***I AM SHE-RAH!***

[pinemartina]

And I am SO POWERFUL that...

I can make P's become angry simply with the expression on my face,or by a gesture imperceptible to the human eye...

I forced my xh to marry me,have dc's and become swamped and trapped by responsibility when he really just wanted a quiet life going out with his mates

I can make my parents feel any feeling I decide

I can make any human being I choose feel any feeling I decide

I can meet the physical,nutritional,financial and emotional needs of 4 dc's ,a baby, 2 dogs - myself - forever and always,easily,gladly and without any support what so ever - because I choose it that way

and because
I am more powerful than any man - and therefore should not be surprised when they quickly become overwhelmed and intimidated by my powers and decide that I am too much for them.......and after all I am only with them out of need ,right?

And so hard that I never need, nor should I expect - or demand - praise ,recognition,hugs ,cuddles or positive feedback of any sort, like ordinary,normal people do

I should be expected to "know" the needs of others and meet them before they are expressed

I should not be surprised if,on failing to do the above,I experience unpleasant consequences - I knew exactly what I was doing ,after all

I WILL SURVIVE - and actually,may well will enjoy a rewarding,satisfying and peaceful life

(-Thanks to Prettylegs and UnlikelyAmazonian--)

[prettylegsgreatbigknockers]

HA HA HA HA!!!!!

No I am she rah!!!!!

I have made my mother buy a house she didn't want,

Made my first h move to a town he didn't want to live in.

I forced my h into buying a car he didn't really want.

I have kept my h a prisoner, stalk him endlessly, and lost all his work for him

I have ultimate power over BBC budget decisions!

I have "charmed" the mental health services into believing I am sane.....what would they know? They can't see the "real me".

I have the power to look after the house the garden and myself and my babies without being suicidal, and do it rather well actually.

I HAVE THE POWER!!!!!!

[Anniegetyourgun]

You are not a superheroine, you are a Very Naughty Girl. Now put down that sword and make my tea.

What do you mean, you won't put it down?

Waaaaaaah, she's out of control!

[littlemoominmamma]

I love you SHE - RAH! Only you have the power to make me laugh, even though I am a happily grumpy harriden. x

[Unlikelyamazonian]

I am a SHIE - LA too!!

Hurrah for our amazing superpowers that make our exes do the most extrapordinary things! I made my ex go online and buy a plane ticket for Thailand. I MADE him do it! Me, personally, zoned him into the idea and also worked his fingers on the keyboard.

I personally held his hand when he walked down to the local bank and withdrew all our money leaving me utterly upo shit creek. Huzzah!! Put THAT in your pipe and smoke it!!

I can also run a house, a toddler, two dogs, a massive gas and electricy bill, on only 5 thousand pound income a year. With zilch family support from anywhere. Wahaaay!!

I am doing it rather well too.

I am a Super Human with no extra-curricular needs. I Do not need anything other than my super powers and that dine-in rice for a quid from Asda to know that all will be well.

[Lemonylemon]

I'll raise you all on this one......

No, I am SHE RAH....

I DO IT ALL!!!!! BY MYSELF......

Oh, and I like the odd glass of wine - that is my extra-curricular activity.....

[prettylegsgreatbigknockers]

HA HA!!!!!!!

I do it on two LITRES of wine every night!every night!!!!

and get up at six in the morning, fresh as a daisy, get the kids up, give them breakfast and get them to school on time in clean AND IRONED uniforms, all homework done, and clean shoes!!!!!!!!

(double back flip, cartwheel and impressively controlled walkover!)

HA HA!!!!

[kittyonthebeam]

Just snorted in my tea and spluttered my biscuit on the screen.

Now whose special powers are responsible for that mess??

You girls just make me laugh.

[Unlikelyamazonian]

My She-rah family:

Sky
Odin (now absconded)
Star
Araad
Gunadaar
Bacu
Tippin
Tippin2

Only Sky, Bacu, Tippin and Tippin2 left now

[iamfabregasted]

Can I be she-rah too please?

I can impregnate myself with my xh sperm without us having sex, apparently.

Maybe, on the other hand, I should be Skeletor

I am the most evil being ever to walk the face of the earth and in league with the evil one

[prettylegsgreatbigknockers]

knockraven Clearly the virgin Mary as well....well done!

I too am evil and demonic! Fab innit?

MWAH HA HA HA HA!!!!

[iamfabregasted]

Pretty - I'm better than the Virgin Mary, I managed it four times....

[pinemartina]

Greetings Sister KR -

I share your gift for divine/demonic conception

5 times - 3 different victims, which proves my evil beyond doubt

Fascinating how the poor victims of such entrapment should then have to fight tooth and nail in the most disruptive way possible in order to force themselves to see their offspring...

such evil women don't therefore deserve financial support ,respect or consideration from our victims...

screeches shrilly,flaps leathery wings and flies off in search of other poor unsuspecting Narcissistic Bastards for further trickery

[iamfabregasted]

Pinemartina - 11 more like us, we have a coven

[minimamoth]

Greetings fabulous ones. I have the all seeing eye that knows where EVERY piece of paper/pen/item of clothing/tool/in fact anything in the whole **uber-verse.
I can alo perform a loaves and fishes type act with the housekeeping and am married to the great Poo Bah

[minimamoth]

obviously my superpowers don't extend to grammar or spelling or keyboard skills

[iamfabregasted]

I would like to announce that I am she-rah, the virgin mary, skeletor, supergran and batwoman all rolled into one.

And if you're name's Michael, eat my shorts.

[iamfabregasted]

your obviously - doh

my Superpowers don't extend either minimamoth

[Anniegetyourgun]

I made my ex smoke and drink. He kept wanting to give up, but all my nagging drove him to it. The clever bit is, I did this by telepathy. Which is bloody sneaky of me, because it meant nobody else could hear it, only him. That sort of treatment can drive a fellow MAD, do you hear me, MAD!!!

[pinemartina]

My xp came to collect some tools from my shed today and was in and out in half an hour without entering the house
However ,with my incredible super power I :

attacked him and tried to scratch his face whilst holding the baby
Screeched a full-on verbal attack using every swear word known to man which I kept up for an hour causing the neighbours to stop him on his way out and express concern for HIS SAFETY
Insulted his dc's,xw and parents
Demonstrated that I have ,without any doubt,got a certifiable mental illness which means I should not be left alone with children
Behaved in such a shocking fashion that any decent social worker would remove my dc's to a place of safety immediately and never return them..
ALL WITHOUT OPENING THE DOOR OR EVEN OPENING MY MOUTH!!!!

[Anniegetyourgun]

All of a piece with your earlier behaviour of running outside stark naked, pleading with cars to run you over, pinemartina. I am amazed at how your superpowers prevent the neighbours from seeing or hearing anything. You must be wearing Clark Kent's glasses (if nothing else, ahahaha).

Never mind, the midwife witnessed your last outburst and she will be putting in a full report on your unfitness. Unless of course you manage to purge her memory first. Hope she keeps her tinfoil hat on.

[prettylegsgreatbigknockers]

Blimey PM it's just as well you have your superpowers in place because othewise you'd be knackered!! I am so impressed with the way YOU make it look like it's him in front of professional health workers!! (Although I have been known to dabble in the black art of hypnotysing psychiatrists and their evil allies into not ever seeing the "real me". HA HA HAAAAAAARGH!)

More humble offerings from SHE RAH (Cheshire branch).

I MADE my h move to a beachfront flat after I physically removed him from HIS home (not mine notice) and didn't even register him to vote at his new address today. Pure evil aren't I?

"in her spandex tights....fighting for our rights....."

[Miggsie]

You have made me log into mumsnet every day.

My grandmother used to say my father made her an invalid.
He had left home for 6 years before she had her stroke.

My grandmother always used to say my mother "made" my father buy a new car every year. This is total rubbish, my dad lived for his cars, my mother was sick of a new one each year.

[Jux]

Had to resurrect this to say


YOU LOT ARE ABSOLUTELY FAN-BLOODY-TASTIC

[menetta]

Jux totally agree and if you hadn't said it I was going to , this thread made me smile so much and I want to become a SHE-RAH, do I qualify with the following..

Forced the ex to assist in the creation of the children. Completely threw him down and manhandled him into submission with my superstrength.

Became a HE-MAN for 6 months after birth of DD as ex told all he could he was and always had been gay and women repulsed him horrendously, so children couldn't possibly be his (paternity proven on both still denials came lol).

Telepathically linked with said ex and forced him to drink and smoke pot because it was, afterall, what I wanted him to do.

Somehow manage to not be in the same area (let alone building) and get him to jump out of a third story window, break his ankle and crack his skull at 3pm then 'walk' a mile down the road to inform his best mate that I had tried to kill him - potential telepathy again?? really must stop doing that might tax myself too much.

All this and more while making a pittence last as long as possible, cartwheeling my way round the supermarket to grab the bargains before the other superhero mums get them , flying high through the trees saving the minis from themselves and, low-flying paving slabs hehehe, studying to increase my powers of destruction even further.

Please tell me I fit the criteria

[Anniegetyourgun]

You are a very evil woman, Menetta. You should not have abused your powers to punish him merely for being gay, and stealing his sperm was just WRONG. So yeah, I reckon you qualify