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Relationship breaker sex question!!!!!

(37 Posts)

By Sat 04-Jul-09 01:05:07 Add message | Report | Contact poster

This is only from my POV, so will take any critisim.

Today (amongst other issues) I told dp that amongst other things that I can seperate sex from feelings, ie, although I love him, when im not happy with him at some other things and we're not talking, I still want to have sex with him.

This was a revelaton to dp and he is so horrified and thinks this is such a disgusting attitude towards sex that he is on the verge of breaking up with me over this.

He has asked me to post honestly about this, so please give me your opinions about whether i am a brazen slut or not.

Add message | Report | Contact poster By Mon 06-Jul-09 16:50:41

I totally understand his viewpoint though OrmiIrian, it was just a massive shock to him that mine was so different.

Add message | Report | Contact poster By Mon 06-Jul-09 16:45:54

Neither of you can help how you feel. It's not fair to be upset with him for how he feels nor vice versa. As it happens I'm with your DP. I'd be more likely to stab DH than shag him in those circumstances hmm

Add message | Report | Contact poster By Mon 06-Jul-09 16:43:17

I used to be the same with my DH, in fact I would get cross if we didn't have sex everyday... even if we'd argued. Not quite the same 10years on, four dcs down the line!!

He'll get over it....

Add message | Report | Contact poster By Mon 06-Jul-09 16:41:16

Abetadad, the funny thing is that things very improving in that dept until this all happened!

Add message | Report | Contact poster By Mon 06-Jul-09 16:32:33

TD - I am coming to realise he has issues I think about how much (he thinks) I love him etc, we had a full weekend of talking/crying/some very uncomfortable honesty about a lot of stuff and I honestly think that we can build on this and move forward (and so does he). His sex drive is definetly linked to how much he feels valued and respected in the relationship.
It was him that wanted me to post on here about this, as he thought I was so so wrong. I don't think this issue in itself brought the problems, but was the cherry on the cake so to speak.

Add message | Report | Contact poster By Mon 06-Jul-09 09:37:41

This is perfectly normal, IMO.

Add message | Report | Contact poster By Sun 05-Jul-09 23:06:53

I agree with Jumente -me & DH have had this conversation before just switched roles. When were argueing he still wants sex but I dont see how he could want it if theres ill feeling between us. To me it just doesnt feel right until weve sorted our problems.
Its just each to their own I guess doesnt mean I love him less or vice versa and I would break up with DH over it.

Add message | Report | Contact poster By Sun 05-Jul-09 21:42:01

Lilacclaire- it sounds as though DH is less self assured/less confident than you are. What are the subtle ways that you can reassure him? Otherwise, this will just keep creeping back into the relationship and spoiling your happiness as a couple/family.

Add message | Report | Contact poster By Sun 05-Jul-09 19:55:48

Jumente - I think my dp is definetly the same mindset as you.

I didn't realise it would be a big deal at all, but I nearly had to scrape him off the floor!

He is very emotional, he has described me as the man and him as the woman before!! (NOT looks wise I hasten to add).

It doesn't mean I don't love or respect him, just that I might be a pissed off with him at the same time I happen to be horny!

Add message | Report | Contact poster By Sun 05-Jul-09 19:47:58

I LOVE make-up sex, that's the best sex there is I must admit I enjoy getting DH worked up and then going for it. nothing like a bit of tension to liven things up ;)

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Relationship breaker sex question!!!!!