Feeling sad

[lisalisa]

I am just posting to get this down on paper so to speak. Used to post a lot on Mn about this but of late don't anymore. Doens't really seem any point.

I don't have a good relationship with dh. We nearly split up last year but at last minute decided to have another go. I do love him somwhere deep down I think but a part of me acknowledges that I am staying with him for the kids only.

I have 5 kids and have just seen anotehr close family to us go through divorice. The kids are really suffering even though these are 2 of the most civil parrents in the world who never argue in forn t of th ekids.

We fought a few days agao and as in teh same patern it just continues to get worse. Today he hurled insults at me such as I have no friends, am sad, am disgusting etc.

Earlier he had pulled open a drawer to reach a spoon when I was stnading ther with no thought that the drawer would hit me. It did althojgh not hard so I slammed his hand in the drawer. Didn't intend it to be hard - just a sort of slam back but it cut him and hurt him. I felt bad about that but also felt that the physical scar of being hurt is not so much wosrses thatn the mental scar of someone not even acknolwedging your presence in their way and bothering to say excuse me or even "move" before they open the drawer on you.

Just fed up .

Won't divorce because Im not strong enough.

You dont even need to reply.

Just felt like reaching out.

No-one to talk to in real life as they're all mutual friends and last time when we nearly got divorced I eventually confided in 2 mutual friends after suffering for 5 months ( when we didn't speak to eachtheorh at all) in silecen and never heard the end of it all

[FabHasHadHerSurprise]

I wish I could give you a hug.

What do you really want?

If you know this is over then see a solicitor, talk over your options and see how you feel.

How would you feel if someone said you must stay married? Would you feel really sad.

What about if someone could just grant you an instant divorce? Would you feel happy and relieved?

I feel all over the place atm but know that things are pretty good most of the time. It doesn't seem that you have any good times.

Don't settle for rubbish. You would be so much stronger after you divorced. You are only feeling weak because of the situation you are in.

[MrsMalcolmTucker]

Really sorry you are having such a hard time. We're having a sticky patch ourselves, and it's just horrible, especially if you don't feel you can talk to anyone in rl about it.

Agree with Fab that you need to sort out in your own head what you want. For me, I really didn't want a divorce, and neither did dh, so we're working really hard at the moment. Feels odd, but we're praying we get back to what we used to have a few years ago.

[FabHasHadHerSurprise]

Both DH and I have both felt like our relationship was over and the thought of divorce was the kick up the bum we needed. Your situation doesn't seem like that so I think you need to think about what is going to be best for you. You can't always put the kids first if it is to the detriment of your well being.