Need to find some support for my friend

[BertieBotts]

My friend has told me that she wants to leave her DP. I am fully supportive of her decision and TBH had seen it coming - he is controlling, I can think of many examples of this, he does not like it when she goes out with her friends without him and rings her every 2 hours or so. He controls the money in the household (neither of them work) and she has to justify every penny she wants to spend, whether it is something for their son or something she needs like a properly fitting bra.

He has also been into drugs in the past and when she was pregnant although he said he would stop, he was doing cocaine. Since then he promised that he would stop, when she threatened to leave, but he has become more and more depressed since this time. I don't know whether this is because of the drugs or because of the baby. He has given up his job and more recently has been on ADs, he has been drinking while on these too - the other night my friend was telling me, he crushed up 6 diazepam tablets and snorted them, then passed out.

Then lastly he has been very argumentative and she feels he has always been too rough with their son. Nothing that would be considered illegal/abusive etc but things like when he was very small and fussing about taking his bottle I saw him say "RIGHT YOU" angrily, hold the baby's head still with one hand and force the bottle into his mouth with the other until he gave up and drank it The baby is now 15 months old and he is saying things like "If you pinch me I will pinch you back" - my friend has tried to explain to him that he doesn't understand but he won't listen.

I am concerned for my friend because she has very little in terms of support. She was brought up by her grandparents, her grandmother has passed away and her grandfather kicked her out at the age of 15. She was fostered for a while by a woman who was an alcoholic (not sure what this was all about TBH) and ended up leaving this house to move in with her DP at 17. She is now 19 but not that mature for her age - she is a good mum, but I am not sure how well she would cope on her own. I don't know how much her DP does around the house or to help with the baby. She also struggles with asking for help etc. I think she has only confided in me because she knows that I left my XP, but she hasn't so far asked for my help.

I am looking really to gather up information on different support services she may be able to access. I am probably limited in the amount of support I can give personally - obviously I will be there for emotional support, and she would be welcome to stay with me short term but long term it wouldn't work as I have only got a small 2-bed rented house (I have one DS as well and am a single parent)

[kyotokate]

Bump... get her to phone Women's Aid

[Fluffyone]

I think you may need to be a bit blunt with her. One angry move by this nasty man and her baby could be seriously injured or worse.

[iamreallysilly]

If your Health Visitor is any good (nice & understanding and won't go barging in) then might be a good option to discuss with, she will be up to date wi any other poss sources of help, or should be. It can be difficult to feel u are the only poss source of support to someone.