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I think I may have upset DH a bit...

10 replies

insertwittynicknameHERE · 11/04/2009 07:17

I have apologized as I fully know I can be a snappy cow when I am pregnant. He has said it is okay but I think he is still a bit peed off with me and I don't know what to do. Should I just give him time to get over it or apologize again?

It was all over him saying that in the summer holidays (he only works term time) that he wants to get the train to visit his aunt who lives in Kent. He finishes work on the 14th of July and DD2 is due on the 17th of July. I said I would rather wait until the next holiday he had and for us to hire a car as I don't really want to take DD1&2 and all our bags on the train from here to Kent. I thought I was quite tactful when I said it but obviously not.

He looked and seemed really put out.

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insertwittynicknameHERE · 11/04/2009 07:20

Also DH and I very very rarely argue or have words so this is why I am a bit unsure of what to do. If I should apologize again or just leave him to it!!!!

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EffiePerine · 11/04/2009 07:24

why apologise?

you could suggest he goes on the train on his own (if he can get back quickly if need be) with DD1 so you can have a restful day with friends?

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insertwittynicknameHERE · 11/04/2009 07:27

That would be nice but it is about 250 miles away from us so would have to be an overnighter and the wouldn't be any guarantee that he could get home if I went into labor.

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WowOoo · 11/04/2009 07:28

Does he want to go away when you're due?

Think he's the one being a bit nuts and selfish if that's the case!

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insertwittynicknameHERE · 11/04/2009 07:28

I apologized as DH said that I snapped at him that the baby is due then. I didn't think I did but I know I can be very snappy and short tempered when I am pregnant so it is very possible I did.

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insertwittynicknameHERE · 11/04/2009 07:29

I think he forgot that that was when the baby was due IYSWIM.

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warthog · 11/04/2009 07:33

don't apologize again. it is unreasonable to go when you're due so soon. i'm sure he just was annoyed that his plans were thwarted, and is a bit grumpy. it's not your fault he forgot. just move on.

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insertwittynicknameHERE · 11/04/2009 07:34

I will move on, I thought it was all fine but he seemed really off with me IYSWIM and I thought that he was still peeved. But I will just leave it now.

Thanks.

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ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 11/04/2009 08:18

Stop apologising.
1 - you only need to apologise once if you feel you were out of order, any more is begging and a very unhealthy activity. If a partner (or anyone) is peeved and 'off with you' when you really haven't done anything wrong it's their problem, not yours, and you shouldn't encourage that behaviour by feeding it with apologies and your anxiety.
2 - you are pregnant and have the right to be snappy, if he doesn't understand that you better teach him soon as you'll be more than snappy in labour/in the depths of sleep deprivation/hormonal insanity post baby
3 - you were right, he shouldn't go that far away from you when you are due. He was out of order to suggest it, and also out of order for forgetting the due date.

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insertwittynicknameHERE · 11/04/2009 08:48

lol hormonal insanity post baby, that is just how I felt after DD1 lol.

I think it had just slipped his mind TBH. Thing is we hardly ever argue or have words, the last time was when DD1 was about 3 weeks old and she is now 16.5mo. We generally talk and tell each other if the other has upset us IYSWIM so it is dealt with there and then.

I have been wondering if he is worrying about the prospect of DD2 arriving, he has been a bit snappy and withdrawn of late. He did this when I was pregnant with DD1. I know he is a bit worried about money as well at the minute so maybe it is coming out in this way.

I wont apologize anymore (wasn't sure if I should) But I think I will ring his aunt and see if it is okay for us to go and visit later on in the year instead.