bit rude for a tuesday morning, but oral sex question

[littlebitrude]

I have a lovely new boyfriend. Hes early 30's and was, shall we say a bit of a late starter on the sex front.
Anyway, he confessed that he has never gone down on a woman, but would really like too.

Hes, er, very enthuastic about everything else. seems to have a rather sheltered sex life while im a bit wild.

I dont know if i should belive his confession, and how i feel about it really, or if im disapointed as im not going to get amazing oral sex, not least for a while till he learns what hes doing, or if i should be flattered that hes not done it before but is desperate to do it with me.

and how on earth do i teach him what to do?

[EricNorthmansmistress]

what do you want? I think you are being a bit mean, why wouldn't you believe him? And how can you be disappointed that it won't be good? That's pretty awful.

My DH hadn't done it before either. It didn't take him long to get the hang of it. Sex isn't a performance, we all have to learn and there's a first time for all of us. As for 'teaching' him, depends how much he enjoys being instructed. As for me, I prefer to experiment and figure things out by the person's reactions, I highly resent being instructed unless it's something I've specifically asked.

[littlebitrude]

im not going to lay there and bark orders at him.
But i do find it a little bit unbelieveable that a man, in his mid 30's has never ever done that before. Its hardly something out of the ordinary!

Its not awful to be honest. Of course im a little disapointed, but then also kind of flattered.

But mostly im just really really surprised.

[expatinscotland]

Why not just let him see how he gets on? He may have watched some instructional vids or something and surprise you.

[littlebitrude]

i will do its the instructional vid viewing thats the worrying part! if hes got his ideas from porn they are going to be so far from reality! lol

[marriednotdead]

Can't believe I'm sharing this here but 2 exes lost their OS virginity with me
And they were both brilliant from day 1!
Be flattered and excited, not disappointed. Even if it's not perfect first time (and it might be) you get to teach them how you like things. Can't see a problem myself

[expatinscotland]

i didn't mean porn, though, i mean actual instructional vids. they're out there, you know!

personally, i'd rather he tried it out on me than not get any oral at all. that, like small dick, would be a deal breaker for me.

i expect to get what i give .

[AnyFucker]

How wonderful

An OS virgin...no bad habits, you can teach him just how you enjoy it

What's not to like ?

[AmazingBouncingFerret]

I echo AnyFuckers comment.

[littlebitrude]

id not thought of it that way round.
Hes very enthuastic and said he would like to please me as i please him. ive got to give him 10/10 for effort.

And no bad habbits.

This could work to my advantage couldnt it.

I was just so surprised, still am really but it doesnt really matter does it.

[AnyFucker]

Stop trying to make yourself believe it don't matter ('cos it clearly does...to you, anyway)

Just get on with the tuition and enjoy !

[Malificence]

It's hardly difficult to master is it?
If he's a good kisser, I would think that's half the battle.

I would have thought that there's no "right" way of doing it anyway, he might have had a fantastic technique with someone else that left you absolutely cold.

As for his lack of experience, he could have been married for years and not done it, plenty of women hate the very idea of oral, giving or receiving.

I think I'd been married a couple of years before DH ventured down there and I didn't start having orgasms until I was in my twenties.

[littlebitrude]

do women really hate the idea of giving/recieving oral sex? REALLY???!!!! Who?

saying that he was surprised that i love giving oral sex, and that doing it turns me on. Hes also never come while somesones done that, let alone in cum in their mouth. SOrry if a bit graphic.

Any - its not that it bothers me, its just that im shocked. Hes also never had bum sex. though that might be more of a friday night thread!! Noone has ever dressed up for him, hes never had sex outside the house, never had phone sex etc etc etc... Nothing.

But then i know im very experimental. always have been right from the start, so maybe hes not that unusual.

The fact that hes/we are openly talking about it is good, and i think its going to be a lot of fun, for both of us.

[AnyFucker]

keep posting

and yes, some women (and men...I know, how does that work ) don't like oral sex

each to their own, I say

[Malificence]

Erm, I'd consider myself adventurous but I've never had bumsex, not had sex outdoors, nor phone sex, neither has my DH (obviously).
He's not unusual, neither are you.
Apparently only 10% of couples go in for bumsex anyway.
And yes, lots of women will neither give nor receive oral sex, I don't understand it either because I love both, but there you go, there is no such thing as normal when it comes to sex.

[AnyFucker]

OP, be careful you don't frighten the poor bloke away

[littlebitrude]

i know there is no such thing as normal, far from it. Ive dabbled in fetish, bdsm and group sex and met all kinds of interesting people.

Maybe its my experiences that are a little surprising and i just assume that everyone is the same.

[AnyFucker]

I would say you are the unusual one, tbh

[littlebitrude]

oh he thinks its amazing. He cant believe that im so comftable with myself and so uninhibited. he said he plans on taking full advantage of that.

But he knows i dont sleep about and have onlt done such things while being in a long term relationship.

[littlebitrude]

maybe i am.

[ItsAllGoingToBeFine]

I'm not keen on giving or receiving

Giving: I get really bad jaw ache and am rubbish so DP takes ages, so I get bad jaw ache and bored Any tips? Seriously, me and DPs were complete virgins, OS as well, before we got together.

And receiving - I'm worried that I smell, look ugly, incompetent gardening

[AnyFucker]

Plenty of help on t'internet, IAGTBF

Don't give the wankers any fodder, girls

[Malificence]

You don't sleep around but you've had group sex while in a relationship?

This is getting silly now, you've over egged the pudding a leetle too much.

[littlebitrude]

oh thats such a shame. you shouldnt be worried about those things at all. They should be the furthest things from your mind.
Maybe few glasses of wine might help?

[EricNorthmansmistress]

ItsAll -
don't expect to make him come through oral necessarily. If he's clean and you're horny then giving oral should be a turn on for you, but you only do it as long as you are enjoying it, for us, oral is a teaser, not the main event. DH would take forever to come through oral so for me it's not worth it. I use it to get him going then move on when I've had enough. Use your hands as well if it gives you jaw ache and concentrate on the head/balls with your mouth.

As for you - if you wash right before you absolutely will not smell! I also guarantee you don't look ugly, men love a good look at a fanny, turns them right on. What we might think looks a bit funny they think looks like a sexual haven I shave my undercarriage myself which takes moments and makes it nicer for both of us.

[TBJP]

You don't sleep about and have only done such things whilst being in a LTR, yet you've had group sex? Oh, ok.