DH and I have been married 8 years, DS is 3. We always said we werent sure if we would have 1 or 2 children. After DS we went through a little while where we said 2 then changed our minds and said just 1.
Anyway I have really come to the certain place where I know I want one more child. I do not want another biological child, I want to adopt. I have many, many reasons for this that I guess arent particularly relevant to this thread? DH does not have a problem with adopting at all and understands my reasons and shares their sentiment but he only wants one child, full stop.
I dont know what to do. I am 30 and I am positive this is what I want to do. I feel too young in part to let the Father Christmas myths go, I want another child to love and take care of and worry about. There are so many reasons I could list them all but not sure how it would help here. The point is I am positive I want to adopt a child. We are attending our introduction evening to adopt within our county in October, he is happy to attend in case something changes how he feels but he thinks that is unlikely.
I just feel like I'm living on a knife's edge. What are we going to do if neither of us changes how we feel? It is such a huge thing isnt it. Of course I would never want to force him to have a child he wasnt thrilled about having, clearly that would be wrong. But it would be equally wrong to deprive me of a child I want to love and care for so much. I just dont know how to handle this.
DH and I are very much in love and very good friends. I wont lie I am scrambling around trying to think how can I make him feel the way I feel, not "how can I make myself feel the way he feels" which is hypocritical I know. All I can say is the urge to adopt this future child is as strong for me as the urge to conceive DS was, and we tried for him for 4 years. So it is a hard thing to temper down.
Thanks for your help
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Relationships
I know many of you have been there, I'm in the heartache of DH only wanting one DC and me desperate for one more, we are at an impasse
4 replies
longtermfamilyplanning · 13/09/2009 10:45
OP posts:
themildmanneredjanitor ·
13/09/2009 10:48
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