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pregnant and alone

(62 Posts)
winkle1990 Mon 19-Nov-12 19:38:02

hi everyone i have literally just this morning found out im roughly 6 weeks pregnant, just over a week ago i broke up with the father because he was controlling, accusing and wouldn't give me any breathing space, after he left he was very abusive and threatening via txt message to me and my mum. Needless to say my mum detests him now and says if i get back with him she dont know if she can stick around. and that i am not allowed to tell him about the baby because it will be another way of him controlling me, so the one person who should be supporting me wont be ( he already has 4 other children and he is 23) Also I already have a daughter from a previous relationship who has just turned two. i feel like im at a loss, im lonely without him and was tempted to give him a second chance but after what my mum, iv also gone on his facebook and seen he has sent about 15 different girls messages with his number to txt, im absolutely devastated i dont know what to do at all, i dont see how i can go through the pregancy and have this baby without telling him but if i do i run the risk of losing my mum, so far i feel as if its going to do nothing but cause problems, whatever i choose im at a loss, as my mum says me and the babies deserve so much better than him which is true but im so overwhelmed by doing it all on my own (before i found out me and my mum were making plans about me and my daughter moving back in with mum and today finding out im pregnant she has decided she doesnt think she will be able to cope with it) i really dont know what to do i just feel so alone iv got no one who understands. i see what my mum is saying as it is quite true, she calls him a mother's worst nightmare, but i cant help that i love him and miss him and want him to be there for our baby, i just dont know what to do :'(

Alittlestranger Mon 19-Nov-12 19:43:06

Do you feel you have to continue with the pregnancy??

TakeMyEyesButNotTheGoat Mon 19-Nov-12 20:00:05

I'm sorry OP but I'm with your mum on this. He sounds like an idiot who can't keep it in his pants. He is already messaging other girls.

Maybe she seems harsh by saying she will cut ties with you if you go back with him, but that sounds like she has had enough of her daughter being treated like shit.

Does he see and financially support his other children?

23 with a 5th child on the way? I would be running like the wind.

izzyizin Mon 19-Nov-12 20:15:58

Why have you allowed yourself to become pg by an abusive knob who clearly doesn't give a shit about you?

It's time for you to grow up and start being a responsible parent to your existing dd who certainly doesn't need this tosser as a role model.

Book a termination, sort out effective contraception, and continue your plans to move in with your dm.

Alittlestranger Mon 19-Nov-12 20:18:26

Izzy said it more effectively than me. Why would you have another child in this situation?

MarianForrester Mon 19-Nov-12 20:24:18

Sounds a horrible situation. But if you do want to continue with the pregnancy something will work out. Your mum may change her mind if there is an actual baby.

It is rubbish when you've just split up. Take some time to think through, but don't despair.

NotQuintAtAllOhNo Mon 19-Nov-12 20:27:46

Sorry honey, but you dont sound like you should go ahead with another pregnancy. Your mum is right.
Speak to your GP about booking a termination. You need to ensure you have no ties to an abusive partner, for the sake of not just your daughter but yourself. There is no reason to bring another child into such a messy life.

He is not going to be there for the baby.

FobblyWoof Mon 19-Nov-12 20:32:24

Hi OP, sorry you're in this situation.

If you agree with your mum that you won't get back together with him (which I think is sound advice from her, and the best course of action) then would it be reasonable to assume that you could tell the father about the pregnancy without your mum deciding to cut ties?

That way the father knows, so you're not having to keep it a secret but you're also not in a relationship with this man which will help you, your DD and your mum

You do NOT need to book a termination at all, that's your choice and your body has to go through it! I've lost two pregnancies one at 23 weeks with my beautiful baby boy and one at 8 weeks and trust me you are not aware of the changes your body can go through (this wasnt to put you off). not just physically, but could you cope emotionally, ask yourself that before making such a big decision!

You've got to weigh up the pro's and con's. Just because you dont have. a partner yhat doesnt mean you have to get rid of the baby... he does have the right to know and if he doesnt support you go through court!

Remember pros and cons. Whatever you decide will change your life drastically. X

izzyizin Mon 19-Nov-12 20:47:27

You've got to stop this claptrap about i cant help that i love him and miss him and want him to be there for our baby because his track record shows that the only one he's capable of being there for is himself at the time of procreation.

This isn't a Hollywood film where it all comes good because 'true lurve' finds a way against the odds; this is your one and only life and you can't afford to keep getting pg by different men in the hope that one of them will be 'the one'.

Get this temporary galitch sorted and start getting your act together so that you won't fall victim to yet another useless male. You're worth a lot more than that - and so is your dd.

winkle1990 Mon 19-Nov-12 20:49:09

izzyizin Mon 19-Nov-12 20:15:58

Why have you allowed yourself to become pg by an abusive knob who clearly doesn't give a shit about you?

It's time for you to grow up and start being a responsible parent to your existing dd who certainly doesn't need this tosser as a role model.

Book a termination, sort out effective contraception, and continue your plans to move in with your dm.

For one - i didnt see him for what he really is until we broke up

Second - i have grown up and i am a responsible parent to my daughter which is from a previous relationship, you are speaking like i am the first person to be fooled and taken in by someone who arent what they seem

Third - book a termination? i think your a bit up yourself really, because my baby's dad is a waster means i should terminate my pregnancy :s i joined this to see if i can find any type of advice in a time of need and instead i am attacked by you who obviously knows everything and all the ins and outs of life when really you know everything about F A!!!

5madthings Mon 19-Nov-12 20:50:24

sorry but its not anybodies place to be telling the op to book an abortion.

that is a choice she needs ti make for herself!! op do you have anyine in rl you can talk to? maybe see your gp and they can recomend someone? gingerbread are good for advice for single parents.

maybe family planning or marie stopes clinic? so you can have a chat with someone impartial.

get i touch with womens aid as well.

you need to stay away from your ex, whete are you living currently? do you have somewhere safe for you and your dd?

izzyizin Mon 19-Nov-12 20:56:37

I'm not attacking you, winkle. I'm calling it as I see it and I see no need to allow sentiment to stand in the way of practicality.

Now that you've seen him for what he is, presumably you'll be able to determine a course of action which will be in the best interests of your dd as well as yourself without any assistance from others.

winkle1990 Mon 19-Nov-12 20:58:30

Thank you to everyone that has left empathetic comments, i think im going to have to go to the doctors and have a chat, i dont want to terminate my pregnancy just because of a man that i cant rely on, i have done perfectly fine with my daughter who is happy, healthy and a really bright and amazing little girl who i love more than life itself.

My main worry is i dont want to keep this secret from the dad or his family but i am feeling backed into a corner by my mum, he will eventually find out as we live in the same town full of gossips and i dread what i will get off him when he finds out off someone else

My mum does not want me to have an abortion, she just wants me to promise i wont tell the dad which is ridiculous i think, but i see she is worried!

I was not asking whether or not to continue with this pregnancy but about being torn with what to do,

Thanks All

You really are in a bad situation! I think you should tell him but that's your choice :-).

Mums are mums hehe, she's just worrying.. but what you need to remember is she will be there through thick and thin. Sit down and talk to her about it :-).

Izzy you was out if order. She's only had one baby and one on the way with two men. My mum is 40 has 10 children with 3 different men. She's single and is the happiest i have ever seen her. She always tells me she doesnt need a man she gas us kids:-)

I think its great news... CONGRATULATIONS!!

NotQuintAtAllOhNo Mon 19-Nov-12 21:28:23

Straight from the horses mouth, Twinkle!

You see what you have to aim for in life, lots a different kids with lots a different men!

Just bear in mind, this government is making lots of changes to the benefits system, and while being a young mum with no qualifications was a viable life choice just a couple of years ago, it might not be so for much longer.

Just think long and hard how you are going to support your children. Where you are going to live, where to find a roof above your heads, find food and clothes.

Your mum has told you she wont cope with you, your dd and a baby on the way. Why do you think that is?

SolidGoldYESBROKEMYSPACEBAR Mon 19-Nov-12 21:29:06

It's up to you whether or not you continue the pregnancy: if you find the idea of a termination too upsetting then you don't have to have one, even if it would make everyone's lives easier. Your body; your choice and no one else's.

But this man is a raving arsehole who will not make a good father, he is clearly a shitty father to the DC he has already. So while you may have to inform him, if the pregnancy continues (I don't mean to be harsh but, at only 6 weeks, there are no guarantees a pregnancy will continue to term anyway), don't think about getting back together with him and don't put his name on the birth certificate. I don't think you would need to worry about him demanding contact as he clearly does fuck all for his other children.

Alittlestranger Mon 19-Nov-12 21:30:48

@RileyLee: That's just not true though is it, one option will not change her life dramatically and that's the point.

Having an abortion will change your life if not physically it will emotionally. Some eoman look back and regret their decision, which can impact their life.

having a baby changes your life because its such a big change especially if she'salone..

so they both do change your life

NotQuintAtAllOhNo Mon 19-Nov-12 21:44:24

Which brings us back to Izzys point, why did she let herself become pregnant by such a man.

izzyizin Mon 19-Nov-12 21:49:58

It seems your dm does have a certain need of the male of the species living the life of Riley.

At only 40yo she's got plenty of time to churn out some more with the assistance of nos.4, 5, or 6.

I'm guessing she couldn't see past him? My mum had 5 kids with my dad who abused her badly, why? She didnt know any better. Does she regret it "does she hells like" as she says.

Sometimes it takes you a while to see someones true colours

lalalonglegs Mon 19-Nov-12 21:50:17

Having an abortion does not change most women's lives emotionally. Some women may look back and regret their decision, the vast majority, imo, do not. It is sentimental claptrap to say that a woman is going to be forever scarred by a termination.

peacefuleasyfeeling Mon 19-Nov-12 21:50:34

I hear you, winkle. Ouch! Do the right thing for your DD, and promise yourself that this man is out of your lives for ever. Your mum is talking tough, but as your ex also targeted her with abusive messages, I wonder if she is perhaps feeling more rattled than she is letting on, and is trying to make sure she is not going to be put in that situation again? It must be awful seeing one's daughter being treated badly, so I am sure she is doing all she can to try, by hook or by crook to make sure you save yourself and your daughter from this guy. As for your pregnancy, I really don't know what to suggest. Would he really use your baby to control you? Or might he just add it to the list of babies he's made but has no interest in? I wish you all the best, and send you lots of strength and courage to keep out of the controlling clutches of this man. Somewhere along the way, if you really want one, there will be a great guy, with no 'stuff' or 'issues' who will love you just as you are and treat your mum (and DCs) with respect.

Izzy I don't understand what you mean? I don't know the mumsnet terms... dm?

Teabagtights Mon 19-Nov-12 21:52:57

Look let's be honest why would you want two different kids from two different fathers at your age, especially one child whose dad has four other kids who no doubt he doesn't support. It's not going to hold you in good stead for meeting a guy later on is it lets be fair.

The most important thing right now is your current child and your well being. Why alienate your mother she speaks sense.

peacefuleasyfeeling Mon 19-Nov-12 22:12:22

Jeez, who have you been talking to, lala? And how truthfully? You have made a strong statement, and I feel I have to challenge it a bit. I am pro-choice, and I can, hand on heart, say that the majority of women I know (many years of women's groups and circles etc) who have had terminations, whether in their teens, 20s or 30s, in whichever circumstances, remember their terminations with sadness and regret, many years on, ranging from mildly to gut-wrenching and heart-breaking candle-lit vigils on the baby's would-be birthday. It was 'the right' decision for them at the time and enabled them to go on to lead the lives they were hoping and planning to lead, and they are glad they did it because of this, yet it would be untrue to say that there was not sadness and regret. There is room for both; you can be glad, yet acknowledge the pain, if you feel it.

Thank you for that peaceful, I didn't know how to put it... but that is what I meant. Termination is a huge decision, I'm not trying to get her not to have one.. I'm just letting her know what both can do to her. I didnt want to cause a conflict

Alittlestranger Mon 19-Nov-12 22:21:39

Jeez, Peaceful do you ever think the sample of people you've been speaking to might be unrepresentative too?

I can hand on heart say, and without wishing at all to sound trite, that I feel more regret and angst over drunken text messages I have sent than an abortion I had at the OP's age. But perhaps I should just keep waiting for that candle burning impulse to kick in hey?

lalalonglegs Mon 19-Nov-12 22:23:26

Well, there you go, we obviously know very different women. All the women I know - and I've known a fair few over the years - have looked back with complete relief and have generally said, although the procedure wasn't much fun, they have absolutely no regrets. In fact, the only two women I have ever known who have had anything close to sadness regarding their abortions both had planned pregnancies that they decided to terminate because of birth defects which I suspect may be different situation than a pregnancy that was unwanted from the outset. They still feel that they made the right decision but, in their cases, it was less straightforward.

lalalonglegs Mon 19-Nov-12 22:24:17

x-post with stranger

Teabagtights Mon 19-Nov-12 22:24:39

I don't recall my termination at 18. I remember being too young to have children, even though I was in a stable relationship.

I've never regretted having them. Yep more than one.

The second and third I was with a man I spent ten years with, made my life hell the emotional abuse, the cheating the taking all my money leaving the child I did have with nothing to drink and no electricity.

For me the choices at the time were the right ones. No regrets, no sadness.

My two children have no relationship with their father. He is an alcoholic who has never done a days work has spent 25 years on the dole, drinking and gambling.

Regrets? None.

Everyone I know has felt heartache... and there life has changed A LOT!

HeeBeeGeebies Mon 19-Nov-12 22:28:33

So you've never made a mistake, izzy? What a way to speak to someone who is worried and confused. Get a grip.

Op, it sounds like you've got a supportive mum. Can you sit down and talk to her thoroughly about all your options.

Look after yourself and your daughter.

I never claimed that ALL woman felt sadness. In winkles position where she wants it she would feel sad if she had it?

If you was young and not ready or in an unstable relationship you may not

ccarpenton Mon 19-Nov-12 23:49:10

He has 4 other children and he's 23. I'll say that again:


No matter how lonely you feel, that will not feel nearly as bad as how you will end up if you make this man selfish child part of you life.

This person is absolute scum and I'm sorry you've never had someone decent and caring enough in your life for you to realise that. And I'm appalled by your mum saying she will abandon you if you go back to him. You shouldn't. But that's not a loving way to express that thought!

SolidGoldYESBROKEMYSPACEBAR Mon 19-Nov-12 23:50:49

Actually, a woman is more likely to feel grief and regret after a termination if she only has the termination to shut other people up. I am massively pro-choice and support a woman's right to abortion on demand up until term.

However, I'm pro-choice which means I also support a woman's right to continue a pregnancy that she wants to continue, no matter what anyone else thinks about it.

And I do wish the people going 'Oh why did you get PG' would remember that no contraception is 100% effective.

akaemmafrost Tue 20-Nov-12 00:10:53

I can't believe that usually supportive and sympathetic posters are suggesting terminations and asking WHY the OP ALLOWED herself to become pregnant?

I am a sensible person with two dc, not in a relationship, pregnancy would be a disaster, yet despite taking all possible precautions (condom and MAP next day) I became pregnant, resulting in an ectopic and emergency surgery earlier this year. It happens A LOT because no contraception is fool proof not even two kinds together!

OP this is a difficult predicament for you but no one should be recommending you terminate, that is for you and you alone to consider and decide.

Personally I would NOT tell this man unless absolutely necessary, certainly not put him on the birth certificate and if I decided to keep the pregnancy would consider moving away. He sounds like an utter wastrel (love that word) and I think your Mum is right. He will bring nothing good or of any use to this situation.

TwinkleReturns Tue 20-Nov-12 00:11:27

Im appalled at some of the posts on here. Half of you ramming termination down OPs throat and the others questioning how she "allowed" herself to become pregnant. Contraception isnt 100% effective, abusive men often engineer contraception failure etc.

If a poster comes here asking for advice in a vulnerable state we empathise and offer advice. Telling someone who has just separated from an abusive partner that she needs to "grow up" is incredibly insensitive.

We should be encouraging OP to make a decision for herself. She doesnt need to pressured into a decision by her mother, her ex or by a load of judgey pants online.

OP, what do you want to do. What are the pros and cons, how would you support another child etc? I think talking to a GP or WA may be a good move even just so you are aware of all the options available to you. This is a decision that you need to make and that no-one else can make for you. You've done a very brave thing in separating from this man and regardless of the pgcy you need to take steps to protect yourself from him. Please think about calling Womens Aid.

ccarpenton Tue 20-Nov-12 00:34:05

I've found that women that need to justify their previous choice(s) to abort tend to be the quickest to suggest it to other people ... no matter what ...

Those for whom it was the hardest choice tend not to offer it as a solution. The OP knows abortion is possible. The OP knows abortion is an option. You should never suggest abortion to someone. Ever. Just be there when they want to talk about it and even then, only if you're a close friend and know the person doing the asking.

xmasevebundle Tue 20-Nov-12 00:59:19

I would NOT abort the baby unless it was right for you.

I dont think having 2 children by 2 different men is wrong either, many women have children by different men.

Id do what you want as Y O U are going to have to live with the choice for the rest of your life.

Talk to your GP, some good replies on here and very good advice.

I wish you all the best in what ever choice you make.

PearlyWhites Tue 20-Nov-12 07:44:03

Winkle am in a rush but didn't want to read and run. Am sorry you are going through this am horrified by what izzy has said to you please don't have a termination it's not your fault he was abusive and it's certainly not your babies fault. It's normal to be emotional in pregnancy I don't think you shud be with this guy but understand where you are coming from. Hugs xx

NotQuintAtAllOhNo Tue 20-Nov-12 08:21:53

Well softly softly hardly ever works, now.

Rather than poor you, cuddle cuddle all will be well, even if you have 10 children before the age of 25, it will all be ok, maybe some realism would actually work.

peacefuleasyfeeling Tue 20-Nov-12 08:43:57

Softly softly does work. Empathy does work. Listening for and acknowledging the need does work.

TwinkleReturns Tue 20-Nov-12 09:48:06

People leaving abusive relationships have had people dismissing their voices, telling them what to do and taking control away from them. The best thing you can do, and which the relationships board usually excels at, is to aid and encourage the OP to find their own voice again, to value their own opinion again.

I am beyond angry that posters havent grasped this and feel that coming in guns blazing, providing no empathy and no safe space for the OP to be supported in making her own decisions is a good approach. It isnt.

Those of you that cant manage to understand that a vulnerable person deserves some compassion and understanding need to bow out now and actually consider the impact of their approach on the OP. I know that if my threads had been treated in this way Id never have felt able to talk about my abuse, wouldnt have had the hue amount of support which was a life line over the past year. Every OP deserves that support, it is nobodys place to pass judgement.

SolidGoldYESBROKEMYSPACEBAR Tue 20-Nov-12 10:00:55

All you telling her to terminate: Have you been reading too many benefit-bashing threads and headlines again? You might like to bear in mind, also, that having children by different men is one way of improving the gene pool...

NotQuintAtAllOhNo Tue 20-Nov-12 12:34:27

It is equally wrong to just molly coddle and congratulate the OP, telling her all will be well. It might not be. She does not even have a home for the child she has already got, if she progresses with the pregnancy. How is saying Congratulations go with your heart and enjoy your bubba helping?

akaemmafrost Tue 20-Nov-12 12:51:23

I don't think anyone has done that quint. No one has Molly coddled or been fluffy to the OP about this pretty rubbish situation she finds herself in.

I think it is wrong to suggest to someone that they terminate their pregnancy from their body because you, an outsider perceives it to be the solution.

Suggesting a termination to a pregnant woman does not make you more realistic and telling it how it is, its massively overstepping boundaries and you have no right to do it.

NotQuintAtAllOhNo Tue 20-Nov-12 13:01:37

There are so many anti abortion folks around, and having a termination is still looked upon as pretty taboo. I think it is perfectly fine to consider it as an option, that the OP will know that you are not looked down upon if you go ahead with this.

I think if anything, more people need to consider this as a viable choice when considering what they do when they end up in such a situation.

Posters vilifying people who speak out and say it is a valid choice are not exactly doing the OP a favour either! Pushing her into keeping a baby she might not actually want.

Nobody in their right minds are going to terminate a pregnancy because strangers on the internet says it is a good idea, it is therefore easier to talk somebody into progressing a pregnancy than putting an end to it.

I think Winkle would be much better off moving on from her abusive ex, cut all ties with him, because it is better for her and her daughter to do this.
She was going to live with her mum, but her mum does not want her there pregnant, and then with two children from two relationships. When is she ever going to find time to study for qualifications, or find a job? Find a home and support herself and her children?

EuroShopperEnergyDrink Tue 20-Nov-12 13:02:44

IMO- saying 'its not baby's fault!' and bringing up candlelit vigils for zygotes are being equally pushy as those suggesting termination.

OP currently doesn't have a house for the child she has. The man involved is abusive and clearly doesn't give a fuck about what happens after he's got his dick wet. As someone has mentioned, benefit changes (which I disagree with) are coming in next April which could push OP and her child(ren) into poverty.

Explore all of your options, including termination. Your sole aim should be ensuring that DD has a good life. I am so sorry you have to go through this, but this is a situation where 'follow your heart' does not help one little bit.

akaemmafrost Tue 20-Nov-12 13:09:33

Who is pushing her to keep the baby? You've done that a few times on this thread quint exaggerate responses that disagree with your own in order to undermine them confused. As I pointed out in my last post NO ONE is being fluffy and Molly coddling just like NO ONE is encouraging the OP to keep a child she may not want. You are actually making that up to justify your position.

I am TOTALLY pro choice, but it is not mine or anyone else's place to suggest a termination to a pregnant woman. I also feel it has been presented as pretty much the ONLY thing to do in this case by a couple of posters and not as an explore all your options suggestion.

OP's Mum sounds pretty sensible too, I am hope she will be helping her daughter to decide the best way forward.

TwinkleReturns Tue 20-Nov-12 13:15:09

Hope you are ok OP.

NotQuintAtAllOhNo Tue 20-Nov-12 13:15:26

Sorry Akaemma, I disagree with your interpretations of my posts on this thread, regards to exaggeration of others posts. I am stating my opinion, but feel free to continue picking on me if that is what you want.

ShamyFarrahCooper Tue 20-Nov-12 13:16:08

Am sorry you are going through this am horrified by what izzy has said to you please don't have a termination it's not your fault he was abusive and it's certainly not your babies fault. It's normal to be emotional in pregnancy I don't think you shud be with this guy but understand where you are coming from. Hugs xx

Ah yes Pearly, your advice is so much better...saying 'please don't have a termination' to a stranger online is one of the shittiest things I've read.

IMO the OP needs to figure out what she wants to do. FWIW her mum is right about the ex being a waste of space. However OP, you need to stop telling us what those around you think and tell us what you think.

TwinkleReturns Tue 20-Nov-12 13:18:20

Shamy I dont think there's much chance of OP feeling like she can do that now. Which is really not on.

akaemmafrost Tue 20-Nov-12 13:19:57

Picking on you? confused

I've directly quoted your posts, which were telling us how others were responding to the OP when that just was not happening and i stand by what i said.

I'll bow out now I certainly don't want to be perceived as picking on someone.

EuroShopperEnergyDrink Tue 20-Nov-12 13:20:13

Come back OP sad

NotQuintAtAllOhNo Tue 20-Nov-12 13:20:17

Thanks Shamy, for finding the example I thought for a moment I had imagined.

PeppermintPasty Tue 20-Nov-12 13:32:57


The sad thing is the OP isn't getting support to make whatever decision she needs to make. It sounds like your mother (though she may have the best motives) wants to control you too!

Please do go to your gp if you feel you can talk to them freely. Hopefully they are clued up and will refer you on to someone you can talk to in depth.

You say you're lonely (without him). What about friends, any good/great ones you can turn to? This advice is all a bit wishy washy, but I feel like it is very early days and that you need to get over the hump, if you know what I mean-get over the hard bit which is missing him(I agree with everyone else about him that's for sure), so you can concentrate and try to see clearly wrt the pregnancy.

Please come back on here for support, if you can bear it!!

Stressed81 Tue 20-Nov-12 14:19:52

Hi I started another thread because my partner walked out on me I am now 21 weeks pregnant. If you need to talk then im here,be comforted that your not the only one. I decided to keep my baby and if Im honest even now I wonder if I made the right choice. I will do my best to provide a loving stable environment for him when he arrives but I will be honest Im scared. Decide whats best for you and your child

SolidGoldYESBROKEMYSPACEBAR Tue 20-Nov-12 22:16:13

Someone suggested tactfully early on in the thread that the OP consider whether or not she wanted to continue the PG, which was fair enough. Then half a dozen people started screaming 'Have an abortion you stupid cow, stop relying on taxpayers' money' which understandably got the OP horribly upset.

No woman should feel obliged to continue a pregnancy she doesn't want, but equally no woman should feel she ought to terminate her pregnancy because it would inconvenience or offend other people.

MakeItALarge Wed 21-Nov-12 01:55:36

Op try posting in the lone parents section. Theres a huge thread of facing pregnancy alone and lots of people, myself included, who have been in your position.

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