you are not ready.

22 we had been together two years.

We knew we would get married after our first "date", ok it did last all weekend.

Married at 21 he was 25
Had been together a year and 1 week grin]

Been married now 6 years with 3 DS

He proposed after been together 9 weeks and I found out I was pregnant with DS1 2 week later

Met when I was 18, he was 19.
DS born when we were 34 & 35.
DD born 37 & 38.
Married at 39 & 40... on our 21st anniversary.

Nowt like making sure!

28, been together 4 years. We would probably have waited longer - we were happy as things were, but I needed a visa!

Got married at 20. Together for 5 yrs prior. Celebrate 20 next year!

Together 6 years before DH proposed, we were both 29.
I think I was ready sooner, but we wanted to be financially stable before we married and weren't before then.
Didn't exactly live together beforehand, didn't exactly not either: DH moved in officially about four months before the wedding, if I remember rightly.

We were married about two years before DD arrived, which was nice. Most girls I worked with at the time were desperate for 'honeymoon babies', which wasn't really for us. Now feels about right to be settled (though I miss the travelling aspect at the mo - having a DC and backpacking on a shoestring doesn't really compute)

Married at 24, been together for 4 years prior, dd born 2 yrs after wedding, ds 4 yrs after, and have been married for 17yrs.

Met when I was 29, married three years to the day after he first asked me out! Very happy - although I'm awake as I've a killer sore throat and he made WAY too much noise leaving for the airport to go on a business trip at 4 am.......not happy right now!

Met when I was 16, he was 26 (I know, I know). 2.5 yrs dating, I went off abroad and to uni - we had 4 years on/off relationship. Back together again at 22. Moved in together when I was 23, DD1 aged nearly 30, DD2 at 31, married at 33, DD3 at 33. Now 35 and can't believe we'll be having our sort of/ slightly complicated 20 year anniversary next year!

Met at 33, engaged 5 months later, married 9 months after that, expecting DC1 any day (married 6 months).

We were both just ready, so didn't see any point hanging about!

Starting dating at 18, moved in together at 21, engaged at 28, bought our house at 29, married at 31, DS at 33... Now 35.

We've been together for 17 years, I can't quite believe that I've been with my husband for just under half my entire life.

I was 20 the first time. I didn't feel ready but I did it anyway. We had been together a very long time and marrying me was his way of trying to cling on to a dying relationship, and I didn't have the courage to walk away and be on my own. It lasted two and half years.

Got married the second time at 26. Very ready, very committed, no regrets. Although if I could turn back the clock I would have liked to have a couple more years to be young, free and single before I met DH2, but life isn't like that.

Been married 20 years.

Together four years then got married at 26. DS a year later, DD six years after that. Been married 15 years, together 20.

Not sure if I'm ready now as it all sounds too grown up for me as I still feel like I'm 17 on the inside

I've been married for 2 months, I am 33. I find the phrase 'ready for marriage' a bit odd, as if it was the inevitable aim in a woman's life and I was just too immature for it earlier! I've never really longed to get married, never fantasised about weddings, and would have been happy to continue in a non-married (non-cohabiting) relationship. But due to various property/immigration etc laws, it seemed appropriate for us at the time. There is no point getting married just because it's the thing to do, you have to be sure that it's the right thing for you, for whatever reason.

When you have a dc from a previous relationship (like I did), I think you do have to think more carefully about it - it changes quite a lot of things, including financial obligations and it's important to get expectations clarified.

Think have always been "ready for marriage" which I see more as understanding marriage and what it means, don't feel i have to be prepared to stay married at all costs just aware of the implications of divorce also that the reason for marrying being protection for yourself and children means you have to feel sure of longevity and commitment to a certain extent.

Avoided marriage to abusive xp because l understood it, met dh at 23 when I had two small dc, got together after 6 months, had long distance relationship. When he moved up here 7 months after that, and needed to move in, I insisted we would need to have joint account (as I would lose my benefits and be dependent on him) and get engaged or else we should continue as we were until ready. We bought a house a month later and we married 4 months after that 18 months after meeting and a year after starting the relationship.

I don't think I would be married if I hadn't had two small dc but that's more because of how society discriminates against women and especially unmarried mothers than because I am unhappy being married to dh. I would prefer a different more free life but have tried to do right by dc. If I hadn't met anyone I felt worth sacrificing my freedom for I don't think I would have married, if dh wasn't right then I wouldn't have let him move in and would have continued as I was and carried on studying at that time rather than interrupting it to get married and have a baby (or more accurately twins) with dh.

Met DH at 21, knew within weeks that he was the one and we'd be together forever - for me that has always meant marriage. Fortunately DH felt the same (about me and about marriage!) Got engaged at 22 and married at 24. His Mum was expecting an engagement announcement after 8 months so it wasn't just us who thought it was on the cards

engaged at 19 married at 20. together now for 4 years. still happy two kids later.

31/ 9 months more than ready

We were together for ten years (living together for 8 of them) before and recently celebrated thirty years of very happy marriage.

Met at 17, bought flat at 20, bought house and got married at 25. Did the decision to purchase house (with room for a family) rather than a shoebox flat mean I was ready for marriage? God knows, but we did start a family 2 years later. I don't think there was a clear 'I'm ready' moment, looking back we both wish we had done some things differently - however, the different things would have been joint things, done together, so we suspect the end result would have been the same, and are working on doing the different things now!
The end result: 28 years together, 20 married, following the Lennon philosophy - 'life is what happens to you when you're busy making other plans'.

Married at 23 (a fact which I forgot, until I had to scan my marriage certificate earlier for my new residence visa)

Got together 2 days before my 21st. Engaged on 1st anniversary. Married less than 2 years later.

He moved in to my house after 6 weeks. Marriage just felt like it was going to happen and it just did.

5th anniversary on Saturday

i was 20 yrs old when i got married...we knew each other 4 months before we got married....we are married almost 17 years now

Engaged at 25, married at 26,been married for 11.5 years and very happy.

Met at 18 (me) 19 (him). First year of uni for me. I went to Spain for a year, plodded on, moved in together at 23. Engaged at 26. Married at 27. First child at 30. Second child at 34.
I still don't feel ready. My subconscious still believes I'm 17. I feel very odd when people refer to me as Mrs JelliBotti and I can't believe I'm trusted with small children ALONE! I am actually 'mummy'.
Think that's just me though. I did think 'so soon?!' when he proposed, but I suppose as someone else said, it was because we had grown up together and still felt very much like friends on an adventure rather than an old married couple.

Married at 29; we had been together just over a year. TBH I didn't feel at all ready to get married at that age.

Married at 23, we where together 6 months when we got engaged, married within 7 months. I new when I picked him up for our first date I'd marry him

30, after 10 years together. It was about the same time we decided we wanted to try for a baby (which was the main reason for getting married really). We got married 3 months after deciding we wanted to.

I don't think there was a definite 'ready' moment for me either. It had been 10 years and I was in no doubt about whether we wanted to be together. It was just that when we decided to start a family we thought it might be sensible to get the legal paperwork sorted out sooner rather than later.

And there wasn't anything to be 'ready' for really. Life after marriage is pretty much the same as before

Met at 20 (friends)
Together at 21
Engaged at 22
Married at 23
First Child together at 24

We are fast movers and so in love that we couldnt imagine waiting to commit to each other. Whats the point in waiting silly amounts of time when you know that its right, one of us could get knocked over by a bus tomorrow! You have to grab love when you can.

Got married at 24, exactly one year and two days later than our first date.

Got engaged 4 months after meeting

Been married 7 months and have a 3 month old baby

Met at 18, engaged and married at 24.
First child at 28, second child at 30. We are both now 47.

Oh lord, I've just realised that we will have been together 30 years this year. There have been ups and downs of course but I love the very bones of him.

Married at 20. Husband was 26.

Been happily married for 28 years.

Aged 27 been together 4 years before. Been married 12 years .

Really wish there was an edit feature on this site.

We were friends before we went out with each other.
Dated for 3 months and then engaged for 3 months.
We both just knew we were right for each other.

Married on our 6th anniversary when I was 26 after a 9 month engagement. Had been wanting it for the previous 4-ish years!

First discussed permanency/marriage after about 6 months, informally engaged after a year, formal announcements after another 6 months, wedding 6 months after that (so about 2 years total). I was 26 when we married, 3xchildren in my 30s, still together.

Married at 27 we had been together for five years. We have now been married for nearly four years and together for nine.

Broke off an engagement to be with now wife in 1973 at 22 years old. Hardest thing I have ever had to do but we married in 1976 and have had a great time since (well most of the time). Agree with other posters about growing up together and married life being an adventure. I tell her all the time that the best thing I ever did in my life was to marry her.

We got married at 26 after being together for 8 years.

As for how did I know I was ready - I just wanted to be with her all the time, so I thought the best thing was to marry her. Fortunately she agreed!

I was 35 DH was 34. We'd been together 2 years.

married at 30 (10 years ago) together 17 years, engaged within 2 months of meeting (long engagement). He was THE one, still is 4 kids later (expecting #5 this year).

We are a great team, lots of mutal respect and we love each other (puke!)

23, got married after 9 years together and now been married for 4.5 years and still very happy

21. Six weeks. Still together ten years, two DCs and two mc later.

Should say, that's six weeks from the first words we spoke to one another.

Engaged at 25
Married at 27
Together now for 9 years!

met when I was 20, engaged six weeks later and married at 22.

still happily together 25 years and 2DDs later.

35 - but I'd been married 9 years at that stage. I knew he was a good man and that if I said NO I would be making a bad decision but I was not ready to get married. I spent my weeding day & honeymoon thinking WHAT HAVE I DONE?? but you know, 15 years on I believe I made the right decision and I have not got a reputation for doing that generally! We had been together 5 years before we got married. So 20 years this year. WOW! I don't feel old enough for that!!

Married for nine years in October, been together 11 years come July, got engaged after a week,,,
Got married a little over a year later,
Our children are nine and four.5

Forgot to mention I'm 30 in August...,
And met at the age of 18...

Met when I was 23, he was 33.
Engaged after 8 years
Married 9 months
Together 10 years at the end of this month!