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just wondered?

No never. WHy would you want to if they were your ex?

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well, actually, bride or groom...

is it ok for anyone else in the room you say your vows; i will, i do... to have, well, you know, have been there 'before'

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It depends on the ex (and the not-ex). If you and your df are on good enough terms that you both want your ex to be there, good for you. It would be rare, I think. My dh and I are on very cordial terms with his ex - more so now than when we got married 7 years ago but even now I don't think we would invite her if we were only getting married now, other things being equal.

If you and your df really want your ex there, go ahead and don't worry what anyone else thinks. If either of your is at all unsure, don't do it. Not doing it would be far more usual than doing it.

not in the married sense,

ok...

is it ok for anyone in the room to have fucked loved you or your soon to be husband?

genuinely interested in your views.

I think it would be a tad strange to make promises for ever in front of someone you had made thoses same promises to before, regardless of how well you now got on with them, as of course you got on with them when you made thoses promises but something went wrong soemwhere or you wouldn't have broken them.

I was incredibly good friends with my ex when I remarried but I appreciated by new husbands - to - be wishes when we got married. I didnt need to share such a special day with my ex. Not personally He simply didnt need to be involved in the day.

we had guests at our wedding that we had shagged. didn't even come up as an issue between us.

In fact, never thought about it til now.

history,

me and my ex have a dd, we had planned a weddding, it never happened, he is, to all intent still a 'friend' as he is dds dad and we talk often BUT he is not invited to my wedding day...

dp has an ex, they where not meant to be together and i am ok about that, they are still 'friends' and chat on line and at times on the phone, and i am more than ok about it, i accept times change...

so, situation is...

he wants to invite his 'friend' to our wedding, as a friend but i dont want to invite dds dad to our wedding,

i feel, that all be it she is no more than a friend, i want our day to be about only us, no history involved, no matter how that history turned out, new beginnings and all...

opinions welcomed

If it isn't an issue - as in fanjolina's case, then no problem.

BUT, there clearly IS an issue here with you/DH2B.

So in that case, best avoided if at all possible.

Pretty simple, really.

Well the girl that I shared a house with at college, had past lovers, her husband and her current lover on her table at her wedding.

I had 3 old boyfriends at my wedding! all college boyfriends - not sure my husband (now ex) knew about them all though

see thats the thing, he has been honest about it,

otherwise i would be non the wiser about his brief relationship with his 'friend'

i am worried i am being a prude about it,

after all i have a dd who will be a bridesmaid,

i know he loves me more than anything and i know he feels the same about my dd,

if he had not said i would not have known,

am i being a bridezilla?

So because you dont want to invite your ex he is not allowed to invite his, who is still a friend?

If he wants to invite her let him, i dont see the problem

Who was not her husband.

no and never. ex is ex

i dont have a problem with 'exs'

i can not get my head around the possibility that someone sitting in the congrigation at our wedding have fucked had him before,

the very thought that he shared himself i struggle with

Are you young?

I think he should invite his ex if he WANTS to.

you not wanting to invite your ex is irrelevant.

"the very thought he shared himself I struggle with"

Well most people have "shared themselves" with several others. Why would you even think about that aspect of a guest on your wedding day?

er, no

just dont want to think about his exs on our wedding day,

why do i have to be young to think that?

Then I would question whether you want to marry him.

'i can not get my head around the possibility that someone sitting in the congrigation at our wedding have fucked had him before,'

you sound immature

jasper, i know, that is why i am asking,

i am struggling with it,

i have had many serious relationships in my life, some i loved others i thought i did, some i didnt,

truth be known, i can not bear the thought, on that very day, our wedding day, that anyone who he or i had 'shagged' 'loved' or 'fucked' before sat there and watched us say our vows,

i have no problem with them being 'friends' before or after,