How often do you have sex?

[woodchuck]

Just wondering really, as the averages that you hear in the media seem unlikely to be representative of people with small children.

I only just feel like I am getting my groove back and youngest dc is 4. We now manage about twice a week, although until recently it has been more like once or twice a month.

So what's normal for parents of young kids?

[Nemofish]

Blimey! I think you do really well!

Since dd was about 2 I have had very little urge to merge. I average about twice a year.

Don't know if we are in any way shape or form 'normal' though!

[oiteach]

2 or 3 times a week.
According to my friends that is more than them but I think it is probably about average.

[MadameCastafiore]

Are you some perv who has come on just to post questions about other women's sex lives?

Just weird to have a spate of questions about sex so early in the week and in the evening!

[woodchuck]

nope, not a perv/trucker. I was just contemplating things getting better, and I am wondering whether its a case of the kids getting older, or me getting older - or are the dirty thirties another urban myth?

[GeekOfTheWeek]

3ish times a week.

Not nearly enough imo

[Ronaldinhio]

stop bloody counting

what is wrong with you people?
just another thing to measure up against

[woodchuck]

okay, I suppose what I am interested in is whether your sex life got worse when you had kids and if/when it started to get better.

I'm not going to up to 3 times a week, just so's i can do it as much as GeekOfTheWeek!

[NinthWave]

Didn't we have this thread last week? And the week before that?

[oiteach]

?? Ronaldinhio?? Am not measuring up against anyone. am answering a question. Have discussed it with friends over a merry bottle of wine hence am aware ish of their norm compared to mine.

Luckily the sex is good enough for me to remember how often we've been doing it lately.

I was single when I had dd though so I can't give you an answer about when it got better/worse for me.

[Lauriefairycake]

6 times a month

bit more than once a week

[bibbitybobbityhat]

Why are you interested? why do you care?

[IWouldNotCouldNotWithAGoat]

Why are people being so abrasive and arsey about it? You don't HAVE to contribute! Or are you pissed becos you never get it?

[Ronaldinhio]

it's a pointless question measured in a meaningless way

you need to have a sex life that works for you and your relationship and this constant comparison to others does no one any good

do you mean sex acts?
to orgasm?
sexual intercourse?
sex play?
heavy petting?
it's all part of a continuum and impossible to measure in any true sense
also comparing it to others might not/will not include all the things that you personally might find gratifying

does that explain it better for you?

[IWouldNotCouldNotWithAGoat]

You don't get it very often, do you.

[bibbitybobbityhat]

I don't have to contribute but I am free to contribute and that was my contribution .

Its a very immature question. I am actually reasonably interested in how often some of the people I know have sex (and sometimes ask/discuss with friends) but how can how often random strangers on an internet forum has sex possibly be of interest to anyone?

If someone asked "do you use Colagate or Macleans?" I would have pretty much the same reaction. Which I am entitled to.

I probably should have just used the biscuit.

[whittywan]

IWouldNot

[ImSoNotTelling]

Um well in response to your revised question

Yes our sex life has suffered due to having teh children

have we "got our groove back" yet? No.

[ImSoNotTelling]

But then we weren't together for long before teh kids, so were still in "honeymoon period" of shagging, so I have no idea what the "true" baseline is, to compare whetehr we are at it more or not.

If we hadn't had the kids our sex life might have slowed down anyway.

It's all a continuum isn't it. Peaks n troughs and all that. I'm knackered. This is a trough. I look forward to it not being a trough any more at some point in the future. I imagine DH does too

[IWouldNotCouldNotWithAGoat]

I love the essay-style answers that run along the lines

'What an extremely dull question. Having seen from the thread title how very dull I found this topic, I hastened over to tell you all how this thread is of no interest to me whatsoever. Although I can see that the thread has brought about lively debate among other posters, I fail to see why and would like to reiterate that this is a colossal waste of my time'.

[bibbitybobbityhat]

Glad you liked it Goaty.

[IWouldNotCouldNotWithAGoat]

I quite like Goaty. Henceforth I shall be Goaty!

[Irishchic]

IWouldNot - I agree with you.

I think its an interesting question. As a mum of 5 little ones I think our sex life has been all but decimated, but is now creeping back up to once a week and for that I feel rather proud of myself actually.

Bibbity MN is choc full of these types of questions and judging from the responses most people seem to find these personal types of postings worth responding to.

NinthWave - So this topic has been done before...em, so what? People can post what they want, as often as they want i think.

[darkandstormy]

about 2 a week says dh.I say he needs to get a new abacus

[Alouiseg]

It gets even more infrequent when the dc are older because they never go to bloody bed.