I've refused to get a cleaner in the past just because I don't want dh to do absolutely nothing but am I cutting my nose off to spite my face?

[MissGoodNight]

this might sound a bit odd but dh comes from a family where nobody lifts a finger. They aren't particularly well off but all their friends are extremely well off and have staff and they like to keep up with the Joneses....

so when we go round there, if the children spill food on the floor it's all 'oh leave it, the cleaner will do it on Monday' and whenever dh makes a move to do anything (rarely), it's all 'oh darling, we weren't made for that, that's why we have a cleaner!'

I vowed that dh wouldn't pass this attitude down to the children and for a while we didn't have enough money for a cleaner anyway. Dh often tries to make an effort but has this inbuilt inability to tidy up his own mess. For example, he came in from playing sport and left a huge trail of mud throughout the house. It's almost like he doesn't notice. I have forced him to make an effort but it is an effort on my part too to make him do anything iyswim.

Now compared to his family, he does do a lot but not necessarily compared to most blokes.

I've always refused to get a cleaner because I think it will make him lazier. I think he makes a tiny bit of effort now only because no-one else will do it and eventually he does clear up iyswim.

Now we have a tiny bit more money and could afford a cleaner, should I get one? It would make my life easier but ultimately, it will mean he will go back to his lazy ways.

[Amazoniancracker]

for gods sake get a cleaner. it is no big deal. do it for YOU. [fsmil]

[Amazoniancracker]

oops ds is buggering about with the pc

[MissGoodNight]

lol I know I should really shouldn't I

[Amazoniancracker]

Yes. they get things clean. They give you more time. They relieve boredom. They are great value for money. Get one and don't give his lazy family a second thought.

[angel1976]

Get a cleaner and make your DH pay for it. We spent years arguing about DH's lazy ways and now we can afford it, we have a cleaner and it's a godsend. I don't care if it means DH practically does nothing but play with the kids and cook the odd meal there and then, as long as he works hard and gets paid enough to pay someone else to do the chores, why not? It's cut our arguments by about 80% since we got one and weekends are great as they are strictly for enjoying!

[whomovedmychocolate]

I too fought it for years. Have one now, and a nanny and I fecking love it - my house is clean, I'm not (so) knackered and grumpy and it shames DH into doing things on the days the cleaner doesn't come!

[wonderingwondering]

A cleaner will give a good general clean (and I think you should have one if you can afford it) but actual dirt and mess, like mud through the house, should be cleared up straight away. It's just rude to expect other people to clear that sort of thing up, or for the rest of the household to have to live with it until the cleaner comes!