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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

8 and a half months pregnant, just had the vomiting bug, H to move out today, my Birthday this weekend. Can I have some sympathy please?

26 replies

YouKnowNothingoftheCrunchie · 09/04/2009 09:33

That's it really

Tried one more time with H, he moved back in for 2 weeks, more emotional abuse after week one, supposed to have moved out but has left half his stuff here so scared he'll come back. Told me I was being irrational and hormonal and clearly couldn't think straight and so was making a mistake asking him to leave.

Had the horrible vomiting bug Sunday night and still can't eat or do much.

2 weeks 'til EDD - not long to get everything sorted and no energy to do it

And it's my Birthday this weekend. My mum's going to try to make it up, but if not it'll just be me and the DCs.

Can I have some sympathy please, even for the bits I brought upon myself (i.e. giving H another chance)?

Thanks.

OP posts:

Report

PullMyFinger · 09/04/2009 09:34

Oh you poor thing, you are having an awful time

FAQinglovely · 09/04/2009 09:36

aww {{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}

re your birthday - can your mum look after the DC's? If not doesn't matter, get on the phone today and invite all your friends round on Saturday night (or whichever day your birthday actually is). Get a movie, and some drinks (non-alcoholic for you obviously ) and some food and enjoy.

My DH moved out on my birthday last year - and I had 3 friends round in the evening, we had pizza and wine and it was great. So doesn't matter even if you only get a few people there.

YouKnowNothingoftheCrunchie · 09/04/2009 09:41

Thanks for joining in my unashamed self-indulgence

No one can make it sadly. Easter is a bad time. Not sure I'd have the energy for anything anyway. Quite looking forward to cuddling down with the DSs watching Doctor Who

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Comewhinewithme · 09/04/2009 09:44

I'm sorry it sounds pants I am 33 weeks and feeling sorry for myself but you are really having a shit time .

Hope you manage to have a good weekend buy yourself a massive egg and maybe have a small glass of wine and enjoy Dr Who .

I know we don't go in for hugs on here but sod it

((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))).

YouKnowNothingoftheCrunchie · 09/04/2009 09:55

Thanks CWWM, all fellow "feeling sorry for selves" are very very welcome.

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cikecaka · 09/04/2009 09:55

Oh poor you! My heart goes out to you!

cheerfulvicky · 09/04/2009 10:00

You poor love Dr Who sounds like a good plan, always makes me feel better anyway You must be feeling huge and knackered on top of all this - rather than being irrational I think you are being amazing. Take care and keep posting here!

StercusAccidit · 09/04/2009 10:12

He is frightened you have realised he is a twat and booted him out, thats why he is attacking you verbally and emotionally.

Sad little man. No sympathy for you sorry....................ONLY PRAISE!! Well done for being so strong xx

StercusAccidit · 09/04/2009 10:13

I am feeling sympathy for ya really i'm just hiding it behind the pom pom shaking lol

bumpybecky · 09/04/2009 10:15

((((hugs)))) for you YKNotC. It sounds like you're having a really rough time

We all had a nasty vomitting bug last Easter and it was truley miserable. It doesn't seem to have put us off Easter eggs this year though! Hope you're feeling better soon

YouKnowNothingoftheCrunchie · 09/04/2009 10:25

Thanks everyone

OP posts:

YouKnowNothingoftheCrunchie · 09/04/2009 10:51

Need more nice words as am feeling queezy again.

I think I need a [shameless neediness] emoticon.

OP posts:

Idranktheeasterspirits · 09/04/2009 10:56

you're a wonderful mum, your skin is fantastic, your legs are to die for..... and did i mention you have a fab sense of style?

was that enough nice words for you? A weekend with the children watching Dr Who and relaxing sounds like heaven to me. Enjoy, ignore insecure dickhead ex and chill out about getting ready for the birth. You have two weeks, that's plenty of time.

Tesco do a thai lemon grass and ginger cordial that is fabulous for sickness by the way. Try it with fizzy water and ice.

MrsWeasley · 09/04/2009 10:57

Are kids old enough to decorate cakes etc?

Just spend your birthday doing things with the DCs that make you all happy, you will have a day to remember, let them decorate a cake or some little cakes for you (even if they are shop ones) have a picnic in the park, garden, living room, watch a DVD and eat pop corn, end day with baths for all with loads and loads of bubbles.
works for me!

Hope the sickness goes soon.

YouKnowNothingoftheCrunchie · 09/04/2009 11:04

That's more like it (and yes, my skin is actually fantastic right now, but I won't go into my legs)

Will look out for that cordial, sounds lovely.

DS1 will decorate a cake for me I'm sure he's been amazing this week helping out with ds2 and bringing me things.

I like the plans a lot. Feeling I have less to feel sorry for myself about already!

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BitOfFunnyBunny · 09/04/2009 11:05

Oh you poor thing! You sound well rid of him though - this birthday will be all the better for being the first without the loser. You can come on here for a virtual birthday party when it's time and we will cheer you up

goodnightmoon · 09/04/2009 11:18

sending much sympathy your way! puts my own whinging into perspective ...

hope you enjoy your birthday in an ironic way.

cheerfulvicky · 09/04/2009 11:19

Yes, think how peaceful and calm and non-drama-y your birthday will be, just you and your DC's hanging out and enjoying yourself

Secretly, you can look forward to showing him in the future that this is not a hormone fuelled strop but a wise, considered decision that you should have made ages ago. He must be shitting himself secretly, for the moment when you have enough self assurance to tell him just what a twat he is and how much happier you are without him.

YouKnowNothingoftheCrunchie · 09/04/2009 11:33

Thanks BOF and GNM, virtual party it is

How's your new place Cheerfulvicky? Is it all working out?

Calm and non-drama-y?! Does that exist?! Is it possible that Saturday could actually be about (shock horror) ME?

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StercusAccidit · 09/04/2009 12:17

Well IMO and this seems to have worked for me, fingers x'd.. these men are like, erm, badly brought up children.

Next time he starts with the emotional abuse, fix him with a beady glare and say "I gave you another chance to put right all you have done wrong to me. And you let me down."
Perfect the 'sorry for him' look as if to say he has also let himself down, and walk away.

Do you have a birth partner? As this is what i worried about most when DP left me for OW during my PG..being alone again during babys birth

YouKnowNothingoftheCrunchie · 09/04/2009 12:29

My mum and sister have both offered to be birth partners which is great except for the fact that they both live more than a 5 hour drive away! So they might get here in time.

I'm not too worried about going it alone (I probably should be a bit more concerned TBH). I'm still planning on a home birth, although I'm guessing putting up the pool could well be too much for me.

MW coming to drop things off tomorrow. Hope she doesn't feel this gives her an opportunity to bully me into a hospital birth.

Worst comes to the worst H can be in the house for an emergency during labour. Still don't know if I want him there (he still wants to be there)

OP posts:

lalalonglegs · 09/04/2009 12:49

Can't give you anything but sympathy on your situation but can say that putting up pool is a doddle (especially if it is one of the inflatable ones). Best to do it before labour starts though - get it put together and then prop it against a wall if there is no room to have it flat until it is needed. IME, midwives really love home births so I don't think she will try to lure you into the hospital. Good luck with everything and happy birthday.

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StercusAccidit · 09/04/2009 13:03

Oh yeah and sorry to tell you this but yes, the leaving of the stuff lying around is a mixture of 'Another bloke coming into my territory will see this and won't hitch up with MY woman' and the fact they, when all else is lost, can say 'I have just come to collect my stuff'

Bag it up ready while you're having one of those nesting things just before baby pops ... I have mixed feelings for you.. one one hand i am in awe of your bravery but i know you must be frightened about what the future holds.
Its worse during pregnancy as you feel more vulnerable.
Know you have a lot of support here and we're all rooting for you xx

YouKnowNothingoftheCrunchie · 09/04/2009 13:49

Thanks

Don't know what I'd do without MN at the moment.

I know he's leaving it here so he has to come back for it (I like how the easter hmm is looking at its ears as though they are stupid).

OP posts:

StercusAccidit · 09/04/2009 15:07

Thats cuz they are they look like 2 willies haha

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