Mumsnet Talk

..but in a good way and it's what DP loves most about me . This is just a bit of an indulgent post to ponder on my lovely fiance and our relationship, hope no one minds.

What he said (we were a bit squiffy) was that I'm the most uncomplicated girl he's ever met.

He said blokes are simple creatures, and women tend to be much more complex but that he doesn't think I am at all, hence I am more like a bloke.

For example he said that if he's a bit low, I'll cheer him up. Rather than probe him as to why he's low and go on at him until he talks about it etc (although we do talk, a lot, about everything).

Or if he's tired or can't be bothered to do something, I'll say fine and either leave it or do it myself. I won't be passive aggressive or moody about it, if he doesn't want to do it then I won't make him (this is because it doesn't happen often and he is brilliant at pulling his weight, in fact I have definitely got the better deal here).

Or if he asks me to do something and I don't want to, I'll say no. He says this is brilliant because he knows (this is true) that I won't say I'll do something I don't want to and then be a martyr to it.

It doesn't look as good written down but it was all very romantic when he was explaining it to me. I don't know about being blokish, I think it's just that I am shallow and can't be doing with Deep Thoughts most of the time .

We don't argue, and I think that's because we are both incredibly laid back, and although life has its stresses, we're never (so far) on opposite sides so we lean on each other.

I am a lazy cow when it comes down to it and will do the bare mimimum effort with housework for eg, although our house is beautiful and clean and tidy I don't devote my life to it (like my mother) and don't get stressed about it. So I don't nag, because a) I am a SAHM with children at school and my day is mostly spent on MN so if I want something done I can do it myself and b) I hate to be nagged myself so wouldn't do it to him.

He is the NICEST person I have ever met, he is one of life's goodies and a wonderful human being (puts me to shame actually because I can be a right cowbag ). He is never cross with me, even if he comes home from a hard days work to find me sprawled on the sofa surrounded by chaos he'll just ask if I've had a nice day.

He is daddy to my children, who adore him, he handles my vast and tricky family with aplomb, he gets roaring drunk with me and then looks after me when I'm hung over, he lets me make all the decisions wrt finances and house stuff and he always does the washing up. Plus he's the cleverest and most talented person I've ever met and he's gorgeous.

So, do you think it will last? We are two years in and things are still pretty much perfect. Will it all come crumbling down or does anyone have a relationship like this that has lasted a long time? My sister says that bickering and sniping is inevitable after a while, I don't think it has to be.

Come and tell me all about your GOOD relationships.

Oh, you unromantic lot.

Come on, I am planning my wedding and it's a sunny day. Come and be all sappy and romantic with me. Well, not WITH me, but YKWIM .

He sounds wonderful.

Does he have a single brother?

Sounds like a keeper to me! Enjoy it

He does have a single (older) brother who is a lifelong bachelor.

And he has an identical twin, but he's married already so you can't have him.

We've told all our friends we're getting married and the overriding theme is that they knew we would from day one and they've never met a couple so suited <ahhhh>.

<giddy>

Aaaahhhhhhhhhhh. I think that's lovely. (My dh is great too!)

Thanks Hully.

You read so many sad stories about awful marriages and it's good to be reminded that it doesn;t have to be that way, I think.

I'm married to a fabulous man, only 2.5 years married with a LO so I hope it lasts
He's absolutely fantastic - I'm a SAHM and some days he comes back from work to find me on MN, dishes in the sink, vacuum cleaner idle where he left it after hoovering up the night before and telltale biscuit crumbs on my chin and he'll still make me a cuppa and ask how my day was. He never judges me even when it's obvious that I've done nothing all day except play with DD. He's so undemanding and he's a brilliant dad. He always lets me know he finds me sexy, even at 9 mths pregnant, bloated and grumpy he still told me I was gorgeous. He spoils me rotten by bringing me tea every morning, doing little things that don't seem like much but are brilliant. He works all day but never reminds me that I need to crack on with stuff cos he's earning the money...at least once I day I feel he's got the raw end of the deal. I just get pampered and loved and he gets to eat my cooking!!
My parents have been together 38 years and they're completely in love. Ok, they've had tricky times but if my relationship with DH is anything like theirs in 30 years I'll be chuffed to bits.
I loved planning my wedding...wish it happened more than once cos I'd love to do it again!!

What a lovely idea for a thread.

I know just what you mean about being 'blokish'. My husband is very honest and straightforward, and since we have been together, I have learnt to be more honest and straightforward, too. It makes our life together easy and happy.

My husband is the nicest man in the world. he is nice to me 100% of the time, and will always consider my feelings before his own. For instance, money has been a bit tight recently, but he offered to pay for a haircut, facial and manicure because I had a big night out with some old friends and he thought it would be important for me to look good for it.

He never looks at other women, and tells me I am beautiful every day. He appreciates every little thing I do for him, and does everything I ask of him without complaining.

He is also extremely handsome with nice shiny floppy hair and dimples.

I think your sister is wrong - bickering and sniping are not necessary or inevitable, as long as you continue to love, respect and appreciate one another - and I believe your happiness will last.

Seriously, I wish I could be more like you but I'm not. (Sometimes I think I might even be a bit passive/aggressive but would never admit it!!)
I wish I could meet a man like yours, but in reality I would probably either walk all over him and lose respect for him for letting me or I'd get bored.
I am and always have been attracted to the wrong type of men and it always leads to disaster.
I know but true.
I'm happy for you though - we need more happy threads like this on here.

Awww, sounds lovely.

"I am a SAHM with children at school and my day is mostly spent on MN so if I want something done I can do it myself"

Can I skip to that part of life please? (pref with DP being DH by that point and making oodles of money so I can have pretty cake tins for the gorgeous cakes I will bake)

DP said one of the things he likes about me iis that I am a bit like Wednesday from the Addams family - my default position is not to like people very much (humans are rubbish). So it means much more that I like him, apparently.

Of course your sister is wrong. If she is a bickerer and a spiner then maybe bickering and sniping are inevitable for her, but not for you.

Aw <wipes tear>

How lovely.

Ginnny, I thought the same as you before i met DP, that I was more suited to badduns because I'd walk all over a goodun. Not true. DP brings out the best in me, and the fuckwits brought out the worst.

Lol at Wednesday Addams. that's not at all how you come across on here .

You sound ideally suited to me! Of course things don't have to descend into bickering - I really believe you are either a couple who does bicker, or not. I too am a simple creature and have a wonderful kind helpful clever partner who treats me with love and affection all the time. It's been three and a half years so far, and I couldn't fault him for anything and we are stupidly happy together. That might sound smug, but I think we are just very very lucky, and probably both quite nice. You two sound like lucky nice people too

Maybe there's hope for me yet then Reality???

I'm feeling quite emotional now ...

Thanks BoF, I think that's it, we are nice and we are simple

OH Reality you just described my dh, and the good news is that tomorrow we will be the 16th anniversary of our first kiss!

We have 3 dcs and have been married 9 years, and I still love him and fancy him to bits and he feels the same about me,
although sometimes we will have a really stupid fight but just to have a really good make up

<<squeeze for Ginnny>>

PlumBumMum, that's lovely <warm fuzzy>

Lol, I'm all sweetness and light on here cos I haven't been here long enough to get away with being grumpy Plus if you lot annoy me I can kill you switch off the computer. People in RL just don't go away.

It's so nice to have an 'I like DP/DH' thread to go with the ones about people splitting up or arguing all the time.

Reality, do you think it helps that we are demons in the sack too?

Hehehehe.


Yes.

What with this thread and FAQ getting remarried to her DH, it's a lovely day on MN today.

<blissful>

Awww, lovely thread.

You sound very lucky to have found each other, very well suited.

Have been with DH for 13 years, married for 7 and I can honestly say that he is the nicest person I have ever met. He is kind and caring and would do anything for me and our boys.
I can be moody/temperamental but he knows how to handle me and has what my Mother describes as a "quiet strength".
I knew I would marry him after our first date (after our supposed one night stand ) as I had never felt so comfortable with another person, no awkwardness at all, flip flops in my tummy but that was nice.

I wonder if he'd come home for lunch if I asked him????