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Aworks website, anyone know what this is?

(46 Posts)
npg1 Wed 11-Jan-12 13:59:40

Hi everyone.

Well I read up a few things and it looks like its not good.

Me and OH have been together a year. He moved in in about july time. He had a credit card which has reached the limit and I told him to cut the card up as he struggles with payments. I have never seen a statement as he says they go to his parents house where he previously lived. I know this card worries him and I said I would be happy to use my savings money to pay the card off, £2000 in the course of about 5 months!

Anyway, today I am using his car, went into the boot and there is a bag with rubbish in etc and on top was a credit card statement so I decided to have a look. There are about 3 payments of £30- £50 each time to aworks. Now am I over reacting? How do I bring this up with him when he gets home tonight, 'oh by the way I saw a statement in the car'? am I a mugg for paying this all off?

We are getting married in september. Please help

Malificence Wed 11-Jan-12 14:06:29

From other similar threads, awork is adult works, where prostitutes advertise, sorry.

npg1 Wed 11-Jan-12 14:10:17

yes thats what I thought.

Charbon Wed 11-Jan-12 14:12:05

I remember reading about it on another forum once - and Malificience is right, but it seems there's a thread about it on this site too:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/1204823-awork-does-anyone-know-what-this-is

Sorry sad

I was coming to say the same as Malificence, really sorry

"I know this card worries him and I said I would be happy to use my savings money to pay the card off, £2000 in the course of about 5 months"

You sound more like his mother than his partner. Aworks is only one part of the overall problem here; your relationship all seems way too much and too soon.

Why are you taking responsibility for what is actually his problem?. What has he actually done to address this; seemingly nothing much if his credit card statement was found in the rubbish.

Why do you want to enable him in such a manner; enabling only gives you a false sense of control. Who is also to say that he would not run up such debts again (and what has he spent this on?). Your own funds will then be spent.

SardineQueen Wed 11-Jan-12 14:16:35

I'm so sorry that you have found this out.

HereIGo Wed 11-Jan-12 14:39:25

Ques:
Are you overreacting?
How do you bring it up?
Ans:
You prick you are dumped and you owe me 2000
I'm off for an STD check

izzywhizzyswinterwarmer Wed 11-Jan-12 14:40:02

Unless you're happy with a sleazebag who is an habitual user of porn/prostitution, you should withdraw any offer you've made to pay off his credit card debt, cancel the wedding, and end this relationship without further ado.

I suggest you also get yourself tested for stds as it's entirely possible that he's used the site - www.adultworks.com - to make contact with escorts (prostitutes) that he will have had sex with in rl.

QuintessentiallyShallow Wed 11-Jan-12 14:42:15

Sorry.
Have you actually paid off his card for him? If so, you have possibly paid for him to have sex with escorts. So sorry.

Are you still going to marry him?

npg1 Wed 11-Jan-12 14:48:52

God this is all such a shock. No I havent paid off anything yet but I have paid £1200 towards the wedding.

All the money he earns he pays towards the rent and bills so he just pays minimum payment on the credit card as he cant afford anything else. I asked him if I could see a statement asd he seemed to reach the max limit very quickly baring in mind he only had it for 5 ish months before I got him to cut it up.

He has been in my house doing this, I just cant believe it.

But my biggest question is what do I say when he gets home as I have been looking through the bag?

GypsyMoth Wed 11-Jan-12 14:59:00

Just tell him what you told us.

Sausagesarenottheonlyfruit Wed 11-Jan-12 14:59:04

"I was looking through this bag of rubbish to make sure there was nothing personal in there before I threw it away."

pinkandstripey Wed 11-Jan-12 15:00:14

You think your 'snooping' is the biggest misdemenour here????!!!!!!

Doesn't matter how you found it, if he asks then say he shouldn't have left it lying around!!!

izzywhizzyswinterwarmer Wed 11-Jan-12 15:03:25

You're surely not thinking you owe him any explanation of how you came to see this statement? It was in the boot of his car ffs, and anyone opening the bag of rubbish could have seen it.

FWIW I wouldn't be listening to any explanation from him and I'd have his bags packed with 'the' bag and the statement on top waiting for him on the doorstep.

Do you have wedding insurance? If not, as there are 9 months to go before the soon to be cancelled event it's probable that you'll be able to recover what you've laid out.

Chalk any shortfall up to valuable experience, or get it back off him through the county courts if necessary - I'll be happy to help you draft a claim.

npg1 Wed 11-Jan-12 15:06:53

gosh I just cant believe all this. A few months ago I caught him on a dating website and he said he was looking for this best mate! I have just found another credit card statement from july with £80 worth of awork.co.uk payments on there. I also looked through the rest of the 'rubbish' in the bag and there were several statements from last yr with lots of payments.

U sure awork and aworks are the same thing lol? Just so I have my facts right

AnyFucker Wed 11-Jan-12 15:12:24

The end justifies the means here

let him bluster about how you found out all he likes

But if you have any sense of self-preservation you wil dump his sorry ass today and keep it dumped

get back what deposits you can for the wedding and write the rest off

and in future, it's best not to bankroll a feckless man even before you find out he is a user of prostitutes and perhaps have some counselling to discover why you settled for such a poor example of a respectful relationship

I am very sorry this has happened

izzywhizzyswinterwarmer Wed 11-Jan-12 15:12:30

When, in the not too distant future, you are happily married to a man who's worthy of your love and affection, I hope that you will be able to look back and see today as being your 'lucky day' - the day you found out that you were planning to hitch your star to an utter sleazebag and saved yourself years of mistrust and misery, not to mention the 2 grand that you were unwittingly intending to spend to fund his use of prostitutes.

AnyFucker Wed 11-Jan-12 15:14:07

the dating website is probably just the tiny tip of a very large iceberg (as is often the case on these kinds of threads)

izzywhizzyswinterwarmer Wed 11-Jan-12 15:34:14

There's absolutely no doubt. Any payments made to the adultworks site show on credit card statements as payment to awork.co.uk.

npg1 Wed 11-Jan-12 17:01:20

Just got back from school run. He will be back at about 6.30 and im just going to give him the statements and say can you explain please. I spoke to my friend on the phone and she said a prostitute wont be that cheap and it could be phone sex. I have worked out that he has done it on a date I went to work for the morning, straight after we came home from a lovely family holiday in spain!

AnyFucker Wed 11-Jan-12 17:06:14

You need to have a think what you are willing to tolerate

Shagging a prostitute is a deal breaker but phone sex is not ?

An attached man joining a dating site is ok ?

marrying a feckless cocklodger is something you are prepared to do ?

I don't mean to fire questions at you, but I have the horrible feeling he is going to wriggle off the hook here and you will marry this absolute twat

SardineQueen Wed 11-Jan-12 17:06:46

A quick google indicates that awork.co.uk is a website for sexual services.

I am so sorry about this, it must be such an awful shock. At least you found out before the wedding and before giving him lots of money.

Becauseimperfect Wed 11-Jan-12 17:09:51

Yes a prostitute would be that cheap.

OldLadyKnowsNothing Wed 11-Jan-12 17:10:18

Sums of £30-80 will be to purchase aworks credits, which are spent on private galleries and webcamming. He probably hasn't shagged a prostitute, but check statements for cash withdrawals in the £100-150 region.

npg1 Wed 11-Jan-12 17:11:16

oh I definately have to make a decision and there is no doubt what he has been doing and ebraying me for months. Phone sex, prostitutes anything is discusting and im devestated. A little bit of porn on the net I think I can deal with but this is a huge issue

AnyFucker Wed 11-Jan-12 17:16:48

I am so sorry x

npg1 Wed 11-Jan-12 17:18:08

I just dont know what to say or do at the moment x

izzywhizzyswinterwarmer Wed 11-Jan-12 17:26:26

You're quite right - using the services of prostitutes in any way, shape, or form, is an humungous issue that is a dealbreaker for any self-respecting woman and in order to retain your self respect, the only thing you can do is require him to leave your home tonight.

The fact that he was back on his favourite site within hours of returning from your family holiday suggests that he's an addict and you would be ill-advised to believe any promises he may make because he won't be able to go cold turkey, but he will go underground and become more cunning about hiding his sleazy activities.

Do you, or does he, have dc from a former relationship?

npg1 Wed 11-Jan-12 17:43:27

yes I have 2 DC aged 9 and 5yrs

SardineQueen Wed 11-Jan-12 17:44:31

I am so so sorry npg I can't imagine how you feel. What an appalling shock.

izzywhizzyswinterwarmer Wed 11-Jan-12 18:19:52

Unfortunately, as AF has observed, what you have discovered is most probably merely the tip of an iceberg and it's stomach-churning to think that he's been interacting with this and other prostitution sites under your nose and in the home of your dcs.

No doubt you feel that your world has turned upside down, and I can only hope that your shock and disbelief rapidly turns to righteous anger and that you find the courage to do what you know you have to do.

Have faith that there's a good man waiting for you, honey, and he won't abuse your trust or do anything to jeopardise your happiness.

lazarusb Wed 11-Jan-12 20:20:49

Really feel for you OP. But be thankful - at some point in the future, not now necessarily - that you discovered this before you married him. What a sickening scumbag.

threeleftfeet Wed 11-Jan-12 23:26:24

At the very least he's using your money to wank with (as you offered to pay the bill).

Not very respectful to say the least.

This man hasn't got your best interests at heart (or your DCs).

Be thankful you saw him for what he is before you got legally stuck to him!

TooMuchInLove Thu 12-Jan-12 13:56:57

God i am so sorry for you. that website was my partners problem as well!! i wish it didn't exist but it does sad
some people can get over it, i am trying to as we speak but its so hard. just look after yourself, the twat doesn't deserve you x

SpikeInTheBasement Fri 13-Jan-12 17:40:45

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

izzywhizzyswinterwarmer Sat 14-Jan-12 17:15:07

Any else think that the knob threw himself on the OP's mercy, 'I seriously fucked up, it'll never happen again, blah de blah', and she's going to clear his debts before the wedding that she'll be paying for?

Sadly yes, izzy. Maybe this has given him the wake-up call he needs...he'll support her at the GUM clinic and be the perfect, faithful husband with a new-found respect for women.

Maybe.

garlicfrother Sat 14-Jan-12 17:33:09

In case you've any remaining doubts, OP - and for people who'll find your thread after finding what you did - I've looked up who owns the awork.co.uk domain. You can do it here.

Domain name:
awork.co.uk

Registrant:
AW Systems

Registrant type:
Non-UK Corporation

Registrant's address:
Suite 254
166 North Street
Belize City
Belize
--

And this from Adultwork's website:

Any sexually explicit materials found on the Site were produced and provided by third party advertisers or content providers and are merely being distributed by AW Systems International Ltd via the Site.

The same company owns the adultwork.co.uk domain.

If I were you, I'd convert the wedding parts you've already paid for into a massive party if you can't get a refund! (I'm sure about this, because it's what I should have done ... )

Sorry for you.

garlicfrother Sat 14-Jan-12 17:41:06

Love that they're based in Belize hmm Tax cheats as well as pimps.

Izzy - Let's hope she's at her Mum's, getting over him, eh?

anon1981 Sun 16-Dec-12 02:34:08

Hi girls, this might seem a little odd but I use AW to advertise my adult services. I thought I'd come on here to shed a bit of light on your situation... When guys put money on their AW account, it isn't to make bookings with escorts, it's to webcam or phone chat with them (not that that's acceptable of course!) If your fella is saying he just "messages girls for kicks" - That's bulsh!t. He'd be deleted off the site for wasting peoples time. If you can obtain the relevant email address/username/password you should be able to see their feedback. So, even if they've only done a little bit of phone sex... you'll be able to see when and for how long the conversation was and who it was with. If any of you lovely ladies need any info regarding this matter... let me know. I'll be glad to help! AO x

carmenelectra Sun 16-Dec-12 10:14:53

OP I seriously hope that you have booted this loser out after telling him what you have found. There is nothing to discuss in my opinion.

He has been spending all his dosh on a site where prostitutes advertise their business. Lovely. Even if its webcamming, are you oK with that. Interacting with a real life woman. And you were gonna foot the bill! I'd be incandescant with rage. Even if he hasn't shagged a prostitute yet, he will.

The thing is, this is a relatively new relationship where you are planning a wedding so presumably really 'happy'. And he is still off doing this. Maybe he thinks that this isn't cheating? I'd be really worried that someone I was marrying has such massive difference in boundaries to me.

Like I said, he's doing it now at a happy stage in your life. Imagine if you go through a bad patch what he would do?

janelikesjam Sun 16-Dec-12 10:40:57

I am so sorry OP to hear this, it must be very distressing. On the bright side you found out before you got married, you haven't given him any money, and a possible loss of £1200 on the wedding still represents a lucky escape.

I don't really think you need to confront him as to how you found out, you don't owe him any explanation actually (although you could tell him you know he uses online sexual services if you want and leave it at that, who needs the drama).

Keeping his "post" going to his mother's is a big red flag, but hindsight is a great thing.

stuffitunderthebed Sun 16-Dec-12 10:48:05

Zombie thread?

VitoCorleone Sun 16-Dec-12 15:29:13

This thread is from January

jono2014 Tue 07-Jan-14 21:34:51

I wanted to add something to this just in case someone else finds them self in the same situation.

adultwork is an adult site but it doesn't necessarily mean the guy in question paid for prostitutes/escorts. You can video chat with people, or you can pay for porn. You CAN'T pay for sex (and escorts are not just for that purpose). Maybe he was into some kinky fetish he didn't want to open up about, which says more about the relationship than anything else.

The people in that relationship hadn't been together that long - how old was the credit card statement? Also if he wasn't very good with money maybe it wasn't him making the purchase, maybe his card got cloned and he never paid much attention?

You can also become addicted to that sort of activity and site, just like gambling or drink. Especially if he was out of a relationship for an extended period of time before they got together. Maybe he was finding it hard to change his ways.

I wouldn't have jumped to the conclusions most people did here without the facts.

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