This is more or less exactly what I didn't want to happen.

[biscuittplease]

So, a couple of years ago I was in a group of friends - 4 of us, had been friends since school. Topic of our discussions was invariably 'the one who wasn't there' or people we knew at school and what they were up to and general slagging off of said individual. Usual bitchy girly thing?

Anyway, I moved away, met a man who later became my husband and stopped wanting to see my 'friends' all culminating in a big blow up over a hen night when i was 14 weeks pregnant, feeling lumpy and hormonal I didn't attend (longer story but no real point).

Anyway, I've since moved back to the area and through toddler groups met friends of friends, one got back in contact by text (spoken over phone, but no meeting), am now in contact with another (small town, there's no hiding), have spoken to her today and she has asked me to meet her for a drink next week.

The thing is, I'm all fat and lumpy now since having my babies (youngest 14 weeks) and image is everything to this group and this is sort of why I gave up on the friendship last time and I don't really have the time or inclination to go out socialising at the moment but feel that if I don't I look like the initial falling out was all my fault. Another thing is that this is such a small town, you can't really fall out with people, you will always bump into someone (e.g. the reason the second friend got in contact was that I bumped into her mum in a shop and she said that she would tell her to give me a call).

Don't really know what to do? Don't want them to see the frumpy version of myself, but unless I manage to drop two dress sizes in the next weeks I'm buggered.

Am I being silly?

[lighthouse]

Chick, these people should value for who you are not what you wear. I would be honest and say you are not really interested. Your life and your choice.

[biscuittplease]

Thanks lighthouse, this is what I thought it's just that it's easier said than done...

[cathcat]

have you considered that they will have changed too? They might wish they could drop 3 or 4 dress sizes! People change physically and emotionally and I think you should give them a chance

[LoveBeingAMummy]

Go and see how you feel afterwards, they wouldn't be bothering if they didn't want too If after that they are so shallow that they don't call you again so what, if you decide not to call them again so what. You don't have to meet up with people you don'#t want to see.

[biscuittplease]

I think I'm going to have to give it a shot and see how things go.

It's just that I don't want to.



Life is easier without having to consider my apperance at the moment - most days I'm covered in baby sick on both shoulders and keeping us all clean and ok is about all I can fathom!!!

[junglist1]

You might enjoy it, you always end up enjoying the things you didn't want to do. Also you might find they've grown up a bit.

[ScaredOfCows]

Hopefully, they will have changed too and won't be so shallow now, but I think I would feel the same way as you, to be honest.

Would be Special K diet for a fortnight and hold it all in underwear for me .

[biscuittplease]

Tell me about it - have spent last hour looking for pre pregnancy magic knickers - 'tis going to be a tight squeeze...

[fluffles]

if i were you i'd be friendly and polite but as frumpy and mumsy as possible and hope they didn't want to socialise too much with the 'new me'

but then i have no time for people like that - but also no inclination towards confrontation.