Hi,
I am a mum to 2 children aged 3 and 4 so i im not taking to writng this thread lightly, everyday i feel something different.
Here goes, a few months before me and my bf go together he had a one night stand and got a girl pregnant, one minute she was saying yes its yours and the next saying it was someone elses, me and my bf split (not because of this) he went away with work for several months (forces) when he came back the girl had written him a letter to his mothers address saying that she had given birth and if he wanted to see the baby he could, his head was very messed up and in the few weeks he was back in the uk he didnt get in touch. he then went back awayagain and she started claiming csa off of him, which he has no problem with at all, he understands that if this is his baby he needs to pay for it, but the problem he/we are having is if he is better off no seeing the baby as its settled with its mum and has a close family network around it, he thinks that because he lives 8 hours drive away from the baby and he doesnt drive or have property there etc that he will rarely be able to see the baby, he is also away on front line for the next 2 years so time in the uk is very little and thinks it will do more harm to the baby seeing him occasionally than not meeting it at all, the baby is now one and he hasnt had any contact from the mother since, he has a mobile number but are things best left as they are? is he better off having no contact but paying for it and no doing the whole sending birthday card thing etc, we nearly went through the whole dna thing but i think we was scared that a positive result would open up new emotions etc, my bf is amazing with my children which i know doesnt make up for him not seeing his (possibly) own child but is paying for its up bringing enough? im not a cold hearted person and i would never tell him not to meet his baby, were just really confused and want whats best for the baby and its mother etc. any advice would be great.
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Relationships
Would it be better all around if he doesnt meet his baby
6 replies
kikismummy · 13/06/2010 09:54
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