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Pleeeease help me do the right thing.

25 replies

moreofit · 19/05/2009 00:11

Dh - a good man, had his GCSE maths tomorrow.

Following his redunadancy and some very very low ebbs, I got him interested in getting a C [which he could do drunk tbh] and his exam was tomorrow.

He was so excited, and sure he would do well, and looking forward to it. It was to be followed by science, then maybe start an ou degree. To take 6 years or so. Maybe one day a PGCE.

To get out of engineering and blue collar misery of hire and fire.

The exam was today. He missed it.

He just realised.

I feel trapped, lonely, responsible, I hate where I live [moved to be near his work], I have made sacrifice after sacrifice - willingly as I love him.

And yet, I feel let down. I think he could have done this. Just something to show me he can step up and help us all get our family moving. I know it's selfish and I shoudl try to comfor him. But his 'Oh I'm so stupids' are just annoying.

I haven't words really.

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jasper · 19/05/2009 00:15

moreofit call me a selfish twunt but I would be hopping mad in your shoes. How could he MISS IT?

what reason did he give?

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zookeeper · 19/05/2009 00:16

Go to bed, sleep on it and tomorrow find out when and where he can sit the next GCSE. Look on it as a hiccup or otherwise you might kill him.

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moreofit · 19/05/2009 00:22

I'm so glad you haven't told me to make love to him.

iyswim.

I am hopping mad. His excuse is he is an idiot. An dhe is sorry he let me down.

I feel for him I really do, but I am so cross I can't do this. I can't. I can't make him feel better and console him and all that.

I think zookeeper has good advice.

Oh God. ARRRRRGGGGGGHH!

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jasper · 19/05/2009 00:28

zookeeper you are clearly a more mature person then me. I would not outwardly make a fuss but I would SEETHE inside over this.
More, are you the sole earner in the household?

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Tinker · 19/05/2009 00:31

I knew it was today as I started reading this post.

So, he deliberately missed it or just not organised? I'm not clear.

He doesn't need it in order to sign up for OU though

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moreofit · 19/05/2009 00:33

No -actually he got a job in March [sorry failed to mention that] and I am onleave at the moment.

\In my head I am seething. And screaming. And have an overwhelming urge to smack him in the face. And I want to run off and leave them all to it. I'd only get to the end of the road, this is my family, my husband. I love him. I am trapped.

The fucking numpty.

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moreofit · 19/05/2009 00:38

He said when he got the job he wanted to get away from his industry and try to do something else. This was the little beginning of a long long road. Fucking great start.

Maybe we can't better ourselves. Maybe we will always drive a £300 car that probably wont start. While my uni mates get promoted and build extensions.

God I'm going to end up bitter and resenting him adn hating myself.
This is my bed better lie in it. Fuck fuckity.

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jasper · 19/05/2009 00:38

I would feel exactly as you do

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moreofit · 19/05/2009 00:39

Thanks jasper.

Tears now. Am so dissapointed. I wanted to be so proud of him.

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moreofit · 19/05/2009 00:42

Exam was Monday. He booked Tuesday off work. But he just checked the exam time and it was Monday.

True about the OU. But It was like a start at study, and to get those basic grades, that are so useful in professions. We did lots of looking at primary teaching, writing to schools to get visits etc. So he needs Maths for that.

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jasper · 19/05/2009 00:43

Pour yourself a big glass of wine and punch a cushion.
Have a good cry .
It's not the end , really it's not. He can do it again, can't he?This is just a blip.
Ok it's a big blip.

Make that two glasses?

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jasper · 19/05/2009 00:46

and anyone can better themselves. The main thing is the desire and you both have that. This is NOT the end. Think of it as a false start.
You love him. He 's a twerp today but you still love him and he will pass the rotten exam next time.

(mutters "he bloody well better..")

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moreofit · 19/05/2009 00:48

Indeed. I will get a grip and some...er...weapons heart.

It's just so annoying that in order for anything to happen I feel I have to organise it. Even fecking exams. Grrrah.

Thank you so much - you have defused me alot, and that is not easy.

Cheers.

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moreofit · 19/05/2009 00:50

Tell you what, teenagers will be a doddle. I will have practised on him.

He'll probably get all his exams, become vastly succesful and leave me for a high power exec.

Serve my sanctimonious ass right!

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jasper · 19/05/2009 00:51

I feel your pain.
You may even look back on this and joke about it... but not anytime soon

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OrangeFish · 19/05/2009 00:56

Have you thought of becoming the person to get your "family moving"

I'm just asking because I have a very intelligent aunt who when young decided to support her husband so he could have a degree (meaning paying all his university fees and be the sole earner of the family for a few years). To be honest, my adorable uncle, even with the degree, has never shown to have what it takes to improve the family finances.

I have always thought that if she hadn't left him to be "the man of the house" and had gone to University herself they would have done substantially better.

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moreofit · 19/05/2009 01:03

Oh thank God, I so expect some more...er...opposite posts..but I'm not ready for them now.

Yay mn.

orangeFish - I am in a fairly well paid job. I'd earn 30k p.a full time. I work part time due to the dc's, but you know if it transpires he hasn't the calibre to get much futher in terms of work, I can see me going full time and him doing a little something or other and being home with the kids.

As I am no lover of my job, it's shifts or it's working conditons and stress, I can only imagine hating that too. Oh dear!

It's agood idea though, why should I rely on him to get the new boiler we need.

Damm it though, I wouldn't need to be ripping our relationshio into bits if he just got the day right.

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OrangeFish · 19/05/2009 01:17

There is a saying in the place that I come from that translates as "You can't ask the oak for pears". Do what you need to get you and your family to the place you want to be, I'm sure it would be less of a struggle than trying to get a person who find it so difficult through the same process.

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moreofit · 19/05/2009 01:28

That is very very true.

Where you from then? [if it somewhere glorious and exotic I may stamp my foot]

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kickassangel · 19/05/2009 01:30

moreofit, there's more than one exam (usually), so when are the others? check them out & get him to it, then he prob only needs to resit the one he just missed, around dec/jan time. he will also be able to re-enter the coursework he did for this time around.

if you know which exam board, you can look up dates on their website. in fact, ALL maths GCSE papers are the same day, no matter which exam board, so just look up any of them.

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OrangeFish · 19/05/2009 01:31

ok, I would keep it to myself because it is, definitively, glorious and exotic

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moreofit · 19/05/2009 01:41

Grrr Orangefish.

Kickassangel - thanks for that! I hadn't thought of that, I thought of him in an 'evening class' exam. But he would have been in with the 16yo wouldn't he. So maybe he can resit.

That is a positive. Lord knows we need them.

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moreofit · 19/05/2009 01:41

OrangeFish - go on then, where is it?

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StayingZen · 19/05/2009 07:02

My daughter's second maths paper is at 0900 on Monday June 1st. The board is Edexcel, but it is iGCSE (international) rather than GCSE, don't know whether that makes any difference. I do feel for you, it would be much easier to just go and do the exams ourselves, wouldn't it!

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jasper · 20/05/2009 00:46

come on orangefish, I want to know too!
How's things looking today moreofit?

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