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Twitter/facebook I love you's?

(59 Posts)
donotsquandertime Mon 01-Oct-12 20:35:33

Just curious really, if any of you have twitter or facebook do you message your partner in the day with I love you's/make statements on twitter sort of " I am so lucky have best husband" type of thing, norm or not ?

missymoomoomee Mon 01-Oct-12 20:39:38

This makes me absolutely cringe.

You could text/message/phone/wait to say it in person, why do it in public. I think I must be abnormal though since nearly everyone I know does it.

snowmummy Mon 01-Oct-12 20:41:13

I have a facebook and a twitter account but I don't see the need to use it to leave I love you messages for my husband. I see him everyday, and I can tell him then if I want. IMO those types of message are aimed at everyone else not the hubby, in a 'my life is so great, aren't you envious' sort of way. Cynical? Me?

greeneyed Mon 01-Oct-12 20:41:16

Pass me a bucket

picnicbasketcase Mon 01-Oct-12 20:41:38

I think it's rather exhibitionist. Text or ring and say it, there's no need to display it to everyone you know. I have people in my list who do it all the time and I can't work out why they need 600 other people to see it.

madonnawhore Mon 01-Oct-12 20:41:45

I always assume people who do this have shitty relationships.

snowmummy Mon 01-Oct-12 20:43:36

Yep me too madonnawhore

madonnawhore Mon 01-Oct-12 20:44:52

In fact I have one friend who does this all the time. And I know she and her husband have been on the verge of splitting up numerous times. Her husband's a total cock.

donotsquandertime Mon 01-Oct-12 20:49:12

Oh phew thought it was just me and you were all going to say "how romantic", I find it very odd I have a friend who constantly makes statements about how privileged she is to have such a fab husband I am very hmm

lisaro Mon 01-Oct-12 20:54:46

No, I finished puberty years ago. wink

TakeMyEyesButNotTheGoat Mon 01-Oct-12 20:57:56

Someone I know who is a friend of a friend (I also used to hang around with her years ago, she's a bit flaky) always gushes about her wonderful Husband. I mean on a daily basis.

I'm always hmm because I know for a fact she shags around behind his back!

Over compensating IMO!

BizarreLoveTriangle Mon 01-Oct-12 20:59:54

Aimed at everybody but the husband.

bushymcbush Mon 01-Oct-12 21:01:27

My DH insists on sending me vom inducing FB messages on our anniversary. I have to force myself to return the favour because he'd be really hurt if I didn't, but it makes me want to eat my own head when he does it.

Things he says to me that no one else can hear mean infinitely more. On FB it feels like it's all for show.

I really did have to have a quiet word with him the time he referred to me as 'hunni' on FB. Nipped that in the bud sharpish.

donotsquandertime Mon 01-Oct-12 21:08:12

haha bushy yes that is a bit much could be worse could be the dreaded "babe"
smile

I had to hide BIL and he ghastly girlfriend because of this kind of stuff. One day I counted and they'd said "I love you baby" or some variation SEVENTEEN times. <boak>

missymoomoomee Mon 01-Oct-12 21:13:55

Its even worse when couples do 'check ins' on facebook from their bed.

missymoomoomee Mon 01-Oct-12 21:13:56

Its even worse when couples do 'check ins' on facebook from their bed.

tzella Mon 01-Oct-12 21:21:55

My (genuinely beautiful) cousin does this but only twice a year. On her birthday (posts pics of a billion red roses and says how much she <3 him) or their anniversary (post pics of some jewelry and says how much she <3 him). She also posts pics of how she's painted her nails to match her floor mop.

I am secretly vvv envy that she's so happy but forgive her as she's an absolute sweetheart. Less nice people can FOAD angry

stifnstav Mon 01-Oct-12 21:32:28

I had a rant about the exact same thing on my blog a few weeks ago.

I shall c&p:

There’s those irritating instances of congratulating people who are not on Facebook ON FACEBOOK. They can’t see it so why are you doing that?!

“Happy Anniversary to my gorgeous (or gawjus… cringe) husband/wife, love you babes/hun”, usually accompanied by the obligatory photo of whatever generic gift they bought.

If I can see that your spouse is not on Facebook and therefore cannot see your gushing message, why have you done that? Is it for my benefit and that of 400 strangers? Are you over-compensating or what?

If anything, these unilateral public displays of affection suggest to the reader that something is amiss in your relationship. You are telling the world that everything is fabulous. You are not saying it to the person who you should be saying it to. Because they aren’t on Facebook!

It’s only about the appearance of your relationship to others and it’s nothing to do with whether your relationship actually reflects what you’re saying to the world.

I can imagine the conversation: “Darling, I put a message on Facebook saying happy anniversary to you, but you won’t have seen it because you aren’t on Facebook”.

Spouse: “Er, ok. Thanks for that.” Spouse then wonders whether they were meant to put a message on Twitter, even though the other half is not on Twitter.

Anyway, please feel free to share a link to this blog if you love someone, even if that person doesn’t know how to work the internet.

Mylittlepuds Mon 01-Oct-12 21:37:35

It's awful. My DH sent on FB but why feel you need to do it a public forum? A friend, who is becoming increasingly annoying and might soon be an ex friend, does this. Things like "Today is the the day I met my best friend and I've never been happier in all my life smile)))))) xxxxxx". She then tags her husband.

The truth is though not sooo long ago she was on the verge of having an affair and was thinking about ending things. I reckon this is often the reality with these couples - why else the big display? Nothing makes me cringe more. Why not just tell your DH privately? Why? Why?!! I'm getting wound up thinking about it.

Ditto the people that use FB to tell their children how much they love them/wish them happy birthday etc etc Eh?! They can't hear you you dick. Sorry.

lisaro Mon 01-Oct-12 21:43:00

I'll don my hard hat here. It's akin to people 'renewing' their wedding vows (that don't actually run out). Most people just wonder which of them cheated.

browniebear Mon 01-Oct-12 21:45:11

On a similar note I can never fathom why some people put things like 'ds/dd is adorable, love you so much sweetheart'

When their ds/dd is about 2 and would have no idea about Facebook.
We all love our children that's obvious but there's just no need to constantly remind everyone that you still love them

flowerygirl Mon 01-Oct-12 21:47:11

Haha missymoomoomee, I can't stand it when people do bed check ins!

I also can't stand it when people post photos of gifts! They may as well upload a photo of the receipt...

There's one woman on my facebook who is always gushing about her husband 'aww I wish hubby would wake up so I can have a cuddle'. PASS ME THE SICK BUCKET! I would unfriend her but I keep her on for entertainment value!

Oh god the check-ins! They do this too!

Probably outing myself here, as I can't see ANYONE else doing this ever! But once she tagged him in a check-in....IN THE BATH!

LilPud Mon 01-Oct-12 22:01:01

And don't forget the pics of what they had for tea, tag the dh and he comments 'yum, my wife is the best cook ever'

Mylittlepuds Mon 01-Oct-12 22:02:46

Don't get me started about FB bragging. It's the root of all evil. "thank you to my wonderful son who treated his mummy to a Gucci handbag for Mother's Day." Said son is 2. Yuck. WTF is the point of this? Even people that say things like "So excited to go away for the weekend with my gorgeous hubby.". Why do we all need to know? And why do we need to see pictures of your breakfast. Weird, pathetic. I'm coming off FB. It's bullshit.

missymoomoomee Mon 01-Oct-12 22:06:14

THE BATH???????? shock

I agree about the photos of gifts, one of my friends does this, even with a £2.99 bunch of half dead flowers and she types things like - oh ma man luvs me sooooooooooooo much I'll have a speshul treat for him l8r ;).

The same friend also takes a photo of every meal she cooks him with a rundown of what it is and how long it took her to make it 'Ma man is sooooo lucky, tonight its steak and onion pie, cooked for 30 mins with hand chopped cauli, hand mashed potatoes with cream all covered in hand whisked beef gravy with ice cream for puddin'. I'm sure no-one except those two give a shit about what they are having for tea.

flowerygirl Mon 01-Oct-12 22:12:01

I would still take annoying declarations of love any day over the 'vague' statuses always appearing on my feed!

E.g 'Louise just heard some VERY interesting news'

cue loads of comments 'oh hun, tell us the news' and then she'll say 'no I have to keep it a secret'

Urgh!

Mylittlepuds Mon 01-Oct-12 22:13:15

God she sounds like a right c*ck missy

Mylittlepuds Mon 01-Oct-12 22:15:02

Yes Flower or "there are some jealous people out there - revenge is sweet." Stop talking in bloody riddles. Get a grip.

greeneyed Mon 01-Oct-12 22:15:16

Yeah don't get the cooking bragging and pictures of the meal I have a friend who does this all the time. Worse still the aren't I a great parent bragging - I'm so proud little Jonny just ate his who body weight in Kale, Bulgar Wheat whatever. Here's a picture of the busy box activity I made for my toddler to play with today, I'd like to take said toddler to the cinema but we don't have a telly so no idea what he'd like to see - what are you looking for a bloody medal!! Rant over.

MimiSunshine Mon 01-Oct-12 22:15:40

Gushing about or to your other half is definitely over compensating. In the instance I know of, one was having an emotional affair and the other found out. After lots of councling they stayed together and now it's near daily postings about how gorgeous / wonderful / amazing... Their other half is.
It fools no one except maybe themselves

StaceeJaxx Mon 01-Oct-12 22:18:09

madonnawhore I think you're right.

A few years ago me and DH were going through an awful time in our relationship (we almost split up), and we would do stuff like that quite frequently. We'd never done it before , and since we're ok now we haven't done it since either. it makes me cringe when I think back to what we used to write. blush

Mylittlepuds Mon 01-Oct-12 22:18:29

Pfft at 'but we don't have a telly,". Am starting to feel purged.

missymoomoomee Mon 01-Oct-12 22:21:57

She is mylittle they split for a while and she played the whole thing out over fb, even regarding the kids, she would tell everyone when he gave/didn't give money, did/didn't show up, if he was out, if she was out, even things like 'Ooooh cosy night in with wine, a takeaway and a male friend for company'. Then after slagging him off for 4 months solid announced they were back together and had a go at anyone who said anything against him. Thankfully she is one of those 'friend of a friend' type people, and one of the many reasons I deactivated my FB and became addicted to mumsnet instead

flowerygirl Mon 01-Oct-12 22:25:11

Another annoying one is those 'countdown to our wedding' apps. I had a few friends from school getting married over the summer and everyday I would get 5 postings saying 'it's 5 days, 3 hours, 4 mins and 20 secs until I marry my best friend'

AWFUL!

I hope none of you are talking about me! I thought you'd be interested in the nice meal I cooked my hubby on our anniversary, and I do love him. grin

Don't do check ins though.

LilPud Mon 01-Oct-12 22:29:40

I have one friend who is guilty of all of the above - everyday it's love you husband', 'here's my lunch', 'my son is soo clever', I'm making tea, I'm at the gym ...... And then the vague stuff 'omg' 'bad stuff coming' and no response to all the 'hope you're ok' stuff. Does my head in.

Heleninahandcart Mon 01-Oct-12 22:32:37

"Had the best curry tonight, eva"
"Fank ooo"
"Aww, fank ooo babes" <boak>
Now I know these two are in the same room, lounging on the same bed.

greeneyed Mon 01-Oct-12 22:38:46

Yes the attention seeking vague comments about something disastrous then no follow up, why?

MsKayGee Mon 01-Oct-12 23:15:08

My favourite status updates are...

"On my way to A&E with my poorly baby."
They can't be that ill and it's not exactly an emergency if you've got the time/inclination to update your status.

"I'm so upset/pissed off/angry/depressed"
Cue 20 people responding "Awww Hun what's up".
"I can't say on here/I'll pm you"
ATTENTION WHORE grin

"Sick of bitchy people. If you've got something to say, say it to my face".
Really? How about you practice what you preach.

greeneyed Tue 02-Oct-12 08:28:15

Mskay - agree with all of the above!!!

stifnstav Wed 03-Oct-12 08:00:28

"Like this photo if you love your kids". Er, no. Don't think that really counts as love/parenting/anything your kid will give a shiny shit about.

newmum001 Wed 03-Oct-12 08:18:03

No, a woman i used to work with and her boyfriend do it several times a day.

"who lus ya bubs"
"luv ya right back sugartits
"we are mint yeah, FACT!"

Vom!!!!

dondon33 Wed 03-Oct-12 17:48:47

smile smile I'm pissing myself at most of your posts. A lot are my own particular irritants on FB

Both me and DP have accounts on FB, not used very often but occasionally when DP has been on he'll post an "I luv u" but in his native language so no one understands it anyway smile but we don't do "gushing" "what's been eaten at dinner" or check ins.

I particularly detest the ones, usually about suffering an illness, that say I know my friends won't repost this even just for 1 minute...... If you know then why fecking tag it to my wall and expect people to then??

dondon33 Wed 03-Oct-12 17:53:52

Oh thought of another that boils my piss....Childish 20/30 some things that update relationship statuses after EVERY minor frigging argument.
I had a FB friend who done it almost on a weekly basis - she is 34 FFS not 14.

madonnawhore Wed 03-Oct-12 17:57:49

I unfriended someone the other day who kept posting pics of her children when they were ill. I found it very odd. Poor little Johnny* tucked up in bed with vomiting and a fever. Spotty Jenny* covered in calamine and feeling terrible with the chicken pox.

Weird. She did it so often it started to seem like a 'thing'.

*Not their real names obviously.

I have never yet looked at DH FB.

Why would I, he's here in front of me.

Tigresswoods Wed 03-Oct-12 18:28:12

Ha I am friends on FB with a bloke I used to be at school with. He was always posting on there how much he loved his wife. They separated a few months ago.

greeneyed Wed 03-Oct-12 18:56:35

Yeah detest the 90 % of my friends won't repost this posts no you're right we won't! Also hate pictures of home improvements, I.e here's a picture of my new bathroom, fireplace etc, I get loads of these at the moment. Nothing could be more dull!

missymoomoomee Wed 03-Oct-12 19:04:07

Oh yes, before I left FB there must have been at least 5 people every day posting something along the lines of - 'like this post if you want to find a cure for cancer'. Liking a bloody post isn't going to do anything about finding a cure for cancer, and just because I didn't click 'like' it doesn't mean I don't want a cure for it.

Soon the christmas tree pictures will be up, so glad I deactivated.

LemonDrizzled Wed 03-Oct-12 19:43:40

Are these FB communicators the same people who put messages to their dead relatives in the local paper? (Which presumably is avidly read in the next life)

They clearly feel very strongly and passionately about their loved ones, but lack a way to communicate so use FB or the paper to express themselves. I read them and feel sad/pitying/nauseated depending on my mood.

I'm with Ian Hiscock and prefer the Stiff Upper Lip myself!

flowerygirl Thu 04-Oct-12 22:14:15

I think if someone changes their relationship more than 5 times with the same person, it should automatically update to 'unstable'

AberdeenAnxious Thu 04-Oct-12 22:49:47

I also dislike the gushing 'I love you' statuses too. I have a couple of friends who do it on birthdays and anniversaries and such like.

My dh occasionally send me an 'I love you' private message, but that's only when he's working away and no one else can see it.

Mind you, I'd rather people gushed about their husbands than Mr fucking Grey... hmm

AberdeenAnxious Thu 04-Oct-12 22:50:58

Hmm, didn't need 'also' and 'too' in the same sentence!

dondon33 Fri 05-Oct-12 03:31:00

Hmm, didn't need 'also' and 'too' in the same sentence! smile smile
You're forgiven- it's just the sheer frustration of FB smile

Flowergirl PMSL, although it sounds like a very good FB "cause" or "petition"
I actually would like and click smile I would quite like a whogivesafuck button too.

Berniebennett Fri 05-Oct-12 05:46:37

I agree with all the above it's so infuriating! Even when my partner was on your of afghan we rarely had public displays of emotions (unless it was an accident) we always sent messages private, as I messages him every day!

Luckily I have a fab group of friends who would jump straight on the post saying something like,pass me the sick bucket, so it wouldn't have the desired effect of wanting approval from them, bless!

ChristineDaae Fri 05-Oct-12 06:17:55

Mrskaygee* I think we must share a FB friend! I had this recently too, down to posting a pic of the hospital chair they were sleeping in. WTF?!!
My worst FB friend for this is actually someone I'm close with in real life. Every week she does and excercise class and EVERY week we get an update in the class and how her amazing/gorgeous boyfriend had a bath waitin when she got home. Err actually I know he's a complete dick to you, he could never be seen as gorgeous. And the bath thing - we know he does it EVERY FUCKING WEEK!!!!angry

snuffaluffagus Fri 05-Oct-12 16:41:50

I usually just post "blurk" under such status updates. Fortunately only a couple of my friends do it.

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