Failure of morning after pill

[mapster]

I'd be really grateful for any opinions/experiences of this situation.

A male friend of mine is expecting a baby in a few months with his on/off girlfriend. They've known each other about a year, and it has been a bit of an up and down relationship with him generally keener than her.

The pregnancy was an accident (she had been on the pill, then they had a break and when they first got back together they just got carried away and didn't discuss contraception), and she said that she took the morning after pill the next day which didn't work. There was a brief discussion about a termination, but she decided to carry on with it and he has supported her.

She has a 5 year old DS from a previous marriage. They have recently talked about trying to make a proper go of their relationship, moving in together before the birth etc. However she suddenly seems to be pulling back a lot, more or less ending the romantic side of things with him, and talking instead about just co-parenting but not giving any clear reasons why.

My friend is pretty hurt by this, and has asked me if he thinks she used him just to get pregnant as she is almost 40 and had said to him previously that she wanted a sibling for her son before it is too late. He asked me how likely it was that a woman would do this (find a suitable candidate to get pregnant by with no real intention of settling down with them), so I thought of getting a few different, honest views from MN.

[skihorse]

100% feasible - and personally if she'd already admitted such intentions I doubt very much she got a MAP. Does he know she was previously on the pill, i.e., did he see her swallow it on a daily basis?

Friend of mine is married to a man who is paying child maintenance for another 4 years still due to a naive mistake when he was younger and was used as a sperm donor. Tbh I feel he was old enough to take care of his own contraception needs... but yes, there are plenty of these women out there.

[belgo]

Yes that does happen, but it's also very possible that the MAP failed.

[Blu]

There is at least one MAP-failure baby on MN, and I daresay there are woman who let 'happy accidents' happen and either know their minds and intentions from the start, or start out with one intention / feeling and then realise it isn't what they want, or manage to keep themselves in denial.

[SolidGoldpiginablanket]

Not impossible. But it's also possible that your friend isn't quite the catch he thinks he is, and she may have perfectly good valid reasons for not actually wanting to move in with or marry him.