not sure what I want anymore

[mel1981]

me & Dh have been together 7yrs and have 3 DS's 5,2 & 11wks. I love my kids so much and wouldnt change them for the world but im so bored of my life.
Dh goes out not all the time but quite a bit and im stuck in with the kids, babysitters are hard to get hold of for us.
DH talking bout joining the gym- which I really want to do too but its not close to us & im annoyed cause he just says its not his fault I dont drive. as we cant get sitters I wont be able to go. either way as I dont drive I wouldnt be able to get there easily. I never go out cause we cant afford it(DH doesnt stop me at all) but he always manages to go out when we are skint -fishing, etc.
Me & DH dont have a great sex life high sex drive vs low sex drive but were working on it. Generally he doesnt turn me on the way he used to anymore despite us talking about it & I need to feel loved to want to have sex but I really dont feel loved at all. And he just wants it more. Weve argued so much about it.
I hate saying it but im not sure if I want to be with him most of the time. I love him but hes so selfish & ignorant.
I dont get much time to myself during the day. Ds3 doesnt go to sleep til gone 9 most nights so thats my evening gone too. Its so hard keeping on top of housework etc with 3 young kids- I dont know how others manage it!
I just feel like im stuck in a rut.... I dont have a great deal of friends as im quite shy & the ones I do live a couple of bus rides away or have kids and dont go out much too. My life is just so boring!!! Its really getting me down. Ive had PND before and this feels completely different.
Anyone else feels like this sometimes?

[DLI]

Hi, sounds a bit like my life sometimes! What about going to college one night a week - you may not have to pay for the course or get a bar job one or two nights a week (using more income as an excuse). you also get to socialise and meet new people as well.

[mel1981]

Thanks DLI -I was thinking bout maybe doing a course of some sort. Will take a look online in a bit for courses I could do but both are definately worth looking into.
I just feel at such a loss- like my life is going no where.

[PilgrimSoul]

Why don't you learn to drive? Being dependant on public transport with 3 little 'uns is going to severely hamper your life/social opportunities.

[mel1981]

IKWYM but I dont think im cut out for driving- I know that sounds lame but just trying to understand things when DH explains them confuses me. Im ditzy at the best of times lol. We have spoke about it before mainly cant afford 2 cars and DH needs it for work...But again would be worth considering more.

[babyball]

Perhaps you could take turns going to the gym and he could drive you when you go. Don't see how he can argue with that. You could put the little ones in the car for the trip!

[honie]

I could have written some parts of your OP so I cant advise there, however my one piece of advise is learn to drive. It will change your life and your outlook because it will give you freedom and independance(sp?).

The night school idea is excellant too, I did both of these things and turned how I feel about me, and how my future will be, around completely. PND is harsh harsh harsh. been there and won't be having more DC to make sure it doesn't happen again!! I hope you are ok. Baby steps, just change something small first - maybe book one driving lesson, or book one class at the gym, see how you go from there