Online Betting - how can I find out more?

[Enchilada81]

DH has proven to me over and over again that he cannot be trusted and is a compulsive liar. So yes, I do check his emails and open his letters etc. I won't apologise for that as he's proven he is not to be trusted.

Anyway this morning he accidently left his PC profile logged in before going to work so I grabbed the opportunity and had a quick look at his emails.

Seems he joined up to an online betting site in January. I know that his "hidden gambling" is a big reason his ex wife left him. He has swore to me that all that is behind him now and the only gambling he does is the lottery now and again.

So why would he have joined an online betting place? Is there any way I can find out more info on his membership without directly asking him? (if I ask him, he'll just deny it and quickly get rid of any evidence).

[GypsyMoth]

heck bank and credit card statements?

[ChocHobNob]

Can you log into the betting site? Does it have a record of any transactions?

[GypsyMoth]

you'll need his username and password

this in my opinion,is very,very addictive gambling....but you can place limits on your account. but these are easy to adjust,so dont believe his excuses,if you confront him

i would be very cautious about this

[countingto10]

You can try this to stop future activity.

I would have it out with him and refuse to back down. He could have a secret credit card to use on the site as well.

[Enchilada81]

I'm annoyed at myself because I had his username this morning and I was in a rush and forgot to write it down. If I'd had more time I would have kept a note of it, maybe googled it (it was completely different to anything he'd used before) or just looked out for it on things.

I don't know his password, I don't know his password for ANYTHING as he keeps them all completely secret.

Only way would be to look at his bank statements but I've noticed he's opted for paperless billing now.

I'm so frustrated and annoyed. Last night we talked through stuff and I was just coming around to giving him another go and then I find this. I'm going to look in his wallet for a gambling card. I remember his telling me she found one that belonged to him and that's how she found out what he was upto.

[GypsyMoth]

theres no trail then...what about internet history? or does it happen at work??

[Enchilada81]

That was the wierd thing. I searched his internet history and there is no record of him ever visiting this site, just an email thanking him for registering. Perhaps he registered in Jan and just forgot about it?

[DONTtouchMUMSspecialJUICE]

he can opt not to receive a card or mailing from them. so looking for card might be pointless.

[GypsyMoth]

is he using his phone then? or another computer? maybe xbox (not sure if possible)

[AttilaTheMeerkat]

enchilada,

I would very much doubt he has forgotten about registering on such a site.

If he has a problem with gambing he should not even be playing the lottery.

Why are you with him at all, what are you getting out of this relationship?.

Given that his first wife left him because of gambling it is highly likely that you'll end up leaving as well for very much the same reasons. These men prioritise their addiction over anything and anyone else. You though are also playing a role here; you are enabling him.

[nubbins]

some betting sites have forums, if you can guess or find out what his screen name is, you could set yourself up an account and see if he is posting on the forum and what he is saying. Might give you more information.

But to be honest, i am not sure what more information will give you. You don't trust him at all anyway, so what do you have to gain? It will be impossible to prevent him from gambling if he doesn't want to stop.

[GypsyMoth]

have you found out anymore,op?

[ChocHobNob]

There are lots of red flags in your post Enchilada, sorry

My husband is/was a gambling addict. I found out when I went to the bank and there was no money in there. He did it online ... he changed our statements with the bank to paperless ... he was secretive with passwords ... he deleted the history on the computer to hide the sites he visited.

(He attended a addiction support group and hasn't gambled now for over 2 years. The temptation is still there. He tells me about it. But I have had to take complete control of our finances)

I really hope it isn't the case with your partner but I would be looking into it further. x

[Enchilada81]

I've not found out anything else yet. One thing I have picked up on is that he HATES me going out alone if it's not planned.
Anytime I want to pop to shop on an evening, he insists on coming too (although if I said I was walking, he wouldn't bother) so I'm starting to think maybe he's hinding something in the car?
Last night I tested the water, got my coat on and said "just popping to tesco" (obvious car ride away). He looked slightly panicked and said "oh! I've just remembered, I need to go to bank so I'll come with you". I talked him out of it, he wasn't happy but I went anyway on my own. In tesco car park I had a rummage around in the car - reciepts in the glove box for chocolates (just bags of eclairs, nothing expensive or suspicious), multibuy crisps (buy one bag of senstations and get 2 free) etc and there were 5 little bags of reeces pieces in the there. Ok so he is spending some on food but NOT £90 a week, no way. I had a little rummage in the boot but it's such a tip, I couldn't find anthing, even stuff I KNEW was in there!

But yeah, all the signs look crap.

Paperless statements
Secretive passwords
Secretive with Phone
Secretive with his PC account
Doesn't much use the PC in front of me ...