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Are middle age women a turn off for middle aged men?

(54 Posts)
nolongerattractive Fri 16-Nov-12 10:46:32

I say this because this is the impression I get from OH. He will make a point of looking at young, slim, attractive ladies but I dont notice him looking at ladies of his own age group 50+. Are we middle aged ladies a turn off for men? I know George Clooney would'nt fancy me grin

DoIlooklikeapeopleperson Fri 16-Nov-12 10:51:23

Well I'm 49 & I tend to notice men of around 30 - middle aged men don't do a lot for me grin
I'd say men & women are the same where this sort of thing is concerned.

CogitoErgoSometimes Fri 16-Nov-12 10:52:02

My current middle-aged boyfriend has a bit of 'thing' for Nigella and Tanya Beckett (who he thinks I look like, the sweet, mad creature that he is). So your OH is either being a) boring and stereotypically 'laddish' or b) deludes himself that he's still young slim and attractive....

PostBellumBugsy Fri 16-Nov-12 10:52:09

I find 25 year old men more attractive than most 50 year old men (including George Clooney), however I hope I would never be crass enough to indicate that to my partner/ husband etc.

PerryCombover Fri 16-Nov-12 10:54:47

Y in the same way middle aged men are for us.
Start saying Hubba Hubba about mid 20s men in front of your h
In fact maybe be a little more crude from time to time...see how he finds it

ReallyTired Fri 16-Nov-12 10:56:16

I suppose the reality is that middle aged women aren't fertile. The male brain unconciously knows that he stands less chance of getting middle aged women pregnant. From an evolutionary point of view having sex with middle aged women is a waste of time.

HullyEastergully Fri 16-Nov-12 10:58:59

Um..George Clooney ain't gonna be looking your way no matter how old you are.

izzyizin Fri 16-Nov-12 10:59:58

Mr Clooney may have reasons for not fancying you which are entirely unconnected with your age wink

The older I get the more I appreciate the sheer physical beauty of youth. Although I had more than my share of stunning young men, I'm convinced that they didn't make them quite as divinely attractive in my younger years as they are today. <born too early emoticon>

Startail Fri 16-Nov-12 11:01:56

Of course men eye up younger women, I eye up the man in our off licence. He's young enough to be my son.

It is as really tired says totally natural.

It's only a problem if your DH doesn't still fancy you or you him.

Oh and I do feel free to clip him round the ear if he talks too much about younger womenwink

Lovingfreedom Fri 16-Nov-12 12:15:38

Plenty of young guys fancy older women though. Tell him to belt up or you'll get yourself a toy boy...or two.

carmenelectra Fri 16-Nov-12 12:58:41

I do believe men prefer younger women to middle aged. Well, middle aged men do, I'm convinced. Just from observing men in social situations anD men I know.

However, I'm sure women also prefer 25 year old men to 55 year olds. I do, I admit it.

The differenece is I think more men would actually act on it given the chance. I wouldn't have. Sex or a relationship with a much younger man I don't think, and I mean much younger not like ten yrs. I'd feel a bit silly and embarrassed. I think a lot a middle aged men have no shame and would happily shag a 20 year old with no embarrassment at all.

B1ueberryMuff1n Fri 16-Nov-12 13:55:28

There are a lot of men like this.

It would turn me off to be honest. I would find it a little pathetic, and a bit inappropriate, and most importantly in a relationship disrespectful and insensitive of him to be drooling over women half his age. I wouldnt' feel attracted to him as a person. Obviously women's attraction tends to be a lot more 'hollistic' so .............

ReallyTired Fri 16-Nov-12 14:41:39

Plenty of young guys fancy older women though

Are they looking for a mummy type figure rather than sex?

joblot Fri 16-Nov-12 14:47:55

So all people have sex to have babies? I think not. I'm highly sceptical of the evolutionary arguments.

Youth is highly prized in our culture. And oh god I could go on but I'd be wasting my precious middle age

whistlestopcafe Fri 16-Nov-12 14:54:58

I don't notice younger men at all now. One thing I have noticed as I've got older is that looks don't really register on my radar at all, I'm attracted to personality more now than I ever was.

When we were in our 20s I would notice dh take a sneaky glance at an attractive young woman but these days he doesn't appear to pay much attention to them so perhaps he feels the same way.

Dh mentioned that a colleague was being a lech towards a 21 year old woman at work and dh found it very distasteful, he said he couldn't get past the fact that they were old enough to be her father.

izzyizin Fri 16-Nov-12 14:55:25

Would I be wasting my precious middle age if I were to highly prize a prime specimen youth for cultural pursuits tonight, joblot? confused

AnnaFurLact1c Fri 16-Nov-12 14:57:53

Oh just tell him that you'll trade him in for two 25 year olds.

And mean it.

B1ueberryMuff1n Fri 16-Nov-12 15:03:44

I agree with AnnaFur. I wouldn't waste my middle age on a man who didn't appreciate me. I guess when you've left one eejit you just aren't willing to put up with shit any more.

domesticgodless Fri 16-Nov-12 15:09:17

hmm... I am seeing a lot of middle aged men who seem to actively prefer women their own age. Makes sense, because when you look for a partner, you are not just looking for a shag. It's a companion most people want, including men, and attractiveness is not just about the immediate look.

I've seen many a pretty boy whose beauty is destroyed the minute they open their mouth....

PixieHot Fri 16-Nov-12 15:11:37

grin at Hully, I was going to say that!

Mayisout Fri 16-Nov-12 15:19:36

I think there is a case where older women, probably older than 50, are seen as invisible.

But probably older men are invisible too unless they look attractive, fit, distinguished or powerful.

I would say that a young good looking man gets oggled every bit as much as a young good looking woman. Especially nowadays when young men are likely to work out regularly, some are just gorgeous.

domesticgodless Fri 16-Nov-12 15:22:09

I am just not seeing these gorgeous young things around! (I work in a university...) they all just look like oiks to me. But then I like the posh boy Cumberbatch type and that is not the current style :S

honestly though give me someone with maturity. When last single for some reason I was only attracting blokes younger than me (my own immaturity perhaps!!) and they were all totally shit in bed. TOTALLY. It's the porn generation, they are all desensualised.

Mayisout Fri 16-Nov-12 15:30:31

Oh, well I'm late 50s so 'young' covers quite a broad range!

Yokel Fri 16-Nov-12 15:34:14

I am lucky in that my taste in men has exactly kept pace with my age. When I was young, I liked 'em young. Now I'm old middle aged I like 'em middle aged. I'm with domesticgodless - young men these days look and behave like vile spotty oiks. [catsbumface]

Yokel Fri 16-Nov-12 15:35:31

Oh and beards! I loathed beards as a young woman. But then I grew up, I matured, I discovered that beards are actually as sexy as fuck.

somebloke123 Fri 16-Nov-12 15:43:01

As a middle-aged male with a wife in her early 50s I find mature women (e.g. 40s and 50s) more attractive and interesting on the whole.

It's one reason why I find it hard to muster any great interest one way or the other in the debate about Sun Page 3 girls. To me they (though obviously "fit") aren't that interesting, and the photos seem reasonably tastefully done.

Horsemad Fri 16-Nov-12 16:02:09

Well I like men my own age and actually even a bit older than me (I'm late 40s but am told I look younger). HOWEVER... they are ALL quite fit and look good for their age, so not just any old bloke will do!! grin

Jellykat Fri 16-Nov-12 16:08:46

Eek.. well if men only tend to look at younger women, i (being a 49 yr old singleton) better develop a taste for pensioners confused

Seriously though, i agree with Yokel, my ogling keeps in line with my age.. Any younger and i view them the same as DS1.

joblot Fri 16-Nov-12 16:18:01

Hell no izzy go for it

I have no problem with youth, have had more than my fair share so to speak, just don't prize it about owt else. In fact can be rather boring. Can't beat middle aged wenches

B1ueberryMuff1n Fri 16-Nov-12 16:23:18

Most 50 year old men know deep down that women much more than 5-10 years arent' going to look twice at them never mind have sex with them unless they're handsome, slim, well-dressed etc.... They may drool over 25 year olds but if they ever want to have sex again, they realise that that is not going to be with women 'like that'.

I think. I'm a woman though. Who ever knows what men really think! adn if you knew for sure you'd be more depressed I think.

digerd Fri 16-Nov-12 16:25:09

I joined a marriage bureau when I was 55, 3 years after losing my gorgeous DH to cancer. I had letters from 70+ and they looked old enough to be my father. Any younger ones didn't catch my heart either. I had 2 visit me at home for a cup of tea, and one I showed photos to, just kept saying "Wow she's lovely" - it was my daughter at age 30 but also age 15!!!

The other one just kept talking about another woman he had met, who he knows now he should have married as she married someone else, as he was unsure at the time. I wasn't attracted to either, and realised I didn't have my heart ,anyway, to give to anyone else, as my late DH had taken it with him to his grave ( sobs)

Horsemad Fri 16-Nov-12 16:33:18

Digerd never say never - the last wedding I attended, the combined age of the bride & groom was 140!!

janelikesjam Fri 16-Nov-12 17:10:53

Caught between Somebloke and Digerd hmm and it is a bit of a "weird" issue. I do think there is alot of truth in original post.

OTOH, from a woman's point of view - I can find some men in their 50s very, very attractive, and others (the majority it has to be said) absolutely never in a month-of-Sundays.

HellothisisJoanie Fri 16-Nov-12 17:12:43

as i hit 40 I discovered a fair amount of the under 30s seemt o like older women. they wouldnt if they had to see them nekkid though obv

MardyArsedMidlander Fri 16-Nov-12 17:14:41

'they wouldnt if they had to see them nekkid though obv'

Erm- speak for yourself honey shock ANY man of ANY age should be damn grateful I'm dropping my keks for him!

HellothisisJoanie Fri 16-Nov-12 17:15:04

ergh ergh

dont call me Honey

I am not working class

Helltotheno Fri 16-Nov-12 18:01:55

I think there is a case where older women, probably older than 50, are seen as invisible.

Plenty of very hot over 50 women around the place so I'd say you'd need to put that forward by at least 10 years grin
In fact one of the things at play is that a lot of women 40+ are looking after themselves very well, especially in terms of weight and fitness, and often look a lot better than younger women.

Re the OP, men look at any hot woman imo.

janelikesjam Fri 16-Nov-12 20:06:19

I will think about this relevant subject and respond tomorrow hmm

pointythings Fri 16-Nov-12 20:11:46

I've only just started fancying a particular younger man. His name is Daniel Craig, and he is a whole 23 days younger than I am.

Apart from that it's still older men all the way, the young ones are either too pretty or don't have enough to say.

janelikesjam Fri 16-Nov-12 20:15:01

Yes Daniel Craig <sigh> But I discovered him in that fantastic film "The Mother" interestinly allegedly about older women, but really about mothering, long before said actor's role in Casino Royale <gasps>

FastLoris Fri 16-Nov-12 20:36:16

B1ueberryMuff1n I think you understand men pretty damn well.

In purely physical terms, people of both sexes tend to find young people more sexually attractive than old people. Always have, always will. Love, respect, good intentions and gender politics don't enter into it - they're a different matter.

Thread's got to win a prize for stating the obvious.

B1ueberryS0rbet Fri 16-Nov-12 20:36:52

Was it frank skinner who said that any woman over 35 was ropey? i think he was about 45 himself when he said it.

Horsemad Fri 16-Nov-12 20:43:59

Ha! And Frank Skinner is a perfect example of Manhood, isn't he grin

janelikesjam Fri 16-Nov-12 20:48:49

For sure.

I think it's more a case of, after child birth women in middle age tend to have fuller figures,that they hide,so don't apear so attractive to lots of middle aged men,when there are hoards of young girls out walking around in shorts & tights showing off their bodies for all to admire. I don't think for one moment that the young women give a second thought about the middle aged men ogling them.
I see many middle aged women with slim figures that are beautiful & well dressed,but seem to be unapproachable. I also know lots of larger ladies that are just as beautiful,with outstanding personalities,so for me it's more about the personality of the person rather than age or size of the woman that makes her attractive .
(I work in a mainly female work place)

efcmcr Fri 16-Nov-12 22:46:18

I'm a man and like older women. It's not a "thing" or anything, however I can certainly see a lot of attractiveness in a confident woman in her mid 40's (I'm 34).

I find younger women often have less confidence in themselves, and seem to be too busy overthinking everything to actually enjoy themselves?

Sorry, some huge generalisations there (I am a bloke, remember), but yes, older women can be lovelier than their younger counterparts grin

YouBloodyWolf Sat 17-Nov-12 05:52:31

In a word, no. Not for me, anyway. A 20 year old may be perkier in certain areas and be able to stop traffic with just an arse, but I've found that as I've got older (I'm 40) I'm much more drawn to someone I could potentially connect with and relate to. I'd much sooner flirt with someone my own age (not that I would, etc etc). And the battle scars of reaching that age are nothing to be ashamed of.

Just look at the popularity of 'MILF' porn!

YouBloodyWolf Sat 17-Nov-12 06:01:36

That last line was flippant, btw. I'm not saying that milf porn should be reassuring to middle aged women.

Lovingfreedom Sat 17-Nov-12 06:56:00

That's outrageous Youbloodywolf....are you saying that MILFs aren't perky? My arse caused a multiple pile up the other day..... wink

YouBloodyWolf Sat 17-Nov-12 09:02:04

No! I'm not saying for one moment that that's the case - it's just that younger ladies tend to be more obvious about it.

I'll stop digging now.

MrsCantSayAnything Sat 17-Nov-12 09:10:14

I knew I was getting on a bit when the guys I noticed in the street suddenly appeared to be too young for me!

Youth is beautiful. End of story! But it doesn't mean that men don't fancy women over 40 at all!

I just hit 40 and have found I get more attention suddenly....ok from middle aged men but still!

I'm happily partnered up but it doesn't mean that I don't like some looks!

Interesting subject. I've been casually dating a chap who is 45 and I'm 34 since February. I've never dated anyone before who's more than 5 years either side of me and he did make a comment many months ago about women in their 30's being the best. I'm not terribly slim, I'm a size 14 post children. He however keeps himself trim. Hmmmm not entirely sure what I'm trying to say but I've nodded a lot to comments on here.

LadyLapsang Sat 17-Nov-12 09:59:05

OP, your OH sounds crass and immature - obviously eyeing up someone else is hugely stupid and disrespectful, he should have grown out of that behaviour by now.

Age is just a number, I see attractive people of both sexes from their 20's to their 60's and I'm sure when I'm older the upper age will extend too. Yes, physical looks count, but so does your intelligence, personality and engagement with the world. Many people in their 20's and 30's are more insular and less interesting / attractive than people in their 40's & 50's.

HellothisisJoanie Sat 17-Nov-12 10:38:30

he probably should have jsut grown out of admitting it in public

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