Ok, don't normally talk about this sort of thing to anyone hence the name change but don't know what to do and no one in RL I want to know this much of my business!!
My DH and I have been together for 6 years, married for 2, we have two DC one is 2.10 the other 7mo. We are usually happy, nice life together but we have an ongoing issue with the amount of sex we have. If it was up to DH we would usually have it at least every other day but he gets that I don't feel the same way and usually doesn't make too much of an issue about it. I would be happy with once a week, I think about it quite a lot but by the time the kids are asleep and everything is done I just have lost all motivation, saying that I do try and make the effort at least 2-3 times a week! However its never as good as when its been a whole week and I actually feel like I really want it.
I know most of this stuff is what a lot of people in relationships got through with small children etc, however my biggest problem is that I often, in fact a lot of the time, just feel like I dont fancy my DH in that way. Dont get me wrong I love him to bits, we had a bit of a rough patch a couple of years ago but after 24hrs apart I realised how much I wanted to be with him and that hasn't changed. Its just he's quite negative and does some generally knobbish things which I really struggle to put to one side when we go to bed. I'm sure I annoy him at times too but he can definately just put all that aside and it doesn't come into it.
When we do get into a discussion about our sexlife, he says he thinks its just I cant be bothered and its him that always makes the effort and I always come up with some excuse but my really big reason is I just don't feel like I want sex with him that often. It sounds awful which is why I've never said it to is face, I know he would think I dont love him but I do. I just wish I fancied him more. What do I do?
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Ok try again...this time with a title! How do I sort my sexlife out when I dont really feel like it?
8 replies
NameChangedForAMinute · 04/08/2009 10:36
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