what to do about this site being used to intimidate

[saddest]

My h, on picking up dd this morning started telling the dc's what I have been posting on here. Ds got very distressed...as did I.

I don't want to name change particularly, because I find the ongoing support from people who know my back story invulauble.

I know it's because he wants to intimidate me into not posting here any more.

Using the children in this way is scummy beyond belief....but that's what I am having to deal with and will have to pick up the pieces of their distress, and ongoing distress. Whislt his only concern is to hurt me.

Advice please?

[ShinyAndNew]

He is your ex H, yes?

Change your user name and password. Set up your own profile on the PC. Password that too. Don't tell him your passwords.

[saddest]

No, still h at the moment.

He was stalking me on facebook, but I have defriended his sources, and that seems to have done the trick. Everyone on facebook is a "sad loser", of course.

I have had the keylogging software removed from my PC.

I have changed my passwords, and have started to change them regularly.

He knew all my movements over Easter, where I went and how long I was there for.

He clearly has a lot of time on his hands.

I will have to name change I suppose.

And anyway, since I got rid, I am having moments of being not so sad now.

[SuSylvester]

omg
how odd

[Janos]

Not that odd!

It's happened on here before (thinking markhenley thread) - it's actually happened to me on another site.

Do name change saddest, and don't stop posting.

Good luck to you and your DS.

[ShinyAndNew]

So your seperated then? Please tell me you are seperated.

[prettylegsgreatbigknockers]

there was a bloke on here the other day trying to get tips on how to get his wife/ partner back. In every sense of the phrase.

He got short shrift and the thread has now gone.

[JackBauer]

Namechange, it doesn't mean that you won't get the support you have had bt means you can post without watching your back, maybe change details of your DC's (so say DD's instead of DS's).
he is obviously being a twat and you sound well rid, poor you.

[Janos]

It's happened a few times I think prettylegs

[Alouiseg]

Also set up a new email account and don't tell him about.

[dizietsma]

Ugh what a loser this guy is, so cruel to use the kids this way. Luckily having been used as a pawn in my parents conflicts I can assure you that when they get older they will see his behaviour for what it is- bullying manipulative and pathetic.

Sorry you have to deal with the fallout for the meantime though.

I would also suggest a namechange, I'm afraid. You just have to cut all access routes he has to you until he loses interest. You can always come back to your old name at a later date.

[Miggsie]

Even if you stopped posting on MN and Facebook he would still find other ways to manipulate and humiliate you.

Namechange, password your PC, in fact everything. Wipe your internet history.

Get a new internet provider if you have to and a new email account.

[ItsGraceAgain]

You're doing so well, Saddest - congrats on removing the keylogger, getting your FB back and all the other steps you've taken!

Using the children as emotional leverage is despicable. You, however, have done nothing to be ashamed of - unless you've been lying all through your posts, which I somehow doubt. I don't know why you shouldn't tell the kids you have been getting advice from friends online becuase you're not very happy ... what exactly is wrong with that?

Start a new mumsnet account if it makes you feel better. Or just change your password, and let your H read what you post as Saddest. He must have quite a bit of time on his hands ...

[therealme]

Hi Saddest, as you know this has also happened to me on another forum. My ex then began posting on my thread making no secret of his identity. He got quite a tongue-lashing from the other posters I can tell you!
Anyway, be prepared for something like the same happening here. When I read my ex's (somewhat vicious) posts I left the thread. If I had of continued to post I think it would have led to an intenet domestic row of some magnitude; interesting for the lurkers I am sure, but it wouldn't have done me any good.

I'm a bit paranoid at this stage that he will trace me on here. I know a poster on the other thread has been contacting him in private so I spend my days looking over my shoulder whenever I post these days

[saddest]

No Grace it doesn't make me feel better to namechange. It means that no one knows who I am and once again I am shrouded by his invisibility blanket. He fucking wins.

It's funny.....the dc's and I were talking, as one does, about what would be best, to be able to fly, or to be invisible.

Being invisible means that no one can hear you or see you. We all decided quite quickly that flying is the much preferred option.

You see, if I name changed, TRM wouldn't know this was me. And it's good to hear from you. I know that you know what this is like.

Had the police out this morning because of all of this. He was SO horrible to me. I stood my own, but lost my temper.

The story in the news from Buxton has scared me to death.