DH is generally a kind, caring, easygoing, reasonable kinda guy. He has had a lot to deal with due to me trying to sort myself out after a lot of buried and forgotten memories of childhood abuse were triggered for me after having my DC's. We are through the worst of it now and have somehow managed to stay together despite the nightmare that has been our lives over the last few years.
So he is a decent man at heart. BUT he has some extremely old fashioned and chauvanistic views which really bother me. Eg. If I get a bit aggressive during an argument he thinks it's not feminine. I do have anger management issues due to my childhood but even so, i all i ever do is sometimes shout a bit at him and fight my corner. He seems to think women are always all sweetness and light and never get angry and if they do it's not feminine.
The other thing that he said that has really annoyed me is that i mentioned a while ago that i would love to have my own room in the house, a bit like his office. We don't have the space anyway so i know it would never happen, but i think he is so lucky to have a really lovely office at the top of our house where he can go and read, watch tv, work, in peace and quiet, away from the DC's. I'm a SAHM so don't need an office as such, but i would in an idea world, love to have my own little room, where i could read and just get away from everyone for a while, get some peace and quite to do what i want. And he thinks again, that is not feminine! As if for some reason women don't need time and space for themselves.
I know where he gets his views from, his parents are very traditional, dad does NOTHING around the house, mum does it all etc. But DH is, I thought intelligent enough to realise he and I are not living in the 1950's, that times have changed and moved on and whilst I am not a career woman, i am happy mostly to be a fulll time SAHM, nor am i a 50's style housewife.
Am I the only one to be married to a relic from the 1950's, who at the same time works in developing the latest IT solutions for a living?
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DH is a old fashioned male chauvanistic pig...but he is also kind, caring and a good father. How do I deal with this?
oneplusone · 22/09/2009 17:37
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