I know there are many many people on this site with much more serious problems, but this is gnawing at me so if anyone could spare a minute, I would be super grateful!
Have been seeing boyfriend for three months now. All is good, we spend weekends together when we don't have our children (he has 3 under 10, I have one 8 yo ds). Try to see one another in the week, which doesn't always work out as we both have demanding jobs. Have met his family, mother, sister, BIL, nephews etc - have only met his youngest girl while the other two were at a party. We have spoken about the future, have told one another we love one another - he said it first. Sex great, yada yada.
I am trying to keep this brief. When we met he told me he had separated from his partner at beginning of year. It has emerged she actually left in April. He thought things weren't working because of his work (own business, long hours, all consuming) and I think for a while that he hoped they could sort things out, but it emerged in the same week we met that she was having an affair. The split is now very acrimonious.
The more time goes on, I think he is on the rebound. He says he doesn't love her, he hates her (not healthy either, and we all know about the thin line right?). He is a great dad and misses his children desperately. He so looks forward to having them, then is very low when they go on Sunday evening.
I love this man and I don't want to lose him. On the other hand I don't want to help him over this just to be dumped on the other side when he is all perky again! He told me this morning that he has had two dreams over past 2 nights about ex and kids and having to separate from them. He also said this morning on the phone "I have nothing to look forward to". I think he is depressed and understand that completely BUT I must confess that part of me is thinking "so wtf am I - chopped liver?"
How on earth do I protect myself while stil supporting him? I can't walk away because I think I am the main person he talks to and I can't abandon him as well.
My best friend says I should "speculate to accumulate" and hang on in there, but can a relationship ever work where it starts in these circumstances? Truth be told, I am a bit angry with him for starting something, as I can only foresee catastrophe! I am amicably (these days!) divorced, but have encountered more than my fair share of tossers whilst dating over the past 3 years. I don't think he's a tosser but I am wary.
Thank you for reading!
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Relationships
So... how do you cope with a boyfriend who is on the rebound?
14 replies
Parsleypants · 28/10/2009 10:16
OP posts:
RealityBites ·
28/10/2009 17:04
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