Mumsnet Talk

I feel like such a twonk.

I hav eposted about this before but I wanted top present a different perspective.

Ten years ago I met this wonderful man. I loved him from the word go but I was in a relationship with a very abusive man and he was also in a relationship.

I broke up with very abusive man and had to ditch my career and almost died from an eating disorder etc. I think I had a nervous breakdown.

A year later my loved one came back to town and he was also single. I had the opportunity to get with him as I was terrified. The love I felt was sooo great that I didn't want to get hurt so I pushed him away. He was sooo nice to me and I can't believe I didn't get with him.

Ten years on he's back in town and I still feel the same for him but now he has a gf.

What a prize twit I was not to get with him. I am kicking myself and very sad tbh.

Everyone thinks he likes me as he bluches an dwaves etc but it's too late. I am trying to move on but still.

I gues sthe moral of the story is - if you really love someone don't be a twonk like me and let them go. If you have been hurt take that risk again if you can.

Sorry- I meant to say I had the opportunity to get with him BUT I was terrified.

I had also recently been hurt by sleeping with a few men who didn't mean much to me but then dumped me.

I guess I thought that if he did the same then the pain would be too great.

So i'm the only total twonk round here when it comes to love then?

If you were the only twonk, this would be a very very small talkboard. Forgive yourself for the mistake, but remember the might-have-been is always appealing because imagination can be perfect in a way that real life never is.

Just a wee word of warning: if "everyone thinks he likes you", but he's got a girlfriend, either this is a no-go situation or he is not nearly as nice as you thought he was.

Wise words Annie.....

Well I fell in love with him the first time when I was in a long -term relationship and so was he so I guess I'm not a very nice person either! I loved my boyfriend but was smitten with this guy. I was torn.
The difference is, he would never do anything about it.
When he made a play for me before we had just split up with our partners. I am a dickhead seriously.

No, sounds very stupid. Better to have loved and lost etc.

It is very stupid - you are right and I really don't know what possessed me. I had a period of about three to four years when I was making the most ridiculous decisions ever.

The only explanation I can come with is that I loved the absuive twat so much but he wrecked my head and I no longer truusted my judgement. I won't be making that mistake again.