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6 months in...are these normalish and I am being too picky?

(146 Posts)
scrapingbottom Mon 12-Nov-12 18:50:41

Hello All,

I read here alot, have name changed for this as slightly scared of answers

I have been seeing someone for just over 6 months, and for me we hit crunch time this week and I'm thinking of leaving, just wanted others opinion if possible.

All been ok, been on 2 long holidays etc and see every weekend however a week ago my mum who lives a long way away said she would be over at end of Dec and wanted to meet him, so I asked him, he lives half an hour away and said o might be too tired as its a monday, i got the message and said ok fine will tell her you are too busy. However was annoyed and all the things I am unsure about have reared their ugly head...

1) He is incredibly tight, so much so that his friends take the mick, and hates going out

2) he eats at his parents every night so as to save cooking and prefers me round latish so he can eat first, his mum also does all his washing and ironing..he is 50

3) He farts now continually, didn't used to and thinks its hilarious

4) Like some kind of tourette syndrome he keeps saying fcuking c@@t under his breath apropos of nothing when we are out??

5) calls his boss female a slag and a c@@t and says she slept her way to top and wants him and i should be lucky he has morals??

6) A bit shorter than me and I'm average height and wears huge built up shoes so he can hardly walk, I hate this, I don't care about the height

7) obsessed with anal sex??? WTF

8) Slightly controlling and bossy and hates me drinking or looking at other guys, I don't realise I have looked till he makes a comment, I'm normally just looking into space I think

9) Ok just read these and they sound awful, he can be lovely, good company, and fun, but I'm getting irritated now hugely, yes been asked to meet his parents and I would never say o no too tired as its in week

Any ideas

stargirl1701 Mon 12-Nov-12 18:51:38


ChicMama25 Mon 12-Nov-12 18:51:56

Ahhh he sounds gross and horrid sorry! Get rid!

NatashaBee Mon 12-Nov-12 18:53:46

He sounds delightful. You shouldn't feel bad about dumping him, with those wonderful qualities I expect there will be a whole queue of women waiting to snap him up.

AThingInYourLife Mon 12-Nov-12 18:53:54


FirstTimeForEverything Mon 12-Nov-12 18:53:59

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TurnipCake Mon 12-Nov-12 18:55:17

He sounds vile. One thing I learned from my exes is: the way in which some men disparage other women will eventually be how they disparage you.

scrapingbottom Mon 12-Nov-12 18:56:17

No not a joke, I have listed all things that get on my nerves so much, he has good qualities too.

But the money thing drives me mental, I earn a v good salary ( touch wood) and he things all women are after his, I hate this.

Thanks for answers, if I read I would say same, these are the bad things, he has many good, but I am getting irritaed after mum thing x

Wecanfixit Mon 12-Nov-12 18:56:55

Got to agree with the other 2 posts , get out while the going is good , ask yourself after reading what you have written does this sound like a nice guy you are seeing ? emm no , do yourself a favour and dump him you deserve so much better than this , good luck.

onedev Mon 12-Nov-12 18:57:34

Agree with others - he sounds horrible, definitely run!

lightrain Mon 12-Nov-12 18:58:29

Think there's a reason he still lives with his mum at 50. Not sounding great tbh.

higgle Mon 12-Nov-12 18:59:04

No amount of good things can make up for that list! No self respecting woman would put up with all that even if he was the last man left on the planet.

I thought it was going to say cuts toenails onto floor' of something actually bearable! [Grin]

He sounds horrible.

If you're irritated after six months, and he is acting like this after six months, then it is time to call it a day.

Do you really see a future with a man like him? <shudder>

grin then, and once you've dumped him, cheer yourself up with a wine

Tressy Mon 12-Nov-12 19:00:37

Another thread that sound like it's describing another ex of mine. I dumped him 6 months in because of similar behaviour, right down to eating at his mums every night! He got married afterwards and had another baby. I bumped into him and he was moaning about it all.

Are you happy, do you love him? I think it's a good time to end things before you get more miserable.

lovemydogs Mon 12-Nov-12 19:00:50

Sorry but he does sound dreadful. Also personally, I really don't like the c word at all even when someone is angry. Probably best your mum does not meet him. If he was 20 and ate at his parents each night etc I could understand. Also I find meaness with money often comes with meaness in consideration and caring. I do wish you all the best.

Run for the hills, he sounds a bit weird tbh

lemonstartree Mon 12-Nov-12 19:02:02

RUN. and do not look back !

scrapingbottom Mon 12-Nov-12 19:02:09

Thanks he lives round the corner from his mum. I know families are close, but when he boasted how low his utilities were I realised why, gives her something to do he said, the cooking I can understand if she does it anyway but the laundry I find hard.

Hes saved so much and has a house which is v nice but spotlessly tidy that you feel uncomfortable

When he comes round to mine he texts me after to say what bits he though dirty????

as far as I know he had one long term 3 year relationship at age 40 then all v v v short term ones

mrscynical Mon 12-Nov-12 19:03:11

Jeez, the first six months are supposed to be all wonderful and lovely and bloody brilliant. Imagine how awful it would all be six years down the line.

Any one of those points would have me dumping him.

He is a complete and utter twat.

ChicMama25 Mon 12-Nov-12 19:03:27

I could never ever ever not even for a single second entertain the idea of being with someone who spoke about women like that

MadameOvary Mon 12-Nov-12 19:04:51

I would say, OP, that any pleasant characteristics or appealing qualities would be pretty much obliterated by the list above.
He is a manchild.
Unless you enjoy being surrogate Mummy and a sounding board for his dodgy views of women, run like the fucking wind

Ephiny Mon 12-Nov-12 19:07:29

Are you serious?

No, you are not being too picky.

Is this a joke? confused

SweetSeraphim Mon 12-Nov-12 19:07:42

He texts you to tell you which bits of your house is dirty? Fucking hell, why are you even seeing him? He sounds dreadful.

scrapingbottom Mon 12-Nov-12 19:09:32

O dear, he didn't start like this at all

Would you guys dump him for 1 or more of these?

MaMaPo Mon 12-Nov-12 19:10:18

If nothing else, number 5 tells me this is horrible man who doesn't deserve to be in a relationship.

Get rid of him and find someone who doesn't hate, or at least devalue, women.

abitcoldupnorth Mon 12-Nov-12 19:11:26

Any of those. Sorry.

SweetSeraphim Mon 12-Nov-12 19:13:23

Any of those things would be enough to dump. I'm sorry OP, but without even knowing you, I KNOW you can do much better than this, and so do you.

lubeybooby Mon 12-Nov-12 19:14:21

Everything but the farting is an URGENT dumpable offence.

Get rid NOW!!

insprognito Mon 12-Nov-12 19:14:46

Its kind of hard to see why on earth you would want to be with this freak. Imo nothing could redeem all of that. Sorry but get rid pronto, you deserve better surely?

BelaLugosisShed Mon 12-Nov-12 19:16:27

Did you seriously think that anyone on here would say yes, you are being picky?
Are you so desperate for a man in your life that even an appalling specimen like him is better than nothing?

OneMoreGo Mon 12-Nov-12 19:16:32

PLEASE tell me this is a wind up?
I would bin him immediately.

doctordwt Mon 12-Nov-12 19:17:23


It's so bad it's hard to believe tbh.

Yes, I would have dumped him for most of the issues on your list just on their own. Two or more and I'd have literally run out of the door.

He sounds like a disgusting, offensive, lazy, selfish, unpleasant, cretinous, using pig.

Dump grin

ThereGoesTheYear Mon 12-Nov-12 19:17:25

He's got a full house of bad qualities, hasn't he? 5 and 8 are particularly disturbing. Run like the wind and don't feel like you have to justify your reasons to him or anyone else.

izzyizin Mon 12-Nov-12 19:18:39

Holy Moly... you're asking if you're being too picky when you should be asking why you're not picky enough.

FFS ditch this twat pronto - pointing him in the direction of the door and setting light to one his farts should serve to speed the process, but don't hesitate to apply your boot to his arse and kick him into orbit around plant offufuck if the resulting flame doesn't do the job for you.

Seriously, honey... you'd want to introduce this moron to your dm? Have you no pride?

stuffitunderthebed Mon 12-Nov-12 19:19:15

Run - he won't be able to catch you in those shoes... Sorry OP, couldn't resist it. He sounds awful, I'm sure you can do better. Good luck.

izzyizin Mon 12-Nov-12 19:20:20

planet offufuck although an orbiting plant will provide a natural environment for a vegetable like him.

tschiffely Mon 12-Nov-12 19:22:34

Even lurkers on mn know better than to stick around with sheisters like this. Run, block, delete!

scrapingbottom Mon 12-Nov-12 19:24:32

izzy thank you i laughed! had a very very tough time recently so radar is not working

thanks all xx

hugoagogo Mon 12-Nov-12 19:24:54

Oh my! You really need to get rid.

<clutches dh to bosom>

AvonCallingBarksdale Mon 12-Nov-12 19:36:14

Oh my good lord! Run, OP, run for the hills. Do not look back, do not pass go, just get the rock out of there! Do you mind me asking if you are a similar age to him?

scrapingbottom Mon 12-Nov-12 19:39:54

10 years younger!

WakeyCakey Mon 12-Nov-12 19:42:22

3 words...

Leave the bastard!!
He sounds horrible and he doesn't deserve you. you can do better and better won't want to do you in the bum!
a total deal breaker for me grin

Mother of god.

I have never commented on anything in relationships before, but I am compelled.

You are dating the doppelgänger of my ex (except the age).

Dump him now. Do it. Go on. Report back when you're done.

I wonder how he got to this age and is still single when he's such a catch grin

kissyfur Mon 12-Nov-12 19:43:04

Jeez! I don't think you even need to ask with a list like that do you?! Run! And don't look back

ErikNorseman Mon 12-Nov-12 19:43:20

I'm sorry but I'm questioning how you can even consider not dumping him. Where are your standards?

Guiltypleasures001 Mon 12-Nov-12 19:46:56

I'm sorry but I have to ask, and ladies cover your ear now..

What he like in bed????

I have to know, he sounds like a characture off a 70's sitcom.

Guiltypleasures001 Mon 12-Nov-12 19:47:06

ears ffs

scrapingbottom Mon 12-Nov-12 19:50:07

Um hes ok in bed, takes forever I think he might look at porn I don't know, insists on using sex toys all the time

WTF am I doing with him

HotDAMNlifeisgood Mon 12-Nov-12 19:50:38

Oh love. Dump him, and then re-set your radar. NO woman should be touching this man with a bargepole, and certainly not someone as lovely-sounding as you.

colditz Mon 12-Nov-12 19:50:57


izzyizin Mon 12-Nov-12 19:53:37

Even if you'd been seeing this prize for 6 years, I'd make an exception to my usual nod to common courtesy and advise you to dump him by text without further ado.

Given his prediliction for farting, dumping him by text will save you the neccessity of investing in ear plugs and a gas mask as your unwelcome news will no doubt cause him to fire off a veritable salvo of loud reports and noxious fumes.

On the other hand, if you decide to do it in person please invite stuff and me so we can --amuse ourselves- watch him hobble off with a scorched arse in those shoes grin

StrangeGlue Mon 12-Nov-12 19:56:40

These are not normal and you're not being picky!

1) So what you have to look forward to is him bitching whenever you spend your money and him blaming you when he has to part with any of his I'd expect if he's being this tight in the first few months. Do you wanna sit inside with the heating off for the rest of your life?

2) he thinks nothing of taking advantge of his own mum

3) He does things to repluse you on purpose??

4) Offensive and keeping you on your toes manipulative behaviour think

5) MASSIVE RED FLAG men who think all women want them are to be avoided! Oh yeah I'm so grateful you aren't shagging around I'm so lucky? Misogynist!

6) this is the only one which could be tolerated.

7) argh!


Offred Mon 12-Nov-12 19:58:41

I know this may be a novel concept but you can dump someone for any or no reason you like, you don't need permission or for them to be doing something bad.

That aside, he is a horrible nasty entitled little man, nevermind dumping him I don't understand how you can even tolerate him at all...

StrangeGlue Mon 12-Nov-12 19:59:54

Yes offers yes!!

Offred Mon 12-Nov-12 20:00:45

Single at 50, aversion to women, lives at home with his mother and obsessed with anal sex? hmm

helpyourself Mon 12-Nov-12 20:02:28

Why on earth are you with him? I can't think of any scenario in which any of those 'attributes' would be tolerable.

MoanerLeesa Mon 12-Nov-12 20:02:47

He is a misogynistic, disrespectful, controlling little creep. Run like the bloody wind and don't for a minute look back.

I have no doubt you can do much better!

janflan Mon 12-Nov-12 20:05:25

Sounds like an ex of mine too. I lasted a month before i ditched him.

I'd run as fast as you can!

scrapingbottom Mon 12-Nov-12 20:05:26

Thanks all

I expected a bit of a bolloxing, got it, probably what I need however

In my defence he was lovely at outset!

LivesInJeans Mon 12-Nov-12 20:07:56

I nearly posted last night my own thread wittering about my doubts about DP. Having read this I might propose to him.

Please dump him. He sound vile

izzyizin Mon 12-Nov-12 20:08:17

They always are, honey.

tethersend Mon 12-Nov-12 20:11:13

"as far as I know he had one long term 3 year relationship at age 40 then all v v v short term ones"

Because they were all bitches trying to get one over on him, perchance?

Don't feel bad, scraping- the only reason many of us recognise the signs is because we've been there. I know I have.

Congratulations on your soon-to-be-single life smile

NewRowSees Mon 12-Nov-12 20:13:01

Hopefully in another six months from now you'll look back and laugh at this temporary blip in your self-esteem. Congratulations for making the right decision!

ShipwreckedAndComatose Mon 12-Nov-12 20:14:14

No, you are not being to picky grin

Marzipanface Mon 12-Nov-12 20:16:25

Just awful. Even two or three of those 'qualities' would make me dump someone.

CaptainVonTrapp Mon 12-Nov-12 20:16:57

Run like the wind.

I feel really worried that you might stay with him. Please reassure me you are going to LTB.

izzyizin Mon 12-Nov-12 20:17:39

Such is our concerted opinion concern for you, honey, that we need to be reassured that you've divested yourself of this gross, in every sense of the word. liability.

To that end, I hope you'll report back as soon as you've done the deed.

stuffitunderthebed Mon 12-Nov-12 20:25:46

Oh OP, please let Izzy and I watch you burst his bubble grin. I don't know why it is, but the thought of those shoes is slaying me. There are far worse issues on that list but am ridiculously tickled by hobbling farty pants in stacked shoes. When are you binning Gary?

expatinscotland Mon 12-Nov-12 20:31:54

You are scraping the bottom with this one, alright.

Dump immediately. There is nothing lovely about this creature.

izzyizin Mon 12-Nov-12 20:34:02

GG came to my mind too, stuff - great ones and all that grin

In the ordinary course of events I'd offer to bring the marshmallows, but given this aged entitled knob's amour of all things arse I'd be reluctant to partake of anything toasted on his methane output.

carlywurly Mon 12-Nov-12 20:37:59

Ooh lordy, what a prize of a man grin

My skin is crawling reading your list. Dump, run, and put down to a 6 month lapse of judgment. No harm done. Don't do it again. smile

izzyizin Mon 12-Nov-12 20:40:32

scraping the bottom - surely there's a pun in there expat? confused

MagiMingeWassailsAgain Mon 12-Nov-12 20:42:13

Blimey he's a catch, isn't he.

You know, if you lived with him he would expect you to do all the things for him that his mother does now. plus bumsex

And he would be expecting you to pay the gas and electric because they were so much lower before you moved in.

Farting/saying cunt a lot/slagging off the woman - he does not respect you, or other women.

Disaster waiting to happen, get rid pronto.

Turniphead1 Mon 12-Nov-12 20:46:45

Dump and flee! But more importantly, take some time to reassess why you EVER thought you were worth nothing more than this man.

You say he was lovely to start with - but some of his characteristics must have come through fairly quickly. And you have wasted half a year on this moron. I say this not to be harsh but because I am worried that you must have incredibly low self-esteem to have even considered continuing this relationship. And in fact, listed this appalling personal characteristics as "irritations". And that you were only prompted to assess him when he was unwilling to meet your mother hmm.

You say you have had a hard time recently. You need to know that no woman should put up with that kind of cretin.

PiedWagtail Mon 12-Nov-12 20:47:19

Run for the hills! Any one of those things on your list would have me out that door.

JustFabulous Mon 12-Nov-12 20:54:16

What are you going to do, OP?

stuffitunderthebed Mon 12-Nov-12 21:00:11

Are you ok OP? Sorry for ripping you a wee bit. Unfair when you've posted for advice. Was just thrilled to be having banter with Izzy - I normally only ever 'see' her when I'm suicidal and posting about my DP! In all seriousness, don't be so hard on yourself. So he's awful and it's taken you a while to catch on. So what, you'll get there. Dump and move on. Make your list as you go along next time. You really will be fine.

CogitoErgoSometimes Mon 12-Nov-12 21:13:55

I'm amazed you've lasted six months. Tight, short, sexist, grumpy and randomly sweary.... and you say he hasn't had anything but a short relationship since age 40? Crazy...

HairyGrotter Mon 12-Nov-12 21:16:25

He wears built up shoes...HE WEARS BUILT UP SHOES...

OP, no, just NO. He sounds like a prize bellshine, get rid, and do it quick...Christ on an actual bike, I'd have a riot with that one

scrapingbottom Mon 12-Nov-12 21:21:27

Thanks all

Yes done it

Hes clinging..but if he were the catch he keeps saying he wouldn't so I feel ok

he did start out ok

ShipwreckedAndComatose Mon 12-Nov-12 21:22:47

Some one once described it to me as that point when the scales fall from your eyes..

Well done!!

dampfireworksinthegarden Mon 12-Nov-12 21:22:47

l think he sounds quite nice.

ok, ok, only pulling your leg.
dump and let us know when you have.

scrapingbottom Mon 12-Nov-12 21:23:01

I love love love this

Thank you

scrapingbottom Mon 12-Nov-12 21:23:49

sorry meant to add i love the hobbling along farty one, keep laughing!!

dampfireworksinthegarden Mon 12-Nov-12 21:23:51

x post. you already have dumped him grin

stuffitunderthebed Mon 12-Nov-12 21:24:16

They all start ok - you've had a lucky escape that he's displayed his true colours so early on - well before any real commitment etc. well done OP. proud of you, fast and decisive; well done you!

scrapingbottom Mon 12-Nov-12 21:27:36

No thank you all very much

Now have chocolate, film and pets with heating on and giggling somewhat over some of the messages

many many thanks


digerd Mon 12-Nov-12 21:33:21

I am stunned. My first reaction was that it must be a "joke", and am still wondering.? Don't like any of your numbers, but 4 & 5 are especially nasty, and the rest disgusting. I assumed he was a teenager/early 20s, not a mature 50 year-old. Irritated - I am appalled.

PopMusicShoobyDoobyDoA Mon 12-Nov-12 21:34:16

Yay! Finally, someone who actually did leave the bastard! On live chat. Not something you see everyday.

kissyfur Mon 12-Nov-12 21:50:25

Good for you OP! smile

izzyizin Mon 12-Nov-12 21:57:50

He's 'clinging'? O dear, having to prise their fingers off your ankles as you swan on to your infinitely brighter-without-them future is tres tedious - as soon as you've got one foot free, simply kick him in the teeth and hope the blood can easily be removed from your Manolo.

I'm immensely relieved you are laughing at the messages, honey, but are you laughing at ours which are laughing with you and not at you or his which will inevitably be taking the piss because that's what he does?

LivesInJeans Mon 12-Nov-12 22:01:09

This site never ceases to show up how much women will put up with. It is really sad.

Why? Why do we do it?

<high fives OP for NOT doing it>

ashesgirl Mon 12-Nov-12 22:03:07

You sound very together, OP. smile

This must be a record LTB actually.

He does sound bloody awful by the way.

aurynne Mon 12-Nov-12 22:11:45

I couldn't get over a 50 year old going for dinner at his mum's every night and having her do his laundry... Sorry, I would be laughing too hard just at that to find any other redeeming virtues of his (of which there don't seem to be many anyway) worthy of my time.

CaptainVonTrapp Mon 12-Nov-12 22:12:15

You've done it already?! Great work. Sounds like you've wasted enough time on this poor excuse for a man.

Good Luck.

hornetgirl Mon 12-Nov-12 22:13:26

Well done x

izzyizin Mon 12-Nov-12 22:32:38

With his qualities he's a shoe-in for this board's Most Repulsive Twat of the Year 2012 contest and I hereby nominate him forthwith.

Let him take his place among the other candidates until the jury returns a verdict early in the New Year.


DaveMccave Mon 12-Nov-12 22:39:22

He sounds vile. That is a LONG list of flaws for a 6 month relationship. I have been with my partner a year, and can't think of a single one.

I'm going to assume his mum is about 70? do you think it's right that he lets her do all his washing and cooking?! He should be looking after her, not using her. He's probably looking for a replacement in you... don't let it get to that point!

LivvyPsMum Mon 12-Nov-12 22:40:57

He sounds absolutely horrendous! I would rather be on my own for the rest of my life than be with a bloke like him. Eughhhh

ImperialBlether Mon 12-Nov-12 22:44:01

Good for you, OP! Have to say he's absolutely awful - how could you think of introducing him to your mum? Do you want to make her cry?

Turniphead1 Tue 13-Nov-12 08:23:18

OP don't fall into the trap of allowing contact on basis of staying friends (in case he worms his way back in).
Obviously , you are just so DEVASTATED that this prime example of manhood is not for you that it's best to cut all contact wink

When I see threads like this, I wonder why so many decent guys can be single for ages and guys like this seem to have no difficulty in finding relationships. Why would any sane person put up with that sort of crap for three months, let alone six.

Run away, run away.

TobyLerone Tue 13-Nov-12 09:03:46

He sounds AWFUL! Why is there even any question about whether or not you should be with him? Surely you're not that desperate?

"calls his boss female a slag and a c@@t and says she slept her way to top and wants him and i should be lucky he has morals??"

Deal-breaker. Anyone who talks about any woman like this is a misogynist and should be booted out.

Sorry, posted that before reading the rest - well done OP smile.

BertieBotts Tue 13-Nov-12 09:09:33

Gives her something to do shock !!

So women really don't have any lives, desires or thoughts of their own unless it's about housework, or looking after their husbands/children?? You do realise this will be how he thinks of YOU if you ever get married?


BertieBotts Tue 13-Nov-12 09:11:59

Sorry I know you've already said you'll call it off but I was so taken aback at that grin

Rest assured I have put up with similar and worse in the past - you're not alone. But be assured that it's absolutely not worth it in the long run - there's no such thing as a fixer-upper in relationships. Hang around here for a while and your standards will become higher and higher and this is only a good thing.

bumhead Tue 13-Nov-12 09:21:13

Well done for dumping him!

What a repulsive little man.

From the list you wrote, he not only needed to be dumped but put to sleep as well!


I was thinking the same assuming his mum is in her late 70's if not 80's why would you think it acceptable for him to allow her to do his washing and cooking. He should be doing it for her not.

ashesgirl Tue 13-Nov-12 09:33:47

It's wimmin's work, innit?

myview Tue 13-Nov-12 09:38:58

I'm a bloke, dump this loser in a hurry, change your phone number, move house. Seriously, bin him now

pinklady1107 Tue 13-Nov-12 09:45:50

Only read first post - my instinct would be to get out. Sorry x

ThereGoesTheYear Tue 13-Nov-12 10:57:57

Well done op! You're a lot quicker on the uptake than i was...

CogitoErgoSometimes Tue 13-Nov-12 11:22:24

Remember when Danny De Vito played the disgusting 'Penguin' in a Batman movie? 'Oswald Cobblepot'? This guy could be his stunt-double....

samandi Tue 13-Nov-12 12:47:57

I think you're being too picky OP. You've got a catch there!

samandi Tue 13-Nov-12 12:49:00

Aw, you let him go :-(

JustFabulous Tue 13-Nov-12 12:51:44

I suggest you treat yourself with he money you would have spent on him for Christmas. And then spend it again grin.

Anniegetyourgun Tue 13-Nov-12 12:57:00

A guy can't help being short. He can help all the rest of it though.

Hey, now he'll be free to get it together with that female boss, so he too can sleep his way to the top. That's nice.

LessMissAbs Tue 13-Nov-12 12:59:10

Did he have any good points? Beyond being alive and being single, which is all I've read from you so far. So many of those list would be grounds for turning him down. Why on earth did you go out with him in the first place? How on earth does a man like that get a girlfriend?? Where did you meet him?

ZombieOnABicycle Tue 13-Nov-12 13:17:36

Well done for getting rid - you should be so proud of yourself.

Take some time to focus on yourself so you don't end up with someone like him again.

WakeyCakey Tue 13-Nov-12 18:35:47

I have been having a bit of a giggle reading all this. Such a breath of fresh air to know the bastard has been left.
Don't think I will ever stop laughing at his built up shoes. grin
Glad you did it OP, you can name change now to
'NoOneIsScrapingMyBottoNow' wink

olgaga Tue 13-Nov-12 18:47:08

Come on! This has got to be a wind-up right?

Please tell me it's a wind-up. Please...

LordLurkin Tue 13-Nov-12 20:07:46

So lets get this right.

1) He is unbelievably tight. Probs will never take you out and will leach off of you for all its worth.

2) At 50 years old dosent cook and wash his own clothes even though he lives away from his parents. Not much needs saying here tbh, but he sounds like the kind of man would expect a partner to wait on him hand and foot.

3)The whole farting thing. Just silly and juvenile.

4) Continuous muttering of "fucking cunt" while out. Just who is he actualy insulting, and if he thinks random people are cunts then what level of opinion is reserved for those close to him after a disagreement?

5) Female boss is a slag and cunt who got there by sleeping with people and wants him bad. So he dislikes women being a success and thinks that its only possible for her to have got there by using sex? And he lives in a fantasy realm where he thinks he is some kind of addonis like sex god.

6) The whole built up shoe and hight thing. He has issues with his hight and feels threatened that you as a woman are taller than him?

7) Obsessed with anal sex. Has boundary issues and a lack of respect for you and your body?

8) Controlling bossy and hates you letting your hair down and is paranoid that you are eyeing up other men. BOSSY AND CONTROLLING = RUN!

Put this man down to experience and get out before he becomes even more of a royal PITA. This bloke is an utter tool im afraid and is never going to be good in the long term.

ChicMama25 Tue 13-Nov-12 20:09:49

The built up shoes.. I am imagining an old, ugly Tom Cruise

TDada Tue 13-Nov-12 20:21:58

This must be a joke

Anniegetyourgun Tue 13-Nov-12 21:26:48

Erm, I married somebody who wasn't a million miles from this description, so I do believe the OP. blush

ZombieOnABicycle Wed 14-Nov-12 09:07:35

I'm with Annie - age aside most of those points describe my ex husband - not sure why I was with him for 8 years.

He also had the platform shoes (and serious height issues), and in a fit of jealousy one night went through my wardrobe and burnt every shoe I owned with a heal (no matter how small)

WineGoggles Wed 14-Nov-12 09:14:12

"The built up shoes.. I am imagining an old, ugly Tom Cruise"
LOL. Did he look like this OP?

pictish Wed 14-Nov-12 09:16:00

Thank God - he sounds quite horrendous. Good for you OP.

DinosaursOnASpaceship Wed 14-Nov-12 09:25:26

If it wasnt for the age difference I would be pmming you to ask if we had the same ex shock glad you ended it.

redadmiralsinthegarden Wed 14-Nov-12 09:55:48

how are you doing, OP? haven't heard from you for a while.
Hopefully you are busy doing young, free and single things wink

helpyourself Wed 14-Nov-12 12:00:28

Hope you're well op. thanks

hotcrossbun99 Wed 14-Nov-12 15:32:23

I'm surprised you lasted 6 months to be honest. I think he's using you in the same way he's using his mum. Yuck.

scrapingbottom Wed 14-Nov-12 16:34:07


I am fine, thanks for all your messages.

No really wasn't a wind up I'm afraid.

olgaga Wed 14-Nov-12 21:40:03

Ok apologies OP hope you have found the support you needed! You have a whole life ahead of you - make it yours.

ThePathanKhansWitch Wed 14-Nov-12 22:00:47

he was lovely at the start

What start? Conception? grin

Sounds like a man only his mother could love. Great escape for you.

tabbycat15 Thu 15-Nov-12 04:51:33

God he sounds awful, find someone else.

FlorentinePogen Thu 15-Nov-12 06:20:14

Christ on a bike shock.........(In a Mrs. Merton stylee..) "Scraping, , what attracted you to the tight-fisted, free-loading, farting, sweary, misogynistic, built-up shoe wearing, butthole surfing, control freak millionaire in the first place ?"


CindySherman Thu 15-Nov-12 07:58:45

Where on earth did you meet him OP?

riveroise Thu 15-Nov-12 08:04:17

Yea, tell us so we can avoid!

CindySherman Thu 15-Nov-12 09:11:13

grin and warn all our girlfriends to avoid !

digerd Thu 15-Nov-12 09:40:21

Love your last sentence - made me laugh on this dreary foggy morning and watching Jeremy Kyle

Cantbelieveitsnotbutter Thu 15-Nov-12 09:55:49

If he doesn't want to meet your mum then I hate to say it but it doesn't sound like his hearts in it.
As for the other stuff, that just adds to how quick you should be running

FlorentinePogen Thu 15-Nov-12 10:03:43

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