I have posted here several times about ExP, who has had massive problems with jealousy, insecurity and has been emotionally abusive. This has involved my mum and sister and also my DC.
Finally, as a result of his behaviour, we parted (I thought for good) and haven't seen one another for 2 months.
ExP has never admitted to being an abuser, until now. He hasn't been violent or done anything criminal but has prevented me living a normal life ie: working or having much contact outside of our relationship and I have allowed this to happen.
We have parted twice before and got back together without ever really resolving the situation with any proper outside help.
This time, he has (I believe) reached rock bottom and realised his behaviour was abusive and he has been talking to a private counsellor who is helping him come to terms with why he is the way he is. He has vowed to turn his life around.
I haven't made him any promises unless I see a definite change in him. I will carry on with my life, looking for a job and doing all the things with the DC's he wasn't happy with before.
He lives 30 minutes away, so it's possible for us to see one another and take things at my pace.
My real problem is my family (mum and sister) who have refused to have anything to do with me if I am in contact with him. ExP has asked to talk to them face to face to try and reslove the situation at least, so I am not torn between them. He is fully aware they will rip him to pieces but is willing to try but they absolutely refuse, saying it is pointless.
So, where do I go from here? I don't believe I would ever turn my back on loved ones, whether I agreed with their relationships or not. My sister and I had planned a Christmas trip with the DC's (which I would still like to do) but she says she doesn't want to do it with me now. I feel controlled all over again! How best to deal with this?
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Family Loyalties Advice Needed Please
Flashfried · 19/11/2009 13:55
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