Thanks DP.

Passes over the bottle.

hey..you have me as a cyber-friend....what more do you need?

i'll even drink all your wine...just to stop you getting drunk..

I think he just hates me, for no good reason really. He acts like I am a total inconvenience and just rants over anything I try to say. He does the bare minimum with our daughter, but has never, ever missed a weekend with her, so is able to paint himself as a good dad. He doesn't even know the name of her form teacher.

It is just especially hard when I get a double whammy from both my exes. I like to think that I am a reasonably decent parent (don't we all?) and stuff like this knocks me a bit. This is why I always advocate to others to keep contact to a minimum and to keep it relevant.

Oh, I'm boring myself now. Sorry.

<<knocks back wine. pours another>>

Just hold on to the fact that in 3 or 4 years your dd will be able to organise contact herself, and you won't need to deal with him so much.

poor you - what an absolute arse of a man.
I can't see where a kick up the arse is warranted - you haven't done anything wrong - sounds like you have the patience of a saint.

Not much I can say to console you except I suppose it will end - when your kids are older and you won't need to be involved. much.

have a nice glass of wine

Ah right the sofa thing we can pass over

The disprespecting you is really Not On

What do you think you should do? Hope he was just having a drunken rant and cross fingers perhaps?

Mangoes are quite heavy so I am slightly envious of your juggling skills.

This will teach me to try and keep up with Ulrika.

As my mother says ... ' I DID tell you! '( cheers mum.)

The on the sofa thing was supposed to be short term. He let out his house when he couldn't sell it and moved in with his g/f. They then couldn't sell her house. Soooo, 18 months on, the temporary on the sofa thing is permanent, whilst her kids aged 14 and 18 have a bedroom each.

Shineon, I was going to make an easy gag - no but I am juggling mangoes - but he has behaved awfully, and am stunned that dd has to sleep on his sofa - not even a futon or a blow up bed??

No advice but I am very sympathetic

<manly pat>

<theatrical behind the back and over the shoulder trick>

I find it really hard having to deal with two ex partners. My DSs dad is also hard work, but in a different way. I keep all contact with him on the down low and as amicable and fair as possible as he can be a whole different nightmare.

Never gonna end is it?!?

Hello.

Am feling sorry for myself and would love all you lovely ladies to give me a kick up the arse please.

For those of you who don't know me- and sorry to bore the ones who do- I have 2 children with different fathers. Both fathers are very involved, have always paid maintenance and I have it set up that they go to their respective fathers every other weekend for the same amount of time.

I 'get on' with both of them most of the time and I manage this with a combination of keeping contact to a minimum, keeping the contact relevant to the kids and playing fair and keeping them both in the loop.

Doesn't always work though. Last night my DD's dad was spectacularly awful to me.She is almost 11 and we have been split up for 9 years. He lives with his girlfriend of 9 years, and I am amicable with her although I do not 'know' her as she avoids contact with me. That's cool though.

I had texted him to clarify some collecting details for our DD. He got shirty with me as I was not immediately grasping the finer nuances of the arrangements.

He rang me at 11pm last night. He had obviously been drinking and was walking home from the pub. ( He is a heavy drinker, on and off and although not a violent drunk, he can be argumentative and shouty when pissed ). He started ranting at me, apropos of nothing really. I had questionecd him over an isue, he didn't like it. He started off by saying he didn't think he was my DDs father as ' she doesn't act like me.' He then said he had two 'independent witnesses ' who had seen me mouth the words 'fucking bitch ' to his girlfriend last week ( this is so ludicrous that I almost laughed. It would never happen.) He said his mum and sister hated me. He then ranted about how our DD was prone to telling tales (she can be, it's no biggie..)and that this was the biggest issue with her. He said he felt ashamed of her for telling tales, quoting an incident last year at school when she told the teacher that a girl in her class had called her a name. She was 9 at the time.). He said that she will get beaten up when she moves up to secondary school in a years time due to this and it will be my fault as I refuse to acknowledge she tells tales. He then said he only said he wasn't her dad to 'get my attention as the big issue was her tale telling. '

I am so taken aback by this. We have little contact usually, but I have pulled him up over the past month or so for doing absolutely fuck all with our DD when he has her at weekends- she even sleeps on a sofa when she goes there as it is his g/f's house and she has two children.

I hung up on him in the end and he won't contact me again unless he absolutely has to, so no worries about it going on and on. I jst feel a bit down that he can say such things and fel ashamed of her when she is the best in her school year work wise, has lots of friends and is well thought of at school. She is also a very kind and helpful girl.

I have no hidden resentments here either.Always try and do the right thing and I always have promoted his relationship with his g/f in a positive light, even though I think she is weird.

Just feeling sorry for myself.

Cheer me up or tell me to get a grip.

Either is fine by me.