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Here is this week's Friday bum sex thread

(78 Posts)
Apocalypto Fri 23-Nov-12 16:15:16

since nobody's posted it yet.

trolls please congregate here.

kittybiscuits Fri 23-Nov-12 16:23:22

I've never heard of bumsex. Do you have any pictures? wink

izzyizin Fri 23-Nov-12 16:26:37

<pulls up a chair>

<parks bum so it can't be got at from any angle>

Pictures, kitty? You'll need to bleach your eyeballs afterwards.

Apocalypto Fri 23-Nov-12 16:32:01

Is it "bum sex" or "bumsex"?

I'm sure the first oversharer will be along in a minute.

kittybiscuits Fri 23-Nov-12 16:36:44

sounds like I will need an eyemask and metal pants for this thread izzyshock

apocalypto are you doing a quick NC so you can start comparing the merits of vaginal/clitoral/bum orgasms with or without a laxative?

izzyizin Fri 23-Nov-12 16:39:42

Is 'bum sex' having sex with a bum and 'bumsex' having sex up the on a bum? Maybe this is one for pedants' corner, Apoc hmm

Resists urge to overshare tales of Catholic sex.

It's like DOING A POO! I just dont get it. but always fascinated by these threads Im on the bus btw. Sitting. In my judgypants.

ike1 Fri 23-Nov-12 17:04:23

No bum sex is ahem 'shit' sex and bumsex is up the bum sex...

ike1 Fri 23-Nov-12 17:06:25

Oh god I red one thread where one of the recipients of bumsex described and I quote 'pebble dashing' the toilet as a result of this type of 'congress'-put me right off...

ike1 Fri 23-Nov-12 17:06:44

Soz read

kittybiscuits Fri 23-Nov-12 17:18:32

Better to pebbledash the toilet than end up in a 'spotted dick' type situation...grin

ike1 Fri 23-Nov-12 17:27:45

or ,as an ex described the culmination of such practice-watching his cum turn a shade of brown as he spunked on his paramoirs but cheeks....that put me off too....

ike1 Fri 23-Nov-12 17:28:25

butt - oh ffs - i need wine!

Apocalypto Fri 23-Nov-12 17:59:19

ike1

how nice of him to share that little detail of his amorous encounters with other women with you! I'm trying to avoid getting a mental picture of that lovely moment.

getting the lady to rinse out her bum first might be an option, but OTOH all this does is enable rumpy pumpy without a pebbledashed willy.

and if that's what a bloke wants, then there is a perfectly obvious alternative right under his nose. and it doesn't need rinsing out first. maybe after.

I conclude that the pebbledashing is a feature not a bug?

ike1 Fri 23-Nov-12 18:05:32

yes a delightful 'feature' apparently Apocalypto and note the 'ex' reference..lol

bumhead Fri 23-Nov-12 18:24:54

God this reminds me of when I shared a flat with my lovely friend Royston (who is gay). When I moved in there was this hose type attachment in the bathroom that I found useful to wash my hair with.
I remember Royston coming in the bathroom while I was giving my hair a final rinse whilst getting ready for a night out.
'Don't use that hose!!' he yelled, 'I stick that up my arse to wash it out before a date!' shock

lucidlady Fri 23-Nov-12 18:27:33

Haha bumhead that's so grim!!

bumhead Fri 23-Nov-12 18:28:45

Tell me about it!! blush

shrimponastick Fri 23-Nov-12 18:32:01

Ha ha ha bumhead

Perhaps bum sex is copulatimg with a tramp?

izzyizin Fri 23-Nov-12 18:50:55

That's what I meant by 'having sex with a bum', shrimp, but ike reckons bum sex is shit sex which kinda brings us back to the topic in hand... confused

footyfan Fri 23-Nov-12 21:27:35

Did anyone go to SuBo's bum sex party ?!?

twitter fail

ike1 Fri 23-Nov-12 21:43:42

Seems that peeps are not that interested in 'shit' sex tonight....could we have put them off with our tales of brown spunk, pebble dashing and hose enemas??????

ike1 Fri 23-Nov-12 21:47:26

...and bless poor old SUBO ...

TisILeclerc Fri 23-Nov-12 21:49:30

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

izzyizin Fri 23-Nov-12 21:50:05

Anal bum parties and hashtags? Seems the action's taking place elsewhere tonight...

TisILeclerc Fri 23-Nov-12 21:50:32

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

I like bumsex and I'm yet to encounter any santorum.

TisILeclerc Fri 23-Nov-12 21:59:21

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

YuffieKisaragi Fri 23-Nov-12 22:10:43

The words "anal leakage" are enough to put me off.

But I expect someone will be along soon to say that if you relax and use lots of lube you could have bumsex every night for 20 years and never suffer any ill effects. And that anyone who doesn't do it is boring and a prude...

ike1 Fri 23-Nov-12 22:12:29

In fairness some seem to genuinely like it....I sooo dont understand why tho...

picnicbasketcase Fri 23-Nov-12 22:14:46

I feel this thread is somehow lacking in romance.

TisILeclerc Fri 23-Nov-12 22:15:06

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TisILeclerc Fri 23-Nov-12 22:16:02

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RedGreenRouge Fri 23-Nov-12 22:16:46

I wouldn't call you boring, but judgemental maybe...

RedGreenRouge Fri 23-Nov-12 22:17:29

Not you specifically, Tis!

SoleSource Sat 24-Nov-12 10:29:48

Bum butter mmmmmmm

izzyizin Sat 24-Nov-12 10:40:24

Are you advocating spreading the love, Sole?

This thread appears to have failed to attract the gathering of bridge dwelling creatures you'd hoped for, Apoc.

May I suggest same time, same place, next Friday with title amended to 'get your shit hot sex here' or similar?

ike1 Sat 24-Nov-12 15:29:09

Yeah we gotta sell this 'crap sex' thread... properly...

bumhead Sat 24-Nov-12 15:56:36

May I issue a stern warning...if you indeed did have bum sex every night for 20 years, chances are you'd need anal tampons. Aforementioned Royston ended up with those....not glamorous!

MaeMobley Sat 24-Nov-12 16:34:42

Please tell me that Royston is not his real name.

bumhead Sat 24-Nov-12 16:40:01

It is his real name.

Heroine Sat 24-Nov-12 16:46:48

If you relax and use lots of lube you could have bumsex every night for 20 years and never suffer any ill effects.

Anyone who doesn't do it is boring and a prude.

ike1 Sat 24-Nov-12 16:58:18

Oh no! Bumhead! Poor Royston that makes my bollocks go all curly...

Heroine Sat 24-Nov-12 17:01:25

I am pretty sure that no-one really needs an anal tampon. I have had quite big things up my bottom and I don't.

bumhead Sat 24-Nov-12 17:02:23

Thanks Ike. He is a lovely guy although would be the very first to admit that his morals and sexual appetite need scrutinising by the medical profession.
Living with him was an eye opener, I will never forget coming home from a night out and interrupting a 'date' of his taking place in the living room. Put it this way, I was never again able to eat my cornflakes off that glass table we had again.
And don't even get me started on what I found in the freezer...

bumhead Sat 24-Nov-12 17:04:03

Herione they are very common amongst people who have repeatedly had it up there. I know a few people who use them

fuzzpig Sat 24-Nov-12 17:04:05

The words "anal leakage" are enough to put me off.

That about sums up my thoughts too!

Fair play to others if they enjoy it though.

fuzzpig Sat 24-Nov-12 17:05:06

Ok bumhead I know I'll regret this but what did you find in the freezer?

bumhead Sat 24-Nov-12 17:06:47

Are you sure you really want to know? It's pretty gross shock

Heroine Sat 24-Nov-12 17:06:49

They are not 'very common' amongst people how have had it repeatedly up there! I don't know anyone who hasn't had it repeatedly up there and I don't know ANYONE who uses tampons in their bottom!

You are talking .. ahem.. shit..

ike1 Sat 24-Nov-12 17:06:51

Oh but oh!!! Somhow I want to save him..he sounds so sweet with a name like Royston...Heroine I dont even know where to begin to ...arrrgh

bumhead Sat 24-Nov-12 17:08:58

Heroine - I know at least 4 people who use them. Granted they are gay man now in their 40s and 50s but actually they are. Fact.
So just because you don't know anyone who uses anal tampons doesn't make it shit.

bumhead Sat 24-Nov-12 17:10:36

Ike he is a really good laugh but a bit of a slut (he would tell you that himself very happily) grin

Heroine Sat 24-Nov-12 17:10:36

Have you actually SEEN them use them, or is this what someone said about someone who they thought was probably.. 'because you know he's a gay man and hahahahaha'...??

ike1 Sat 24-Nov-12 17:10:52

No please no shit tampon refs my stomach cant take it...

ike1 Sat 24-Nov-12 17:12:07

I know...does he mind having the tampon situ going on>does it put a crimp in his style as it were?

bumhead Sat 24-Nov-12 17:12:51

Heroine - I've seen the boxes of them in the bathroom. They are not the same as women's tampons. (obviously). I have a strong stomach but even I wouldn't ask a friend of mine to insert one in front of me.
They are a prescribed product.

ike1 Sat 24-Nov-12 17:13:57

Does he mind tho bumhead?

bumhead Sat 24-Nov-12 17:14:59

He is in the States now so I don't see him apart from say maybe once a year.
I don't think he cares about the tampon thing. Although he probably wouldn't mention it to anyone on a date or anything grin

bumhead Sat 24-Nov-12 17:15:43

I do think if he could get surgery to 'tighten up' that area then he would do.

Heroine Sat 24-Nov-12 17:17:29

I bet they are, I bet they are women's tampons in a big black masculine box. Perhaps royston was using this AssGnome

ike1 Sat 24-Nov-12 17:17:48

I dont know why but it makes me want to clench...HARD

ike1 Sat 24-Nov-12 17:19:01

Heroine noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!

fuzzpig Sat 24-Nov-12 17:19:57

I feel invested in the story now bumhead. You know you can't half-tell a story on MN!

<prepares dose of brain bleach>

ike1 Sat 24-Nov-12 17:24:29

NO! I am still reeling from the AssGnome is black too less likely to show up stainage -good grief-faints-

izzyizin Sat 24-Nov-12 17:34:55

Hey, cool it folks - the twitching hour's over and this thread has to be put on ice until next Friday.

Now, please disperse quietly so as not to frighten the horses disturb the neighbours and, for the Catholics among us, please note that the door to the confessional is this way >>>>

bumhead Sat 24-Nov-12 17:55:17

Fuzzpig - he had a turd in a condom in the freezer. Apparently it was to be used as a 'dildo' type thing. The frozen-ness apparently added to the sensation.
I know. I still feel ill at the thought. And no, I never ate anything or kept any food in that freezer.

ike1 Sat 24-Nov-12 17:56:34

See I BLOODY KNEW IT WOULD BE SOMETHING LIKE THAT-(flounce)

fuzzpig Sat 24-Nov-12 18:06:52

<triples dose of brain bleach>

Wow. I had a feeling it would be something condom-related - I once read in a little book of sex tips to freeze a condom filled with liquid and use it as a dildo.

I was not expecting that as a filling though.

Heroine Sat 24-Nov-12 18:07:06

That's right, and I bet you met Richard Gere's Hamster hmm BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS

bumhead Sat 24-Nov-12 18:14:58

>shrugs< whatever you say Heroine.

Sadly it's all true. I should know. I was there.

izzyizin Sat 24-Nov-12 18:41:41

this thread has to be put on ice until next Friday

Substitute 'turd'' for 'thead' and am I psychic? hmm

ike1 Sun 25-Nov-12 02:11:29

Izzy we could have a bumsex weekend????(hopeful??)

rhondajean Sun 25-Nov-12 02:28:31

Erml

Ok.

<leaves>

Anal tampons are more for people who have repeatedly had very large objects like fists, double fists and garden gnomes up their arses. I doubt you could get that effect from a humble cock however large your partner might be.

ike1 Sun 25-Nov-12 11:04:15

a 'humble cock' lol I now have visions of a cock pleading to be inserted - time I left this thread...

Heroine Sun 25-Nov-12 19:31:42

Well I have an image of you bending over and showing someone your bumhole, which is very.. confusing..

ike1 Sun 25-Nov-12 22:10:32

Heroine just as well I have no pics on my profile then...I'll leave it to your active imagination where indeed it is probably best kept..

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