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support for emotional eaters!!

(149 Posts)
DippyDoohdah Mon 06-Aug-12 20:22:42

Having had some really solid support on MN, I thought itwould be worth seeing if there are many other women who find themselves eating in order to occupy their minds, temporarily console themselves and to keep feelings pushed down!? Its got to the point where I have gone from voluptuous to matronly..not feeling my za za zing anymore! Really need to address weight for my health.its the evenings where I sit and pick, think, and also the evenings when I go on I thought, combine the two, and anyone else who sees something like this in themselves? Maybe we can support each

DippyDoohdah Mon 06-Aug-12 21:19:27

Anyone? Or is it just me?! biscuit

BonkeyHasGOLDMollocks Mon 06-Aug-12 21:20:38

You might find you get some more support over in the Big/slim/whatever topic smile

Concentrateonthegood Mon 06-Aug-12 21:22:06

Oh thank god someone has posted on this subject. Not just you, me too and at the moment, my eating is out of control. A mental health professional friend has suggested I go to the doctors and get help for my depression and maybe putting me on Prozac can have a calming effect of this type of behaviour. I get low grade depression but been struggling since Christmas and it's not leaving me but the weight is creeping up.

skyebluesapphire Mon 06-Aug-12 21:23:51

I've lost three stone on the " my husband walked out" diet, but am still I erweight, could do with losing at least another three... I was pleased to lose it but now some evenings I do pick at stuff (currently munching a bag of revels blush )

I need to lose more, not put more back on!

javotte Mon 06-Aug-12 21:24:07

I am an emotional eater. I've lost (and put back on) between 300 and 400lbs in the past 11 years. I know if I eat because I'm hungry or because I'm upset / bored / sad, but I cannot stop. I'm pregnant so no dieting, but I'd love to lose 40-50lbs after baby is born.
I'm a SAHM and a bit of a work widow ATM so I'm often on MN.

DippyDoohdah Mon 06-Aug-12 21:43:40

bonkey thanks..could not find anywhere like that but as a few replies now and as I very much see it tied up to struggling to deal with feelings over relationships, may let it float here x
Concentrate..glad I started thread then! I have had Prozac before. It did help to suppress appetite, although prescribed for depression, but personally I decided it was not the best long term for me.could certainly be worth a try, especially if getting worse.I read a book called "women, food and God"
Its not religious actually but is about emotional eating..maybe I should get it out again!
Skye that's a horrible way for you to have to lose weight..of you are on your own on the evening its harder to,I am and that's when I have no social inhibitions!
Bless you's good to be aware of but most important now is being healthy for you and your baby
Are you going to bf? That always helps waistlines!
I am just trying to zone out of a stressful job, being in my own with 2 young dcs, having night mare neighbours and no social life! I want to get my focus back..have lost three stone I feel in control of life again, then maybe I will have energy to jump on Wii fit!

BeatriceBean Mon 06-Aug-12 21:46:35

I am v overwieght and certainly eat for emotional reasons. I know I need to sort those out rather than "diet" as such but not entirely sure how...!

I'm not very happy at the moment, chronically tired, alone with 2 kids a lot...

fhdl34 Mon 06-Aug-12 21:50:34

I'm an emotional eater but getting pregnant last year after 4 years TTC just seemed to flick a switch in my brain and I didn't need to do it anymore. I worried the desire would return after my DD arrived and it did. I've slipped a few times but am so much better than I was. Pre-pregnancy I weighed 23st and I managed to pretty much stick to that weight during pregnancy, save a few lbs at the end. I've now lost 5 stone through breastfeeding and healthy eating but every day I get the urge to binge around mid afternoon until I go to bed. Although I've lost a lot, I still need to lose about another 8-9 stone to be in a healthy weight range but right now I'm concentrating on eating healthy (helps that my DD is weaning right now and so I want to eat healthy with her) and if I decide to have chocolate or crisps I'm making different choices (a chomp bar instead of a 150g bar of chocolate, baked wotsits instead of walkers crisps). I was about to write that this really isn't like me but why the hell shouldn't it be me? I don't want to pass my bad habits to my daughter, I want her to have a sensible attitude to food and not need food as a crutch as I do.
I think about food all the time, it's a struggle everyday not to buy a big cake (at the moment my thoughts are consumed with cake) but I finally got what I wanted, I am a mum and I want to enjoy it. We're doing BLW and thinking that my DD should eat what I eat stops me eating rubbish at the moment and if I have a chocolate bar, I won't eat it in front of her. She's only 7 months at the moment and she will no doubt try chocolate before long but at the moment trying to establish healthy foods.
Thanks for starting this thread

javotte Mon 06-Aug-12 21:50:57

dippydoohdah I've been breatsfeeding non-stop since 2007! (I'm expecting DC3). It does help a lot, especially in the first weeks / months after birth when I feel a little high and tend to undereat, but I always revert to my binge-eating mode.
I am very overweight but luckily I'm having a textbook pregnancy.
Good night to you all!

skyebluesapphire Mon 06-Aug-12 22:01:27

When I gave birth I was 10kg lighter than when I got pregnant due to severe morning sickness and loss of appetite.

My H walked out at Easter and my appetite vanished. I lost three stone in three months.

hatesponge Mon 06-Aug-12 22:08:20

I'm an emotional eater. My ExP was abusive, in 7 years with him I put on 7 stone.

I managed to lose almost 5 stone last year, but the ongoing utter disaster that is my love life means I have put at least a stone of that back on now.

I got binned off by my latest 'interest' by text today which has caused me to eat (among other stuff) 3 bags of crisps, 2 chocolate doughnuts and a (small) bag of Minstrels blush I'd eat more if there was anything left. It's the only thing that makes me feel, if not happy, then at least a bit better sad

DippyDoohdah Mon 06-Aug-12 22:16:20

Beatrice..looks like you and I are on very similar pages! Am starting counselling on Thursday, although am finding MN very helpful for the issues that ate getting me down too
Fhdl..thanks for your post.sound like you have done amazingly and are obviously inspired by your ds.really mum is an emotional eater and I think (without blaming her as she is also fab) that I have learnt from her to an's an attitude isn't it? If someone is low, if it's a celebration, just about any reason, she shows her caring by giving food.the gap between me and her used to be about 7 stone, but I have increase and she has decreased and we are about a stone you are doing hoops by your ds to start showing her different messages..maybe "fake it till you feel it" will work for you and you will take up your own lead.night girls!

fhdl34 Mon 06-Aug-12 22:35:40

You're so right dippy, any emotion can be a reason to eat for me. I was in counselling before I got pregnant, trying desparately to resolve why I eat like I do. I just couldn't get anywhere near the nuts and bolts of it. I was so used to automatically eating to stuff those feelings down that I didn't even know what they were, I still don't! I just knew they were so awful and terrifying I couldn't bear them. I was so happy to be pregnant and that I didn't celebrate by eating. It was like because I was told I wouldn't conceive naturally, because I did, that was what I needed to know and at that point, it was enough to stop me doing it.
But now every day I think about food in an unhealthy way, I just rarely act on it. I told my counsellor that I thought I'd end up back there some day to resolve these issues but once I got pregnant, I wanted to enjoy that like a normal person would, not an overweight emotional eater so I stopped the counselling. I came off my ADs around the same time, I'd been on them about 4 years. I take one day at a time, it's hard but you're right, at the moment my daughter inspires me.

DippyDoohdah Mon 06-Aug-12 22:36:38

Aagh hatesponge, if he did that by text he was not worthy of a relationship any way! Know what you mean about feeling better/distracted, but then for me it's later when I see bits wobbling that should not be there,I get cross with myself for worsening my situation again!

hatesponge Mon 06-Aug-12 22:41:27

I get cross with myself too, but I find it's a vicious circle, the crosser I get, the sadder I feel and the more I want to eat.

I know when I was with ExP and we argued, and I got upset I would eat almost until I was sick just to stop it all hurting.

What scares me most now is putting back on all the weight I lost last year. I keep planning to go running in the evenings but never do, it's easier to sit on the sofa, feel sad and eat. Not good sad

DippyDoohdah Tue 07-Aug-12 06:23:41

Could you not just break it down to easier steps?..go out for a walk this evening and have a bit more of a think about the pattern you are in, how it leaves you feeling and then think about how it feels to be out walking? this a few times and then, when ready, turn it into a light jog.make mountains into little series of hills to climb... No pressure to run yet.x

Alliwantisaroomsomewhere Tue 07-Aug-12 07:47:02

I need to join here, too.....sad

Will be back a bit later.

javotte Tue 07-Aug-12 07:49:48

hatesponge I'm so sorry! I agree that going for a simple walk may be a good idea. Being outside can be very helpful. 9 years ago I put on 70lbs in 3 months (eating about 10,000kcal/day) and I managed to broke the cycle by going for a daily walk.
dippy I also think I got my unhealthy attitude to food from my mother. Mine is borderline anorexic.

Firebird20 Tue 07-Aug-12 10:05:56

I didn't find Prozac did anything to supress my appetite or emotional eating but maybe it will work for others.

SoleSource Tue 07-Aug-12 11:19:22

Emotional eater here too. I am going to join AA even tgough I am not a drinker of alcohol as I have heard over eaters use it too.

Guiltypleasures001 Tue 07-Aug-12 11:54:05

Hi ladies can I join?

I am in the final stages of training to be a counsellor, and with my own personal therapy I have worked out that I comfort eat. it goes in stages so I should say I binge.

I moved to an area to be close to parents because they retired, and I have 1 son their only grandchild ( im an only child) and I barely know anyone, hence I have found myself over the last 4 years of living here practicly institutionalised.
It's so much easier to stay in and do what I call potter around, and if you do it for long enough, the weeks months fly by. I get out and about now, but still not as much as I used to and the weight has now got out of control for me, I am gutted and have no idea what to do about it a anymore.

Cant seem to find the mojo to deal with it, its like this mountain that is so huge now I have no will to look at it yet alone tackle it sad

I was always a lot slimmer when single, and thought it was the men fuckwits that I was with, but have a lovely 2nd dh who worships the ground I walk on, but still cant get my head around my diet blush

anyway hi from me grin

Guiltypleasures001 Tue 07-Aug-12 11:58:08

Oh please dont tell me I have killed another thread, seems to be a habit of mine

SoleSource Tue 07-Aug-12 12:07:50

Guilty maybe someone ate it lol

fhdl34 Tue 07-Aug-12 12:12:04

Hi guiltypleasure I haven't binged in ages but the urge is there everyday. I'm working on not feeling guilty if I have a piece of cake or chocolate bar. Is your DH big? Mine is and whilst I've managed to persevere with the work I started on my portion control when I was pregnant, he still binges to some extent. We used to do it together but now I always keep my daughter in mind, I won't eat like that in front of her, just Hope I can keep it up. Have you had any counselling for yourself?

Guiltypleasures001 Tue 07-Aug-12 12:17:32

Hi fhd,

Yes i have had 32 sessions lol its part of my training etc.

I dont do any excercise really, I get rhuematiod arthritus a lot this can cause pains everywhere, and is especially set off by stress. Family life is good child and hubs are fab, but me rolls eyes, feels like I'm hitting the self destruct button sometimes. It's like that doctor heal thyself scenario, I am a counsellor to be, and cant seem to sort my one big problem which is my weight.

Dh could do with losing some weight, he has got bigger we both have since we got together, a lot of it is down to laziness i think, and taking the easier option.

javotte Tue 07-Aug-12 12:32:16

guilty and fhdl my husband is skinny. He comes from a country where food was scarce when he grew up and he simply cannot comprehend eating disorders. I think he'd be less puzzled if I was addicted to alcohol or gambling. We never discuss it but I suspect he believes I'm just greedy and lazy.

DippyDoohdah Tue 07-Aug-12 12:39:09

Ditto javotte ! He would probably think an opium habit more understandable !grin. Although they have a saying which makes your fill at breakfast, share lunch with friends and give your evening meal to your enemy.(now giving self a good telling off for those those big evening dinners..)

Concentrateonthegood Tue 07-Aug-12 12:40:52

Dippy, definitely pleased you started this thread and also that you put it here. Just so sad that so many of us are blighted by the same problem.

Sponge, I often dip into the dating thread and keep up with what's going on and I'm sorry about the latest "interest". I've found that this dating business is what has triggered my issues off again. You've done amazingly well losing the weight that you have done and you just need to remind yourself that you did it for you.

Anyway, onwards, going to meet a nice guy that I've been talking to for a couple of weeks and he likes his women big and beautiful so I'm trying to like myself for what and who I am today and low and behold, I haven't eaten badly but sensibly today.

Good luck everyone!

DippyDoohdah Wed 08-Aug-12 07:48:51

Good for you, concentrate, hope it goes well!
Relaxing is key am sure.I just keep putting fresh starts off until tomorrow, which.never.comes!

janajos Wed 08-Aug-12 08:13:50

I had begun to despair until I went to see a herbalist two weeks ago. She correctly diagnosed some imbalances that I had helped to create through emotional eating and general stress levels being too high. She gave me some supplements (not expensive ones) and a herbal tonic (specific to my situation), and some very good advice and my appetite is now under control and I have lost 5lbs in the first week (weigh in on Friday for week two). It was the best money I have spent in a long time (£45.00 for consultation, £13.00 for tonic). My skin, hair and nails are better than they have been for years.....

I will keep you all posted if interested.

broodyandpoor Wed 08-Aug-12 08:37:01

two words Over-eaters Anonymous
It has saved my life

SoleSource Wed 08-Aug-12 09:23:25

Brooxy I went there and one of the women put me off, being in my face with her nosy questions. There are 2 groups and she goes to both.

DippyDoohdah Wed 08-Aug-12 10:52:22

Any experiences and helpful suggestions are going to be helpful for all or some of for thought!

SoleSource Wed 08-Aug-12 10:54:43

I really want to go back to OA but

DippyDoohdah Wed 08-Aug-12 11:32:20 your local group and speak to someone who goes there.ask to meet them for a coffee then go into group with them.
Or, it is fine in those kind of groups, to say why you were put off and how you prefer to be treated.take a friend for support? If you pm me and say area you are in, if it's near me I will come with a drugs counsellor so have experience of groups etc

SoleSource Wed 08-Aug-12 12:12:44

Hi Dippy, I did meet the leader beforehand. This woman was one of the members. I am un B'ham. There are two groups here. Thank you x

lifeistooshorttodrinkcheapwine Wed 08-Aug-12 12:21:19

Read Eating less - say goodbye to overeating by gillian riley -its on amazon. This is really helping me with my overeating - the best of anything i have ever read

greenwichgroove Wed 08-Aug-12 12:33:55

Me! Gone from 8 to 14 stone in last few years sad used to be really fit and active, now cant walk up stairs without getting breathless. I also binge eat, full bag of party size crisps and chocolate in an evening sad

javotte Wed 08-Aug-12 12:57:20

I have developed short-term strategies to cope with overeating to a certain extent (going for a walk / putting sweets and biscuits at the back of the cupboard so I can't eat them absent-mindedly / etc.) but I'd really like to get rid of emotional eating altogether. Nothing has helped so far even though I know why I comfort-eat.

Shybairns Wed 08-Aug-12 13:23:01

Hi ladies, I'm definitely an imotional eater. When I have stress in my life I get very confused between wanting to give myself a little treat to cheer me up (as in a bar of chocolate) and also eating to because I don't care about myself and want to say fuck it I will have a bag or two of crisps.

I love Paul McKenna's book 'I can make you thin'. As he actually addresses emotional eating a n gives you techniques for reprogramming your mind as well as helping you to realise why your eating and pause long enough to try and stop your self.
Also his way of eating doesn't forbid you anything. He just askes you to only eat when you're hungry and stop eating when you're satisfied.

Having said that, its not easy to change old habbits. I went to Pizza Hut with a large group of DS friends and mums last night. And in my head I was thinking you should have the medium, Italian crust veggy supreme. But what came out of my mouth when I ordered was, a large half spicy beef and peperoni and half american bbq. And a Peroni. I was ordering the type of meal I would eat when I was easily slim and later when I didn't care about my size. Even as we sat there waiting for the food to arrive I was berating myself for another poor choice.

My main thoughts about stopping my overeating is, 1. Get more sleep, 2. Eat more friut and veg. 3. Try and exercise 3 times a week. And when I think I want chocolate either have friut or a drink or tell myself to wait ten minutes to see if the craving goes away.
Love myself more.

qumquat Wed 08-Aug-12 14:01:17

I've been through the mill with binge eating taking over my life for several years. I'm mainly ok now so thought I'd share some things which have helped:

Overeaters anonymous helped me a lot, and although I am disenchanted with it now and am extremely sceptical of all 12 step programmes, I would certainly recommend giving it a go, making use of the OA slogan "Take what you like and leave the rest".

The book "Potatoes not Prozac" was a revelation, it focuses on the effect of different foods on the body and brain rather than emotions. I had known for years that giving up sugar was something I needed to do for my sanity, this book enabled me to do it and improved my overall mood and health beyond recognition.

I also had therapy from a specialist in eating disorders. This was a massive battle. I think that nowadays professionals are more aware of binge eating disorder so I hope it's no longer as hard as it was for me.

I have to admit I haven't read the thread as I still find it all too painful although I've been mainly ok for the last couple of years. I hope these tips may help. x

qumquat Wed 08-Aug-12 14:17:23

The website linked to Potatoes Not Prozac is x

HeftyHeifer Wed 08-Aug-12 14:18:11

OA didn't help me at all. It made me very wary about 12 step, although I do know that AA certainly has helped many. I prefer to not be 'powerless over food' and take responsibility for my own recovery... so I needed to find resources that gave me that responsibility..
The Gillian Riley book mentioned upthread did. But the biggest help for me has been SMART recovery. Free online meetings, forum and helpful website. There's a UK site which is just in its infancy but the main site has much more information and help. (it has a .org domain rather than the uk one)

javotte Wed 08-Aug-12 14:32:03

qumquat how did you manage to stay off sugar on the long term? I also feel so much better (less tired, better mood, not to mention the pounds falling off) when I dramatically reduce my sugar and starch intake, but it only lasts a few months and then I start bingeing again without an identifiable trigger.

Sylvana Wed 08-Aug-12 22:08:38

I was a binge eater/emotional eater for years. I could never figure out why I turned to food. I eventually came to the conclusion that whatever I couldn't control had to go - this meant giving up chocolate (and anything containing sugar basically). It was hell at first, but the cravings eventually passed after a few weeks. After a few months I no longer had any desire for chocolate. When I eat chocolate now (which is rare) I can taste the sugar in it and it tastes vile to me.

Besides losing weight, giving up sugar had another amazing effect. For the first time in 20 years I could control what I ate. I now eat a sensible b/f, lunch and dinner with good protein sources to help fill me up. Sugar is empty calories, it increases appetite and makes you want to eat more, not less. It is the food of the devil!

If you want to get some control over your eating, seriously consider giving up all sugar. Its the best thing I ever did.

DippyDoohdah Wed 08-Aug-12 22:22:17

Feeling a tad silly asking this, but apart from sugar and obvious sweets, choc etc, how do you give up sugar?! I love fruit but that has natural sugar in....? Sounds interesting, the bit about mood stabilising appealing too!grin

Sylvana Wed 08-Aug-12 22:37:48

Dippy, fruit does have natural sugar in it and even though its good for you I prefer to get my vitamins and minerals from lots of veg instead. I read the labels on sauces etc and if sugar is the first or second ingredient, I put it back and choose another brand. I'm not obsessed by any means ... if I want pudding I'll have it, I just don't have it every day. But chocolate was a major problem for me - I couldn't control it and when I tried to avoid it I craved it like a mad woman!

javotte Thu 09-Aug-12 07:29:38

Freaklikeme I agree that giving up sugar has amazing effects and the less you eat it, the less you crave it physically. Have you got an idea why after 4 or 5 sugar-free months I find myself emptying the biscuit cupboard? It has happened many times over the last 10 years.

Shybairns Thu 09-Aug-12 07:39:02

I don't think I would give up sugar. Eat alot less of it yes, but not all together. When I'm eating healthily I eat more fruit and yoghurt as opossed to chocolate and biscuits/cake.

I eat for energy as well as all the other reasons. I'm tired every day and even if I'm not hungry, if I'm feeling worn out I'll reach for the choocolate to give me a lift. Of course the very high high means a very low low not long after. And so the day can go on.

Shybairns Thu 09-Aug-12 07:42:41

javotte I think our bodies probably need sugar. Not a lot but it maybe works with other elements in our diet to keep us healthy. Hense when you deny your body it for a prolonged period you feel the need to boost your sugar levels. hmm Sound half way right??

Can I join you all please? I haven't read the whole thread yet, but I will do. I am overweight and I am emotional eater with a massive addiction to carbs and sugar. I am always tired (work p/t, dc aged 1 and 4) and I often eat to stay awake. I am also experiencing problems in my relationship at the moment and eat to get rid of the anxiety and nervousness I often feel (I have started smoking again as well, which is even more of a problem health-wise than the eating). To top it off my partner is also overweight and unhappy and eats piles and piles of crap, so we kind of enable eachother, and I find it so difficult to cut down when his crisps are in the house and he is offering me fatty foods all of the time.

I have not been slim since I was about 18 (fluctuated between a 16 and a 20 since then). My Mum has food issues and put me on my first diet when I was 3. I now refuse to diet as I think it is wrong on so many levels (doesn't work long-term, makes an unhealthy relationship with eating worse, feminist ideals), but I really want to start eating healthily for life.

I eat healthily and am a very good cook, but I eat too much, and binge between meals. I often convince myself, as I am cramming Victoria Sponge into my mouth in secret in the kitchen, that because it is home-baked cake with no additives it is okay! I know this is bollocks and I need some help and support to stop this behaviour sad.

DippyDoohdah Thu 09-Aug-12 16:11:53

Welcome Brubber! I can relate to all of your circumstances except I don't do home cooking much! Will check in later as supposed to be working!
Have decided to cut down on sugar in a mindful way.not sure if today is best day as got head cold but when is ever the best day for challenge?!

javotte Thu 09-Aug-12 16:23:17

8rubber I do that too! I cook everything from scratch and I am quite a good baker, and I often tell myself that eating half a devil's food cake is OK because it doesn't contain any processed crap (incidentally, it doesn't stop me from bingeing on processed biscuits and crisps too).

I am glad I am not the only one! I forgot to say earlier as well that it is very difficult for me to lose weight due to Polycystic Ovary Syndrome, which I think makes it harder for me to stop my negative emotional patterns with eating. I am also going for a Gluten Intolerance test soon as my Mum is coeliac and I can't get enough carbs down my mouth. I am kind of scared of being told not to eat wheat and other gluten, as gluten carbs are one of my main crutches and actually make me happy after I eat them for oh, about 10 minutes sad.

KinkyDorito Thu 09-Aug-12 16:39:19

think carefully about prozac

I will read this thread properly in a minute, but wanted to say be very careful with prozac as it made my eating issues far worse and I piled on over 2st when I started taking it (wasn't thin to start with). Only now, 5 months out of my system, is my eating getting a bit more controllable. I have horrendous eating issues, but agree with Paul Mckenna, which is helpful, and am now reading the Beck Solution which is CBT for supporting a diet.

Shybairns Thu 09-Aug-12 17:43:20

Urgh! was doing well today untill my ex showed up to take the kids for tea. My DS crying his eyes out cos he didn't want to go and my mum telling me to bring him back in the house.
2 beers and a packet of crisps and a chocolate bar down. I still feel like crap and now I'm full of junk. sad

javotte Thu 09-Aug-12 18:32:52

Sorry about your DCs, shybairns. When will they be back?

gettingeasier Thu 09-Aug-12 19:40:32

Well I have read this thread each time I see a new post

When I was going through my marriage stuff I posted willy nilly all kinds of personal feelings on a long running thread on relationships

However I am struggling to post on here now even though I overeat and have recently had my tipping point of feeling unhappy about my size and knowing I need to stop thinking and start doing

Will be back , nearly brave enough smile

DippyDoohdah Thu 09-Aug-12 21:20:39

Hi gettingeasier, know what you mean about thinking and doing. welcome, hope we hear from you again smile

gettingeasier Thu 09-Aug-12 22:12:42

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sylvana Thu 09-Aug-12 22:19:40

Hi javotte sorry just getting back to this thread now. If you can give up sugar for 4-5 months you really are over the worst and are sabotaging all your hard work by eating it again - but then you already know that grin

If I feel like a biscuit I will have the plainest one there is .... Rich Tea. And lets be honest, there is no way you're going to eat a whole packet of Rich Tea!

The thing about sugar is the more you eat of it the more you crave it. You get a spike in energy when you eat it, then you get the crash and you crave more and more. Its very hard to regulate your eating/food intake when you keep putting this into your body.

Understanding that really put it into perspective for me.

DippyDoohdah Thu 09-Aug-12 22:29:32

Hi getting.that was a start! Only post what you are ok with, don't leave yourself too wide open but everyone on here has been lovely so hopefully there is some gentle support if you want it..otherwise maybe some counselling if you feel there is a lot bubbling under.I just started some counselling this afternoon and her guidance was to get self a foot spa and start there!..lots of issues but basically failed marriage, struggle as single mum to two young boys, weight gain, self doubt....well, parents had the boys tonight so I did foot spa, lovely! The best bit though was that I was so relaxed that I could not be bothered to jump up to go rummaging around the kitchen cupboards! grin ! Night all.

qumquat Thu 09-Aug-12 23:38:15

Hi Javotte,

Sorry only just back to the thread. L-Glutamine supplements really helped me to beat sugar cravings, and now I follow the programme of 'Potatoes not Prozac' by Kathleen DesMaisons (look it up on Amazon!) which has made it all so much easier as I no longer get the sugar lows which lead to me craving sugar. The basic gist of it is lots of protein and complex carbs, but it leads you into it gently step by step with no cold turkey or overwhelming rules to get your head around. What is so refreshing about it is that it takes away the emotions and focuses on the bio-chemistry; it is often the food causing the bad feelings, not vice versa. It's amazing the difference eating 3 meals a day, with sufficient protein and complex carbs, has made to overall mood and outlook on life. I'm considering coming off ADs after 10 years.

I have absolutely NO sugary foods in the house and also no cheese (my other vice) DP moans but as I repeatedly say, he wouldn't force an alcoholic to keep vodka in the kitchen. I also rarely eat white carbs as they have a very similar effect on the body as sugar. I do eat fruit and milk and other things with natural sugars, but nothing with added sugar.

I also like to keep my sugar-revulsion topped up to keep me motivated. There's a classic book called 'Sugar Blues', also '101 ways to keep the sugar out' by Anne Louise Gittleman is a good book with lots of practical tips. Sugar has been in the news recently following the TV series 'The Men who made us Fat' - google this and Jacques Peretti (who made the series) for some really interesting articles. There's also a Youtube video doing the rounds, I haven't seen it yet but I think it's called 'The truth about sugar', will post the link when I find it.

As an aside, in my bingeing days I would have had NO problem eating a whole packet of rich teas!

Sorry for long post, I could talk about this forever!

qumquat Thu 09-Aug-12 23:43:12

As promised:

First, the hefty "Sugar: The Bitter Truth" (90 minutes, but still 2.6 million views!):

Then the bite-sized "The Skinny On Obesity", all in digestible chunks. Much of the material is covered in "Sugar: The Bitter Truth" but it's interesting to see it explained in different ways and with much better infographics too:

javotte Fri 10-Aug-12 11:06:57

Thanks qumquat. I agree that the "chemical" part of food (esp. sugar) addiction is often overlooked. I know my body very well and I can feel the effects on sugar when I eat it.
I am dreading my 7mth appointment on Monday. I'm having a stressful time (my grandmother died recently and my parents are divorcing) so I'm putting on lots of weight.

There is loads of really useful information on here, thanks everybody. Now I need to sit down and order a couple of books and read / watch some of the links. Something is stopping me, but I know it is just that once I start I will have to face up to things.

Last night was a baaaaaad night, it is ds's 4 th birthday party tomorrow and dp and me were up until 11 making dinosaur biscuits and cupcakes, I imbibed so much sugar I felt like I was on Class A drugs by the time I went to bed, just through licking the spoon / testing etc.

DP was being really needy in the night and this morning and I felt under so much pressure I had a cigarette as soon as I got into work and ate a cheese and chilli flatbread from the bakery at 10am shock and have eaten about 5 chocolate biscuits and 7 Celebrations. They were all lying around in work by the kettle for everyone to share. I feel sick.

DippyDoohdah Fri 10-Aug-12 22:42:58

8rubber...most of us will have had plenty of days like that.chalk it up to bad choices and 2moro is a nw day.dinosaur biscuits wow! My 2 yr old would bang yr door down for them!

Houseofplain Fri 10-Aug-12 23:02:27

I used to be an ea. It's also well documented that ea is linked to past abuse. Such as marriages, sexual abuse.

I had 4 pregnancies and gradually gained 5st. Until last Xmas. I felt, ill, really sick. I'm a young good looking woman, but my god I was fat and sick, really sick.

So I made a choice to change. I had sugar cravings, all that, ate when stressed. Well I've lost 5st since jan. I'm back to "my best" and being healthy.

Cut right down on carbs. It's hard at first. But carbs give you a rush, they are addictive. They cause you to feel hungry. Also you store water for every part carb you eat. You go over the glycogen you store in your liver. You store fat when eating carbs.

So at first it's hard. Eat more protein based salads. Eat more fruit and veg. I'm not a veggie. But I'll have quorn mince, with balsamic vinegar and Worcester sauce. Low cheat snack. High protein, low carb, low fat. I will have normal meats, but I also have quorn based meats.

It's so hard at first to cut all the refined shit out. But do it you can. You then realise you were addicted. Bread was my weakness. Remember refined carbs go to sugar instantly in the blood. So cut right back. Ease out the crap.

I still had some wine, some chocolate, a takeaway. But it was treats. Not every day. I soon adapted to lean meats and salads during the week. Infact if I go out now, I positively avoid carby/fatty stuff. I prefer healthier stuff.

My sports mad dh does not recognise me grin my ex manicurist turned up today delivering dominos of all things for my kids. She never recognised me!!

javotte Sat 11-Aug-12 08:02:46

Hi houseofplain. I know how amazing it makes you feel when you stick to a low-carb diet (even my hair and skin look better). So why do I always end up sabotaging my efforts after a few months? sad

Houseofplain Sat 11-Aug-12 09:31:14

I think you have got to have a light bulb moment. My diet was practically all carbs, no other foods really. I could easily go through packets and packets of crisps and biscuits.

But at Christmas my ibs got so bad, I was in agonising pain amd thought something was really wrong. My wake up call.

Every now and then I have a mini sabotage. But I reign it in ASAP as I start to feel so sick. So I'm a way ibs is a blessing. Whod have thought!

Sylvana Sat 11-Aug-12 10:07:31

Houseofplain A massive well done to you torch What an achievement !

I don't eat any sugar but I still eat bread .... so my next goal is to given them up too. Your post has given me the inspiration.

Can I ask what you eat for breakfast ?? I can't come up with any low carb breakfast ideas.

Houseofplain Sat 11-Aug-12 10:21:25

Depends. I either have a yoghurt, with some fruit. Or if ive got time. Trimmed grilled bacon, scrambled eggs and tomatoes.

Sylvana Sat 11-Aug-12 10:35:37

Yoghurt & fruit is a great idea and the grill for the weekend would be a nice treat.

javotte Sat 11-Aug-12 11:53:26

freaklikeme when I am in a low-carb phase I usually have low-fat fromage frais with a handful of frozen raspberries. Fromage frais has more protein than yogurt and keeps me full longer.

SoleSource Sat 11-Aug-12 13:28:01

Low carbing equals lower moods?

javotte Sat 11-Aug-12 14:11:58

Hi solesource
It's the opposite (at least for me). Low carb = more energy, more focus, more patience. And then I spoil everything...
I intend to go back to a (moderate) low-carb diet a few weeks after DC3's birth.

Sylvana Sat 11-Aug-12 14:16:00

Great idea about the fromage frais Javotte I'm going shopping today so will check out the different brands. I find you have to plan with low carbing, you have get the food in so you don't resort to the easy, high carb options.

Houseofplain Sat 11-Aug-12 15:25:34

No. Low carb. Means more energy, better moods, more settled sleeping patterns.

Due to the fact you are not eating all the refined stuff. You aren't bloated with all the water that comes with it. You don't have the huge sugar highs and lows which come with a heavy carb diet. Oh and the sluggish feeling...when you are bloated and your body is just turning it all to fat as you already have full glycogen stores.

I don't cut carbs out completely but I don't eat lots of them. Or the big ones which are the ultimate sinners. Such as bread, rice.

KnittingAnOlympicGold Sat 11-Aug-12 17:12:39

Hi all, can I join? Have read the thread and so much of it resonates with me sad.

Currently having counselling but it's slow going and I've put on 2 stone since I started blush.

Hope we can support each other to break the addiction.

DippyDoohdah Sat 11-Aug-12 20:50:41

There are lots of good tips on feeling so rough at moment and no clothes going too have to reign this in now and take some inspiration..low carb here I come.if any of you have time, would you mind posting some typical days menus for low carb diet? Have tried it before but just end up eating meat and salad, am not a huge carnivore do what to do on days where do more want to eat loads of meat but still shift this dragging me right down weight?

DippyDoohdah Sat 11-Aug-12 20:52:03

I meant what to do on days where do not want to eat loads of meat...bah Swype!

KnittingAnOlympicGold Sat 11-Aug-12 21:00:27

Dippy, I'm in the same boat - have one pair of jeans that I have to wash an wear blush.

Would also appreciate tips on low carb as I'm not much cop in the kitchen and eats loads of carbs!

DippyDoohdah Sat 11-Aug-12 21:05:58

Knitting..snap! Refuse to buy any more have got loads of decent, smaller pairs to get back into.I had a reality check today when a friend was getting rid of some clothes and I came back with three denim skirts, hoping they would be ok on. could barely get them mid way past my thighs! Think I have had an over optimistic view of myself and I need to get real, and quick! Yes carbs tips please grin

Houseofplain Sat 11-Aug-12 21:10:12

I have a fridge full of yogurts. Beware of the "healthy" ones full of crap. One of the best I've found nutritionally is activia.

Obviously, nuts and seeds if that's your thing. Lean meats. Salad, fruit and veg. Although watch potatoes. The best potatoes for you are new potatoes. A jacket spud is one of the highest things for turning from carbs>sugar in the blood instantly.

Cheeses. Stuffed mushrooms, stuffed peppers. Tuna, fish, and QUORN. You can do lots with quorn. Eggs. Frozen grapes, like mini Bon bons.

Soups, make your own soups.

I don't completely cut out carbs. As veggies can have carbs in them etc. But it's the good stuff. I may have a tiny bit of rice/pasta/pots but I tend to avoid them really as I get so bloated even with a small amount of refined carbs.

If you want a carb filler then cous, cous is the best option. High in carbs, so I would only have a tiny bit, like rice, etc. But much better. Mix in some sweet chilli sauce.

Sylvana Sun 12-Aug-12 09:04:31

Houseofplain I have 2 more questions for you, if thats ok .....

What do you stuff your mushrooms & peppers with - cheese ?

Does it have to be low fat cheese or can you eat normal cheddar ???

Thanks so much. I'm getting all my food in so I can start tomorrow smile

Bishoplyn Sun 12-Aug-12 11:36:11

Hi all! Hope its ok to join in. I nearly cried with relief when I saw this thread. Such a relief to know I'm not the only 1 who struggles with this. Most of my rl friends look at me like I'm weird when i tell them I eat when i'm stressed :-(

I've done some reading on this recently but aside from making me more aware of it, my eating hasn't really changed. I'm waiting for an appointmnet with a nutritional therapist and I hope that will help me really look at my diet. I'm trying to do more exercise but that makes me tired. Guess i need to persevere....

I like this thread

A heavy read but fantastic insight into why we subconscously chose to be fat and why

My favourite. Gives good advice on what to do when a 'fat-ugly' attack hits

I found this on tinternet. Anybody any experince of it?

Keep posting.

Houseofplain Sun 12-Aug-12 11:59:14

I use all sorts of cheeses. There isn't a huge difference between high/low fat. So if you are eating lots of lean meats/fruit and veg. The fat from cheese isn't a biggie.

I have everything from soft cheeses, haloumi, Brie, cheddar. You can put bacon in with them. Or if you want texture a little bit of cous cous it gives the same effect of breadcrumbs when covered in strong flavours. Some tiny diced veg, so it's crispy. Olive oil. Should be the oil of choice. I later alternate between those or have all of them.

DippyDoohdah Sun 12-Aug-12 22:12:07

Thanks for this.I too did a different kind of shop and had to wrestle mum to get the potatoes off my plate at Sunday lunch! Funnily enough I don't feel hungry and have not picked at all tonight. Oh God how I would love to turn that un turntable corner! x

zookeeper Sun 12-Aug-12 22:21:52

so relieved to see this thread. Marking my place

Sylvana Mon 13-Aug-12 09:01:21

Thanks again Houseofoplain.

I love your ideas. I have done Atkins and Durkan before but found them too strict. Your plan sounds much more sensible and therefore achieveable. I put on half a stone over the summer and I'm desperate to lose it as none of work trousers fit anymore!

javotte Mon 13-Aug-12 12:18:56

Hi everyone. I kept my eyes closed while the consultant was checking my weight this morning. She told me my weight gain is rather moderate so far (phew!).
I hope my stress levels go down in the next few weeks. I have no idea how normal people cope - I've always turned to food. sad

zookeeper Mon 13-Aug-12 16:41:20

I've just ordered the "when you eat at the refrigerator book" - will keep you all posted

javotte Mon 13-Aug-12 20:53:56

There seem to be lots of books about emotional eating. Are they really good? I can tell if I eat because I'm hungry or for other reasons. I know why I became an emotional eater. I know quite a lot about nutrition. Could one of these books teach me to "reprogram" myself?

DippyDoohdah Mon 13-Aug-12 21:36:37

Javotte, what about a bit of hypnotherapy or just a guided meditation CD? Seems like you have some insight so that's a good starting place, think a book would certainly help rewrite those thoughts, especially if you actively participate in thought might even be able to get six sessions of cbt from IAPT (via gp/self referral)

DippyDoohdah Mon 13-Aug-12 22:33:12

Am day two of no carbs and amazingly do not feel hungry! grin

javotte Tue 14-Aug-12 07:38:03

Congratulations Dippy!
As for CBT, I live in France and it doesn't work that way. Health professionals don't know anything about eating disorders apart from anorexia. To them I am just stupid / greedy / lazy (they tell me in a very slow voice that I should eat less hmm )

DippyDoohdah Tue 14-Aug-12 12:50:05

Thanks! Just a thought, google"mood gym" it's an online workshop and whilst is not about over eating it might address the root issues?

zookeeper Tue 14-Aug-12 16:18:54

are lentils high carb?

Houseofplain Tue 14-Aug-12 16:48:05

Well done dippy... Carbs naturally give you food cravings. As they give you a sugar high...then low. So it really does affect your appetite of you cut the, right down.

Lentils are ok. About 12g a portion. So not bad. It's not all about cutting out every carb as I think that's really bad. It's just watching them carefully.

Sylvana Tue 14-Aug-12 18:51:12

I'm on day two also. I'm finding it fine. I'm amazed at how many options there are food wise, it just takes a bit of extra thought and planning. I'm not hungry at all either. Loved the fact that I was able to eat in work for the past two days and no-one realised I was on a diet smile

How is the low-carb / no-carb going dippy and freaklikeme? Is it helping cravings and mood?

I am definitely going to the docs this week and asking for a Gluten intolerance test, I had some processed white bread for breakfast yesterday and was very, very ill not long after blush. I want to just cut gluten out now but I am worried my test results won't be accurate if I do, but I am not going to eat any refined carbs if I can help it from now on. I hope this helps with my moods / sugar highs and lows. Not sure if I will be able to cut out sugar at the same time though!

So all of you, what psychological tool, such as specific overeating counselling, self-help books, have any of you used, and which did you find useful, if any? I am waiting for some counselling free through DPs work at the moment, and I am hoping five sessions of face to face alongside addressing my diet is going to do wonders, but I realise it probably won't. I need to take control of my life ultimately, stop smoking, sort out my relationship with DP and stop comfort eating. I have never been a big one for self-help books but I need support doing this, and as someone said upthread none of my skinny mates seem to understand.

DippyDoohdah Wed 15-Aug-12 17:28:48

Hi 8 going well on it..tho need to cut the vino out if want to see best weight loss! Know I do not have to totally cut out carbs but I have done for the last 4 days and, coincidental or not, have felt great.I did slimming world before and whenever tried to sort self, would not really stick to it just a new way of thinking that has got me motivated for first in a long time? Do not know.but have been really quite depressed and very the last 4 days I have had my mojo back! AND not felt hungry x

delilahlilah Wed 15-Aug-12 19:41:07

Hi, have read the thread but first chance i've had to post on it. I think I need to address the underlying issues before I get anywhere with a food plan sad. However, I have great difficulties as I can't stand salad / vegetables so filling up on those is not an option. I didn't like these as a small child but a family member tried to force feed me them frequently as they 'should be eaten' and I was 'being ridiculous', resulting in me being physically sick and I think they did more damage than if I had been left alone. Tastes change as we go through life, and I don't think I would be as bad with all those items, but will never really know.
I would love to join a gym, but it it expensive and I'm too embarrassed to go for a sign up as I have been told they weigh and measure you etc. Would also find it hard as I would feel like the super fit people were looking down at me blush
I would really love some soup recipes if anyone has them as I can cheat myself with vegetables this way by blending them (I know this sounds ridiculous sad) I feel like a child. I have to do something, I hate myself. I don't want to be a stick, I was happy at a size 16. But 2 babies, a miscarriage and a whole load of stress later I am far from that. I desperately need a job as well, and think my appearance will be a disadvantage, especially when it affects my self confidence in this way.

Sorry for the huge post blush

DippyDoohdah Wed 15-Aug-12 20:12:38

Delilah...this thread is Not about food plans, do not let that put you off.that's just a couple if us trying good advice x this thread is exactly what it says on the tin.use it to the best of your advantage...PS .when did not have 2ds at home, and no baby sitter, I did the gym and I was 'voluptuous'....the gym bunnies that are there, in so called perfect shape, are just desperate for attention! They love you to look! Never let them put you off! And welcome x x

Sylvana Wed 15-Aug-12 20:17:34

Hi 8rubber, I'm thrilled because it doesn't feel like a diet. I'm eating the same food as everyone else in work (just without the bread/carbs) so I don't feel deprived. Thats very important to me and it means I will stay on this for the long term.

I tried all the books, counselling, hypnotherapy etc routes before and nothing really helped me. The only book that resonated with me somewhat was 'Hungry' by Allen Zadoff, a sad but funny tale about an American man who lost half his body weight. He was an emotional/comfort eater all his life and to read what he went through and how he overcame it was very inspiring.

Delilah - the great thing about a low carb diet is that you don't have to eat lots of veg, it would really be suited to you.

javotte Wed 15-Aug-12 20:17:38

I know how you feel delilah [hug]
I can't go to a gym either but when I'm in a "good" phase I use fitness DVDs at home (my favourite one is the 30-day shred). Walking is also great for your body and your mood.

delilahlilah Wed 15-Aug-12 21:21:29

Thank you for the replies. Had a powercut so couldn't get back on. Dvd is a great idea. I thought of getting a dance type one thinking I could make it fun and the kids could join in if they wanted... I do think that I need to resolve a lot of issues before I can get very far, as I know I will lapse when I am emotional / feeling down / something goes wrong. I just don't know how to begin to approach it. I've considered asking tha gp to refer me for counselling, but not convinced i'll cope with that as you can't get much out in an hour, and then i'd probably work myself up even more after it / between sessions. Bit lost really. Very glad to have found this thread though. A big thank you to the OP thanks

DippyDoohdah Wed 15-Aug-12 22:06:29

Aaaah Delilah that's lovely thank so glad I put this thread on as so much more wisdom and advice on here than I could have ever mustered...was it you or someone else that said about counselling through dp work? A good counsellor will help each week...and lots can come out in an hour so try it...also these threads can be like invaluable counselling, so keep posting and we are here for you x x x

Bishoplyn Wed 15-Aug-12 22:40:16

Hi all! Some great support on this thread. Thanks!
Delilah - counselling def is worthwhile. I had a few sessions with one last year and it helped me see a lot of things clearly, like my attraction to emotionally unavailable men.....
I've gone swimming twice this week so far and feel I've eaten less in the evening :-)
My counsellor sent me this video I felt I was looking in the mirror!

DippyDooDah, Delilah it is me who has got some counselling through my partner's work. He has AXA cover, and although I am not covered for anything medical, for some reason I do have access to their counselling service. I am entitled to 5 hour-long sessions and 24-hour access to a counsellor on the phone for the duration, I am just waiting for a referral to someone in my area. We couldn't afford counselling otherwise as one of the stresses we have at home is money, so I feel really lucky. Once I have had some counselling on my own we are then going to have some couple's counselling. We had some before but it was shite hollow grin.

I was not going to bring up my eating habits in the counselling before but I think I will now, as my weight is making me miserable. I used to be a happy size 16 as well, but 2 children down the line I am now just squeezing into size 20 jeans.

Delilah google Covent Garden Soup Company recipes, they have a really good recipe book of soup, soup and nothing but soup. My son won't eat many veg (or soup) and I make a tomato sauce for pasta by sauteeing loads of different veg and pureeing them and stirring them into a basic tomato pasta sauce, you should be able to eat that if you eat soup?

PS I missed a full stop after shite, otherwise without it my tentative use of clever crossing out just looks, erm, shite. grin

delilahlilah Thu 16-Aug-12 12:24:56

Thanks again for helpful replies. Is it possible to get counselling for depression via NHS? I definitely can't afford to go private as we are also broke. The Tax credits changes have impacted us really badly. We actually have less money than we would if we didn't work sad angry - many people are keen to try to contradict this but it is true, I have sat down and worked it all out shock
I think I just need to offload 30+ years of hurt and shite, and see if I can start again. I was skinny as a child, and although I would never go back that far (hips wouldn't allow it anyway!), I just need to feel happier and healthier. It doesn't help that 'junk' food is cheaper than healthy food, and also quicker and makesyoufeelbetter easier when in a hurry.

Delilah as well as tax credits cuts there have also been substantial cuts in our local PCT's budget for counselling on the NHS, I went to my GP and I was offered counselling but with a really long waiting list, it is worth a try though, there is some available out there. I am on the list but managed to get some sorted through DP's work a lot quicker.

I posted on another thread yesterday that if you Google free counselling in your area you will probably find something, especially if you fit into certain groups, such as women, or people who have experienced abuse in the past, or in need of bereavement counselling. Your local Mind office will have a resources page on their website as well with lists of free and subsidised counselling. I may sound like I know too much about all of this but I used to work in mental health and I am now a housing / debt adviser, so know how to sort everyone else's shit out but not my own!

We had our tax credits stopped this year as well and it has had a massive impact on our household budget. My DP has just been declared insolvent too so I am now in charge of all the finances and I am struggling to stretch the money every month. Thankfully our oldest starts school in September so our childcare costs will reduce a bit from October, but we will still be in the red every month.

shaketheshame Thu 16-Aug-12 13:45:18

Thank you for this thread ! My big problem is sugary stuff...I have a very good general diet (as in lots of fruits/veg), I don't get hungry but if I'm upset/down/happy I'll reach for chocolate/sweets. I'm going to read that thread.

zookeeper Sun 19-Aug-12 21:56:48

I've been reading the "when you eat at the refrigerator pull up a Chair " book by Geneen Roth recommended in this thread. It's a bit psychobabbly in places but today for the first time in ages I've eaten what I fancied without gorging myself and without guilt.

Ok, so today I've eaten a bagel with a slice of cheese, a pasty and an icecream , roasted veg and houmous and a punnet of strawberries which is not the healthiest, I know, but far from a binge. Normally if I'd had a pasty I would have felt I'd blown a diet and carried on eating and this time I just enjoyed it and then got on with my day.

I would love to eat like a thin person; just to eat when hungry and stop when full and today I feel I made a step in the right direction.

does that make sense to anyone?

zookeeper that makes loads of sense to me. I look at my friends and family with a healthy relationship with food and wish I had the same off switch as them.

I have been doing really well the last few days, cut down but not cut out the carbs, and have been eating lots of lentils and pulses instead. It seems to have stabilised my blood sugar a bit and am not having such intense cravings for sugar and stodge. I think it has helped that things are difficult with DP, so I feel a bit sick with nerves at the moment and not so hungry sad.

javotte Wed 22-Aug-12 14:07:31

There is alcohol in my house. It wouldn't even occur to me to drink it. So why can't I be in the kitchen without opening the biscuit cupboard?
On the "positive" side, it has been so hot in France (39°C this weekend) that I find myself eating less.

Javotte can I ask you about the 30-day shred, as you said upthread it is one of your favourites? Is it a complete killer if you are not very fit? I have heard bad things about it buggering your knees (can't remember if it was on this thread or another one), and I have dodgy knees from collapsed arches (extra weight carried throughout my pregnancies actually squashed my feet blush). I want to try it out but I am worried it will hurt grin, and as I only do walking exercise at the moment will be too much for me.

javotte Wed 22-Aug-12 14:27:50

Hi 8rubberduckies!
I was a bit lighter and fitter (size 16) when I tried the shred. It was a killer for a few days, then it was OK, and the results were amazing esp. on my upper body. I don't know about the knees - mine were OK.

zookeeper Wed 22-Aug-12 15:10:11

interesting abou the alcohol Javotte. I am the same. I can easily have an open bottle of wine in the fridge for weeks. But biscuits? Unthinkable.

Wouldn't it be lovely to feel the same way about food? I am aiming for this. I can't imagine how or if I will ever get there - will try another Roth book I suppose.

Maybe I will take my question about 30-day shred over to the dreaded dieting threads, thanks though Javotte. I also love wine and will have a glass or two of an evening if there is one open.

DippyDoohdah Thu 23-Aug-12 22:25:14

So tired tonight but re marking place x

delilahlilah Sat 25-Aug-12 22:51:41

It's nice to see the support here, and be able to say how you feel. I am the same with alcohol. I hardly ever bother in the house. Savoury snacks and I just can't help myself blush
I have been feeling rubbish lately, so no inspiration to get out and do stuff. Terrible headaches really don't help, and verging on insomnia in the nights, just can't sleep. It's quite often light before I go to sleep, then have to be up with the DCs. sad
Need a new me....

springydaffs Sun 26-Aug-12 12:09:45

Skipping straight through to the end of the thread so apologies if this has been mentioned before but

This book , Why Can;t I Stop Eating? totally changed my life. Addresses food addiction; h-u-g-e relief to me to realise it is an addiction and, as such, the 'remedy' is abstinence from whichever foods are your trigger - in my case, sugar ie sugar addiction (and in most cases, tbh).

SO - if I eat sugar (or simple carbs) I'm lost. It's all or nothing, like an alcoholic with alcohol - if I start eating it I set up the craving and there is no 'stop' button. Interestingly, there is a theory that some part of alcoholism is actually addiction to the sugar in alcohol. I have alcoholics right back through my family line, both sides ie ma and pa.

I don't buy in sugar/sugary food because if I do, I'm lost. I've just had foreign students staying over the summer and managed to fob them off with fruit and yoghurt for pudding - though I don't buy the individual, sugary yoghurts but a big pot of natural yoghurt and add fruit, honey, nuts (though no honey for me). I know from experience that if I buy in puddings they don't last until the students get home for supper! Not a chance, actually. If I make a pudding (never buy them in), I make sure it is polished off because, even if I dont particularly like it, it will find it's way to my mouth when no-one's around...

I've been reading a lot about narcissism lately - I'm getting to the point, don't worry - and I recognised something: that narcissists look outside for validation/love/whatever, and I recognise that in my overeating: ie looking outside for the good stuff; not getting it, or not knowing how to get it, from within. does that make sense?

I also highly recommend OA if you are a compulsive overeater. Over a lot of years I have developed skills, techniques, knowledge about combatting food addiction and these have become second nature. I know what to avoid and I also don't get into that self-loathing thing because I know it is an addiction that I can't control iyswim, which is 9/10s of the battle imo. I can't control it but I can employ knowledge and techniques - and total abstinence.

I cook mostly from scratch because a lot of prepared foods have added sugar. I also try to pay for petrol at the pump to avoid the chocolate displays at the till. etc. That said, one of my foreign students was a sugar addict like me and had a carrier bag full of choc in his room. Did I touch it? NO <proud of self>. Mind you, if I had just had the one, I would have polished it all off and not been mindful of the massive boundary violation .

I'm not suggesting I'm perfect btw - I have my moments (just had a long moment, actually), but I climb straight back on once the splurge is over. aiming for no splurges, of course. I'll get there wink

huge post and apologies if I sound like a know-all blush I'm convincing myself

delilahlilah Sun 26-Aug-12 12:38:49

Oh dear... today is so not going to be a good day sad I think I have been worse lately anyway, as I have had a lot of emotional realisations and retrospectively, I can see they have rocked me more than I thought.
I don't have anyone to talk to in RL.... I can't face it. I think it's lacking the trust to have confidence in someone, especially for them to keep it to themselves.
I can't go the suggested route above, and avoid triggers because there isn't any one particular thing. I can take or leave sweet foods, so it isn't sugar.
I just want to stay in bed today and not see anyone.

javotte Sun 26-Aug-12 12:45:45

[hugs] Delilah. I don't know what to say. No one in RL either, I'm too ashamed of myself.
Please please please don't stay in bed. Can you go for a short walk?

springydaffs Sun 26-Aug-12 13:26:27

aw delilah <hug>

you could try OA - linked to find a meeting - see if you can find a meeting today? Or read the site. I find it helps enormously to be with people who know what it's like so you don't have to explain. It makes all the difference in the world xx

delilahlilah Sun 26-Aug-12 15:21:37

Thanks Javotte and Springy. No chance of actually staying in bed with DCs around.
Too ashamed here too Javotte sad

Middy86 Sun 26-Aug-12 15:50:27

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bacere Sun 26-Aug-12 15:57:10

Me two - have to go right now but will be back.

zookeeper Mon 27-Aug-12 20:31:17

terrible day today - have not stopped eating. Feel horrible. Back to the books I suppose sad

springydaffs Mon 27-Aug-12 20:40:35

me too, for all my preaching blush

ah well, back on the wagon (or is it off? never quite sure about that phrase)

I am currently eating rice cakes with naice ham and gorgeous fresh tomato. rice cakes only because I'm not great with wheat and also because I just needed to cram get some wholesome food in on top of the crap .

Day at a time...

Sylvana Mon 27-Aug-12 21:57:33

I have lost 3 lbs in 13 days smile I feel so much better. I have been doing the carb free plan during the week and having some carbs at the weekend (limited to a slice of brown toast on Sat/Sun with my boiled egg and a couple of baby potatoes with Sunday dinner).

I went out at the weekend with friends to an Italian restaurant (not my choice). I thought I'd have a treat and had lasange with salad and garlic bread. I felt dreadful for the next 24 hours. I could really feel the affect of the refined carbs in my system.

I don't find this plan hard at all. When you are eating well, you feel so much better. Carbs are nothing but cheap, stodgy fillers that bloat you out. There is no going back for me.

Shellywelly1973 Tue 28-Aug-12 00:59:33

Hi. I am so glad i found this thread.

My Dp is an emotional eater. Im really worried about him,he's 6'4 so hides the weight well. I know he was just under 20st 2years ago but much bigger now.

Once he starts eating,he can't stop. Mainly though i only see him eat,what i cook. If that's all he ate he would be losing weight.

Im really concerned about his health. He struggles do put his shoes on,his waist is '44. So any physical exercise is exhausting for him.

How's the best way to approach this with him&help.

Really appreciate any advice.


anniewoo Tue 28-Aug-12 01:27:43

Dippity what do you eat when you liow carb?

DippyDoohdah Tue 28-Aug-12 09:22:54

Annie,I don't think am the best qualified to answer that..can someone else help? I did it for 9 days, felt great and lost 4lbs. Then went on a family holiday for a few days and it went to pot...kept the weight lids off tho grin. am getting back on it now though. I just had lots of protein so fish and salad, or steak mushroom and veg, sometimes had ham egg and tomato for breakfast, usually chicken salad for lunch with seeds and a dressing that I fancied...I did see that I was never hungry between meals so I felt a lot more in control. Freak like me, how are you doing and what are you eating? X

javotte Tue 28-Aug-12 09:41:54

Hi Shelly. I'm afraid there is nothing you can do. I am an emotional eater and it is my fault. DH is not responsible for my addiction. He once told me that he wasn't happy to see me slowly killing myself with food, but it didn't make me feel better or stop overeating.

delilahlilah Tue 28-Aug-12 09:49:42

Hi Shelly, I agree with javotte. In fact mentioning it is probably the worst thing you can do with an emotional eater. He knows how he's feeling and how he looks. You have to wait for him to want to do it. If he's like most of us here though, he's unlikely to actually tell you.... I wouldn't tell DH, although I tell him everything else. It's something I have to deal with my way, I can't explain, I don't have the words today. On a major low, planning to investigate the no / low carbs route this week.

zookeeper Mon 03-Sep-12 08:55:39

Hi all

How is everyone doing? I'm still wading through the Geneen Roth books which are all about stopping dieting, eating what you want and losing weight. It's a bit of a leap of faith as a part of me is terrified that I will end up fatter than ever but years of dieting have left me with a really unhealthy relationship with food and three stone overweight.

My last really bad day was a week last Sunday which for me is good - since then I've eaten as I think thin people eat - what they want but not so that they gorge themselves.

This food business is such a bloody struggle -I sometimes I wish I could just take a pill every day and be done with it and not have to worry about eating too much/the right stuff/the wrong stuff/too little etc etc etc

delilahlilah Fri 14-Sep-12 17:10:24

It's taken me ages to track down this thread!

zoo I totally agree sad A tablet instead of a meal, great idea! I was hoping to give Herbalife a go , having heard good things, but it seems extortionate. I'd struggle to afford a tub of their shake powder!

I hope this thread stays active. It's so good to know other people actually understand.

javotte Fri 14-Sep-12 18:10:05

Hi everyone! I'm really struggling ATM - if I don't keep myself busy with housework I spend my days eating chocolate and biscuits sad. I don't want my baby to be born with high blood sugar levels! I'm trying to eat lean ham or cheese instead, but it is hard.

DippyDoohdah Fri 14-Sep-12 21:39:40

I did so well for nearly 2 Weeks on the no carbs but not got back in the waggon yet. Too many other things to be in control of at moment so eating out of not so bad as was with evening picking but lunch times see me "rewarding" self with self indulgent lunch..stressful job and comfort eating colleagues..aagh!

SoleSource Sun 07-Oct-12 18:51:21

Overeatingitus I am suffering from. I feel strange cannot shake it.

DippyBlinkey Wed 03-Apr-13 23:12:36

Bumping, any takers? smile

DoubleLifeIsALifeHalved Wed 03-Apr-13 23:29:29

Hello, pleased to see this thread! Can I join you? I'm a rubbish emotional eater ( or should that be a highly proficient one as its the stopping eating in rubbish at!).

My whole life fell apart 5/6 yrs ago and although I've always had bad eating habits my metabolism was ultra fast & able to disguise it. From that moment my body now shows what i put into it & I've been getting fatter & fatter ever since.

I hate the way I look, I hate my Body, I hate myself for being like this, I hate going out of the house & letting other people see my disgustingness... I feel like I have a sign over me saying 'look at my vastness, look at me wobble, look how disgusting & pathetic I am, look at how much I hate myself' sad

I think councelling would help, but is hard to do practically and do many other things are a priority and urgent now... I have access to a pain psychologist but can't really use it to tap into the eating / weight problems as she's actually huge herself & quite stridently 'I'm comfortable in my body nothing wrong with my shape'... Which makes it impossible for me to say how I loathe myself

DippyBlinkey Thu 04-Apr-13 09:22:59

Hi double. Your psychologist is a professional and thus should not impose her values onto you ... I work with people with addictions and encourage them to find healthier pastimes, such as joining a gym. I am 4 stone over my usual weight but do not expect others not to want their own goals. At best she could refer you for some other counselling?
I really feel for you having those thoughts when you step pout of the house, but as you have already said, it's just a physical representation of your unhappiness, it's a bit like your heart on your sleeve iyswim, and all that will change when you get some help dealing with your emotions.
Do you have children? I have started buying snacks that they like but I do not, as really before it was 'one for them (two for mum)!'

Isabeller Thu 04-Apr-13 10:29:30

I am obese on the BMI scale and trying to lose weight without much success. I have slowly improved my diet and exercise habits and recently started to log all food and exercise on MyFitnessPal which I think is helping but no real change in weight yet. There's definitely an element of emotional eating especially in the evening. Yesterday I ate well all day then had 500+ unnecessary calories in a snack in the evening.

I really indentify with what you say about being embarrassed to be seen Double I don't like seeing friends or family because I feel bad and wrong to be as large as I am.

If I lost 3 stone I would be in the overweight category and I'm sure I'd feel a lot more comfortable. I might even feel able to see some old friends again.

DippyDoohDahDay Thu 04-Apr-13 20:20:16

I identify with that too...hate seeing people that have not seen for a few years and they stutter ' er, hi, well you look, er, well,..'
And bless my (skinny) aunt, first words from her lips at our annual endurance get together are always 'so, are you on a diet'. Love that.

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