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Condom found in DH wallet

(36 Posts)
RaraLala Thu 06-Dec-12 16:50:14

Hi this is the first time that I have posted on here but I don't know where to turn. Two weeks ago I found a condom in DH's wallet (I was looking for some stamps) I am on the pill and we have no need for these. I have no idea what to do now and whether I should confront him or let sleeping dogs lie.

elfycat Thu 06-Dec-12 16:55:40

When is the expiry? Could be from a long time ago and forgotten about.

Kyte Thu 06-Dec-12 16:56:41

What elfycat said. Have you ever used condoms?

BeataNoxPotter Thu 06-Dec-12 16:56:44

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ohfunnyface Thu 06-Dec-12 16:58:01

Look at the expiry.

I'd have to ask.

BOFingSanta Thu 06-Dec-12 16:59:54

People really don't put condoms in other people's wallets, truly, they don't. But it could have been in there for a long time.

BOFingSanta Thu 06-Dec-12 17:00:50

(the other daft suggestion will be "posh wank". Again, nah, doesn't happen.)

AlienRefucksLooksLikeSnow Thu 06-Dec-12 17:01:38

Yes, have you looked in his wallet before? how long have you been together etc. Is a normal single bloke thing, so could have been there ages.

Spons Thu 06-Dec-12 17:05:18

Think you've got to just ask him, how long have you been together? Could have been in there longer than you have been together?

Santa- know what you're saying, and not quite the same but on a friends stag do, one 'lad' put condoms in his 'friends' suitcase as they were coming home, knowing it would cause an almighty row with his (already known for being jealous) girlfriend. Some people are awful, but putting in wallet would be going a bit far.

AnyFuckerForAMincePie Thu 06-Dec-12 17:06:56

Why would you not tackle this ? I don't understand it when people consider letting "sleeping dogs lie".

Would you generally shut your mind to anything in that case ?

That takes some humungous disassociation to that...effectively brainwashing yourself.

There is an explanation for this, OP, I don't see how you could rest easy until you find out what it is.

Mu1berries Thu 06-Dec-12 17:07:45

Look in a few weeks and see if the same condom is still there, or a different one. I don't think there is an innocent explanation for PUTTING a condom in your wwallet though (in his shoes). I wouldn't shrug over his wanting to be an opportunistic shagger.

hf128219 Thu 06-Dec-12 17:08:33

Golly our local railway station hand them out at Christmas time. It's just one in a small padded envelope. I thought it was a free tea bag!

Ask him.

Lavenderhoney Thu 06-Dec-12 19:29:35

2 weeks ago?! Thats a long time to be worried. I would ask him. Is he away a lot, what does he do during lunch hours?

Also, what's the expiry date on it? It could have been there for years. But tbh I doubt it. Get him a wallet for Christmas and see if he puts one in it. Did you do a search for the other one, don't they come in packs?

What do you think yourself op, is he playing away?

ledkr Thu 06-Dec-12 19:35:06

Good grief ask him!
I admire your self control tbh, if I found a condom in dh's wallet I'd track him down to where he was at that moment and screech at him like a fishwife and demand to know wtf it was doing there. If he didn't have a feasible response I'd pack his friggin bags for him.

MadAboutHotChoc Thu 06-Dec-12 19:37:00

Two weeks?! why leave it so long?

How are things with him? has his behaviour changed? distant/critical? possessive with his phone/laptop?

EdithWeston Thu 06-Dec-12 19:37:20

Have you been checking upon him in other ways in the past two weeks? Found out anything else?

MadAboutHotChoc Thu 06-Dec-12 19:37:28

Is the condom still there?

Dish it up on a plate in front of him next time you get a chance to look in his wallet, see what his reaction is. He has to be carying it for a sexual reason, unless he is in the SAS , think they carry water in them.

BelaLugosisShed Thu 06-Dec-12 19:46:18

Has anyone else noticed how there is a "found condom" thread approximately every 3/4 months on here and they are never, ever, resolved?
It started around 4 years ago and it's very odd.

GinSoakedMu1berryLush Thu 06-Dec-12 21:00:21

hf12189, nothing to do with a condom here, but you always had great sleb gossip. have you any ? i feel like a bit of speculation and sleb gossip. it's the gluvein, has me all in the mood for shock shock over the slebs' antics.

RaraLala Fri 07-Dec-12 10:18:19

Well I confronted DH last night about it (had a couple of glasses of Rose to build up the courage). He said that it was an old one from when we started dating three years ago. I have to take him at his word although stupidly I forgot to check the expiry date. He did seem very defensive though but this may have been because of the subject of our conversation.

AlienRefucksLooksLikeSnow Fri 07-Dec-12 10:22:06

Schoolboy error rara what now? you happy with that? Genuine question.

ledkr Fri 07-Dec-12 10:25:25

Hmmmm that wouldn't satisfy me I'm afraid. Check date ASAP

bradyismyfavouritewiseman Fri 07-Dec-12 10:27:35

Why don't you ask him to show you it?

Tbh I found a condom in handbag I hadn't used since me and dh were first together.
dh doesn't know which bags I do and don't use.

ClippedPhoenix Fri 07-Dec-12 10:49:07

Hmmmm, I'd be watching him like a hawk now.

GinSoakedMu1berryLush Fri 07-Dec-12 12:28:48

Did it seem three years old? you could tell. If the circle could really clearly be seen on the outside then maybe it had been in his wallet for a while? did it still seem quite 'puffed out'. I think you could tell whether it had been there a short while or a long while.

RaraLala Tue 11-Dec-12 12:15:53

I am still suspicious so I check his wallet again but could not find the condom. I should have thought about the blinking expiry date earlier.

He has been going out a lot more lately with friends from work. I have never really met his work friends and don't know what they are like or even their gender.

I am keeping a close eye on him at the moment.

MadAboutHotChoc Tue 11-Dec-12 15:29:23

How is his behaviour at home? does he seem distant? has he been picking petty arguments?

peeriebear Tue 11-Dec-12 15:32:05

Surely he has either cleared out or replaced his wallet in those three years?

OneMoreGo Tue 11-Dec-12 17:55:27

He's lying.

he shouldn't be defensive, he should be gutted you are feeling worried and fretting over nothing, and delighted to reassure you instantly and put you at your ease. Coupled with him going out a lot more lately, I'd be intensely wary.

Jemma1111 Tue 11-Dec-12 18:03:03

There's only two possible reasons he had the condom in his wallet. 1) He's already shagging someone else. 2) He intends to go shagging someone else. Sorry

tiredofwaitingforitalltochange Tue 11-Dec-12 21:09:01

I don't think carrying a condom is necessarily worrying. I had a bf years ago who always carried a condom in his wallet. It was habit and the same one was still there a year later. I wasn't worried about it.

But the fact that he was defensive is dodgier and the fact that he's taken it out, and the fact that he's out a lot more than usual with workmates.

Keeping a close eye on him... well you can if you like.

But is someone you have to police really worth having?

I can't believe the number of women on here who keep close tabs on their man, when really if you have to do that the 'relationship' is a waste of time, isn't it?

You can't make someone want to be with you only, or stop them from transgressing if they want to do that.

I'm not unsympathetic, it must feel horrible. In your position I'd get rid. But I've just left my husband who wasn't even unfaithful and I don't really want to be with anyone right now, so I'm not best placed to identify with anyone who wants to hang on to a relationship.

RaraLala Thu 13-Dec-12 11:27:31

Well so far this week his behaviour has been pretty normal. He is however going out on the town with some friends of his from work on Friday. I am slightly dreading this.

allthatglittersisnotgold Fri 14-Dec-12 14:02:30

I had the same incident a few years ago. I got told for a posh wank. I let it slide. What a mug I was. Don't let it go op, however hard the situation is.

mcmooncup Fri 14-Dec-12 14:21:00

Are his pants on fire?

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