What now? Help.

[Butbutbut]

Long story short:
He had a GF, I took no notice and we had a fling. I wanted more, he wasn't offering it.

Now he is single and offering, and wanting,

I'm single too, but have a relationship with my ex which means we really do love each other, spend time together, have sex, and everything but be labelled gf/bf, or DP's. partners or the like.
I love him, I do, He's a trusted great guy with DD. I can lie on the bed, watch TV and be coimfortable!,
But, X is X. He's X.

X is untested, but he's X.

I shouldn't, but I do, I adore him, he excites me, he makes my tummy flip.
I've spent time with him, not for a while, but I have and he's a real tummy flipper.

He excites me, I'd be with him, he's unsafe, but I crave him.

Heeelllp.

[lou33]

why is your ex an ex if you get on so well?

can you sit down and compare the two and work out which one you are drawn to more?

[Butbutbut]

Because I won't commit and practical things get in the way too.

Compare the two?

Yes, one is good for me, loves me and DD, and I love him too, the other is X.
He's just X.
I've wanted this and him for four years, he's just X.
I'd have trampled his ex for him, but I didn't need to, I just needed to wait, but now I can, and I don't know what to do.

I'm scared. He cheated for me, he can cheat on me right?
But he's all I've ever wanted.

[Butbutbut]

Oh I love him, I do.

He makes me feel like no one else ever has.

Four years, four years this has been going on, and now I have the chance to be with him, and I'm scared to be.

I'm not keen on the fact he cheated, even if he did cheat to be with me.

Its not right really is it? If he can cheat, he can cheat.

But he's X, I want to be with him

[TLESinChristmasStockings]

He is exciting because you couldn't have him fully, because he is this guy who you for four years have had this fantasy of, the fantasy of him just being there but not....it can be pretty damn exciting!!

The reality is he is a cheater he did it for you and will do it to unless you are prepared to be one of 2 or 3 or more women I would steer clear.

Its not just about you though is it? There are these 2 men to think about and of course and most importantly your DD....wheres this going to leave her?

I don't understand this...

I'm single too, but have a relationship with my ex which means we really do love each other, spend time together, have sex, and everything but be labelled gf/bf, or DP's. partners or the like.
I love him, I do, He's a trusted great guy with DD. I can lie on the bed, watch TV and be coimfortable!,

This sounds like a "proper" adult relationship on most counts....yet you are giving the feeling (to me) of being needy....is it excitment you are looking for? its not always what its cut out to be you know! sometimes Comfortable is a million times better.

You see I can say this because I am in a not too disimilar situation myself atm...

Y is just like X, makes me flutter inside and all the rest...is he good for me? No, is he going to take on my DS's probably not....but that excitement is there and god do i want it!!! But Thanks to reading this thread I have just put it all in perspective, I do want excitement but within my current relationship not from an outside source.....

Just commit to comfortable and introduce excitement between you both....Good Luck....cos I know I am going to need it myself.

[Butbutbut]

What if he cheated on me?

What if I was like his ex.

Not me, as he said, but that's rubbish right?

I need to put him to bed don't I?

But I've waited 4 years for him. How can I?

[TLESinChristmasStockings]

And I love Y,boy do I love him my heart has yearned for him for 8 years.....or maybe it was yearning for a change something i can find within myself..

[TLESinChristmasStockings]

BUT...Commit to Mr Comfortable who is good with DD, he loves you and her and vice versa....just answer one thing is X the kind of person you want dd to grow up around??

[BitOfFun]

Shit or get off the pot. It all sounds a bit teenage to me.

[TLESinChristmasStockings]

BoF...I kinda get how she feels....DP and I have been going through a rough patch and then i saw my ex and he said all the right things without saying anything iyswim?? and I momentarily was tempted

[BitOfFun]

Let me get this straight: one guy is shagging you but won't allow you to consider yourself in a relationship, and you can't trust the other one because you know he cheats.

Why on earth would you be with either of them?

[lou33]

you sound like you are in a relation with your ex, aside from putting a label on it, what is it you wont commit to?

which one would you miss more if you had to cut ties with one

which one would be right for your dd as well as who would make you happier

i would be wary of getting involved with someone who was known to have cheated, but there are clearly still feeling on both sides, and i guess there are people who dont go on and do it in every relationship

what is lacking from your ex that you think the other one can offer you?

[TLESinChristmasStockings]

BoF If i understood right the one who she is sleeping with is an ex who she loves and all the rest that goes with a relationship BUT without calling themselves BF/GF, he loves the dd and OP and is trust worthy.

The other guy is someone who is a cheat and she had a fling with and he wouldn't leave his now ex.

Personally I think the excitement of him having been unavailable has stuck with the OP and she has built him up into some kind of god...

I may be wrong!