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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

Is this icky.....or is it just me?

22 replies

idontliketoshare · 03/12/2009 15:14

After 12 months of being LP, I have just starteddating a man I have known as a casual friend for about 25 years. We have been out several times over the past two months, and it is getting to the stsge where I am considering sleeping with him.

However, I have just found out that when we were younger, he dated my very best friend for a few months and they had quite an intense sexual relationship. I had no idea as I was abroad at the time. She has never mentioned it. No one knows we are seeing each other at the moment, as I disn't want people making a big deal about it until I was sure how I felt. It is my first relationship post-divorce.

Thing is, I am now feeling a bit weird about starting a sexual relationship with him, as I keep imagining him and my best friend in bed together, and imagine that she will be thinking about it too when she hears! It feels a bit icky (that's the only way I can explain it).

I am a bit upset about it, as I really like him, we get on fantastically, he is lovely, and so sexy. I haven't felt this happy and attractive in years.

Am I being too sensitive? What would you do?

OP posts:

Report

dejavuaswell · 03/12/2009 15:22

Don't think twice - go for it!

mrsboogiefairylights · 03/12/2009 20:24

Don't be daft! it's not as if it was your sister or mum or anything...

Besom · 03/12/2009 20:32

I don't think you should let this bother you at all. It was a long time ago.

A lot of my female friends have sexual partners in common with each other. It's just what happens with groups of friends. (I think, unless there's something odd about my friends which could well be the case).

oldwomanwholivedinashoe · 03/12/2009 20:34

You're being silly - go for it. The past is the past.

CMOTdibbler · 03/12/2009 20:36

Go for it - my now DH was my best friends boyfriend for 3 years (she dumped him and a year later he and I got together in a drunken haze).

tiredoftherain · 03/12/2009 22:03

Oh go for it, I dated my best friend's DH for a few weeks well before they declared interest in each other. I've done my best to block any memories of that time, it was years ago now, and was mercifully brief. My friend does bring it up now and again, and her DH and I both squirm! Fortunately we can laugh about it!

idontliketoshare · 04/12/2009 11:20

I think you are right, it is silly to get hung up on something that happened years ago. I really, really like this guy.

I think I am nervous. I haven't slept with anyone except ex-H for 17 years, and I haven't had sex at all for over 3 years. No man has seen me naked since I had my three kids. Argh, actually, I am terrified!

Ex-H has DCs this weekend, new man and I are going out tomorrow night, he is driving and is going to pick me up and drop me off at home. I think we both know this could be it!

Help and encouragement please!

OP posts:

mumblechum · 04/12/2009 11:42

Go for it. My dh went out with several of my girlfriends before I divorced my then dh and got together with current dh.

We lived in a very small town with a very small pool of available people.

Numberfour · 04/12/2009 13:24

oooh!! so exciting!
go for it and have fun!

confuseddoiordonti · 04/12/2009 13:37

keep us posted too!

Maleeka · 04/12/2009 14:05

Jump his bones woman!!

nickschick · 04/12/2009 14:07

Just go for it .......

Besom · 04/12/2009 15:43

Get you sexy knickers on!

2rebecca · 04/12/2009 15:45

Agree go for it.

idontliketoshare · 04/12/2009 22:29

OK, have got whole day to myself to prepare. Going for manicure and pedicure and massage and then bath and do all the prep. Have got new lingerie and a new dress, just hope he isn't disappointed when he gets under the wrapping!

Don't think I look too bad for my age, as am regular at gym, but not much I can do about my post-baby tummy and stretchmarks!

Hope I haven't forgotten what to do! I am excited and terrified at the same time. Haven't felt like this for about 20 years.

OP posts:

PurpleOne · 05/12/2009 03:13

make sure you definitely dont have your trainer tummy pants on that's for sure!

just get in the car and snog, then let hm drive t his house...then eat, drink/smoke/dvd whatever

put lots of palmers cream on your belly and get LOTS of sleep. Then time for shower, clean knickers, nails, toes..then a face mask etc and the womanly stuff that follows

Just go with it woman...please! And keep us posted
Have fun

Numberfour · 05/12/2009 14:03

and????????????

idontliketoshare · 07/12/2009 12:22

OMG! How could I have forgotten how fantastic sex can be? Why has it taken me so long!

NM and I had the most amazing night on Saturday, he was so sweet and lovely that I didn't feel at all nervous when it came to it, it was just wonderful.

He stayed all night and then rang me last night and we talked for an hour, and made another date for Wednesday evening.

I am on cloud 9. Just wondering how I dropped so lucky!

OP posts:

thelunar66 · 07/12/2009 12:41

Well done!!! I feel quite jealous

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 07/12/2009 12:43

Oh that is so lovely! Well done

crankytwanky · 07/12/2009 14:43

Aawww! Excellent!

My DH went out with my ex sil when they were younger. (I moved to the area as an adult.)
When we first started dating he said "Why is there a picture of _ with your daughter?"
Cue much embarasment.
She was a bit funny at first, but has conceded he is a lovely bloke.

jools37 · 07/12/2009 21:36

Nice to hear someone with a happy story to tell for a change. Makes me think there might be light at the end of the tunnel eventually.

Good for you, girl!

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