Just another woman who's partner is leaving...

[lis496]

I am so sad and upset. My partner told me (on Valentine's evening, after saying no thanks to a reservation I had made for the two of us at a very nice restaurant) that our relationship is over. He doesn't want counselling. He doesn't want to talk. He has already apparently found a new place to live. I am now trying to find somewhere to live for our daughter and myself.

I feel like I have been run over by a car. I feel sick. I don't know what to do. The worst thing is - I asked if he had found someone else and he said no - it is just that he can't stand being with me anymore. I know I am not perfect. And I have certainly been guilty of being angry and mean, inattentive and generally a pain. But he hasn't exactly been perfect himself, and I feel he owes it to us, or if not to us then at least to our daughter, to give counselling a go.

All the energy has been drained out of me and I can hardly get myself out of bed in the mornings. But I can't just say I've had enough and leave - I have to take care of our daughter and get her to nursery and feed her and play with her, oh, and hold down a full-time job.

Right now, I hate everything.

[Nancy66]

Oh, I'm sorry to hear this honey.

do you have family around you that can lend some support?

Can you request some compassionate leave from work?

It does sound as if he's decided the relationship can't be salvaged - in which case i would not push him on the counselling issue right now. Let him go off into his cave and mope for a while.

Can't you just stay in the home you're in now if he's moving out?

[sadperson123]

You poor poor thing -

He owes you an explanation, will he come over and talk to you ? he owes it to you and your DD.

It does sound similar to what my H said to me, and it eneded up he had met someone else. I'm not saying for one minute that you DP has, but you do need to try and sit down and talk.

I am so sorry.

[WhenwillIfeelnormal]

So sorry you're going through this. What happened after he backed out of the evening out? Did he go elsewhere?

[Mumcentreplus]

So so sorry

[ChasingSquirrels]

So sorry to read this.
It takes me back almost exactly 2 years to the same place as you are in now.

I understand what others are saying about him owing you an explanation, but he really may not have one, and even if he does it may not be something you will accept.

You have to find, somewhere, the strength to get through each day, through each hour if need be.

Maybe you will work it out, and maybe you won't. But what you WILL do is get through this horrible horrible place that you are now in.

Can you focus on practicalities? You need to agree on how you move forward from here. Have you had any professional advice - at the very least I would see a solicitor for a free half hour consultation.

Put together a summary of all the financials involved, assets, liabilities, incomes etc. The solicitor should be able to give you an idea of what you can expect.

Look online and see what benefits/tax credits you are entitled to.

And be kind to yourself, let people know so that they can help you, let yourself have little treats, love your daughter.

{{{{{HUG}}}}}