How long does it take you to have an orgasm?

[nappyaddict]

I was going to name change but then I figured people would probably think I was trolling or something so here goes ...

It takes me bloody forever! Usually so long that one or both of us gets bored and gives up but it seems to be taking even longer than normal atm. Is it normal to take so long? I'm not on any new medication or anything so that can't be it. I can be right on the brink and I'll be thinking this is it and then nothing. I even ejaculate but don't feel a thing. I've tried concentrating on the big o, not concentrating, thinking out fantasies in my head, trying not to think of anything, letting my mind wander, tensing up, relaxing, breathing quickly, deep slow breathing, even holding my breath lol. Nothing is working and it's leaving us both very frustrated.

----

If you've found this page in your search of the best sex toys that can help you achieve orgasm and have been recommended by fellow Mumsnet users, you might find our guide to the best sex toys for women useful. Hope this helps! MNHQ

[mrsmaidamess]

It's not all about the destination,. The journey has to be fun too. You are overthinking it.

[ridingjoker]

yup. overthinking. and alcohol makes a huge effect on my speed too. even just a cheeky wee half shandy would cause me to take forever.

but stone cold sober is quick.

[nappyaddict]

really i didn't know that about alcohol. i thought only copious amounts affected it. i usually have 2 pints of lager a night so perhaps that's it.

I did think i was concentrating too much on the end result but even when i'm really relaxed and just enjoying the moment it still doesn't happen.

[Tortington]

doesn't take me long at all. have yoiu tried having a fullish bladder?

[nappyaddict]

ah actually i don't think it is alchol. When I DIY I am stone cold sober and it doesn't happen then either.

[TheDevilWearsYFronts]

Weeping at fullish bladder. Genius.

[nappyaddict]

No I always go to the toilet before sex. I like to be sure I am ejaculating and not just pissing myself

[cornsilk]

Isn't a full bladder a bit uncomfortable?

[Tortington]

its just a suggestion. i am not stating that you have to piss on each other - or that youhave to be so full that you want to wee. i am saying that a fuller bladder might intensify the feelings.

why are you weeping tdwp?

[ridingjoker]

i actually find it more off putting if i haven't emptied my bladder as i'm worrying about wee-ing mid shag

[ByThePowerOfGreyskull]

If I am on my own and in the right frame of mind, i takes less than 2 minutes, if I am with dh it takes longer, but I am less focussed on the destination and don't mind if we never get there.

If find if I am on my own that hodl ing my breath really intensifies the orgasm, DH tends to worry too mch for me to dot hat thoug.

[veryembarrassedmummy]

according to my research- see my other posts about the elusive O- the average time for a woman is 30 minutes.

I can take anything from about 20 mins with help ( my vibrating friend) or even up to 45 mins.

2 mins sounds incredible to me!

[juicychops]

with dp - no more than about 2-3 mins every time and at least 3-4 times per session

by myself - between 5-8 mins

[juicychops]

try different positions??
certain positions for me can make everything a lot more intense and can make me orgasm quicker

[veryembarrassedmummy]

I am going to say the unthinkablle- so slap me if i am wrong.

How do you come in 2 minutes and are you sure you really are coming, not just being very aroused?

[nickschick]

17 years lmao

[nickschick]

did dwp mistype weeping and mean weeing??? lmao

[juicychops]

ha ha! its definately an orgasm its the definate feeling of an orgasm. dp also can feel it when i come too. dp knows exactly what to do and what positions will make me come faster. there are a few positions that i can't come at all no matter how long we have sex for so we just dont do them positions very often. and if im on then i cant usually come very much for some reason and also if im ill or first thing in the morning.

so there are exceptions! but most of the time it just comes easy!

[juicychops]

pun intended!

[veryembarrassedmummy]

JP- I am soooooooo jealous of you. Are these vaginal orgasms?

I have never had 1 in my life and neither have about 30% of all women- I like to read about this stuff.

Most women come via the clitoris. ( does that make sense?)

[ShowOfHands]

I don't. Well, I did once and sobbed afterwards it was so mind blowing.

Otherwise, nada.

I think I'm doing it wrong tbh.

[veryembarrassedmummy]

JC- can we swap fangos please?

[Jazzicatz]

2 - 5 minutes normally with partner, about 5 -10 on my own

[juicychops]

yes vaginal orgasms.

i can have cliteral ones quite easily doing it myself but it takes a bit longer. and also once ive had one the area gets too sensitive to have another for a while whereas vaginal ones i can have just one after the other. but cos it happens so easily it does actually get very knackering cos i cant control it or slow it down except by changing positions

im just very lucky i suppose and must be super super sensitive! i do even on occasion have them in my sleep but they are cliteral ones where my legs must be rubbing together or something causing friction on my clit

[juicychops]

ha ha VEM, i wouldn't swap for the world! dp absolutely loves it