I think DH could be mentall ill, don't know what to do

[Mythology]

2 years ago DH became seriously depressed. Quit his job and ended up getting a 16 hr week cleaning job. He's set off at 5am and be back home by 7am. He'd then go back to bed (often in his clothes that he'd worked in) and stay there until afternoon and he'd still go to bed at 8pm some nights. He was constantly eating too.

Anyway it got a lot better, now he's kind of back to how he was when we first met but he's acting really strange and its not like last time. I actually want him to leave. He is scaring me. A quick example, a few days ago he was really down, wouldn't do anything, kept saying he was useless, everything was pointless, we had no future, everything was crap and he felt depressed. Then one day he woke up like a completely different person. All smiles, full of energy. Kept hugging and kissing me, going on about how happy he was, how he was looking forward to the future, how we should take out a huge loan, go on holiday and not worry about it because its only money and not important and we needed to see the world before we died etc. It was nice to see him happy so I ignored the wierd comments. Then the next day I got up for work, he was already up, sat on the sofa with a cup of coffee. He smiled and said "I've had 2 jugs of this already, I'm climbing the walls" (2 jugs of coffee is the same as around 10 cups of it. I was like "Ok I wouldn't drink anymore if I were you" and I went to work. When I got home he had got a felt tip pen and just covered the living room walls in pictures, writing, scribbles, he's poured god knows what all over the carpet and toothpaste had been squirted all over the bathroom. He was sat there and said "ok, don't kick off, there is a reason for it". I was too gobsmacked to ven speak but he continued "I thought we needed to decorate so while I'm in the mood, I've ruined everything so we have no choice but to do it all up!". The toothpaste was apparantly wasted as we needed more anyway and he wanted to make sure we didn't forget. He'd emptied my shampoos down the bath, the shower gel was all over the tiles.

I started shouting at him and he just laughed at me and said I would thank him for it later. What do I do now? Can I actually call a doctor? Am I over-reacting? I don't know what the hell to do.

And yes, I've namechanged for obvious reasons.

[stellabeen]

You need to contact your GP for him, he sounds very unwell.

[Anniegetyourgun]

Interesting choice of name.

[jooseyfruit]

he needs to see GP asap. could be some sort of bi-polar disorder. take care x

[madonnawhore]

Sounds like classic bi-polar behaviour. I'm not a doctor, obviously, but I have two friends who both have bi-polar parents and this all sounds very familiar.

It can be managed quite successfully with therapy and drugs, so get him to a GP asap and start the process of getting a handle on it.

[belledechocolatefluffybunny]

I think you should call the doctor, it sounds like he's in the manic phase of bipolar disorder to be honest so he needs some help. Give the GP a call and take it from there.

[Mythology]

I named myself after the first thing I could think of. DH has a mythology game sat right in front of me.

[belledechocolatefluffybunny]

Call the GP

[malinkey]

Yes, phone your GP. They might have a mental health outreach team or similar in your area who could come and assess him if the GP doesn't do it themselves.

You are not over-reacting.

[AttilaTheMeerkat]

I would call the GP in your circumstances asap and keep your own self safe in the meantime.

Presumably his GP knows of his ongoing depression issues, they need to be kept unpdated. Talk to a mental health charity (e.g MIND, Depression alliance) as well in the longer term - this man could well be in the grip of a very serious mental health problem like manic depression (from what you write he seems to be in the grip of mania). You need support too.

[Mythology]

Dh's doctor is different to mine. Do I call his doctor or mine? what do I say? Will they think its a prank call? What on earth will DH say when he finds out what I'v done? I'm frightened actually, of what will happen, of what IS happening and of DH, not because I think he'll hurt me but if someone called the men in white coats for me, I'd never forgive them.

[belledechocolatefluffybunny]

Call his doctor and request a home visit. Just explain that he appears to be having a manic episode and you need some help. They won't think it's a pank call. He will understand that you are concerned for him when he is well.

[madonnawhore]

Call your GP and they ought to be able to advise you on the next step. Men in white coats isn't a certainty by any means, but if your H is being a danger to you or himself, it's possible he could get sectioned. It takes A LOT for someone to be sectioned though (a friend works in a psych ward and knows a bit about the process), so it's not like he'd be carted off in a padded wagon without you having any say in it.

Call your GP first and take it from there. They'd be being negligent if they didn't believe you or refused to act, so don't worry about that either. If you don't feel satisfied with their response for any reason then, as someone mentioned already, give MIND a call.

[oiteach]

Will you be able to forgive him if he really hurts you though? Or what if he hurts himself?

He needs help, he might not be too chuffed with you when help arrives but he'll see it differently when he is feeling better.

You can call his doctor as he will have your dh's history anyway.
You need to state everything he is doing, don't play it down for fear of sounding daft.We had to get help for BIL fairly recently and we had to emphasise just how bizarre his behaviour was to get that help.

[JaceyBee]

Where in the country are you?

In my area I would call the crisis team, they have I think a 4 hour turnaround for a home visit. You can try calling his GP, they will not be able to share any confidential info with you but the GP does have a duty of care to him. Otherwise the local Community Mental Health Team but they may need a GP referral.

He does indeed sound as though he is in the manic phase of bipolar, the CMHT will be well versed in these symptoms and have a lot of experience with dealing with people who don't believe they are ill.

It is very important that you do something though, he could spiral down into a depression at any time and become suicidal. I know you don't like the idea of calling 'the men in white coats' but trust me, they have seen it all before and know how best to help him. Good luck.x

[AttilaTheMeerkat]

You need to call his GP and tell them exactly what has transpired here. They won't think it is a prank call, they will have his depression already documented.

Your H could well be in danger of hurting himself here. You can help him by making that call. He is not a well man. One in four people will suffer some type of mental health problem in their lifetime and you are in a position to help him here. You must act for your sake as well as his.

[cestlavielife]

when did this happen? is the mess all over floor today right now?

if the evidence is there right now call 999 for ambulance and have them come and assess...

if you have cleared up then call his GP.

if you ahve cleared up - then next time (and there WILL be a next time - he clearly is ill) make sure you take photos/video him - you may need this later as he will likely flux between manic and fine and make out you making it all up....

[SolidGoldBrass]

You need to seek medical help for him ASAP this is seriously disturbed behaviour. If you have young DC living with you, are there trusted relatiives they could go and stay with?

[Gracie123]

Definitely worth speaking to GP about (assuming you have the same one).

My DH had to inform our GP that I was having psychotic episodes after DS was born, he was terrified, but they were really good. They never told me what he had said (he told me a few months later) and actually they were a great support to him as well as me. They made it clear that my condition was borderline and probably temporary, but if at any point he felt unable to cope that they could have me taken somewhere for respite care. It never got to that stage and thankfully, with the help of professional CPN etc... I got better very quickly.

You need to get help sooner rather than later though. This is the kind of stuff that could destroy what might end up a stronger marriage when it's all over.

I love my DH and I have NEVER blamed him for calling the Dr. I'm actually incredibly grateful as I would never have had the balls to tell the GP how I was really feeling.

[SueMunch]

I agree with the above - get in touch with your GP immediately.

If it helps, I have a good friend who has experienced psychotic episodes. Please don't be afraid of the terminology - I know it sounds frightening but it can be treated.

Your DH sounds as if he has reached a breaking point. Take care

[meandollie]

Any news Mythoology?

Just read this and was worried for you, must be a frightening situation to be in.

Did you call the GP?

How are you?

[ladylush]

Here is what will happen if you call your GP. The GP will either come to your home to talk to you and your dh or will make an urgent referral to a CMHT (community mental health team) who will make contact with you and arrange to do a home visit. This will be conducted by a mental health professional (nurse or social worker for e.g. and a psychiatrist may accompany them). They will assess your dh and make a plan which may or may not involve treatment. If they feel your dh can be managed safely at home, they will arrange a follow up appointment to monitor situation. If he is deemed unsafe to self/others, they may make a recommendation that he be detained under the MHA (taken to hospital for treatment). By the way, the GP can also make a medical recommendation for detention under the MHA.
You need to take action fast.

[ladylush]

There will be support you can access as well - but right now you need to act quickly.

[Gracie123]

Mythology please let us know if you rang someone. We're all concerned for you.